i am nothing compared

                        to how you make blood rush through

                                       my veins or how at home

                               i feel when i’m next to you

                        you’ve given me meaning

starting over was a scary option
because i already spent over 500
of my days with someone
so insignificant compared to
the infinite amount of hours i
want to spend feeling your heartbeat
when i hold your hand

nevertheless i am happy
i grasped your hand instead

I still don't see
the point
of the daily foulness
maybe it gauges inside me
deeper and deeper
so I can afterwards fill it
with wonders
love
each time making a larger hole
and each time finding ways
for me to fill it


Love can do that sometimes
slowly changing.
what once was happiness
soon becomes sand
weighting on your chest
more and more
until you can't breathe
until you don't want to
breathe.

some loves can make you
not want to love again .


But it's not important.
No matter how fragile I am and if
my drowning kills me
I will rise again
Here I am , I am standing
and again I reach
for someone's sleeve of a jacket
again, willingly
again
with a rapid pounding of my heart

I
again
Live.

I lay here again.Quiet and distant as my little thoughts multiply and lay their eggs in my head.They grip with their tallons into the walls of my mind,making it incredibly hard for me to slip away.

"I just want to sleep" I beg them,but they are to selfish to let me go.

So as I lay here,red eyed an exhausted I wait patiently as I do what I always...over think.

In bed..over thinking

My little cage held in place
No dreams to chase
Like a bird with no wings
Like a butterfly without color
A man with no honour
My little cage
with its brass bars
I hear the passing cars
I watch the twinkling stars
For my little cage
Is stronger than steel
The pain is so real
the world passes me by
as i slowly die
in
my little cage