I drink not for the dead.
They needn't escape, nor
Celebrate.

I drink not for the lost.
They need not flee from
Past or fate.

I drink for all the rest.
For those who have no
Cup nor wine.

To them, I'm raising mine.
The ones who stay to
Work and fight

Through the day and darkest
Night. Who rest beyond
Sobriety.

I suppose I drink for me.

it wasnt the first text
rather the initial sext
that set me head over heels
no, i wont forget the next
for it surpased the rest
and passed the ultimate test

left me grappling with feelings
feelings that may never be entertained
except he felt the same  
the same as i....

left me wondering, which did he love?
is it my name or my fame?
or was it the heart or face?
whatever it was,
it ran with the river tibet,
im gona go fishing today,
to look for the treasure,
the treasure to win him all over again
for he is mine.
handpicked i say, handpicked

My pain cannot be hidden,
All my words are tinged with red, not because I misspelled them,
But because my pain cannot be hidden

I trusted, I admired and I loved, but no, you didn't
All you wanted was to make me bleed
Just one knife hole would have been enough
But no, only a million needle ****** would do for you

You said I was beautiful inside
My thoughts led me to believe it was my heart you were referring to
But no, you were talking about my ******
How could I be so naive!

With my eyes closed, I let you strip away the innocence of my youth
All in hope that you would stay,
But no, you had other plans
You were on mission “use and discard”

Yes, you succeeded
Everyone told me that I could live without you,
“We have all been there and back” they said
But no, that was a fabrication,
A common platitude… that doesn't work

Well that was yesterday, before I saw you with that girl today,
Your accomplice on mission; “break her down”
But no, this time you didn't succeed
Well it’s true that we are all like pebbles of sand, the wind can blow us away
You are not an exception

~

My entire life, days I didn’t even know I existed,
hours I sat in the window staring out
Moments spent walking along empty highways
exhaustedly scanning the horizons
Gazing into the night sky, dreaming beyond the moon
Pacing a weakened floor, counting the creaks
Peering behind shadow coated tree lines,
reaching for that which has eluded me

spent looking for you, not even sure who you were
Just knowing that you were out there
you…it has always been you

Sitting on a curb, head in my hands,
lost within the thoughts of my fate,
dreaming of the darkness which seems to follow me,
I feel a warmth, the cold wind changes
Soft hands upon my shoulders rest
and I look between crossed fingers,
seeing that smile, those eyes, realizing
I have not found you…you have found me

You lift me, I feel light, weightless,
as your lips meet mine, and I see
you…it has always been you

Suddenly it all makes sense,
while feeling time was wasted,
remembering footprints mounting the many faded trails,
sunlight opens a new chapter
proving I was not wrong  
Love has found me and it is
you…it has always been you

I would've given birth
To you,
Endured whatever
Mothers do.
Instead, I did
What Dads do.

I rocked you
Til my future shook;
Watched you til
I couldn't look.
As you changed,
I changed too,
To do the things
That Dads do.

You were bathed,
Dressed and fed;
I loved you so much
I was saved.

If there's credit,
Well, I get it,
For teaching you to read.
I took the blame
When you got bored
With school's ABC's.

I followed you
In all your roles,
Your teams,
Your solos,
Your trips,
Your shows.
First to clap,
Last to sit;
I taped it all,
From start -
To finish.

I taught you
How to tie a lace,
Ride a bike,
Golf and skate.
When time arrived
For you to drive,
You learned
On standard,
Never stranded,
You came home alive.

Your highs
I took in stride,
By example taught
Humility's pride.
Your lows,
I couldn't internalize,
I dropped my guard
With my eyes.

When Dad's do well
It's a double edge,
The future wedge.
The world
Revealed
Desired you too.
I don't dismiss
What mothers do,
But when Dads do well,
Both lose you.