hair in faCe-

lids, part covered over like gauze on a wound

as your zipper eyes are caught in my [ shirt]
3/4s of the way down

a metallic taste
like ******* on a cashier's finger-[tips]

the sandpaper strips at the edge of each stair
as  your head tilts . like
a broken PA speaker on a subway car
pushing static like a jazz drummer

art blakey and the
hiss.

superrich .  call they say,
                      savory as
sputnik sounds through hamradios
in every other basement
in a time [and place]where things are still
in bed

and when you can't close the door hard enough
i am the sharp-ribbed man under the bed
that wants to touch you
and through all the sheets that wrap around you
i can still feel you
with my
fifteen fragile fingertips there's nothing to understand there is only to listen. or try to ignore
and you swear you can hear my shallow breathing
my slender arms bristle for sensation
your slender body
twisted into blankets
i must take away

☆
against the ugly light of a brand new
day. we
take comfort in the bruises on our
future bellies
.
my youthquake comes to a theater near
you  
in whitebreakers of overeducated hooves blustering forward without pleasure

and.in recycled boyhoods bandaged together in
peanutbutterhaste

i can_


.
advocate for me on your sly plunge into
Helios
swanlike and stumbling.

solution is
calling


i am unmaker of your radiotheist fire.


wrapt  up in your eternal parka like fishing net for rare creatures.blushing


it brings peace as i eradicate all sense of fashion.pulling on the uneven strings of the hood like a
God
for better people (than you)

i discount you in this poem and amid other things where
1 1 7 55 47 40 30 10
.


i crack open the cocoons you retreat
to
for
respite
like a
pre-dinner platter.washing my hands
in the crumbs
of your
falling cornmeal
bones.

(as)you
get caught
in the depression left  in my wallet when i
get up

to walk away

trembling-
fabulous as
bowie
's
ghost


doing you the most glorious harm.

"do you believe in madness?"
i whispered in the dark, half afraid of a reply.
"yes,"
trembled from her lips,
"but this it not it."
i say her lips trembled but in truth i could not see her face. perhaps it was i who was trembling, but if only in my imagination i could of sworn, she was trembling too.
the walls pushed forcibly on my chest and spine each time i inhaled

each mouthful of still air pressed me to the sides as a harsh reminder that the passage was only barely wide enough for us to walk through sideways, shoulder to shoulder, scraping our skin as we went.
i'm not sure how much time had passed
not much had changed
since the last word had been spoken out-loud

i had begun again to forget what words felt like,
both on the lips and upon softing the delicate hairs of the inner ear
all i could know was the dark, and my breathing, and her breathing.  and i begun to wonder if she was breathing at all,
of if the fainter, more distant breaths-  were not just echoes of my own.
had i gone mad. was i truly alone. no companion. no accomplice. just an invention of my lonely silence.
was it days that had been passing. or were they weeks.

perhaps just a few hours, and my sense of brooding, too dark.

Amsterdamiss is
typing into an internet comment section:_

but she's gone.
by the look of her little square
picture.
Her blip in the fetish
It's a costume
leaking through the build up for it>gumming up each pixel> disappointing us.
and don't forget      
          to bite down
when you' chewing gum.
or just scraping something historic from the front of a nicely shaped
building

our fingers
are
red
as the blood flowing through the veins of our revisionist
history.america
can ******* babe.
we are exceptional.


and they're showing it on the disney channel  
and out in the street-like folds that peel out doing at least
45
without looking
on the places on my body.
if you
scroll down, some kid calls her a ******.
but i'll let you hate me
if you want to. as i correct the dead smile of the news reporter.as she
feeds some sort of loaded question into the
screen
like: "you just have to thank god at times like these, don't ya?"

.
"it really is a miracle, isn't it?"
as we stand
in front of the fire that's taking just about everything.
in front of the shot-up restaurant.
in front of my shaking hands.


******* savages
all of 'em

it's the middle of the night, babe.
don't you have anything better left to say to me?
at least
give me something to feel shame about.
it's coming
down
to you.

     -
I say something mean.


not yourbabe. might be your babe.
**** like a snapback-
Melfina tilts her head back
i'm garbage

with a fresh grasspour
fade to green,  as the sun beats us senseless .with shotgun shells from the center of orbit
to breathe as this. as the saltwater beads up around the
little wrinkle of her
nose.
she can save us.

but
there's nobody to hold your love for you, when you're too ****** to grip it.

  _/ _
\       /
/   ^  \here's a lucky star for you, babe- you're gunna need it, here at the center of it all.

.(
(
swing like flower vines in the
sea-breeze face of the
cliffside

your hair
sells dancing glimpses of ancient
memory
there .

the shimmer-sailed ships
leave
the shore / /

self preservation
is an afterthought.
,talk about faces like you talk about an unexpected weather pattern.
it's really clearing up (now)

master of virtues no longer called for.
master of virtues not yet called for.

a hero with 1,000 faces
fights a faceless monster
in a field of ruin    and
  beyond observation

caught like a row of
selenium pillars holding up a
prism
earth

encrusted in
skittering moments w/o time

heaving a blade
into
salt-silt flickering slit

([]}        (  •. )         _

rather than wait for the worms to spit out our formaldehyde soaked flesh /
when you hear the
Hum,
make the new jazz interval
//


thought monger.
steeped in the sabbatical

eroded
love ///


a
roundtable :
without the
mirrored
orb

a
pantheon of
thinly veiled
veils


a
waking need.

With triplets
Drinks water from the
Faucet

There are things to care about
Left.

Fighting to stay alive .

lay not in the grasses- for the listing of the world(s)


wash the backs of your knees

prethunderstorm, arm-deep into the buoyant ions
wet molars      slipping backwards         drying out
girls running track
(in and around buildings)
>throwing up everyday

acid backs of teeth decaying me.
like the mold on the white windowsill-
out in open airs
the film you think might be just
dirt.
like the unexplained black things under your fingernail anatomies

like grabbing the wrong towel

putting on a clean t-shirt
a necklace clasp caught in the back of your hair.      cutting it

gentle and godless
head-damp in the big nowhere
like an out-patient gun   waiting to send its children home





/

don't worry.i can guarantee
that if they where handing out participation trophies
  to humanity

you wouldn't get one

beats us senseless as it beats off .

******* all the wilderness out of the world.

everlasting.the
wellknown mystery at the
door

again

i'd like you best wrapped up under the axles of my truck
but i'd rather not have to pay your brother to clean it up.
get the **** out of my home town
your driving the real estate value down.

in other words:
go back where you came from.

we don't
need that liberal faggy ****
i'm a man.
i'm a man.
i'm a man.

but i love the way my baby looks in that white summer dress caught around the warm summer air,
with flowers tangled up in her hair.
and the amber sun looks good in her eyes
i'm a man.

**** a ******, stab a ***
make my granddaddy proud.
love my baby, she's WASP like me
we're gunna start a family.
i **** her good, god gave me seed
you know i sow it as i please.
ultimately-
i'm good.

got a gun, bring it to school
always with me. i know i'm cool-
in case i need to get those sunni-shiite *****;  
shoot my teacher if i fail a test.

it's okay.i'm cowboy.
i'm good.

jesus loves me, he told me so.
******* Hey-Zeus, he mows my lawn.
-be ****** if i let them use the good bathroom  
it's all right they'll be deported soon.
and it's good.  

back in the city, jesus-  girls' ******* drop.
filthy ***** and cherries to pop.
but blondie looks good.

follow her home. i'm a really nice guy.
don't understand what made her cry.
just keep
*******
her anyways.

feminazi ******* wanna blame me
there just mad that they're ugly
jealous of my success
there all just ***** anyway.
*******.

and all those ***** livin' off the government's dime
handout *******. all of them should just die.
time to rise up
time to be
family man.
i.

oh, i'm a
good ol' boy,
i'm good.
(you know i'd **** you if i knew i could.)

but i love the way
my baby looks in that white summer dress caught up in the ******* air,
with flowers -like a promise- all in her hair.

the wind shakes the windows in their dressings like a child trying to wake its dead mother . you touch my face with the back of your hand, soft as the things that will be tanned in the slurry of our boiled- brains .      there is a clank from the cast radiator that     musters courage      up from floorboards below .   the mice run
scared.
your brow is deerskin that is pulled formfitting across my    dry,
      cupped           fingers
it wants small holes put in it as it                                      wears
suppler
into
a look
just
like kissing wool

the
heather inside the layers
that get put on-


wicking off like collagen

as the wintry madness finds us

the smell of hemp rope
in a storage closet.
running around church basements- irreverent of upstairs.
small fires in the parking lot to prove we could.
small ****
behind card covers inside our heads.

7% eden.one part broken universe
android 1992
true
tears of the maiden

bionic metatarsals
perch of the harpy

home inside the Holocene

hey,prophecy-breaker, be cool.

the shame sits on the belly like the opposite of adequacy. in the yard, shirt open and tanning,  the last few years have done poorly in this respect. down- hill since the incident with the knee
and the subsequent dormancy of the legs that used to go
everywhere.
i think
burning here feels right.

.

its amazing what bodies can be

from one moment to the next






























.

even now,
in the city of your keeping. pillars are erected in the name of those rings that drag across the pads of your fragile fingertips
and in the valley places, we break your hands.
i carry you around in dark tepid forests
and in the wet parts of your lungs-
we dine.
and in the outer ocean
where the lovely bundles of sinew inside your calves curl around each other to keep warm-
we force out our cries.
we gunned down our best chances.
we built upwards towards the sky.

i came to the tower when they went to worship the origin of dead
laptop fans
we want the hum like planes going by ready to drop bombs on babies-
balm of the backs of your hands-
a short- sharp, shifting weight. like the memory of a mother's dress
a weeping, like others before.
and even now,
i dilate down to your size.
i find ways of getting through to you.
i strangle out the folds in my skin.
there, lost bodies convulse to freejazz as the ship fails to come back down.
and the little black dots behind your knuckles shimmer on your bones.

for tom, ill in heaven.
not normal
hive life.
fin, lone mortal hive.
(*** fine lone mortal.)
if he love mortal inn,
non-mortal if he live.

/.                    /.                    /.    
Beside the comb-prong fingers ,
Bristle-skinned searchparty ,
Moon mounted
Pillow rider

True face
Throne

Horn-headed for
Elk meat, where it seeks
Home

twist, root-******
beneath the
warm soil of
the summertime

their teeth
scatter
like hopeless seedbeds for
a
fruitless, early harvest -
it's not summertime .

it's the heat-death of the
universe .

it's my\
ears

red and screaming
to be
hit with something

real.

And there it was-
I'll tell you all the truth you ask of me-
Let all of my hesitation- reservations- love-
Pass by unnoticed- unheeded- misheard-

Be it strange- or be it my aptitude towards the unholy,
Whether the soft touch of the willow-fed irises-
Or the half-life glare of nighthawks, posed aloof and aloft-
In full conscious awareness of their physicalities-
With willful composure- and heads turned just so.

Do you consider us family?
We are together, as humans.

We carry immense burden and responsibility.

Do you respect living things?
Have you ever looked at the Earth and seen it?

In the game of life and death, which side are you really on?



Think hard before you answer
                                                       .

with a haze that crosses me out like a lie on a check list
dawn walks into the room in post-rough-*******-aesthetic ,

packaged in japanese newspapers
that de-ray the windowbeams-
telescoping out into my space
and that of other hypnotees.  
dulcet to the sound of missile-fire
disperfection is her pose

and yet,
springtime is a shedable love

is a scale-less basin for memory
sebum goblet . bedside cup.
eyes are a
worldnet for sweeping.the
lost-aloft
and wing fold/ed
:things

Catch.
Catch.
Store.

like bugs on the windshield //
like the pesticide-genocide that hides that
History
from clouding
our road-bright
viiew  ever again.

pretty
skin on the screen

pretty much ***** the real
away.

Dishrag.heart
Heads back,
Homeless.

My tongue is taken in yours
like an egg
Being dragged down into the lungs
Choking up
Promises,
As a car door slams
Outside;
As a screen door slides out of the way;
As a cloud passes over the yolk of the sun.






Dogs harm the silence, like I, your waist
Gripping too tightly
And letting
Shoes fall to the ground.

White on maple arms
Three black stripes on the side of branded
Synthetic upper
Style.
My hair
In your eyes .
And yours-
Between the gaps in couch
cushions_

oh my god,
this group message from 2008
between my now girlfriend,
the other girl that was very interested me at the time (the first to wear my sweatshirts- the one i thought more likely at the time),
and many others i already begin to forget.
  
i know now,
more than ever
that i really am going to die
someday.

Scale leaf daughter of deep grandmothers

I see your pride and honor

Do you not see the Earth?

if you die - gilt bronze colossus :
                chinese take-out
                  chicken fingers
                  box open
right in the middle of town.


everyone will know, what
you knew

and it was only people
trying .




and it didn’t matter what was
real,
only
what they believed with all their
hearts .

that bird plays freejazz second only to ornette coleman
in the cool and dewy pre-dawn.
the wet, bounding notes
are
suspended from the hillside like -
flesh

It* comes each time
a microbe dies.
every time a colony of mold is bleached out- at every whim of the
weekendwarrior that plucks
thedandelions.

mygenerational failure.loss of god_the next political disaster.
they get it out of their system like ****.in times of peace, etc.
the
end
of things will find us> and each consecutive *******-
around
ends a future that might have
been.each bite taken takes from something
else.
we think we are so different.we both deserve *end and deliverance
from it.

the end of all things happens in every hospital ward
every day.
every city.every cave. on every spoon in the restaurant.

It's
happening in your gut.

each time it's different. and still you worry about it like a
truth.
doom, you say.
well, it
is doom you want.
i could give it to you.              most
anyone could
if the conditions were
right
no.

not my style,
today.     you live.

and the whole of the world
shook
like a box of
vipers

it’s enough
to cut gemstones out of that look
in
your
broken eyes,

string a string of beads to prey
upon our
Hearts

a perilous mess in
matter-land

a clock to make you
mad

a time to enjoy the
art

Was what this nation is told to have been founded upon

The Secular pursuit of reason, self determination,
And the triumph of the human mind
Over dogma and the disparities of false witness

Your god died long ago
You seek only to resurrect
Suffering  

Don’t misdirect my words
Just because to lie to yourself, unable to see yourself as you are-

You are blind to the obvious consequences of your actions

And for that you have my pity and hate.

Yet, the pity grows ever weaker

the harm storm of california
and the titanium world is
beautiful

smiling back at you
with those tinted, 2-car garage eyes

and a view of
eternity, so long as you don’t
check
back later.


for those not yet gone numb
where the market demands it,
life is
__

:


And all the fads function as the cyclic wheelings, more real than the lowest common denominators.
And that plain way serves only as an anchor to continuity, never as a true path for exclusive modeling.

There is only one truth
And it’s hard to
Remember

And the young
May dance
And sing

While [we] can.
  


This mean world makes
Meanies of us all

the s-curve of the soft **** in the bathtub

wrapt around one leg
and pressed against the hideous yellow
ceramic.
the water is turned up too hot
it rinses over the back like a failed ritual
,the sins will not be washed clean
,no one will be forgiven

hair is only pushed around in patterns
around the body  from the dripping
flow .
art is not seen or remembered
amidst
the dangers of winding down for the evening

a man-shaped hole in the air shifts around the room, making currents. it’s not the first time that air has been moving. the vacuum-heart draws everything into it, as might be expected .but to see it happen , is something
more
than expectation,alone, may satisfy .

the void-love
grows.

the hole in the air wants to tell you he feels
the same

Long dying tubes of fluorescent light
Read like far away stars against the blackened concrete roof .

If I try, I can put my self outside - swimming in it
As we make blurred afterimages through other peoples’ windows

Jostling in our carpeted seats, inside the traffic’s galactic hum

We are
Left-overs
From the
big dig

To traveling pilgrims

And the exit

as the nostrils clear
           air and earth
as mouths loop around anthems without countries.
as we bloom inside.(not out)
(not ours) (not sweeping us up in it.)

we catch eachother in definitions only.
it's like trying to be grown .
tropical plants sit in clay pots by the window

+your rugburn smile breaks\      / open and spills out over
everyone.

+your fingernail teeth.wash me away

i felt it also.fainting also. fearing all the things that rat us out to the
u n i n d o c t r i n a t e d

that eat us out with one ear against the wall

that normie   ****.

that sunburn skin.that
tankline brea
k

i take

these pictures in my head instead of
you

Your name is a desert flower
Handed out to me
In the readying dusk.
The canyon walls
Pass a soft light back and forth like Rumors  

Nourishing  no lost soldiers in this valley .

In breaking several fat leaves from the stalk,
I expose cross-sections tapped for undrinkable  fluids


It is spoken again.
And justly.

My wool sleeves push dry against the earth.
Padding me.

The smoothed edges peel back for flesh
The torn finger hangs from the skin like dumbed ornament
Wagging falsely
Unwilling to begin the slow decay now promised .


Give me time.
Time.
I will ferment a new thing to drink you
And be domesticated [ by the sea ]

be awoken
from your cot by the silence of dry lightning.and the promise of
windviolent in the treetops.bendingthethinnerbranches.shaking the
leaves fromtheir:hotandhumid slumber.and then the sirens:from the
centerof camp.runninglikemad: as the rain. as the mildew munches.figure\itoutquick just howcoldthewaterinthe atmo is.hitinthe
face.thedirtpath.wetcanvassflaps. slapping.rivers wrenchingthe soilfrom the earth.tearing sand.huddletogetherinthe mess-hall.sittingon benches.lying ontables.outside:striking the flagpoleand
thebuildingandthetrees.losing power, losing radio. no
morewalkietalkies.some one

mother, new path
a homeless, homebound hope

/

dig me out from this cocoon
by hand or by mountain

changeling, change
husk-harm armor, i



/
sea glass
storm word
steer this
soul-herd


asunder

these baby teeth in little (plastic) baggies
[somewhere in my parents' bedroom]

thedog they never met    ,    teething gently on my fingers and silver ring.
these mornings of getting up.
and days of doing all the daily things,

steak+egg breakfast
front porch clutter
sitting on the rug, looking through rubbermaid bins


          •old t-shirt
          •woolen socks
          •die-cast airplanes


dust in the air and [skin on my palms]
yellow film of last year's pollen over laundry baskets that are no longer mine