The hands spin round
Lost time unfound
But I'm not looking
For that hint of yesterday

I'm not beating a dead horse
I feel no remorse
A friendly calm memory
Replaces the clashing of pots and pans
That was you and me

Two years and I am at peace
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak
Because I miss the friendship we had
But I've known for awhile how to live without it

So it is okay if I'm dismissed
If I ever extend my hand into the abyss
To try to reach you from afar
After so much time
It's nothing more than a wish
That you have a beautiful life

If the beauty standard of a thigh gap
Were replaced with the beauty standard
Of a **** gap
Then many more women would feel
Beautiful

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

We are together still, but
Like a disjointed door
We have a hinge hanging on
And one on the floor

I am always the first to cave in an argument
Like a burning building
With a collapsing ceiling
I fall all at once
The fire is too hot
The smoke is too thick to see my own side

What is it that I want?
What is it that I need?
I'm so used to hearing answers from you
But what about me?

I hate asking questions to myself
Because I don't know the answers to my own dilemmas
I had better begin searching in the corners of rooms,
On postage stamps that are on their journey to foreign lands,
Or in the pages of my old diaries

What did I think I was going to be like?
What did I want?
Maybe that way I can help myself find
What I do want

I always wanted to be stronger
A force to be reckoned with
Instead I cringe whenever I am yelled at
And let others have their way

So maybe now is the time
To be the girl I always wanted to be
Because former me
Would want me to want to be herself

I pinned my hair in curls tonight
It took an hour or two
But when I wake and undo my work
I'm not dolled up for you

Because the blush on my cheeks
Is not made of powder
The pigment on my skin
Is composed of anger
And contempt for you
Where there used to be love
Is a constant fight
My heart is an open space
An area that I'm not sure
That I want you to occupy
Anymore

You pushed me past my pushing point,
I won't ever let you through
So now don't you see? Reality?
I'm dressed for me, not you.

I'm dating depression
He knocks on my door
Although he smiles for miles
I knows he hides more

Depression just loves me
He's been other places
He takes other forms
Same guy, but new faces

He sneaks up on me
With surprise in his eyes
Claiming he changed who he was
But I know he lies

People change too
Like the leaves in the fall
And as the foliage fades
My lover does call

"Love me like only you do"
"Need me because I need you"
"Protect me from what I can't help"
**"Save me, but from myself"