Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
I miss you
And I'm sorry that I don't have some
beautiful and mysteriously depressing way of stringing those words together to make them sound like more than what they are
But I'm so drained without you that
I can barely manage to make
myself function properly
There was a particularly spectacular
sunset tonight and I wonder if you saw it
at the same time I did

I wonder if you thought of me
As I thought of you
 Mar 2014 Katherine Del Rosario
R
I'm not even sure
why I cut this time.
i guess I just did it to feel
to feel what?
I am happy, aren't i?
I should be.
hell I should be ecstatic.
I have a loving girlfriend,
my friends are great,
my parents trust me again,
and I have God by my side.
so what is it that I ever so
desperately need to feel?

Can I tell you a secret?
I am not unhappy.
I am not sad.
I am not angry.
I am anything but depressed.
I think that is what I miss.

The sadness is what I crave.
The constant happiness isn't
fulfilling my desires anymore.
Is there something wrong with me?
Some kind of unknown disorder that
causes you to crave the very thing
that made you hate yourself for so long?

This happiness is driving me mad.
It is like I will not let myself
be happy all day.
Why can't I just stay happy?
It's a wonderful feeling.
It makes everything seems brighter
and more beautiful!

So, why can't I just accept that
I am happy and get over
what needs to be
out of my life?
oops
but seriously, why can't I just accept that I am happy instead of purposely making myself sad?
and please don't say it's for "attention". I've never done this for attention in a day in my life, it's just a bad drug that I have been trying to wean of of for awhile. :/
Sitting still in an empty room, waiting for nothing to happen tomorrow. My life has been a waiting room, I watch as people rush through with their big emergencies their nows, leaving me behind, waiting. I wait for so long, but am met with only more waiting. I have forgotten what I am waiting for, what do I expect to meet me when my name is called? It seems as though I am the only one left waiting. I am the only one left without a story. Can't I be rid of the waiting? Can't something happen to me? Something unexpected and unplanned? I need something- or someone, to through me off the waiting list and take me to now. To forever take me away from tomorrow, from next week, next year, next century. Take me to a place where there is no time, yet there is no waiting. I am sick of waiting.
2:29 a.m.
Just one more cut the girl thinks to herself for the sixth time that night.
She slides the small razor across her upper thigh
What a sight
she thinks with a sigh.
2:32 a.m.
Her clock blinks red
like the blood that's bubbling up from her leg
2:34 a.m.
It's Valentine's Day
Is all that comes to mind before
just one more cut
2:35 a.m.
One more slice
because what's the harm?
It feels so nice
but never on her pretty, pale arm.
2:36 a.m.
Just one more go
Because the blood comes out just a little too slow
2:38 a.m.
She was fourteen that year
and nothing seemed right...
2:40 a.m.
So she snatched up her razor that was oh so dear
to use on herself, on that cold, cold night
2:41 a.m.
the red numbers keep flashing
tick tock tick tock
for every second, her resolve was dying
all because of that never-stopping clock
2:43 a.m.
just a couple more scars
really why not?
she's come this far.
9:34 a.m.
her brother finds her dead
curled up in a ball
in her nice, warm bed
9:35 a.m
her brother screams and looks to the covers
they're covered in red
he screams again and calls for their mother
who sees all of those ****** scars now carved into her leg
9:41 a.m.*
a single scar in the most unlikely of places
her pretty pale arm, so beloved by she
one last slice to end her life
down the river, down the stream
Okay, so this is my first poem and I'm not really sure how I did. :I
I messed up on the rhymey part some, but whatever... Plus I need to work on my descriptive writing and my ability to get into deer, dark roles.
every cigarette I've ever smoked made me weak
because every time I inhaled the fumes
it sank right into my heart
and seemingly found you
I didn't believe in
Heaven or Hell
until you

grasped my face
and kissed me,

then left me and
forgot me.
a splitting headache
accompanied by saline raindrops
are more common now
as the hours drag by.
                                                 it's just one quick packet
                                                 you have a week for this
the expectation of perfection
is absolute,
as evidenced by how easy it is
to lose the faith of those once close.
                                                 I didn't want to bother you
                                                 that was quite unexpected
the desire to be good enough
for what little is received
is outpaced only
by the desire to rest for just a moment.
                                                 stop goofing off so much
                                                 lights out early tonight, ok
only through perseverance
can one be successful
but only through failure
can one know the value of success.
                                                 calm down and walk away
                                                 in my own mind, even, I am lost
even in death we are unsafe
as the days go by
with nary a memory of all the jumble
studied and fought in life.
                                                 there's always a choice
                                                 **nothing about it can be helped
I hold your hurt and happy
Your loss and gain
Your moon tides
Goodbye lullabies

I cradle care
Protect at the cost of my
own
shell
being crippled
force fields being punctured

You throw your rock pain
hurl it at my face
I stand and wrap you up in me
you release your bow
sending arrows with ease
I

  fall


        fall
to my knees

Grasping the thin strings
that stretch from target to release
I breathe wisps of love into them
hoping hard for you to receive

softly I carcass your face
you sleep
I hold you feathered in my hands
open the hinges of my heart
place you inside

You forget in dreams
the sinking pain
that will bloom
as you open your eyes
thunder cracks across your eyelids
electric lighting electrocutes my mind

Your smoke fills my lungs
clouds my vision
peaceful descent into nothingness
I fade from your side
as the sunlight tickles my face
I kiss your head softly
embrace your pain
ripping it from your veins

Sunlight explodes
sparkling streams of rainbow torture
I disappear into the shadows of dust
watching you wake up
forgetting my warmth
forgetting my slightest touch
Next page