I vaguely recall
whole nights of deep
refreshing slumber,
waking renewed
and ready.
Now, every morning,
I stumble into
consciousness
from an
exhausting welter
of dreams and demons
wondering who
you must ****
to get a single,
decent night of sleep
around here?
- mce

Every night I lay in bed
Fighting between two choices.
Trying to decide what will hurt less;
Dreaming of what could have been
Or staying awake to delay
Waking up to another day of
What isn't.

I'm not afraid
that others won't forgive me
but I am afraid that
I won't forgive myself

You saw me crying
But you didn't stop me
I thought you wouldn't care
So I continued what I'm doing
I saw a shadow
Infront of where I'm staying
Removing my hands off my face
I saw you with full of worries
I cried even more
'Cause I'm so happy
Knowing that you will be there for me

if i promise not to hurt me
will you promise not to hurt you?
can't love you as i love myself...
that would be terrible for you.

screaming prayers into pillows
begging help in late night phone calls:
"do you think we'll get out alive?"
anxious, dizzy, pacing the halls.

if you tell me all your secrets
i'll tell you every one of mine.
maybe if we hold hands real tight
tomorrow we will wake up fine.

you're not alone but it's so hard--
sometimes you simply don't believe
the things you know to be the truth.
the monsters never want to leave.


                                                        ­                       but i promise not to hurt me
                                                              ­       just please promise not to hurt you
                                                             ­            i don't know how to love myself
                                                          ­                 but if you love me i'll love you.

Your hands were like summer

But your heart was pure winter

You stab me in the back with a knife,
and I apologize for bleeding on it.

I'm the crack on your lips during winter.

I'm the prickling heat against your skin during summer.

I'm the tickling breeze against your bones during spring

I'm the orange and red that dot the leaves and make your eyes crave the beauty during fall

I'm all seasons,and I'm everywhere.

When the rain comes I can't help but smile

Because its mending my cracks all the while.

When the sky rumbles I may wrap a blanket close

But the lightening is the best dose

The clouds are gray and the winds are a band of terror

I just have one wish,that this bad weather will break the mirror