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kfaye Jul 2018
if you die - gilt bronze colossus :
                chinese take-out
                  chicken fingers
                  box open
right in the middle of town.


everyone will know, what
you knew
kfaye Jul 2023
and it was only people
trying .




and it didn’t matter what was
real,
only
what they believed with all their
hearts .
kfaye Nov 2016
that bird plays freejazz second only to ornette coleman
in the cool and dewy pre-dawn.
the wet, bounding notes
are
suspended from the hillside like -
flesh
kfaye Nov 2016
It* comes each time
a microbe dies.
every time a colony of mold is bleached out- at every whim of the
weekendwarrior that plucks
thedandelions.

mygenerational failure.loss of god_the next political disaster.
they get it out of their system like ****.in times of peace, etc.
the
end
of things will find us> and each consecutive *******-
around
ends a future that might have
been.each bite taken takes from something
else.
we think we are so different.we both deserve *end
and deliverance
from it.

the end of all things happens in every hospital ward
every day.
every city.every cave. on every spoon in the restaurant.

It's
happening in your gut.


each time it's different. and still you worry about it like a
truth.
doom, you say.
well, it
is doom you want.
i could give it to you.              most
anyone could
if the conditions were
right
no.

not my style,
today.     you live.
kfaye Dec 2023
and the whole of the world
shook
like a box of
vipers

it’s enough
to cut gemstones out of that look
in
your
broken eyes,

string a string of beads to prey
upon our
Hearts

a perilous mess in
matter-land

a clock to make you
mad

a time to enjoy the
art
kfaye Oct 2022
Was what this nation is told to have been founded upon

The Secular pursuit of reason, self determination,
And the triumph of the human mind
Over dogma and the disparities of false witness

Your god died long ago
You seek only to resurrect
Suffering  

Don’t misdirect my words
Just because to lie to yourself, unable to see yourself as you are-

You are blind to the obvious consequences of your actions

And for that you have my pity and hate.

Yet, the pity grows ever weaker
kfaye Jun 2024
the harm storm of california
and the titanium world is
beautiful

smiling back at you
with those tinted, 2-car garage eyes

and a view of
eternity, so long as you don’t
check
back later.


for those not yet gone numb
where the market demands it,
life is
__
kfaye Jul 2023
:


And all the fads function as the cyclic wheelings, more real than the lowest common denominators.
And that plain way serves only as an anchor to continuity, never as a true path for exclusive modeling.

There is only one truth
And it’s hard to
Remember

And the young
May dance
And sing

While [we] can.
  


This mean world makes
Meanies of us all
kfaye Feb 2019
the s-curve of the soft **** in the bathtub

wrapt around one leg
and pressed against the hideous yellow
ceramic.
the water is turned up too hot
it rinses over the back like a failed ritual
,the sins will not be washed clean
,no one will be forgiven

hair is only pushed around in patterns
around the body  from the dripping
flow .
art is not seen or remembered
amidst
the dangers of winding down for the evening
kfaye Aug 2023
a man-shaped hole in the air shifts around the room, making currents. it’s not the first time that air has been moving. the vacuum-heart draws everything into it, as might be expected .but to see it happen , is something
more
than expectation,alone, may satisfy .

the void-love
grows.

the hole in the air wants to tell you he feels
the same
kfaye Apr 2022
Long dying tubes of fluorescent light
Read like far away stars against the blackened concrete roof .

If I try, I can put my self outside - swimming in it
As we make blurred afterimages through other peoples’ windows

Jostling in our carpeted seats, inside the traffic’s galactic hum

We are
Left-overs
From the
big dig

To traveling pilgrims

And the exit
kfaye Aug 2023
as the nostrils clear
           air and earth
as mouths loop around anthems without countries.
as we bloom inside.(not out)
(not ours) (not sweeping us up in it.)

we catch eachother in definitions only.
it's like trying to be grown .
tropical plants sit in clay pots by the window

+your rugburn smile breaks\      / open and spills out over
everyone.

+your fingernail teeth.wash me away

i felt it also.fainting also. fearing all the things that rat us out to the
u n i n d o c t r i n a t e d

that eat us out with one ear against the wall

that normie   ****.

that sunburn skin.that
tankline brea
k

i take

these pictures in my head instead of
you
kfaye Nov 2019
Your name is a desert flower
Handed out to me
In the readying dusk.
The canyon walls
Pass a soft light back and forth like Rumors  

Nourishing  no lost soldiers in this valley .

In breaking several fat leaves from the stalk,
I expose cross-sections tapped for undrinkable  fluids


It is spoken again.
And justly.

My wool sleeves push dry against the earth.
Padding me.

The smoothed edges peel back for flesh
The torn finger hangs from the skin like dumbed ornament
Wagging falsely
Unwilling to begin the slow decay now promised .


Give me time.
Time.
I will ferment a new thing to drink you
And be domesticated [ by the sea ]
kfaye Oct 2012
be awoken
from your cot by the silence of dry lightning.and the promise of
windviolent in the treetops.bendingthethinnerbranches.shaking the
leaves fromtheir:hotandhumid slumber.and then the sirens:from the
centerof camp.runninglikemad: as the rain. as the mildew munches.figure\itoutquick just howcoldthewaterinthe atmo is.hitinthe
face.thedirtpath.wetcanvassflaps. slapping.rivers wrenchingthe soilfrom the earth.tearing sand.huddletogetherinthe mess-hall.sittingon benches.lying ontables.outside:striking the flagpoleand
thebuildingandthetrees.losing power, losing radio. no
morewalkietalkies.some one
kfaye Jun 2024
mother, new path
a homeless, homebound hope

/

dig me out from this cocoon
by hand or by mountain

changeling, change
husk-harm armor, i



/
sea glass
storm word
steer this
soul-herd


asunder
kfaye Jul 2018
these baby teeth in little (plastic) baggies
[somewhere in my parents' bedroom]

thedog they never met    ,    teething gently on my fingers and silver ring.
these mornings of getting up.
and days of doing all the daily things,

steak+egg breakfast
front porch clutter
sitting on the rug, looking through rubbermaid bins


          •old t-shirt
          •woolen socks
          •die-cast airplanes


dust in the air and [skin on my palms]
yellow film of last year's pollen over laundry baskets that are no longer mine
kfaye Oct 2018
.


The heavy weight of the dog at my feet
She is hot through the blanket
The night is crisp and dry
Outside
I shift my legs
Bending them at the knees as I turn sideways
She curls
And fills the space.
Rolling into a tight ball and pushing against  the me that has become
Burrow for her body

It is the first cold night.

And I have seen growth in time passing
kfaye May 2024
same old imagery
same old annoyance lv. threat
same old s-s-s-summertime
and the living
do so
kfaye Aug 2018
i am synthesized under a microscope
like being shot through by many arrows
slowly-
slidedark around the corners of the glass.
i twist and roll .      belly over
ribs
as her eyes, chalky, talk to me.
i take it
toothily
soil-minded, both.
heads with weapons.

gritty gums is love+
dim viewfinder is love+

dust in the screen-shine
and shoes under the table

[my] cheeks are drying out
each time they are swabbed.

[i could be i n the world
i could be in this world]

the watchband is tightening. as the arms
are . swelling
as the sea is rising
rinsing salt [and other semi-conductors]
around in my mouth
caking crystals deeply into pores and
dimples

like thefloodlights         coming     o  n
to **** with the lives of bats
and bugs .     both
kfaye Feb 2014
we've had it too good to (****)
we sit in soft bedrooms but
feel like we are freezing in the street
with a hard fistful of hairy knuckles and bad years
we talk like we've been there,
we sing like we've cut our lips open on the wind-
pushing our hands into our pockets down to the elbow to get out of it.
walk tall or sling low by the hold of our railroad boots.
sharpen our pencils with swiss-army-knives,
pick out our splinters with it
but we have too few,
       we've not learned to hold things carelessly enough-
not learned to hurt hard enough.
kfaye Nov 2023
Back of the fridge .

Clay handed Ghost
Dabbling in self-
Preservation

Not just anything.

Not,”just”
kfaye Nov 2024
care or be cared through.
kfaye Jul 2018
home sick from work [with a bug]
the curtains look out further than the yard next door
fog hangs loose about its peak like breath
the dishes in the sink fume up to meet it

the house is dying.
things are dying in my gut.
                       yet fuji stands.
kfaye Oct 2016
i vandalize the space between peachfuzz
hairs.
you

render me worthless and.clean
kfaye Aug 2023
cooking in the august irradiation

growing .
kfaye Dec 2016
kortirion breathes still ∆ though it be but in shallow waves pulled down through  uneroded sands / static filtering the gleaming lonley and untouched through its unknowable knowless pores

↗⤴⤵ out.
kfaye Oct 2022
I will protect your rights to do so,

While you seek to diminish all others
GOD
kfaye May 2012
GOD
I saw a man once,
walking slowly.

and
once behind the plexiglass wall of a bus stop overhang
I saw an advertisement that read
BLONDE IS GOD
and the model was thin- and her skin was enhanced by zeros and ones-
and I was entranced by her.
and she was GOd
and she was made to be beautiful.
and she was made out of beautiful.
and then, on my way home I passed by the place again and her picture was gone
and instead was the image of a raven haired beauty-
***** and lustsome with bedroom eyes
and she looked at me and said,
I AM EVERYTHING
and smiled, adding bluntly,
BUY MY BODY AND DRINK MY BLOOD.
I gazed upon her airbrushed ******* and breathed,
No,
I refuse you,
BLONDE IS GOD
and bleach touch-up foam, Our Savior.
and *** is God
and the Natick Mall is my favorite place to be
and I love you.

and I am i
and barely . -
and
YOU ARE EVERYTHING
and I will always adore you.
and

everything i have ever done, becomes quantified in this, tell me how to be beautiful- tell me how to be worthless-  tell me-



once, behind the plexiglass wall of a bus stop overhang
I saw an advertisement that read
BLONDE IS GOD
kfaye May 2013
with my left hand resting forcibly on the soft-spot of my temple. daring myself to push all the way through.  thistime.
the heat darting down from the gutless open

searing my body from the hot.
i never tan, its either sunburn or skin cancer
and
if i could
i would
reach over and pluck out your lunatic thoughts and stick them in a mason jar on top of my
bureau. by my heap of things.
alongside the fat, waxy tallow of mellow-dramatic candles that i never did manage to get.
kfaye Mar 20
it’s a crisp morning out there and -”



[.picture this, an exhaustive list of all of our contemporary superstitions

not just the ones that people you think of as “different” have-

like, for real.

what memories have mobs formed?

what will be remembered of our days in style of :

.bloodletting
.electroshock therapy
.human sacrifice


what zealocies reman deep in the bones of those who wear the
        frocks/blue/red ties/lab coats


let this not become an “Us v. Them” moment


let this be a moment
of

remembering to
stop and smell
the torture chambers


of our home-cooked inquisitions

and the var. sundry insignias of our
time (here)



it’s a small enough virtue .]
kfaye May 2023
Petri dish
Dead and cold under the little broken bulb in the silt-covered microscope

The hum of the refrigeration units
Suddenly cuts out
Leaving a deafening silence - even truer than before
The emergency power, now finally depleted
.
kfaye Jul 2014
there is the
creeping up. like a pale yellow blanket strangling hairless limbs
when it's too hot outside for us to brood properly-
and the oppression of the sun sends away our nuances in favor of a blunt
summer glow.
with all the neatness of a flat wash on the new sidewalks.
we, dumbed down and desensitized.
our fingernails sleeping at the bottom of cracks in the hot cement. like ants that crawl out of the dead grass and up under your skirt.
just as the wind tosses your hair nervously under the ugly sun.
just as you laughed at a harmless car crash.
just as the makeup running like a thin slip of tar.sliding deeper into the slits of your eyes.
just as Hemingway's tobacco-stained teeth gnawing at your ear.
just as my words forgot to feel around in the dark of my mouth to find you.
just as the razor-burns on your legs started to itch.
just as i cut my thumb opening up a bottle. and wiped it off on my shirt
kfaye Jan 2016
somewhere
out there the radio sits unthrown. and the window
unbroken.
we fall into complacency.
we wake up early
poems go unwritten.
heroes **** up
jackets lose buttons.the glass man goes out of business-
H.
kfaye Nov 2018
H.
I was her boredom
As the monster cut up the city

We ordered food. and sat to wait out our imminent destruction

Disassembling  art installations that had grown out of my hair


Going to and from.


There will be no Magical  girl transformation sequence .
There will be no battle. And triumph

I was the summer.
Burning other people. while we stayed inside
For most of it
kfaye Jun 2023
pavement .
it’s spine is
black

like
mine.


stunted trees line the boundaries by the station
they will be cut down the next time someone decides to rearrange the
parking lot
out of
boredom
kfaye Nov 2012
teardrop stone
arrowhead mother
copper-red veins flecked with crystalline dust
[iridescent]
[irrelevant]
you are just some fat piece of flagstone-
broke off corner of some stone paver-
seated in an empty flowerpot beside 30+lbs. of rusted chain in an old screwtop pretzel jar
and i knew you were.
kfaye Jan 2024
from dishes and the dry air
as the light upon the world brightens:
so too, the shadows starken

take care of your things .
kfaye Sep 2023
some call megod.          
my fingers are a housewife that wants you dead for wearing spaghetti straps
and a hairy chest.

she watches the news
as
her son and step-daughter **** in the basement.
they lean in place in nothing but those white cotton socks that get wet and sticky from the laundry detergent spilt across the rubber-
mat.

the *** stained push-up will get left down there.
the machine will tear it out of its wire armatures.

outside the sun is burning the lawn.

outside
the fat black flies are *******.
they drop, heavy- inside the windowsill
after 4 days of fury. the good fight
is lost.
their wings are sparkling

like gems.
kfaye Jul 2023
Alphabet rooms : each room one - two letters

All walls and ceilings covered in collage of illustrations and paraphernalia of terms starting with the letter

All themed around human sexuality

The hallways, small
And covered in monitors
Showing live feeds of camgirls
Housed in the units above

A deviant dictionary
A liminal space

She takes me there
There is another girl she knows in the hallway
She says hi
By

jokingly simulating an act on her in pantomime of what had played on the screen we just passed in the hall


Room stop
T

For thanks
kfaye Jan 2017
the new milk stains her blouse. ruining it for the evening
we push legitimacy at it like a warm bath

the wires outside dangling from dead trees
and under the ground, are
    bringing
    things
    places


we make a pact to explore the transhumanist desire of language to escape    now-space
our
less than opaque skin will hurt itself trying to be                                                    more

unu­sed, falling from what passes for grace,
it will be expectable but idiosyncratic to the
                                  genre.

she is a force of nature
you mistake her for ****-doll. but you will be corrected

her lips are shining like rug burn☆
and the typos become art.

the favors search, inching upwards, laughing as we find the best parts

the whites of her eyes are old masking tape yet
my
teeth are grinding like wet bark on the car door.
leaving paint behind to mark off where we have been_
in a gesture that says
we existed.
kfaye Mar 2018
the whites of her eyes are old masking tape.
the rest of the world is likewise

my
teeth     are grinding like wet bark on the
  car door.
leaving behind
paint          to mark off where we've
been.
and to show, in a more general sense, that we existed
     at      all

i see her dying   along with the others

yet
her lips are shining like rug-burn

and
there is something left to be extracted


we imagine my head against her *******
the new milk ruining her blouse for the evening

marbled agaisnt the grey sky
kfaye Jul 2018
it's the kind of self-loathing that just radiates
it's like what i imagine leaving a spoon in the microwave would be like.
it's like wearing a sweater in spring- when the day turns out a lot nicer than originally forecast
and i am just left sweating and fuzzy
kfaye Sep 2023
Passion poltergeist

Music chamber.



Wanderer on the Road.
kfaye May 2017
i want you to ask
me if i've done it
lately.i want to be
reminded that achievement is not permanent.
that precedent is not virtue
that i am failing if i m not
hateful of my own creation
he
kfaye Jul 2018
he
he was hit by a tour bus
dragged for a few dozen yards i think
then it rounded the corner and left
him there

thedriver didn't notice.
how could she, so high up there
hand on the PA
eyes on her passengers in the rearview :


•30 or so chinese students in some sort of program
•one fat and badly sunburnt family, the mother with a sloppy drawl
•two older russian men - beards both of them
• a reasonably well-adjusted looking couple with matching hats


meanwhile he there in the road, no longer wore a hat

the other pedestrians were not happy.
less grieved- but more just angry in that generic urban way
cursing and imagining that it could have been them
(no body uses the walk signal anymore)
kfaye Jul 2023
tangle like reasons.upon the hoary
forest floor.as pad-turned feet
s w e e p
across the
carpeted multitude of soft
spines discarded beneath us
/
/and until better shelters are found
/
these low hanging boughs swing like the
uncrossing of legs:and we are left shimmeringintheslimymoonlight

we
race.against the wheeling constellation-
fragment as it penetrates
the wind-caught canopy, engulfing us_and
we dare it to
tumble
down
like
a
prophesy upon our dream-concussed heads.



webs of sinew.trailing between our
teethy=mouths

like a trap for the
world.


like a hope-nest hunt.

and the rolling drums in yet deeper places
   gun down the
Night
kfaye Jul 2018
"i know that smell"
he said
"those tweety-bird treats from the ice-cream truck-
with those weird gumball eyes
i haven't thought about those since my little-league days
i always ******.

i was young for my grade and very thin and gangly-
i ****** except for that one year, when everyoneelse moved on and

me and that one other kid who was also young for our grade
stayed in the league.
we killed it that year
i'm not proud. but it was our chance to shine

it's amazing how these things can come back to you."

i said yeah

a bit later on my way to the train station, there was a homeless
woman
with oxygen tubes and a wheelchair
just slumped back in that chair. supine. directly in front of the door to the stairs
eyes closed
baking in the (late day) sun

i didn't check to see if she was alive.
i though about it though
kfaye Apr 2023
Blue
Sky dome
We
Roam
With entangled
Groans

And the saxophone
And the saxophone
kfaye Oct 2022
Do you feel like there is so much which is obvious,

That no one bothers to see right in front of them?

And everyone is playing the stupidest game of make-believe ever invented?

You play along when you care to, you know the rules by now-

You’re good. You can be anything.



But you’ve never bought-in.
kfaye Sep 2024
is:
fingers through hair,
breath in the morning,
a good t-shirt.

where memory is safe,
the right sound-track,
a path.

and
there may yet be a world left to fill with
hope.
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