when you break your arm, you go to the doctor so they can put a cast on it and fix it
when you have a stomachache or a headache, you take an aspirin to relieve the pain
when you were little and you fell or got a paper cut, you would ask mommy to kiss it
and make it better
but what about when you can't make it better?
what about when there's no pill
or magic cure to take the pain away...
when you're broken, heartless, and cold...
what happens then?
what do you do to make it better?
if the drugs are supposed to get rid of the pain, why am I yet to feel relief?
maybe getting high in order to balance my lows is just what the doctor ordered.
there are some things that can't be fixed
with just a simple kiss
life drops countless bombs
and you just hope that they miss..
they say with time the pain eases
to tell the truth, the relief? I'm just not feelin
ups and downs highs and lows
it's just the way life goes I suppose
wondering when it'll all change and if this pain will still remain
the mind is a powerful weapon & I don't ever want to end up regretting any decision I've ever made due to pain

I miss you. or maybe I think I do.
maybe I just miss the thought of you.
the infatuation
the desire
the love.
or so what I thought it was.
it amazes me,
how something is one thing and the next
minute another.
or how one thing is something
and then the next- boom
it's nothing.
or something completely different
as if.. nothing ever existed at all.
crazy how life works

pain demands to be felt.
it's like your heart hurts
and you can't quite figure out
exactly why.
it feels heavy
yet you still feel empty & hallow
but you still want to cry
your poor little heart out.
but no tears will come.
that's the funny thing about pain...
you always feel..
but can't quite express.

stop reading the old text messages.
they may have been cute once,
but baby they never meant anything
at all.
I know the words that he spoke
may have seemed truthful.
but they were just poison
dripping from his lips.
the venom now embedded
in your brain and heart.
he doesn't deserve you
he doesn't deserve to be
in your head.
nor does he deserve
to be the very thing you think about
before you go to sleep
at 3a.m.
it doesn't matter
that he said he was in love with you.
because it wasn't real.
it doesn't matter
how much you may have
loved him
or how strong your feelings were.
because he obviously didn't care
I know you may think
reading those texts
over and over
will help you find closure.
but I promise you baby
it's doing you more harm
than good.
all it's doing,
is messing with a wound
that hasn't fully healed yet.
it's clear he doesn't give a ****
about you.
and I know it's hard to swallow.
and I know it's hard to breathe
at night when you're up
at 3a.m.
crying with your head
buried in your knees
screaming into your pillow
and choking on your own tears.
thinking and wondering
how someone who supposedly "loved" you
could do this.
you're not quite over it.
you still miss it
I know
don't rush yourself
but don't wait too late
and miss out on opportunities.

I still catch myself
thinking about it.
wondering how I could've been
so naïve.
how could I ignore
such obvious signs?
why wasn't I good enough?
was I not pretty enough?
was I not skinny enough?

never cheat on someone
or play with somebody's heart.
because everyday
they'll sit up at 3 am wondering why
they weren't ******* good enough.

I see so much pain.
So much hurt and depression.
Talk of suicide and self injury.
I know nothing that anyone says will help the hurt.
So I encourage everyone who knows someone like this,
To just listen.
Don't try giving advice,
It doesn't help.
Don't tell us stories of yourself in a similar situation,
We are different.
We just want someone to listen to us and be there for us.

And for everyone who feels worthless and ready to die,
Hang in there.
You are loved.
More people than you could imagine care about you.
I know it won't be easy at all,
But try.
Even if you only find one reason to live and a million to die,
Fight for that one reason.