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Jude kyrie Oct 2016
A poem of lost love
By
Jude Kyrie


**Tonight I am breaking the promises
i made to myself again.
The ones I made
to my heart and soul.
That I would not write
poetry to you ever again.

To lock the doors to my heart
So that thoughts of you
Could not get back in
And dwell in my dreams.

Throwing away
the keys to my heart
Into the deepest ocean.
Never to be found again.

To exercise the ghost you left
haunting the ruins of my soul.
Walking about inside it
As if I was still your home.
As if I was ever enough
To keep you here.

I promised I would let you go.
To continue surviving and breathing
Even with the dagger
You left in my heart.

I promised myself
I did not need thoughts
of you to write
my poetry any more.

But here I am again.
Writing to you more poems.
Because you are still at the base
of every one of my thoughts.

And without you
There is no more
poetry left in me.
So because....
because of that.
I can justify to myself.
That
This is better,
This is better
This is better.
Than nothing at all
Have you ever been here
I was once a long long time ago
Jude
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
This is definitely not a love poem.
by
Jude Kyrie

Don’t take this as a love poem.
I do not care to relive our moments.
Like when I saw you for the first time.
And the songs of angels rang in my heart.

I will never write a love poem for you again.
Like when we sheltered from the spring rain
Below a maple tree in olive greens
And the colour of its leaves
Were the exact colour of your eyes.

I am finished with silly love poems
And will never mention again
How I stop and my heart skips a beat
when I hear a laugh
exactly like yours.
Or see a woman from behind
and her hair is burnished gold
Just like I remember yours.

I am now quiet over you.
In fact I hardly ever think of you anymore.
Except perhaps in blossoming springtime.
But then I should never think of springtime.
For that would surely
break my heart in two.
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Don’t take this as a love poem.
I do not care to relive moments.
Like when i saw you for the first time.
And the songs of angels rang in my heart.
I will never write a love poem for you again.
Like when we sheltered from the spring rain
Below a maple tree in olive greens
And the colour of its leaves
Were the exact colour of your eyes.
I am finished with silly love poems
And will never mention again
How i stop when i hear a laugh
exactly like yours.
Or see a woman from behind
And her hair is burnished gold
Just like yours.
I am now quiet over you.
I hardly ever think of you anymore.
Except perhaps in springtime
But then i should never think of springtime
For that would surely
break my heart in two.
loss bittersweet
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Like the old house of my birth?
I know you will be back to me.
My smile awaits for you.
Through sunlit windows.
Creaks of joy on the stairs.
Cracks in the night.
The smell of bread in the oven.
The warmth of a winter fire.
The love that lives in its rafters.
I will wait for you
Like your old house
I know
You will be back to me.
I will wait forever my love.
Until then the rain will pour
From my windows like tears.
Jude kyrie Oct 2016
Uncle 'erbert on the Joanna
Aunty Mabel on the mike.
Singing rollout the barrel
All Alf ****** on saturday nite.

Cousin Doris in the armchairs
Face to stop a ****** clock
Giving me the greasy eyeball
And a stare to knock me
round the block

Grandad 'arrys in the money
His nag came in at 1O to 1
Granny Edie's sweet as honey
She get sour when
all the money's gone.

Cousin Cecil pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made em cry.
And when the boys came out to play
He kissed them too
Cos he's a bit that way.

It will end in a ****** fight
Mixing this loss is hit and miss
But they do it every saturday nite
It's just my family on the ****.
Jude kyrie Aug 2019
THROUGH A DOGS EYES.

I am old and tired now and my duty on this planet is almost finished.
It seems only a fleeting moment again that I was a puppy.
I was so lucky that I met him.

It was a sunny summer day I was huddled in a ball of fur with six other puppies.
A sign outside the stoop said Golden's for sale no papers.
He drove up in his sports car and walked to the stoop where we were.
He had kind eyes and dogs have the ability  to see the soul through the eyes of others and it was a good soul.

Every dog knows they are living a karma that they must be the best they can be as a dog and one day they would be born as a human child.  This is common sense to a dog.

I fought my way to the front of the puppy heap. And he picked me up I could smell the kindness pouring out from his skin.
This one he said as I licked his face this one is the one I want.
He named me Niko after the famous scientists nikola Tesla.  My human soulmate was  a science teacher at the high school.

He took me everywhere I never was left at home but sat quietly  next to his desk as he instructed the children in his class.
At break time the children would play with me we ran and chased sticks and *****.  I was so happy.
At night I slept at the foot of his bed it was my duty to protect  him.

To say that we loved each other  was a gross understatement we sat together at night and watched television together that's where I learned all about human culture.  Animal planet was my favorite  program and I watched it every day.
It was perfect perhaps too perfect to last I was fully grown now a big golden retriever.
It changed that morning  we went to school as always.
I slept beside his desk and the sound of his voice was comforting and safe.
Then she came into the room she was young and pretty  in a human kind of way.
He smiled at her and they talked about teaching methods and school politics.  I could smell her perfume and pheromones pungent in the air.
I tried to get his attention to take me out but he was fixated on her.
The shop talk took a back seat and dinner dates took it's place.

After that she was always around she sat on the sofa on my spot and I tried to let her know she was not welcome here this was my seat and he was mine. She should know I would never share him. But she got to me patting my head kissing my crown.  Your so pretty Niko she purred.
But she took my place on the bed as well and they put me out of the room as they wrestled on the sleeping spot. I heard strange noises and laughter as I waited outside the door.
Later I was allowed  back in the room it was full of odors of humans but it was comforting..  We were a family together him her and me their dog friend.  Soon I loved her as much as him.
I could not wait for her to kiss my head and rub my tummy.

Then just as I was getting  settled  in to my new arrangement  it changed again.
I watched her rubbing her belly like she did with mine.  And there was a roundness to it. I could smell the aroma of another human being put together inside her.  And I knew it meant changes to our life.
Later as her belly became  rounder and she rested on the sofa I saw it Move the new human was stirring  inside her.
Oh Niko come here it's alright she  sang.
I wandered over put your head here sweetheart patting her belly.
I rested my big head on her tummy.
Then I felt the new human kick me I nearly fell off the sofa.  She felt my fear and smiled oh Niko it's just the baby letting us know it is alright.

In the middle of the night a few weeks later they rushed out of the door and car started and screeched its tires and they never took me with them.  
A day later they came home Carrying the new human in their arms.
I was curious  and later she called me Niko come and meet Angel
I entered the bedroom and she was holding the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I was afraid that I would love her if I looked too long
but it was too late I already  knew that I did.

The next few years were the best years of my life.we did everything as a family, my beautiful family my purpose in life to love and protect them all
Angel grew to ten and I was getting  old but we were inseparable I was hugged every time she left the house.  And I worshipped her.

Then her mom was unwell she was crying with headaches always swallowing things out of a little  bottle they never wrestled on the sleeping place or made their happy sounds.  I was worried.
A while later she was doing dishes and fainted on the floor I rushed to her and liked her face until she woke up.

Then I cursed the limitations of being a dog my big flappy tongue  that could  not let me Enunciate words like a human flapped in uselessness as only whines and barks came out.
I could smell the sickness in her head it had an odor or rotting vegetation faint and constantly there I knew it it was bad it was the sickness.
I stayed by her side all though the sickness even seen she lost her hair I poured my love to her.
I saw my owner crying holding angel telling her they were losing her.
They Needed me more than ever now and for sure I must stay here with them even though my time was near I had my duty to fulfill for my karma as a dog. It was my purpose for being.
It was springtime when she left us I was sat next to her bed as her hand was resting on my old head I felt it lighten and slip from me and I knew  ...i knew.
I barked quietly and they came up and wept.

A year later
I was losing  my sight my eyes were fuzzy and I did not see things very well.
The day I wandered into the road as a car hit me I knew it was my fault my time and I knew my duty in my dog karma had been completed faithfully  and I was ready for my next journey with my soul.
Angel rushed out and held my head I looked into her beautiful  face
Don't die stay with me she wept I gave her my last look with her memory  fixed in my soul ready to live forever as souls do and I would see her in my dreams in my next life.

Eight years later
My owner had moved to New England as principal to a.prestigious academy.
Angel had grown into a beautiful  young woman.
She was training as a caregiver and working for the winter break at the orphanage in the nearby blue collar town
The children were mostly  from poor families.
Her dad picked her up and dropped her off at work.
And as he waited in the yard of the institution he saw a little boy of about 8 years of age.
He had beautiful  long Sandy hair and deep dark eyes.
Angel came out ready to go Home and saw her father walking over to the boy.
They looked into each others eyes and saw deep into their souls a familiar place that he recognized
The nurse from the orphanage joined them and said he's been with us for four years since his parents were killed in a car accident. He has never spoken a word since being here.

Angel said what is your name honey he lifted his face and looked at the lovely young woman and said softly my name is Nicholas but you can call me Niko.

Five years later
Niko had been formally  adopted and was turning into a fine young man
All was well in their world's
And just like clouds that change shape
Their family changed shape once more and peace reigned in their lives.
Which as all dogs are born knowing is just  Karma so you can be born again one day into something  much much better.
The end
Inspired by the movies
The art of racing in the rain.
A MUST SEE for all dog lovers
Jude
Jude kyrie Oct 2015

"All the world is a stage"
So lets rob it
Jesse James
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
I think I should trust more than I do.
But there again
in this world doesn't everyone
have an agenda.
But it would be nice to trust people.
My mom used to say
look them in theceye
and tell the truth..
my grandmother
was wiser than mom.
But then look how old she was.
She told me.
There are two kinds of people
who cant look you in the eye.
One who is trying to hide the truth.
And
one who is trying
to hide their love for you.  
Its wise
but I am not sure it helps
with the trust thing.
Jude kyrie Feb 2016
4am Thoughts

*Tonight the light of a tender moon
Blooms like stardust in my bedroom.
I think of happy people
not people like me.
They are lay under silk sheets
In a sleeping embrace.
Her softness comforts him
Even in his dreams he feels her.
The soft breathing of their sleeping children
makes the night even more tender.
In the waking morning
Their children will go to school
She will kiss her husband
As he leaves for work.
With a have a good day honey.
And the world is all
as it should be.
The dream fades
It 4am again.
And I am lay here sleepless.
Alone In my bed.
Thinking about
a beautiful woman.
That I should have stopped loving
a very long time ago
Jude kyrie Apr 2016
Tonight the sky and sea are one.
Both dark and endless
the aegean sea swells
beyond the small
overcrowded craft.
Behind us terror and injustice
beyond us the unknown
world of the West.
The full moon shines it's light
I see the face of God on it.
in the waters of the swollen sea
I see the faces of my children
and the smile of my wife.
Closing my eyes in reverence
I pray to a God I only half believe
in  for forgiveness
A god that knows my frailty
and in my desperation
I ask him to vent his wrath
upon me.
And to spare the innocence
of my wife and children.
Jude kyrie May 2016
Sunday evenings
are when you come to me.
Half asleep in my chair
you are there.
Half a lifetime
you have been gone.
But it melts to now in seconds.
At the view of your face
so beautiful to me.
I am your little boy again mom.
living in the old house?
You fix a band aid
on my cut knee.
kiss my tears away .
be a good little soldier you say
but I was not there
to tend your wounds mom
God knows that's all I wanted.
Thirty years have passed
yet still I am not over you.
I look into our old parlor
you lift a lock of hair
from my eyes
more as a gesture
of deepest affection.
and for a second
I feel you are telling me
I still belong to you.
When it's my time mom
meet me at heavens door
because even with infinity ahead.
I don't want to lose
a second with you
I love you mom.
rest in Peace my Angel
love
your son
Jude
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
I am sitting writing poems to you
On the dark side of the moon.
It’s quietness helps me think clearly
And I will be back to see you soon.

When I look outward
It’s hard to understand
How many trillion stars exist.
More than every grain of sand.

I turn to look at the earth below
A blue spec spinning in the sky
And then I see our tiny little home.
Where we will live until we die

Where together we live our tiny life
But we are happy you and I
Out here all the stars and planets
are lonely and alone
But we are a man and wife
Two little specks that love
And are always  free to roam.

Maybe we don’t count for much
In the vast worlds of time and space.
But  all these wonders I can see
Will pale when I come home
and see your face.
Jude kyrie May 2016
Winters icy patterns
Adorn the window pane
The moon a glitterball
  of snowflake
it's Christmas tide again

Boots are crushing snowflakes
All about the tiny town
Carrollers singing in the distance
A joyful Christmas sound.

My boyhood heart is bursting
Theres no other time like this
As under the hanging mistletoe
My parents share a kiss

now older my chrismas times
Are busy filled with modern toys
But in my heart I feel a longing
For a time of simpler joys
Sometimes I want a holiday like in the old days. Jude
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
In cold winter my mind is calling
to the Spring.
Sweet apple blossoms are falling
in the Spring.
When fruit trees fortel their story
of future bounty glory.
And the throaty songbirds sing
in the Spring.

Oh! to walk beneath the blossoms
in the spring.
Heady perfumes now are calling
every loving heart to sing.
with cascades of branches falling
the cuckoo bird is lilting
in the spring.

To see a country bride
with her new  husband by her side
her hair in an  apple blossemed crown.
in a joy that only apple blossoms bring
in the spring.

I want to walk about the town
in the spring.
as the fruit trees wear thier crown
in the spring.
To see all the ladies wear
apple blossoms in thier hair.
Apple blossoms everywhere
in the spring.
Oh!
in the spring.
just need a promise of Spring
jude
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
She was five today
We walked to the park
A low brilliant winter sun
Lit up an evergreen conifer
Like a Christmas tree
The pine cones on
the edges of its branches
on fire briefly like candles
She squealed in delight
Look mommy
The angels have sent me
A Christmas tree
For my birthday.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
Tied in a Blue Ribbon

The news that you wrote to me
has my heart singing with joy my love.
You will be home for the Christmas season
Love songs are playing
on the strings of my heart.
she wrote in her lovely handwriting
The notepaper perfumed
little crosses signified her kisses.

He read the letter again and again
it was in in the pocket of his army fatigues
her perfume sweet full of memories
as he held it to his face
in the arid terrain of the desert.

I cannot wait only a week
before you return my love
I feel your fingers touching my heart
telling it you will care for it love it
keep it safe
I am so in love with you
so in love
she wrote

The old lady opened her souvenir box
and picked up the folder of his letters
wrapped in a blue ribbon.

she read them as always
in the sequence
that he wrote them to her
somehow it felt as if
he was still on duty
far away like so long ago

His handwriting
so nice to see again
his words as sweet
as the day she first read them
He never did make it home that Christmas.
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
Time to say goodbye
A poem of new beginnings
by Jude kyrie

When I lost you my darling
The winter fell from eternity.
Crystals of you fell in the snowflakes.
Sparkling as your eyes once did.
In the light of old  street lamps.

I could not move on without you my love.
I had folded my heart into a love letter
And placed it in your soul to keep forever.

Yet after all these lonely years without you.
She has found me, and taken my hand
Leading  me to the sunlight
that we once shared together.

Perhaps that would have been enough once.
But the dinner at the old Hotel
Had candles of red and green to celebrate
the festive season of goodwill to man

Stored away in the freezer of my heart.
The ice crystals cannot
live in the warmth of this season.
Even as they  try to fight the glow.

They are frozen as cold as ice.
Upon  the memories
of our old Christmas past.

Yet she is here now.
not to replace you.
or take away what you were.
but to take all that is
left of me.
and shine it like old silver.

in the festive restaurant.
Her smile is a cure for my sadness.
Her hand is my guiding light
Her heart is glowing
like the yule log in the fireplace.

Then from the candlelight,
You send my cure
The one I have waited for
In an eternity of sadness.

The future ghost of Christmas
Was in the candlelight that danced
Inside her beautiful eyes.
And quietly in the glow of Christmas.
I am finally able to say to you.
That it is
time to say goodbye my love.
Moving on takes time.
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 2019
Time travels of an old man


It's simple to be young again
No longer old and frail like me.
But handsome and seventeen
I close my eyes and find
sleep descending
like a foggy mantle.

My buddies join me
We are sharing a doobie in Nam.
I can still  feel the love of these guys.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
The evening is dark tonight
Moonless.

Charlie mounts an attack.
The tracer bullets light up the clearing.
My young friends are cut down.
Crying for their mother.

Air power blows Charlie away.
Joe my best friend
lies dying in my arms.
He whispered  his last breath
I love you man.
I am weeping
Not as much as I love you man.

I was hit too but not dead.

My travels in time move on now
It's six months later in West Virginia

I walk to the trailer door
With the use of my cane.
A new lifelong appendage.

A beautiful  young woman  answers
She is holding a baby in her arms.

I pass the letter that we prepared
In case well just in case.
It has blood on the envelope
I tell her it was mine.

She wept as she read Joe's letter.
I hold her baby as she reads it.
Whispering to him
See buddy your just fine
Your not dead at all.
I love you man.

I wake from my time travels
It's the 21st century.
But the tears in my eyes
Are from so long ago.
Ahh
Travelling  back in time
Can make you weep
Sometimes
Jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
When I just a baby girl.
I was covered in tiny twinkling lights,
They were everywhere on me so lovely.
You could hardly see
the spaces between them.
That was before I found out how to lie.
That truth had many shades
from purest white
to darkest black with so many greys.
Sometimes a small light would fade
Mom there won’t be alcohol there..
Other times a row of them went dark
Mom I did not sleep with him.
Then some lies made them all glow dimmer.
It’s alright Dad I don’t do drugs.
Now older I walk alone in the city streets.
On a rainy dark night
the store windows look like a hall of mirrors.
I can see my reflection ghostlike
all my pretty lights are faded.
I look tired and jaded.
but if you look very closely
between the falling raindrops,
like tears streaming down the windows.
You may see just a few of my lights
a glimmer of them hardly visible.
So stubborn they wont be the last ones
to go out.
they are around my heart
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
I remember when you were tiny
So fascinated by the moon
We hung a sky of golden stars
On the ceiling of your room.

You tied strings from star to star
Making star patterns yet unknown.
Became a bedtime spaceman.
That in your stars you roamed.

I think of the first time
You went outside in dark of night
To look at the spangled heavens
And Bathe in their magic light.

Your wide eyes saw earth’s ceiling
With a billion stars so bright.
It send your tiny heart reelling
On the clear and wondrous night.

The stars told you they loved you
Every planet star and all
But you were frightened of them
They made you feel so small.

You could not change the constellations
In the space beyond the sky.
And the feeling of being tiny
Almost made you cry.

But listen little traveler.
There’s something you must know
The minute that you were born on earth.
A new star began to glow.
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
I remember so long ago
My father said
There is a time in life
You are more of yourself
Than ever before or again.
He was fifty one then.
Was it something about the maples?
That made him say that.

There is a time in life
You are more of yourself
Than ever before or again.
I wonder for me
Is it now?
I know so much more than before.
Was it something about the maples?
That made him say that.
Yet only a single leaf is vermilion.

I know so much more than before
I always thought he would live forever
Yet only a single leaf is vermillion.
Even his lifeblood had secrets.

I always thought he would live forever
My mother his perfect companion
Even his lifeblood had secrets.
I thought I was ever their child

I see my mothers face at my age
Is this when I will be most myself
I remember my fathers words.
In dreams it is never winter.

When will I be most myself?
I remember Dads words
In dreams it is never winter
He was fifty one then
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Today he sent me a rainbow
September 11 2001

As a little girl he sat next to me at school.
I always liked him. no more than that.
Later we walked home together
he would carry my books.
At graduation he was my date.
We even went to college together.
That was when we broke the chains
of friendship and he became my lover.
My first and only love.
We married young it was no surprise
to our parents they were expecting it.
Before I knew it we had three kids
Two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.
It was just like any other day
He came home from work
Cooked burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed
drank a glass of wine
went to bed at ten.
He wanted to make love
but I was exhausted
the kids had been terrors all day.
The next day he kissed me goodbye
With a see you later honey.
I got a call from my friend
She said put on the TV
I saw the towers fall
Turning to ashes
Like my life did that moment.
All I could think was
I wish I had made love
to him last night.
September 11  2015
The children are all gown up now
He would be so proud of them.
I look at my strong handsome son.
He looks like him exactly
We stand at ground zero
and say a prayer.
I whisper it was always you honey
Only you.
As if by magic he answered me
A giant beautiful rainbow
Circled over  New York
And I know it was for me.
a picture of a rainbow over ground zero appeared in the UK paper daily express it inspired this write.
jude
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
Today I am writing
the story of my life.
Each day a page
of unwritten drama.
Between crowing rooster
And dulcet nightingale
A new chapter forms.
It has many undulations.
Full of laughter and tears.
Many love stories.
Scenes of beauty
Others of despair.
Never knowing
What the next
page contains
I wait with anticipation
For the curtain to rise
And fall on each new day
Not knowing
how to end the book.
It becomes longer and longer.
The plot more complex.
Now never sure
If tomorrow is the last page
But I must leave now
Today I am writing
The story of my life.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
Today I cried

Today my tears are falling
My tears have a heart of their own
they flow like a river to fill the oceans.
Tears fall for the moon
and all it has witnessed.
For the souls of the broken
on this planet.

They cry for the cotton woman
whose bleeding fingers
worked for the man.
.They fall for lost loves
and lost friends.

For misty green days of olive green.
For the sobbing sax wailing the blues.
For movies with sad endings.
The oceans are salty
with the tears of forever.
But they cry the hardest for me.
Just Because.
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
Once more I am writing poems
to the spirits that haunt my heart.
The ones that wail at my bones
beneath my skin.
Let all this darkness flow in my ink.
Pouring itself onto paper like blue veins.
Letting light back inside
make me whole again.
Its three in the morning
I am digging in the ruins of my heart.
Unearthing old broken memories.
Once you collected all the stars
In the milky way and
pressed them into my hands.
To guide you through
the darkness of life you said.
How could I not stop the gods
from taking you.
The one who could collect stars.
When you left I folded my heart
into a love letter.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to eternity.
I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains,
So I write to them one more time.
As the dying embers of your stars
fade one by one.
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
Finding you was like
hearing a Chopin nocturne
for the very first time.
knowing instantly
that the sound of it
would forever
touch my heart.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
I have seen the sun and moon
Shining with majesty in full grace
I have seen the starlit night
But never seen your face

I have heard sweet orchestras
Playing sweet music to rejoice
The purest choirs of perfect sound
But never heard your voice

My fingertips have touched finest silks
And velvets soft textures too
The finest objects in the land
But never once touched you

I have kissed the breaking of the dawn
And twilights magic rise
The crystal shining dew of morn
But never kissed your eyes

In my dreams I have done wanton things
Drank aphrodisiacs from a witches brew
Awoken in a fiery glow
But never once with you.
Jude kyrie Sep 2018
Tonight I must forget her
My broken heart must know
No more warmth will she ever bring us
Or light as pure as snow

Tonight I must forget her
And the music of her sighs
No more her love for me will render
From the diamonds of her eyes.

Tonight I must forget her
Let my thoughts of her be blurred
Her voice that's in my memory
Tonight must not be heard.

I must forget her quickly
And lock my memories door.
Or else I will surely break my heart
If I should  remember her, once more
ahh
love lost
Jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2018
Tonight I must forget her
My wounded heart must know
No more warmth will she ever bring us
Or light as pure as snow

Tonight I must forget her
And the music of her sighs
No more her love for me will render
From the diamonds of her eyes.

Tonight I must forget her
Let my thoughts of her be blurred
Her voice that's in my memory
Tonight must not be heard.

I must forget her quickly
And lock my memories door.
Or I will surely break my heart
If I should  remember her, once more
Bittersweet memories of love
Jude
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
I usually do not wear pearls.
But today is my birthday
they will stay around my neck
all through the night.
He was hopeless at presents.
He always brought
me one of course.
For birthdays,
anniversary and Christmas.
For some reason
he never got what I wanted.

It did not matter, I do not care.
He was the only gift I ever needed.
He always made me laugh
when my dark moods came.
How did he always
make me feel so beautiful?

When the illness came
he tried to hide it from me.
But I knew ...I knew

Even now after all this time
I have danced
the practiced movements of love
with other impostors.

But when the dark of night
fills my bedroom
Its you honey
only you.
Only you knew how fix me.

Tonight I will sleep quietly
dreaming of you.
As I am wearing
your birthday pearls once more.
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool upon the floor.

Our childhood passed
so fast, so fast.
I wished it would never end.
We were more than best of friends.

After finals you threw your *******
from the window of the car.
And then I threw out mine.
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

The we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
We finally learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top
Who would have guessed
You were to be the big success

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and my world
is now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh.
friends forever my love
Jude kyrie May 2016
Tossed in a Storm

I fell in love with you
It was a simple choice.
Because I did not have a choice.
We do not choose
Who our heart falls in love with.
I am struck by your lightning.
I am Drowned in your Rain.
I am deafened by your thunder.
You are the heart of a hurricane.
And I am tossed
in the eye of your storm.
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
It was so long ago
So very long ago
he was an ordinary man.
Not handsome at all
In fact not really my type.

But he wore me down
Waiting outside my small flat
In the pouring Seattle rain just to
Catch a glimpse of me.

Why I married him
I shall never know.
Perhaps because he cried
In sad movies.
Or because he was gentle
And would never try to
control me.

He always knew
how to make me laugh.
To get me out of my many
dark moods.
How on earth did he always
Make me feel so beautiful.?

Then the sickness came.
He tried to hide it from me.
But I knew…..I knew.
Then when I lost him
the world became a sadder
place.

There have been other imposters
Over the passing years.
I danced the choreographed
movements of love with them.

But when the shadows of night
Covered the fading twilight.
And I was alone in my bed.
It was always you honey.
Always you.
Only you knew
how to fix me,
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
I have waited my whole life for you.
Only for you who stayed a beloved stranger
Time has jaded my heart the waiting is too long
Now I stop seeking you in crowded cities
Am I never to see the need in your eyes?
Or feel the burn of your passion
All wonders of the universe are faded
My consuming desire is to find you
Within this short lifespan.
Even with fervent prayer
The Gods let you elude me,
Have we met and passed like ships
In the misty ocean who can tell.
Are you looking into a mirror
And seeing my face my want.
Inside my heart aches
With long waiting days
Come to me my lover
Find the pathway to my door
Sing our songs of love
Before the winter of my life.
Come now in my summer
Let us bathe in its warmth together
Jude kyrie Mar 2017
Touch me forever
BY
Jude Kyrie

Touch me wth your music
Touch me with your glove
Kiss me with your with your passion
But touch me with your love

Bring to me your sunlight
When there is no moon above
Touch me with your heart light  
But touch me with your love

Bring to me safe places
when the panic holds me tight
Be my nightingale in moonlight
When dark clouds are up above
But touch me with your love

when the lights go out forever
And you see an empty chair
Look into the mirror
You will see me looking there

Look into the starlight
In the heavens up above
And there up in the blue light
Touch me once more with your love
Jude kyrie Oct 2018
Touch me. In the night
Like starlight lights the room.
Softly as their light
Falls upon us in its bloom

Touch me in the night
As the starlight sparkles
the darkened hours
Softly with its breath as
it submits to its gentle powers.

Touch me in the night
As a spark lights raging fires
Burning tender in passions bright
Smolder me in sweet desires.

Hold me close so all is right
Touch me in the night
We are not made to sleep alone
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 2016
He was too young for me.
I should have just walked away.
But God is no so kind to divorcees
close to the age of forty with a
lot of dissolutionment with urban life.
My husband cheated on me
with his secretary.
Tell me you haven't
heard that before.
I met him at a family get together.
a BBQ with awful food
and cheap wine.
it was his youth I think
it glowed like freedom.
All the emotions yet to happen.
not all those that had already been.
He dumped his girlfriend
when he saw me.
I don't know why
she was pretty and perky
and so very young.
not like me at all.
He caught me looking at him
but I did not release my gaze.
That was cruel he was a just a boy
I found out later he was Twenty two
he gave me all I needed at that time.
All the things my rat ******* husband
had never given to me.
I admit I used him for his beauty
and his life that shone from him.
But I did not know
I was falling in love with him.
he stripped me with his eyes or smile.
I could not wait to undress for him.
My mother so wise
said let him go honey.
but I didn't.
He moved in to my urban nest.
the few hundred square feet
that was mine where the world ended.
I was miffed he did not have a job like I did.
that he sat around playing Nintendo all day.
But then he kissed me
and said I love you baby.
and I melted for him.
I got angry when he was drinking
with his friends.
in my apartment
when i got home from a hard day
and I threw him out.
I told him he was never going to be what
I needed he was too young.
He moved into his buddy's place.
and called nme ten times a night
Then I saw him again
it was in the local delli
I moved a can of caviar
and he was buying steaks
on the other side.
I took him home to my place
undressed as usual
he would not wear his ******.
He said I want you to have our baby.
I wish he had just ****** me.
All of a sudden
I saw his vulnerability
his youth his inexperience.
I knew it was a trap for him.
A trap I could not set.
so I opened the cage
the door left wide open.
and he flew out into
the wild rarified air
above the mountains.

a year later

The night was cold
snowfall had covered the old tired
grey streets of new York.
I was with a group of old friends.
Still single in the resteraunt
where we aways met.
he was walking by and
used his sweet warm breath
to melt the ice from the window.
he was looking at me.
I stopped mid sentence.
I thought I saw tears
in his eyes.
but they might have been in mine.
as the frost regained control
and he walked away
into the winter night.
Jude kyrie Oct 2015
I remember back then
We were so young.
I wrote love poems for you.
They were beautiful just like you.
And I wrote them only for you.

I waited at the old railway station.
For your train to arrive from the city.
The noisy trains and ***** station
Went unnoticed when you
Stepped to the platform Your
Bright yellow dress like a sun.

God! I loved you so much.
And it is cruel that I still do.
You threw yourself
into my arms then
and into my heart forever.

You want your freedom now
I do not beg of you to stay.
Blowing flames from the ashes
Of what was once us.

Leave me then
take all we have.
I do not want it anymore.
Make a final journey
to the old railway station.
Board the next train
to the city lights.

I shall remain here forever
alone in my chair.
Writing beautiful love poems.
Still all for you.
Poems that I know
you will never understand.
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
I remember back then
We were so young.
I wrote love poems for you.
They were beautiful just like you.
And I wrote them only for you.

I waited at the old railway station.
For your train to arrive from the city.
The noisy trains and ***** station
Went unnoticed when you
Stepped to the platform Your
Bright yellow dress like a sun.

God! I loved you so much.
And it is cruel that I still do.
You threw yourself
into my arms then
and into my heart forever.

You want your freedom now
I do not beg of you to stay.
Blowing flames from the ashes
Of what was once us.

Leave me then
take all we have.
I do not want it anymore.
Make a final journey
to the old railway station.
Board the next train
to the city lights.

I shall remain here forever alone.
Writing beautiful love poems.
Still all for you.
poems that I know
you will never understand.
Jude kyrie Mar 2016
Tranquility

sometimes the silence
of a cloud passing the moon
Allowing it's light to fall on you.
or
the sleeping breaths
of a newborn child
sending it's innocent dreams
to heaven
or
the comfort of sleeping
silently and peacefully
in a lovers arms?
as they keep vigil over you
or
the trill of the Nightingale
as it's melody coos
you to sleep through
an open bedroom window.

here it comes

silence
peace
gentleness
tranquility

sometimes
the old world
spins
much too quickly.
Jude kyrie Dec 2016
As begins the  summer's morn
Dewdrops drip from a rose's thorn.
cricket's chirp in silent glow
A linnets fluttering wings below.

A cedar cabin poor and bare
In simple presence standing there.
A lapping lake upon the shore
Calls for nature's  lilt once more

Tranquil peace falls like the rain
Easing my mind and soul again
The purple mantle of the dawn
Awakens another perfect morn.
Wistful Scene from my summer home by the lake in Ontario
Ahhhhhh
Jude
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
Above us the heaven sparkle
shooting stars beg for wishes.
I have none to give.
for my fingertips trace your form
smoothly like velvet
your skin
pulsating as I trace
my love poems
onto your sensual canvas.
Your familiar fragrance
my essence of choice
fills my head with dreams.
the costolations are smiling
for they have seen all lovers
from the beginning of time
yet in the beating heart
of this galaxy
they welcome us.
in the blueness of your eyes
I swim naked and free
my own heart full
my mind no longer alone
for I no longer know
where I end and you begin
Jude kyrie Aug 2018
I don't believe much about the afterlife, do you?
But it's real, I mean really.
How do I know
Well, I can tell you.

First it starts with the happy part of my life.
We got Married it was a beautiful June day.
Not a cloud in the purest blue sky.
We gave our vows
I had prepared mine.

I said
I was in college
I wasted my spare cash on a Motorcycle.
I needed wheels right?
Of course, I crashed it on a bend that I took way too fast.
She lifted up my head and looked into my eyes.
I thought I am dead she is an angel right.
But i was not dead and she was a woman
A beautiful woman but still earthbound
.
She said does it hurt are you in pain.?
I said agony, not pain
She kissed my lips
And she gave me a pack of fruit flavoured Lifesavers
Only the favourite food of my sweet tooth.
And here we are six years later with our son Ben.
Getting Married.
A thing she swore she would never do.

She said her piece
Thank you for not dying that day
For I am not sure I could have survived either
Because without you I don't exist.

The car crash was an accident that same  night
The rain that had hidden in the air we breath became a weapon of destruction
As it released the imprisoned water it held in magic within its structure.
The flooded road the  Dog walking across the country bypass
The sound of his head hitting the glass of the windshield.
The silence.


Eight years later

She had remarried
A second life
Far away from me
With my crutch of alcohol.
And distance.
She Blamed me of course.
Why did you not fasten his seatbelt?
He would have been fine.
I thought I did
But alcohol quieted the guilt

I drive myself crazy with guilt
But it doesn't help,
That's when the call came in.
I am a fancy high-end corporate lawyer now
Earning high six figures.

I had bought her out of the house
And couldn't sell it.
I was us when we were happy
When we were us.

The tenants had left it wrecked.
Where are all the good people?
I went over to the place
The inside was a mess broken glass
Windows smashed the place was a wreck.
But it had a fragrance of the happiness that once lived here.
I could taste it.
It was sweet.

Then I heard the noises upstairs in the attic
I pulled down the attic ladder and walked slowly around
Looking for the intruder.
Then I Saw him it was my dead son Ben.

He said hi Dad.
Wheres, Mom.
I could not believe my eyes and fell backwards
down the ladders and knocked myself out.
When I came around he was stood near me.
Dad where Mom
I said she's not here son.

Failing to mention her husband
and the two daughters he had from a previous marriage.
He said Bring her here Dad I miss her.

I called her
She did not answer me.
The man who killed her offspring I guessed.

So I drove over to her place and said you got to come to my house.
She came and saw Ben running through the house.
She thought it a sick trick.
And slugged me with the vicious right hook.
Calling me a sick *******.


After a week I told Ben I would get her to come
I went back to her place.
She said do you want seconds
I politely refused another punch.

She came anyway
And as she entered the door
Ben said Hi mom.
She wept in disbelief.
He said I pushed the seatbelt button.
It was me

We spent weeks with him.
I quit my job to be there
She spent way too much time with us.
But we can't let him go.
No way,
No way ever

One day I heard her scream
She said
I saw a woman here
In the chair in the corner.

I asked Ben
He said she's always here.

That's when she passed out with blood
running from her nose.
I rushed her to the hospital,


The doctor said you can see her now.
I put my arms around her and told her I always loved her.
And I gave her a lifesaver from the pack she had given me
So many years ago.

She kissed me and we were close again
No issue no sadness just close.
As we got home
Ben came to me
She is leaving with me. dad.
With the lady.
What lady I said
It's Grandma her mother
We are taking her over with us.

I cried as she left me.
I know she is the only woman in this wide world
That I will be this close too.

But it's OK
I also know in the passing years
Just a blink of an eye really.
We will all be together again.
Some things Maybe forever
Jude
Jude kyrie Sep 2015
I hate leaving home
It feels like the ship
will be drifting for a few days
until its captain returns.
My husband sits reassuring me
he will take his medicine on time
keep his doctor’s appointment.
take the dog to the vet
for her shots.
as I snap the lock on the door.
I am amazed how small my suitcase is
carrying all I will need
just for a few days.
And how large  
is the sense of responsibility
for running our life at home.
Then it occurs to me
The forecast ice storm
may or may not happen.
It is exactly like me
It has a life of its own
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
Truck Stops


*All my days the load is heavy
Far too hard to carry home.
along life's highways looking steady
Out of gas and all alone.
Got to find me a Truck
stop on this highway.
Rest this load and travel home,
take rest from the endless distance.
In the night a light is burning
In the night calling my name.
Give me warmth and comfort.
Stop the traveling all alone
I need a life with no more trucking
Not tired and weary to the bone.
I need her loving soft and gentle
Need a place to call my own.
Until then life's a line
of roadside truck stops
Neon signs shining bright
Just a place to park my burdens
cloudy coffee in the night
Jude kyrie Dec 2015
I am a unique color.
There's not one
like it anywhere in this world.
I suppose you would need
to meet me to see if it was
the exact hue you needed.
In a perfect world there is
someone out there who does.
I am looking for compatibility.
where my color compliments yours.
There must be an artist
who needs exactly my color
to complete their
perfect painting
better than pina coladas and a walk in the rain
lol
Jude
Jude kyrie Nov 2015
Sat in the window seat
of the olde English cottage.
The open bow window
providing natures salted
air conditioning from the sea.
Breaking waves below the cliffs.
the only noise in the starlit night.
I turned to see your face
the one that takes
my breath away and
Fills my heart
with hopes and dreams.
Your lips open slightly
the words
I love you
are on the tip of your tongue.
They have no need to be spoken.
Because I can feel your heart
beating with mine and I know it.
You found me and rosebud cottage.
I know one day your memory
may return
that you may have
a wife and children.
And the loss of you
will be too much
for me to bear.
So we sat there
with the sea below us
and the stars above us.
I whispered
I love you darling.
But for now for this moment
I was happy once again.
excerpt from a love story I am too lazy to write
Jude kyrie Aug 2015
We were seventeen or eighteen.
There were four or five of us.
I don't remember exactly.

I know two of them gave me
their dying messages.

I poked the wrinkled
letters into my fatigues.

The air raid came from a clear sky.
I was more dead than alive.
My eardrums burst from the blast.
My leg broken
My spirit broken.
my young days
now lay dead.

I know two of them gave me
their dying messages.

In Ohio I gave the letter
to a lady his grandmother.
She asked how he died.
Tears in her lined face.

I murmured
"We were seventeen or eighteen.
There were four or five of us
I don't remember exactly."

In West Virginia
A beautiful young woman
answered the door
she was holding a baby.
Her eyes welled with tears
as she read the bloodstained note.
She asked if it was quick.

I whispered
"We were seventeen or eighteen.
There were four or five of us
I don't remember exactly."
Jude kyrie Jan 2016
Tyger, tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tyger, tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
Jude kyrie May 2016
she was so angry
I have never seen her
this mad before.
She raised her voice
Almost shouting.
She said.
We have been dating
Over three years.
My clock is ticking
I want a home and a family.
Either marry me now.
Or you go your way
And I will go mine.
I took a deep breath
And gave it back to her.
Well if that's the way
you want it.
You go your way
And I will go your way too.
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