His father was a tool maker
and make a tool he did.
Labour they say but that's
something he don't know what is.

A lawyer, real QC, more like the real GC;
at least she's got a personality of her own,
But he's more boring
than a white porcelain throne.

Yes yes, we'll build you
some new homes.
But want some heating?
Well then you're out on your own.

Perhaps it's wrong for me
to sit here and moan,
when the alternatives a bloke
who's got a fear of boats.

Worse yet, he don't want them to float;
Drown they shout, drown them all out.
From their countries they've flown,
so why not give a dog a freaking bone?

Worried about the nation’s health?
Well, loan the cost from your personal wealth.
Ex-banker they say, but
****** he stays.

The son of a tool maker or the sum of a lifetime faker.
The UK's respect on the world stage?
Pfft.
See ya later.

Aren't I forgetting someone?
Someone who don't have gaffs?
Yeah right, she's got more than
a pole with a large iron hook attached.

One squatting in number 10,
The other's not in Clacton
and her thoughts, philosophies
and ideas are sorely out of action.