why you
as my best friend
have to stab me in the heart
with a feather?
something so soft & small
yet so painful
that pierces the heart
more than almost anything else.
it isn't a pang of jealousy
it's the feather
of you & her 'fake dating'
whatever the **** that means
stabbing me in the heart.
you know how recent
thoughts of her stopped
going through my mind.

so why stab me
with this feather?

the second i'm over you
i start dreaming about you every night
the second i'm over you
you call me cute wearing tiaras
the second i'm over you
sobbing into your shoulder is my favourite thing
the second i'm over you
why do you come calling back to me?

Check message
Facebook
Check message
Instagram
Check message
Send message
Wait
Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat

you still call me many names
a *******
ani
*****
babes
*****
even cheeky munchkins
they're things you call all your friends.

but i just want to be your darling once again.

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down