You've crushed me.
I gave you my heart of glass,
that came with a caution sign because it had been so badly treated before
and you let it shatter.

I should have been more careful.
Never gotten so close.
Never gotten so attached.
Never let my happiness depend on you.

I made a mistake by trusting you,

but I regret nothing.
I still love you with all the pieces of my broken heart.
I still miss you with every ounce of my aching soul and
I would do anything to turn back the hands of time.

Because if I could, I would be with you. Not a thousand miles away.
Then none of this would have ever happened and we'd be happy together.

But I guess
This is no fairy tale and happily ever afters don't exist in reality.

You had the demeanor of an *******.
A self absorbed, selfish ****.

But from the first few moments I saw you,
I couldn't stop the yearning I felt
to introduce myself.

Because if I hadn't,
I'd feel terrible that I had judged you so harshly,
without even trading a word.

So I did.
And before I knew it,
I had some stupid school girl crush on you.

I never said anything.
It was quite obvious
but I would never admit to it.

                    We became close friends,
                    exchanged secrets.
                    I told you things that struck emotions in me.
                    You were surprised.
                   you have emotions?
                    although it was a joke, we both heard the pang of truth.

                    You showed me sides of you no one else saw.
                    The compassionate you.
                    The depressed you.
                    The caring you.
            
                    With just words, we had established this relationship that we continued to build upon.
                    But no matter how much we told each other,
                    we never spoke of our feelings that we felt for one another.
                    As a result, I was unsure of myself around you.

                    One day, curiosity struck you.
                    You began questioning me.
                    We trekked into territory that both of us had avoided.

                                        Eventually I told you.
                                        The seven words escaped my mouth before I could stop them,
                                        like on a windy day,
                                        when you try to keep the **** hat on your head
                                        but it still gets away.
                                        All of the repressed emotions emptied themselves
                                        into these seven words:

                                        I LOVE YOU, OKAY?
                                         ....i love you.

The tears followed quickly.
A flowing stream down my cheeks.
because I had never thought you'd feel the same
and I could not handle the vulnerability
of loving someone.

                    You held me.
                    And allowed me to rest my weary head
                    on your broad, muscular chest.
                    Your heartbeat soothed me
                    and as the tears stopped,
                    you pierced my eyes, with yours.
                    A dark, serious look crossed over the green gold sea of your irises.

                                        You whispered seven words,
                                         mostly to yourself.
                                         but I heard them, because if I hadn't
                                         I wouldn't have felt like a swarm of butterflies were
                                         trying to escape my stomach.

*It's fine. Because I love you too.

I read things she wrote about you and her today.
And every word broke my heart.
I thought I could trust you.
But now, I have every reason not to.

I have every right to throw every little bad thing about you in your face.
To curse and scream and say things that will make you hurt as badly as I am.

But for some reason I can't bring myself to do so.
I cant make your heart ache like mine.
And even though vengeance is calling, I won' t fall into temptation.

Because I truly love you.
It's hard though because I'm suppose to be the hard *** that doesn't care about anything or anyone.

When it came to you, I couldn't be that person.

But now I can't be anything.
Because I feel like nothing.

The only thing I can think about is

all of the time I invested in you
and all the trust I had given you.
and every piece of my heart I let you caress,
But you went and threw it all away.
because it was meaningless to you, wasnt it?

The worst part of it all is that you dont even know that I know.
So for the sake of you and I,
I wont bring it up.
I'll play pretend and act like everything is fine and dandy.

I wont let you know how badly you have hurt me or how much I cared about you.
I wont let you hear me cry "how could you do this to me" or about how shattered I am.

I'll say "hey babe!" when I answer the phone and when you ask how I am
I'll tell you that I'm missing you.
Because no matter how much pain I'm in,
that will always be the truth.

And when you say you love me I'll say "I love you too"
Because no matter how badly you hurt me,
that will always be the truth too.

I am no poet, only poetic
who could never kiss the moon
in the evening twilight;
nor a man with a heart of roses,
to exude the fragrance of his love.

I am no poet, who can pen
profound mysteries about the past,
nor a man of beautiful promises
to be kept safe until the world is dust.

I am no poet, only poetic
who could never touch the souls
of every woman’s dreams;
nor a man with arms of a gladiator,
to protect her forever
from the shadows of her grief.

And as the sun sets in the horizon
from another blemished morning end,
resembles tears of thine eyes;
for my love for you, my majesty,
will never be enthroned
into your kingdom,
like when I am with you,
like I am to you,
my tongue speaks,
I am no poet, only poetic.

Sit with a blank stare,
Mechanical chest,
In... Out.
In... Out.
Throbbing of a sore heart
Da dum.
Da dum.
Left foot twitches;
Itching
To walk the world.
Despondent minds.
Blink once, stare.
Sit and stare.

From across the dim
Hazy room,
I ask,
"What...
What are you...
Waiting for?"

Quietly, you answer,
Careful not to break
Your intense stare.
"Here, I wait
For the world to change,
For it to accept me
And my failed attempts
To be something more."

You give me
A breath of fresh air,
Then
You take my breath away
In one instant, then another,
I shiver, fear, then,
I feel your arms and I’m safe.
Your eyes,
Full of adoration,
Drilling the truth into me.
I blink, the world changes, yet
You remain the same.
As my anchor you pull me,
Down, down, down.
I thought I was afraid of drowning,
But I was really just afraid of
Sinking alone.
Your hooks sink into me,
Into my heart and my veins,
And you whisper;
‘I’ll never let you go.’
For once, I can say back;
‘I know’.

Altogether beautiful
Altogether wonderful
Altogether lovely
Is your soul
I feel the beauty
Inside of you
I feel the love
The kindness
The light
Flowing through you
I feel you inside of me
I know you are there
Living inside of me
Your heart is in my hands
I know our hearts are one
They are intertwined
Regardless
Of how far it is
Regardless
Of how long it is
I can feel your heart
Beating next to mine
Slowly deepening
As we take in each other
Consuming each other
With our love

There's a beast inside
Waiting to swallow our souls
Do not let it win

We all fear the grave
Fearing our mortality
Death is always there

We must accept death
If we want to truly live
Throwing off the fear

That fearing our death
Can ultimately instill
Clouding us with fear