Something told me to hold still when I met you, that it would only sting a little / like maybe the sea wasn't wet or something

daffodil midnights, upside down on the bottle, listening to my lips spill dread over your pretty hands, how my knees remind me that I can't reach them

I'm over feet
over toes / oh no here I go
overload I'm -
in-over my head I'm,
against my own limbs, sometimes

but it was only the wall
it's just a couch
a few shots, your jeans, my kingdom
2 airplanes, a couple of hours
my head in your hands
my heart on the floor
broken secrets, happy birthday
happy birthday
I love you, I loved you
I can't stop playing that goodbye

I imagine outer space to feel like this.
like;
no matter what, I can't lie down.
seeing a star that close made
all else seem
so much less bright.
I'm unimpressed.
I just want to love again but, you left that spell on me.
my eyes don't see color anymore,
my arms aren't reaching.
you printed poems onto my bones.
my mouth won't let me say marvelous and my hands quit thinking.
I'll turn to dust like this darling.
I'll be a little sandstorm on your
shore for awhile and
dizzily dissolve into your
winsome crashing.

strung out on
drunk stung-drumming under this skin
isn't mine when you touch it
fight the belting, beg again
memorized muscle and music
trying and failing
melting and falling
repeat the crawling song;
confused teeth, knees
leaving feet, forgetful hand-smothered-feelings \ religious breathing, heart-beat bleeding, gentle breeze please lift my ribs with your pleases after my name leaves your gut after my nails peel you off, an ode to pretending, for stopping;
a better use of force
a better Wednesday waiting
sistering indifference and swelling on sheets never made for pigments preferring the latter again, and I
I haven't felt this way since my leaves fell
since the water settled under my belt
before & after lonely
refer me to laughter when I cannot breathe  & cry about how it'll never work

I'm not without the thought of you converging into me
'Cause everyone I've ever met is nothing close to we
So tell me where we're going next and I will pack my things
The south and north and east and west will teach us how to sing
I've noted only happy days that I've already spent
Beside the shadow of the sun in everywhere we went
And I cannot explain this to a single 'nother soul
you're part of what makes all of me, your being makes me whole
We'll stumble into other things and try to catch our breath
But in the end it's me and you until there's nothing left
And even then we'll see ourselves exactly as we should
And trust that all we've done to date is only for the good
I loved you then, I love you now and that will never change
your moon's become the only star that hasn't gone away
I'll live inside the galaxy that brings me to your bed
And recognize your presence as my senses are reset
I've held you one too many times and here we go again
I want to have you something bad don't let this be the end

ecstatic, lateral / irrational longing
ticktock time bomb waiting for your
slack to tighten, get back to me

whiskey-stung bottom lip under
white sheets and thunder
hollow hands hold out heavy-
drowned secrets from my left lung
make the nights last longer
make the air even against the thought of what you sing when I'm leaving

recount the loudest bouts from which I crumble
worship one thigh at a time, my god
why don't they come with a warning;
the morning put stones on my bowing
another good reason to kiss you
another's lost lover, ocean story
red-wave cravings
I'll pay in great shades of grey & plunder
shave my legs and go
right back under

sunburnt stitches girl
you're early grasp I'm
itchy grass
& I can't, I'm mad
I can't I can and cannot stand
how it still goes
I keep quiet I
still walk barefoot on this shell-sharp sand
still crawl through the memory of your legs
back of the head regret, on top of another body
it's just coffee it's just
time after time
never the right amount of miles

I want to
stop loving you now
cause sometimes
I wish I could scream the word out loud
use your name
so they know all of these were always to you

you're about as
quiet as lightning
& just as much ;
you put the light in it
I'm counting down from two-thousand,
slowly
quitting breakfast and everything early
that bird can keep it like:
what am I supposed to do if I can't have you
what kind of a sudden is it breathing cause I have to \
****** the gasps I caught you stealing-
Saturday mourning on Wednesday's feelings
saying
I like Monday cause, Friday's fleeting

I own the rest of my hair, you know
you own my body
I'm as open as the screen-door you broke
& you did handstands for someone else already
otherwise I'd listen, cause
I can't find the lyrics in splitting
can't find the best in bleeding
that love was airplane-waiting
that love was
silent begging, restless leg\
restless blinking
rip the
day out my weeks baby
till all I keep lie sleeping