You told me once
That I was the center of your world
That I was the only in a universe
That collided softly with the stars
You saw In my eyes
You once tenitivly brushed my lips
With your finger
To silence my words
Before you lowered yours so close to mine
That I could feel your heat
As if our lips were already locked together
You once whispered your love in my ear
Told me you would cross hells path for me
I never once doubted you
I never once forgot you  
I lay these floors on your grave for you
Red roses
Like the ones you gave me
The first time I met you
I'll miss you

I would travel the world
Make hundreds of friends
I would sing at the top of a tower
With the lungs and voice of steel power
I would dance on top of water
Make my passion burn hotter
I would trick the scales of fate
Dissipate every mention of hate
Be a creator of my own place
Take reign of space
I would lift my head
I would lead the army of the dead
Because I am more then a dreamer
I make impossible realer

Your words break my heart 
Every piece 
Tore my world apart 
You had a feast 
Scared and trapped 
No where to go 
I almost snapped 
My sanity let go
Burned the bridges that we had built
Taken gravity
I felt the world tilt 
No stopping me 
I've been unleashed 
Tonight I roam 
These darkened streets

Nothing could've prepared me for the geared up beauty on the other side of the door. " Oh good, Theon you finally decided to show up. Now before you start yelling about how you don't need a partner, I'd like you to meet Quorra. She just transferred from another guild for some personal reasons, and she's very excited to become partners," Rowan was talking but I couldn't take my eyes from her.
     She was absolutely beautiful. Long, sleek black hair with red tips, full pink lips. And haunting green eyes. This partnership was going to **** me.
No way could I consentrate on killing monsters while she was in action. I could just imagine how her hair would spin as she swung a sword. Realizing she'd been talking to me I decided I should probably stop drooling like a twelve year old boy, and listen.
    " When they told me I could be partnered with Theon the great legend I was shocked as much as I was ecstatic . I'm sorry if I sound lame but I grew up hearing stories about you," Quorra's smile was so wide I was surprised her face hadn't cracked.
"Ah yes, I'm not quite as exciting as the stories convey," I was doing my best to look her in the eye. I wasn't the social butterfly that I used to be.
Maybe it was my growing age, while my physical appearance didn't look a year older than twenty five, my soul grew old with the battle wounds acquired by many years of this life. I was a soldier in need of a break but would no doubt be drafted as soon as my feet hit fresh soil. Abelia was the one who loved being surronded by people, I would let her drag me to her dinners and social outings but she was the one who enjoyed them. I only enjoyed seeing her happy. Her eyes used to twinkle with excitement.
   I averted my eyes, in fear Quorra might pick up on my suppressed emotions. " Hardly believable," she smiled softly. Rowan lounged against the wall with a mocking smirk on his face. When Quorra turned her back to me to sift through her bag I flicked Rowan off, not just for that look on his face, but for the future hell I was about to endure.
    Rowan then decided to drop the biggest bomb on me then, while I was already suffering.
"By the way, Theon, Quorra is going to need a place to stay. And since you have that giant apartment all to yourself , I told her she could stay at your place. Is that cool?" even though he put it as a question , there was only one answer he would take. " Ah, ya sure," I said quickly, wishing I could run out the door and not come back.  Rowan took pleasure in my obvious displeasure.
"Thank you Theon, it's only temporar. Untill I get my own place, then I'll be out of your hair ," Quorra said smiling at me tenitivly, looks like I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable.
     Grabbing her bag that sat by the door, I turned to go outside. " I have a car that you can put that in, ah , do you need a ride?" Quorra stammered out quickly. It was amazing how fast things could get awkward. "No, you can follow me to the apartment, it's not far from here, " I said briskly .
Outside I noticed a black SUV parked in the darkest corner of the parking lot. Smart, I hadn't noticed the car going in.  She clicked a button that was on her keychain and the lights on the car flickered. "Is the motorcycle yours?" she asked going to the back of the car to pop open the door .
"Yeah, she's mine," I replied loading her bag into the back. She didn't have much on her. So either she came in a hurry , or she didn't keep much on her.  Rowan had said she'd transferred for personal reasons. "It's beautiful, does It go fast?"
She crossed her arms and leaned against the side of the car. Great she planned on talking for a while.
     "Yeah, that's why I got her. I like to go fast it's exhilarating , the feeling," I smiled at her , and my eyes caught a change in her eyes before she looked down. I could've been mistaken but it looked as if she were blushing. " Well we might as well get going," she mumbled and opened the car door.
I chuckled to myself as I walked back to Racer.
I was going to hell, might as well have some fun before I get there.

Deep violet red rose
                         Breath your
                                 life into my being ....

Dear love , my dear
I hold you in my embrace
As the fire dances amongst the trees
Casting shadows on Decembers lawn
A blanket of chill
But it shall not snake it's way against your skin
While I
Hold you...
You ask me of my past
But my past is not my present
I have escaped
Its angry cloak
I would rather make moments to be
Remembered
Now
With you so soft
And small
A warriors bride
For you are glass with a core of steel
And your cracks always heal
Your brown hair
Curtains shy eyes
To insucure
To gaze at mine
Though I can feel you want to
Just let go
And let the stars guide you

Our hearts
Beat in symphony to each other
Years the melody
Mine the harmony
And even though we own seperate galaxy's
And our moons of different quantity
I will love you
My galaxy without a sun
Cold and dark
Until yours spit rays
On to the ice
That had held me locked
You told me
Don't be afraid
You gave me warmth
I won't be afraid
You took my love
And I gave you my heart
And we free fall into space
But we are not meant to be
For the gods will not smile
Upon our joining
So my fingertips must part
From yours
And my lips last
Brush like a shadow against yours
My tear will fall as two with yours
As long as you love me
In this unclaimed space
We'll meet again
But until then
Goodbye
You...
Were my gravity
In space
Together we were a
Cosmic explosion
A planet collision
But I smiled for the first time
In your arms
I won't forget

At the surface
Still waters
Dip a finger into the liquid body
Cold
Like me
Inside
Remove my coat
Fold it neatly
And place it on the frozen earth
Blink away tears
The end was coming
Blood had been spilt
To many tears lost
The skies were falling ....
I heard death calling
Remove my shoes
That bound me from running
Away from the screams
Wade into the waters
Disturbing the sleeping waves
Cold liquid envelopes my ankles
My breath hindered
Keep going
The wind whispers
Don't stop
I look to the blue heavens above my fragile
Human head
This is all that's left
When my path has darkened
And my light has escaped
Wishing through opened windows
At my waste now
My blood fills the pools
Seeping my misery
Spreading through the crystal waters
Tainting them
But I don't stop
Even when the ice chilled water
Scratches at my neck
Not even when I'm completely emerged
I'm drowning , sinking
In my pain
I scream beneath the waters
I scream for every heartbeat
That was skipped
Every moment that he missed
Every unjust tear shed
For every scar
For every nightmare
For every time I was hurt
For every word that broke through me
I screamed for death to take me
I screamed for it to stop
I sunk deeper
So deep ...
Like the cuts
In my body
Like the scars on my heart
From the abandonment
From my hatred
For the fire that simmered
And crackled in me
For my wasted passion
For every second taken from me
I sank deeper
I Sank faster ...
Just to find
I was an angel
Hidden behind frozen shut doors
With battered wings
And broken hope
Living in the dusk
When I should've looked for dawn
I found
Death was much quiter
Than the choir of cruelty
That we face
Everyday

Moonlight dancing at the top of the hills
Throught the trees the light spills
Long black dress, sleek and shimmering
Trails behind me , green eyes luminescent in the night
My hair long in swirls down my back
Hand to bark
Breath to the chill of the air
I can feel it
I was here
In another demension
One that I traveled to
I came here , I just wanted to see you
Bare feet intertwined with the grass
I dance
Dance with the silence
Dance to my heartbeat
Dance to my breathing
Hands raised to touch the sky
Dark in its slumber
Close my green eyes
And picture a wolf
Black to match the night
And a star , of white placed
Between my green eyes
And when I reopen them
I stand on four paws
I feel free in my new skin
Tall in my new fur
And I run to the song of my paws
A howl above another
Alpha to this lone wolf pack
Into the distance I'm enveloped by
Dreams crescent arms

I used to think you were special
I used to think you were warm
But now I see your no angel
And you've brought aforth a storm
Raging in my system
Gusty winds set free
I never should've listened
When you used your disgues on me
I've opened up my eyes
Though I wish I hadn't have had to
Your disgusting with your lies
And I wish I'd never met you
I would sigh relief if I could go back
I would re-do this whole mess
I wouldn't  hear my heart crack
I wouldn't be in stress
If only I could put you back
My problems would one less

Missing you when I am the one
Who banished you
From my life
In your looks
There isn't anything to special
But it is not your face or body
That draws me to you
It's the tug of your heart to mine
For some unfounded reason
It's you I always glance back at
And I know you have the worst habits
But we are young
There's room for mistakes to be made
So we can grow
But I feel as though if I confess
I might just make a mess
Of these stitches we finally managed to sew
If I tell you my secrets
Will you take me in your arms?
Or will you cast me away?
This deliema has me restless
When I see you
I avert my eyes
Because you can always read what lies behind
The green walls to my soul
Maybe I was to scared and to young
Before
But now ... I just want to know
That I didn't leave your mind so soon
Possibly .... That when you claimed
You .... Loved me
You ment it
I was scared back beneath my covers
By that four letter word
I've seen , I've felt it used to betray
Used to hurt
My bruised heart
Beats with a ragged thump
Do dare I risk the last pulse on you?

I have walked with this smile in place
But beneath the surface ,
I I'm burning in my hellish inferno
I'm tortured by memories
I'm tortured by the faint touch
In every corner of my mind lays a monster
I'm trapped in a house of nightmares
There's no escape ....
I can't breath when phantom hands
Are wrapped around my neck
And yet while I lay here dying
I'm forced to stay alive
And yet I Kay here crying
My tears I'm forced to hide....
I've been strong enough
My arms are growing tired
I rather let go
But I'm chained and barred down
The clouds are out if my reach
This razor blade ...
Is my only release
Pain let's me know I'm real
And that this isn't another dream
Growing up to fast
Dying to slow
The sun doesn't rise in my world
And evil never dies
I'm stuck behind the bars
Of a prison
That I am trapped
Lights are in the sky
They bid me goodbye
I am alone ...
To wave goodbye

Rain beats against the glass
It's been hours since I've seen you last
You left and you had slammed the door
I cried my tears until there were no more
We've fought  for an entire weak
Screamed until it hurt to speak
And now I'm leaning against the wall
My tears flood my face, I could fall
I hate that you haven't called at all
It's me locked away in a bathroom stall
Just to hide my radiating pain
That has left this black stain
I wish you'd just come home
So I didn't have to feel so alone
In a way I feel rejected by you
Like I'm infected and you're the flu
But there's no prescription for how I feel
And my emotional description doesn't seem real
But if I just lock the cell inside of me
Maybe all these years of pain you'll never see

Shadows linger on the white carpet
In the night it hid the blood
That slipped from a cut throat
And seeped out from the side
The stench of her draining life
Filled the dreary room
And walls that used to hold memories
Have been wiped blank
The open window
Lets in the breeze
To bad they muffled her screams
Death remains a permanent stain
On the face of the house
Once happy with pastel walls
Now... Dark and gloomy
The paint runs off the walls
A mourning dove perched on her couch
Cries tears of blood
The crows will soon pick her flesh
And then there will be nothing left

Sleek black fur
White boot paws
One strip of white
On her soft black nose
Full fat belly
Of a curious baby
Long white whiskers
Full of milk
Popping green eyes
That make me coo

As I lay here dying 
I look for a light 
I know that I'm trying 
My best effort to fight 
Away as the stars 
Of darkness bite 
Breathing is getting hard 
And I'm losing my sight 
Numbness swallows me 
Whole in the night 
All I can feel Is the stinging 
In my left eye but not my right 
Death drags his hands across 
My heaving throat 
I know my life is loss 
When I ebb as though I'm on a boat 
Regrets that I couldn't say goodbye 
Regrets that I'm leaving 
But I can't stop from dying 
Because death will know I'm cheating

Cold air bites and nips
At my bare fingers
Big soft flakes of the first snow
Land on my face
I look into the sky
Flooded with endless amounts
Of falling flakes
Swirling
And dancing
Until they reach the ground
And melt to water
I surprise myself
When I giggle
And shake the snow from my hair
Treading on down the wet sidewalk
My feet numb
My coat bound tight
Maybe this year I'll give snow
A chance

The melody spills from my lips
As I sing these words
My voice goes low
My voice goes high
These words will touch the sky
Rush through valleys
Dip to the plates of the earth
Then swirl through the skies
To the heavens
I sing from my soul
I sing from my heart
These words slowly crumble me apart
My feelings rest behind
Each syllable
My eyes well with tears
As I sing these words
That I write here
soft in her beauty ,
She closed her eyes
Rich with her youn adolescent purity
She was in desguise
She hide her true nature behind a mask
The only thing she had
Was a memory of the past
The words mean nothing to the people that hear
But those words
Hold my pain and my fear
And even as I lower
The microphone
I knew that I was going home
With sadness in my heart
Because they never understood
The words that I sang

They say I have one wish
But only the moon
Hangs in the sky
The darkness
Swallows the world whole
And leaves us with the shining moon
I'll be going soon
To the place that's drank my tears
Where I confessed my fears
Place where darkness leers
And let's the winds cheer
Through the trees
And near the creek
That place it's safe to be
Me, without a mask
Me without rules
I can tell my secrets
To the rhythm of
Leaves that caress each other
The place where I can close my eyes
The place to unload my stress
The place where I'm not a mess

Night with a street lamp 
To light the way 
Run until its day 
Storming to the point of hail 
I go outside to get my Pail 
Oceans roars a hurricane 
Surf the waves and make them tame 
Capture light inside your hand 
Discover an uncovered land 
Breath air of another kind 
Speak with the smartest mind 
Eat a food from every place 
Savoring the godly taste 
Live like it's your last day 
You only live once they say

At the break of dawn
the curtains are drawn
The doors are closed
The sidewalks hosed
The sun breaks the clouds
The music is loud
And the clowns wake up again

Put on their masks
to join the masquerade
Their pain begins to fade
When they hide
And quietly slide,
through the day

The jokers fallen
from the deck
The angels have fallen again
This world is never perfect
Not even in the end

Black sparrow , black sparrow
You have fallen prey to death
Little sparrow, sleek and narrow
The moons at its crest
Black sparrow, black sparrow
Fly into the afterlife
Cold sparrow, you've paid your toll
Now end your strife
Black sparrow, black sparrow
Close your eyes
Little sparrow, your path is narrow
But walk it you must, you have died
Black sparrow, black sparrow
Find your tomorrow

Stary skies
On painted nights
Hearty ties
With scripted fights
Fake, it's just a scene
This actor's world
Can become mean
When you wish to lean your head
On one's shoulder
But you stay at home instead
And the stress makes you look a bit older
And you rather go to bed

Why does it have to be hard?
Why do we cry?
Why do we dream so far?
When are dreams just crash from up high

Director yells cut
And you shrink inside
And you wonder what,
You didn't hide
There no room for your stress
Keep your eyes to the script
It's what director thinks best
Your opinion is skipped

Why does it have to be hard?
Why do we cry?
Why do we dream so far?
When dreams just crash from up high

Wake up with the sunlight on my face
Fell asleep without a hope, without a grace
Cold nights, thoughtless and bare
No love in the alley ways
When your only company
Is a street rat
That simpers his way by
Last lunch , was from the trash
I'm not looking for pity
Not looking for another's tears
Just looking for a place to rest my head
From these troubled days
Never begged a day in my life
Wouldn't start today
Won't look for a place to die
Searching for a place to lay
I'm a survivor
I won't give up
I'm a soldier
I'll fight on

I don't know what I have done
To be punished today
My joints ache
My skins deformed
I cannot feel warmth
I want to cry
But I simply can't
Believe I've tried
I feel as though
I've been taken over
And my body will not move at will
How could I
Ever feel like this
It's sickening to feel
I just want to be warm
I just want the things go away
I'm tired of it , but it's
Determine to stay

I can't help but feel
That this'll end it all
I'm scared as I walk down these halls
My whole body shakes
My insides quake
And a storms rebelling in me
I choke back tears
I don't want to know what
He'll say
I don't want my mother to cry
For Jesus sake I don't want to die!
But even now my arms my legs
Everything burns
I
Can feel it crawl it's way
Through my body
I
Can feel it eat me away
I only know that
When I raised my head from that pillow
And glanced down on my body
I was horrifyed
Red swirling patches
Ate up my body
Down my stomach
Down my legs
Along my Back ...
On my face
Cruel reality
Setting in
Was this punishment
For all my sins
Please I'm sorry
But to my mother
I'm last of kin

A choir sings behind me
Collapsed on the floor
My heart beat once more
My hand outstretched
For a prince that never came
For a hero that never saved the day
Crashing at a million miles per hour
Towards a bottomless pit
****** away, chewed up then spit,
Nothing more than a residue
Left over
A mere mark
Of what might've existed
A wasted prayer
Among the mass
One teacher
Of an uncaring class
Fog on glass
Wiped away
Night to the sun
A passed day
Nothing more
Everything less
Left as an empty shell
I'm alone again
Without your touch
I'm not much
My heart ....
There is no beat
My finger tips to the stars....
They do not meet
My time is up
I'll say goodbye
With tears in my eyes
And pain wedging my throat
I leave tonight ..... On the lowest note

Worthless...
Never perfect....
Shattered tears on floors made of mirrors
Reflecting my every imperfection
Shard by shard
I chip away
A worthless sculpture...
Never good enough...
Never beautiful...
Cracked
Scarred
Mangled
A mess
Scraps thrown together
Eyes look at their reflection
Hatred
Questioning
Infected
Neglected
Self loathing
All in a moment
Close those forest green eyes
One tear slips past
Hopefully the last
We all want
What we can't have....

Waking up In this foreign place
The walls are closing in
And I can't breath
There's no room for hope
No room for faith
A shattered dream
Rolls down my face
And no matter how hard
I seem to push
These walls are determine
To smush , me
I'm struggling
And shouting
But all I can hear
Is the echoes of my anxiety
On death row
I see my life
Like a slideshow
Past before my eyes
My ribs crack
I scream
I can't desipher
What this means
But Im not waking from this
Dream
All that will be left
Is my echoes

Sharp golden eyes
Peer from the trees
Soft rhythmic purr
Summons me
Interest peeked
A calling
Of hope
Hello?
Don't leave
I will walk among you
Sisters
I will travel the soil path
Up the hills
Past the clearing
To the cave
That seems to ward away
All the evil
Her long body
Slouches into the mouth
Golden eyes
Lighting the way
My bare feet
Against the cold stone
I grip my arms
Where do you take me
Madre De Los Gatos?
Where do you lead
Beautiful Pantera
I see
You show me my path
I will walk straight
Among you my sister
Thank you

Had I been born a bird
With my outstretched wings
I would fly
Away from my hurt
Away from my past.....
Had I been born blind
I wouldn't have seen the
Glitch in my life
The one that ate me up
Inflicted so many sleepless nights ....
Had I been born deaf
I would've never heard
All the screams
That caused so many nightmares ....
Had I been born fast
I could've outrun the shadows
That engulfed me
In their arms
And burried me beneath
The surface