You are salt and vinegar chips
Despicable and addicting
Hot chocolate that scalds the roof of my mouth
But I continue to crave the taste
Because those cute mini marshmallows soothe the burn as I swallow
Oddly charming

Early to rise just brought frogs to our throats

We spat them out along the perfect cobblestones lining the sidewalk

And watched the thin, old ladies clutch their pocketbooks closer to their chest as they skittishly sidestepped to avoid squashing them beneath those perfectly pointed heels



We laughed and laughed at their doings

Until the frogs were cleared out

And we realized then that we hadn’t made plans for the rest of the afternoon



Well, we followed those cobblestones until they gave way into tiny pebbles at the end of the road

That is where you first took a funnel to my heart

Beneath our favorite tree

Emptying the juicy trills from the beaks of the mockingbirds

That will never taste the same in my ears again

Because he was the robin, see
I built him a birdhouse made of the fingernails I chipped from every time I was forced to button up my own flannel shirt
It was quite silly and awkward-looking
So it didn't bother me when he didn't want to live there
It would take a lot of fake smiles and wooden blinds to tolerate a habitation such as the one I constructed for him
So it didn't bother me when he didn't want to live there

When he told me he was making a nest I took a paring knife from the kitchen drawer
When he told me he was making a nest I gave him 10 inches of weave to (through) the twigs
When he told me there were lots of split ends and varied shades
I wasn't too hurt because it was true

And I knew he would use twisty ties from bread bags instead
Which were much more practical than 10 inches of lover's hair
I just couldn't understand why he didn't give it back

He misplaced it, he said
How can you misplace something I had (longed) for him

if you deemed me worthy
i would kiss you to wake with the colors of your favorite moments every morning
painting the scene with the brightest berries I could find across your bedspread

if you deemed me worthy
i would thumb through the sticky notes you keep on your forehead
pulling the ones you write in your sleep
because you are your own worst critic
and i don't want you to feel the need to look in the mirror
just to read your thoughts
(i know that you're a lot deeper than that)

but
i simply wish-
to be the spare key to your heart, sir
i know so many other things in your life come first
but i would feel like a diadem if i could be the extra set hanging by a rusty nail on your wall

because i simply wish-
to be a witness
(of the beautiful life you create for yourself)

you were never one for saying much
but you pointed out the moon in her faded yellow wedding dress
her veil covering all
but a thin
crooked
smile
across her face

I would very much like responses to the questions dragged out of my soul when I listen to music
Like why people don't get married if they are in love
Must we all be logical like that
And wait for things to line up the way they do on notebook paper
Before signing a legally binding contract
It breaks me into pieces, the wondering
Hitting myself on the skull over and over
When it's my heart that needs the talking to
Because some things aren't as beautiful when you take that perspective away
No, when my heart is dragged out of me like that
And beaten to death as people tell me why he isn't worth it
Well, it works for a moment
But.. It doesn't work
It just doesn't work like that
Tell me:
why is the music written to stencil his footsteps; the very way he moves?
Tell me:
why are the notes plucked to follow the rhythm of his eyelashes when he averts my gaze?
Because we all know
Logic cannot give me an answer to all that

Oh, but don't wipe the stains off the kitchen walls yet
I want to read them like braille
See if I can remember them all when they were children
Sticky fingers reaching for my hair when my hands were preoccupied
Chocolate covered faces that kissed my cheeks when my lips were forming words much harsher than "I love you"
Don't you remember, dear
I never wanted those moments to skip rope out the back door
Slamming the screen door shut behind them
I've hit it so many times trying to find the children again
Just realized today that that door is closed; I'll never follow them out into the yard again
Never going back
Never going back
Smashed into the **** carpet of my bedroom
Is a sour patch kid from years ago
I suppose I could've peeled it from the decor if I'd tried sooner
But I loved you
I loved the way you left pieces of yourself lying around for me to find