And because
I've come from a place
built on constant heartbreak,
what if causing damage
is all I know how to do?

I am so scared of hurting you,
and although I have grown
numb to the pain
that comes along with
being hurt in return,
I have spent so many nights
reciting to myself why it'd be better
to feel nothing at all.

I am finding it hard
to convince myself that not
everyone will try to break me
the way he did.
I am finding it hard
to convince myself that
I deserve any better than my past.

there are days
when i'm grateful i didn't
share all my secrets
with you,

and there are days
when i wonder if the act of
pouring myself out
would've made you stay.

-k.w//secrets

As we were laying in the bed of your pick-up,
looking at the stars,
I imagined the level of complexity the sky would reach
if lines brought the stars together
like a connect-the-dots on the back
of restaurant kids menus.  

And the realization hit me
when I looked back at you,
that we are much like stars.
Together in the same night sky,
yet too complex in our own ways to really be together.

I'm falling,
and like anyone else would do
when they see a shooting star,
I can't help but to think your only wish when you see me,
is to only be farther away.

But the leftover stardust
that make up the freckles underneath your eyes,
that you seem so ashamed of,
allow me to realize,
that you have fallen too.

So maybe we are the broken pieces
that are meant to make each other whole again,
so that way,
we can finally shine like all stars are meant to do.

-k.w// Shooting Stars and Empty Hearts

Memories once wrapped in silk
are now collecting
on the windowsill.
And I've traced outlines in the dust,
placing heavy exhales where
words were meant to be.

And I look at her,
and she is so trusting
of love, and I'm trying
to find beauty in these endings.

-k.p//silk laced memories

lately,
this hospital room
has felt more like home
than anywhere else,
with days spent fearing
gravestone silence and
latex stings.

and when our tears
meet the ground,
they sound a lot
like sirens, and
we are just ghosts
condemned to
brittle bones.

-k.p//sirens bring us home

It's funny how the calm ocean
that roars inside of you,
can turn into a raging, violent storm,
at the reaction to my words.

Words so simple,
so quietly spoken,
most wouldn't even listen.
My words are often overlooked,
or minimized,
and that's why I was so surprised
when you listened very closely,
and turned, dark and against me.

I have learned that my biggest creations,
were better left unspoken.
Safe from criticism,
or hate,
or judgement.
Just locked away in the back of my mind,
that way I can fantasize
the fact that I might make it happen,
someday.

and now poetry in coffee shops and paintings of flowers make me want to cry, and i didn't know memories of you would be so deeply engrained in the moments i took for granted.

the sunrises that were once a gentle reminder of being one sunrise closer to seeing you, i now realize, were just counting down my last days of being able to love you.

our time together ended before it ever really began, so i'll pretend my hands aren't shaking because they'll one day forget how it felt to hold yours. i'll pretend tears haven't been blurring my vision for forty-eight hours straight, and i'll pretend i didn't fall so hard for a boy who seemed to have given up on me so easily.

-k.w//sometimes, i wish i couldn't feel

He watches as
I ache, listens to
the sound of bones
splintering at his
feet, and falls
into stillness
once more.

There is no
presence near
enough to hold me,
and I am clinging
to empty pages,
begging to
be heard.

k.p

Discover the importance that comes along with loving yourself fully and unforgettably. You are a part of this beautifully crafted universe, and you deserve to be here.

-k.w // stars are meant to shine

I'll show you the thick white lines
that are traced along my veins,
if you promise to still love me
in the morning.

Because I can't imagine
waking up one day without you,
but I can't think about hiding a secret
that's written all over my body either.

And I've been the only one
to bandage these wounds for so long,
but at the same time,
I'm the one that puts them there.

So please still love me in the morning,
and don't ever think you're the reason why
my wrists are sore.

You are the stitches
that bring me back together.

-k.w

The first time I saw you,
I knew you were ready to take on the world.

The cancer might have affected everything else,
but it never really did touch your smile, did it?

And today you let go,
and the pain finally stopped.
I'll never understand why
people like you have to go so soon,

but you were an angel walking on earth,
and I realize that eventually,
you had to go home.

-k.w//sydney strong

The most foolish thing I've ever done
is taken the word
"forever"
so seriously by such a
temporary
thing.

The sky is painted with
shades of blue and grey,
and there are miles of open road
ahead of me.
I hear music that makes
my heart skip,
and I am surrounded by people
who love me so.

And in this moment,
my past isn't holding me down.
I am not restrained in any way
to live how I want.
Right now, happiness is everywhere,
and I am letting it take control.

-k.w//Tennessee

And it's okay
if you flinch
every time he moves
his hands too fast

because in another time,
you were just
defending yourself,
and that is all right.

And it's okay
if you still skip class
every once
in awhile

because in another time,
that was the only time
you could catch a break,
and that is all right.

And it's okay
If you stay up all night-
making friends with
your bedroom walls

because in another time,
sleeping meant dreaming,
and all you really wanted
was reality,
and that is all right.

It will all be okay
in the end.

And you don't realize this,
but if I could,
I would take the freckles
that are scattered across the bridge
of your nose
and have found home under your eyes,
and make galaxies far more beautiful
than the ones above us now.
For you, are far more beautiful than any constellation,
and you deserve something beautiful in return.

And you don't realize this,
but if I could,
I would make your heartbeat
the new hit song that everyone can't
stop listening to.
Because it carries a beat so calming,
even the most troubled souls would
stop and hum along.
For you, bring peace to the darkest corners of my mind,
and you deserve peace in return.

And you don't realize this,
but if I could,
I would take that smile,
and inject it directly into my veins.
Because I can claim that medication and therapy
heal the darkest parts in me,
but it would not compare to what your smile
does to me.
For you, have healed me,
and you deserve healing in return.

In mere moments,
it seems, I will be
wrapped under stale
hospital sheets;
throat scratching from
a breathing tube,
a hollow body where
organs have been
sawed away.

I still love the womb
that only cultivates
funerals, would keep
it forever inside
if it had allowed.

I think of the cyclical
nature of hope—
how those who cradle
around pretend to
not notice the quiet
decay of one’s body,
promising me
there’s still semblance
of a woman residing
here.

-Kathryn Paige // The Hysterectomy

People admire the skies above them,
yet find it hard to love their rainy days.
For it's not easy to love something where
no light can be found.

And I can't help but wonder
if people think the same of me—
Am I only lovable on days when
I can offer clear skies?

-k.w//The Rain & I

One day, your hands won’t shake at the thought of someone kissing your lips. It won’t cross your mind that he may take things too far, and you’ll slowly begin to feel more at ease with the thought of being loved. And it won’t be the kind of love that leaves you sobbing after the continuous string of nights when he tried to convince you that your body was not your own, but it’ll be nights that end in slow kisses that for once, leave you looking forward to tomorrow. You’ll begin to realize that not everyone in this world wants to hurt you, and one day, you’ll realize that he never really owned you at all.

-k.p

I'll pretend
it doesn't hurt
to say your name,
and I will hide behind
subtle feelings
that I am too ashamed
to voice past my
bedroom mirror
at 4am with sleepy eyes.

I am not nostalgic
for the sloppy kisses or
the first time you held my hand,
but the trips to
waffle house in the late afternoon,
and high school football games
when the cold air left
our lips numb.

It all comes back
to the, "I miss you"
that is trapped
behind my teeth.

-k.w//things i'll never say out loud

love is not a switch
you can turn on and off—
you either always feel it,
or it was never there at all.

With each passing day,
I feel my bones growing more and more tired.
And I wander if this is what it's like to grow up.
Day by day,
you slowly grow more and more sick of this world,
and I guess that's why by the time you're ninety,
you are okay with death taking you.

We never found
tragedy in one
another.

-k.w

I wish I could say,
"I love you"
with more certainty in my voice,
and I wish I could
fall out of love,
as if it was a choice.

i spent hours
searching for the
reason behind all
my hurting.

i found you everywhere.

-k.p

thursday evenings
wrapped in stiff sheets
that leave me feeling
far from home,
bearing sacred memories
in scarred palms,
grasping for a moment
that passed long ago.

-k.p//unease

It's sad to think
that at one point in time,
I truly believed
I deserved the love you gave me.

But I've since realized my worth,
and bruised wrists
and crossed boundaries
are something
I never should have known.

So don't think for a second
that I miss you,
because I am so beyond
my unrequited love.

-k.w//unrequited love

(I) feel so lost
because you're the one
who said we shouldn't run
when there's a problem,

and you're the one
who said you (never) wanted me
to write over a broken heart again.

I've grown (tired) because even
when I cautiously fall,
I still fall too **** hard.

You did what you thought was best,
and I'm proud (of you) for
doing so,
but please don't expect me
to be okay.

-k.w

It was love that
brought us together,
and in the end,
it was love that
tore us apart.

-k.w

2am comes and
I am haunted by
foreign words and
thoughts of skin,
and skin, and skin.

And when I wake,
the sun will kiss me
through cracked blinds
and muted sheets,
but my mind
will have wandered
far from here.

-k.p

know that tomorrow
holds the promise
of a new beginning
and each morning,

you are reborn.

-k.p

Most days,
I still feel
the ache of
bruised bones
the way vets
still feel the sting
of lost limbs,
and I wonder
how long it takes
for something
no longer present
to heal.

And last night,
I heard gunshots
that sounded just
like your name
as I was reminded
some things exist
for no other reason
than to cause pain.

I am nothing more
than this small frame
and protruding ribs,
knots of hair lying
on the bathroom floor,
remembering what it
once felt like
to be whole.  

-k.p

I tend to get attached to things that **** me in the end.

Months are passing by
in the blink of an eye,
and everything's moving so fast.
Moments are held together by prolonged hugs and tender kisses,
and the moments away
are like a knife to the back
and the harsh word,
"goodbye".
One moment,
I feel at peace.
And one moment,
the air in my lungs thicken,
and I forget how to breathe.

And I can't help but wonder
if you ever feel it too.

i don't want to
turn my head and
shut my eyes at
the sight of sunsets
because it's only
a matter of time
before the night
closes in.
i fear i'll always
dismiss beautiful
things because
i know they won't
last forever, and
that causes me to
lose them before
they're even gone.

My heart sighs with relief
knowing that even after
all it's been through,
it stills remains just as soft
as it continues to love.

-k.p

One day,
you will begin to realize
that you can't save
other people—
you can only love them
as they learn to
save themselves.

-k.w

You are so beautiful,
and not just in the way you look,
but in the way you think,
and the way you choose to exist.
I am so lucky to know you,
and I want to spend every waking moment
reminding you of every aspect
that makes you beautiful to me.

-k.w

I am composed of all
the broken promises
and forbidden secrets
of others.
I am a shelter to many,
and even after they've left,
these pieces will
remain safe within me—
always.

-k.w//vault

And in fear of opening herself up
and being caught in a storm,
she never allowed herself
a chance to feel the
warmth of the sun.

-k.w//vulnerable

Wake up with me.
With messy hair
and sleepy eyes.
Morning breath
and all.

Flash that tilted smile
towards me at 8am,
so I can start my day off
just right.

Fall into my arms
and I'll hate the fact
that moments from now,
I'll have to let you go.
But I promise you,
I will love every second
up until that point.

So with cold hands,
and sloppy kisses.
Chapped lips
and all,
wake up with me.

-k.w// Wake Up

i feel my heart growing
apathetic towards the things that
stung two days ago,
and i'm trying to fight this because
i care.
i care.
i know i ******* care.

but that doesn't change the fact that
right now,
you could tell me you want me
to stay,
and i don't think i'd believe you.

-k.w//wars

tonight, my sister found
that the boy she loves
is kissing another girl
goodnight, and i held her
at 1am as she got used to
the feeling of saltwater
staining her cheeks.

you can not tell me
love is always kind, for i have
never known love to be
anything other than this.

-k.p//we fear what others chase

He stopped searching for love,
and I fear that he grew tired
of tasting the ghost of
her on the lips of
other women.  

-k.w//what if

teach me how to let go.
i have scars on my hands
from holding on too tight—
i must find the strength
to heal.

-k.w//what i think of when i think of you

My therapist once told me that it was healthy to mourn the loss of a friendship as if it was a death. It's hard at first, as it should be, but "as time passes, it should heal the wound."

So for the past year, I have been spilling my heart out and crying over your "death". I've been scribbling your name on scratches of paper and setting fire to them. What my therapist never told me, was how long it would take for the wound you left, to close.

Because it has been a year, and I have acted as if you were nothing but a memory, because in reality, that's exactly what you are to me. But you are not dead. No. You have a beating heart and a life to live, and I know at any point, if you wanted to, you could come back to me.

I guess it's true that I always cared about you more. You wouldn't admit it, but you never had to. You don't live with me in my everyday life, but you're always with me in my dreams. And I've acted as if you were a ghost, but you will not stop haunting me.

I'm waiting for a "hello" that I know will never come, but that won't stop me from waiting anyways.

I'm waiting for your resurrection.