With the sunlight filtering in,
Yellow on yellow walls,
Shining on the green bedspread,
And the various shades of pink,
It all seems too happy.

You woke up smiling,
Went to the kitchen to make a coffee
Whistling a show tune,
In harmony with the birds singing outside,
Where is this place?

Feeling so little, without a care,
As though it’s in a dream,
Violence is extinct,
In a world bathing in happiness,
How would you survive?

I keep seeing the image of a giant
looking down at the world
fearful to walk for crushing those
he can barely see

It comes to me
as I walk to class during the week

It comes to me
as I talk to friends on the weekend

It comes to me
as I think of anything and everything,
and for the sake of god,
I cannot shake it

It comes to me
as a whisper
nibbling at my ear
then
a *****
that burst my eardrum
telling me to
write
Write!
WRITE!

write for the sake of all that is holy,
all that you value, all that is good,
of the giant that you see in yourself,
and the ants you in see in others.

and I cower to its yelling at first,
but then I grow firmer, taller, bolder,
rising bit by bit to face the monster
living in the back of my mind

by the time I stop my growth
I am the size of sky scraper

Everest looking cowardly below
and my beast looking a microbe
at my feet.

this is when I topple

I do not aggress my shadow
for I know it poses no threat

so I fall
down
down
down
my back moving
forward
my head not seeing
where
I am to
go

I fell down
happily
hoping
for the warm covers of my bed
and a good night’s rest
to greet me

poetry to me has always been subconscious

I don’t know what I want to say
but I say it anyways
and that removal of logic,
of inhabitation,
is
liberating
in a way
that only a few others
get the chance of
knowing

take this poem,
it was originally titled
“peace of mind”
after a comment
I got on my previous
works

but then I started thinking
about what
“peace
of
mind”
means

and
I
got
this

what
“peace of mind”
is
to me

and this poem is like that too

catharsis,
expulsion,
detox,

all those sickly feelings
or bubbling thoughts
that turn my gut
and twist my mind
boil over onto the page
like the *****
of a long night’s partying

and then I go share it with the world
wondering why they like the ****
of my heart

but

I never cease to continue
my bulimia of this excess
emotion

It never even crosses my
mind

it was a good night tonight

I had…

fun.

despite the stress,
despite the lack of time,
despite the lack of rest,
despite the things always going through my head,
despite the doubts,
despite the problems,
despite the complications,
despite the billions of things to do,

despite all that,
it came
through
and
it felt
good

so happy birthday,

to me.

from all those people
who care enough to say
so

and those are the people I spent the night with
and this night, I get the rare opportunity to go to sleep
with a smile

low

deep

soft
and
yet
cold

a
single
place
that
can
hold
only
o­ne
but
thousands
visit
each
and
every
day

the
sun
always
setting­

the
day
never
ending

the
place
we
all
know
that
we
all
hate
and
yet
love
in
a
way
that
keeps
us
from
letting
go

let
it
go.

this
too
shall
pass

let
it
go

this
too
sha­ll
pass

let
it
go

this
too
shall
pass

le­t
it
go

this
too
shall
pass

­let
it
go
this
too
shall
pass

let it go

thi­s too shall pass

in the night
I see
her

touching me
hugging me
kissing me

and then she asks
“do you love
me?”

and in the night
I have the confidence
to say yes
as I reach down
with a smile
for another
kiss

but then as our lips touch
the dream breaks
and I am left dazed
in the dark
of my
bed room

I look over at the pillow
I clutch between my arms
and sigh

I close my eyes again
hoping for the dream
to return

ah yes,
the crush

that festering,
infected,
growth
on your heart
that,

right now,

seems small
and
innocent
and
peaceful

but give it time

it will grow

increasing in size
and power until
you can’t deny it;
like genghis khan
knocking on the door
of those pompous,
Abbasid emperors
of a thousand years
ago

then you’ve lost
you can’t fight it
you don’t even want too
you just want to love,
to hug,
to caress,
to kiss,

her.

and then it all comes crashing down with a simple

no

but you know
what they
say:

“it’s only a crush”

and boy
how right they
are