AN EASTER COWBOY


i am the cowboy, a easter cowboy

having fun and enjoying one self

drinking beer and shoot eggs out of guns

and the people that he shoots

are left with egg all over their faces

as they struggle ti the shoe laces, from the 3 legged races

i am a cowboy an easter cowboy, oh yeseree

as we party on, dropping champagne all over each other

fun for the sisters and the brothers

as they ride to the resurrection,

and easter is the time to celebrate yeah mate ****** yeah

cowboys are chasing us and shooting eggs all over us

we’ll better make the easter cowboy say

bring on the easter eggs and celebrate

with a nice cold beer or coca cola, man

i am a cool man, and i am the easter cowboy

and i gave up my life to live with you

easter is about giving up your life for everyone, dudes

party on dudes, i am a cool dude after all

i am a easter cowboy, oh yeseree

bang bang your dead, shoot the chocolate bunny off the easter cowboys head

OH SPLAT

easter is candy easter is candy

kids buying candy at the local shop

easter is a time for families to gather round

and celebrate the resurrection yeah

easter is great, easter is cool

daddy puts all the easter eggs out in the yard

while us kids went to boring church

yeah the resurrection rocks

we need a parade here in canberra

because easter here is very dull

easter should be the time to party

cause it shows we die and come back to life

easter is cool and totally radical dude

easter brings life in children’s eyes, when they see the chocolate

and it brings love to mummy’s eyes when she found out when you die you come back

and easter explains life, easter explains life, easter explains life in so many ways

and all the street children who haven’t got a home

because right wing governments don’t give a ****

easter should bring these children peace and persuade tony abbott to care for them

it’s hard as a street person, to like our holidays, it’s hard for them at all

because big rich people saying, I WANT MONEY I WANT MONEY

that is not what easter is about,

it’s about the resurrection of jesus christ

and explains the death cycle

when you die, you come back to life again as someone else

to start another life to live

easter is the time of year, to have fun, and munch chocolate

HAPPY EASTER DUDES

It is Easter 2020 a hard time indeed
No Easter sports unless you play sports on the PlayStation yeah
There are no fun events for the kiddies
Just stick to social media
But you could there is a lot on
There is no need to panic
Easter Easter Easter on social media in our homes
No going out to clubs for dinner
Or puns for drunken parties
It is hard if you can’t talk on the street
But that means you shouldn’t be rude
Because Jesus wouldn’t want that
Easter Easter Easter on social media
In our homes
Partying on your couch
Doing art and drinking grog
And saying party ****** party
But Easter tells you of the death and reincarnation of our very lord Jesus
In 2 days well nobody reincarnates that quick but Jesus is important
He helped a lot of people
And helped a lot of souls
Is it about the Easter bunny
Giving eggs and bunnies to
All the cool children who love Easter
Easter Easter Jesus is alive
Easter Easter bunny for the kids
Easter Easter have fun in life oh yeah
Easter Easter yes it is a great holiday
But the coronavirus is making people
A pack of fucken clowns
I hope Easter is a happy one
I hope Easter is great for all
I hope Easter is a time to have fish on Good Friday but no sports no sports
Well let’s party at Easter, dudes

easter is time is coming soon hooray hooray

you see the easter bunny is giving out the eggs hooray oh yeah dudes, come on

you see the easter bunny is on his way

to give us all treat ya say

yeah mate yeah dude, i love the easter bunny oh yeseree

someone asked me to a tweet a thin hooray hooray

i said, come on let’s party now, it’s easter hooray hooray

you see the easter bunny is coming soon

i saw a man smoke a big wide balloon

ya see, the world of buddha said computers are a place to be

and easter hot cross buns are really partying oh yeah oh yeah

we say hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny, the easter bunny

hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool

hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny the easter bunny

hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool

i got a little bunny, as he crawls through the bushes yeah

ya see he is the cutest thing around this world

the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail

you see when i go to grandmas house, we look at the flowers there

but the big bad woof, scared us all, it was up to the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail

and the easter bunny is cool

Easter party on Saturn


Hi dudes, Briano Alliano at the Saturn club rings and today we have
A few Easter numbers for the cosmic
Sleepers and dead from earth
The first song is Easter is a festival for all

You see we have clowns and bunnies and chickens and
A big Easter egg to crack
You see as we crack it
The chocolate goes everywhere
And the smarties come right out
Saying party over Easter
Party over Easter it's ever do fun
To party over Easter
The Easter bunny, is coming a running over to the Easter party now
So you dudes up here can share Easter till the kind folk find a way
To contact you, so we can party all night
And now here is our next Easter song
Ok it's Easter and you know it celebrate
It's Easter and you know it celebrate
You see Easter is a time to celebrate
With hot cross buns and eggs with colour
It's Easter and you know it
Celebrate
You see it's Easter and you know it
We'll party on
It's Easter and you know it
We'll party on
You see the fabulous Easter bunny , man
Brings the Easter eggs to celebrate
With his clan
It's Easter and you know it
We 'll party on
And now, dudes here is our next song called here comes Peter cottontail
Here comes Peter cottontail
Running down the bunny trail
Picking up the eggs from everywhere
You see he has a powder puff tail
And he enjoys eating snails
From the garden of the queen of hearts every single day
Here comes Peter cotton tail
Up and down the bunny trail
Yeah this is the best Easter that we ever had
Hopping down the Easter trail dropping eggs in each basket oh yeah
Peter Peter little baby Peter
Mighty Peter cottontail skips
Down the trail saying happy Easter
Happy Easter.to us all

And now here is our next Easter song Easter is living living is loving
And a loving family sharing a meal

Celebration a time to party With coloured eggs and chocolate bunnies and a hot cross bin to share
Over a cup of coffee or a dessert for a lovely meal down the club with people you know and love
And then we celebrate a day
For the families who had a rabbit in their house last night or the day
Jesus rose from the dead
Out of his bed, it felt like more of a sleep than death but the bible stayed it as death but Jesus reincarnated on Easter into a few of the farms animals and some people at the dinner table agree with that and some don't agree and it starts an
Easter religion feud ending with
A big happy Easter happy Easter
Happy Easter. And a happy Easter
To all and to all a great night
Then grandmother tells out to the kiddies I think I saw the Easter bunny leave out house this morning
And then asked did he leave you kids anything and then suddenly the
Dinner table had Easter eggs all over it but noone cared for it was Easter dudes happy happy happy hsppy Easter a time to celebrate
And it is a happy Easter from me as well
Happy Easter
And my encore is Easter eggs are tasty
You see we go to the shopping centre and we celebrate oh yeah
The Easter party is for young and old
Yeah this sounds so rad
The eggs are coloured in yellow and blue oh yeah oh yeah
The Easter eggs are tasty


Sent from my iPhone

oh easter time, the eggs are beautifully painted

these are the prettiest eggs that you’ve ever seen

you see some eggs are blue, and others are red and purple

and there is a sweet yolk sitting inside it

at easter time, everyone gets up

and puts on a easter hunt for us all

drink a beautiful caramel sundae with a chocolate egg inside

it’s a ripper, oh what a nice taste it was

i try a piece and, man i enjoy it

everywhere around this lovely easter palace

you see some call for beer and others call for wine

i call for easter eggs as my only solace

i love easter eggs, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh i love easter eggs oh oh oh oh oh oh

i love a nice can of coke to wash down the flavour

you see a reign of hope, on this weary chocolate fountain

and we are building chocolate covered mountains

bring out the cherry cheer, and bring out the nice cold beer

to have with a big chocolate bunny all so sweet

i love easter time, it brings the family together

in any weather, or a penny farthing rides with a million eggs  will say

HAPPY EASTER DUDES, and enjoy your chocolate egg surprise

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB at easter


today it’s good friday and bob delahunty was going to church to have a

hot cross bun feast, and a hungry poor buddhist was going into the church

and asked bob, why do the christians like to eat over easter, what is it all about

and bob said, it’s a time where families, forget about their differences and share

a big celebration, with hot cross buns today after their service and then on easter

they will host family get togethers, where the kids are forced to hunt for eggs

that the parents hid in the garden, it is a very good day, and the buddhist man said

why can’t christians be nice to each other every day, like us buddhists ands bob said,

well, i guess your right, but life hands us problems to fix, like divorce and family quarrels

and battles that can’t be resolved, you see we are always away from loved ones and easter

is a way to keep updated on where our loved ones are, and then the buddhist asked bob

why can’t they scype every night and then bob said, buddy, no person really wants to do that,

actually, it is great to give families fun at easter, like sending kids on easter hunts, how radical dude

and have great hot cross bun morning teas, where we all can feast, yeah, if we did these things every day

we would get so fat, and kids will be so greedy, and we need every city in the land to pop

open the champagne corks, saying HAPPY EASTER DUDES, AND TO ALL A HAPPY FEASTING

you see easter if you add an f, could mean, the annual feaster, but we took the f away to make you feel great

and then the buddhist said, ok but what if you were fasting in a remote country and you had to knock

back the hot cross buns and easter eggs and bob said ok, yeah, if your fasting you must say no, i am on a diet

and the buddhist said, what if you went to a nightclub and got heavily ******, from vodkas and rums etc etc

and get too drunk on easter saturday, are you still expected to roll up to family get togethers on easter sunday

and bob said yes, then the buddhist said, how do you cope, HOW THE **** DO YOU COPE

this is how, you sing

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

especially round easter time where drinking may send you back and forwards to the sink spewing

and the buddhist asked bob one thing, before he went to tiabet, he asked, is there really such thing as a devil

because every night i drink a whole bottle of wine by myself and bob said, well if the devil was grog i think

i am the devil, cause, grog is my cup of tea

and the buddhist went home and bob left saying this one word, misbehave, everyone who drinks grog misbehaves

and there is nothing wrong with that, bob said happy easter and went back to the devil’s hideout and the buddhist blessed him

saying, the devil, there is no such thing

Rod slobs his food while
Tom says come on and eat nicely squirt and pay attention to me when I tell you that you are a fucken slob, we have to get you to fucken eat nicely
And as rod was eating his burped and did disgusting things like stick his tongue out
With food all over it but then Tom said eat nicely you fucken squirt because you are not a young person you are a slob
So if you don’t eat nicely you will lose the adult code and rod said I don’t want to be in no adult code
I don’t want to a part of a model for society
I just want to eat and drink like a slob and Tom said no, you must eat nicely because if you do
I will take you to a cool concert but you must eat nicely for me to do that and rod said there is always something with you, you can’t just do something nice for me can you and Tom said
I am not ya daddy, rod and rod said all you care about is saying I am not ya daddy and that isn’t nice, I just like to be a slob I am still cool though and Tom said no you are getting teased every day untill you die and Tom said just eat nicely if you want me to take you anywhere don’t break the young dude code and rod said why do you have a stupid young dude code because can’t you understand that I can be cool

Eat eat eat that Easter egg
Eat that egg cause it is good for your leg
Eat it up from top to bottom
Eat eat eat that Easter egg
Everybody is happy
Everybody is glad to be ALIVE
In this great big world
Don’t forget to have fun
Playing with your olds and kids and pets yeah have fun
Eat eat eat that hot cross bun
Eat eat eat that hot cross bun
Don’t eat too much
Or you will get too fat
Just eat a little to have such fun
Come on Easter bunny come now
Come on Easter bunny come now
Give us our fix of chocolate eggs
Come on Easter bunny come now
Jesus said something wonderful
Jesus said something true
Jesus died and came back to life again
To join us in heaven
And have some fun

once upon a time

when all of your parents weren't even born
there was a man named eddie spaghetti
who loved to travel the world
and he didn't have planes of helicopters
or even private jets, no, he only had
this red and white sailing yacht
which he called, swannie
and he loved swannie a lot
he would start sailing around
south america, and the west indies
where he wanted to start this journey
and then into central america where
he had a bit of fun, yeah, he had fun
then right up the coastline of san diego
and los angeles and san francisco
and yes, he was having a few hiccups
but he did it well by going past canada
and alaska sailing very well, enjoying
the ride, after that he sailed down the coastline
of russia, and then down toward japan and then
into china and screamed hello to some of the locals
then over to the phillipines and then down to malaysia
and after that he had a few of indias finest curries
you see, he hadn't crossed the equator yet, but it was coming
closer to him as he was heading over to africa and saudi arabia but he was very scared of the equator as he thinks time
will make him lose his boat, and we all know it won't, it is just a time zone, he will enter tomorrow, and he didn't want to become a tomorrow person, so he stopped in somalia and became one of them till he figured out how he was going to become a tomorrow person, so he parked his yacht in the dock and started to explore, he met a lot of nice people
and he said his name was GOD, which he knows is using the lords name in vane, and this poor kid named chico befriended him, believing he was the real god, but he was only 7, and his parents never believed that GOD, could be heard but not seen
and they said to chico, don't hang with him, he is a stranger to us, and you know we never talk to strangers, but chico who never wanted to upset his folks, decided to see GOD anyway
because he was not from these parts, but then the men from over the hill thought he was an intruder and took him prisoner,
chico said, this is GOD, and they didn't believe him either because GOD is a spiritual being of heaven, not a man and they said, let's chop his head off, but eddie said please believe me, i am not GOD, i am a sailor from south america
i wouldn't have come here if i wasn't scared to cross the equator toward the land of tomorrow and when he said where
he has been already, the king said, lead us to your boat, there
is no problem with entering tomorrow and as they all headed
toward the boat eddie was chucked into the ocean rock cave
after he handed them the key and this little red and white sailboat named swannie had disappeared into the land of tomorrow without eddie and being GOD, he went to chico
and said my name is eddie spaghetti and i lost my boat, i am too scared of entering tomorrow and suddenly his parents who were listening took him in and got very close, and eddie lived there for 3 years and on his fishing trip with chico and his dad, he saw swannie washed up on the shore and he said, tomorrowland is not for me and said goodbye to chico and his family and went back to south america the way he came and perished off the shore of japan, never to be seen again, and swannie, was rebuilt to sit on a beach in Japan and kids played on it, and they still played on it on this very day,
the end

My breath tastes like egg
A nice plate of scrambled eggs
It happens every time I burp
You see it’s rotten I don’t know
I want the egg to leave my breath
The yolk the white under the shell
And despite whether I eat eggs or not
I still get egg breath
Also I get egg breath when I feel to cut
My thumbs
Instead of blood I have the egg
I hardly eat it but it comes right out
Yes the thing is egg breath
I’ll boil an egg, hard if I like
I’ll poach or fry and egg to have an
Egg & bacon roll
I will scramble and egg like an egg stir-fry
Tomato mushroom and bacon too
I get egg breath it drives me crazy
I don’t like it
When you give me egg breath
I hate it it makes me wanna *****
Egg breath egg breath
It isn’t pleasant

i like ellen degenerous cause she is a cool party dude

she dances at the start of her show

and gives prizes especially for the poor

she introduces a lot of young performers

giving them their first big break

her show is entertaining oh yeah it is

ellen is a lesbian, but who cares, she is entertaining

i am not a homophobe, i believe in watching shows

instead of judging opeople on these shows

ellen degenerous is a cool dudette

her sow is packed with entertainment

and she dances like nothing else

she gives away a lot of prizes

yeah she is rad she is rad

she helps the poor

she shelps the young

if anyone is cool, it’s because of her

if i had a show on TV, it’ll be just like hers

ellen degenerous for PM, of coolville

You see it is hard when you
do something wrong and suddenly nobody wants you to help people nobody wants you to be nice to people either
You see lately on home and away John wanted to help the burns unit after he started the recent bush fires and I grabbed a kid and I teased a little girl and I arranged a disco where nobody turned up well a few people were there but for me
It was hard and I started getting crazy and I really wanted to reform myself well I wasn't really reformed but I felt everyone was out to get me
Well grabbing a kid and teasing a little girl is bad but really I was unmedicated, or on medication that wasn't right for me
But I started to hear voices of people teasing me every time
I look like a kid
I wanted to be there for the kids but with my past they don't accept me into this community
Like anything I do isn't good enough, I was really upset and I felt so bad but I still wanted to arrange events or be apart of events to help people
I went to do the BBQ for the magpies  and I joined the kanga cup where it only lasted 2 years
Because I wasn't good at it
I was great at the masters games where I was helping get the glass from the ground but I helped in other areas but still the kids were teasing me and my mind was playing tricks on me when I worked at the hockey I felt the world was out to get me, and from that moment I said I want out of this helping life and I stuck with playing Santa Claus where a girl said I was fake and the BBQ was the best place for me but as I got the new kippax oval gig
People started treating me like a piece of meat but I like doing the BBQ at the footy but then I started to lose weight and I was working and I was having fun because people were nice to me and I was running everywhere and joined the Mother's Day classic to raise money for breast cancer
I went to Adelaide twice and I went to the carols in the domain
And I partied at the Merimbula
And then I got a new job and I met them on the road and I went to the psych ward again and I felt awful and then I went to the baseball in Sydney and dad died and I joined the badslamnobiscuit poetry slam
Where I became very popular and I was talking to every university student there it was fun I went to my second theatrical play and all the Coke I drank with that I became fat and I watched YouTube family vlogs and drinking coke and eating chips and chocolate and strawberry milk and popcorn and then I did some thinking and now I am doing three art groups as well as going to holistic health group to try and lose my junk food spare tyre and because of my past home and away lately has been very emotional what with Brodie and John I wasn't on drugs but I was angry and John being hated by the people of summer bay and he wanted to prove himself just like me
The only helping I do is give money to homeless people which I can't all the time but sometimes I can and I give money to beyond blue mental health cause my name is Brian Allan and i have schitzophrenia
Even neighbours catches my emotions with toadie and Sonya
And despite all the times I fought dad I really want to say
I do miss his loving life ways
And I do love life mate

The fires are burning
Burning and burning
The fires are burning
In NSW today
It is sad to see the damage it is causing
And the people who are losing their homes
I am keeping an eye out
Hoping it won’t hit Canberra
But who knows what the evil spirits
Have planned in the spreading of the flames
The fires are really letting out the smoke
Making people wear masks
To make themselves breathe
Come on heavens bring on the rain
And send these evil spirits who caused it straight back to hell
Come on Buddha and god and Mohammad bring on the rain
To take any signs of hell here on earth
The fires are spreading to kangaroo island and making people worried
What about the poor seals and animals who live there oh yeah
Come on rain destroy those evil spirits
And put out the wild bush fires
That they caused
It is very sad oh yeah so sad
Sport is being played and are asking for donations to help with relief
Yes they need it, I hope rain comes soon
Come on religious leaders
Try and stop these evil spirits
Who are causing the fires
And send them back to hell

Yeah man enjoy yourself
Is what Patrick said to me
He meant don’t worry about
What people think or say about you
Just enjoy yourself oh yeah
I do enjoy myself
Watching vlogs watching footy
Doing art
Making everyone happy, man
I want to enjoy myself oh yeah
Yeah man enjoy yourself
And be in the party mood
You need to enjoy yourself
Who cares what people think
Going to a outdoor festival concert
Dancing to the music oh yeah
Going to a New Year’s Eve party
And dance the dance floor gone
Going to the Tamworth country music festival or watching it at home on YouTube
Either way you still can enjoy yourself
Party on dudes get down
I know we are in tough times but
You can still enjoy yourself oh yeah
Even if this virus is wiping out the world think of the luck you have
Stay the **** at home
And party all flaming night
Listening to Sam and Sam
Travis Collins and concerts that were uploaded oh yeah
The best thing to do is enjoy yourself
And have a lot of fun
Don’t worry about the problems of the past
Just keep happy in a positive way
Everyone is enjoying themselves
On social media and so am I
Yeah man enjoy yourself have a lot of fun
Party party party
Get down and get off ya ***

Let me
Entertain you
And I wanna make you smile
And I know you are not like
My old mate mr Lyle
I wanna entertain you
I want to take you somewhere
That you really wanna go
Drinking and eating
Food that will make you fat
Let me
Entertain you
Let me take you out
To our bumper party
That everyone will like
It’ll have drinks and plenty
Of great food
It has to be good for you
Take me out to your bumper party
And celebrate what you do
Let me entertain you
When I go to the Easter parade Easter Monday
Yes I will have a lot of fun
Nothing unhealthy please
Like chocolate and flavoured milk
Sip a nice refreshing water
I know you ought to
Just be entertained the way you want

Everett street, Wooveburra


One day in the Mython town of Wooveburra, there was a working class street in the suburb of Kensworth, called Everett Street, where their lived former Mython prime minister, Jack Norridge, who was the most right wing politian around, and he only is living in the street because his rich wife took her and his money to make a better life for herself and her children in Sydney Australia and Jack was left penniless and had to apply for the age pension, and mind you he had nothing in common with any of the folk anywhere on this street, you see in one house is a family who can barely feed themselves nevertheless the luxuries they give to their kids, like paying for school camps, and Jack told them, on his day he had his second job at her and her husbands age, and yes, they tore strips of him, but them, they were doing better, which suited them fine, and there were no way they will help him through what he's going through, and in another house is Fred Gordon who was the librarian, and when he came face to face with Jack, and bare in mind when Jack was prime minister, he needed to fund his new freeway, so he nearly had the library shut, and now he's got nothing, he was in no way showing any sympathy for the man,,telling him endlessly, things like welcome to my world ****, and your not so big now, Jacky, you will be killed within 3 months, mate.
There was a young couple, what about 16 and 17 who have 2 kids and when he walked passed,,the young couple always wanted to chat to him, and they chatted about why the **** did they cut their grandmas pension, she had to stop giving us gifts, and then they called Jack a two faced slimey old cow, and Jack said, sometimes we have to cut back, then he said have a look at me, and then the couple said to him, your problems are ******* self-inflicted, our problems are just us finding a mojo that you ***** won't let us have, and then Jack was getting very nervous, and went into the pub and when he got in, it looked good, and people Said hello and when Jack asked for gin and tonic,everyone looked at him, and also one ,man said to Jack, hey are you former prime minister Jack Nortodge, and when he said yes, he laughed and he laughed at him and then punched him square on the gut,
And Jack said, I will get my lawyer onto you all partiers, in my day we all did an honest days work, none of this few drinker happy hours like you guys get, and then one drinker said, well in your day when everyone did a honest days work, does that make you different to the world, cause you haven't done an honest days work ever, so ******* right wing fascioust, and Jack left to go home seeing people throwing thier fists at him, as well as sticking their fingers at him, and then Jack said, I am going nowhere, so get used to me Everett Street, I am here to stay, and every resident yelled out, but our towns heritage won't be, you'll turn this street into Las Vegas, if we give you half the ****** chance, and then Jack went inside and all the residents went to the pub and tell of all things that Jack has done wrong for the country of Myth, and everyone hated him with a passion,,and that's what happened on Everett street this week, I hope you enjoyed it.


Sent from my iPhone

I exercised today and I learnt some new exercises and I learnt I have to move more
You see I will never do anything I want to do in this life
But in hindsight I want to feel pretty fit
Walking is great and I stopped walking recently because my voices were driving me crazy
But if I can take up walking again I will feel really good about myself
The trainer said I should go to skyfire but I ain't really into that because there are so many people
Mind you I did like it for a few years and I remember one year the bus broke down in the rain
******* off some of the teenagers on the bus
You see when I walk I don't feel fit I sweat but I eat the wrong things after it
But I shouldn't eat bad foods
And walking will make my next life bloom

THE FALSE ALARM, THERE WAS A PROBLEM, BUT UNEXPLAINED



YOU SEE, THERE WAS A PROBLEM, WITH THE SPACE STATION

YOU SEE THE TERROSISTS DID GET ABOARD THEIR SHIP

AND FORCE A SMALL PROBLEM, AND THEN TOOK ME AND PAUL HOSTAGE

NO THERE WAS A PROBLEM, AND YES, THE END OF THE WORLD COULD BE NEAR

BUT NOBODY CAN E4XPLAIN THIS, CAUSE IT IS PARANORMAL

NOTHIN MORE NOTHING LESS, PLUS THAT MENTALLY ILL MAN

WHO WAS KILLED FOR ILLEGAL CAMPING, ALSO YELLED THESE CURSE WORDS

YOU FUCKEN ****** ******* FUCKEN POLICE MEN

YOU SHOULD BE THE ONES UP HERE AND NOT ME

BUT YOU DON’T FUCKEN CARE FOR THE MENTALLY ILL, ONE LITTLE FUCKEN BIT

I WANT TO BRING MYSELF BACK AGAINST THE POWERS OF BUDDHA

AND **** THESE POLICEMEN, BUT THAT BREAKS THE RULES OF THE BUDDHA

AND THE TERRORISTS TOO BRIAN AND PAUL OFF TO THE SUN

TO STRAP THEM DOWN, TO NEVER LET THEM GO

PLUS THE TODLER KILLED BY THAT HOODLUM IN SYDNEY

SAYS THESE WORDS, AS HE IS MY UNCLE RAY

*******, WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TOO,

WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS, WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS

IT’S WRONG TO HASSLE THE LIVING, SO I WANT TO

BECOME A NEW LIFE CREATED BY CRONUS MY LAST ADULTS LIFE NEPHEW BRIAN

THE TERRORISTS ARE KEEPING BRIAN AND PAUL STRAPPED TO THE SUN

EARTH ARE SAFE FROM THESE TERRORISTS, BUT NOT IF YOUR CRONUS LIKE ME

UNCLE RAY JUMPED UP AND SAID, I WANNA BE FAMOUS, I WANT TO BE A FUTURE PRESIDENT

I WANT TO LOVE LIFE, AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

I WANT TO SAVE MY NEPHEW BRIAN FROM THE TERRORISTS

TO EXPLAIN, THE WORLD IS HARD, TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

WITHOUT ANY KNOWN QUALIFICATIONS,

BUT I CAN GET QUALIFICATIONS FROM BEING IN MENTAL HEALTH SHOWS

AND ONE DAY BE A FAMOUS PERSON

BUT WHAT THE NEWS SAID, THE SPACE STATION WAS A FALSE ALARM

NOTHING WAS WRONG, WELL, NOTHING WAS WRONG THAT COULD BE EXPLAINED

FOR EARTHLIKE ACTIVITY THAT IS

NO IT WAS SOMETHING, BUT IT WAS UNEXPLAINED

BRIAN AND PAUL, FIND THEMSELVES STRAPPED TO THE SUN

TO GIVE INTERNET BRIAN ALLAN AND JACK VIDGEON A MUCH BETTER LIFE

AND FIND A WAY TO GET AWAY FROM THEIR UNEXPLAINED KIDNAPPINGS

I am a family person
I like sports like footy and cricket
I will watch them with mates if I can
I am a family person
I watch shows and movies
On my streaming services
I am a family person
I enjoy the flowers outside my door
I am a family person
I see a woman and I want to get to know her dear but I am too shy
But I am still a family person
Loving life is what I do for fun
I am a family person
I like eat chocolate and a cream bun
I am a family person
I don’t let anyone fucken push me around
I am a family person
The itch in my leg just the alien attacking my leg
I am a family person
I can’t wait for baseball soccer and basketball
I am a family person
I have an enormous collection of teddies
Which I love
I am a family person
I don’t steal people to have a play with them because I am nice
I am a family person
I like to do Matthew Broderick’s thing
By telling someone I am the only Christmas man here
I am a family person
I love to say how’s it going mate
To the people in the club
I am I am I am a family person
I love family life
I am a family person
I like singing songs on YouTube
Like hey good looking
And me and Julio down by the schoolyard
Bad bad Leroy brown
Which I made up a song called big bad Brian Allan
I am a family person
I love home and away and neighbours
Especially Jason Donovan with his first hit
Great to dance to
I am a family person
DUDES

Ommmmmmmmm
Bert Newton finishes at 83
Ommmmmmmmm
He has been on a lot of TV
Ommmmmmmmm
Like Safeway new faces
Which is the old version of Australia’s got talent etc
Ommmmmmmmm
He hosted FORD SUPERQUIZ with his wife
Ommmmmmmmm
He had his own talk shows like the Bert Newton show and good morning Australia
Ommmmmmmmm
He now will be joining his former co star don lane when he helped don put on his show
Ommmmmmmmm
He went on 3XY radio to do a Saturday morning kids radio show
Ommmmmmmmm
In 1961 Bert Newton and graham Kennedy did a 2 hour morning on 3 AK
Ommmmmmmmm
Now he is reunited with Kennedy in the cosmos
Ommmmmmmmm
He won a few gold Logies as well as hosting the Logies
Ommmmmmmmm
And I remember when the Newton family joined forces to perform at the Sidney Meyer music bowl for the Christmas carols
Ommmmmmmmm
Chow Bert Newton
And I hope your next life has many interesting stories to come out of it
Like this one
Ommmmmmmmm
R I P Bert Newton chow

Ommmmmmmm
Rest In Peace miles Blackburn
Ommmmmmmm
You were a blessing to have around
Ommmmmmmm
I liked being your bowling buddy
Ommmmmmmm
We used to get good scores together
Ommmmmmmm
I remember him saying to me
GO THE SWANS
When Adams Goodes was playing
And when they were actually good
Ommmmmmmm
You will be sadly missed miles Blackburn
Ommmmmmmm
I remember when I was watching my Itouch in bed and he hated it
Cause he wanted to sleep
I thought you were hating me
Ommmmmmmm
But I know now you were a great friend to have around
Ommmmmmmm
Please moles Blackburn
Think of us
As you enter your next life
I liked you mikes Blackburn
And I as Cronus will help give
You a great family for your next life
Ommmmmmmm
Ommmmmmmm
Ommmmmmmm
Farewell miles Blackburn
Have a good future life
And be blessed
R I P

Kenny Rogers was a heroe
Heroe oh yeah mate
He was a heroe oh yeah mate yeah
But he did some great things
You see Kenny Rogers is a man
Who was really really good
He sang the gambler very well
Coward of the county
And a duet with Dolly Parton
Called islands in the stream
He was great and he loved life
He was really cool
He performed with bobby Doyle
And had groups like the new Christy minstrels and first edition where he had a song just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in which got to number 5 on the billboard charts and then he got more control of first edition and made a song in 1969 which was called
Ruby, don’t take your love to town
He was an actor as well as a singer
He acted in the gambler and six pack where he played a race car driver
he was radically awesome dude he had a restaurant chain called Kenny Rogers roasters with Kentucky fried chicken ceo John Y Brown he couldn’t pick his chicken out on a taste test on the Conan O’Brien show and that would be weird the chicken was shown on Seinfeld on the chicken roasted show
It also went bankrupt on an episode of fresh of the boat called let me go bro, actor was Jeff pomerantz
Mad tv and ******* also talked about his restaurant what a great chicken shop
He was on Reno 911 in 2004
And in 2012 he released a book titled
Luck or something like it, explaining his ups and downs in the music industry
Ommmmmmmm the great Kenny Rogers passed away
Ommmmmmmm send him to his next life with a great message for all
Ommmmmmmm you have to no where to hold em
Ommmmmmmm no where to walk away or know where the to run
Ommmmmmmm islands in the stream that is what we are
Ommmmmmmm the great Kenny Rogers was a Heroe
Like I said at the start
Ommmmmmmm singer actor chicken franchise
Ommmmmmmm he was a great man

I was feeling fat and totally ugly
And I need a drug to knock me out
Get rid of my desire to eat a lot
And that a drug is ozempic
At first it didn’t do much
But that is because I have always
Been an overeater
And it took a long time
To get a hang of this not eating thing
You see I liked chocolate Coca-Cola
And doughnuts and chocolate chip muffins and juices and lemonade
As well as egg and bacon rolls and hamburgers too and fatty toasted sandwiches as well as cheesecake and vanilla slices and I could feel the injection of ozempic to stop this whole mess
I will get rid of it all now, stop eating those morning yoghurts that make me bloat
I feel like eating it but it won’t be good for me, I wanted to be fat because my legs were weeping, it’s gone and hopefully o can get rid of the gut

Fighting over toilet paper
Viral fights over toilet paper
How fucken stupid mate
To fight over toilet paper
People buy too much toilet paper
Other people getting upset over toilet paper
Totally stupid fighting over toilet paper
These people need medication oh yeah
There are ways to stop it
Just give one over
Because one won’t harm you
**** ****** no
Fighting over toilet paper
Fighting over toilet paper
Totally ******* don’t you think dude
To fight over toilet paper
Fighting over toilet paper
Fighting over toilet paper
Stupid stupid really stupid people
To think about ohhhhhhh
Fighting over toilet paper
They still make the toilet paper
People just are getting greedy
And that is what causes the fights
And that is shocking
To fight over toilet paper
Fighting over toilet paper
Really really stupid yeah
Fighting over toilet paper
Good god what a fool
Is what my dad used to say
Because he would hate the stupid people who fight over toilet paper
Dumb and dumber
Good movie
Well it is starting to come true
With this whole fighting over toilet paper thing
So if you fight over toilet paper
You are a fool
Well, you are

Captured in the psych ward


Today Ron got out of bed and
Had cereal and toast and then went to the hdu because he found out that his usual hangout burnt down overnight
By a man who has a lot of violence in him, you see this man suffers from schitzophrenia and has these dillusions of Fire being the answer, you see when he burns something down, a voice he claims is gods but it is really
The delusions in his brain saying do it do it do it
Burn it down and collect the insurance and go overseas to travel and everything will be alright and Ron had a lot on his plate with momma rose two weeks after patty roes death
And then this strange man entered the psych ward saying
I don't belong here with no hopers and sick people and
Momma rose went over to him
And said what are you in for
And he said I torched a place down to collect the insurance
To travel around the world
And Ron came in and took the man aside and started to understand why he would do
Awful things to businesses and homes and first of all he said his name was Harry and then he said God wants me to do this, you see if I torch a place i
Can collect the insurance and go overseas and Ron said what Makes you think in your mind that anyone will give you insurance for that and Harry said God always helps the little guys just like me, you see mate
I am different from other people
And Ron said what makes you think that and Harry said you see everyone worries about not
Being able to have kids and me
I don't care because there is so much you have to do
1 look into which school to enrol
Your kids into
2 buy food so your kids don't starve
3 pick up and drop off at school
And sporting events
Ahhhhhhh
And momma rose came over
And said Harry, do you want to escape one day, I know where they keep the keys
Because I have people on the outside I want to **** or destroy
And Ron said momma rose can you please leave me and Harry alone and momma rose walked away saying **** your *******
******* and Ron decided that
Harry should be trailed on chlosophine because there are a lot of violent thoughts flying around his head and Harry said
My mate Patrick doesn't want to help me, so he planted his voice into my head saying we don't like you anymore and Ron said we need you to understand the nature of your actions and Harry said I know what I did was right for me and Ron said you need chlosophine right now
And later that day they had  dinner and then Ron bought out the medications and momma rose said I know I killed George Washington but why should I stay here I am better now
When I was a kid we went to hospital to have operations and
Not stuck here watching tv
And Harry said shut up ****
And Ron clocked off and bought pizza and retired to the couch while momma rose played nice mother to Harry
Explaining every show making Harry very mad but he just let
Momma rose talk and that was the first day of Harry


Sent from my iPhone

THOSE WERE GREAT FIREWORKS HOORAH
YEAH, PRETTY RADICAL FIREWORKS HOORAH
THE FIREWORKS ARE ****** RAD
AS THEY ARE SHINING BRIGHTLY WITH THE GHOST OF DAD
MY COSMIC ENERGY HAS IMPROVED
SINCE I STARTED WITH THESE EMAILS
I SHULD BE THE THE 75 LIKE TO THIS VIDEO, HOORAH
YEAH, FIREWORKS ARE A GREAT WAY TO PARTY, HOORAH
I AM THE COOL PERSON, WHO SEES DADDY'S GHOST
IN A GIANT PUFF OF SMOKE
I THINK HEAVY METAL SHOULD JOIN THE FIREWORKS
TO ADD FOR A VERY SPECIAL EFFECT
PRETTY MUCH LIKE SKYFIRE IN MARCH IN CANBERRA
FIREWORKS, THEY LIGHT UP THE SKY, OH YEAH
FIREWORKS, PRETTY **** RAD, HOW COOL
I LIKE JUDAS PRIEST, AND ACCA DACCA TOO
BUT AS EACH FIREWORK SHINES, DUDES
IT LIGHTS THE SKY FOR YOU
HAPPY NEW YEAR, DUDES

christmas power



i am talking about greame thorne’s only TV performance, you see it was show

called christmas power at elizabeth bay and it was hosted by john bradley, you see john brought

10 young performers in to sing christmas carols to celebrate the reason for this day

and it was set out to be an annual TV event every christmas event, but it never made

it to the 2nd year, so here we go

john’  welcome to christmas power, a show to celebrate the magic of christmas and

i will bring in 10 performers to each sing their favourite christmas carols

first up here is kenny butler aged 11 singing silver bells

he sang it well and said at the end, how about that

john’  thanks kenny and let’s see how mrs santa claus is going, here is therse berlin with mrs santa claus

and therese sang that song with absolute grace and beauty and then john introduced, greame thorne (me)

and tim mcgrath, and they will sing silent night, and they blew away the crowd so beautifully and then

after that, the next singer was bert somers with i am sending a letter to santa claus, and every note was

played so great, and then john bradley sang jingle bells and rudolph the red nosed reindeer as santa came

out to say hello to everyone on tv australia’s first christmas show, and as santa left the stage, john brought

greg harrison out to sing hi ** silver lining and he sang that so great, he was asked by church groups to

do future shows and then john bradley brought daryl simmons comes on stage to sing away in a manger

and drove the crowd completely wild and got a standing ovation and then john bradley brought out harry stone

aged 12 and he sang we wish you a merry christmas and greame thorne(me) came out to sing good tidings we

bring to you and your king, and harry got audience participation as well as a standing ovation

john brought out the 8 th singer madelline rupert, aged 5, with white christmas, and yeah mate yeah

this was the greatest version ever, and maddeline was amazed with all the crowd really cheering her performance

and now john bradley brought out the 9th singer 10 year old jacob stone, brother of harry, and he sang

jolly old st nicholas, and everyone joined in singing and gave him a standing ovation, and then john

introduced molly ringwould to sing the christmas list, and this was a very moving performance and blew the

crowd away and at the end she got a standing ovation, and now, it was time to announce the christmas power award winner

and they rolled the drums, and therese berlin won the award, and they gave her a plaque and $500, and

this was the end of the first and last version of christmas power and there is no real proof of this show as the

tape was stolen and thrown out to sea, pretty much what happened to greame thorne (me), so there isn’t proof

but i remember this was an excellent previous life memory i have, and

flap flap flap. all day long yeah

yeah, we will flap flap flap ya see right through the nigh

ya see i feel like doing nothing but i want to do my art

ya see i feel like a little flap flap flap all day long

i saw this young disabled man who has problems with his folks

i get a bit sick of people complaining about their mums

yeah i know they can be controlling but it’s all out of love

and i say this, but i can look after myself

it doesn;t really matter if i have problems saving money

and i have problems with not using deodorant

but i do most of the time, because it gets rid of the bad smell

ya see i used to tie myself up and i looked like a hooligan or geek

i want that feeling to stop, because i look like a freak

ya see i hated being murdered by steven bradley in my last life

and i feel like s pheadaphile when i stare at my dads next life’s picture

these feelings are driving me crazy, i wish it’ll fucken stop

or i will get this fist and slam it right through your head

ya see i am crazy, and i am as crazy as hell

what i need to do, is just keep my beliefs like that under my hat

ya see i saw drawing north as they sang you’re the voice

we have the chance to turn the pages over

we write what we wanna write, gotta get much older

ya see i like doing youtube, and i know i am disabled

but i am a better artist and writer than the teasers will ever be

ya see i wish i was rich, so i can look after myself better

but i have athena helping to make sure my teeth feel better and don’t show any pain

ya see i hate people looking at me, as they are going to hit me,

like i hated being treated like a bin robber at ainslie village

just because they didn’t know i was a cleaner

and i hated being teased at work, because i was their hardest workers

but i never got really what i wanted, like i am doing right now

i hate people saying, your still a young dude, or your still like our mob
‘
i like being a young dude but i hate getting teased

i don’t like people who think i should stay with the loners

because you get more fun being in groups

i know next year i will be getting the NDIS and i am trying to think what i want out of life

because it is important to have carers and it’s important to get ya  house cleaned

ya see, i know i don’t work, but i am happy, i have done a lot this year, by doing my framing for my artworks

and art therapy would be a great choice for the NDIS as well, because that costs a lot

i am thinking about what i want from the NDIS very carefully, whatever i get i have forever

i prefer to remain positive about my life, even if i am not really getting what other artists get

but i have my art in exhibitions in a few places, and even if i have a high price, it just means i want a high price

if it doesn’t sell, i keep it for myself, if i sell it, i get the money, how cools that

ya see i want a lot out of life, and i want to help a lot of people

i will never hurt a baby, that’ll be ever so bad

and if i saw someone hurting a baby, i don’t know how to protect them

because some fathers and mothers are tough

if i touched their kid, they would yell blue ******

if they touched their kid, they feel great because they deserved it

it is enough to drive a good man like me, nuts

ya see as i said, i hate how paul robinson is treating steph

i would like to steph get her own back

she looks reformed, like me, never allowed to bury the past like me

i want the best out of life, and i want to live my life to the full

money money money is all so funny, in the rich mans world

Flip ya lid flip ya lid
Darling flip ya kid
Never wanted to flip ya lid
Ever in my life
You see it is mighty be hard to
Flip ya lid flip ya lid
Darling flip ya lid
It is mighty hard to flip ya lid
And blame it all on god
You see if I flip my lid
Like a marble
That is being flipped to
The other side of the room
Flip ya marble to the other
Side and feel happy about it
Flip ya lid flip ya lid
Darling flip ya lid
Never wanted to flip my lid
Ever in my life
Flip ya lid at Christmas
Flip ya lid at new years
Flip ya lid at Tamworth
Flip ya lid at Australia Day
Flip ya lid on Valentine’s Day
Just flip ya lid all over the place
Always filled with satin and lace
Just flip my lid, man

Hi everybody
This is Brian Allan
I am on Jupiter
And I will sing fly burgers
A poem I wrote when I was social
Which is being watched very carefully at present
Here it is
Fly burgers are good enough to eat
Fly burgers are such a tasty treat
Just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
Add some lettuce and tomato
And make sure you wash your hands
You see there is no footy on
Because of the coronavirus yeah
So the flies wouldn’t get caught
On the barbecue
No old man no young boy
Anymore in this world
The flies didn’t do it
But they are still disease carriers
So please wash your hands
Fly burgers are good enough to eat
Fly burgers are such a tasty treat
Just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
Add some lettuce and tomato
And make sure you wash your hands
No restaurants at the moment
So there will be no flies
Parking on the griller
The virus is turning people
From being nice to an old yeller
Don’t worry about the flies
Getting in your food
No restaurant isn’t open
No fly burgers
That is good
Fly burgers are good enough to eat
Fly burgers are such a tasty treat
Just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
Add lettuce and tomato
And please wash your hands
Now hopefully the virus will be over
Before the summer time
So friends can drop round sharing coke and beer and having a great time
At present there is no bbq man
Noticing a fly upon his back
So keep the swat amongst your friends
Don’t spread the virus to jack
Fly burgers are good enough to eat
Fly burgers are such a tasty treat
Just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
Add some lettuce and tomato
And please wash your hands
The hospital is busy this year
Despite nobody having fun
Flies are still spreading germs
Straight flat bang in you
More people dying from the coronavirus yeah
But flies are still spreading germs
Don’t eat fly burgers if you don’t want to die
Fly burgers don’t eat them you stupid fool
Fly burgers as long as you keep your distance swim in the pool
But if a fly lands on you
You will catch a germ
And maybe the virus will hit you
Like a little worm
But if a fly lands on you
You will catch a germ
And maybe and maybe
The virus will hit you hit you
Like. A. Little Worm
No good

Look at that beautiful baby
Sitting alone in his crib
Who knows what he’s thinking
Maybe partying up ahead
Like enjoying fairy bread
And doughnuts oh ****** yeah
Maybe might take up alcohol
When he becomes an adult
But for now he is a beautiful baby really cute is he
There could be many other things that your baby will really enjoy
He could be a real baseball star
Or even Auskick in the afl
Then he might be a bush walker
In a group of mates
Or even be a mascot for his favourite team but for now
Look at that beautiful baby
Really cute is he
You see he could be prime minister where his decisions count even if they are right wing
Well you can’t win them all
He might be a university professor to help give young people a go or he could be a primary school teacher to give the kids the right start
He might be a policeman
To catch all the bad guys
And send them right to prison
To make the streets safe
Hopefully he won’t be a person who is accused of ****
But for now he is a beautiful baby really cute is he

Fred Fred Fred
Mate yes he is Fred
You have to meet Fred
So go to bed little boy
Never winge and whine
Just go to bed little boy
Because Fred loves life
And enjoys it yeseree
Fred Fred Fred yes go to bed
Little boy
I know you ain’t tired
But you are a little kid
So go to bed go to bed little boy
Don’t copy Fred no don’t copy Fred
Fred Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
If you are a woman
Don’t choose Fred
Cause he is a ****** fucken *****
Who drinks too much *****
If you are a kid don’t choose Fred
Because he will do nasty things to you
Like hold you in his house
And say to you I want your blood
Because Fred Fred Fred
Is a man that can’t be trusted
So go to bed little boy
Don’t muck with Fred
Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
Never muck with Fred
Cause he is evil as
No little boy
He isn’t Fred flintstone
He has no best mate named Barney
He is just a nasty guy
Don’t muck with him
He is Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
Never muck with Fred
Cause you are young
He is middle aged
So Fred Fred Fred
Never muck with Fred
He is bad news
So stay away little boy
Never ever ever little boy
Muck with Fred
Cause he is bad news

Party zone with johnny Brown


Johnny'. Hi guys and welcome to party zone and without further ado here is a song from
The ***** hater and no one here will like him I can tell you

***** hater'
The drunks of Australia
Have made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up
The drunks of Australia have actually learnt
That their behaviour is so disruptive
You see it is me sitting in this bar drinking everything that came out like taquila and kalua
And a nice cold beer
You see a big mean biker dude
Came up to me and said
You are singing about my friends
And I said
The drunks of Australia have
Made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up oh yeah
The drunks of Australia
Should actually learn
Their behaviour is so disruptive
You see I went over to the stage
To put $20 in the bucket because this band asks for donations to help support their kid in chile, as usual there was
A lot of money there but as a natural fact everyone in here is a helper apart from
The drunks of Australia have made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up
The drunks of Australia
Should actually learn
Their behaviour is quite disruptive
Johnny'. Thank you ***** hater
And now here is Toby with his
Song about partying
Toby'. I wanna party I wanna party
All ****** day and night
I will upload my song about bullying on YouTube to raise
Awareness that it is wrong
To bully
I wanna party I wanna party
All day and night
I will post this song on hello poetry to inspire people
To feel good about posting their
Stuff
I wanna party I wanna party
Like meat loaf and noiseworks
And twisted sister
I said pass the carrots please
And then I went upstairs to yell at my son using the army is better than music gag
I wanna party I wanna party
I wanna get wasted every day and night
I really wanna party dudes
Johnny' thank you Toby
And now here is mentally ill Harry
Harry'. I go to see my case manager to get a script for seroquel
It is ****** ****** annoying
How they don't give it to me
I don't  spend that long away from my phone
Please please please  I want
You understand that we ain't robots mate and my beard and glasses and my filthy feet and hands and toe nails and finger nails about as long as a tree branch
Please provide me with a script for seroquel please please please
Johnny thank you Harry
And we will see you next time on party zone bye


Sent from my iPhone

the day i tried to be a hooligan



you see i was being a hooligan back in the 90s oh yeah mate yeah

i was running around belconnen like a raging hooligan

you see i was hearing voices in my head

saying i am a woosey, but i know i am not, i am cool

you see dad was trying to tell me that i was with the wrong crowd

and i hear these voices from my best mate, leave brian alone mr allan

i don’t want to muck with you, i was picking on dad, but he had to call the police

and he put me on medication to ****** calm mevdown

you see i was a wild drinker and my beard was like a hobos

and dad went to his grave not knowing i was trying to be like pat

i don’t want to be like everyone else i prefer to be myself

and dad threatened to throw me out of the house but decided against it in the end

i wasn’t really that bad, i was nice to mum and dad one minute and horrible and wild the next

i ran off to an open pub in  the night to try and grab a good time

like las vegas and blind beggars as well as the hungry horse

i got totally hammered man and i bought one beer home

and sat on my bathroom floor trying to cool person

you see mum worried when she smelt beer on me

and i snapped at her without thinking

i bought 5 cases of the greatest beer and i decorated my flat into a little beer garden

where i can sit and rest

i don’t know why i get cranky oh no, maybe dad thought i was crazy

i say i was crazy, but not anymore

i did a tapestry on my thoughts as i drink to escape the voices

i told mum and dad things like do you like eric boyson and they said quieten down

i partied at the hungry horse drinking 23 beers

and getting really drunk oh yeah that was the life for me

i went to town centre tavern and page tavern and drank $50 worth of beer

i was trying to be like patrick a bit when i bought myself a packet of crisps

i heard my brother come flying out of his house saying what’s that brian

i am mucking around again, you are like mum and dad now brian

i seemed to take my dreaded voices out on poor mum and dad

i threw a rubber spider on mum, she jumped and dad laughed

i made jokes with dad about the pool is losing it’s water

dad said, he has to be on the ball with me

i jumped up and played basketball with the kids

like brendan and bo and josh

and one kid told me to kidnap him, and i said i am trying to drink beer to reform my kidnapper

i rang patrick up at the pub to see if he wants to party

he said no, mainly because he probably didn’t want to go

i was getting drunk with a mate named steve and he was a yeller a mighty yeller

a real crazy person, oh yeah, but some time he was nice, trying to talk me into going to ulladulla with him, NO THANKS

drinking with him was fun back then, but i teased him and that is why he yelled

i was trying to be like patrick when i went to the choirboys concert

and i nearly got mugged but i got away, but i lost everything that night, I WAS CRAZY

i still found it hard talking to mum and dad because i was a yeller

and every time i drank after work, mum said have you been drinking

yeah i drank with some of my mates from north south contractors

stephen and scott, oh yeah, i went back to scott’s to listen to heavy metal, man that was rad,

and the hotdog we ate was great, dude

i joined the bowling league back in 2000, and i was a real party dude oh yeah

i partied with kathryn on the dance floor despite me being tired from my medication

and i bowled in campbelltown and gosford and hornsby and illawarra and went to cheer on the swans oh yeah

you see mate, i like doing things, ya know i like being cool

and with the right medication, i stopped fighting my parents woo oh

i went to the fucken psych ward in 2004 for killing the blasted cat

and i yelled HELP HELP HELP HELP

and finally in 2007 after 38 years, i moved out into a flat on my own and i am enjoying this

and in the end of the year, i got myself a job at LEAD, but i was having mental problems

and in 2009 i was put on seroquel and i visited adelaide for the first time

and i went back to adelaide in 2012, in 2005 and 2012 the mighty swans won the cup

and i went to the carols, you see i was dumb enough to replace the pub with the carols

i got my first every day job in 2013 but it only lasted 4 months, as i chucked all my belongings over the balcony

and sent to the psych ward and placed on a medication order of good behaviour

which means i will go to the psych ward if i don’t take my medication

i am thinking this is great, all i need to take his my medication, and i stay out of the psych ward, cool

and in 2014 dad died and i started a cartooning course as well as winning a duck at my inaugural poetry slam

which is on the third wednesday of each month

i have been going there every month except december, and i read my very own poems

now, i am putting the backings on my tapestries and yeah i am cool

and tonight i can’t sleep having horrible thoughts from my 2 times in the psych ward

Fuckwits fuckwits
People who panic buy are fuckwits
Stealing toilet paper from blind peoples trolleys
They don’t care
They are just fuckwits
Really stupid people
Don’t you think
It will be hard to wake up in the morning to beat the crazy fuckwits
Who panic buy their groceries
Probably giving the virus away
Fuckwits fuckwits
Mentally deranged fuckwits
They don’t care about anyone else
Than themselves
They are selfish for they are fuckwits
Yes they are the stupidest people that I ever met
Fuckwits fuckwits
Stupid crazy people
Not caring for anyone
Not helping the poor out
They are panic buying so they are ready
But they are fuckwits because
They stop regular people from doing the same
****** fuckwits

the raiders show, full time report, 21 march 2015, we ****



as we draw the final curtain, the raiders **** again

it was a great start but then they faded away

just like they usually do

you see the raiders were woeful, especially in the 2nd half

no i am discusted oh yeah

it was the worst match, back to the old drawing board


johnny’  thanks and what a woeful performance in the end, by the raiders, and it actually is a hard

job picking the raider of the match, only one raider scored in the second half, but here is sue longways

with the raider of the match, horrible effort

sue’  yeah, johnny, it was a horrible effort but the raider of the match goes to brett austin, now brett what went wrong

brett’  well, sue, we were woeful in that second half, and the dragons were just too good

sue’  yeah, were you thinking victory, at half time, maybe too over confident so to speak

brett’  yeah, maybe we were over confident in the first half, but the dragons got 8 points before the break, and

then another 14, well, anyway, terrible match

sue’   anyway here is the raider of the match medallion, congrats and now here is bob from gordon

bob’   and now we draw the final curtain, the raiders **** again

it was a really terrible game, buddy a terrible match for the raiders team

yeah the raider, ya know they do ****, it was a woeful game

what happened to the hopeless raiders, ya know the raiders ****

what is wrong with the mighty raiders, they didn’t look so mighty tonight

why couldn’t the raiders win it, i think it’s just that their hopeless

sue’   and now here is johnny brown with his jingle, not our johnny brown, johnny from duffy

johnny’   we are on the rocking horse caused by the raiders losing

you see we rocked all day long

they are sitting on the rocking horse, all day long, my love

i wished our raiders won

you see, the raiders had a bad match, good start, but hopeless finish

really the raiders faded, yeah, what a woeful effort, yeah woeful effort woeful effort yeah mate ****** yeah

sue’   thanks johnny brown, and now back to our johnny brown

johnny’   thanks sue, that was a terrible match and to make matters much worst, we play the roosters next game

and i say, we’ll lose to the roosters next week and here is micheal with his jingle

micheal, go the dragons, we kicked some ****** ***

go dragons, we showed some fucken class

yeah the mighty st george, oh yeah, yeah they were great in the end

go dragons kick some ****** ***, go dragons, show some ****** class

go the dragons go the dragons, dragons won true blue, GO DRAGONS

johnny’  ok now everybody it’s beer o’clock and the raiders were given a football lesson, a rootball lesson

and we have the reason to give canberra much credit, except for the first 18 points

CATCH YA NEXT TIME raiders show fans

DRAGONS OVER RAIDERS 22 - 20

hi guys and gals

i went to bowling this morning and, mate i had a bad first game  of 113 which is what i call, ****

but i came back in the second game with 4 strikes in a row, (a four bagger) and a few spares

to make 187, and after that i scored 4 more strikes and 3 spares to make 169, i think that is an awesome effort

it wasn’t as good as last weeks 216, but still awesome

poem

what an awesome morning i had

at the bowling alley today

scoring strikes, a few spares

and giving a tonne of high fives

it’s fun doing tenpin bowling

and if you are good you could enjoy it more

i have a handicap of 37, which is ****** beauty good

first of all you check which lane

and then you play the game

and no matter what score you get

you have a little win

geez, i am good at bowling

i score over 100 every time

people ask me how are you, what’s your name

i say, hi i am brian







this is the frame by frame scoreboard of today’s bowling, so you can see, i miss a few, but i certainly know how to get strikes and spares














1        7  2   9


2       5   -   14



3      8   1    23



4   1    8    32



5    9   -    41



6   4    1    46



7   7  /      65


8   9  /      85



9     X     104


10   4  5  113


total score 113




1    9   -    9


2    X     39


3    X     69


4    X     97


5   X    117


6   8   /   133


7   6   /    150


8   7   2    159


9   9   /     178


10   9   -  187


total score    187





1    7   /      20



2        X      38


3   7   1      46


4       X      66


5   8   /      86


6       X    113


7       X     133


8    7   /    151


9    8   1    160


10   7   2    169


total score    169

Having fun with my granny and nanny
It is a lot of fun
Going to the circus
Talking while watching television
Trying to get her off the phone so you could watch Mickey Mouse club
Playing tv shows in the back yard
Hoping dogs don’t come and interupped them playing cricket on the cricket pitch and watching hockey and cricket from their house
Going to the local show
Getting showbags
Going on rides
Going to the movies
Watching movies at home on ****** vision
Catching the bus to the city to have lunch or to shop
Walking to the local supermarket
Catching the bus to Charlestown Westfield and having lunch and shop
Going to k mart
Having henny penny for lunch and dinner
Having KFC and MacDonalds for lunch and dinner
Having hamburgers for lunch and dinner
All with chips
Picking mushrooms off the green
Gotta be careful with doing that now
Cooking nice meals
Watching days of our lives and young and the restless together
Staying up on new years to see it in
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I still do that in memory
It was fun

You see I want to be cool
And I want to be fit
And I want to have fun
Oh yeah just a bit
But I ain’t into bullying
In any way is wrong
Like people forcing me
To run faster than faster
Up the stairs without having fun
I know they train you
And they get you lose weight
But I want to have fun
And I don’t really want to get bullied
No way hoizei
**** u stupid bullies
Fusb
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
I went to school and people
Said I won’t be your friend
PE teacher saying the only way
To be cool is to totally fit yeah
But I could’ve fallen and passed right out
Do you fucken care
I am a typical Australian
You are ****
And you are a bad bully yeah
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
You see when you are at school
And people bully you, yeah
They say don’t cry and squabble with you and lock you in a room
In a classroom in a school
It is bad I hate it
And I feel like bashing them back
If I was good enough yeah
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
You see I hated my mates
Turning against me of the stupid things I did
So I started to hang around the mall
But people asked me for money
Making me feel like a hooligan oh yeah
And after 4 years I hated the bullies
At the mall so I started to enjoy my life saying I love my life too much
To let you guys worry me
I go home and watch the footy
And now I can’t do that now due to Corona it is bad
But those bullies were awful and I say
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
Yes go and get ****** you stupid bullies
Fusb
Whether you are poor or rich or Asian or African or Australian or British
Bullying is wrong
******* stupid bullies
Fusb
******* stupid bullies
Fusb

What does Canberra really need
A new northside hospital
Or a 30-000 seat in the ANU
A hospital will help a lot of people
Get better
I had celluitis on my leg
I am wearing a compression stocking for lymphedrmia
And I have a mental illness
I also have kayo
To watch sport at home
So I don’t really think we need a new stadium just upgrade Manuka oval
For AFL GIO stadium for rugby league and rugby union and soccer and improve mackellar park and hawker softball field
Make sure this hospital has a great psychiatric facility and a good service to help people with lymphedemia and celluitis and better hospital beds
Those beds were uncomfortable
Sit back and say do we need a new hospital or new 30-000 stadium in Canberra

You see Donald trump is dangerous
And gives no **** for the poor
He wants to scrap Obama care
And show em the ****** door
But people are suffering
Underneath Donald trump
Yes oh yes they are
Heal the world
Vote Donald trump out
Vote for Biden because he is better
And life would be good with him
The poor are suffering
Really suffering mate
Heal the world from Donald trump
You see his hat said
Make America great again
But under Donald trump
America isn’t really that great
You see George Floyd died
Because of his ****** laws
Make the world a better place
By getting rid of Donald trump
He doesn’t understand Covid
By telling people
To inject disenfectant into your veins
And said he was only joking
And telling people to take
A drug for Milleria
And nobody is social dinstincing
At all his rallies
You see his crazy promise
A world free of covid
Keep telling us he wants a vaccine
In 2 months
You shouldn’t promise things like that
As a president
Heal the world
Get rid of Donald trump
He is America’s most dangerous president
Vote the ******* out
Vote for Biden
If you want the truth
Come on Donald trump *******

After a busy year of playing footy
It was time for the annual football awards
And this year they wanted me to tag along
To give me a shield
We went through all the teams
And the managers and the coaches
And then finally the helpers
Like in canteen and filling up the water
You see I quit in 2019
And nobody seemed happy to see me here
But overall when I got my award
They all congratulated me
Saying there he is
Big big Brian
The toughest man overall
He will bbq our meat and never burn it
Just like it was as tasty as a lolly god **** it
You see meat is easy to cook right
If you do it right
You see I even got my photo taken
With the team oh what a thrill
Then we partied on the dance floor
Open up the stupid door
Party on dudes

I feel very tired from ear to ear
And I feel like having a beer
To celebrate Christmas and new year
You see I will get drunk and disturb the peace
And the beer will make me fall down on my knees
I could party all over this town
With tooheys blue tooheys red
And XXXX too
And a bottle of champagne and at the end we'll spew
And I wake up at half past two
Ready to party and party we will
You see the drinking keeps me awake
Like a cup of a nice milk shake
Do the milk shake milk shake
Do the shake
And flap your hands after drinking a few
Yeah mate yeah
I am ready to spew
Your family yell at you and they say that your crazy
Just because you are a workaholic to some and
To others your lazy
You feel like drinking
Saying let's get drunk
You see if you do you will feel like that skunk
Showing your body odour
And not have a shower
You will stink longer than 2 hours
Beer beer beer we all drink beer
Getting drunk smelling and being sick yeah mate yeah

John Barton was a happy soul
Who went to work and thought he was really cool
He went to the local ice hockey match
To bring the players closer to god
He was trying to help each player Become the best they can be
He tried to be a crazy adult by going to bed and he wasn’t that tired
So instead of staying in bed
He got up and watched more tv
And also argued with people in other houses
Even though those people were in bed and not really teasing him
But John wanted to be cool so much
He pretended these people were teasing him stopping him from being cool so John can be the coolest dude around
And because of how John wax acting
Nobody wanted to be his friend
And all the neighbours hated him
Because their guests left because
Of Johns yelling
John said i am cool and you are stupid
You are a brainless twit
And I am cool
I am better than you in every single way
I stay up cause I can’t sleep
Doing art writing stories and playing computer games
And smoking snd droning as well
John Barton is cooler than his mates
One friend said, mate what are you talking about, you are no mate of mine say your my friend
John said I am an adult
I have fun I stay up all night with my mates but I am a cool adult
And you are a wimp
Some neighbours came up to his house and said would you f..n quieten down I have to work tomorrow dude
And John said ******* *******
And try to ignore
You are stupid you are dumb
You like to go to bed and never want to say
Go bed little child mate in every way
And then John picked him up and said
Don’t come to my door ****
******* Turk so we can get on with our lives
And John wanted to be a cool adult
And he was

Giants of Manuka

Johnny’. Hello and welcome to the cold Manuka oval in Canberra for the last giants home match being played here and tonight, the opponent is the mighty Adelaide crows, who were last years runners up, and this year they meet with giants are 4th while the crows are on 12th, it should be a great game this evening and hopefully we won’t get anymore rain but we very well might and now at the gate here is Gil tucker, well Gil have we got any happy crowd members
Gil’. Yes Johnny we have 4 people from rivett singing a jingle they made up this morning
4 from Rivett’
Come on giants, the crows have had their chance, they lost last years grand final and we fell one game short but who cares about 2017 when the giants are still up in the 8 and if we win today we will be pressing to beat what we did for the last 2 years so carn the mighty giants mate pile the pressure on mate
Carn the mighty giants never give up without a fight
Go giants, Adelaide are finished
Go the mighty giants
Gil’. Thank you for that lovely bit of entertainment here at giants at Manuka and Johnny, I think it will be a lovely night for footy here at Manuka
Johnny’. Thank you Gil and now both teams are out on the ground training and getting a feel of the ground and there is no sign of rain at the moment but who knows what will happen later, now the banners of the giants and crows have just arrived on the ground and mate there are a lot people who are part of both teams especially the giants, playing to get themselves back to the top 4 and the mascots have come on the ground as well, this is very exciting ready for a footy party mate and what a party it is, first of all the giants running on, and then came the crows, this is going to be a great night for footy, and now over to Gil, with some more spectators chants
Gil’ thanks Johnny and here is Bradley Simmons from Queanbeyan with a song for you
Brad’ ok we are cheering loud
And also strong the team is the mighty giants
They will put on the power to get back in the 4
Where they ****** belong
I know the crows are good
But they have had their chances
Yes we must go one better this year
So the way we will do that
Is to win our last match here
In Manuka
Go giants of Manuka
Gil’ thank you brad and now back to Johnny
Johnny’ yeah,what a chant and I hope the giants have what it takes to win this evening
So let’s get ready to party dudes, let’s see if the giants have what it takes to beat the crows tonight
Quarter time
Johnny’ welcome to the quarter time show and our giants and the crows are head to head
Giants are 4 4 28 just 1 point in front of the crows 4 3 27 and it is a crackerjack game so far and dance cam has just started and they dance holding the ball in the air and meanwhile the giants and the crows are still in their groups and here is Gil with his fan
Gil’ yes here is rob
Rob go giants keep it up
A close first quarter now we must break away
Go giants
Gil’. Thank you rob and now back to the match
Johnny’ yes what a match this has turned out to be the crows are 7 7 49 to our mighty giants of Manuka 6 9 45, a very close match for both teams tonight and now over to Gil with some spectators with their chants, hopefully these chants will inspire our giants to play a good second half
Gil’. Thank you Johnny and yes it is a very exciting game and now here is Jane with her chant
Jane’. My name is Jane and I say right here
That the giants are good enough to win the cup this year
You see they need to hold their marks and kick goals rather than behinds but if they do that
The sky is the limit you see
So if you are enjoying this close game the giants are definately going to claim the fame
Go giants
Gil’ thank you Jane and now bob with his chant
Bob go go go go go the giants must win
Go go go go go go they are the best around
In every single town oh yeah
The mascots are having fun
But they prefer us to be leading
We need to cut them up till they are bleeding go giants go
Gil’ ok thanks bob and now back to Johnny
Johnny’ love the chants and now queen are blasting the stadium as our giants of Manuka have entered the ground as well as the crows and umpires, oh well here is the second half
Go the mighty giants
Johnny’ welcome to three quarter time and a great match with the giants getting back in front the giants are 11 14 80 to the crows 10 9 69, 11 points up and I can tell you that the giants have the power to win, but Adelaide are keeping it close
What a great game here is Gil
Gil’ thank you and now here is a chant from jack from Sydney
I love you I love you I love you said the umpire to the crows
I love you I love you I love you
We are counting all their wohs
The march has a quarter to go
So go the giants give us a go
Gil’ thank you and now time for the final quarter go giants
Johnny’ welcome to the full time wrap and what a win for the GWS, over the Adelaide crows
GWS 15 16 106 to Adelaide 13 14 92 and the giants of Manuka surely reigned supreme and here is Gil with some of the spectators
Gil’. Yeah what a win for the giants and that put them back in the top 3 and now here is Peter from Campbelltown with his victory song
Peter’ it is the big big sound
From Canberra town
The team is the mighty giants
They won the match
The crows will splat
In the boots before the giants
We jump up to our highest peak
Better than the rest
We are the greater western Sydney giants
Stronger than the rest
Gil’ thanks Peter and mate it was a great game
Peter’ yeah what a win by the greater western Sydney giants
Top win better than the rest
Go giants
Gil’ and now here is olly
Olly’ go giants we have won
We knocked the crows to kingdom come
Yes we’re great and we can make the grand final
We will be ready for the tigers
We will win
Go giants go giants go giants go
The team from Sydney with a lot of get up and go
Go giants
Gil’ yeah thank you olly and I can say just one thing go the mighty giants for 2018
And now back to Johnny to sign off from giants of Manuka
Johnny’ yeah, what a win
The giants 15 16 106 to the crows 13 14 92 and I want to say to all the kick to kick dudes
Just one thing, are you ready dudes
Kick to kick people’
And now we draw the final curtain
Yes it’s the giants triumphant against the crows
There were a few hiccups
But at the end it was totally wild
Everybody cheered forever
The party was pretty cool
Now let’s go home or to our parties yes go the giants yeseree
Go the giants
Johnny’ thanks for watching giants of Manuka and go the giants for the rest of the year ok
Catch ya dudes and dudettes

silly kids oh silly kids are so stupid kids, asking me, the wrong person to be put in a team



oh yeah i was coming out of woolies with my chocolate and my drinks

and the kids asked me to sign them up for the magpies

just because i had a magpies t shirt on

he was a poor poor kid, whose parents don’t give a **** about him

but really i don’t know how i can help him

because he wanted to play footy, well, what boy doesn’t

well, probably he is teasing me, but i think he is a poor kid suffering

under, tony, fucken abbotts, wing

and this kid needs to be given a go, but i think he was weird ya see

because i am just the bbq man, and i have no authority to put him in a team

i love life, and i hate men who bully, any kind of bullying

i don’t want to get bullied, I’m just want to do my art

and eat chicken wings, and go on outings with people i know

i hate what the young dudes used to say to me, they were horrible

to me, i was a nice person, never put a foot wrong

that kid was under a spell from tony abbott or ronnie biggs and ted bunny

yeah it could be cosmic, or he might really want to play for the magpies

magpies club there is a kid on hawker who wants to play for the club

ok dudes give him a go 4 it

you see bob delahunty, one da7y developed this website, where he takes people on quests

to find out whether or not really exists, and first stop was jerusealum, where he spoke to a rabbi,

and bob asked the question does GOD exist, and the rabbi said, i can be your saviour where

whenever you need any answers, i can show you, ok,

after that, bob went to the BUDDHIST temple in taibet, and the buddhist nuns said, god is just

a couple of easy answers, we need people to understand that the answer is to mend every blade of grass

and bob left thinking mmmmm interesting, and the muslims said, god, there is no god, but there is mohammad,

and he is the same, as this GOD, and bob went away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, ANNNND BOB

the next part of bobs quest was going over to the catholic church and after 12 minutes of hearing the boring catholic morals

bob went over to the priest, how many children have you ****** today, and priest got offended in what bob asked, and through

bob outside, with the tune going, god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, AND BOB

bob was kicked out of every religious place in the world, so he decided to gather some religious freaks, to form his own religion

going out on the underground to meet different religious people on the street, first was wendy sweeeeet lips who was a ****** by night

nun and helper of the poor by day, and she was nice to bob, ands bob said, i can get a decent **** out of this pretty lady, time and time again

and when the nun was asked to leave the catholic church despite her keeping the ****** bit to herself, she decided to join BOB,  religion

by a man named bob, bob had this philosophy, no ugly wannabes, just **** legs and pretty faces

bob asked the ******-nun, do you think GOD exists, and they said, we don’t hate any religion, but, we hate catholics, because, their morals

are against our good work here, we don’t have a GOD, policy here, we are the face of the devil, but the devil brings happiness,

you know to angry *** crazed men, aren’t they needed to wipe off the angry look, and bob went away, who cares, and sang his song

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL, WHO IS BOB

and bob said, who cares if i’m the devil

i don’t look at the symbol of jesus nailed to a cross being a symbol of peace

jesus exixts, but the way he is killed is the REAL DEVIL

BECAUSE, all together now


god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, AND BOB

It will be sad for those war widows
Who were told so many years ago
Their husbands died in the war
And they had to find somewhere
To lay their body
And so many women became widows
Back in the war
So many indeed
That is why the RSL is around
Because a lot of our diggers lost best friends or mates or brothers
So we have Anzac Day
Where everyone can remember them
I can’t imagine what they were going through and they are reminded of a terrible time
But they need to grieve and they need to go to their driveway and
Remember them
Start at the going down of the sun
And end with we must remember them
We are lucky nowadays that we can choose to fight in the war
Back then they were forced and if they refused they were labelled a coward
Well, we must remember the diggers who fought in world war 1 and world war 2
We must remember them

god rest ye merry gentlemen

i got something to say

you see my name is simon parkes

and i live in port phillip bay

i save you all from satans power every sunday

i celebrate christmas right oh lay

you see every time christmas comes

i go into a panic

having party after party like it’s going out of fashion

you see i give gifts to the kids and wine for the adults yeah

the parties are good for young and old young and old

the parties are for young and old do do

you see santa comes through your computer

and he makes a splat

right on the bedroom floor, right next to the cat

it didn’t worry me because santa had what i need

thank christ for that oh yeah

he gave me a teddy that said comfort and joy for everyone hip hip hooray

the teddy said comfort and joy for everyone, oh yeah

god rest ye merry gentlemen

i got something to say

you see i am simon parks

and i live in port phillip bay

i save you all from satan’s power every sunday

merry christmas and a happy new year happy new year

merry christmas and a happy new year to you