wheels

the night before his surgery, my boy’s body is a dark suggestion I inspect with a cell phone’s light.  his brain is tucked away.  his brain a self-assessing god that, created, has ceased to exist.  I hate that I have as all do a floating rib.  it would put me in a better place

referring to it as satan’s disabled life raft.  I have no advice for those on the operating table.  for those above-

say thumbprints.  start missing.

an old man looks up at me with a toothless grin,
and a sparkle in his eyes.
i watch as his feeble hands
reach up to the sky
in hopes of becoming youthful once again.

a teacher passes by me in the hall,
and she looks me over as if i'm nothing.
little does she know that i sit in her class everyday,
thinking of how much she inspires me.

the lights flicker on and off in my head
almost as much as in this classroom.
the girl beside me won't ******* quit clicking her tongue,
and restlessly flirting with the boy in front.
i'm going mad in here.

the girl with long hair is reading nonstop.
she's never been in love before.
i always get the update of the *****
she gave out the day before.
it's calming to know some girls are insane.

You can't conceal,
Those darkening blemishes,
Laced upon your skin.

Where's the fabricated necklace?

Was the knot too weak, too thin?

if he says please,
you're supposed to do what he wants.
he expects you to make the journey down south,
and if he says please,
you have to do what he asks.
there's no such thing as "no,"
if he's nice.
you'll listen to him,
if he says please.
but if you say please,
at once, he must stop.
although, often it isn't please anymore.

so,
this is my warning to you.
if you love a man who says please,
he doesn't feel the same.
he wants your service
for only one thing,
and he knows to always use please
to quiet your pain.
six letters will build you up,
break you down,
and hurt you.
you don't have to listen
to his please.

shes hiding in her bedroom
her blood splattered on the floor
her blade in her hand
her back to the door

she has a reason you know
theres a voice in her head
saying: "your not good enough"
"you deserve to be dead"

she looks in the mirror
and burst into tears
the voice comes again
pounding in her ears

"you deserve all this"
"every single cut"
"you deserve to die"
"you stupid little ****"

your right she thought to her self
i deserve it all
i dont deserve to be here
all it need is one big fall

she went to write a note
but she threw them in the bin
world could never describe
how she let the voice in

do it! do it!
"you fat ugly cow"
she stepped onto the ledge
she had to do it now

it taunts her
when she's lying in her bed
it screams bad thoughts
and whispers in her head

she took a breath
all she wants is silence
her own mind back
the only answer was violence

now she knew
as long as her heart was beating
the voice would be there
always repeating

no one even heard her
as quiet as mice
she finally got her silence
but her life was the price