kiss me through the glass
and the steam from my
breath will blur your face.

how did you get inside
here, I brought you some
cigarettes, now take them

and we can touch fingers,
or I'll press my hand up to the
window and close my eyes.

the woman said I could come
frequently, but that you might not
come, no signatures, no papers,

with that straightjacket on.
don't look at me like that.
our visits are seldom

enough, and I wish for more
than minutes, here I'm
just around the corner and

you prefer empty contours.
just let go and fall. I'll catch you
I promise, I'll catch you.

The sun rose with your name dripping from her lips this morning
every inch of myself itched with the burning imprint of your fingertips.
and with every moment your teeth scraped my hips.
My cries were a symphony that clashed with symbols of my satisfaction.
Our mumbled blessings cursed with the morning light.
Our memories washed by the whiskey of the previous night.
in this haze I can’t think
Of the difference between wrong and right.
4:00 am has never shone so bright.
and you and I aren’t bound for life.
I doubt we’re even bound for tonight.
But she and I and I and you
have stuck through tougher things,
with bound hands and stick like glue.
but if you lose yourself.
I will find you, underneath a blood moon.

"You're my favorite mess."
I'm sorry about the coffee stain swallowing your button down.
And don't give me some ******* about how it actually looks better that way.
There will always be my lipstick stain on the edge of the wine glasses.
I've never been so brave until I licked a tequila bottle dry and told you I loved you.
I do love you.
I love you in the same special way a ****** agrees to kiss you on the mouth.
And she means it.
Sometimes I don't write you because I'm too busy wondering if you're staring at the same moon through a different window.
Lord knows, I love to keep you guessing.
Torturing you with too much imagination, I'm an *******.
So I scream into thunderstorms so nobody ever has to hear me suffer, especially you, because you think I'm better than that.
I'm here, tripping over any subtle difference on my path
And you are there, walking a straight line,
accepting.
I'm a spilled beer being mopped up by an old t-shirt.
"You're my favorite mess
I could never bring myself to clean you up"

You love me, even though I've never heard you say it.
And knowing that, my ***** soul ignites, becomes rigid, and forever remains uncompromising.

I love the light
the way colors appear before us
varying hues and shades and textures
vibrant or dull
but always alive
the way light bends around us
to reveal a reality
an illusion
I love the light
for showing me that a dark bedroom
is nothing to be afraid of
I love the light
for filling me with strength
for healing me
that blazing ball of gas we circle
some cultures worship it
and I can see why
light gives life
light gives color
light gives darkness
and excitement
light…
the promise of something fresh
something new
“got a light?”

when all your sorries blur together
they almost sound
sincere

the problem is I can't.
I can't trust anyone.
I have issues going across railroad tracks without making sure once, twice, three times that a train isn't coming.
when I muster up courage to look in a full body mirror, which isn't often, I check my reflection five times to make sure a scar isn't visible.
when I read ten word poems, I count each and every word seven times.
so why would I trust him when there is no proof to check nine times?

my skin still smells
you linger
longer than I could have thought
perhaps, I think you thought I was something special.
"You really are beautiful."
Darling, there are demons in my spine, leaking fluids into my brain.
and I'm insane.
So don't stand so close to my flame.

i can't believe i wasted
poetry
on you.