For some reason

I would love to heal

The distrust in your eyes

I can still hear you walking,
stomping
Hoping you don't hear me talking,
stopping
realizing I'm talking to myself
cause there is no one else

You know, I used to get sick of the way
I cover everything up with laughter
I got it from you
And I used to wish I never had
It makes it hard to deal with things
Because I don't
I just laugh until it doesn't hurt
And sometimes that's worse

I used to hate how nervous I get
Before leaving the house
Always searching for something else
Always feeling like I'm missing something
It's not that cold,
but what if my car breaks down?

But I miss how smart you were
And how humble you were
When asking how to spell simple words
I **** at spelling, too
I got a lot of bad things from you
Or so I used to think

But now, it's as though all my flaws
Have become pieces of you
Laced through different parts of me
How could I ever hate them now?
I'm still learning to love myself because of you
I'm still growing to love the way you taught me to
I love myself even better now
And it's all because of you

It hurts to write
and I don't mean my hand

darkness under light
defines the contours of space
shadow deepens shine

the
     sky
           was
can    dy    lu
minous
            edible
spry
        pinks shy
lemons
greens    coo    1 choc
olate
s.

  un    der,
  a    lo
co
mo
      tive        s  pout
                               ing
                                     vi
                                     o
                                     lets

March comes like a punching bag

March will bring her smiles like plastic bags
Some tear some don’t
You never know when she will glare her teeth like razorblades and bleed the snow
from underneath these fingertips.
Leave my insulation soaked, me; feverish.
And the joke is, I saw this coming
shivering the melted ice out of me she
bares her grin like a warning sign,
and I was either too brave or dumb enough to step inside
like a welcome mat made out of ice
and a cartoon dog
A scared pitbull, and a woman in charge.
The joke is that haha
There is no joke, you walked in.,
and made one out of yourself.
Out of the frost on your eyelashes and grief on your fingernails.
haha get it,
sweat her out like the coldest fever, without dying of shock.
Get it now?
She brings back the taste of firewood and comfort of flames when you needed it the most
Punches like the best punchline
hard enough to make it hurt
not hard enough to make you forget
hahaha
Knocks the wind out of you.