what are these feelings i'm feeling?
this rush of emotion clawing at my skin
the excitement of it all sending me reeling
down
         down
                   down
                             to a spiral i cannot escape from
                             is this love? lust? general trust?
                             why does she make me act as so?
                             the curve of her smile brings me
                                                              ­                       down
                                                            ­                                  down
                          ­                                                                 ­           down
                                                 ­                                                               to­ a
                                                                ­                                            chasm
                                                                ­                                              i care
                                                                ­                                             not to
                                                                ­                                            escape
                                                                ­                                              from.

ethereal
the only word that could ever describe her
magical
her smile and laugh and everything about her
to make her happy
i don't think there's much i wouldn't do

she's like a song
seared into my head
guiding me towards an emptiness

she's like a siren
tearing up my head
driving me insane
locking up my brain
she's like a siren
singing over me
pretty as can be
this siren's gonna be the end of me

she's so wonderful
when she tells me how she feels
and lyrical
is her voice as she takes away my fears

She's like a song
seared into my head
taking me away from all my common sense

she's like a siren
tearing up my head
driving me insane
locking up my brain
she's like a siren
singing over me
pretty as can be
this siren's gonna be the end of me.

in a world without hate
we all have a clean slate
and no grudge is held against you

no foul and no lie
no reason to cry
no want for redemption too

so we pick up ourselves
to store them in shells
knowing they will always love you

but without hate is no love
no divine blessings from above
no need for kindness and grace

no laughter no smiles
no need to be riled
only a long empty face

so it festers and kicks
against the realm which it sits
a body of unmatched pace

through a crack it slips
because hate, it chips
away at an enclosed cage

and it lingers and smells
and breaks up all shells
in bouts of fury and rage

through barriers comes forth
a mass on no course
to nothing, no where, no aim

no place to be hateful
no need to be loved
no want to play life's age old game.

Mystical creatures, that play in the dark
They are the creation of blackness so stark

Mystical creatures, they bring fear to me
Fear of all those I cannot see

Mystical creatures, are you even real?
Or are you just the ideas we steal?

Mystical creatures, afire in the night
To bring young children certain looks of fright

Mystical creatures, do you listen to me?
Head my caution of that which could be

Mystical creatures, beware of the light!
For it shall surely end your fight!

Mystical creatures, stay with me, I dare
I promise we'll be the perfect pair

Mystical creatures, the sun is rising fast
Away to the shadows, where you don't contrast

Mystical creatures,  just follow my advice
If not, you shall become colder than ice

Mystical creatures, the sun is now risen
Return! Now! To your underground prison!

Mystical creatures, please don't be rash
Oh no! There you go! You've turned to ash

Oh why did those creatures not listen to me
Well, at least now,  they are ever so free

How strange and strong and wonderful
is the gentle whispers of the wind
how picturesque
how imminent
how full of peace and bliss

the wind is a friend
a warm embrace
a cool shoulder
a being of unparalleled heights
everywhere
yet nowhere

succumb to the will of the wind
douse yourself within its emptiness

love it
hate it
feel it

embrace its wisdom
enjoy the simple pleasure of a life unchosen
enjoy the wonders of the wind.

The walls around me fade
A sky so clear and blue
Air arround me smells of rain
Yet still I think of you
Nature is my hiding place
I'm free to be myself
Out in the open, I am safe
Safer than when I'm with you
Yes, you might be happy
But do you see my smile?
I can run and jump and sing
For freedom is what's mine
A place of peace and paradise
Cool winds blow through my hair
Oh how I love my perfect place
No, I don't want to share
Yet soon my daydream ends once more
The scene disappears
Prison walls, back in there place
And I am left in tears

she waits on knights and kings
the pain and glory that they bring
the laughter and mirth of their fans

she waits on dukes and lords
the greatness they launch you towards
the lifestyle, the grandeur, the decay

she waits on mansions and castles
and any other large parcels
to give her the joy that she craves

she waits on what she knows
from white fences to old shows
to once again make her feel

she waits on death and life
to combat her strife
and bring her peace amidst the pain

she waits on earth and moon
and every sandy dune
to love and adore her as one

she waits on what she can't take
and all her previous mistakes
it haunts and torments her at night

she waits on dark and light
she waits on her last true fight
a battle of place and time

she waits on pain and hate
wishing for a clean slate
"any moment now."

against the wind and water too
against the shadows he stays true
against all good and every blue
stands the watchful sentinel

he watches over day and night
he watches over every fright
he watches over with all his might
the might of the standing sentinel

he stands against all crippling odds
he stands against all swords and rods
he stands so long, tall like a god
the otherworldly sentinel

come rain, come fire
come peace, come dire
come torch-lit pyre
still stands the sentinel

no human, no beast
no fae, and no feast
no world that has ceased
could move the watching sentinel.

Fought for love

Fought for peace

Fought for memories I no longer can reminisce

The blood

The sweat

The fear

I remember it all

The stench of the trenches

The putrid cloud of anxiousness and calamity perpetually lingering

Never more than a few breaths short of inhaling pure death

But what is death compared to life?

Purer?

More sacred?

Meet me in the field and find out.

Sweet is the sorrow remembered in bliss after the healing is done

Long are the shadows between my lungs before the nights begun

Above the ashes my body will rise, unlit, untouched by the sun

til tomorrow remembers the sorrowful start of a ballad best left unsung.

It's okay, I'm fine
Nobody's hurting me
It's okay, I'm fine
It's you! Can't you see?!
No! No, no there's no need for that
I wish you would care
Stop!  Stop!  Please!
Stop pulling my hair!
I'm fine, I'm okay
These tears mean nothing
Why do you ask?
When you know I'm bluffing
No! Please! Stop!
You're in my head again
You're not welcome here
I'm already broken
Its okay. I'm fine.
Im picking up the pieces
Strong and confident, I say
But I know I'm not
You made me helpless
Yet I stayed
I've tried to be selfless
But I'm not okay.

I'm just your little problem aren't I?
That little irk at the bottom of your spine
The thought that keeps you up at night
And forget you try with all your might
I'm still your little problem

Hiding in the nooks and crannies
Of youe topsy turvy mind
Thoughts that'll surely **** your granny
Thoughts you hope no one will find
But, I'm still your problem

You've always been the awkward kid
The one that no one gets
So you've learned to shut your lid
And try hard not to fret
Still it doesn't change the fact
That I'm still your problem

You see, i have chosen you
To be my final haunt
So if you see a floating shoe
I'm not trying to flaunt
So yes, I'm just your little problem
But you're my little problem too.

slowly it leaves
the burning
the desire
the want

slowly you begin again
the growth
the warmth
the content

take a look
look into my eyes
deeply
deeply
deeper still
drown in their inky abyss
bathe in their richness
no
don't look away
deeper
deeper still
look into my eyes.

hush little child, there's no need to distress
mama's here to soothe you

hush little child, never settle for less
mama's here to guide you

hush little child, done now your pretty dress
mama's here to help you

hush little child, come close to my breast
mama's here to love you.

how light dost the love of a lover feel
like feathers perhaps? or the giddy nature of a reel?

how dense dost the love of a lover act
like earth? like air? like rock over years compact?

what beauty dost the love of a lover hold
what strength? what mirth? what never ending gold?

what purpose dost the love of a lover give
to love? yes. To leave? perhaps. to live?

------------

the love of a lover is all of these things
all emotions
all facts
all truths
and lies

it is greater than what we comprehend
it is eternal
undying
unforgettable

it lives within us
and thrives when we do
it feasts upon our success
and cries with us too

the love of a lover is great and full of power
yet it can be meek as well

it is undefinable
it pushes through all bounds
denies all limits
fits no one description

the love of a lover is everything
yet nothing at all
it is within us
waiting
for an answer to its call.

Rejection is:

Small simpering sounds amongst the night
Sweetly whispering whimsical woes
Wondering whether you'll stay in sight
Soft stars singing silently in sunken sky
Sharp glistening gems and subdued cries
Frosted flares of fiery anger
Enraptured by an encased heart so icily clad
And so you feed a hurt based hunger
Hopelessy pining for what love was once had
To come calling,  cawing like crows

the thud, thud, thudding of an empty heart
against a bitter soul
longing, yearning, surviving,
only for control.

the tap, tap, tapping of salted words
raining from the sky
"don't go! it's too dangerous"
if only she knew why

the break, break, breaking of a withered tree
against the storm it pushs
slowly now it crumbles
from tall oak to mere bush

the thud, thud, thudding of a broken heart
within its pitch black hole
longing, yearning, surviving
only for his soul.

In winter spring
And summer snow
In waters sweet
And depths below
A time shall come
For all to pass
A time for all
To rest at last

In all my years
Without a home
And all my fears
Have left and grown
I know but now
One simple truth
To trust myself
And always push.

a burdened back to help her sow
a place of glee and rest
an outstretched hand to bear the load
of hatred and contempt

a longing for the starry night
a yearning for the sea
content with all the dark and fright
but a need, only for she

the ripple of her golden hair
the ringing of her glee
a need awakens, a want for her,
his pure depravity

she knows not why he chose to stay
she knows not of her fate
to soothe his screams, to save her heart
to dissipate his hate

long now they have lived as one
long now the darkness left
long now the tale of two is sung
the moon and his sun.

your love is no miracle
it leaves no satisfaction
it is not wonderful
nor beautiful
it exists only through the coals of desire

but desire is passion
passion is fire
and fire it burns

it scalds
it breaks
it destroys
it leaves no life in its wake

so yes, your love in no miracle
no once in a lifetime thing
its passion
its desire
its heat
its disaster waiting to sing.

Jealousy is:

The intense monochrome of your lovers hand touching his
Burning, boiling,  burtsing, ready to explode
Various reds and deepest violets invade your senses
Causing whatever strength you have left to erode

The heightened passion of his touch on her skin
The colour of her voice as she speaks to him
The distance between your hearts as you leave
All mesh together till your vision fades to green

Guilt is:

The knawing depth of knives buried deep
Kindling obnoxious desires of letting go
Forlorn thoughts of forgotten promises
Drowing you from the inside
Unescapable

"Curiosity killed the cat"
or so they say
I think the cat knew the risk
whatever happens next is its fault
"But satisfaction revived him"
Bah!  *******!
must we really depend on a saviour?
A golden hand to pull us out of our ****?
Live a little
Grow some *****
Take charge of your life.

one moment is all it takes for an unloved heart to break
the torrential downpour of rain, the scorch of fire to dissipate

one moment is all it takes for loss and pain to engorge an empty soul
to force it down a rock faced shaft, to leave it withered and alone

one moment is all it takes the brave to march towards redemption
to rise above blackened soil, to leave the past behind

one moment is all it takes for growth and repair
for the gentle push of leafy heads to push through barriers, for life to live again.

one moment is all you need to build up your walls
to fortify your soul, to stay behind them all

one moment is all it takes to fall in love all again
to laugh, to break, to let go, to stay within capable hands

one moment is all it takes to live.
so live.