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Lady Misfortune Oct 2017
It's 2am and I'm still awake
I'm starting to think
Broken hearts don't sleep
Lady Misfortune Oct 2017
My heart just vomited
I can feel the words coming up my throat
Talk to you
I shouldn't but I know I will
I'm always so weak
Who knew the thing I chose to be my reason to live
Would also be the reason I'm breaking again
I want to flush your memory down the toilet
You're at a distant pace
Maybe I'm just too clingy
Maybe we need the space
I'm being persistent in my unstable ways
It's best for me to be alone
But you're my last glimpse of hope
That's why it's so hard to let you go
But I know I have to
I'm going to fail horribly but here is attempt 6 of trying to leave...
Lady Misfortune Oct 2017
Nothing will make the pain go away
I think it's time to move on
Yeah me too
Let's write a poem
Will do
It should be about the internal
What's going on inside?
Tell me what's in your head?
I don't know, there is a storm where everything is red
A storm?
Yeah it's made of sand and it twirls around
Like pretty sparkles on the ground?
No, it swirls and swirls all around me ...
And?
And it doesn't end you think it's fine but you don't understand
That sand is everything I've tried to avoid
Is the sand the void?
A void is not full and this is an occupied place
How so?
It fills me
Then how do you breathe?
I don't breathe I choke and I heave
Gasping for air?
The sand of despair?
Then an army appears
The ones that fight for hope?
The ones that watch me burn in smoke
This imagery is swallowing me
Yep so I keep on thinking I'll keep it to myself
People get tired of sadness wether from within or someone else
The army of bandits whispers beautiful things
But there must be treason set in place
Well of course what other way could it be
Your mind would never be complete without the demons guiding
The red sand blows and as you lie on the ground
The General takes his gun in his hand
He presses the barrel to my head
I think he will pull the trigger
I'll be dead?
Think of all the ****** red
As he squeezes the handle the pressure builds up
I ****** it away and do it myself
But nothing comes out
Over and over again in a never ending cycle I relive this
The death of hope
You let it all go and nothing happens
What's my reason to live?
The fear that consumes me and makes me paranoid like this
My mind is starving and soon I'll become bones
I lie about my mental state and everyone knows
I'm not in denial I know I need help
What prevents me from getting it?
The denial of someone else
The General who held the gun to my head
He said
"Though you think you are weak,
You are nothing near, and your disposition will change
I will place you in a new condition and I won't stop
Until the uncertainty makes your own hand attempt
To **** you again
And then you will know
Nothing ever truly dies
And the tears won't help
But you may still cry
And I think we both know that if you were truly weak
Your hopefulness would never plead
And you wouldn't be here living with me
Cause the bullet would fall through
In full head on collision with you"
As the words were spoke
The blood poured through
I felt as if I had died
But as everything went black the words I heard were
"there is no escape for you"
Lady Misfortune Oct 2017
As I'm sleeping through the night
I'll forget all my dreams
But I can't forget the nightmares of my reality
The eloquence of this frequent pet peeve that's bothering me
You and your fancy words
Your knowledge makes me think
How long before everything goes to my head and it's too foggy to see
How far am I willing to sink
And this water I drink
It will never fill my glass
Cause as the hours pass I get less and less
The emptiness grows
And sand falls from my bones
I'm bound to be overthrown and it's fore-taken
By the demons I'm shaken
This thing that I'm trying to make always falls apart
and each time
It snatches away a spot of hope
That was too dehydrated to ever grow

Protect me from what's haunting me
These shivers,
Use your glitter and make me sparkle again
I don't wanna be different
Cause if we are all different we're the same
You're stuck in your ways, hurting me
So I ask for protection over my heart
As thoughts float through the dark
I mope at the boat that never sailed
And as I exhale you reply
But I've had it with your ways
As I close the door of all care
Your face appears there and I think
I could never really leave such a good thing
Even if it will be the end of me at least you'll know
I'll stay safe in the Icelandic snow
And as you use the epoxy to carve the glitters way, the path will shine through, you'll know it's me and I'll know its you.
Lady Misfortune Oct 2017
I have no motivation to do anything
It's really not showing
I still manage to replicate the perfect student
Romodel human being
They think my mind is on my grades
My mind is set on ending my pain
I'll only fade
I'll only fade
And this time they all know
They just won't give me the help I need
So don't tell me you care about me
Don't even say you know me
If you're trying to tell me you know what I'm feeling
Don't say you know what I'm dealing with
Cause you're not the one who can never sleep
You're not the one shaking cause your wrist is aching for a blade
You're not going to help me so I should drop all hope
I have no reason to live
And the blood drops at my finger tips
Are screaming cave in ....
Lady Misfortune Sep 2017
I still wish not to see you in any way, shape or form
But my heart no longer feels the need to conform
To what I think you want anymore
And the chemicals are sent to my brain saying
"baby girl it's ok"
I've fallen for someone else
And greed is consuming me
I want every single piece
I want everything
But I know what I can't have
There are boundaries
And that is the best thing
We will never be
No need to destroy previous things
Cause love can build you up
And love can tear you down
The best thing is
I'm the only one who can hurt me now
Cause it was never love, It was always lust....
Lady Misfortune Sep 2017
You hurt me
Now you are slipping away
and i'm not blocking your way...
let me bleed
Yeah I'll scream but only for you to remember me
I'm dreading the entire thing
But as dawn turns to dusk
I look to you
And all I see is hollow snow
I'm looking for you but I'm alone
The fortress made me a wanderess
And I can't seem to see
Through the blizzards breeze
You won't choose me
You dummy you're going to leave
Guess it's for the best
I'm just a poisonous peach
I think you've had enough to eat
Just go... leave behind my empty soul...
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