If I run out of words
Please help me
Find them
Because
It's time
I tell you
My thoughts & feelings
I have about you

My mouth is a cell
When it comes to you
Because the words
Are wanting to be free
But the metal bars
Won't let them out

A person can be  insane
And love you to bits

A person can (also) be  sane
And not love you at all

She writes down:
Her thoughts
Her Memories
Her Experiences

Sips on some strong alcohol
Because it makes her forget
*Every negative moment she encountered
And there comes a point where
She starts thinking about her life

Waking up next to empty bottles
With more regrets
So she grabs another one
To start her day

The pen would  dance  across the paper
It would dance to  sad songs
And it  *bled out
Feelings

T** he
O pen wounds
R emembering
N ever to let you in again

Everything will begin
To change
And you'll  *remain the same

I look straight into the sky
And I think about You
Knowing your looking
Right back at me
Or making myself
Believe that you are
You know the little things
We convince ourselves
So we can get through
The day and night
We both share the same sky
We both shared so much
You adore me
I adore you
And even if things
Shift left and right
Just know that the sky is up;
Look up Joe
Because I'm staring
Thinking you'll be doing the same

The rain starts to fall hard
Nothing but rain boots and raincoats
Don't forget about the umbrellas
Umbrellas were the worse
Every time I had one
It broke

I loved the rain more than the snow
The rain makes me think about you
Because I met you in the rain

& the long walks in the rain with you
Are memorable
We would spent more time in the rain
Then indoors
Which was lovely
I loved every second of it

I also
Fell in love with you
In the rain
& that's when You
Fell in love with the rain

I sometimes wonder
If the person I love
Will leave without
Leaving a mark

That's when  the silence
Would ring in my ear the loudest,
Making my heart the heaviest
It could ever be

Having a lot of questions that only
He could answer
Having tears that run down your
Face while your in shock
That emptiness that fills your  heart
& mind
In such a way it makes you  weak
Weak  in a way that destroys
The person you was with
**Him

The  ☼  will come out                                        
And so will the  ☽
And the day after that
And so forth
Just know that
I love you
Every second
The ☽ &  ☼ are out

There's always going to be someone that endures pain
Pain they wish they never felt
Pain they never knew was going to come

Sometimes when our minds
Is too sour
We need something*  **sweet

Sometimes  I wonder
Sometimes  **I cry
For way too long

I don't know what's eating me alive
More

Maybe its because I can't let go
Maybe its because I think TOO much
Maybe its because I don't like the way things are
Maybe its because I'm tired of waiting
Maybe its because I wish I had told you the words I had left to say
Maybe its because I wish I wasn't so shy
Maybe its because I don't love myself the way I wish I did

I don't know what's eating me alive
More

Every second that goes by thinking about you
Wanting to forget you

Or

**Regretting things I once felt was
Amazing

So much  things we learn in the process of  
**Aging

I tried to hold everything together
And seconds later, the tears seem
To fall down

And I am under
drowning

The pieces of my heart
Is scattered

And trying to
Find the pieces
Is like trying to count
The stars in the sky at night
With tears rolling down

She  loved  flowers so much
She  planted  *her own garden

would you love me

                                       if I were sane;

Learning as the days go by,
Finding the things that fit us best
& letting go  **of what starts
To rot within

Having
Everything bottled up inside
And
Remembering
The times it couldn't take anymore

Make m e  beli ev e
I'm b e a u t i f u l beca use I b elie ve I' m n o t
Regretting you g et in side my h e a d wit h eve rythi ng you e v er sa id
Regretting the th ings I di d to cha nge m yself
Ove rt hin kin g; A nd
Reme m ber ing eve ryt hing I we nt th rou gh

Have you ever thought
Our
Memories would be held here
Everytime I think about it, I can't help but cry

Suicidal thoughts,
Overthinking,
Cutting,
I
Eventually let
Them get to me, don't let them get to
You

So
Much joy
It brings
Let it show;
Eventually someone will fall in love with it

The flowers began to die
They would change color
They would curl
And suddenly they all died

And I am sick mentally
Hoping I will get better soon

I stopped walking in where the flowers were
Because I would break down
And I would water them
With my tears
And I knew I couldn't go back there
It's just too depressing
& yet I haven't cleaned it
Because I'm not ready to let go
Hoping that someday
Someone will walk in that room
And pick me up every time I fall
While we clear up the room

We'll replant new flowers
& watch them grow
Into something so Beautiful
So breathtaking

Darkness was all there was
Darkness was all I seen

Give me light
So I can be on
My way

Just a little light
Just a little light
**Can help

Everything
Just
Started
To
Fade
&
I wish I could have
**Darken Us

If you ever thought you made me smile
You did
If you ever thought you made me laugh
You did
If you ever thought you made me feel good
You did

If you would've just think a few more seconds


Have you ever thought if you made me
Sad, cry, depressed
Because you also did

& you'll never know
**Because you never cared to ask

I'll wake up
&
I feel like
I'm still
Dreaming

Listen
I 've heard
E nough
S o please, say nothing

I ask her to describe her mood
By color
& she said*  *"blue"
& I asked her why she's sad
She responded

*"I'm not,
I just love the way the ocean makes me feel
I love the water
So therefore I'm blue"

I'm scared that if he
Knows I cry
Most of the nights
He won't love me the same

He would look at me different

He'll think
I'm  too  weak
I'm  too broken
I'm  too sensitive
I'm  too depressed
I'm  too destructive

He'll think
I'm not the person he thought I was
That I'm everything but happy

& truly
I am
(Broken, Sensitive, & Depressed)
I just need time to heal
I need time to learn how to love myself
Step by Step

& just the thought that he might leave hurts
*& that scares me

The person wanting to die
Lives longer
                                                Than the one that
                                                Doesn't

   ­                                                                 ­                                       ?

He knew what she's been through
& he did the things
He said He wouldn't

                                          Even when he
                                                            ­                 Promised
                                                      ­                                                 **Not to

Things will get better
I whispered to myself

& I still wait
Until
That day it will

But you see
You are missing everything
That passes you by
Because you won't stop
Thinking about that day
You wish would come

you keep thinking & thinking
About life getting better & wanting more

That you forget to
Look at the things you have already
& you have to remind yourself
Things are the best it could be
At the moment
Because there are those
Who have it worse

And the things you wait for
May not come
But you will receive other
Things that not everyone has

Things that you didn't wish for

Things that get you through
Without you realizing it

**& that's what everyone seems To forget

We have to realize
Everyone's always
Going through something

Some people need more time
Than others
Not everyone lives the
So called normal life
Some struggle trying
To get through everyday
Of life

Things for God always come
I n the
M oments that's right, just wait & be patient
E verything will be put in its place, the way God planned it

Things came apart
But
When it came back together
Not every piece
Was put back in its place

Lies
          After
                      Lies
           ­                            & as much as I wanted to
                                         Believe  You
                                               ­                                                              **I couldn't

She'll have heartaches
Because of  you
*& he'll never know

Plenty of memories
And
Someday I will learn
To let go

Say
Everything, let it all out
Can you feel it eating you alive
Remember
Eventually
They'll all be revealed
Someday

He gave her everything
& she didn't
Understand why
Then he left because
He knew she deserved better

She avoids mirrors
Because it
Brings nothing but
Bad memories

She wasn't a cutter
Nor she burned herself
She was abused

There's too much to say
In a short amount of time
And she loses her words
And too much to say
Ends up too few
Because she gets nervous
And the butterfly wings
Are fragile
And her heart
Feels so to

Tears rush down one by one blinding me;
Every one of them
Are different
Reasons why they
Slither

Should I tell you
How I feel
Or
Do I lose sleep
Thinking about the words
I would say

Don't care
As much as me
And That hurts