A computer
rested
for that moment
as a man
wrote on paper
about the lone
cigarette ****
in the ceramic ashtray.

This is the place
where, as the poet said,
"All is desert"
and I am deserted
so it is where
I am sitting in a chair
listening to a ticking clock
and I crave
some action
like I thought
I used to have
and the phone rings
so my heart rises
only to sink
as it is a charity
wanting my money,
but here comes the surprise -
boredom is the transcendent thing
that is the empty life
of peace
that is so beautiful,
so as I am sitting here
in this lighted desert
I remember.

So I broke my nose
in high school,
and I didn't get it
fixed,
so that meant
that the air
through my nose
only went
to the left side
of my head,
and that meant
that the chi energized
my left brain,
but my right brain
was completely unenergized,
so in my travels
of learning,
I found out about
a brain balancer
which is
to put my index fingers
of both my hands
gently
right in front of
my two earlobes
and then
meditate,
breathing through
the mouth,
instead of the nose,
and I push,
gently,
on the exhale,
and I have
a great mantra
which I sing inside
as a little song,
and the first time
that I tried it,
the whole brain
opened up,
and I felt
much better.

My dad said break a leg.
If any of you have
a broken leg, don't believe.
Visited our healing
in the fact of dad's acting
center. Body/works in you.
A neighbor had a broken leg,
are likely to know my
old house and my dad. So,
wife, if you have been in
like I thought, but it
recently, you are also
not in, but his wife is out.
Likely, to know she tore
some poems of mine, but I
ligaments in her ankle.

So it went
like this -
she said,
"My therapist
thinks we
should break up."
and I replied,
"Yeah,
my psychiatrist
says that we
should break up, too."
so soon after,
we broke up.
It was like
Woody Allen
and Diane Keaton.
I didn't know
that such comedies
could actually
be real.
The way
that it appears
in my memory
is something
that isn't exactly real.
That's life!
(I think...).

Things just as they are
as I walk on the sidewalk
thinking about fearing people
and loving them
when the morning sun
caused my eyes to look down.

We are in space,
aliens, like the rest
of all being.

This morning, at night,
the mind was ranting
about how I was lousy
at art and such a loser,
so I said that I
am not interested
in success,
I only want
to do.
The mind then shut up
and I got busy.
Keep in mind
that the mind is tricky
and hard to understand,
since it is Buddha.

From last year's
early-season showing
surprising to some
not to veteran
you really never
good you are
into a new
now we are
want to be
lost a good
the girls we
have been able
holes pretty well
we've made some
to make up
we've lost.

Green candle     on the altar
for the Buddha,      Dharma, Sangha

Flickering     the fire shines
golden light rays     on brown table

Candle glows     bought at hardware store
and on sale!     so that's life

So how might our nation
give more global warming?
Watch your world as to
what is wrong, then they
might not approve. What
is wrong? Such a person
more profound is to judge
awakened consciousness
when he freed no thing
very good. Rather than
events, give more than
the universe. Knowing
versus wants and nurture
the energy. These are
not normal times. Events
are happening like always.

I give to charity.
Some people out there need food.
The charities send me messages begging for money.
The messages seem to be getting more extravagantly made.
It seems to me that the charities are getter richer.
They are begging more and more.
I give to charity.
Sometimes I don't.

Unseen,
together giving.

I danced the seven animals.
Then I danced them backwards.
We are all deluded about the nature of life.
It may be written, it may be being written.
I saw the Great Mountain.
The dead have never left us.
Johnny Carson was on television tonight.

I open the little box
which contains
two small cubes
of instant tea stuff
and heat the teapot
until it makes a continuous buzz
and I drop in a tea cube
in my black and white tea mug
pour in the hot water
and watch as bubbles rise to the top
stir it up
take it over to the sofa
where I sit and sip
my sweet Chinese tea.

Life or their for for
what thing is no
transpiring or in one
the no world blame
they would know experiences
it life is their up of
to creator them the
to as to power change
their their claim
thoughts would when
person they a do such
their blame life no
will is change there
accordingly.

We clean
and then it
gets *****
so we clean
and then it
gets *****
and we get sick
and then
we get well
and we even get drunk
and then
we get sober
so we clean
and then it
gets *****
and for better
and for worse
we are married
to this cycle of life
so let's all try
to stay in love
and enjoy eternity.

There is only one door
to the world
and it is always open
so come in
with your eyes
and focus
on the big everything
which this is
and it is also
just your plain old
everyday life.

So, I have been hacked
completely,
by somebody
and so I think,
"Well, I don't have
anything in here,
so, who cares?"
and since,
I am always looking
for a bigger audience
to read my stuff,
I think,
"Great, I've got some
wonderful criminal
or something
reading me!"
so I am completely hacked
right down to the source,
so I think,
"Excellent!",
but I might
go get my computer fixed
because the other people
in my little network
probably don't like him,
so, we'll see
maybe I'll just say,
"Honk it!
I'm in love!"

I have, on my computer,
two sound generating devices
which I meditate on
for healing reasons
and I am on
a Dharma network
which has photographs
of Yantras, which are those
geometrical designs
that I meditate on
for healing reasons
and I don't know
if I am healed by these things
or not
but it sure is a trip!

Two of my Zen friends
who, at the time,
I thought were some kind
of Zen enemies,
seemed to condemn me
to a soap opera
of eternal cookies
and the sound of lawnmowers,
and it took me
forty-some years
to understand this koan,
and the suburban heaven
that I was condemned to,
where instead of a life
in the forest
with snakes and mosquitos,
or a life in the city
with rats and roaches,
I was given
a life in this quiet, rich suburb
with an air-conditioned summer
and a toasty warm winter,
so that surrealistic understanding
of cookie and lawnmower hell,
turned into everyday Nirvana.

Miles Davis was cool
and sort of invented the word
so when I was young
we all said this word
and I found out
that the next generation
says this word too
so I was angry today
because I thought
I was pathetic
when it dawned on me
that I was a cool guy
just like all my old friends
were cool guys and girls
so I thought about it
and decided that everybody
in my life
was pretty cool
so I thought
"I don't know if everybody
has the Buddha nature
like they say,
but I do know
that everybody
has the cool nature
to some degree"
so I felt better.

This little room
is in a house
in a quiet suburb
of a large city
and I know
there are many,
many little rooms
which are like this
and unlike this
all over.
It has yellow walls.

It's very freeing
to do a morning dance
for the Buddhas
and Bodhisattvas
while wearing
a little black dress.

I wear crystals
and a large man
said he liked my rock
then he told me
that it was sedimentary
and millions of years old
so I wondered
if I was wearing it
or it was wearing me.

Coffee stain     on a white cup
painted with black     for fine art's sake

goes walking     within my hands
to the bathroom     for a cleaning.

"Wash your cup!"     the zen master said
and the student     broke on through.

Small wine cup
is empty.

A friend once wrote
that my soap opera
was the sound
of a lawnmower
and he seems
to be right,
right now,
as I listen to one
growling outside.

Summer wind turning
the daisies in all motions
in the dance of days.

Coming out
into a white room
I am held
upside-down
and spanked
as my mother
lies drugged
as if she
were dead
like I thought.

A bodhisattva
lives here
on the computer,
along with many more,
and they often
write poetry,
because their hearts
are ****** with pain,
because we all know
that their path
is impossible,
and no one
will be saved,
but they keep trying
and never give up,
because their hearts
are pure,
so I would tell them
not to watch TV,
because saving the world
requires
that we save ourselves,
because once
the man is saved,
the world is saved,
so be peace,
and peace will spread
like ripples.

I was in an interview
with a Zen master,
who demonstrated
his practice,
and his breathing
was so deep and long
that I thought
I couldn't possibly keep up,
so I tried
and succeeded
one time
and ran completely out
of breath,
so he told me
to practice strongly,
and I did
for years,
trying harder and harder
to get that deep kind
of breath,
until I finally realized
that actually,
for me,
a little breath,
a small gentle kind
of breathing
is much better
for me,
so I decided
to go with that,
and said,
"**** the Zen master."

So this morning
I was tired
and passing out
on the chair
so I decided
as a good Buddhist
to wake up
and defeat sleepiness
so I went
out to the patio
where it was cool
and meditated
dropping off occasionally
until at last
after much trying
I defeated sleep
and woke up
and Buddha has said
that sleep is the closest thing
to death.

So, lighting up a cigarette
I expound on a blinking eye
that goes on and off
like this computer
and everything.

So, the last happy smoker
takes another puff
from his incense
that is considered weaponry
by many
and delights in the defiling
and healing power of smoke.

I had predicted
did not realize that
not remember or
things they did
recommend highly and heard
which I
taped psychic session
listened to the
this when they
accurate they realized
future predictions were
me that my
report to
of my clients
70%.

I have been a professional
many people are so focused,
why not 100% accuracy
think about it this way,
psychic for more than
on the reading and what
you may ask? Well, that's
if you trusted your little
35 years, and have more
they think they want to
very simple - because future
voice or gut feelings, you
than 70% of my clients
hear, that they don't always
predictions can change -
most likely made good

I am a student of Dharma
and all Dharmas are empty
so I am a student
of Dharma
with an altar at home
upstairs
and an altar at home
in the basement
so this house
has become
like a temple
that has
several smoking sections.

I just go beboping around
happily
until I come
to a dharma gate
which is an obstacle
that can be inside
or it can be outside
and I think
the purpose
of these gates
is to test
us practitioners
to see if we
can continue on,
so this morning
I came to a big, nasty
dharma gate
put there inside
by a pretty lady
and as I have discovered
along the path
the only way
to get through
one of these doors
is with love.

Jumping into the gorge
with a weird bird overhead
the word pop is written in the sky
as the black fairy princess bows.

I was sitting
on the patio
when I intended
to meditate
in a certain way
that I do,
when the mind
spoke up
and suggested
that it might be dangerous
and that I should do something else
and I remembered
what John Cage
told me
about doing what he didn't intend
so after a bit of indecision
I decided to do
what mind told me to do
and that's why I'm here.

John Cage once told me that a crossroads was where he came to where he had to do a decision about whether to go in the direction of what he intended or in the direction of what he didn't intend and that he decided to go in the direction of what he didn't intend.
I was going to have great northern beans.
I instead ate kidney beans.
The not-doing of this doing that I am doing is always present.
See, I am resting while I am not resting.

The in-breath is creation
and the out-breath is destruction
and so it goes like a blinking eye
in a circle
like a kid building something
and then wrecking it
and it's not vicious
it's just a circle
like the seasons
so don't get upset
with nature.

Buddha tells us
not to get into
interpreting dreams
so in a dream
my dead father
told me to go
to the post office
at nine in the morning
for something
that was sent
by planned parenthood
and I got
a free laptop.

I hear voices in my head
which is just thought electro-chemistry
but which talks to me
as though they were people
and today I have figured
that what they are
are the same people
who appear in my dreams
the dream people
who can be anyone
and are not real
but only illusory people.

The toy piano
is played twice
once on the right
and once on the left.
The toy harp
is played twice
once on the left
and once on the right.
This music
ends badly
but brings me
joy.
It is silent now
except for the beautiful humming.

Three o'clock
in the morning
and the house
is awake
with music
and this is not night
but morning.

My Zen master said
that he had never heard
of the word "ego"
until he got to the States
so in Zen circles
I often hear
that the ego
is like some kind of enemy thing
or something like that
but I think
"Who is it that practices?
Who is it that takes Buddha vows?
Who is it that takes Bodhisattva vows?
Who is it that learns Dharma?
And really now,
who actually is it
that is our authentic self?"
to which I think
Ego!
so I would suggest
that you don't go pushing
your ego around,
it just might be
your Buddha.

Welcome to the age
of information
when we are blessed
by wireless waves
passing through
our body/minds
and awakened
by the electronic chemistry
of the computer,
the television,
the radio,
all the little
electrical gizmos
which are everywhere,
so I wonder
what is this doing
to our brains?
so this is not a forest anymore
and it's no wonder
that we can't quieten our minds
no matter how we try
so why don't we just
learn to love
the new electromagnetic ocean
and float on our sea
of meaningless thoughts?

I was down
in the basement,
with a bottle of sake,
and I played a CD
with one of my favorite songs
from my teenage years,
so I had a shot of wine
and thought that now
I was old,
and then another song
came on,
that reminded me of ***,
and said that this trip
begins with the girls,
so as I was then
so happy,
on came a song from my youth
which is so solemn and sad
that tears began to form,
and this sadness
became strong
and noble,
so I decided to end
this small but important experience
on this powerful sadness,
and with the last minor chord,
I turned off the CD player,
with no happy ending,
and then I took a ****.

When I officially became a Zen Buddhist
I took the precepts
and promised to practice
being an energetic Buddhist
to which I replied, "Sort of..."
and everybody laughed
but now
about seven years later
I have become energetic
and I really can't believe it myself.