Its spring now,
The bright rays of sun
Break through clusters of
Heavy, grey clouds.

No longer will the overcast
Sky threaten to ******* away.

From here I float, enjoying the
Muffled bird songs from under
Thick sheets of unbreaking ice
Where I will drown in silence.

I can smell the freshly cut grass,
the earthy scent welcoming me
to the new season;

I can hear the chirping of birds,
singing their melodies across
the warm summer sky;

I can see the bright beams of light,
each ray enchanting the world
around me, banishing the darkness
and despair;

I can feel the cool breeze brushing
against my scarred skin,
soothing old burns as it billows in
from the North;

I can taste the freedom now that
I've opened my windows,
expelling the nothingness which
used to haunt me... dragging me
to the daunting, dingy depths of
my deprived mind but now it's
different - I'm different.

For years I let you mold me,
   scared of letting time do its job.
I remained sheltered in your grasp,
   pushed into shape by your palms.
Each word you said sculpted my mind
   as you scraped away into my cracks,
   etching smile lines where my freedom once was.
But now your hands no longer cover my eyes,
I can see my reflection.

Brown, broken and ugly.

Sometimes I wonder how much you think of me,
was my birth a hindrance to your wellbeing
and am I now just another burden to bare?

I don't know.

I've searched for love for a long time now,
not the kind which burns in your chest,
lighting embers that shine bright with desire,
but the kind which cradles you with the soft warmth
which radiates only from the tender embrace of family.

I don't know...

You used to assure me that I was special,
your special little soldier
but now I may have been court-martialed
as I am no longer your little girl,
I am a cracked portrayal of my old shell
with nothing inside my hollow chest
but a withered hope.

I now know,
it's never going to be the same.