Is it that bad to love someone you can't have
No wonder I'm dressed in all black

The death of my love
I always fall for the lost ones
I attract what I am
And bam it's magical

Were like an explosion of galaxies
And once everything is at peace an asteroid strikes
I tried to hold on but I'm only burned by the light

So gravity pulls us different ways
Floating around in space

Of course I'm dressed in all black
You skin the goat
I'll gut the cat

I want you back
But you are something I can't have

I wish I was inspired instead of tired
I just want to write something beautiful
But no feelings seem to be there
So devoid
Life is putting me in a place where numbing me is better than feeling anything
I'm dead inside and it only gets worse
I'm pessimistic
Rehearsing my smile so that when I go out I don't seem depressed
All I've been is stressed
But then I get empty and start not to care
My innocence tainted
My hope disintegrated
My heart a black void
I don't need love and I don't need that boy
I don't need my friends and I don't need him
I've been all alone persevering
Some how I find it in me to still fake it and no matter how much I hate it it's just apart of routine
I won't stop til everything is in shambles
Is my happiness a lot to gamble
Not really it only last for a second
What is life without risk
My life was never something
No one would notice if I was gone
You just keep moving on
I wish I was inspired instead of tired
I just can't sleep
Can't seem to function as good as I used to
I haven't felt true happiness for some time
I'm starting to forget what the moonlight looks like cause I'm always in darkness
I just want to write something beautiful
But nothing ever seems to be enough
Maybe if instead of being about sadness, if I made it love
It would bring tears to the eye
Maybe instead of being about masks and pretending
If I made it about blue skies and sunshine
Maybe if I made it seem dandy it would spark emotional things
But I don't feel that way
I'd only be writing lies
Can't you see the beauty in darkness like I do?
Maybe, maybe not
Everything isn't as it seems
Golden glitter
It's sparkling
But I don't do arts and crafts
I prefer black ink

I'm too empty to write
Why do I still try?
Dead inside
Staying up till 5 am

Repeat:
Work, eat, sleep
I'm losing me

I'm so tired of living
Seems I'm running on empty
And there's nothing left for me
Not even my distractions are enough

I'm so devoid of feeling
What am I even trying to say
Help me?

I lay in darkness wanting to die
Saying I tried
Yeah... right..

Hang me from a tree
You tell me
What are you reading?

Probably just another sad person
Throw me in a satistic
Just a bunch of numbers on the screen

The government is *******
And if you feel like me
You are too

Depression has found me again
Darkness my old friend
The window let's the light in

I'm hiding
Sleep all day
What a waste
It's just so exhausting to stay awake

I have no obligation to do anything
Is this me giving up?
No... I just needed a break

Nothing will ever be the same
You came just to leave
Want me to trust and believe
It's not an issue I just don't depend

Independence is needed in my life
Otherwise it'd be too obvious that I was never alright

Relapses
Depression has found me again

Take my hand and jump off the bridge
I promise if you burn it
The soil will be rich
And you're toil will finally reap the seed you've planted
And then you won't have to pretend you have a bandage to cover a scar
You got when he saved you from the car
Only to rip out your heart

Because of you there is pain in my heart
I wish I never knew
But because of you
I also know happiness I never want to lose

I'm just not the one you choose
It's partially my fault cause I'm the one that asked you to teach me the mysteries of love

Shaking back in forth holding my knees
On the darkness of my room thinking of you
Somebody help me please my eyes scream
My life the song of heartbreak
And I want it to stop...
I need it to stop
But I can't make it end
Contemplating my decisions
Grampa one day I'll join you in heaven.....



Still have that old ring you bought me
It said love
I remember how my father stepped on it
It still has the dent and to be honest the only reason
I'm not entirely in pieces
Is because as long as I have that ring
We won't be apart and I'll know you're not that far


Does it make me a horrible person I only cried three tears for someone I knew for years
Yet when I lost someone who I only thought loved me
I broke down almost completely
I don't get me
Emotions yet I'm heartless
Please tell me how bad I am
Please just give me a reason to end it
I'm tired of living