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3.3k · Feb 2018
After Midnight
Kurt Philip Behm Feb 2018
After Midnight
The narcissists fall
After Midnight
A new lyric calls

After Midnight
The bugles will blow
After Midnight
There’s more left to know

After Midnight
The lizards collect
After Midnight
All tales to reflect

After Midnight
The ticking won’t stop
After Midnight
The bottom has topped

After Midnight
A cancerous tome
After Midnight
Malignancy known

After Midnight
Betray and deceive
After Midnight
Alone in the siege

After Midnight
All footsteps fall deaf
After Midnight
Last palate uncleft

After Midnight
New story to front
After Midnight
A star for the dunce

After Midnight
The comets rebel
After Midnight
The coroners yell

After Midnight
A suit made of steel
After Midnight
Its melting reveals

After Midnight
The plain and the slack
After Midnight
There’s no turning back

After Midnight
A sacred oath sworn
After Midnight
All memory forlorn

After Midnight
The wheels bend and turn
After Midnight
Lost vision relearns

After Midnight
False birth is stillborn
After Midnight
Old vestments are torn

After Midnight
The here and the now
After Midnight
That one sacred cow

After Midnight
Past-Future unseen
After Midnight
—new eyes that believe

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2015)
3.2k · Jul 2017
Fatherless And Alone
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2017
With every cold defeat
  of the human spirit

The answers move deeper
  within the polar arc

Victim to its wanton roaming
  and endless chill

Questions left to wander
—fatherless and alone

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2013)
2.9k · Feb 2017
A Motorcycle And Leather Bag
Kurt Philip Behm Feb 2017
A motorcycle and leather bag,
  life seemed so perfect then

When everything I cared about…
  my backseat was for them

The world was such a smaller place,
  ideas grandiose

To wander aimlessly I did,
  and never be morose

The road became my staunchest friend,
  new places passing by

Those girls I met, the love I spent,
  the promise in their eyes

That special place my memory held,
  for years now time sets free

A motorcycle—a leather bag,
  and all that was to be

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2017)
2.7k · Nov 2018
Creation Redeemed
Kurt Philip Behm Nov 2018
After Midnight
The narcissists fall
After Midnight
A new lyric calls

After Midnight
Last bugle to blow
After Midnight
There’s more left to know

After Midnight
The lizards collect
After Midnight
Old tales to reflect

After Midnight
The ticking will stop
After Midnight
The bottom will top

After Midnight
A cancerous tome
After Midnight
Malignancy known

After Midnight
Betray and deceive
After Midnight
Alone in the siege

After Midnight
All footsteps fall deaf
After Midnight
Lost palates are cleft

After Midnight
New story to front
After Midnight
Two stars for the dunce

After Midnight
The comets rebel
After Midnight
The coroners yell

After Midnight
A suit made of steel
After Midnight
Its melting reveals

After Midnight
That voice in the back
After Midnight
There’s no turning back

After Midnight
A sacred oath sworn
After Midnight
All memory forlorn

After Midnight
The wheels bend and churn
After Midnight
Lost vision returns

After Midnight
False birth is stillborn
After Midnight
Old vestments are torn

After Midnight
The here and the now
After Midnight
That one sacred cow

After Midnight
Past-Future unseen
After Midnight
  —creation redeemed

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2015)
2.2k · Feb 2017
To My Great Grandchildren
Kurt Philip Behm Feb 2017
To my Grandchildren, those great and beyond,
  whom I will never meet

Know that I love you and have seen you in the
  eyes of your parents when they were very small
  
I’ve heard your voices in the trees, when the
  wind blows softly calling my name as I walk

I’ve seen your arms reaching out to me in my
  dreams, as you cry “Papa" and then drift away

Your spirit is mine, as my spirit is yours; and no
  lifetime can keep us apart

I watch over you now and will watch over you then,
  whenever the need is great

I’m that voice you hear when no one else listens, and 
  no one else understands

And the heart that feels what you will feel, when no
   one else seems to care

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2017)
2.2k · Oct 2018
Blessed To Begin
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2018
Sages and broomsticks
  motherless pearls
Witches that threaten
  fatherless girls
Curse of the ages
  old grudges remain
A coven of stages
  to hide from the rain
The markings of Satan
  the touch of the Lord
A death plated sunset
  and winner forlorn
The trap now a quandary
  and you must break free
As with all soiled laundry
  to burn once deceived
The truth is not distant
  first word never feigned
The peace that you’re seeking
  inside you unclaimed
So let go of the dogma
  the medals will melt
New songs of arrival
  you’ll write most heartfelt
But the moment is now
  and the moment is clear
Once the moment is christened
  new joy spins from fear
To those who still threaten
  with eternity ******…
Say:
        “Away with your blasphemy,
          stop where you stand
        These wings have reopened
          my eyes looking in
        New life has been gifted
          —I’m blessed to begin”

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2014)
2.0k · Apr 2019
A Quantitative Valet
Kurt Philip Behm Apr 2019
Science…
  a handmaiden of knowledge

The upstairs maid
  in a mansion of discovery

Chauffeuring itself
  along roads it has built

A quantitative valet
  —in the closet of the unknown

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2019)
1.9k · Sep 2016
On My Own Terms
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2016
On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Giving and taking,
  both day and night

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Some then mistaken,
  some often right

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Last right of refusal,
  the one holding tight

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The lows though not many,
  the feelings they wrought bright

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Words ever radiant,
  the music so fair

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The sweetness of children,
  my soul they ensnared

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The darkest of moments,
  their message to share

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A voice though unchosen,
  inside me declares

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
As the days grew short,
  and the visitors came

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
Their voices cry out,
  now calling my name

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
One verse was enough,
  no time to explain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
My final breath,
  a lasting refrain

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
The money fleeting,
  any fame now gone

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
A 5-Star boardinghouse,
  no curtains drawn

On my own terms,
  I lived my life
With arms open wide,
  and the peace to move on

On my own terms,
  I ended my life
All that I’ve written,
—turned into song

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2016)
1.8k · Aug 2018
Dragon Fire
Kurt Philip Behm Aug 2018
The progressive death knell sounded
  —one final serpent to mount

With excuses now abandoned
  —the dragon’s fire is out

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)
1.7k · Mar 2017
Gifting Sight
Kurt Philip Behm Mar 2017
There just below the surface,
  more present than you know

A prophetic Jeremiah,
  tracks leading through the snow

His message serves to buttress,
  those standing in the light

A pipeline to eternity,
—his vision gifting sight

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2017)
1.4k · Dec 2016
World War 1
Kurt Philip Behm Dec 2016
The rain stopped,
  the sun was gone

Mercy was in
  short supply

Smoke hung over
  the trenches

A bugler in the mud
  with his cry

Bodies were being
  carted off

New songs were written
  to the dead

Just another day in
  World War 1

That started and ended
  in dread

Villanova Pennsylvania: November, 2014:  
Opening page to my new novel, 'Death From The Sky.'
1.2k · Oct 2016
A Sweetness
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2016
A sweetness comes with age,
  like fruit that’s overripe

A Poet then a Sage,
  on this journey into night

A wish distilled from all regret,
  its seeds to be re-sewn

A sweetness comes with age,
  that buried youth could never know

(Villanova Pennsylvania: October,2016)
1.2k · Aug 2018
Twins Of Siam
Kurt Philip Behm Aug 2018
You stir it one way and they the other,
  but the mixture stays just as hot

You attack their motives and they attack yours,
  while the contents boil and rot

“It needs to be this way”… the other side revolts,
  “Your mind’s faulty with avarice and greed”

The *** has simmered; the broth is thick,
  and its bottom not easy to see

A mutual exclusion, first left then right
  a feast—all soul’s consumed

With spoon or fork, its offering slick
  when the bowls come out at noon

In single file, day turns to night
  pointed talk with nothing said

Both cupboard’s bare, two rat’s within
  guarding their last crust of bread

When the final story is written and told
   of what in concert you destroyed

A drum will beat, zero-sum complete
  leaving you soulless—but still conjoined

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June,2016)
1.2k · Jul 2018
Final Victory
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
Beneath the cover of defeat,
  final victory comes late
  
Sustained only by a will
—refusing to give in

(Villanova Pennsylvania: May, 2016)
1.2k · May 2017
The Last Cut
Kurt Philip Behm May 2017
Life’s ending is short,
  its beginning unknown

The middle is long,
  chasing stone after stone

Memories most vivid,
  from decades ago

Feelings now drifting,
  like wind driven snow

Our seconds tick off,
  as minutes run down

The big picture fades,
  tracks left on the ground

Beginning or ending,
  the next step unclear

The last cut the deepest,
—to suture or sear

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2017)
1.2k · Jul 2018
Ahead, Nothing More
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
Money and wealth
  used to accompany class

Now more often than not,
  it tends toward the crass

There used to be style
  that went along with good luck

Now nouveau riche dogma
  just passes the buck

The internet minions
  and rappers galore

Litter our vision
  as they buy out our stores

This newest gold standard
  obsesses with bling

Their knowledge in tatters
  they read not a thing

All intention is focused
  on numbers that climb

Like lasers, they pierce
  the mercurial dime

But time marches onward
  for rich and for poor

Looking back, a past wasted
  —ahead nothing more

(Villanova Pennsylvania: July, 2018)
1.2k · Sep 2018
Song From The Mountaintop
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2018
The cry of an eagle floats across a distant peak
  bear tracks visible in the spring thawing snow

Sunlight, spreading its dance upon the land
  the Ponderosa Pine and Aspen in bloom

The glaciers look down smiling the higher you climb
  searching for that redemption never offered below

The wolf trails the hare back inside its snowy den
  the road to all new entry having now been cleared

Permission never asked for, granted, as the music starts
  it’s early May in the Rockies—the January of renewal

In a celebration of new life, flowers wrap the landscape like ribbon
  tying close the promises like good wishes on a Christmas morning

It’s springtime even on the highest peak, and old questions lost of meaning now seem gone away...

Until reborn in the arrival of yet another desperate beginning
  —holding nothing back

(Columbia Falls, Montana: September, 2003)
Kurt Philip Behm Nov 2016
The Poet of Las Vegas Boulevard,
steals emotion from the night

Holding a vigil in the darkness,
waiting for the light

The Poet of Las Vegas Boulevard,
among the screams and homeless cries

Making rhyme of what reason has abandoned
—marking time inside the shadow of lies

(Las Vegas Boulevard: January 24, 2016)
1.2k · Dec 2016
Its Orphans Dead
Kurt Philip Behm Dec 2016
The present blocked,
  by words unsaid

The pastures torn,
  its furrows bled

The present blocked,
  by words unsaid

The future cries,
—its orphans dead

(Villanova Pennsylvania: December, 2016)
1.1k · Apr 2017
Inhumanity
Kurt Philip Behm Apr 2017
Man's inhumanity to man,
  knows no country, religion, or race

Man’s inhumanity to man,
  the one shame that all time can’t erase

Man’s inhumanity to man,
  as constant as the spring driven rain

Man’s inhumanity to man,
—rising over and over again

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2017)
1.1k · Aug 2018
New Storms
Kurt Philip Behm Aug 2018
How now the vanishing wind…
  
The days are upon us
  last season begins

All words are regifted
  and placed into song

As time has now shifted
  our last excuse gone

How now the suffering lies…

The light burns immortal
  old visions decry

What’s done long behind us
  new storms call our name

The clouds mark their entry
—the past left to blame

(Villanova Pennsylvania: August, 2018)
1.0k · Dec 2016
Through The Keyhole Darkly
Kurt Philip Behm Dec 2016
Through the keyhole darkly,
he could now remember his name

Through the keyhole darkly,
his medicine kicked in once again

Through the keyhole darkly,
he knew his daughter by her face

Through the keyhole darkly,
he was back at home in his space

Through the keyhole darkly,
his dog was closely by his side

Through the keyhole darkly,
his eyes though saddened, opened wide

Through the keyhole darkly,
her voice unwrapped the precious gift

Through the keyhole darkly,
a love once anchored, set adrift

Through the keyhole darkly,
he felt the light begin to dim

Through the keyhole darkly,
his markers fade, his reference thin

Through the keyhole darkly,
the killer thief arrives once more

Through the keyhole darkly,
  all loss of self—a closing door

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2016)
1.0k · Oct 2018
I Stand Accused
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2018
No more book fairs or tours
  no autographs signed

My words are my gift
  the privacy mine

No talk shows or fetes
  New York Times to eschew

Questions unanswered
  —my thoughts unreviewed

(Villanova Pennsylvania: October, 2018)
1.0k · Apr 2017
Next Station
Kurt Philip Behm Apr 2017
With no advanced ticket,
  I pay as I go

My boarding left open
  still more things to know

The day train a local
  expresses by night

My spirit rolls inward
—next station in sight

(Highpoint North Carolina: April, 2017)
979 · Nov 2016
My Spirit Zero-Sum
Kurt Philip Behm Nov 2016
Am I the Poet that I used to be,
  or the Poet of tomorrow

Am I the Poet of this present moment,
  to own or then to borrow

Am I the Poet that I used to be,
  or the one I will become

Are my words fresh made or from seasons past,
—my spirit zero-sum

(Villanova Pennsylvania: November, 2016)
973 · Sep 2021
Duodenary
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2021
Twelve notes…
that’s all there are
to captivate and swoon

Mozart
and/or Elton John
—July the same as June

(The New Room: September, 2021)
970 · Dec 2018
Left To Brew
Kurt Philip Behm Dec 2018
The daylight hid from the nighttime
  like a rabbit from the fox

As the sun ran through my memory
  freeing moments that were locked

With twilight came a foretelling
  and its darkness swearing true

But a light still burns inside me
—from a promise left to brew

(Villanova Pennsylvania: December, 2018)
966 · Jun 2018
The Devil's Teapot
Kurt Philip Behm Jun 2018
The Devil’s Teapot
—a witches brew

Remembrance poured
  in sorrows true

The Devil’s Teapot
  bone china cracked

New leaks a bane
  in virtue lacks

The Devil’s Teapot
  it fills once more

With pain now forked
  to stir rancor

The Devil’s Teapot
  whose lid seals tight

To curse and scald
  —this endless night

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2016)
950 · Dec 2016
The Liars Fjord
Kurt Philip Behm Dec 2016
A warrior can be an artist,
  but can an artist go to war

Can the craftsman ever breathe the fire,
  that tempered the blade he forged

The warrior-poet, not the poet-warrior,
  the difference in the score

All fury then his words inspire,
—to bridge the liars fjord

(Villanova Pennsylvania: December, 2016)
942 · Jun 2018
Sleeping With The Muse
Kurt Philip Behm Jun 2018
Sleeping with the Muse,
  my nights have grown short

Sleeping with the Muse,
  my spirit comports

Sleeping with the Muse
  words dance with delight

Sleeping with the Muse
  confronting my fright

Sleeping with the Muse
  her will tests again

Sleeping with the Muse
  not lover nor friend

Sleeping with the Muse
  my dreams sacrifice

Sleeping with the Muse
  all rest put on ice

Sleeping with the Muse
  the whispers come clean

Sleeping with the Muse
  excuses demeaned

Sleeping with the Muse,
  my spool is respun

Sleeping with the Muse
  divorced from the sun

Sleeping with the Muse
  in darkness I learn

Sleeping with the Muse
  the day will confirm

Sleeping with the Muse
  till dawn’s freeing light

Sleeping with the Muse
  —new words to take flight

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2016)
937 · Sep 2016
Song From The Mountaintop
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2016
(From My Novel 'Searching For Crazy Horse': Published 2011)

         Columbia Falls, Montana- September, 2003


The cry of an eagle floats across a distant peak
  bear tracks visible in the spring thawing snow

Sunlight, spreading its dance upon the land
  the Ponderosa Pine and Aspen all in bloom

The glaciers look down smiling the higher you climb
  searching for that redemption never offered below

The wolf trails the hare back inside its snowy den
  the road to all new entry having now been cleared

Permission never asked for, granted, as the music starts
  it’s early May in the Rockies—the January of renewal

In a celebration of new life, flowers wrap the landscape like ribbon,
  tying close the promises like good wishes on a Christmas morning

It’s springtime even on the highest peak, and old questions lost of meaning
  now seem gone away...

Until reborn in the arrival of yet another desperate beginning,
  —holding nothing back
916 · Sep 2018
Smokescreen
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2018
“Commercially Successful”
   —the metaphysical oxymoron

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)
909 · Jan 2019
Just A Writer
Kurt Philip Behm Jan 2019
Not a professional writer
Not a commercial writer
Not an academic writer
    —of tomes

Not a writer of poetry
Not a writer of prose
Not a writer of colloquy
   —heaven knows

Not a writer of fiction
Not a writer of fact
Not for comic depiction
    —do my words then attack

Not a writer in residence
Not a writer then banned
Not a writer of circumstance
    —just a writer, I am

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2015)
905 · Sep 2016
Sleep Well My Love, Goodbye
Kurt Philip Behm Sep 2016
At the far end of the casket,
  his girlfriend hugged his wife

And told her she was sorry,
  that she had tried to steal her life

Their tears then ran in unison,
  for one who loved them both

The years they shared now testament,
  to a choice he left unspoke

They never met before this day,
  and would never meet again

But each knew well the other,
and they almost felt like friends

The mistress left, the children wept,
  and the grandchildren played outside

As his wife looked down, saying “your hell has passed,
—sleep well my love, goodbye”

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2016)
890 · Aug 2018
His Destiny Wed
Kurt Philip Behm Aug 2018
In the song of the antelope,
  the Prince heard his Queen

Now locked in a convent,
  her beauty unseen

The tower still distant,
  its ramparts on guard

Just one point of entry,
  a hero’s reward

The mist in the valley,
  her prison unseen

Through clouds in the distance,
  her pleadings, her screams
  
The miles before him,
  twin antlers ahead

His future unfolding
  —his destiny wed

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)
884 · Aug 2018
Transcendental Lullaby
Kurt Philip Behm Aug 2018
I’ve now started to dream
  while being awake

Sleep no longer needed
  to open the gate

The visions come clearly
  the music I hear

My mind surrenders
  looking back on the years

I’m fully aware
  but entranced when they come

The words of my Fathers…
  the beat of a drum

My eyes partly close
  as the chanting begins

My spirit reclaimed
  —from the darkness within

(Villanova Pennsylvania: August, 2018)
862 · Jul 2018
The Double Edge
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
Cowardice and bravery
Not either/or
But different levels of…

Valor and shame
A swinging door
Whose facings change when swung

A foil to confound
The poets dream
With glory and disdain

Bravery and cowardice
Not zero-sum
—but often look the same

(Villanova Pennsylvania: May, 2016)
857 · Oct 2016
Symbiotic Abound
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2016
Poetry in its essence,
—renders itself obsolete

Transporting the reader,
  beyond words though profound

Casting off its burden
  of expressive supplication

Pure thought and pure feeling,
—symbiotic abound

(Villanova Pennsylvania: October, 2016)
856 · Oct 2018
Our Heritage Dies
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2018
We’re losing America
  while losing our minds

Our spirits in hiding
  our souls hard to find

The nation in freefall
  all fingers to point

One side at the other
  common values disjoint

We’re losing America
  in front of our eyes

A narcissists poison
  our heritage dies

Each part is now greater
  than the sum or the whole

What our patriots died for
—lay forgotten untold

(Villanova Pennsylvania: October, 2018)
848 · Mar 2017
Indifference
Kurt Philip Behm Mar 2017
To inflict on tomorrow,
the empty promises of fate

The will to reign indifferent,  
—the devil's cruelest form of hate

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2017)
847 · Apr 2020
Ames — 1967
Kurt Philip Behm Apr 2020
The country was turbulent on TV,
but not in Iowa

The ‘Times Were A Changing’ for most to see,
but not in Iowa

There was more to sound than snippets or bites,
back then in Iowa

Each voice was heard when spoken and free,
back then in Iowa

The kindling burned in most other states,
but not in Iowa

Ideals were being traded, their price was blood,
but not in Iowa

The generations still talked and listened together,
back then in Iowa

The world made more sense away from the madness
—back then in Iowa

(Dennison Iowa: June, 1980)
844 · Oct 2021
Mourning Dove
Kurt Philip Behm Oct 2021
The music of passion…
it comes from within
Untouched by tomorrow,
it lives to begin

In corners of darkness,
through fits of despair
It waits like a songbird
—to sing out a prayer

(Dreamsleep: October, 2021)
833 · Nov 2023
Minstrel Sage
Kurt Philip Behm Nov 2023
Were you invited
into Zion
Or have a ticket
in advance
Have the doors
for you reopened
Is your history
fit to chant
The torches glow
in sequence
When you make your
entry plain
A hymn sung by
a minstrel Sage
Your welcoming
—refrain

(1st Book Of Prayers: November, 2023)
815 · Feb 2019
If
Kurt Philip Behm Feb 2019
If
If we were young men,
  if we were strong

If we had fresh words,
  to add to our song

If we were soldiers,
  with war in our veins

If we were poets,
  our voices reclaimed

If we were lovers,
  of women that cried

If we went wandering,
  our heart’s reapplied

If we were statesmen,
  the world in our grasp

If we were sailors,
  the wind at our backs

If we were farmers,
  with meadows so green

If we were actors,
  on stages supreme

If we were hunters,
  new wolf on the prowl

If we were dreamers,
  all wishes allowed

If we were young men,
  still facing the sun

But alas, we are old
  —and darkness has come

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2016)
807 · Jul 2018
Hearts To Fill
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
Love yourself first
  before someone else will

Feelings vested, spirit rhymed
  attraction distilled

Love yourself first
  before someone else will

Your beauty self-reflected
—another’s heart to fill

(Villanova Pennsylvania: July, 2018)
793 · Jun 2017
All Scepters Disowned
Kurt Philip Behm Jun 2017
I don’t bow to money,
  I don’t bow to fame

I kneel to that one thing,
  that time cannot change

I don’t speak for right,
  and won’t speak for wrong

My liege is the truth,
  all court jesters gone

I don’t hope to be knighted,
  my shield more concave

And rejecting all title,
  the past still enslaved

My will lay unbroken,
  my heart for a throne

A crown jeweled with memory
—all scepters disowned

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2017)
789 · Jul 2018
New Heartbeats
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
To die without rhythm
  and bleed without rhyme

Each wish left unspoken
  in coupling divine

New heartbeats unwritten
  that call from within

Their cadence restructured
  all verse—now a hymn

(Villanova Pennsylvania: May, 2016 )
785 · Mar 2019
Lost Candle Of Time
Kurt Philip Behm Mar 2019
Can time survive in purer form
  devoid of reference
  future—past

Can the present become
  a bible
  for every sage

Like a black hole
  compressing within itself
  imploding front to back

Its enigma leads
  to an eternity dark
    —lost candle to the flame

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2019)
781 · Jul 2018
Far Better (Blues Poem #18)
Kurt Philip Behm Jul 2018
It’s better to let her…
  keep those fancy shoes and bags
  if she comes to bed each night

It’s better to let her…
  have the house worn and ragged
  if the trim stays fresh and light

It’s better to let her…
  whine and constantly bemoan
  if she smells like summer rain

It’s better to let her…
  cash the checks you bring home
   —if she’ll whisper those words again

(Villanova Pennsylvania: July, 2018)
780 · Apr 26
DAAAAD !!! (unedited)
My Heart Was Saying One Thing, My Mind Another ...

Some things you just know — like the feeling I get when looking at my children or the way I felt the first time I looked into the Grand Canyon. Some experiences are too strong for reason or words. There are some things, that even though they defy all conventional wisdom in your heart and your mind — you just know.

Never dying on a motorcycle is one of those things. I can’t explain it rationally, it’s just something that I’ve always known. It’s a feeling that has been deep inside of me since I first threw my right leg over the seat of that old powder blue moped. I knew I was never going to die as the result of a motorcycle crash. In many ways, I feel safest when I’m back on two-wheels and headed for points previously unknown.

Lately Though, I’ve Been Made To Feel Differently

I now had my daughter on the back of the bike with me. I’ve started to wonder whether my premonition covers just me, or does it also protect all who ride as co-pilot and passenger? Would the same Gods of 2-wheeled travel, who have watched over me for so long, also extend their protection to those I love and now share my adventures with?

Our flight from Philadelphia had arrived in Idaho Falls five days ago. We hurried to the dealership, picked up our beloved Yamaha Venture Royale, and then began our quest of another ten-day odyssey through the Rocky Mountain West. This was Melissa’s third tour with her dad, and we both shared the intense excitement of not knowing what the next week would hold. We had no specific destination or itinerary. This week would be more important than that. Just by casting our fate into the winds that blew across the eastern slopes of the great Rocky Mountains, we knew that all destinations would then be secure.

Then We Almost Hit Our First Deer

Three days ago, just South of Dupoyer Montana, two doe’s and a fawn appeared out of nowhere on the road directly in front of us. Melissa never saw them as I grabbed ******* the front brake. The front brake provides 80-90% of all stopping power on a motorcycle but also causes the greatest loss of control if you freeze up the front wheel. As the front wheel locked, the bike’s back tire swerved right and we moved violently into the left oncoming lane just narrowly missing the three deer.

They Never Moved

The old axiom that goes … Head right for the deer, because they won’t be there when you get there, wouldn’t have worked today. They just watched us go by as if it happened to them every day. Judging by the number of dead deer we had seen along highway #89 coming South, it probably did.

Strike One!

We pulled into Great Falls for the night and over dinner relived again how close we had actually come — so close to it all being over. Collisions with deer are tragic enough in a car or SUV, but on a motorcycle usually only one of the unfortunate participants gets up and walks away — and that’s almost always the deer. The rider is normally a statistic. We thanked the Gods of the highway for protecting us this day, and after a short walk around town we went back to the motel for a good (and thankful) night’s sleep.

The next morning was another one of those idyllic Rocky Mountain days. The skies were clear, there was no humidity, and the temperature was in the low 60’s with a horizon that stretched beyond forever. If we were ever to forget the reason why we do these trips just the memory of this morning would be enough to drive that amnesia away forever. We had breakfast at the 5th Street Diner, put our fleece vests on under our riding jackets, and headed South again.

We had a short ride to Bozeman today, and my daughter was especially excited. It was one of her all-time favorite western towns. It was western for sure, but also a college town. Being the home of Montana State University, and she being a college student herself, she felt particularly at home there. I loved it too.

We stopped mid-morning for coffee and took off our fleece vests. As I opened the travel trunk in the rear to put the vests away, I noticed that two screws had fallen out of the trunk lid. These were the screws that secured the top lid to the bottom or base of the trunk. I had to fix this pretty quickly, or we were liable to have the top blow off from the strong winds as we made our way down the road. We spent most of that afternoon at Ackley Lake, in the Lewis and Clark National Forest, before continuing South on Rt #89 towards Bozeman. I was still worried about the lid falling off and was using a big piece of duct tape as a temporary fix.

It was about 5:45 p.m. when we entered the small Montana town of White Sulphur Springs. They had a NAPA automotive store and by luck it was still open until six. I rushed inside and found the exact size screws that I needed. Melissa then watched me do my best ‘shade tree mechanic’ impersonation. I replaced the two missing screws while the bike was sitting in the parking lot to the left of the store. We then had fruit drinks, split a tuna salad sandwich from the café across the street, and were again on our way.

The sun was just starting to descend behind the mountains to our west, and we both agreed that this was truly the most beautiful time of day to ride. We were barely a mile out of town when I heard my daughter scream …

DAAAAAD !!!

At that moment, I felt the back of the bike move as if someone had their hand on just the rear tire and was shaking it back and forth. Then I saw it. An elk had just come out of the creek bed below, and to our right, and had misjudged how long it would take us to pass by. It darted across the highway a half second too soon brushing the back of the bike with its right shoulder and almost causing us to fall.

This time my daughter saw it coming before I did, and I’ll never forget the sound of her voice coming across the bike’s intercom at a decibel level I had never heard from her before. She is normally very calm and reserved.

We had actually made contact with the elk and stayed upright. If it had happened in front of the bike, we wouldn’t have had a chance. Thank God, with over forty years of experience and some luck, I didn’t lock up the front brake this time. That would have caused us to lose control of the front tire and as we had already lost control of the one in the back, it would have almost guaranteed a crash to our left.

Strike Two!

We rode slowly the rest of the way to Bozeman. We convinced each other that two near misses in less than a week would be enough for five more years of riding based on the odds. At the Best Western Motel in Bozeman, we unloaded the bike and went to my daughter’s favorite restaurant for Hummus. As the waitress took our order and then left, Melissa stared at me across the table with a very serious look in her eyes. “Dad, I don’t think we should ride anymore after about four o’clock in the afternoon. The animals all seem to drink twice a day, (the roads following the rivers and streams), and it’s early in the morning and later in the evening when we’re most at risk.” I said I agreed, and we made a pact to not leave before 9:30 in the morning and to be off the road by 4:00 in the afternoon.

This meant we wouldn’t be riding during our favorite part of the day which was dusk, but safety came first, and we would try as hard as we could to live within our new schedule. Our next stop tomorrow would be Gardiner Montana which was the small river town right at the North entrance (Mammoth Hot Springs) to Yellowstone National Park. There were colder temperatures, and possibly snow, in the forecast, so we put our fleece vests back on before leaving Bozeman. At 9:30 a.m. we were again headed South on Rt. #89 through Paradise Valley.

After a few stops to hike and sightsee, we arrived in Gardiner at 4:10, only a few minutes beyond our new maxim. It had already started to snow. It was early June, and as all regular visitors to Yellowstone know, it can snow in the park any of the 365 days of the year. We hoped it wouldn’t last. There was not much to do in Gardiner and as beautiful as it was here, we wanted to try and get to West Yellowstone if we were going to be stuck in the snow. We had dinner at the K-Bar Café and were in bed at the motel by the bridge before nine. All through the night, the snow continued to fall intermittently as the temperature dropped.

When we awoke the next morning, the snow had stopped but not before depositing a good two to three inches on the ground. The town plow had cleared the road, and the weather forecast for southern Montana said temperatures would reach into the high 40’s by mid-afternoon. The Venture was totally covered in snow and seemed to be protesting what I was about to ask it to do. I cleaned the snow off the bike and rode slowly across the street and filled it up with gas. I then came back to the motel, loaded our bags, and Melissa got on the bike behind me.

“Are we gonna be alright in the snow, Dad?” she asked. As I told her we’d be fine if it didn’t get any worse than it was right now, I had the ******* crossed on my left hand that was controlling the clutch.

We swung around the long loop through Gardiner, went through the Great Arch that Teddy Roosevelt built honoring our first National Park, and entered Yellowstone. As we approached the guard shack to buy our pass, the female park ranger said, “You’re going where? There’s four inches of snow at the top. We plowed it an hour ago, but you never know how it’s going to be until you get over it.”

‘OVER IT,’ is where we were headed, and then down toward the Madison River where we would turn right and continue on to West Yellowstone. Even though the Park is almost 100% within the state of Wyoming, two of its entrances (North and West) sit right inside the border of the great state of Montana.

“If you keep it slow and watch your brakes, you’ll probably be fine.” “Two Harley riders came through an hour ago, and I haven’t heard anything bad about them. They were headed straight to Fishing Bridge and then to the Lodge at Old Faithful.” “Well, If the Harleys can make it we certainly can” I told my daughter, as we paid the $20.00 fee and headed up the sloping, and partially snow-covered, mountain.

We made it over the top which was less than a ten-mile ride headed South through the park. This part of the trip didn’t require braking and would be easier than the descent on the backside of the mountain. As we started our way down, I noticed the road was starting to clear. Within ten minutes, the asphalt on this side of the mountain was totally dry and our confidence rose with each bend of the road. It was just then that my daughter said, “Dad, I need to stop, can you find me a restroom?” A restroom in Yellowstone, not the easiest thing to find. If I did find one, at best it would be a government issue outhouse, but I told her I’d try. “Please hurry, Dad,” Melissa said.

In another mile, there was a covered ‘lookout’ with three port-a-potties off to the right. I pulled over quickly, and my daughter headed to the closest one on the left. I then walked over to the observation stand and looked out to the East towards Cody. As most Yellowstone vistas, the beauty was beyond description, but something wasn’t quite right, and …

Something Felt Strange

I looked off in the distance at Mt. Washburn. The grand old mountain stood majestic at almost 10,000 feet, and with its snow-capped peak, it looked just like the picture postcards of itself that they sold in the lodge. I still felt strange.

Then I Understood Why

As I looked off to my right to walk back to the bike, I saw it.

Standing to the left of my motorcycle, and less than thirty yards in front of me, was the biggest silver and black coyote I had even seen. Many Park visitors mistake these larger coyotes for wolves, and this guy was looking straight at me with his head down. As I walked slowly back to the bike, he never took his eyes off me with only his head moving to follow my travel. I got to the bike and wondered if I should shout to my daughter. I knew if I did, it would probably scare the Coyote away, and this was shaping up to be another of those seminal Yellowstone moments. I wanted to see what would happen next.

I slowly opened the trunk lid on the back of the bike. We always carried two things in addition to water — and that was fig-newtons and beef jerky. The reasoning was, that no matter what happened, with those three staples we could make it through almost anything. I took a big piece of beef jerky out of the pouch and showed it to the hungry Coyote. His head immediately rose up and he pointed his nose in the air while taking in the aroma of something that he had probably never smelled before.

I don’t normally feed any of the animals in Yellowstone, but this encounter seemed different. This animal was trying to make contact and on instinct alone I reacted. As I walked slowly to the front of the bike, I ripped off a small piece of the beef jerky and threw it to the coyote. He immediately jumped backwards (coyotes are prone to jumping) while keeping his head and eyes focused on me. He then took two steps forward, sniffed the processed beef, picked it up in his jaws, and in one swallow it was gone. He now looked at me again.

This Time I Was Two-Steps Closer

He was now less than fifteen feet away with his head once again down. He was showing no signs of aggressive behavior, and as I still had my helmet and riding suit on, I felt like I was in no danger. I didn’t think a fifty-pound coyote could bite through Kevlar and fiberglass, and I was starting to feel a strange connection with this animal that was getting a little closer all the time. I threw him another piece.

Was It About The Beef Jerky, Or Was It Something More?

Again, he took two steps forward to retrieve the snack and then raised his eyes up to look at me. At this close range I started questioning myself. What if it is a Wolf I asked, and then once again I looked at his tail. Nope, it’s a Coyote, I convinced myself, as I held my ground and continued to extend my hand out in the direction of my new friend. This time he didn’t move. It was now my turn. I was down on both knees in the leftover snow from last night and started to inch my way forward by sliding one knee in his direction and then the other. He took a small step back.

I then started to talk to him in a low and hushed tone. He moved one step closer. The beef jerky at the end of my hand was now less than five feet from his mouth. We stayed in this position for the longest time until I heard a loud “DAD!!!” coming from the direction of the port-a-potties. My daughter was finished and saw me kneeling down in front of the ‘Wolf.’

When she screamed, the Coyote bounded (jumped) again and ran off in the opposite direction (East) from where I was kneeling. He ran about fifty yards and then turned around to take one more look at me. He then slowly entered the tree line that bordered the left side of the road up ahead.

“Dad, what were you doing?” my daughter asked. “Do you think you’re Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves?” I laughed and said no, “just trying to communicate with a new friend.” My daughter continued to shake her head in my direction as she put on her helmet. I started the bike, put it in gear, and we headed again South down the park mountain road.

We had gone less than a quarter of a mile when something darted right out in front of the bike. It was that same Coyote that I had tried to feed just minutes before. He was about twenty yards in front of me and thank God I didn’t have to do any fancy maneuvering to miss him. I didn’t even have to use the brakes.

Still, this was now three encounters in less than a week. Or was it three? I convinced myself that running over a Coyote wouldn’t have been fatal. Painful maybe, but we would have survived it.

Strike Two And A Half!

We couldn’t help but laugh as we wondered if the Coyote had done it on purpose. Was he trying to scare us for not leaving the rest of the beef jerky or just saying goodbye? We’d never know for sure, but I wanted to believe that the latter was true. I will always wonder about how close he may have come.

As we got to the bottom of the long mountain descent, the sign announcing the Madison River and the road to West Yellowstone came up on the right. We made the turn and then spent what seemed like forever marveling at the beauty of the Madison River. It looked like an easy ride into West Yellowstone until it started to snow again. We crested a large hill with only ten miles left to go. At the bottom of the hill was what looked like a lake covering the entire road. The bottom of the road where the hill ended was lower than the surrounding ground and was acting like a reservoir for the melting snow from the hills that surrounded it.

This Low Spot Was Right In The Middle Of The Road

We approached slowly and stopped to survey the approaching water. We needed to decide the right thing to do next. The yellow line that divided the road was barely visible through the water, and we both guessed that it couldn’t be more than twelve to fourteen inches deep. I decided guessing wasn’t good enough and put the kickstand down on the bike. Melissa held the clutch in to allow the motor to keep idling. I then walked into the water in my waterproof riding boots. The boots were over sixteen inches high. “Yep, no more than six or eight inches,” I yelled back to Melissa. “It just looks deeper. If we go slow, we’ll be fine to go through.”

I walked back, got on the bike, and retracted the kickstand and then put it in first gear. Just as I started to approach the pool, I noticed a huge shadow to my right. Two large Moose were standing just off the apron on the right side of the road. It looked like they either wanted to cross the flooded asphalt, or drink, as they stood less than twenty-five feet away from where we now were. Every time I moved closer to the water, they did the same thing. Three times we did this, and a Broadway choreographer couldn’t have scripted it better. The two Moose moved in concert with our timing getting closer to not only the water, but to us, each time we moved.

Moose, like Grizzly’s, have no real natural enemies except man, and unlike all other members of the deer family, they have a perpetually bad disposition. They seem to be permanently in a bad mood and are not to be trifled with or approached. Even the great Grizzly gives the Moose a wide berth. I stopped the bike again unsure of what to do next.

It Was A True Mexican Standoff In The Woods Of Wyoming

“Melissa then said, “Dad; Let’s try banging on the tank and blowing the horn like we do with Buffalo. Maybe then they’ll cross in front of us, and we can get outta here.” I thought it was a good idea and worth a try. I again put the kickstand down and told Melissa that if they charged us not to run but to get down low beneath the left side of the bike. That way, the Venture would hopefully take the brunt of their charge. I started banging on the tank, as I pushed the horn button with my other hand …

Nothing, Nada!

Both Moose just held their ground stoically looking at the water. It was a true ‘Mexican standoff,’ where we were Speedy Gonzalez faced off against the great Montezuma. No matter how much noise we made, the Moose never budged an inch. After fifteen minutes of this, we decided to go for it. I put the bike back into gear, and going faster than I normally would, I entered the reservoir on top of the still visible yellow line. With a rooster tail of water shooting out from behind the bike over twenty-feet long, we crossed the flooded road.

Once across, we went fifty yards past the water and then stopped to look back. Both Moose had turned around and were headed back into the woods from where they had come. They either had no more interest in traversing the water or had been playing with us making our crossing difficult, while at the same time memorable, and another great story to tell.

Strike Three!

We pulled into West Yellowstone, and the snow was coming down in blizzard like sheets. We spent the next two days touring the shops and museums and even visited the Grizzly Bear ‘Habitat,’ which neither of us will ever do again. Grizzly Bears belong in the wild and not in some enclosure to be gawked at by accidental tourists. We also talked about our past four days ‘communing’ with the animals. We both agreed that we had been lucky and that we would continue to live within our 9:30 to 4:00 schedule as we continued our trip.

I lay in bed that night both thankful and in wonder of all that had happened. I thought about the deer, elk, coyote, and moose that had crossed over into our world. As hair-raising as it had been at the time, I wouldn’t have a changed a thing. I also thought about my over forty years of motorcycle riding. It was just then that a familiar maxim was once again forefront in my mind — as well as my heart. I repeated the familiar words over to myself as I slowly drifted off to sleep …

“When I Die, It Will Never Be On A Motorcycle”
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