Had I've known
silence were your
warning signs..

I wouldn't had let
myself drowned
by my loudest pain.

for while I shed my silent cries
you quietly cut deep wounds within.

Neither of us
had given a warning sign

And perhaps that's the reason
why we both ended
with aches and scars.

Maybe the reason why we feel lonely is the same reason why we were happy.

Mine was
and will always be

You.

And now I beg
to hear you laugh

For the very last time.

I silently wished
upon a shooting star
for that love
I truly deserved;
the moon silently watched
and thru wind he whispered

"You don't have to."

for the sun hath fin'lly granted

and when the clouds hath finished
its mourn,
I had found you-
beneath those loud
comforting rains.

Some yearns for me
others mourn for me
There are those who wanted me
and those who are afraid of me.

I hear them call
in different despairs

But none of them could really
give me
the love I always
long for.

You aren't the one
that got away
not even my greatest
what if.

We weren't soulmates
nor meant to be.

You are
a once in a lifetime.

And then one day
I just woke up
with a promise
of not crying
over the same reason

again.

You burned me
to melt desire
and left me
an ice frozen
heart.

Now I'm afraid
I'd break
into river flow
of pain.

She had shattered
long enough to
not be afraid
of being broken

again

Let's end it here
from that first moment
we exchanged our hellos
to that last teardrop
we held on goodbye

and with all
of our collected stars
let's find our clearest coast
away from each other...

towards the versions
we wanted for each other.

So have our first step
and let's end us here.

I sleep to escape
but even in dreams
you remind me
of what pains.

I mistook you for a home
so I made myself a comfort
only to realize
no person could be rebuilt
when he breaks down
and stumbles
nor could be run at
when rains start pouring.

Humans aren't supposed
to be called homes.

No home walks away when you
need it the most.

No home can be as cruel as them.

We rarely question
why chained doors exist
when we see one
never bothered to knock
for we know no one would open

so dearest,
why mourn for a closure
when we see it
unto someone's?

wasn't the chain
a reason to walk away
already?

Music's my greatest comfort
until one day
all songs' lyrics
remind me of you.

I used to envy spiders
for having that marvelous power
of creating homes without windows and doors.

for nothing could remind them
how painful it is
when someone leaves.

And I couldn't help
but feel amazed
by how they trap insects
and leave not a single debris.

I left
and for the first time,
the pain doesn't feel
like a torture anymore.

It fact,
it even smells like rain;
pouring all at once
with sadness
yet with hopes.

She's tough and brave
an adamant no one could break
who hath taken an oath
not to go back from being
who she was...

that sweet little girl
who had given love bigger
than the size of her fist

that very same girl
whose smiles she misses
the most

now
that she shines
like what all diamonds do.

So much kinds of hunger
in this world you'd meet
and the only craving being kept
denied
is the most painful one
one had to have-

that longing for someone
you know you can't be greedy for...

You put confetti
in every chaos I choose
to bottle up
that whenever I explode
I see colorful reasons
to go on still.

There will always be
a bittersweet taste
of reminiscing moments with you.

-Sweetness that makes me smile
upon remembering your face again.

-Bitterness that makes my heart shrinks
upon realising I won't see it again.

Let thy bitten heart
bleed all painful tears
and be it a reminder
of how all wounds heal
through aches.

She loves flowers so much
that even the dead ones
she waters tears with.

How could you close
a book with torn pages
you were afraid to read

like making someone home
just to walk out
of that door
she kept chained
for so long-

that same door
she more than willingly
opened to shelter you.

Over the hills
we watched the sunset
and I couldn't help
but admire all pastels
mixed through air,
so I captured that very scene.

Now that I look upon
the memory,

I wish I was also able
to take a photo
of that someone
who made me see it

the first
and last time.

Uprooting all mem'ries
so as we both
could move ahead.

But even rocks didn't warn us
of how waters from the riverbank
might overflow.

Let thy river flow
and wash all painful twigs
thy heart had been torn with.

You are may black crayon

the one I always use
to paint
my darkest nights.

the only color
that could match
through all my
messy moods.

the one I always
run at
when all that is visible
are most painful
in the eyes.

All fake smiles
I lost the count
whenever I see
someone love
loving
someone else.

She loved him
and he didn't had
any idea.

What's the saddest?

He knew
and she didn't had
any idea.

I have never been
so honest to myself
until the moment
I have learned
to acknowledge
how I truly felt
for him.

It was pure
and real
full of colors
and suddenly
all blacks.

You said I was rare
and finally
I found the reason
why I always longed
not to be attached

All that is rare
I suppose is a stone-
not to be melted
but to burst.

You just proved it
the moment
you walked out
the same door
you promised not
to leave footprints out.

We do not read epilogues
in the middle of conflicts
nor when characters
are torn apart

We bleed when they
fall apart

and our hearts
die to be reborn
either with hope
or emptiness.

that's when a breather takes place-
an epilogue that
makes us more
of how the ones we met
and part ways with
built us anew.

I shan't compare thee
in any catastrophe
I've been thru all storm surges
and before you came
I've been a swirling tornado.

Had I've known you'd put
all colors back after all my storms,
I wouldn't had let any
thunder's screams scared
all hell out of me

for when we met,
all aftermath made sense.

He was my sunset;
the kind of home
I embrace after all tiring days,
the one I would always
give my admirations with

He was my sunset;
the warmth I am calmed with
the one I would always
run at after all stormy threats

He was my sunset;
the reason why I breathe
in between all the saddest endings.

And when he fights and loses
against all his darkness,
I would still look at him
with all the adorations I could give
even if I see
only shadows of his love.

You broke your own heart
by the risky knife of love
and now you bleed
so you stitch it
with thread of all
painful yet so precious
memories of him.

Go on,
crowned warrior.
be braver,
for all wounds heal
when patched
with what bleeds heart.

Collect mem'ries
on sunny days
when dandelions bloom
even in autumn
when leaves fall apart.

Collect mem'ries
on windy days
when the only comfort
you had's a blanket
even on rainy days
when thunderstorms
echo here and there.

Collect mem'ries
when sky do cries
and rainbows bow
when clouds in shapes
and lightning screams
when birds sing songs
all aftermath

Collect mem'ries
from the most timid smile
a stranger gives
to the warmest hug
your love bestows

Collect all mem'ries
from all laughters that causes
stomach cramps
to the most painful cries
you shed at night

Collect
Collect them all
keep them in a jar
with others on a shelf.
for there
a vessel that complements yours
lies...

I wish it could be
as easy as breathing-
to forget people who cause us pain.

But I often forget...
sometimes
even breathing is the hardest

when you were eaten
by rotten lies.

She runs all day
to escape the pain
only to be chased by tears
when night falls off.

Such a cruel prize
from love!

Kept myself busy on daylights
to not get drowned
by the waves of missing you.

But when the night falls,
the story changes

and I wait for
another sun to rise.

Which one's the fastest?

-Light.

My Science teacher told me that.

Though he never warned me
about what comes next.

Now I hear nothing
but thunders inside-
like a hammer nailing
my chest.

The same sound
I am left with
on rainy days.

You said part of healing
is showing my truth
so I told you my story.

Only it was too late
to notice
I was already drowning

from healing over him
to falling deeper
with you.

We might not be privileged enough to
choose who we could love
but we will always have the freedom
to choose what could hurt us.

And at the end of your battle,
I hope that whatever you have chosen
will always worth all the pain.

What's even more painful than
all silent cries you shed
at 2:30 am?

You are also
someone else's prayer.

I hope you'll
remember that
while chasing after
someone who
isn't yours to keep.