I wanted it to be you
I wanted it to be you so badly
but I am not Alice
and this is not my wonderland

j.f

He said "i knew because the silent parts of me were blatantly audible to you"

Funny when your mind thinks one thing but your heart feels another,
After seeing you with someone else makes me wonder.
Why I have this feeling in my stomach,
A thousand nots tangled up it's makin me sick.
One minute I think I'm fine and don't need you,
Yet the next I catch myself crying and feeling blue.
I said I didn't like you but I'm starting to think I do...
Every time I kiss you it's like an electric shock goes right through me,
So many butterflies and thinking maybe we could be.
But my mind comes back and I hit reality.
I let you go twice for similar reasons,
Idk if this is something that will last or if it's just another season.
That will fade away into the next,
I no longer know what to expect.
My feelings seem to change everyday,
And every time I try to talk to you about it I just don't know what to say...
Maybe I just miss having someone care about me,
To hold, to love, and to talk to daily.
But I don't want to interfere with your new fling
So I'll sit back and let you be happy even though it still kinda stings.
Leaves you in a place that's not very sunny,
Turns out I guess it never really was funny...

You sit on your brazen altar
worshipped as Venus
for your fake beauty
your feigned sincerity
corrupting anyone who listens
to your propaganda

whisks of dyed blonde hair
fall around your face in layers
so common a haircut
and this, so human
your greatest weapon?

I can’t watch you anymore,
so spiderlike,
catch the weaker men in your web
and with well thought out battle strategies
drain of them of every happiness
until they are broken
and alone

And these games are your life
once, they were mine too
but that was a decade ago
now, I have no desire
to play these breaking games.

Dear Stars,
Whether you be of now, or of moments long forgotten;
Do not think of me.
Whether you dangle near, or amongst many silken companions;
Do not consider me one of them.
Whether you observe life, or glimpse only the vast expanse of black;
Please. Do not see me.
For I came from you;
And until I again return,
There could be no greater injustice.