stone cold grey
awake and tamed to the early break of day
woven with the evenings betrayal
of silent whispers
and forgotten amorous afflictions
i fear that i believed in your tales
for i wear a gullible ear
confiding in your eyes
though the ferocity of your hands
should have lead me far from your grasp
chaos brews within you
and the ever present hint of your smile
rivals your titanous lips  
you, tragically beautiful in your decadence
leave me gasping for air
for i must feed this vice
please, lead me to your burrow of endless defeat
for surely someday in your takings
my fragility will be lost

chalk outline of something shattered
left to be displayed to an ever-growing population
mangled and ****** from your passing
and wiped clean by strange hands
that do not possess your docility
but you walk away, slowly into oblivion
unashamed of your takings
for what you stole was never desired
a harrowing **** in the full flourish of your garden
plucked from its roots and put to shame
but as it slowly wilted beneath the severity of the sun
a traveler came upon it and took shame in its torment
and planted it in an open field
free to bloom without an enclosure

failure to extinguish every fire you set forth
upon each field of crops
has left each acre desolate
dead roots beneath charred ground
but it is from these ashes
that i collected the strongest seeds
surviving through adversity
and tilled into growth once more

wooden heart
splintered into place
puncturing its fragility
with every betraying beat
like scarlet roses
beautiful but deadly
upon tender hands
soft as the tilled earth of their lineage
and each drop of blood
feeds their state
of slowly risen chaos

dead eyes like twilight
haunting through frosted trees
and empty barren lands
frost bitten and bitter
to the peace between chaos
against soft winter snow
that remains untouched by the footprints
of people in little houses
but i walk on stilted legs
each deliberate step
is treading on shadows
silent and aching
like cold feet wading
through treacherous waters
in the escapades of silent streams
breath burned
across fields of ice
with carefully placed hands
on cold set stone

with eyes that do not stray
seek my gaze
your tranquil stare is all i need to be fulfilled

the gentle breeze reminds me of your hands
smooth across my skin, though mine still shake
for i fear you have disappeared from my reach

you disgust me
with your polluted tongue
sullied by your malcontent
absorbed in your egocentricities
it must be exhausting to feed your conceitism
how do you rationalize your inflation?
i find it difficult not to trip on your ego
for you must realize your inadequacies
or has your narcissism bloomed early?
continue on your rampage
for it leads to destruction
i know all too well of your kind
the pompous fall in their rise to power
bleak and solitary
i wait for the day when you acknowledge
each transgression

i wish the love filled in my heart was enough
to save you from your quick demise
that i could steal back the light from your eyes
for now they hold only a reflection
instead of a deep-set understanding

i wish i could replace you
so you were here and i was not
i failed to protect you
and that is all i ever promised
i am sorry, i wish you knew
i wish i had been there often
more often than i was
my life should not have gone so far from you
know that everyday apart from you breaks my heart
and now everyday that you are gone
i feel you slipping from me

i am left with happy memories and a crippling dream
it takes everything that i have not to go to you
and lay where i saw you last
sometimes the urge is so strong
that i have to barricade myself in my room
surrounded by your belongings
i can never go back to that spot
for i know i could never leave once i found you again

i cannot erase you, that look
so terrified until you became aware of me
thank-you for trusting me
for loving me for who i am
you always saw the truth behind sad eyes
and a happy smile
i wish i could hold you, just once
see your for one moment
run my hand through your mane
i can smell you when i am lonely
although my clothes are clean of you
as if my heart bottled a piece of your essence
to open when i need you most

rest gently
i will never lose sight of you

you found me
when i thought i was alone
lost, you brought me home
you discovered me
my passion, my resolve
my feelings, with your stable shoulders
you uncovered
the pain and sadness
and banished them
and replaced them instead with your essence
you molded me
with determination and strength
by the seat on your back
you taught me dedication
you gave me trust
and in those unstable hands
somehow i was able
so i gave you mine
along with my heart and undying love
it still burns for you

thank-you
for everything that you were
for it created everything that i am
i am honoured
that you chose me
to be your partner
maybe it was because we shared
the same hurts
that we were able to blossom
together
you were so beautiful to me
i grew with you
as did you with me
i could not ask for anything
more precious than the time i spent with you
i will love you forever

keep waiting
and i will find you again
i promise

matched sorrow
spread across the distance
thinned heart
of your absence
i think it hurts more
to be aware of a possibility
were there a change
bearings behind us
not keeping us at bay
but it does not quiet
my eyes seek you
i long for your whisper
i am torn by what you say
and what i wish to convey
your sadness hurts too
deeper than you know
for now we are open
but have no place to go

in your white city
wrapped in pavement
nestled between the hills
where nothing flourishes
the tree tops close to you
eager to tear apart from the ground
your tainted water
is poison
to all who wish to seek its purity

a smothered innocence
born into a soulless city
and the metal-clad titans
that threaten my wooden structure
break through my barrier, into my arms
my weaponry is pillaged
and i again remain reckless to you
your striking force
blunt across my chest
breathless, i remain in your agony

and as messages from you come up silent
i feel my heart floating
in your ominous sea
tying joyous knots
between frequent skipping beats
creating drops of your voice
that are echoed in the wells of my chest
for your sweet words blossomed twice
like clear stained letters
written near dawn

i fear
that the collapse of your growth is nearing
and the words that once laid before you
are voices in the distance
and the landscape of  your thoughts
buried shame
is brought upon still hearts
publicized
and all we wished to stay hidden
is torn across the horizon
and stretched across the bridges
with sorrow tipped urgency

and you lament to me
for i dreamt of your sorrow
going to the branches
when you should have sought the core
for now, all that is hopeless in your misery
is set free upon the village
set loose upon a whim
in your undying destruction

descend upon me in your radiance
for i was conceived in your fire
and now i stand, chest heaving
burnt in your tragedy
awaiting your return to my ruins
but your smile plays to your demise
and you instead cover me in your distance
a walking dream of your terror
the putrid evidence of your existence
leaves a stain upon my flesh
for i believed in your like a religion
for you were the disciple of my heart
but that legacy has been destroyed
for you have never carried your sins

like my wish upon a fallen star
burnt out upon the night
prepare yourself for slaughter
for when the evening breaks
the sun will be red with tears
and i will be born again in your remains

morning bird
awakened to our sins
stripped from the clear light
and forced into shadows
the keepers of secrets
the holders of silence
trapped beneath the marching of soldiered feet
across barren land
empty and bitter to our decline
for they yield no worth
for when reality strikes back
with its venomous teeth, ripe with treason
sun spread wings shall soar
above dark mountain tops
only to land again in darkness

the empty space
left for you
in my single bed
should be pleasurable
for now i have room to stretch
but when the lights go out
and i lay down to sleep
all i can do
is imagine how it is
to have you next to me
fighting for equal space
draped by your arms
instead of these blankets
but i remain restless
and all i can do in these moments
is wonder if you are awake too
contemplating a simple message
that would ask me to be yours
for just one more night

the ever present taste of metal on my tongue
heavy, and unable to pass the iron gate of my lips
silent, in the quake of restless hearts
the breath of simple lovers crushes my windpipe
and easy words become forbidden
ugly and tainted with an adamant coating
i place myself effortlessly in a cage
removed from humanity
lifeless eyes, silent mouth
the shutdown so familiar
but it is in the revival that i am lost

the absence of darkness in the city
fragile upon the edge of light
empty and eerily awaiting the demise of the sun
lifeless city, ruthless in its takings
your decadence
sad and unheard by passers on the quiet streets
singled by the sounds of your own footsteps
unlost but wandering
for what you seek in a star
is hidden by shrouds of impurity

recently i have been living beneath the soil
unable to breathe
each breath brings a mouthful of pain and disgust
my lungs fill with these things
shards of people
with your monstrous teeth
you will dig and find me there
unable to speak
tear me apart like a carnivore
the smell of blood is too overwhelming
the scars are still raw from your existence

i am so far gone
unable to pronounce
the words that get caught in my throat
i cannot say
but the pain they have caused is unbearable
they burn there
their meaning becoming more real for me
i doubt you know
you cannot see the feeling taking over me

i back away so that when i implode
my blood will only grace the snow

kept from its rotation
the earth would be no longer
just as if my heart stopped beating
i'd fade
until then
i will keep this hole buried beneath my chest
and i will fill it with my blood
to relieve the emptiness you created there
and someday
it will produce only the smallest of gurgles
for it will no longer be thirsty for my blood
and the stitch will remain
waiting to be torn back open again
but i have put it out of reach
never again
will you be able to reach into my chest
and feel my heart throb

feet free upon the winter ground
soft soles accompany hard feet
you are quiet in your markings
but the thought of you
is burned across my chest

silent footsteps
menacing with their threat of destruction
here
i have frayed and tarried in your alterations
covered in your shame

swollen heart
each drop of blood
purged by your greedy mouth
tongue searing
at my thinly veiled courtesy

pure and unpainted
you linger
to shred the last of my dignity
and claim my land with your flag
for all to witness

lead me to the pain
for i am exhausted by this existence
here
i am awakened by my fear
and set forth upon the world

blood beneath nails
searching
rest, easy
for the scars are still raw from your existence

let me play with broken fingers
of shadows dressed in light
though effervescence vainly seeks
meaning in the night
for in the day, not cloaked by fear
are you, coiled to strike
unknowingly, your savagery
and mine grow more alike

the murderer
bent on the possession of a heart
your wish for acceptance is futile
for i can not forgive the static you have formed over me
you martyr, victim
in my brightest day i was your darkest hour
you smothered the heat burning at my lips
with your ill tempered vacancy
your every act filled with falsities
yet mine were twisted to be changed
light clouds morphed into dark shadows
my sorrow was yours

heart caged and unable to escape
you hold the key willingly
controlled
a glint in your eye
please destroy your hold on me
and allow me to keep my heart here
locked and sore beneath my breast
but i am lucid enough to feel your stare
and this fog cannot be lifted
i'm forcing my eyes to adjust
to see the knife i know is in your hand
ready to brand my heart
scar it with your mark
and leave it there
steadily bleeding
the pain is so relieving that i am able to sleep
quietly

accept me for who i am
beneath the skin i am so vulnerable
but on the outside i am tough
you'll never break through

pound upon my chest
my heart won't skip a beat
but please
do not rest your lips upon mine
for it will be a kiss of death

**** the venom from my tongue
and stay with me here

engulf me in your stare
the unfamiliar look that shows such honesty in your eyes
i can't breathe
please let me go
release me from this gaze
gasping for air, i'll beg you
stay with me here
but do not turn your eyes upon my face
for you will see the suffering there
and i cannot bare your pain
for i am barely withstanding mine
weep not my love
i will end it soon
do not gaze upon my face
so that we may live on in this world
smiling upon other faces that reflect our falsities

sky so black the stars ate my soul
take the pieces of my heart
devour them slowly with you jagged teeth
i want to feel what's underneath
steal away
i can't feel a thing

what sadness is leached from your heart to your brow?
unable to show what you truly emote
scathed in darkness
your treachery lies there
hidden still by the magic you've used to fog my eyes
but i am here
standing in the street, neck craned up at the sky
searching for hope, light
but the moon does not appear
cloaked by your entity, your shadow
what light prevails there, beneath the darkest blanket?
what bought breaks past your distant window?
is it the stillness inside of you rupturing?

someday it shall emerge
grotesquely from your centre
and devour all that remains
and there your body will lie, twitching
a blood-filled cavity
useless attempting to repair the fatal blow

and i will miss you
for now all that remains is hollow
the lifeless look in your stare haunts me
so i will not return here
for in my mind, you died that day
and all that i had ever hoped for
went away with you too

the utter despair
of your tasteless lips
smooth
cold as stone across mine
new horizons
bring endless hope
and longing
to feel the warmth of the sun
in your kiss once more

waiting for the world to stop spinning
long enough for me to catch my breath
i cannot stop this overflow
i can only freeze it
though my strength is weakening
be wary
for someday this pain will emerge from my chest
and the overflow will cascade
from the dark hollow in my chest
and drown all in its rage

unity of the sea
chaotic on my heart of grace
near to the dawn of hope
where i lay my secrets to rest
soft as the bark of the decaying tree
ignited by the sparks of clashing reflections
of silver-lined clouds
sweet anchor
lured by the surrounding essence of your evolution
forgotten and bemused
for your vision remains the ecstasy of my being
the anarchy to my resolve
leading me astray from my home
for everything in you has flourished in my dying territory
but when i flee your path in fear of crossing lines
and the danger set to my heart
will i be hunted by your guards?
for you hunger its purity
no, maybe i am to expect a new horizon
intoxicatingly beautiful
and blind to the prospect of chance
delved into the trenches of the water
unafraid of its findings
someday, i shall declare my allegiance
beyond the glimmer of a fallen pledge
and i too, will bathe in its tranquility

the image you make of me
is your own reflection
i am not your mirror
nor am i yours
every lash that you inflicted
was only a fragment of what you deserve
you are wretched
and it is not a solitary presumption
you wonder at your isolation
but i know it is in your making of webs
easily thread, but easily torn down
you are viewed for your fabrication
stretched across a dim reality
along with your people
i see them
in your land of fantasy
a boy's adventure, not fit for a man
it's time to grow up, Peter
the world is not full of pirates
save for the ones that you create
this is not a childhood fantasy
you are not a victim to the world
you're unbelievable
and that's not saying much

radio silence

i am left grasping at weak ideas
plastered through my brain
i do not believe you are aware
of the harm you cause me
in your absence

how selfish i must seem
to desire you for myself
how young and naïve i look
in your eyes of solitude
am i a fool?
for seeing something in your blind stare?
or were you truthful to me there?

the wavelengths between our separation burns
marring the pale skin you once caressed
i wonder at my reflection
failing to recognize myself
for i do not feel the same
you shifted something unknown to me
and with every ounce of strength
i have failed to put it back
you disappeared sooner than i expected
with little more than a faint good-bye

how girlish i must be to you
how weak and desperate
to hold each kind word in such high regard
to you i am worthless
to you i am destroyed, broken
a dead toy
used and unamusing to keep your time

search through your channels
for what you require
but do not expect my reply
for i  turned you to static
at the first sound of change

stolen flame
burnt fingers upon still heartache
wary of the trust in you
my faith stings
beneath each careful step
left believing in something
that is not confirmed or denied

i lay here
hanging
on each empty word
filled with anxiety
i am lost
you are too
but we managed to find each other
in the damp forest

i can't say how long i'll last
in your crystal gaze
frozen in your ways
for i am tired
and full of aching heartbeats
thriving on your existence
but you survive without me

i am lost
i see you no longer here
you have shifted

i am gone

****** out upon the water's edge
frost thick in the air
pieces of hardened snow
clung to the frozen shore
the depths beneath
still quaking with fire
while the surface remains unmarred
cold
you whisper softly to me
careful not to startle
my nervous heart
wary of the water's danger

cast down by lightning
shadows in mist
behind twisted trees
and through tall grass
i seek the heart of an immaculate noble
grazed by frequent arrows
but none strike true
for i am not whole
clear target, without a mark
i strowed my essence over the land
but unable to collect them again
i must seek a replacement
before i disappear
offset by your charm am i
for i am faded
in likeness to the desolate acreage
removed slowly by people
here, in the alcove of my chest
lie my forgotten sentiments
that lead as a stepping stone
into this solitary cavern
caught in your unrest
at the sight of my lightless tower were you
so i caged the generated aggression
and burned for your light, an example
now, quell your swollen heart
with remedies of restful eyes
safe, beneath the sheltered forest
as i fade to my foundation

you've never seemed so far away
locked within my vessel
the land of shades
lacking space for your luminosity
so i await the knight
to crest the hill
dawning the torch of you
to rescue me from the vacant village
of broken greying huts
the fire sparks an interest
in the dying land
and sets forth your phoenix
to destroy all that remains
and when the smoke clears
there shines a gentle light
the saviour from my pallid fantasy
shattered through the night

the inherent loneliness creeps back into my body
heart bent around something that doesn't exist for me
although it flusters easily
i use all i have to fill the void
though it does nothing for me
in the desolate hours of the night
when i cannot sleep because i am alone
i dare not open the chest of you
it leaves more tar across my rib cage
sticky and infuriating to remove
burn me once more
there must be something meaningful in this pain

i cannot wait to see you again
to feel the peaceful marks of your existence
the wind, tousling your mane, mixing it with mine
your face, your presence, your heart
beating strongly beside mine
as we run through bright fields of embers
our past glowing in the distant background

when all that is left here is us
we will go to that spot
where we were separated
and dig up my heart together
you will return it to me
so that i may fill it with my essence, my love

and i will gladly return it to you once more
for it is yours
forever branded by you

it is the only thing i can give to you while you're gone
please, be comforted
i gave you my whole to protect you until i can find you again

and when i find you
i will sacrifice myself to keep you safe

this time
i can stay with you

*forever

you gave me everything
so i gave you my heart

i let you keep it with you
for safekeeping
but what do i do now
that you've gone and it's broken?
do i bury it alongside you,
or do i keep the fragile pieces and attempt to mend them

maybe
i'll give you a piece
so that someday
when it's glued
and stitched
and scarred from living
i can look back at the missing piece
and think of everything you gave me

beautiful soul trapped in a distant glass
unable to escape the torment of black smoke
poured into your casing
and with every breath you become a little tainted
your light ripped from the wick
dripping hot wax
pungent with the darkness
its tar filled mouth opens
widely
for a warped smile
darker than the night
this is the one who swallowed the night
as if it were a tease
to its ever growing hunger
fear consumes
and allows it to seep through your skin
caressing your soul
tugging at the strings surrounding you
all you can do to ebb away the pain
is close your eyes
silent
and beg for release
but it gets more painful
the more you resist
but you've seen her
the one who sits beside him
how cold and ruthless she appears
he took from her
purity
feeling
life
you refuse to ease the pain
instead you gouge a knife into your thigh
to awaken a new pain
and darkness
intent on your possession
tightens
you choke
but you continue to concentrate on the pain

not flawed
but written with promises that cannot be kept
promises to love forever
waver on a thin line
for it is hard to converge onto one path
is this life solitary?
or are we meant to find someone?
i cannot help but believe in love
it is so addictive
the rush of my heart, exhilarating
each breath in your arms, free
if i found love in someone so wrong
then finding it in the right person should exist
i do not ask for much
truly, it is a rarity  that i request anything but your love
whoever you are
and truth
but surely if you love me
you are truthful

you are beautiful
i know, for i love you
and i would not feel so strongly
if your heart were ugly
for i do not care for your looks
i care for your kindness
your wit and charm

i wish you were a reality
for i dream of you often
although you always remain faceless
but you are holding me and laughing
it sounds like music, this laughter
so carefree as you pull me closer

someday i will find you
and i will laugh too
for i will know that what i have found
is all i was searching for

the disappointment in your vacancy
stretched across the country side
mirrored in my eyes of water
for your body is the sea
your ignorance of these sentiments
writhe between my lungs
and play a rhythm on my heart
foreign and savage
each silent word is screamed
upon my eager ears
and from the line stretched across my face
you can tell I am broken
by the distance at my side
and the silence bites my tongue
heavy and anchored, it remains
for i shall not reach out to you
if my efforts are in vain

children
marked by innocence
yet already stained
by ever-growing adolescence
who are you?
they remain faceless
until they attain the understanding
sounds of laughter slowly diminish
and are replaced by words
the joy is stolen back
for it was never truly theirs
the temporary purity
quickly becomes spotted
with yellow and green