Time is such a heavy concept, it falls like a rock but flies like a feather. The more you try to ignore it, the more it burns you; if you were to stare it in the eyes, you would likely go blind. What I'm trying to say is, I hate thinking that in less than 3 months, I won't have an excuse to see you everyday. That, in less than 90 days, they'll give me a piece a paper that is the key to the cage forbidding our distance. In less than 4,400 hours, I'll be packed and a couple hundred miles away. Of course, it'd only be 2,102,400 minutes until I dawn the cap and gown and am released into the world, but God only knows where you'll be and who you'll be with. So, in these last 7,776,000 seconds we have until they call our names and we walk the stage, I'm asking if it's worth it.

You are such a beautiful thing. Brighter than any star, stronger than any metal, softer than any heart... even though you try to convince me otherwise. Call me jealous and selfish, but the thought of you loving another makes my heart concave in a silent implosion. I think it's so very ironic that my heart decided to stop working not long after we said goodbye. It's like a small child that knows what it wants: your arms around me, your lips on mine, your smell on my clothes, your laughter in my ear, your beautiful brown eyes staring back into mine... and I wonder if it's been too long. And I wonder if 7,776,000 seconds is worth it.

Jesus Christ
I'm in the same spot I was a year ago
Mentally
Not by means of location
In terms of proximity, last year I was closer to you
We've both moved farther apart
Ironic
God
I still remember the footpath I took when entering your house
the one with all the boys and the one with your beautiful family
Your mother is a goddess, and your father is the sweetest thing
Your brother is a little jokester, and your sister is an angel
I was not worthy
Speaking your name these days
It frightens me
Sometimes I don't even believe that we were ever 'us'
I've been in pain over the loss of you longer than we were together
I thought I laid you down and let you go
but you've stuck to me like a leech
the weight of your corpse is making my shoulders slump
stealing my joy like stolen scotch
just ******* out everything
You had no idea and it's not your fault
I should not have hurt someone as precious as you
glorious man
let the record play a little longer
I'm doing everything in my power not to write your name
that order of letters together makes me feel so powerless
It horrifies my soul and makes my heart ache like a purple bruise
Imagine what life would be like if we still talked
Would it be better? Would it worse? It would probably be the same
But at least I'd have your hand on my legs
Train wanderers
I never thought you would be the one to hop off first
I'm so ******* sorry.

"Seen 9:15 am"
no response

I still have your tshirt.
I found it a few days after giving you back your stuff --
I'm not sure why I still have it, but it hasn't moved
Still on the bottom of my dresser drawer.
There've been 147 nights where I've wanted to crawl in it
And sleep like I used to, but I'm stronger than that, right?

Do you remember how I stole your tshirt?

We were hanging at your place when I got really sleepy
And you knew I absolutly cannot sleep in a bra.
You were a gentleman and left me to change
Into that baggy grey tshirt you offered me.
I crawled into your bed and began to drift off
While you finished messing around on your computer.
After a while you came to lay with me. I remember you
Kissed my forehead, or maybe my shoulder, probably both,
But we laid together and just forgot the world;
Completely entangled in each other in the most innocent of ways.

It's one of my favorite memories,
But I can understand if you need it back.
I've held on to it too long, clutched it too tight
Now that lifeline is cutting my palms,
Trying to find a way back to you.