here we are back again in front of the medicine cabinet with a brain full of yearning and a heart full of sadness my brain chemically ill making itself yearn for death my heart full of sadness just wanting it all to stop the only thing my mind and heart can agree on is that the sadness needs to end this must be the only way right? every other way I've tried never work long term so if not this then what's the answer
when I was little I was always bubbly and happy over time things changed the smiles became forced wanting to dress up and stand out became wanting to seem small and fit in wanting to love turned into doing anything for love I hear all the time "just wait till you get to the real world" but what if I've already seen it what if that's what changed me I once was a sweet happy innocent little girl I'm now a shell of what I once was
I used to think blue eyes were pretty, his were not. his were not cornflower, sapphire, baby, indigo, azure, or cloudy sky blue. His were midnight where the light pollution from the city blocks the stars. Iceberg, squall, hypothermia, eventual death