radio silence

i am left grasping at weak ideas
plastered through my brain
i do not believe you are aware
of the harm you cause me
in your absence

how selfish i must seem
to desire you for myself
how young and naïve i look
in your eyes of solitude
am i a fool?
for seeing something in your blind stare?
or were you truthful to me there?

the wavelengths between our separation burns
marring the pale skin you once caressed
i wonder at my reflection
failing to recognize myself
for i do not feel the same
you shifted something unknown to me
and with every ounce of strength
i have failed to put it back
you disappeared sooner than i expected
with little more than a faint good-bye

how girlish i must be to you
how weak and desperate
to hold each kind word in such high regard
to you i am worthless
to you i am destroyed, broken
a dead toy
used and unamusing to keep your time

search through your channels
for what you require
but do not expect my reply
for i  turned you to static
at the first sound of change