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Kareena May 2014
You should have known
From a long time ago
That the seeds that you plant
Are the seeds that you sow

So be careful what you do
And be careful what you say
Because that hurt you deliver
Will turn back your way

You'll find the broken ones
Have found their way back
And you are where they were
Starting to crack

I feel badly knowing you're hurt
Honest, I do
I know that some things can't be helped
Life's not always easy to do

But when I look back
And think about those times that I was there
Alone and hurting
Without you seeming to give me a care

I realize that I can't do anything
And neither can you
So you might as well sit back
And enjoy the view
Kareena May 2014
I would hope to become someone of importance
Or just to be myself
That's all I really need
Kareena Feb 2014
My chest full of drawers holds my life
Although, of drawers, it only has three
It contains all of the objects
That define the girl that is me

My watch to count the hours
My glasses to guide my sight
My pens to write my story
My lamp to see at night

My bible to teach me how to live
My baby blanket, with which it is covered
With its little glass knobs and craftsmanship
It embodies my grandmother

Since she is gone, this is what I have
My little night-side table of drawers
It is my representation of her
To cherish and adore

It holds my secrets
Those ones I've never shared
All of my unfinished letters
Because even now I know she cares

She is there to confide in
And helps me remember to believe
She encourages me to stay true to myself
And, of my pain, she does relieve
I wish she were still here, because I miss those days.
Kareena Mar 2014
Take me to that place in your heart
Where you have taken no one else

Show me those things
You are hiding from yourself

Indulge me in your past
Your memories, my dear

Even though you are confused
To me, it is all clear

I'll touch the broken parts
Make them disappear if you desire

I'll travel the world for you
Because you have set my heart afire

I will keep your secrets
Safe and sound

In my own chamber of thoughts
Where they can be found

And I can't tell the future
I don't have any plans

But I would never plan to change you
Because you are a great man
For someone special
Kareena Apr 2014
Looking back, from a while ago
Your past may be dulled and the colors somewhat faded
The pain not as sharp
So it's hard to remember what was

So you think and think
About what you thought it was
When your thoughts are only a romanticized version
Of what really was there

Where you saw love
There was actually selfishness and disdain
Where you saw hope
There was an empty abyss
Everything is askew
So you don't know where to begin
You don't know what to believe
Kareena Aug 2015
I am always the first to cave in an argument
Like a burning building
With a collapsing ceiling
I fall all at once
The fire is too hot
The smoke is too thick to see my own side

What is it that I want?
What is it that I need?
I'm so used to hearing answers from you
But what about me?

I hate asking questions to myself
Because I don't know the answers to my own dilemmas
I had better begin searching in the corners of rooms,
On postage stamps that are on their journey to foreign lands,
Or in the pages of my old diaries

What did I think I was going to be like?
What did I want?
Maybe that way I can help myself find
What I do want

I always wanted to be stronger
A force to be reckoned with
Instead I cringe whenever I am yelled at
And let others have their way

So maybe now is the time
To be the girl I always wanted to be
Because former me
Would want me to want to be herself
Kareena Mar 2014
You told me I'd find someone better
And I have
But, better is a relative term

Better in the way that when I am around him
I don't have to pretend to be your idea
Of who I should have been

Better in the way that when he tells me I'm beautiful
I know he means it
And doesn't resent me

But better doesn't mean that it feels better
When he holds my hand
It's just a different feeling
Than when you did

Nothing will ever let me forget the first time you held mine
Going down an escalator at the aquarium
To look at the jellyfish or the turtles
When the loud speaker said "For all the young children, their guardian needs to hold their hand to ensure safety on the escalator"
And you laced your fingers into mine
And a smile spread across your face, that I couldn't miss
A smile unlike how you smile for all of your school pictures
It was genuine
The Other One
Kareena Mar 2014
When I look at you
A flood of emotions pour in
Nervousness
Contempt
Anger
Sadness
Anxiety
Nostalgia
Fear
Bu­t I cover it with a mask
So no one can see how I really feel when I look at you
The other one
Kareena Mar 2015
Sometimes I see you guys together
And I'm happy for you two
I mean, it seems like she is lovely
And, it seems you're happy too

But if you are so happy
And appearances are true
Then why do you look so sad
Every time I look at you?
Kareena Mar 2014
If you were the rain
Then by my glance
You would cease to pour
But I am intrigued by you
Show me more
Show me more

I want to hear
Your increased droning on outside
I want to see
Why you've made the clouds cry

What I want
Is a secret you've hidden
It's something I've lost
To my mind, it is ridden

I can't shake this rain
As it falls from the sky
Because when you walked away
I never felt it was goodbye

So as it rains
And pours on this day
I just wanted to scream out
What I needed to say

You were here
You always have been, always will be
But the problem was
You never believed
Kareena Apr 2020
When I do not feel heard
Sometimes I close my eyes
And let my mind take me
In the damp and cold night

I slip out my back porch
Close the door quietly behind
Tiptoing through my yard
So I won't wake you
Before you should know

I walk down the steep hill
Past my house
Farther away, deeper still
Treading on drenched asphalt
Without my phone

Maybe you should have realized me
When I was home?
Kareena Jan 2015
I love you in the way when the darkness falls
And we're both laying there without a sound
I can feel comfortable drifting away to sleep
With our legs intertwined, arms in uncomfortable positions, my lips barely touching your neck, your fingertips outlining the curvatures of my face
I look for the words to not say to disturb this ounce of a scrapbook moment that is placed right within our grasp
I know that when I wake up in the morning you'll be gone
Yet, I still dream of falling asleep while you're there
For Someone Special. Nothing more than sleeping
Kareena Jun 2018
I hated her
I used to
The way she silently scribbled of you
On used napkins with borrowed pens
Loving someone who would never return
It stung but she craved it
The rhymes helped with the burn

I hated the way that she cared
The way she held on
The way she was scared
Her lingering devotion
Hands tangled in wrought
Loved the way that she wrote
Hate the way that she thought

Now, I want to be her
Again, I always will be her
The one that documents asides
Of you, in the margins of my notebook
Of your curly thick locks
As they go from midnight to cloudy
As laugh lines settle
Into our seasoned smiles
As crow's feet form
On our twinkling eyes
I'll forever write of how you bewitch me
Kareena Nov 2016
How silly and fickle I am
To let you affect me
In a way I don't understand
Like there was force
An invisible string
Pulling me to you
Tugging and weaving me
Through winding roads
Having conversations past midnight
In a car with headlights
That illuminate trees whizzing by
Set to playlists I always listen to
Music I've never actually shared
Moments never actually experienced

I just don't think I could stand
To be hurt by you again
I pour myself out so easily
I don't leave anything to the imagination
My heart opens so easily
But I need to be guarded
I need to protect myself
I need to be your friend
And right now it needs to be enough
And there's no way you couldn't know
How difficult this is for me
It is
I feel like if I were to be near you
I would disintegrate entirely
I maybe would lose myself again
I really don't know how I will feel
And that scares me more than anything
I've just built you up in my mind
For so many years, I forget
What it's like to have your entire attention
For a single instance in time and space
Just us for a moment after years of apathy
I'm curious, who have you grown up to be?

Maybe it would give me some clarity
I feel like maybe that's all I really need
It's impossible to know anything about you
Unless I look you in the eyes and feel it's true
There are just a lot of tough feelings
Kareena Dec 2014
A wise man once told me:
"All relationships have their life span"
We can't force a time period on them
They are guided only by fate's hand

Ours lived and died in its time
When I wanted it to live on forever
I wanted to conquer life with you
I wanted to face it together

Fate decided ours in its time
And I can say that I never knew
And after all of this time only I can say
That, honestly, I think of you

It's not that you consume my thoughts
I am still happy on any given day
But I see you even though it appears that I don't
And I instinctively look the other way

I can't face you directly
So, instead, I just look at my shoes
Although everyone has repeatedly said
To not care at all about you

But some part of me wonders
If you hear me thinking out loud
And if you still look onward
To see my face in a crowd
The Other One. This is the first time in a while I reflected on everything like this.
Kareena Jan 2015
I saw a shooting star tonight
And thought of wishing for you
When I looked over beside me
And saw him smiling my way

I thought about my life
In that split second that it passed
The tail burning brightly
In the dark night sky

And I wouldn't change a thing
Not a broken heart
Not a minute wasted
Not a moment regretted

Because I am happy
With how my life is
Just the way it is
So I closed my eyes tightly
Knowing already, I got my wish
Kareena Nov 2016
I've worked so hard
To be where I am
To be somewhat okay
By myself
And to be strong
In some regards
And here you are
Are you different?
I need to know
Before I am more
Invested
I've woven so much
Of my heart into you
Over the years
Over so many circumstances
But I need you
To show me you actually care
To want to know
What I'm up to
What I think and feel
To feel like you actually care
About who I truly am
I'm not a back up
A second plan
An alternate route
A drifting thought
Because I can't be that girl
Not for you
Not again
I know with all certainty
I can't stand to be hurt
Not by you
Not again
Kareena Feb 2015
Today, like many days
My special friend in study hall
Asks me why I am not dating you

He tells me that when we broke up
It broke his heart
Because he loved us being together

So he recently told me
That while he knows
We are with other people

He has been secretly
Or not so secretly
Trying to get us back together

By telling each other
When we are near
In hopes that we will talk

Now, this is extremely embarrassing
Considering I am very awkward around you
And you don't want to see me anyway

But I put up with it
Because I love him
And I know you do too

He told me that he wants us to be together
Because he said he loves me
And he loves you too
Even though you are a "womanizer" who drives a gas guzzler

And he wants the two people
He loves
To love each other

But every time He says this
I have to remind him
That not everything is perfect

Like how he says sometimes Tesla cars catch on fire
Despite their fuel efficiency
And stylish appearance

And even though University of Kentucky
Has an amazing basketball team
They still have 92% coal emissions
Only if you know him, you will understand
Kareena Aug 2015
If the beauty standard of a thigh gap
Were replaced with the beauty standard
Of a **** gap
Then many more women would feel
Beautiful
Just a thought
Kareena Mar 2014
Being left alone
To wonder
Is always the worst part
You
Kareena Feb 2014
You
I just want to say that I love you.
And it is not just because we are together,
I am not being forced to say it.

You just are the best person I could ever ask for
And I feel like I don't deserve someone so nice to me
But you always say I do, always.

So I will keep believing every word you say
Because you are genuine, always
Genuinely you
For someone special.
You
Kareena Feb 2015
You
I love to hear your muffled voice
When you answer the phone
If I call you too late or early
And you are still bed

And I love the way you cover me up
If I fall asleep on the couch
Even if I don't look cold
Because you know don't want me to freeze

You are the ideal romantic
You take care of me
Not because you have to
But because you want to

You brush stray hairs off of my face
And tell me when there is something on my back
You are my best friend
You look out for me

You are always there
To lend an ear or a cuddle
Depending on the mood
But, nevertheless, always there

Sometimes I snap
If I have had a bad day
Even though it is not your fault
I should not take it out on you

I don't mean it
Not any of those times
Because, in reality
I want to take care of you too

You've said "No one treats me like you do"
But I still feel like I should treat you better
Because I know it's what you deserve
It's something I can give
Kareena Jan 2014
The first summer's rain after the drought
Is always the sweetest

The first drop in the bucket after it has been emptied
Makes one feel the completest

You saved me from myself

From my thoughts

My unanswered questions

From the doubt in my mind

That I would ever find someone
Someone to make me feel like me

But not just myself, an enhanced me
Like I had always imagined it would feel
The first poem I ever wrote for that "Someone Special"
Kareena Mar 2015
I have come to a conclusion

You either care for me deeply or completely hate me

Because nothing else could ever explain

The damaged look

On your face when I walked by you tonight*

And just said "hi"
Is it bad that I can't tell the difference, other one?

— The End —