Look what you've done.
How could you do it?
You let her imagination slip into emotion
She's broken, you can't even tell.
She was there for you, you left
Why would you break such a pretty youthful heart?
Tell me she was wrong to believe something innocent
She's sixteen now.
She wants to make her own decisions, She can't
Help her, just man up.

I have tried to forget the scars you cost me and the tears i've wasted on the days that were not meant to be the way they were. Sometimes i hate myself for the things i did to please you, but i was stupid to think that a person like you would be mine. I live with the regret that i fell into your ruthless trap, that i loved the unlove, that i couldn't see that cheap, vicious beast in you. Cold and empty is your heart. If i could change that one thing it would the day you enter into this peaceful world.

I feel restless
mind racing
heart beating impatiently

wandering

not in darkness
far from light

no reason to feel
unsettled as I do

perhaps it is the rain

I should be content
naked beneath my sheets
smelling of lavender and mint

why should I long for a feeling
something i can neither grasp
nor describe

yet I can feel its empty weight

pressure.

bearing down on me slowly
oh how very slowly

seducing my spirit

my soul

discontent longing

for what

I do not know

A half-remembered face
But so many important memories
What happened to all of them?
What makes me forget
The other
Half of this face?

I smiled today
a genuine kind of smile
the kind of smile that is produced
when a flower looks up at you
but then guilt reminded me
that I am not allowed to be
something of such beauty
so I washed it all away in the sink
(back to normal)
-

hate
is a strong word
I assume that's why you use it
hate
is perhaps
the one emotion
I've never felt

In my dream
I will give you a long hug

You will be my blanket
And I will nuzzle the curve
Where your shoulder joins your neck
The soft lips you feel against yours will be mine

As will the light touch
As I stroke your ribs with my fingertips

I miss you.

Wish I was there to keep you company
And sleep beneath the roses

2013.01.03