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Oct 2012 · 924
Blood lyrics
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
My heart bleeds the lyrics 
You once sang in my ear 
And my eyes are dry 
Except for one last tear 
That seems to move slow 
And I can't speak these words 
But I know that you know 
That, that last silent kiss 
Was goodbye 
Even though I feel as if i've died 
I'm letting go of the fights 
I'm going home tonight 
Heartbeats will go on 
Even though mine used to skip one 
For you 
Because you used to hold me 
In your warm embrace 
My heart would then race 
Rest assured 
My broken heart wont be cured 
I was lured into your trap 
And you weren't afraid to snap 
Down on me 
And now I must leave 
From this pain 
That has since strained 
My life
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Death was not unfamilar to me. I'd killed my share of things classified as monsters. I wasn't complaining really, my job kept the humans safe. I just felt guilty, I was practically a monster myself. They call us Warriors of the night, we're not Vampires, we are born with extra strenght and a long life span. I was born a long time ago, I was raised to **** monsters that terrorize the human race. Since I was six, I'd been trained to ****. I was a killing machine, best of my kind. Yet somehow, even though what I do is considered an honor, I don't feel proud. I've been doing my job much to long, and lately I'd began getting sloppy with my work. God knows Rowan would be one ****** of boss if he heard about me letting the group of baby Werewolves. I wasn't a complete heartless ******* to **** a bunch of babies.
    I might've been two years ago, before the whole incident happened. I layed my head in my hands, I couldn't go there, not now. I needed a clear head. My small apartment in Master Singu's house was getting messy. I hadn't had time to clean lately with all of the monster attacks that had been popping up lately. Ghouls, Goblins, Oni, Ogre, you name it and it's been attacking. Wasn't much we could do with the Banshee, they were more of a signifier then a monster. A signifier of death, and usually they gave me a heads up if the person who's house it's been surrounding, is gonna die. Banshee were cruel looking creatures, never gotten to close to one, they make **** sure of that. Not sure I ever want to. They were ruled by the one and only, Death. And i will gladly stay as far from death as possible. Haven't heard too many good things about him. Death is one of the Four horsemen. Scariest ******* in the underworld, and I would gladly never meet any of deaths brothers or sisters, what ever the gender their welcome to stay away. There was a soft knock on my door, io glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already three. Warriors worked night shift basically, since thats the time most monsters like to come out.
    The victorian styled door was a black cherry carved wood, with a ancient symbols carved in so no evil spirit couls cross into my apartment, so I wasnt worried any monster was at my door. But I was suprised to see Cameron when I opened the door. Cameron and I used to work the nights together until he'd gone off and gotten married to Sylvia, who was a vampire. Vampires were only considered monsters when they didnt follow the rules. No feeding off of unwilling people, only donors, and they couldnt go around killing people. Their biggest rule though was not to tell any human what they were, Warriors like me had a lot of people to execute.
   "Cameron, never thought I'd see you around here anymore," just as I was talking to him I realized, Cameron looked scared and desperate. Unlike someone who spent his life killing evil monsters that were twice the size of him. " What's wrong Cameron?" He shook his head and walked past me, through the door and into the living room. "It's Sylvia, Theon please help me," Camerons voice was going all thick and his eye's all watery. This was deffinetly something bad. " Tell me, what has happened with Sylvia?" I needed Cameron in his most focused form to help me out, but as I looked at the shaking man I knew he was beyond that. " You remember the king vampire we took down to save Sylvia?" Cameron said quitely, but I knew instantly what vampire he was talking about. That vampire had killed Abelia. I quickly swept that from my mind and focused back on Cameron. " Yes I remember, "  I had no idea where Cameron was going with this. " You remember his brother than, the one that got away, he said that we would both pay. He, ah, made you pay that day. I never thought that he would carry out with his threat. He kidnapped Sylvia, and Sylvia is pregnant, " Cameron almost lost it right there.
    I never thought that, pip squeak of a vampire had it in him, but he was smart and possesed powers we hadn't known about until we had come across them. Their king that we had slayed, had been capturing girls of all species and abusing them in such barbaric ways.
We had to put an end to his affairs, and we did but his brother wasn't too happy about it. He'd done one of his tricks and manifested behind Abelia and snapped her neck. Everything for me had stopped, all I could hear was the blood in my veins. I didn't breath, I could still remember the deafining roar I had unleashed as my monster had gripped me, took the reins and killed all of the mans servants.
Blood had bathed the walls that night, not even the crickets dared to sing. The sun rose late that morning, and I sat inside this very apartment, on that very couch, and cried. For the very first time, I had cried until my eye's swelled shut, until my throat could bare no more. Until I passed out.
    "We'll get them back Cameron, don't worry. For now get some rest, we'll start investigating later tonight, I have meeting to attend," I was going to **** that ******* when I found him. He had taken my only love from me, and he would pay this time, I would make that absoultely certain. Cameron nodded and headed for the door. It was a long way back to his house, and he crossed quite a few bridges. I didn't want him making any bad decisions, " Cameron you can crash here, I have a guest room your welcome here man," I say casually so he doesn't get all prideful. He stops and looks at me for a moment then nods " Yeah, thanks man, and also thank you for agreeing to help me on this I know it's a bit of a touchy subject for you, just know i appreciate it." He made his way down the hall, I listened for the soft click of the door shuting before i went to leave.
    I grabbed my coat, and the keys to my Ducatti and ducked out the door. The hallway was long and at the end of it was two flights of srairs, I lived on the third floor. My motorcycle was parked right were I left it, it was a beauty. Black and red sleek metal and nice leather seats. I loved the bike so much I had named her Racer. I loved to drive fast, and so did she. I tore off out of the parking lot and listened to the purr of her engine on the way to Rowan's , my boss, office. It wasnt to far, but I wasn't in a rush either so i took the long road just to stall. I knew Rowan planned on giving me a partner. Probably some ****** that didnt know his way around a swiss army blade, let alone a sword. Warriors didnt use guns unless absoultely necessary. I loved the feel of my sword slicing through the air. I didn't, however, enjoy the noisy bang of a gun. A sword was like another limb, you have to trust it to take you were you need to go.
    Rowan's office light was on, and I could make out the form of three bodies. Great, I knew it, Rowan was going to assign me a partner.
I hated partners, the only one I'd ever slightly enjoyed had been Cameron. I got off my bike, patted the seat for good luck, and made my way into Rowans office. When I pulled open the door I was ready to yell at Rowan for even thinking of giving me a partner, instead i dropped my hand off the doorknob. " *******," was all I coluld say. I was stunned to silence.
To be continued! Hope I left you wanting to know more!
Oct 2012 · 622
Death
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Little girl falls down
And hit’s the ground
Tears in her green eyes
Doesn’t know of lies
Only the sun and the wind
In her hair
Doesn’t know Deaths hand
Is there
About to take her away
She only feels the pain
In her knee
Later on she will see

Falling from the tallest of mountains
She was shouting
For someone to save her
As Deaths hand swept her up
Put her on his wings
Made her sing
Made her sing

She had trusted that thet would keep her safe
But that day
She died just a little inside
She tried to hide
The memories away
She couldn’t know that
Someday They come bring her pain
Back
She would remember
The cold nights of December

Falling from the tallest of mountains
She was shouting
For someone to save her
As Deaths hand swept her up
Put her on his wings
Made her sing
Made her sing  

And the cold nights air
Sent chills down her spine
Her mind was mine
We were one
The damage had been done
She was Death
I was her
We were one
Nothing left but the shadows
But we had eachother

To rule the night
The spirits will fight
But you'll be alright
Reaping the dead
It's in her head
She was born to be
She was part of me

Falling from the tallest of mountains
She was shouting
For someone to save her
As Deaths hand swept her up
Put her on his wings
Made her sing
Made her sing
Oct 2012 · 953
Silent Killer
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
The owl perched high
Traumatizing skies
Little feet tap the ground

Spotted by sharp eyes
Little mouse cries
Owl dips low with no sound

All goes back to normal
Silent killer
Perched again
Oct 2012 · 450
Hiaku's Of Love
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Take me to your heart
Lead me from this place of doom
Take me to your soul

Breath your life in me
Lead your children to the war
Give your life to me

Caves in the dark pits
In the deepest parts of you
Can't take my sight away

It's you that I love
Please don't deny me the same
Don't let my hand go
Oct 2012 · 641
I shall go
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
I shall go with a heavy heart
My heart feels torn apart
But I will live through this haze
With a sigh, to remember those summer days
warm with a slight breeze
nice, maybe seventy degrees
love burns hotter
but this gap between us
has thrown cold water on
the embers
I can only hold my head up
And close my eyes
Ignore your comments
Ignore your lies
I can be strong
And I can be wise
But right now I might need a hand
To help me up
From this rut
I shall go tonight
With a heavy heart
But I will not fight
Oct 2012 · 860
You i'll miss
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Piano covered in dust
keys out of tune
room filled with doom
dark shadows on the black and white
checkered tile
I'll just sit here a while
Wipe my foggy eyes
this masquraded demise
hidden in the best desgiuse
as love
that i thought came from you
as you brushed your fingertips
down my back
but true feelings you lacked
push you away with tears
in the green pools
hurt
betrayed
never again
the room begins to spin
ice in my lungs
my heart breaks in two
and i turn to leave
but i see her shadow
her pictures on the wall
i begin to fall
this heart ache grips me as i crawl
this pain i feel
it sends me reeling
a mask i glue in place
concealing
my hurt and tears
all the love id spent for so many years
and now i am poor
my love is no more
i spent everything i had
and i feel so bad
i cant truly feel so ...
no words to put on my emotion
my heart caused a commotion
im sad that i feel this way
only pulls me further down i must say
when did it get this bad
when did i feel this mad
how could i feel any better
just take my scarlet letter
i rather leave this realm
than feel like this
i shouldnt feel like this
...... but you i'll miss
Oct 2012 · 844
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Frozen dreams 
Words echo in my ears distantly 
Can't be afraid of the dark 
Promises old and broken 
Lay in the shadows 
Jails hold me 
In my head 
The bars are so cold 
I freeze my hands 
Please these nightmares 
Let me go 
I've been here to long 
I became your home 
Drowning in past tears 
Judgements gate  leers 
at me with those angry eyes 
Let me untangle from these lies 
I'm innocent, not guilty 
Not to be blamed 
Yet I'm still ashamed 
I could've hid better  
This is my fault 
Locked in this vault 
I'm scared but have no fear 
I don't understand 
My own feelings 
I can't take back my past 
Every moment might be my last 
I should live 
But I'm not Alive 
I probably won't survive 
But I can never die 
This whole life scene is a lie 
And to say that I'm confused 
I really wonder why
Can't think of a name
Oct 2012 · 1.6k
Goodnight, goodbye
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Goodbye soft air
Goodbye mother tree
Remember my prayer
Remember me
The sky's arms
Will hug me tight
I won't be scared
When I leave tonight
I've lived a lifetime
Full of sadness and pain
Full of laughter and love
And there lies no shame
I am tired
So tonight I sleep
Rest my head on this pillow
And fall in deep
Goodnight bright stars
Above my head
Do not cry
Keep the tears unshed
There's no sadness in my heart
Please I've woven theses
Small piece together
That had fallen apart
Goodnight goodbye
Rest my soul tonight
Oct 2012 · 715
The road
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Falling leaves
Dying trees
In a blink of an eye

Cold nights
Frostbite
The monstrous winds not shy

Walk on this empty road
Be alert, I was told
The one who walk with blind eyes
Is lead by his heart

The one who walks
With no direction
And simply wanders
Is not lost, he may stumble upon
The right way

The one who walks on
Another's path
Is lost

October leaves
Cancerous trees
And cold nights
Of frostbite
Kind of confusing I apologize for that
Oct 2012 · 669
Do not fret
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Oh my heart wails for you
all that you've been through
rest child, I beg you please
these wretched shadows tease

Hold on child the darkness fades
into the light morning shades
surely your father will be back soon
oh my is it noon?

you must not cry
these men must tell lies
he couldn't! couldn't have died

oh, the world goes on
the days grow long
the bottle of whiskey you have is empty
all because he died, on friday the thirteenth

close your eyes imagine him there
do not fret, he's right there
dad could not have died
they must've lied
Oct 2012 · 1.5k
Forgotten, battered, goodbye
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
My eye’s so drenched in my evident pain,
Cry! Cry I do
My heart shakes with my sobs
How? How can you relate
If I try so hard
But you do not care
You are only here to break me
Farther apart
Split me
I am but a lowly servant
To this castle of heartache
Where one will not leave unscathed
My hands grip the table for support
I have seen one to many
Crumble like the old stone out back
I must stay strong with only my shoulders
To hold this, wait!
I can be strong
I must be! I must
Or I will fail myself  
To be swept out in the current
So unforgiving
Swinging me so violently around
As you have done
My heart unbelieving
My ears I thought deceiving
But no the truth before my unseeing eyes
Oh I wished were lies
Take me away
Please I beg
My soul can not bare much more
Of these harsh cynical words
I try I truly do
Why oh why am I at blame
At the bottom of your shoe
When it meets the pavement
Crushed and forgotten
Like a memory wiped away
Like chalk on a chalk bored
All that is left
Is the smeared image
Blurred, of who I used  to be
Erased forgotten
In the rear view mirror
The chilling realness of it
Leaves me in utter despair
Belated emotion
Running their cold hands
Down my back
These tears seem fresh
But they had only burrowed inside me
I cannot hold on
I fall to my knees
How? How have I gone on
Knowing you have been untrue
You did not love me
You did not believe
You took from me
You hurt me
I am not here for entertainment
So I shall leave
Just as one before me had
Just as I had picked you up
From the dust beneath your feet
I am a slave in your steel grip
No longer will I sit by
And lower my head
I will stand and raise my chin
Instead, I am no weak child
I am strong and mild
So beneath this moonlight
I will leave
With no goodbye
Do not search
I am not here
I have left
I will never come back
I am not so easily persuade
As you stand in the door
And yell
You cry
But this act is over
Draw the curtains
Oct 2012 · 1.1k
Happy birthday to me
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Passing of time
Another year
Older this day
The signs are here
Im happy yet sad
Because of my growing age
This is bad
Like I'm on a stage
Everyone expects a show
Expecting magical tricks for me to grow
But I feel the same no older then yesterday
It's driving me insane
This constant responsibility
I'm a teenager for Godsake
Don't spoil it now!
I'm not an adult
Just leave me be
Before I'm cast into the retched society
Reality *****
It was my birthday today :)
Oct 2012 · 4.7k
Hills
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Hills on top of fathomless hills  
Where I have built my home
I walked here through the driest desserts
Swam here through the deepest seas
Hiked here through blizzards on mountains
A little piece taken each moment  
Until I reached these hills
At top the rise of the earth
I look out at the universe
I can look out and say
I have been here
I have left my mark
Where it is the most important
I can look at the people building
Their  homes and dreams and goals
And know they to will stand about
Their own hill, they will know that they
Made a difference in the world
Just by breathing the air
By making one laugh
And with that I may stray to the Mothers
Arms
And be sound , knowing I did my part
Oct 2012 · 758
Leave me alone!
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Tugging at my heart
Constantly tugging
Pulling me apart
Always bugging
Just leave me be
I want to be alone
Your here to bother me
This I have known
Grabbing at my sanity
Please just go away
You smile at me blandly
Why do you stay
You center yourself around me
Like you've built a home
Constantly trying to hound me
My fury has shone
If you won't leave me for only a moment
I will be forced to go
This time will be forever
I thought I'd let you know
Oct 2012 · 666
Trick or Treat
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Trick or Treat
Tonight you meet
The scare of your life
Hold on to your wife
I roam the streets
And you I'll eat
Just for fun
Before the sun
Comes out
No doubt
Were you excpecting someone else
Well you have me
So Trick or Treat?
Just a halloween poem,
Oct 2012 · 1.4k
Roman
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Roman I must ask
Where did you hide from me
So long?
I've been searching these
Streets
Caught by Dracula were you?
Don't fret im sure he'll find you
Finish the work he's started
You were the first to ever escape
Out from under his cape
I wouldnt be scared
Well I dont have to care
I wasnt there
Oh Roman
Don't cry
It'll all be over soon
Truly I dont lie
He'll sink his fangs into your throat
Probably toss you to the see
Maybe you'll be found by a boat
The fisherman are out right now
So I dont see how
They'll ever miss you
Im sure they'll find you
Oh a knock on the door
Dracula's back for more
Don't move though
Ha ha
You're to slow
Goodbye Roman it was nice to meet you
Say hello to god in the afterlife too
Oct 2012 · 1.9k
Black and white photo
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Built for sin
She was a woman that no man
Could resist
Red lips
Pale skin
Hair soft as the angels wings
***** of her time
All that is left
Is a black and white photo
Long slender legs
She teased all the men
As they watched and drank there gin
She danced with a grin
Her dress dipped so low
In the back
Her body twirled with the music
Her red lipstick
Not a smudge
She's what they called perfect
Woman held grudges
But all that is left
Is a black and white photo
On her way out
A sway in her hips
She waved to the camera
And puckered her lips
And in the chill air
A yank on her hair
The allyway terror
She was found
The next morning
The police say it was an animal
She was left without blood
Her neck was swollen
And all that is left
Is a black and white photo
Oct 2012 · 2.3k
Last breath
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Heaving chest
Blood leaking from heaveans mouth
Scared shacky hands
A forienger to this strange land
Of shadowy plains
And rip shattering pain
Eyes so brave
No tears in the blue pools
Strong soul
Ready to escape
The cage your body holds about it
Whisper in the nights wind
Just be silent my love
Hold on to me
You'll be okay
And the bombs blast in the backround
Of his cries
As she, his love dies
With a note that she had carried through the
War feilds
My love ,
Hold your tears for another day
I am brave
I will not be scared when my
Light
Shines in my eyes
And my reaper takes me from this
Land
Of breathing
I will not be afraid to
Face what lies before me
I am strong my love
Be strong to
Fight for our will
Fight for me to
Always hold my love with you
As a token of grattitude
For all that you have done
And will do
And in my last breath.....
I love you
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
All alone with you inside my mind
Calling out your name a hundred times
Somedays I feel so broken inside
To think that once our heart were intertwined
But love was a lie,  and now that I've died
And to think that you were mine
Was a foolish thought
Because you were not
Gods not there
He doesn't hear
My prayer
Everyday becomes gray
So why pray
If you tell me god is a figment of my imagination
Another's creation
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
Trees in my eyes
Stars hear my lies
I sacrifice
Myself
Sunset of a kind
A chance to unwind
And just breath
Why do I dine
On my own
I am not fine
I am completely alone
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
Oct 2012 · 774
Broken glass
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Broken glass,   Not meant
To last, try  to look past
The anger , try not to
See some
One

As a stranger,     as an intruder
Try to look   past their
Differences That
divide Them
From

Each other , that keep
Them so separate
Broken glass
Never
Meant
To
Last
Oct 2012 · 821
Sweet October,
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Grassy fields
A scarecrow
In the middle
A silent scream
From sewn lips
Frozen terror
In frozen blood
A dark sky
Thin clouds
A cold breeze
On my shoulders
Blood tears
A soul unleashed
The devils soul
So dark
So sad
So hateful
Finger tips can brush his pain away
Dark wings
Black feathers
Wishes he could be different
Wishes he could feel
Wishes he was real
Wants to have dreams
He's not always what he seems
He wants to feel love
But his blood , a tainted dove
Pulls him back to his jail
Sink their claws in his skin
Pulls him back to his sin
Sweet october
Release the monsters
Oct 2012 · 816
Death breather
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Soul snatcher
Death breather
Eyes evil , blue
Soulless monsters
Dark forces
Do their biding
Blood on their hands
Skin, never seen the sun
Face splattered with blood
Hide behind your sheets
They walk your streets
They hear your heart beat
They'll be discreet
Close your eyes

Brilliant soul
Shone above them all
No prayers are heard
When they roam
Evil  feasts
Your alone
With the beast
Oct 2012 · 1.7k
Dragon
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Monster they yell
Because they do not see the beauty
Evil they yell
Because he has power
Dragon he is
Strong wings
Loyal mind
Tall neck
Ready to be risen  
From his slumber
His bones are restless
His wings itch
To slap the wind
Dragon roars
People scream
Poor dragon
Doesn't know what it means
Just wants
To be accepted
But people can't see
Beyond the flesh
His structure
They can't see
That he is
Just another creation of this world
Oct 2012 · 652
Lone soul, lone heart
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Reborn by the stars
A lone soul
In an endless fall
Cold demensions
My finger tips burn
With my pain
With my hope
Brushed away tears
Muffled cries
Touched the seam of paradise
Before it was snatched away

A lone soul
Wondering
Waiting for some one to look inside
The windows opaque
With fake smiles
Fake laughs
Fake words
Okays
I'm sorry's
I'm alright's

A lone heart
Beating alone
Bleeding on its own
Surrounded by its own walls

Until the lone soul
Loses itself
No longer a soul
Just....
Nothing

And the lone heart
Stops beating
Stopped by pills
Jammed down its throat
And wrist bleed out

Never give up
Hope is in the dark
You don't always need a light
To see
Oct 2012 · 320
Sad, and can't sleep
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
So tired
But I cannot sleep
So angry
These thoughts won't leave
Curled up tight with
Myself
There is nothing
And no one else
Believe that maybe
I'll be alright
If I close my eyes and try to fight
These pestering tears
That just won't stop
Oct 2012 · 406
love is poison
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
dont drink the           poison it kills
love blooms slow,  hate blooms fast
your heart   drinks slowly
and the effects
never
last
Oct 2012 · 1.0k
Nighthawk
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Predators eyes
Wings out spread
Softly brush
The air
Waring screech
Colder air
Two distinctive
Strips of white
Nighthawk
Oct 2012 · 389
Smiles and tears
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
I see him in the hall
And my heart speeds up
I don't know what to say
But I want to get to know him
He looks at me and smiles
And I get feelings I haven't felt for a while
I smile back then look I away
Can't let him know he made my day
But then my friend beside me
Tells me that she's gonna ask him out
My heart stops then shatters to the floor
I just nod and smile
Even though she knows my feelings for him
When she leaves my side
I let the tears  soak my eyes
Just one more ruined day
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Eyes of blue oceans
Hair of blonde silk
She fell because she was broken
She couldn't make up her mind
And she was running out of time
The pressure on her shoulders
Pushed her through that hole
It was An escape from her reality
To another
The rabbit chased the wind
While she shouted to him
She was lost in a world that
Couldn't be real
But her fingertips defied
Solid and warm
The trees bark seemed to breath
Everything there was alive
In the corner of her eye little eyes look
At her curiosity, yet unease
Is she the one?
Little voice squeaks
Be quite she'll hear you!
Another one
What could this strange place be
The trees were taller than any
The grass and flowers , many
The small rivers and streams all around her
Could this be a dream?
A voice echoes , like it's lost in a cave
But suddenly her body hurts
A scream from her lungs
And suddenly she's flung
And the pursuer yells,
"off with her head !"
I wrote thus thinking about how when life throws you surprises they can seem so awesome and beautiful at first until everything goes wrong, not always the case but most the time , I guess it depends on the persons luck
Oct 2012 · 553
Snow , hiaku
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Snowflakes on the ground
Angels in the snowy banks
Trees slouched over , bare
Oct 2012 · 706
Hate:love::my love:you
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
I don't want to go through life
Wishin I could restart
I don't want to look back
And see a mess fallen apart
And if I ever die
Just remember that I love you
I don't want to live lie
I've been thinking about my past
All those shed tears
That didnt last
I was broken at the point of it
I was dying inside
I really couldn't give a ****
I finally realized
That they can say
Whatever they want to
Its a new day
And I can finally look at you
You can try an drag me down
Spent most my life on the ground
But I'm starting to feel restless
And I hope you finally get this
I'm through, I'm through
With you,

We always used to fight
And my sanity was gone
But in the dark I found a light
That's why I'm making this long
And if ever I see you
I won't think of before
Because all the things we used to do
Ya, well I closed that door
And I'm trying to be strong
Even though my shields are down
And I don't know where I went wrong
But I feel it all around
And there was love loss
But no love found
The title Incase your wondering is a antonyms analogy
Oct 2012 · 949
Stars
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Dark sky
Full moon above the tree tops
On the small hill before my building
And bordered by the enpty woods
I'm looking deep into the night skies
Thousands of twinkling eyes
Shooting star above my head
Big dipper leaning against the dark navy blue
And the owl and the crickets sing
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Suns gone from my window 
My pillows lost its comfort 
My blankets seem to strangle me 
I don't feel like myself 
Woken up from a dream 
That had seemed so real 
My bones are aching 
And my hairs a mess 
I wish the dream was real I must confess 
I was running from my past 
I was running to safer arms 
But just as I leaped in the air 
You pulled away 
And you disappeared 
Stupid dreams false hope
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Her eyes are full of tears, 
She had broken wings 
Bloodied from the war 
She was crying for her love 
The one before her 
Broken in the soil 
Shattered at her feet
She was lost to her broken heart 
She was torn apart 
From that she had lost 
From Everything it had cost 

No love in paradise 
When dirt is all you get 
And you can't pay the price 
And you threaten to fall apart 
And your beaten, but your bones were broken from the start 

Pain was new 
She had played all the cards that she had drew 
She was scared 
Frozen by fear 
She had switched gears 
No lone soul could handle 
The weight if her now heavy heart
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Her eyes are full of tears, 
She had broken wings 
Bloodied from the war 
She was crying for her love 
The one before her 
Broken in the soil 
Shattered at her feet
She was lost to her broken heart 
She was torn apart 
From that she had lost 
From Everything it had cost 

No love in paradise 
When dirt is all you get 
And you can't pay the price 
And you threaten to fall apart 
And your beaten, but your bones were broken from the start 

Pain was new 
She had played all the cards that she had drew 
She was scared 
Frozen by fear 
She had switched gears 
No lone soul could handle 
The weight if her now heavy heart
Sep 2012 · 1.2k
Dear mom
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Facing these halls 
I'm putting up all these Walls 
You'd think I was building a home Inside myself , an escape to get away,
from all this stuff that goes on everyday ,
when I get tired of running away,
and there's no place to stay 
I lock it all up because no one knows,
I'm ******* up,
I'm missing pieces of my sanity,
and I'm failing with my vanity,
it's getting harder to cover my scars ,
I'm  putting my thoughts in the jars,
to lock them away,
review them another day,
when I can say ,
that hey I'm okay,
who knows if that'll ever happen, 

Trying to stay strong,
before I go wrong,
I'm having suicidal thoughts,
more often then not,
god are you listening?
In falling apart,
I tried to stay true ,
but I'm not you,
I'm not brave,
I could never save,
anyone, not even myself , 

Mom, you say you love me, 
Do you really?
Because I feel like you don't understand me,
I feel like I disappoint you,
and I try to stay true,
I try to believe that you do to,
and I want to tell you how I feel ,
but your gone everyday trying to make money for our next meal,
I try not to steal,
cause I know that you hate it,
but I just want to help us make it,
it's a struggle everyday,
even though you smile,
and I know that you haven't been happy for a while,
sometimes I think it's me,
that if you'd never had a second baby,
you wouldn't be in this place that we, ended up in, I'm sorry mom,
I wish I was better because maybe then you'd love me,
I'm sorry that you hate me,
I wish you wouldn't degrade me,
I'm sorry for who I am,
I feel like a con selling a scam,
I really do ,
Just know that I'll travel the world for you,
that I love you to,
do anything you want me to
because with out you,
everything would be impossible to live through,
at the end of the day I know you'll Be there,
no matter if you care ,
it's something we share
Sep 2012 · 556
Today is tomorrow
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
On my knees praying
When today is tomorrow
And today crumbled

Holding in my tears
When people you loved **** you
Desperate in despair

City lights blind you
While you try to get away
Escape all your guilt

Maybe selfishly
You took what you needed so
You could be at peace

Just for a minute
You give up everything for
Them to be happy

But you always give
And you never take a thing
Yet your torn apart

By consuming guilt
That you wish you couldn't feel
But you do anyways
Poem of haikus
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Angels are crying
as i stand on the edge of this bridge
i pray that i have the guts
maybe i shouldnt
but what am i living for?
nobodys there
nobody will stop me
but still my heart sputters
a beat that doesnt sound right
but i hurt so much
everydays a struggle
i fight back the suffering
choke back my cries
i look in the mirror
a face undeserving of
happiness
trying to hold myself together
trying to hold them together to
wish i could cut these suffocating strings
wrapped around me
binding me
chaining me
here
wish i could spill everything im feeling
but the words dont exist
i wish i could take this all away
but theres no way
i can only silence them for a minute
as i stand looking down at the swishing swirling
water below me
maybe it would be fast
maybe it would last
Sep 2012 · 623
Villalobos
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
I wish to roam among them
Loyal strong and prideful
Together a body
Which moves as one
My dream to look Into their
Hunters eyes
So full of truth
But this Villalobos is burning down
Scattered running
Their paws hit the ground
Smoke fire chaos all around
I stand in the middle and watch the flames
My heart is breaking I call their names
How could we do this ?
Let this be?
Did this happen because of us?
Because of me,?
Bothers stop they matter to
Their foreign to us
Because they don't speak our language
Respect to you lobos
Because you are free
That's something above all of us
Even me
For those who don't know villalobos means village of wolves , lobos means wolves , just a poem about how we tear down their homes to make room for ours and I wish we didn't
Sep 2012 · 751
Black winter
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Black winter, snow fall
Children play, no not at all
No angles pressed in the black of the snow
No one understands no on knows
People stay inside their homes
While the black winter roams
Stretched across the river bank
Underneath the ice where I had sank
Blackened water, no will to move
A beast of unleashed upon this town
To cause chaos and burn it down
Black winter , santas dead
Get no toys, coal instead
Fire pits lit , with depressing glare
Peoples heartbeat and glassy stares
colder that ice on wet skin
The black snow fall, falls thin
Board your windows guard your homes
Because tonight black winter roams
Sep 2012 · 637
Hate
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
You were suppose to protect me
From evils crooked hand
You were suppose to love me
Not leave me with this man
The one who leaves me bleeding for everyone to see
The one who has no bounds
And doesn't give a **** about me
Hold me down
Make me pay
I felt pain
That very day
Almost broke me to the bone
Weren't his words or his stones
Hate him more every day
I wish I
Could make him pay
For the blood that I had shed
For the care that he misled  
Every tear that fell
I hate this dark angry hell
Iive like this all the time
Frozen pictures, of what all was mine
Stay away from my dreams
Your  minipulative scandalous schemes
Goodby forever you wicked illusion
No mistake no confusion
Sep 2012 · 1.2k
Oh love my lost friend
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Oh love , do you avoid me?
Am I not deserving of your company?
Because I see you with all my friends
But when I sit down you seem to leave
Oh love have I not been kind?
Have I not sacrificed enough?
Am I not deserving of a small bit back?
We used to be close
But then you seemed to leave
A vacant area in my life
Yet to be filled
I miss the laughter
I miss the happiness
Real happiness
Not the kind you fake to hide your remorse
I miss the warmth
I miss the passion
I miss it all
But I'm so scared to come out and whisper
These words at the tip of my tongue
Sealed behind these quivering lips
The key to my savior
Or the key to my ruin
This gamble is so risky
I'm not sure if I should take it
Or walk
But I can't help but remember those sweet
Moments that are forever
Planted on replay in my head
But then again so are the worst
Fate is unreliable
She will take me anyway she chooses
And as much as I've seen of her
She is not on my side
But another rival against me
In life, on this battlefield
Littered with untold stories
So many disasters left without
The happy ending
No my fairy tale story of love
And how the prince fell for me
And everything turned out perfect
Is a morbid twisted bent version
Of how the lowly princess
High in the tower sits
Waiting for the prince that doesn't care to come
Oh love you've abandoned me
And I have abandoned hope
Time may tick on
But I will still be waiting high
In the tower of lost souls
For the prince who finds mine
And wins it so effortlessly
Not knowing he's not showing
Sep 2012 · 5.6k
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Valor Gates poured her younger siblings cereal, they sat at their broken kitchen table.  The cereal was stale and she wasnt sure if the milk was spoiled.  Her anxiety was through the roof, her mother hadn't come home last night.  It wasnt anything new, her mom was a drug addict, she would go out to the club and not come home, sometimes not even for days.  She wouldnt call, or text to let Valor know she was okay, or where she was.  She couldn't even call the police the times she went missing for days, because she knew they would call child services, and they would take the twins from her.  Angela Gates was the typical ****** mom, got pregnant at sixteen, she had no way to support a child except through her now ex boyfriend Charles,who she had cheated on, hence Valor.  Charles had sacrificed his teen years to try and raise Valor, he'd been a father to her, and she loved him for it.  He left six years ago, a little bit before the twins were born, they also weren't his.  Valor at ten years old had taken on the mother roll when the twins were born. She'd even named them, Andrew and Abigail.  She thought of them as her own.  She taught them how to read, she'd taught herself to read.  She taught them how to tie their ripped hand down shoes, she hadn't learned tell she was eight.  She taught them how to ride a bike, she didn't know how.  She taught them how to swim, she'd never been to a lake or a pool before that.  Valor went to school part time, then skipped the rest of the day to go to her job at the hardware store.  She got payed minimum wage, her paycheck went to the bills, and the small portion left went to the groceries.  She got the twins clothes from the shelter, or from neighbors whose kids had grown out of them.  She hadn't gotten any new clothes, or new anything since two years ago when Charles bought her some clothes and a cheap ipod for her birthday.  Those gifts had meant everything to her.  Valor sat down in the broken stool by her little brother and patted his little blonde head.  The twins were beautiful Andrew was tall for a six year old with short blonde hair and giant blue eyes.  Abigail was just as gorgeous, she already had thick hair to her tiny waist in tumbles of blonde satin, her eyes though were very different.  One was as blue as Andrews and the other was the same mossy green as Valor's.  Valor wasnt a blonde with blue eyes, she saw her self plain with thick long brown hair, and shining mossy green eyes.  She worked out to stay fit, and she didnt get to eat much in fear that the twins wouldnt get enough food.  She dug out a small cheap phone that Charles had boughten for emergencies , the small screen was blank.  Her mother hadn't stumbled into the house and to her room like always.  Valors heartbeat picked up two notches and sh could hear the blood rushing in her ears.  She had a anxeity disorder that also gave her a bit of OCD.  Her OCD was extreme cleaning.  Everything had to be neat, she thought it was because her life was in such disaray that the one mess she did have control of had to be perfectly in place.  
She debated weather she should call Charles and ask if he'd seen her.
the start of a book im going to try to finish, good job if you read the whole thing :)
Sep 2012 · 896
Hurt beyond words
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Chocking on my tears 
Wish I could die 
I hate my life 
Blood on my arm 
Pain tingles down 
I can't keep back these tears 
I wish I could leave 
She hates me 
She's so mean 
No matter what I do 
She shoves me away 
I wish this was my last day 
Can't stand this anymore 
I've shut the final door 
Im taking this leap
No one will miss me 
No one will look 
They won't read my book 
My stories to long 
They wont sing my song 
The world doesn't need me 
I should just leave 
Maybe god will accept me 
I doubt it 
No one loves me 
I'm a pity 
Stupid 
Ugly 
Worthless 
All her words 
She doesn't care
Sorry this one is so dark but I was soo angry I needed to unload it all,
Sep 2012 · 365
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Tonight I'm leaving
I won't be back
I won't look over my shoulder
I can't stop
Hesitate
Falter
I have to walk
I've been slowly diminishing away
As I've sat here
Pretending
Like I don't need
Like I am above pain
But truth is
I'm dying
I hate the snickering voices
In my head mocking me
I used to think I would be okay
But I'm not!
I won't be!
And this pain emanating from me
No one seems to care
Or feel
I wish I could continue on
A perfect lie
But within every lie is a small truth
My truth is untold
Sep 2012 · 521
I will hold her up
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Please tell me how you can look In her honest eyes
And try and break her down, with vile words
I can see her struggle to keep it inside
I can see that shes hurt
I can see her tears unshed
I want to hug her
I hate that she's so sad
I hate that those people are so cruel
I wish I could take away her hurt
But all I can do is give her
One reason to smile
Make her time worth while
Make her days brighter
Make her load lighter
Read her when words are to hard
And hold her up when the weight collapses her
I can bare her pain
I've seen it's dark hellish face
I've ran that same pace
I've been torn apart and fed to the beasts
I've cried and scarred myself for life
But if I could save her
I will fight forever
She is my best friend
The light at the end of a dark hall
The best of them all
If I could be just the slightest bit
Of the friend she's been
I would do my very best
To my best friend, who in the deepest of the dark finds a way to laugh , even if for just a minute, who listens to me, encourages me, ALWAYS makes me laugh , stay strong because you're so much more than you even know,
Sep 2012 · 1.5k
These halls
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
The sweet fresh breeze, and the howls of my distant brothers
I can feel their anxiety
Enemy is near
These halls frosted and tainted are unsafe
Instinct drives me from this scene
I cannot let my gaurd down
I must be aware
But the abandoned halls echo my every breath
My heartbeat slows
Everything slows
I can feel their presence they're here
But where is unknown
Lightening my steps
In the next sudden moment i am attacked
Knocked to the ground
A roar bubbles up from deep in my throat
I slash out with a firce scream of dominance
Blood spilled
A slash across my face
But i will live a life knowing
I had won
Sep 2012 · 795
Perfect poem
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
I can't think ,
my pen suspended above blank paper,
I can't put to words these jumbled feelings
I hate not knowing what to say
Hate not knowing the words
I need to let all my confusion out
I just want to creat the perfect poem
But I will never achieve the impossible
I want to write until my pen becomes dry
I wish I could put every word, verbatim as it enters my mind
But I can't, I wish I could put this down
But my pen doesn't press against the paper
Fireworks do not egnite as I write
No one wants to listen
No one wants to feel
How do I translate what I feel to words
I hate that I read over past written words
And feel pain exude
I want to write the perfect poem
I need to
But I never will, maybe my dreams will never
Be fulfilled, these words mean nothing
Only to me, only I feel these words
Only I hear me shouting these words
In a room full
Maybe wishes get lost
Amongst the rest of the unfulfilled dreams
Sep 2012 · 640
Tainted
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Haunted by the ghost of what you used to be
Tainted by the love we used to share
Scared to be anyone else
Hurt by experience
Afraid to take a chance
I stay to myself where i know I'm scared
Wont open my mouth and sing the words
Ones I'm dying to sing
I am terrified to look in the mirror
Rather stay in this state of mind
Where the past doesnt exist
That I am okay
That I dont scream to the heavens
That I dont feel alone
It's make beleive but It's safe
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