I am not who I am
When I become aware of myself
For then I am that object on display
Taken in hand examined aware of that...
... Dustless spot now seen on that shelf

I am not who I was
When I first accepted the reflection
As not just a physical representation
But a cover to show and hide behind ...
.....for protection

I am not who I saw
The next time I chanced a glance
I was an ad mix -  a duality
Clenched in a fierce battle or maybe a dance

I am not who I found
Looking back at me in that mirror
Each and every time - through the years
In order to see I had to get ..nearer and nearer

I am not who I believed
When I first knew I had lied to myself
For at that moment I became
That dust-free spot seen on the shelf

I am not who I remember
As the years pile up behind
As  each must don glasses in order to view
The physical changes  each shares in kind

But I am who I always was in my mind
When I first became aware of myself
Then as now and forever more
I am me ...

That blank and dustless spot
That's left upon the shelf
When I lift up that object...
.... that memory
That trophy ...to be dusted off

So that then the details will show
As I really truly..
....look at me like no one else
Ever could...ever would.... ever can
.... and really see me

That's who I am

I am not ....who I was when I first...
..... became aware
Of my own reflection

I look ahead and what do I see
As it is ....approaching me
The future of all mankind..and it is...in a bind
.......coming unwound and ...
....is now sinking fast
into the distant waves
Of time.... as it rolls past
And I am bound ...by fear
To this place I stand ...surrounded

By all that I once knew ..
All that I was going...to do
.... before it was too late
But now I seem to hesitate
Chalk it all up to fate before
It has a chance to implicate
ME
ALTHOUGH
it is not any real surprise
How long I failed to recognize
The panic that I saw ...whenever
I looked into my own eyes
As they became as clouded as stormy skies

The light that fades I tried... to ignore
But now I can clearly see ...
That those waves of time have
Managed
To somehow catch up to me
And I think I always knew
I would never get to do
All those thing that I had planned to

So I must accept that ...
it was ...
.more than enough .

Maybe it's me and the way I see
Opposed to... instead of cut and dry
For non inspired I grow so tired
And wonder why so many do deny

That for every action there is idk
Nothing I guess and I must confess
Have they never played with a yo-yo
Maybe for them unwinding alone is success

How sad to live in directionless parody
And see naught beyond the simple vain
Where up is up and down is down
And no thought is applied to entertain
.......anything between

No way could I pollute my mind with
So narrow a flow through stagnant mass
That plows without question the absent quest
Where direction is a one way mirror or simply glass

Now you see it ..now you don't or maybe won't
So does peek-a-boo become a lifelong magic trick
Where not seen will always mean it no longer exists
Therefore the choice chosen was all there was to pick

No way such infertile soil could ever grow a garden
Beyond self serving and slowly diminishing seeds
That resist all changes in the status quo they know
Satisfied with letting the world become fields of weeds

Where I guess I dont see the glass as simply all that's seen
So I ask this simple value to be more colorfully embued
With all that can be seen and more than even imagined
Which will mean that all new thoughts or directions include

And not become all hung up by a one way you view alone
And see how easy it is to allow this little seed to sprout
Is standing up for what you believe harder than sitting down
For what I may believe and isn't that the very  point
Of what Colin'Kaepernick is doing and what its really all about ?

Stardust dreams of planetary evolution
Earth dust has nightmares ....of mass pollution
While people argue of what is missing .
...without a clue
They proceed
Putting greed
ahead of need !  
So..
I must be
Earth dust ....as I too
Have nightmares ...
...As do all...those...
It seems ....
.... who
really truly cares..,,
....about Stardust dreams!

I stood at the door forever
Wondering if I should knock
How many times have I turned
To start back down that walk

Beyond it lay.... my redemption ?
Or maybe my reflection incarnate
Of what I am..... or want to be
If....
I can ever wipe clean the slate

November rains incessant
making puddles in the twilight mists
As winter looms like empty tombs ..await
The metaphoric slitting of my wrists

To deny me the sanctity of the threshold
Beyond the ability to knock upon the door
The rapture of ocean breezes or sailing ships
That will take me to other worlds beyond this shore

Yet I stand here poised in static grace
My hand raised unmoving trembling to my core
I fear no answer will come to my transgression ...
                       .....my confession ....my fear
Is that GOD no longer answers those who seek solace
     Knocking at HEAVENS. door .

How many times have I turned? How many?

Love is a fleeting thing
That can't be packaged ...
     ... or ...stored away
It has to breathe and laugh
Cry and get lost...
... in it's own circles each day

Love ....like any and all living things.

Which surely
   ...it must be considered such
For it had its season
And it must be seen
As a memory... Not a crutch

There is no laughter through pain
No stalwart dignity need be evoked
Just carry a petal
From the flower that was
And let the unbearable weight
Be temporarily revoked

Then that time will arrive
Inspiring... A memory...
... Wrapped in laughter... Real laughter
Some slip and fall or misunderstanding
Or even some strange pose forever etched
Deep inside of us

For isn't that what we all ... are after?

Because it is in that Hollow void
That empirical and ponderous minute
When we know... That we can carry it now
And we feel peace... With the knowledge
That others will be able
To... do the same
When they find themselves
Left.....behind
In this world.....,.  without us in it

For everything there is... Yes
There is a season
Even if it takes a while... To accept
That life happens...
....The Rainbow Bridge does exist
Death happens..and the facts of Life
Are often beyond any reason

So cry and moan and mourn
Remember that day when they
Or your friendship was born
And some day you will laugh
At that memory... You will always
You will always have