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Through irony of situation,
satire perhaps- we divide.  Born on two planes heading opposite of one another
Five years, fifty thousand kilometres
Between us
Tell me my lovely professor- how are we ever to survive?
Dreaming, with vibrance & intricate process
How must the sun beam through your achromatic curtains
Onto a playground for light to enjoy
The length of your body, must provide exceptional angles
For angels to run and hide
Tiny light beams, scattered
Unattainable, yet so beautiful
Awaking the next morning
You are bathed, in
Glitter or pixie dust?
I think about you around the holidays,
how I’d follow the sprinkles scattered on the floor
like bright constellations guiding me to you
kneading dough on the kitchen counter.
Your dress shirt, missing a button near the pressed collar,
was painted with flour. You carried those grains of sugar
in the pocket of your fingernails for days.

The holidays aren’t the same since you left.
The wreath has shed its needles
like a rattlesnake stripping of its skin.
The Coca-Cola snow globe on the mantel has cracked,
leaking snow confetti onto the rug.
(I swear it was sobbing, too.)

Last night, I awoke to a glass ornament
dropping to the floor like a fallen angel.
I sliced my fingertip on a shard
while sweeping the remains.
I found your missing button under the tree skirt,
the only piece of you that stayed.
A kiss I steal
From a lady with a veneer of steel
Instantaneously time stills.
I took one
Because I desperately wanted to sleep
My dad took 300
Because he desperately wanted to never wake up.
"I dance to stay alive"
I'm sorry, really.
It's just getting very cold.
I want to let go.
I have died time and time again
Just trying to escape
These four walls that have
Trapped me.
Abused me.
Mocked me.
Ignored me.
The beds of my nails are
Crusted with crimson
From the endless
Scratching.
Biting.
Fighting.
Igniting.
I cannot bear it
I will not bear it
Yet I am still here
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I hear them calling,
Calling out names
Names I do not remember
Or speak of.
Or know of.
Or hear of.
Or fear of.
The time has come for
A change in scenery
And perhaps company; if only
Wall 1
Wall 2
Wall 3
Wall 4
Were not in the way.
But they are so
Here I stay.
~~~
Writhing in agony
I sit here in utter
Silence.
Screaming out words
That no one hears
Just to let them out
Because I cannot hold them in
Any longer.
You will not see me anymore;
I am leaving this world.
I don't care if I have to break
Every
Bone
In
My
Body,
I am getting out.
You hear that?
I AM GETTING OUT.
How you comprehended my myriad a murmur
My mind can barely understand even with a hammer
Hard hit on my head
I a diaper-wetting toddler nestled in the warm bed
Of your comforting arms
You, in constant vigil feeding me honey-sweet plums
Singing me lullabies in your soft mellow voice
Your seemingly palpable heart always in a state of rejoice
Kindness well-articulated on your visage
Your demeanor that of a revered sage.
Your unmatched audacity to defy odds
Neutralizing all prods
Initiated by inconveniencing circumstance
A goddess of stern indefatigability, your experience in life expanse.
"Mama", the first word I most definitely learned to speak
this a poem for my mama. And all the beautiful souls out there
with whom if life wasn't benevolent enough to gift them to us
I wonder how bearably unbearable life would be.
 Dec 2013 LINK THE HERO OF TIME
-
Expanding creativity
Creating volume
As well as
Embracing
Simplicity
© Natali Veronica 2013.
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