On cloudless moonlit nights
When the world is silver and darkest blue
And silence seems to reign supreme
If you stretch your hearing inwards
You will hear the distant moans
Of long lost lonely dreams
Homeless and obsolete
Fading away
To become endless shadows

                                           By Phil Roberts

Hello
It's me again
It's the early hours and I'm slightly drunk
And it's me again

He has the sins of his mind
Which keep him warm inside
Amidst the weary and the wasted
Such warmth keeps him alive

Restless
I've always been restless
I hate to move yet I can't sit still
Hours are endless

There is a thrush inside his head
An agony of wings
Panic beaten thrashing
A cage of singing things

Anxious
Still always anxious
Even though I've slowed right down
This edge is ageless

Laying low and watching
A million sub-plots hatching
Paranoid and paranormal
He scatters to survive

                                    By Phil Roberts

Let me be easy
to let me rest my head and close my eyes.
Let me be at peace
with the world and even myself.
Let my weary soul rest.
May the demons sleep tonight.

                                       By Phil Roberts

I always seem to have needed lots of time
To stare......at nothing
I went through my entire education
Staring through windows
At nothing much
Indeed, the essence of a good stare,
Is not to focus on anything
But to find that comfortable place
Where thoughts can wander
To find nourishing places to dwell
Where poetry is born

                                     By Phil Roberts

every tear that falls
carries
a piece of my soul
that will drip
and fall onto the pavement
never to come back
to the vessel that is myself
again

the soft,
farmiliar
fuzziness
of your blanket.
the humbling
wall art
comforting
house
a place
where you feel
safe.

the movie
starts.

walls
become tall
narrow,
you never noticed
the way the
darkness
lingers
in the far back corner
so that you
are never quite sure
of what
could be hiding there.

even after
you turn on the lights
you still
tiptoe
through the hallway
peeking
at every turn
swear
you heard something
swear
it's hiding
waiting to get you
scamper
to your bedroom
lock
the door
fall asleep
with the lights on

little did you know
it appears
when you are
asleep.
lurking
watching your every
toss and turn
waiting
for the perfect chance
to strike.

don't
close your eyes
don't
sleep
it will
devour
you.

Lay in bed
Nice and warm and comfortable
Bursting for a ***
I stagger to the toilet
And **** like a race horse
I get dressed and I'm ready to go
Sort of
The dog is waiting for me on the landing
His turn for a *** and
His eyes must be watering
Down the stairs and let the dog out
And now it's top up time
Too much coffee and
Too many cigarettes
As I curse and cough a lung up
Until, by now
My eyes are almost open
I'm not good at mornings

                                         By Phil Roberts

never been happier
to be home
never been more miserable
to be home
throw
my bags of crap
material possessions
kick
the eternal
mess
that is my room
that is me
make a path
to my bed
lonely
twin bed
one
pillow
one
blanket
not much
but enough

enough to hold me while I cry
my blanket wraps her arms
around me
my pillow
lets me vent
I will pretend they are my friends
I have
no
friends

the ones
who would be the closest
thing to a friend
I have
do not answer the call.
do not answer the message.
it's okay, 'cause
I isolate myself
from them anyways
do not answer their calls.
do not answer their messages.
if I had any
remainder of myself
left in me
I would laugh
because
my bed is my only friend
and I am my worst enemy

writing.
write
down
the pain
devastation
realization
that this is what life is
it at least
feels like I am talking
to someone.
maybe
no one
but I am venting.

my tears
are sulfuric acid
they have melted my skin,
who I am.
right
through
the bone
scar tissue
weak tissue
tissue that will break again
I am no longer myself
I am the remainder
of what is left.
ugly
wrinkled
mess
unrecognizable
as human
I am not real
I am not a person
at all
just the
acid tear drops
that fall
and the scars
they have left