i could listen to rain
for the rest of my life,
i want to bask in it's beautiful
glory
i want to swim in puddles to remind
myself i am not the only one who cries
i want to hear thunder
even though i am afraid
because i am not the rains only friend
and thunders love could bring fireworks
and remind me that even though
you are crying
you light up the sky

and even though it's been years
since i realized i wanted
to lay next to you and squeeze your hand
tight enough that you heard
"i love you more than the stars"
ring throughout that bright head of yours

it's been a month since you had to
tell me you were seriously asking me
to hold your hand in the dark
and let you place your perfectly shaped lips
against my trembling ones

it's been a month since you had to
tell me you were serious about wanting
me to be the person to kiss every part of your
sleepy eyed face at three in the morning

and i could not be more thankful
that you cradle my thoughts in your arms
along with my tear filled eyes
because i am too astounded by you
for words

and i could not be more in love
with the idea that you are in love with me
just the same that i am in love with you

i am not good
with words i should not be speaking
the wind is better at whispering
sweet nothings than my hands are
at comforting and i'm afraid
it is all my fault
i am not good
at masking things without tape
and a pair of pants
clear cardboard cutouts of home
i dream of you every night and i'm afraid
i wont stop
i am not good at
stopping myself from talking before
thinking about why i am in the first place
taking my hands and placing them
on the corners of my face
is just routine
i am nothing but good at
swimming in oceans of my own tears
and creating more storms than
sunshine inside of me
i am nothing but good at
sitting shaking in the dark
alone without wind to whisper
back to me
"you are worthless"
i am nothing but good
at being nothing but horrible