.


The heavy weight of the dog at my feet
She is hot through the blanket
The night is crisp and dry
Outside
I shift my legs
Bending them at the knees as I turn sideways
She curls
And fills the space.
Rolling into a tight ball and pushing against  the me that has become
Burrow for her body

It is the first cold night.

And I have seen growth in time passing

same old imagery
same old annoyance lv. threat
same old s-s-s-summertime
and the living
do so

i am synthesized under a microscope
like being shot through by many arrows
slowly-
slidedark around the corners of the glass.
i twist and roll .      belly over
ribs
as her eyes, chalky, talk to me.
i take it
toothily
soil-minded, both.
heads with weapons.

gritty gums is love+
dim viewfinder is love+

dust in the screen-shine
and shoes under the table

[my] cheeks are drying out
each time they are swabbed.

[i could be i n the world
i could be in this world]

the watchband is tightening. as the arms
are . swelling
as the sea is rising
rinsing salt [and other semi-conductors]
around in my mouth
caking crystals deeply into pores and
dimples

like thefloodlights         coming     o  n
to **** with the lives of bats
and bugs .     both

we've had it too good to (****)
we sit in soft bedrooms but
feel like we are freezing in the street
with a hard fistful of hairy knuckles and bad years
we talk like we've been there,
we sing like we've cut our lips open on the wind-
pushing our hands into our pockets down to the elbow to get out of it.
walk tall or sling low by the hold of our railroad boots.
sharpen our pencils with swiss-army-knives,
pick out our splinters with it
but we have too few,
       we've not learned to hold things carelessly enough-
not learned to hurt hard enough.

Back of the fridge .

Clay handed Ghost
Dabbling in self-
Preservation

Not just anything.

Not,”just”

care or be cared through.

home sick from work [with a bug]
the curtains look out further than the yard next door
fog hangs loose about its peak like breath
the dishes in the sink fume up to meet it

the house is dying.
things are dying in my gut.
                       yet fuji stands.

i vandalize the space between peachfuzz
hairs.
you

render me worthless and.clean

cooking in the august irradiation

growing .

kortirion breathes still ∆ though it be but in shallow waves pulled down through  uneroded sands / static filtering the gleaming lonley and untouched through its unknowable knowless pores

↗⤴⤵ out.

I will protect your rights to do so,

While you seek to diminish all others

I saw a man once,
walking slowly.

and
once behind the plexiglass wall of a bus stop overhang
I saw an advertisement that read
BLONDE IS GOD
and the model was thin- and her skin was enhanced by zeros and ones-
and I was entranced by her.
and she was GOd
and she was made to be beautiful.
and she was made out of beautiful.
and then, on my way home I passed by the place again and her picture was gone
and instead was the image of a raven haired beauty-
***** and lustsome with bedroom eyes
and she looked at me and said,
I AM EVERYTHING
and smiled, adding bluntly,
BUY MY BODY AND DRINK MY BLOOD.
I gazed upon her airbrushed ******* and breathed,
No,
I refuse you,
BLONDE IS GOD
and bleach touch-up foam, Our Savior.
and *** is God
and the Natick Mall is my favorite place to be
and I love you.

and I am i
and barely . -
and
YOU ARE EVERYTHING
and I will always adore you.
and

everything i have ever done, becomes quantified in this, tell me how to be beautiful- tell me how to be worthless-  tell me-



once, behind the plexiglass wall of a bus stop overhang
I saw an advertisement that read
BLONDE IS GOD

with my left hand resting forcibly on the soft-spot of my temple. daring myself to push all the way through.  thistime.
the heat darting down from the gutless open

searing my body from the hot.
i never tan, its either sunburn or skin cancer
and
if i could
i would
reach over and pluck out your lunatic thoughts and stick them in a mason jar on top of my
bureau. by my heap of things.
alongside the fat, waxy tallow of mellow-dramatic candles that i never did manage to get.

Petri dish
Dead and cold under the little broken bulb in the silt-covered microscope

The hum of the refrigeration units
Suddenly cuts out
Leaving a deafening silence - even truer than before
The emergency power, now finally depleted
.

there is the
creeping up. like a pale yellow blanket strangling hairless limbs
when it's too hot outside for us to brood properly-
and the oppression of the sun sends away our nuances in favor of a blunt
summer glow.
with all the neatness of a flat wash on the new sidewalks.
we, dumbed down and desensitized.
our fingernails sleeping at the bottom of cracks in the hot cement. like ants that crawl out of the dead grass and up under your skirt.
just as the wind tosses your hair nervously under the ugly sun.
just as you laughed at a harmless car crash.
just as the makeup running like a thin slip of tar.sliding deeper into the slits of your eyes.
just as Hemingway's tobacco-stained teeth gnawing at your ear.
just as my words forgot to feel around in the dark of my mouth to find you.
just as the razor-burns on your legs started to itch.
just as i cut my thumb opening up a bottle. and wiped it off on my shirt

somewhere
out there the radio sits unthrown. and the window
unbroken.
we fall into complacency.
we wake up early
poems go unwritten.
heroes **** up
jackets lose buttons.the glass man goes out of business-

I was her boredom
As the monster cut up the city

We ordered food. and sat to wait out our imminent destruction

Disassembling  art installations that had grown out of my hair


Going to and from.


There will be no Magical  girl transformation sequence .
There will be no battle. And triumph

I was the summer.
Burning other people. while we stayed inside
For most of it

pavement .
it’s spine is
black

like
mine.


stunted trees line the boundaries by the station
they will be cut down the next time someone decides to rearrange the
parking lot
out of
boredom

teardrop stone
arrowhead mother
copper-red veins flecked with crystalline dust
[iridescent]
[irrelevant]
you are just some fat piece of flagstone-
broke off corner of some stone paver-
seated in an empty flowerpot beside 30+lbs. of rusted chain in an old screwtop pretzel jar

from dishes and the dry air
as the light upon the world brightens:
so too, the shadows starken

take care of your things .

some call megod.          
my fingers are a housewife that wants you dead for wearing spaghetti straps
and a hairy chest.

she watches the news
as
her son and step-daughter **** in the basement.
they lean in place in nothing but those white cotton socks that get wet and sticky from the laundry detergent spilt across the rubber-
mat.

the *** stained push-up will get left down there.
the machine will tear it out of its wire armatures.

outside the sun is burning the lawn.

outside
the fat black flies are *******.
they drop, heavy- inside the windowsill
after 4 days of fury. the good fight
is lost.
their wings are sparkling

like gems.

Alphabet rooms : each room one - two letters

All walls and ceilings covered in collage of illustrations and paraphernalia of terms starting with the letter

All themed around human sexuality

The hallways, small
And covered in monitors
Showing live feeds of camgirls
Housed in the units above

A deviant dictionary
A liminal space

She takes me there
There is another girl she knows in the hallway
She says hi
By

jokingly simulating an act on her in pantomime of what had played on the screen we just passed in the hall


Room stop
T

For thanks

the new milk stains her blouse. ruining it for the evening
we push legitimacy at it like a warm bath

the wires outside dangling from dead trees
and under the ground, are
    bringing
    things
    places


we make a pact to explore the transhumanist desire of language to escape    now-space
our
less than opaque skin will hurt itself trying to be                                                    more

unu­sed, falling from what passes for grace,
it will be expectable but idiosyncratic to the
                                  genre.

she is a force of nature
you mistake her for ****-doll. but you will be corrected

her lips are shining like rug burn☆
and the typos become art.

the favors search, inching upwards, laughing as we find the best parts

the whites of her eyes are old masking tape yet
my
teeth are grinding like wet bark on the car door.
leaving paint behind to mark off where we have been_
in a gesture that says
we existed.

the whites of her eyes are old masking tape.
the rest of the world is likewise

my
teeth     are grinding like wet bark on the
  car door.
leaving behind
paint          to mark off where we've
been.
and to show, in a more general sense, that we existed
     at      all

i see her dying   along with the others

yet
her lips are shining like rug-burn

and
there is something left to be extracted


we imagine my head against her *******
the new milk ruining her blouse for the evening

marbled agaisnt the grey sky

it's the kind of self-loathing that just radiates
it's like what i imagine leaving a spoon in the microwave would be like.
it's like wearing a sweater in spring- when the day turns out a lot nicer than originally forecast
and i am just left sweating and fuzzy

Passion poltergeist

Music chamber.



Wanderer on the Road.

i want you to ask
me if i've done it
lately.i want to be
reminded that achievement is not permanent.
that precedent is not virtue
that i am failing if i m not
hateful of my own creation

he was hit by a tour bus
dragged for a few dozen yards i think
then it rounded the corner and left
him there

thedriver didn't notice.
how could she, so high up there
hand on the PA
eyes on her passengers in the rearview :


•30 or so chinese students in some sort of program
•one fat and badly sunburnt family, the mother with a sloppy drawl
•two older russian men - beards both of them
• a reasonably well-adjusted looking couple with matching hats


meanwhile he there in the road, no longer wore a hat

the other pedestrians were not happy.
less grieved- but more just angry in that generic urban way
cursing and imagining that it could have been them
(no body uses the walk signal anymore)

tangle like reasons.upon the hoary
forest floor.as pad-turned feet
s w e e p
across the
carpeted multitude of soft
spines discarded beneath us
/
/and until better shelters are found
/
these low hanging boughs swing like the
uncrossing of legs:and we are left shimmeringintheslimymoonlight

we
race.against the wheeling constellation-
fragment as it penetrates
the wind-caught canopy, engulfing us_and
we dare it to
tumble
down
like
a
prophesy upon our dream-concussed heads.



webs of sinew.trailing between our
teethy=mouths

like a trap for the
world.


like a hope-nest hunt.

and the rolling drums in yet deeper places
   gun down the
Night

"i know that smell"
he said
"those tweety-bird treats from the ice-cream truck-
with those weird gumball eyes
i haven't thought about those since my little-league days
i always ******.

i was young for my grade and very thin and gangly-
i ****** except for that one year, when everyoneelse moved on and

me and that one other kid who was also young for our grade
stayed in the league.
we killed it that year
i'm not proud. but it was our chance to shine

it's amazing how these things can come back to you."

i said yeah

a bit later on my way to the train station, there was a homeless
woman
with oxygen tubes and a wheelchair
just slumped back in that chair. supine. directly in front of the door to the stairs
eyes closed
baking in the (late day) sun

i didn't check to see if she was alive.
i though about it though

Blue
Sky dome
We
Roam
With entangled
Groans

And the saxophone
And the saxophone

Do you feel like there is so much which is obvious,

That no one bothers to see right in front of them?

And everyone is playing the stupidest game of make-believe ever invented?

You play along when you care to, you know the rules by now-

You’re good. You can be anything.



But you’ve never bought-in.

is:
fingers through hair,
breath in the morning,
a good t-shirt.

where memory is safe,
the right sound-track,
a path.

and
there may yet be a world left to fill with
hope.

found by an ex roommate of a girlfriend in jewish brooklyn . transplanted from one major american city to the next .
someone else's divorce
slowly replacing someone else's family home.
i move in finally as she moves out in  l a y e r s ,  taking last her cat.

the squeaky floorboards still sound like her.

It trickles down to me like dry rain.
I beat out on the earth to measure my time

The soil looks at me, as if I were strange.

He
Humbled me

She
Humbled me


The river running, humbled me away.

The difference between not having access
And not currently accessing :

We exist in the motion blur between moments

We bridge that gap every instant

Rather than be fused into paralysis within a caged world
We flutter through it all like
Glass breaking quietly


The machines do not have time.
Only a map of each moment .

We are
Striders between.

//
The ladder of ribs
Up along the skeleton, there.
Bones made of shame (and milk-myth),bleaching under
Sun and
Moon.
//
Tanned
Leather pouch softens to the morning,
Fallen from where a neck used to
Bundle sinew and rumble out
Something made of air
//
Still stuck-frozen to the hard soil and leaf-
Litter .


Ah oom, ah oom .

By a lime-green poison dart frog bracelet
Glowing in the black light

and its hot salmon glow, ripe as
swollen peaches ready to fall out of the sky
and into snarling haiku of roses

i am the water rising.
rushing over your body-
ready to
reanimate

and

you fell
and she sighed

and

he scarcely heard the turgid gasping
of his
muse

.           , ...........                       .........
                          |                 |                  \
                           \                 /                      \    
                                                                ­      \
             /|      i need to make      |\             \
            / |   myself feel special  | \              \
.--------    |   regardless of the     |  \          ..,.      
               |   impact on others.  |
                |                                    |
                |                                   |
               |                                     |
               |                                   _.|

in the power of human beings to change the world
and the enormous weight of responsibility that comes along with that.

Yet, I ever wander hillsides
Making my way, often, upwards

I will be ready to fight to protect American democracy (for real)
And the secular ideas of the Enlightenment that this nation was actually founded upon .

Drop the ******* *******.
Wake up from this hibernation and fear.

Stand against the deranged lunacy of the American conservative doomsday cult.

Those ******* took the snake flag :
“Don’t tread on me!”, they shout from their filthy, ****-stained lips.

That flag does not belong to them. Pry it from them.

That flag stands for Reason and Secularism .  That flag changed the course of history and Modern thought forever.

They do not seek revolution -
They seek the erasure of all
Human
Kindness.

———-


Celebrate the Human Condition.
Seek joy, but not at the expense of others.

Learn and grow.

Learn and grow, you ******* stunted cogs in someone else’s war machine!

Learn and grow!

but for the span of this
     /rolling/
        fall : we
may yet

shuffle.away
at the end
     of

      i
      t



p e t a l - s c u f f e d ,
yet
s t e m - s u r v i v e d .

everyone thinks themselves the hero of their own story,
but that simply can't be true.
for those of us that accept the comfort of villainy,
it is much more liberating.
its not  that i adhere to any great evil,
its just that i don't care for such vanity.
heroes ****
villains simply walk away
god kills like a hero.
I watch and walk away.

Wind tinted blue eyes sitting atop  the car radio
and scanning the Ch.s up and down in
search of
Seattle
Some lamb headed city
Dome knuckled in fear of
Wait times at the register
Wailing in the backseat forever

Keeping me sane between
insane-leaning morning lights

I fight to keep relevant  beside
Your suede smile

Amidst your
Life-like passion,
Daring to dance like sheets of ice skirting across the road rather than deeply, like beds made without love

Drastically reducing the recitation length of
Origin stories
Before they are told


Dreaming of sparrows where
Cooper’s hawks only - reel above sunroof skyline
(Owl-bellied in the breeze)

Restaurant restart until
We hone home.

set.
i don’t want you to think that i am anything but the attic stairs.you will know me well by the dust and dryseasoned timbers.i hold your artifacts safe for later.short to long term storageit’s always a bad estimation until it all sets in.rinse and re-but.the birds are all car alarms around here_it’s their version of neoclassical heavymetal.i know you know

we must become our own warm ambience
and scratch the hardwood floors with our love
pushing across the
room

calling the beats
calling the sea-roughed wannabe sailor-types

calling the ham radio in your head
calling the used binoculars and the clear sky of a warm night’s impulse

calling down through this
anthropological migration pattern
for
the trading card
charm
of
new kinds of
Fake.

it’s beach day for the //bad.guys
you.          better
catch the shoreline before it’s sold away

with
something
worth tethering to .