..

Darling I can tell you haven't slept,
Much since that last cup of tea.
I remember you saying it burnt like tequila,
And now I know why.

Darling I see the scars you cut,
In the space between your heart and your soul.
I know how it hurts,
To have them separated so.

But darling I can't help with your wounds,
I know so little of how to heal,
Self made wounds, though I have one to match,
I didn't make the incision, though I held the knife.

Darling you cut me so deep,
I think I lost my soul.
But sadly I still have my heart,
Scarred from the incision you made.

"She's cured!"
Then how come my mind still screams
"You fat disgusting pig"?
And I still cringe every time I hear your name?
How come I still etch red tally marks on the top of my thighs
And, I still keep the pills
In a bottle under my dresser
And they still call my name begging me to take them
all at once with a big swing of whiskey
Why am I still counting every calorie
And drowning my sorrows with the sting of alcohol?
Is this what its like to be cured?

Injecting poetry and high on the verse in me,
I am ****** on the edge of free
and I want to jump.

I was warming up tea and I put it in for a little too much time.
But it was too long so my tea boiled over and made a mess.
But that didn't mean I could never make tea again.
It just meant I had to wipe it up better and be more careful next time.
This reminded me of life.
That sometimes things bombard your life and everything happens at once.
And what happens?
You break
You boil over
But no matter what it is, not matter how much it hurts.
You just have to pick yourself up.
Brush off your hands.
And smile a little longer.

Allow me to explain
what falling in love feels like.
You see, the falling happens when you run too fast,
only you don't have a clue as to
what you're running from.
All you know is that your thoughts are
a little too dense and
the pace that your heart is beating at is
a little too intense,
almost as if it was ready to
detach itself from your chest and
start running a race of its own.
But you already know that
no matter how fast your feet move
they'll never be able to keep up.
Eventually you give up the fight and
when you stop you realize that you
made it to the finish line,
only it isn't a line at all and
you were never running away from anything,
not even for a second.
All this time you were running a marathon
with the one you love as the finish line,
and now that you see this it
feels like you have finally won.

-mp

Hi Kirsten
This is Sydney
It keeps signing me in as you
So I decided to write this poem
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My name is Sydney Rain
And I love you
C;

Its so warm in this room
But why are my limbs trembling?
Tears are rolling down in this bright room
The hysteric's kick in and rushing

Searing pain in my chest
And gasping for air is getting difficult
Locking myself in this bathroom while i'm getting so stressed
Family is on the other end of the thin wall remembering my thoughts are not so innocent

It wells up in my head what everyone calls danger
Then there is no more reactions, completely disconnected
My body is now like a stranger
The worrying thoughts targeting my daily life as expected

Trying to keep the world out with music
With all the maddening loss
What is with this endless panic?
Its just another big anxiety attack I have to come across

you don’t try to hide your breath on
a winter morning—it’s written into the air
I suppose, some things just are
so why hide this?
it’s okay, I can see,
your heart broke like a window
and you’re still pretending there’s glass
it’s okay
step on out, it’s not as cold as you may think
it’s not as cold as you may think