I'm so tired of nothing but confusion,
And I'm so tired of all the using.
You just told me how you love me,
Yet then two days later you act like you want me to let you be.
So maybe you love me not,
Bc you made me feel like I'm not even a thought....
In your mind anymore,
You ignored me and made me feel everything less than adored.
So why tell me one thing but show me another?
Bc I'm not gonna sit here and smother...
You with all my affection towards you,
When I'm wasting my time and our time is pasted due.
If it's true and you're afraid to love me that's fine,
I'm not ever going to cross any lines.
To where I'd hurt you,
I'm just hoping you won't too.
Last night you made me feel something I didn't want you to make me feel,
I know that feeling too well...
It takes me back to hurtful places,
To where all my love went wasted.
I just don't want that to happen again,
But I want to be more than just your friend.
So don't think I'm not afraid to love again too,
I might not know everything but I know I'd like to be with you.

Idk why I would always be attracted to the ppl who were broken,
I have so much hope in them and want to help them open...
Their feelings again,
I want to make them feel safe so that their hearts can finally mend.
Only now that I stop and look back,
In doing so it only caused my heart to be attacked.
Do I even help them or do they only drag me down?
Thinking back you made my hope drown.
I thought I could help you,
Actually I was positive too.
Yet instead of you putting your wall down I let mine fall,
Giving you my everything hell I gave you my all.
I think this is something you like to do,
Torment woman until they feel blue.
Until they feel belittled and hopeless,
Then you leave them in a big ****** up mess.
Insecure, bitter and wondering how you fake love so well,
Making them sit back and dwell.
Let me just stop and say thank you,
For everything you put me through.
All I wanted to do was help make you feel,
Help you break down and feel something real.
Instead you made me realize that sometimes you end up changing instead,
Thanks to you I'll never let another man play with my head.
Now I no how to read manipulation in a second,
And now I know why you hated your reflection.
You can't deal with what you do,
At least what I try to do is true....
Pure, good, and right,
I'm not gonna let you take away the light.
That I have burning inside of me,
I broke loose from your grasp and now I'm free.
I'm gonna go on and help someone else who can actually be helped,
You wanted to change but you're gonna have to change yourself.

Sometimes I feel rain is good for the soul,
Watering me back to life making me whole.
Surrounded by ppl who do nothing but **** you dry,
It's nice to relax sometimes and let the day go by.
No worries for the day,
Not being bothered, tormented, or played.
Just you and your mind trying to make peace,
Stop your mind and go blank taking a deep breath and just release.
All the stress and all the care,
Feels so good to get a fresh breath of air.
Release the toxins of the body mind and soul,
Forget everything for this second and let it roll...
Right off your shoulders feeling less pressure now,
Listening to the rain drops falling and just bow.
Your head and finish with a prayer,
Thank you for today lord and for always being there.

I miss you so much it hurts,
Almost everyday that goes by I feel it gets worse.
You were not only my lover but my best friend,
I will be here for you until the very end.
Why? Bc I love you.
Yeah we would argue and yeah we'd fight,
But at the end of the day we were together every night.
Holding each other and laing in bed,
It didn't matter what ran through my head.
Why? Bc I love you.
You hurt me too many times,
But you know what it was apart of the  climb...
That built us up yet broke up down,
I don't know how many times I heard the sound...
Of me crying yet I let you back in,
I didn't care what you did I'd let you win.
Why? Bc I love you.
We were together for three years,
I didn't care about any of the tears...
That you made me cry.
It didn't matter as long as I had you,
I was there for you through and through.
Why? Bc I love you.
My wall got higher,
And my heart turned into a big fire...
That ended up burning you,
I guess karma finally paid its dues.
I ended up cheating Bc I didn't know what else to do.
I look back on it now and I regret having you feel the same hurt too.
Why Bc I love you.
I'm ashamed of what I did,
But then again I was a 19 year old kid...
I'll always love you but you don't understand,
In my heart you always be my man...
Why? Bc I love you.

It's crazy how people have to live off of alcohol or drugs...
You go to all these parties and they just want you to chug.
Not only to get drunk but it's supposed to help hide the pain,
But what really from it do you gain?
Popularity or a substitute to get by,
Waking up the next morning thinking why?
Why do I put my self through this?
To feel a moment of peace and bliss?
Yet when you wake up still wanting the same wish...
For happiness Bc that's what everyone wants,
Not to have your head filled up with taunts...
Of the past,
But do we ever honestly get past?
Of all the sadness and all of the hurt...
Looking back thinking was it really worth...
Suffering your body to feel numb,
Chugging down not only a bottle of ***...
But doing Molly or smoking ****,
Bc at that time thats what you thought you'd need.
Yet in the end we wake up feeling the same,
Bc in your mind you'll never forget his name.
Love is a strong thing and you'll never forget,
All the times you shared and the first time you met.
No matter what you take into your body it doesn't take away what's inside,
You need to let it out and you need to cry.
Don't turn to anything else but your tears,
You need to let go of all of your fears.
Trust in the lord Bc that's what's right,
And pray to him at the end of the night.
He's the only on who will get you through,
Everything you've been through Bc he was right there along with you.

Now a days there's too much drama,
And what come along with it is my dear friend karma.
Fool me once shame on you,
Fool me twice ima go coo coo.
I'm very forgiving most of the time,
But **** me over twice and I'll show you what's between the lines.
I'll get you back ten times worse,
You better hope karma gets to you first.
Oh but don't worry I won't physically hurt you,
But you gonna wish you were dead after what ima put you through.
Something they call hell I guess you can say,
You started the game so come on let's play.
You lost one thing that's hard to get,
It's called respect something you've never heard of I bet...
You lost a good friend,
That ***** for you.
I would have had your back til the end,
But that's another thing you blew.
That's something your good at right?
That's why you grabbed my mans **** that night.
Well here's something else you can blow,
My ******* Bc that **** was low.
Even low for a person like you,
We were best friends but that's not was friends do.
We were supposed to get a house together in the spring,
You can live in a cardboard box Bc your not a human being.
Your a snake,
And our friendship is something I can easily replace.

It's crazy how after almost two years I still feel lost without you,
You were my best friend for so long but our time was over due.
You were my first love and I'll never forget,
There's nothing about our relationship that I regret.
Except for hurting you,
But you pushed me so far away i didn't know what else to do.
That love for you will never go away,
I've thought about you so much today.
I wonder if there are times when you still think of me,
And if you do I hope you see...
The beauty in it all,
Instead of being hateful and continuing your wall.
I hope one day you forgive me,
And maybe then we can talk to on another and see...
How the other has been,
Listen to it all and just smile with a grin.
Talk about old memories we shared,
Think back and see how much we cared.
Then maybe realize that we still do...
You may deny it now but our love was something true.
You were my first love and I'll forever cater to you,
Even though you hide it from them and yourself you'll always love me too.
I had a dream about you last night,
Every time I do it always feels right.
Until I wake up and your still not here...
Just within an awakening eye you disappear,
Realizing your gone again makes them fill up with tears.
Never wanting to wake up and when I do I fear.
That I'll never see you again Bc that's the only time I ever do my dear.