Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
Went to bed with my mate Nathaniel never ever bothered to read the manual Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
Died last night in a pool of baniel his name is Daniel and he is crazy he is Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
You see Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
Ooh he died and came back to life again
As a chicken for that is his name
Chicken **** Daniel the cocker spaniel
Daniel Daniel the stupid mentally man I know he is suffering and I feel sorry for him
I want to save him from his problems of Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
He watches soccer especially Barcelona he watches the match and if they win
He will play we are the champions really loud
Daniel Daniel the cocker spaniel
He was cool in a sort of a way
Yeah we had fun for this is just a joke to lighten the mood of the cocker spaniel named Daniel

Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
You see I took his powers
Which he said he had
You see I am showing
The universe how to party
And in the process
Take Daniels powers away
And when he kills himself
The forces of the universe
Will reach into his body
And take his negative powers away
Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
You see I am the man
Of the universe mate
I can’t control the world
And either can Daniel
So let me muck around up in the cosmos
Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
Because he is a boring fellow
Never having fun
You see god took Daniels
Daniels oh Daniels
God took Daniels powers away
You see I wanted Daniel to build cities in Saturn he refused to
Saying he just wants to do it on earth
You see he masturbated over Chris bath and Natasha belling and Justine Schofield as well
He loved Elle macpherson
Yes he was *****
But because of his powers
He caused havoc for friends and family and if anyone ****** him off
He will put lines and grey hairs on their body
Daniel lost his powers
Powers oh powers
Yes he lost his powers
Because he knocked people over
And he knocked restaurants plates
I’m the floor man
When they did things to his food
Daniel lost his powers
Oh yeah let’s party mate

Daniel is in the psych ward
Because he is a cool kid to the system
He dreams of having anxiety
By saying he will get one
Totally weird
You see he needs to change
But he will never do
Because he pushes himself down
To be a cool kid to the system
He should try to work
And just ignore
His boss when he yells at him
He says he is dying
And he wants to fucken die
But I believe in living
I don’t want to push myself down
Only losers push themselves down
Working is much more important
Than falling in the ditch
I try and tell Daniel to just ignore people
But mate he is a crazy funny fella
When he pushes himself down
At the moment
He is being harrased by  nurse
Who won’t fucken help him
Boo hoo
You see Daniel hates
The Australian culture
Mainly the whites though
He supports the blacks
I agree with him
But not all the time
I say I do
To be nice
But really he is a fool
Only fools push themselves down
And when he dies
He wants to be a Jew in New York mate
But I have better ideas mate
Daniel is strange
He hates my fave bbl team in cricket
The Sydney Sixers
But I don’t fucken care
Because I don’t push myself down
I keep up with the families
I stay with the families
As well as the kids
I want to have fun
Like a family person does
Not like Daniel
Who is a hooligan
Oh yeah

Daniel said he can control the world
Daniel said people can read his thoughts
Daniel said that Rupert Murdoch
Is Match fixing the big bash cricket
Daniel said that he can’t run because of his knees
Daniel said people are laughing at him, and even if people are, he is just a negative ****
Daniel said his mum is in a bad way
Daniel said his sister is in a bad way
Daniel said his dad is a rich ****
Daniel said that he is the messiah
Daniel said he will go through the golden gate and bring people down with him
Daniel said the daily telegraph is crap and he tries to change people from reading that crap
Daniel said jimmy swaggart is a Christian ****
Daniel said all Christians are *****
Daniel said that he can’t work or do anything positive like things he is interested in, he is too negative to be my friend
Daniel said Jesus never came
But he is too negative to be the Jewish messiah anyway

I have a friend named Daniel
He is a bit negative but
That is because his family
Treat him like ****
Daniel was born in 1979
Over ten years after me
After his last life which was
Soccer player from Italy
The players name was renarto curi
You see when Daniel was a baby
His family turned the soccer off
Daniel cried really loudly
Till they turned it back on
Daniel has always been good at soccer
Despite him being mentally ill
He played soccer for a lot of clubs
As well as kicking the ball with mates
He says he can control soccer
And other sports as well
But that was renarto curi’s spirit
Getting into his body
You see in the 1950s renarto curi
Was just a little kid
About the same time as my past life
Graeme Thorne and when renarto died he wanted to meet that poor kid
Who was thrown to the sharks
But renarto curi has to
Put up with somebody who says
He is the messiah
But that is because of his ****** life
And ****** family that goes with it
I want renarto curi to make sure
That Daniel who is dying doesn’t have those powers in his next life
Yes Daniel needs to be positive
Not the negative **** he could be

Come on Daniel
Come on Daniel
Why aren’t you answering your phone
Please Buddha let me know
Why Daniel isn’t answering his phone
It isn’t going to voicemail like usual
It just stops like he is deceased or something
What the **** is going on Daniel
Are you alright
I know you have problems
But why aren’t you answering your phone
I don’t know if your dead or alive
I am sitting listening to hip hop
Thinking about your past
If you are deceased I want closure
If you are alive why aren’t to fucken answering your phone
You just stopped calling suddenly
Is Daniel alright
My head is muddled
My head feels weird
So why Daniel why Daniel
Aren’t you answering your phone
I know you say that the liberals
Are playing with your phone
But normally it doesn’t do this
Why oh why Daniel
Aren’t you answering your phone
Come on Daniel
Come on Daniel
Are you dead
Are you alive
Are you in the psych ward
Or are you in hospital
I said Daniel
I said Daniel
Why aren’t you answering your phone
It has been fun talking to you
I don’t agree with everything you say
But it has been fun
It would be a terrible world
If we all liked the same thing
Daniel Daniel
Just answer your phone
I have given up ringing you
But I still am thinking of you
I ain’t gay but I still want you
To be ok
Daniel Daniel
What is wrong

Ommmmmmmmm
David Mather is in the womb or Taylor Marlor
With mark Marlor being his new dad
Ommmmmmmmm
You see David Mather was a very nice person
And he wanted to be with the kid who liked Brian Allan
Ommmmmmmmm
But I know for a fact that David Mather misses his family
So Buddha made him still live in Canberra to be close to them
Ommmmmmmmm
You see he died around my birthday, he was also getting sick at times when I knew him
Ommmmmmmmm
He loved cleaning the shoes at. Vinnies Belconnen whilst he spoke about his family
Ommmmmmmmm
Please Buddha give David a great next life with Taylor and mark whilst he looks over his old family
Ommmmmmmmm
Enjoy your new life David Mather

I am in Brisbane, Queensland
I flew in from Canberra this morning
It was an awesome flight
We had a snack on the plane
Biscuits with caremalised onion dip
The flight took 1 hour and a half
We got off the plane
I tapped the plane for good luck
I ate a gourmet pie for lunch
We went on two buses to the pacific hotel
And it was really COOL
When we got to the hotel
I am staying with another good bowler named Shane
We got into the room, and we showed off our room
To social media, it was rad
We watched Becker on 10 peach Brisbane
And at 5.00 we headed off to the Brisbane lions AFL club for tea
I had a seafood basket, it was tasty
And just for $1 we all became members
GO LIONS
They had Tuesday night trivia night
Where they asked questions
And we called out the answers
Like KISS and the Sullivan’s etc
I found the club totally awesome
I took a few snaps for my Facebook page
Then we went home to relax before our first day of tenpin bowling
I watched neighbours
And everyone did what they awaited
Paul bell joked about us all go to a nightclub
I was told I have to be ready for breakfast @ 8 am tomorrow
Some others got 8-30
It was a great flight up

Brisbane bowling trip day 2

Today it was just a tenpin bowling day
My scores were 143 and 129 and 115
And I waited about an hour for my Mexican nachos
And I cheered on my team mates including my roommate Shane
And no, he isn’t Shane Warne, different kind of bowling dude
It was fun watching people bowl
I also saw tony parker, an old acquaintance at school
And when I got my Mexican nachos it was 4.00 pm
For lunch, I bowled with another bowler tony d
And after the last bowler left, we went back to the
Brisbane lions AFL club for dinner, I ordered a burger
Which I only ate a little bit because of my late lunch of nachos
We had numbers in the raffle there
And Ingrid said, what will we do with a tray of meat
I said, how about if we win a tray of meat
We could have a BBQ, but we lost, and then
We stayed at the club to watch the state of origin
And everybody was singing the national anthem
And the veronicas looked **** on the television
And when the game started we headed home and
I videoed a video of us going past the Brisbane Ferris wheel
Which is on Aaron Clayton YouTube channel Santa Claus profile
And we all listened to the footy cheering on the blues
And I went into my room to watch home and away and neighbours
With the state of origin on
The blues won 50-6
We are the cool blues
We won the match up in Townsville
Today my mate we never let them down
Cleary and the others too good for maroons
GO BLUES
And then we went to bed

Six feet under
Doesn’t worry me
My body will be dead
But my soul is alive
You see as long as I am walking
And Keeping me fit
Able to party on all night
Yes that will be alright
You see I might want to look young
Live my life and have a lot of fun
It doesn’t matter when I die
Who gives a ****
I go to my next life
In Katie Donnelly or Annie Le Blanc
Annie would be great mate
Cause I will be back with my gran
Six feet under
Doesn’t worry me
My body will be dead
But my soul is alive
You see I want to be a popular dude
Even in my adult life
But not like now
I don’t want a mental illness
I don’t want a disability
My next life I will be cool
And have cool friends
Feel cool oh yeah
I can party on tik tok
And Instagram too
I want my next life to be loved
And I want to have fun
LIVE LIFE
Six feet under
Doesn’t worry me
My body will be dead
But my soul
My ******* soul
Will be alive

My defensive carer named Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo



You see my nice regular carer, Andrew Williams was sick and didn't want go to work
Which put spanner in the works in the office, and they were wondering who will replace him
So they decided to ask Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo a call, and were happy when he said yes
And they forgot to tell his first client, who can be very confusing in conversation
But they forgot to tell that client and Alfreido turned up at his door
And this was the day that Andrew was going to take him for a walk through the domain
Where the Christmas carols, and Alfreido was happy to take him
And they had a cool time, till the client told him about his old carer who was names Reimo
And Aldreido snapped at him, and his client thought that he doesn't understand happiness
And this made him happier, and he started laughing and trying to joke around with Alfreido
And Alfreido did joke with him, and really they started to hit off
And then, so his client mentioned his old carer Reimo and how much of a **** he was
And Alfreido got defensive, in fact he got so angry he nearly hit his client
And this made his client too shy to say anything else
On the risk that Alfriedo was going to do it again
And he even was afraid to speak his mind, in the risk he'll snap at him
And his client were unhappy about how this carer treated him
Especially when they were leaving the domain and there were some teenagers teasing him
And this made his client think that Alfreido was teasing him with the kids
I know he had issues for what he said, but, he though this was very wrongs the way
His carer was behaving, and every time he mentioned Reimo, in hoping that he would
Joke around with you, he will snap, as if you were trying to rob you or something
So at the end when Alfriedo left, he didn 't know what to do
So he rang up the carers organization and told them why Alfreido came instead of Andrew
And they told him they had no choice, it was either Alfreido or no one
And this client said, ok in the future, I will prefer no one, especially if you send him again
Because he is too defensive, when I mention the name of my old carer
And despite telling him why he snapped, he still felt very unsafe
And said, I want you to send no one, or send no one
Because I felt I am offending this carer with anything I say
And I don't know what I really said, and the organisation said, fine
And Alfreido never saw him again,
And the next time Andrew came, and he was very relieved
And told him that the bad carer has gone, and will never return
And Andrew said, yes, mate, I will make sure they don't ever send him again


Sent from my iPhone

You see a few years ago
I was part of define fitness yeah
And I thought it was weird the way
They treated me
They wanted me to be a rich ****
They wanted me to sell my art
Basically on the road at trash and treasure
They pushed me around like I was a piece of meat mate
They didn’t care about my safety
They just wanted me to just
Enjoy being slim
Maybe I do but in my own way
Not drinking salty water or beef stock no way
Just eating the food I like you know oh yeah
You see it is hard to be like them
If they treat you like a rich ****
You know taking you out wiping
The poor man out of you
You see I had it made
Before I joined define fitness
I enjoyed doing things
And having fun yeah
Making me lift weights
Heavier than my own weight
Define fitness is an organisation
Full of rich ******
You see I had it best
Before I had them
I had to do two squats after one pull of vacuum
Eating everything with 10 shakes of salt on
Putting salt in my water
Like I am drinking out of the sea
I had it best
Before I had them
I could’ve broken my back
You see I was slack
I won an award but if I wasn’t good
The next session
He would say I will take your medals away
Which I think they are a bunch of rich ******
Sure it is good to exercise but mate
Were pushers
I hated them they made me feel like a ****
You you you
I had it best
Before I had before I had before I had them
Time after time I wanted to leave them
And go back to solo exhibitions in
The art hall
And not sell them at trash and treasure
Like a loser does
I had it best I really had it best
Before I ever had define fitness
Treating me like a rich ***** of an adult
And not just a nice adult I want to be
******* DEFINE FITNESS

S I AM SITTING WATCHING MY TV, I FEEL MYSELF BEING PULLED UP

TO BRING ME UP TO OUTER SPACE, AND ALSO GET RID OF MY SILLY DELLUSIONS

LIKE WATERING DOWN THE COMPUTER TO GROW A MONEY TREE ON THE INTERNET

AND TELLING MY PARENTS THEY AIN’T MY PARENTS

AND TO HELP IN THE HEALING OF THE MONEY TREE, I CLICKED ON A FERTILISER

WHICH HELPS GROW THE MONEY TREE

AND THEN AFTER THAT I PLAN TO ROB THE HAWKER SHOPS, AND DROP A FEW DOLLARS ON THE GROUND

TO GO BACK HOME TO JOI FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO SPURT MONEY DOWN TO THE POOR FROM PARADISE

YOU SEE, THE PARANORMAL WORLD ARE LIFTING MY BODY UP SAYING

WE ARE TAKING YOUR COOL KID AWAY, EVEN IF IT HURTS YA, CAUSE

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DON’T WANT TO LET IT GO

YOU SEE I HATE BEING CALLED DUMMY

AND I HATE BEING CALLED A WOOSEY

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON TO EVERYONE ELSE

I KNOW, DUDES IT’S BLOOD HARD TO DO, BUT AT LEAST GIVE ME THE ILLUSION OF A COOL PERSON

AT LEAST GET ME PAST THE MENTAL HEALTH NONSENSE OF MY PAST

AT LEAST GET ME PAST THE COOL KIDS, IN MY HEAD,

FOR, WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS TRYING TO FIT INTO THE COOL FAMILY LIFE

NONE OF MY FAMILY REALLY UNDERSTOOD, I SAT IN THE MIDDLE OF A BENDY BUS

MY FAMILY DIDN’T WANT TO

I WANTED TO GO TO DISNEYLAND IN THE USA, MY FAMILY PREFERRED TO WATCH DISNEY ON TV, WHICH IS FINER

I AM HAVING A SCHITZOPHRENIC WINGE, YOU SEE I WANT ALL MY KID LOOK TO PULL UP OVER MY BODY

AS DAD WANTS TO RID MY SILLY KID, HOOLIGAN, SO TO SPEAK, RIGHT OUT OF ME

YA SEE, DAD IS NOW BETTY, AND, I HEAR VOICES FROM MY PAST, LIKE PAT JUST SAID, I AM GOING TO **** YA BLOOD

AND MY BROTHER IS BEING A PROTECTOR, THINKING I HATE IT, SAYING, LEAVE BRIAN ALONE, BUDDY, HE’S NOT LIKE US

I HEAR PAT SAYING, MEN DON’T DO THAT THAT IS WHAT KIDS DO, PAT MIGHT GO TO BED

AND DAD IS TRYING TO PULL MY DELLUSIONAL HOOLIGAN OUT OF ME, WHICH MAKES PAT SAY

YOUR STILL A YOUNG DUDE BRIAN, DAD PULLS BRIAN’S DELLUSIONAL HOOLIGAN, AND PAT SAID, BRIAN IS STILL A YOUNG DUDE

AND THEN SAID, WE ARE JUST HAVING FUN WITH BRIAN’S BRAIN, MR AND MRS AND CHRIS AND BRIAN ALLAN

WE ARE JUST PLAYING WITH BRIAN’S BRAIN, THE VOICES ARE SAYING BRIAN ALLAN HATES LIFE, BUT THE TRUTH IS BRIAN ALLAN LOVES LIFE

AND I LIVE LIKE IT’S ONE BIG ADVENTURE, I GET A DELLUSIONAL TEASE AS MY BROTHER AND THE GUY THAT NICKED MY LUNCH

ARE LAUGHING AT ME, SAYING, WE FOOLED YA, BUDDY, OLE DUDE OLE PAL

WITH THEIR BIG YOUNG DUDE LAUGH THEY HAD BACK THEN

AND ME, BRIAN ALLAN, WANTS TO RID THOSE SILLY DELLUSIONS OUT OF ME, BY YOUNGER PEOPLE

I DON’T WANT TO BE AN OLD FOGIE ALL MY LIFE, I LIKE DOING THINGS

YOU SEE PAT IS SAYING, US BIG YOUNG DUDES ARE DOING WHAT WE USED TO DO, YA LITTLE SHY BOY

AND I SAY, I WANT TO GET RID OF THIS SILLY MOO COW AND SHIP DELLUSION AND WORRYING ABOUT IT, BEFORE I WORK AY COMMON BRAIN

AT PRESENT, PAT IS PUTTING MY KID WHEN I WAS YOUNG BACK INTO ME

AND THIS KID, IS MAKING ME ITCHY ALL OVER

AND ALSO PAT IS SITTING UP WATCHING TV SAYING, I AM JUST SITTING ON THE COUCH, I MEAN NO HARM

I SAID, I DON’T REALLY WANT ANYONE TO GIVE ME SPECIAL TREATMENT, YA KNOW WHY, DUDE

BECAUSE, I SORT OF KNOW MY CALLING

AND PAT HAS BEEN COOL, LYING ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND EATING BISCUITS ON THE LOUNGE AND ALSO SITTING THERE DRINKING HIS BEER YA SEE

WHILE I DO MY TAPESTRY

ANY DELLUSION WHICH HYPES UP PEOPLE

MY BROTHER GETS ON THE COMPUTER, SAYING YOUR STILL LIKE US, BRIAN AND PAT SAID ‘NO CHRIS, BE SHY FOR BRIAN

MY BROTHER SAID HE WASN’T SHY TO BE A COMPUTER BUFF, I AM NOT SHY TO BE A COMPUTER BUFF

ACTUALLY COMPUTERS ARE THE THING I LIKED ABOUT DAD, OUT OF THE MANY FAULTS

I LOVE TO MAKE THE COMPUTER WORK FOR ME LIKE DAD DID

PAT SAID, NO NO BRIAN IS STILL A YOUNG DUDE, BRIAN IS STILL YOUNG DUDE

DON’T BE BRIAN’S DADDY CHRIS, BE LIKE US, PAT SAID AS WELL AS SAYING NO NO NO

BRIAN IS STILL A YOUNG DUDE, AS PAT IS HAPPILY PLAYING AROUND THE HOUSE

TRYING TO GET ME TO CLKEAN MY HOUSE LATE AT NIGHT, YOU SEE PAT OLE BOY OLE PAL

I CLEAN DURING THE DAY WITH HELP, AND I CREATE ART AND WRITE AT NIGHT

AND I STARTED TO GET ITCHY, FROM THE TEASING BUG

It is the grand old flag
From Melbourne town
You see they beat the cats
Yes they did the mighty demons
Really let the cats have it
You see dudes with the
Red and the blue
What will happen next week
Are the demons strong enough
To beat the might of the hawks
I think they could if they defend
Mate like they did tonight
And put pressure on hawthorn
All through the game
Oh yeah it will promise to be
A ******* Jack of a ****** game

You see when you play around the street there are a group of people who want to play games with you
Like people who think it is normal
Play with other humans inappropriately like tying them up, forcing them to sneeze and pushing your hormones out of you by thinking of running after each other doing weird things to each other like other people chasing you knocking you over
People grabbing you and tying you up
Pushing you down saying it is normal to muck like this when you are young
Like get weird visions as I skull my water like my coke saying tie him up
Grab him push him around and pull his pants down and give him a wedgy
And say to him you are a loser baby
Why don’t you save me, and also as I sit there in my house I look up feeling dizzy feeling it is normal to tie people up and normal to sneeze up yucky mucus and it is normal play around in drains by pushing yourself through them with someone drinking beer cheering you on and pretending you are kidnapped or abducted in someone else’s house and the owner tells you to leave his property threatening to call your parents
And stealing a rope from Mitchell vinnies and tying yourself in the toilet pretending someone did this to you
I found it hard to lock myself in because the door wouldn’t allow it
It was my great imagination playing tricks on me like the witch family played tricks on Darren on bewitched
And eating pizza and fish and chips very fast and vomiting it up, and going to night clubs and drinking bourbon and coke and beer and having too much which makes you ***** and having something greasy for breakfast like McDonald’s which made me ***** and it made me not want to eat that crap again and swearing at your father saying I am cool man he said cool you I said cool me and then going to the club to have a beer and a packet of crisps which made me ***** so badly but I wanted to get out of this life, time to be an adult now get rid of my desires to drink and eat crap

A man stood over a disabled man in
A super market to ask him for
A cup of coffee and the second man didn't know who he was and
Told him the ******* and the man
Said please buddy I would like to have a coffee with you and the discord man said please leave me the tuck alone and threaten to thy is his wheel chair at him
And then he said, have a coffee with me you disgruntled koonarri
And the disabled man was offended and held on to the fruit
Cupboard and leaped out and and tossed the wheel chair at the
Man and says nobody calls me a koonarri and gets away with it
And the man stood up in the wheel chair and told another customer to not be scared but the other customer wanted to
Call for shop security because this didn't look good at all
And the disabled man said ok the games up give me back my chair and the man said no, you tossed it in my direction and the disabled man said yeah because you wouldn't take no for an snswer
And the man said you drink coffee and I am willing to give you a free one and the disabled man said yeah but I don't want to have a coffee and the police came and arrested the man and gave the other man his wheel chair back and the disabled man
All this fuss over saying no to his coffee incursion
The man was cursing
But never saw the disabled man sgain

A dis abled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing



You see disabled man just bludgers, and if any pretty young
Lady starts working to help them, they play with their hair
And quite often really annoys them, and it is not just because
They are playing with their hair, no they don't know squat
About how to get out there and actually work
Well, they will work, but in small lots and also
They will take days off to go to see parades
And then look at all the workers, saying
You stupid little ******, little fool
You are trying too ****** hard to teach us how to work
And you are making us laugh so hard
Of course whether he would say that, no one knows
Cause he is disabled, he doesn't really know any better
He thinks he is being cool with us
The best thing to do is have a lot of fun
And not get in the bosses way, at any time
Especially if the boss yells at them, or gets sick of them
Instead of keeping around them like them like a bad smell
Like the disabled man usually does, and let me tell you
He can display signs of anger and it often interferes with
Their work, and after that the disabled man
Will crack himself laughing if anybody was getting yelled at by the boss
Like he is in primary school, you know the way kids act when
You get in trouble with the teacher
The disabled man does work, but you know
Often they show limitations and also they are too disabled
To know why things happen, and I start to think, that
The reason why liberals hate disabled people
Is they can be angry little *****
When they ****** think they're right
The dis abled man will work but they still will act
Like a kid, when they are either told to clean up
Or go over the job again, because they are trying to tease
Yes,  dis abled men have no work ethics, still like school atmosphere, and
A disabled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing


Sent from my iPhone

C’mon kids let’s tease the koomarri man
They know it is wrong
Cause the man is disabled
And he is having problems
But who cares we should tease the koomarri man
I don’t know it’s wrong cause I am a kid and I don’t know much
I don’t know that these koomarri men live life to the full
They don’t know that they love being at the mall being cool they just look a bit different to the others, but that doesn’t mean they are, it is normal to enjoy a drink or enjoy mucking around at the mall without stupid bratty kids teasing them or bullying them, it’s wrong
Why did the kids do that
I was just a happy go lucky family person who enjoyed every aspect of life and is nothing that the kids will do to dampen my spirits, dudes

The day we got a discusting cat



You see when my grandmother lost her two cats
Named mitsy and Trudy, she was so devastated as can be
So my cousins Mark and David found a cat on the side of the road
And decided to give it to my grandmother
And mind you, it seemed a good idea
Yeah at first the cat looked very cute
But after a while it was horrible little thing
You see my brother picked it up
And it **** all over him and I was thinking serves you right for picking him up, mate
And then my brother put it down and went to the bathroom
And washed the smell out of his hands
And the cat tried to jump on me, but I said to the cat *******
You are a timid little beast, you deserve to be taken to the bush
And sent to greener pastures,
And yes, we'll sing born free to him
Or ding **** the cat is dead, you see
I **** on people and he scratched and bite
Yeah he was a horrible nasty, very discusting cat
And the moment we got rid of the cat, the family were saved
Thanks for small mercy's


Sent from my iPhone

I drink a coffee to keep you safe



You see Bobby Farmers, was a simple man
Who loves to drink coffee all day
He'll drink it at work, and he'll drink it at play
And drink it all ****** day
He will find two siblings who are awfully shy
And drink his coffee and make them sit next to him
And then if they did, they were like us
And they went home, they were so square
You see the sibling who was like us
Teased the square one day in and day out
And made them so angry, that he will punch him
Then he'll have another coffee and then another coffee
And they will get drink another to keep this dude with the family
And if either of them drifted away from family life
He will send a kidnapper over and he'll tell them to grab them
And they'll be pulled right into the car
While the kidnapper had this sibling, the man sat their drinking his coffee
And still treated him like a cool kid
Saying, mate, I am a man, and you are a kid
And your still getting teased even if I have to kidnap you to tease you
And I will mate, I am not a little shy boy, dude
I will kidnap you and you will be dead before nightfall
Cause you drink a coffee, to keep you away from the dangers of the world

Doing things for a friendship

You see I remember being in a room for 20 minutes as well as when I was in that room, I was threatened in there, I mean I was threatened with death threats, I was only 6, then my family wanted a better life for me and they took me to  the local showground for the annual show, and also we went on camping trips, not quite Brady bunch style, it was just family outings, learning about how to fend for ourselves, yes, life is so much better relaxing in a tent in the New South Wales bush, yes I say I was a real family person, yes, you can't keep me away oh no, but one dude was so jealous of our close Knit family we have, they want to crash right in, you see there was just one bloke, who had one mum two dads, but the dad he lived with was an old stick in the mud, yes, and he loved him to bits, but to me, you see, he was just a big brother to me, he was never a friend no more, in fact sometimes when I went through life, I felt there was a prowler after me, and he kept on being big brother, and said, you better not go out with those men, they're bad news, oh yes, they are, yes they are, when u heard that, I thought what a loser and I started to dress like them, with my motörhead singlet and my jeans with holes in the knees, yes, u felt really, really cool, this mate wasn't cool, no he wasn't cool at all, but he thought I didn't want the young dude look, but he didn't, I did, because I wanted to be a normal young dude, to have fun listening to heavy metal like alice cooper, poison, and AC/DC and even Twisted sister too, and that music was so cool, I wanted to be cool and have fun with my friends girlfriend and I had fun with her, and since then people asked me over to stay with them and I felt I was being kidnapped, because every time I wanted to leave, they said shut up little young dude as well as giving me **** in the pubs, but really, mate  at the time, I was unaware of what friends should do, you see all my life I am doing things for a friendship, oh well, it's all over now

Donald trump is a fool
Totally yes he is
He has stupid things to say
About covid 19
Yes Donald Trump ain’t cool
He just sticks up
To his republican mates
He doesn’t care oh no
You see he will think that Biden rigged
The 2020 election oh yeah
He refused to concede
Like a little child
Yes well stupid pain he is
Donald Donald Donald
Kevin ****** Wilson
Says his life is a reality tv show
He used to be on the apprentice
And I bet he was a pain on that
Cause Donald tromp is a fool
Mate jump in the pool
That will be better than you
Donald ya fool
Donald ya fool
Biden is better than you
Donald ya fool

hey donald trump, why are you thinking people w2ho get wounded in battle aren’t heroes

cause if you think your a hero, your a hero of nothing

because **** fanning battled a shark, mate, and he deserves a reward  

but you donald trump deserve nothing, nothing nothing

i have fought tooth and nail to prove that poor people have rights

and i ain’t into the army, but i know they are brave now here is we’re not going to take crap from trump anymore

ya know, when i first heard of him, i8 thought of professor plum or professor plunket

and you will never win my vote, if i was an American, no way hoi zei

i think i might spew, i think i might spew, i think i might spew on you trump, yeah

i disagree with your comment trump, nothing against you, just your comment

you sound so right wing, only allowing rich people honours

i ain’t into john mcCain either, but that is his views, and i hate your views even more

it makes people think you are crazy, a real crazy *******

people fight for the good of the nation , what do you do

i am designing homeless shelters, would you do that trumpet

i will party with all the poor people while rich snobs like trump wrecks the world with his selfish opinions

Hi Donald trump

What are you going to do for us now

Build a war to keep Mexicans out of the USA and we will live in harmony
Yes that sounds good

Yes, well Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, today rick Perry said I was the chosen one, god help the world we live in

Well, what is another thing you will do for us now, Donald trump
Well, I will extract a political favour from Ukraine in exchange for official acts

Ok well Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will surround myself only with the best and the most serious people

Well, ok Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will appeal to the Supreme Court especially when they rejected my offer, what a pain it was

Ok, well what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will restore an accused war criminal’s rank in the navy saying dangerous dangerous dangerous

Well, Donald trump what is another thing you are going to do for us now
Well, I will put 2020 before navy seals ha ha ha

Don Lane and Graham Kennedy entertain in the after life cafe




Don lane '.    Oh yeah I am putting on my top hat, and I also wear nothing else
Because I am dead now, and I don't have to worry about being appropriately dressed,
And I also have a lady sitting over at the bar, and she has great looking legs and *****,
I want to go over to her, hey lady, how are you going today
Lady'.  I am fine, and I am Marilyn Monroe
Don Lane'.   I would've loved to interview on my show
Marilyn'.  No, I heard the afterlife was a good place for me, I was famous in life, I don't want to be famous here.
Don Lane'.  Ok let's go to this table, I know you as well, refresh my memory
And yes Ricky May poured sixteen ice cubes all over Don and
Don said  well, obviously these people didn't want to be famous, ok, who are you
Man said'.  I am Don Bradman
Don Lane'.  You died before me, have you showed the afterlife how you played cricket
Don Bradman'. Yes, and we beat Saturn by 15 runs, and I finally averaged 100, it is pretty cool
Don Lane'.   Who do you play next
Don Bradman'.  Well this weekend we play the Martians from Mars
Don Lane'.  Well here is Graham Kennedy with his after life song
Well I said I wouldn't make it here
Because of the weird joked I told
And I thought the devil will own my soul
But I was stood up straight and tall
Felthad a weird beer up here, they call it AAAA
And I have always wondered since that say
What does the A mean
Then it hit me, oh silly me
The A meant Afterlife
And we are with Ricky May and Tony Grieg
And Don Bradman and Joh Bjieke peterson
Yes, this afterlife is so much fun with a AAAA in my hand,
Ok Don Lane let's parry in the afterlife
Don Lane'.  Ok thanks Graham, now here is Bon Scott with his after life song
The clouds are shaking
And the moon is rocking with the men who are put in there
To scare bad guys away from doing evil on earth
And yes, AC/DC are still going strong on Earth
And I am doing well up here , because it is so easy, man
To be fit and healthy up here, I said you
Shook the after life, all night long
Oh yeah baby, you
Shook the afterlife, all night long
Don Lane'. See you next time, bye

don’t be shy, mate, just party and be cool and don’t forget break no golden rule

don’t be shy to explain to your parents you like to party, despite them worrying

don’t be ashamed of the past mate, just party on till the day is long

don’t be shy if you ain’t strong, just enjoy life anyway,

don’t be shy if you ain’t mucking with your school friends no more, you should still be cool

look at me mate, i go to the poetry slam, i am having fun there, i am not shy

don’t be shy mate, if your mates taught you something that is daddyish take the i am not ya daddy like a man

don’t be shy mate, if people call you a woosey if you don’t like fighting, just ignore them

don’t be shy mate, if you have voices from your parents saying your still like us, remember

if you are doing what you like within reason, just have fun

don’t be shy mate, if you lost a relative and you hear them speaking from nirvana

don’t be shy, in everything you do

don’t be shy, mate, if you have problems talking you see, and people call you a woosey

just relax and take up writing for expression

don’t be shy mate, if people want to fight you, don’t be shy to back away, if you find that hard, just be cool

don’t be shy, to just relax, because remember you ain’t immortal and you ain’t perfect

so you give lousy advice and you give good advice, like in this little poem, i am not shy how it sounds

don’t be shy if you are battling voices, just use the negative voices to make a positive outlook

don’t be shy mate, if you felt like an animal, because you displayed no hunan qualities, you can still be human, ok don’t be shy

as long as you say, violence doesn’t solve anything don’t be shy to believe in that, ok

just be yourself like me, now, i ain’t living in the past, either should you, don’t be shy

if you want to be just like your daddy, NO, just be yourself because daddy’s give advice, they shouldn’t push you to be like them, ok

don’t be shy, be yourself

this is a true story about last wednesday night, STOP

i wish people would stop KNOCKING on my door at 2 am

in the morning because through those hours, i am sound asleep

and i don’t want to answer the fucken door to you

because people don’t have respect for other people

i am trying to sleep to sleep and i hear voices

of people knocking on my door trying to get in

and i don’t think people are trying to find out what i am doing

i was having voices of people saying i am easy-meat

but i am not easy-meat

i just don’t want to have strangers knocking on my door

can i have a smoke can i have a beer, and you will get high

or do you want to party, mind you i like partying, but i want to

i remember answering the door to a person in Newcastle

because he thought i was easy-meat

i don’t want to be known as easy-meat, i want to be known as strong-willed

and i was totally frightened but if i don’t answer the door

everything will be alright

if i hear the words easy-meat easy-meat, you are such easy-meat

I WILL SAY NO, i am not easy-meat and i prefer just to be treated like a man who loves life

cause i do love life, so, stop treating me like easy-meat

i prefer to help people in my own time

not at 2 in the morning, though

when i am trying to ****** sleep

and i would prefer not to be treated like easy-meat

cause i am not

I was walking down
The rusty road getting rust
On my rotten shoes
You see they were the kind of shoes
That wear in and out
You see lots of people
Who were those shoes
Rob from the Westfield shopping centre
It is awful how they do that
Really really bad
Were the worst thing they ever done
I will never do that
I am a cool kid, never urinate on fresh food
In a coles supermarket
He should be locked up
You see I should be locked in gaol
Or if there is any sign of mental illness
To the psych ward
You see why don’t the doctors and nurses
Take the cool kid out of them
And keep it in them
I always hated robbers robbing places
I will be scared if I had a home invasion
Because I was scared of Australia’s most wanted
So mate you need to stop committing crimes

I want o work
But people are trying to
Treat me like easy meat
Like one fucken **** tried
To get my bank details
And I stupidly gave them to him
Because he said he was from
ACTEW but I know now
And I will never make that
Mistake again
I should say that I might find it
Hard in a job because people
Will think I am easy meat
A target to tease
Once I gave a 14 year boy
A packet of smokes
And the owner of the shops
Was tearing strips off me
And the boy
Well he was just having fun
Teasing me
Like these stupid scammers on
Phone they here having fun
Teasing me too
Everyone is teasing me
Everyone is making my life
Difficult
I never get phone calls from
Friends just scammers
Never give your bank details
To scammers
They won’t get my money
Cause my account is frozen
Till I get a letter
But I heard so many people get caught up
Next time I say
I am mr gobbly goop
And I am the mayor
Of your fantasy planet you live in
Thru will never beat me
And tomorrow I wanna get up
To watch the marlins play
At 5am
Please leave me alone teasers

Be aware that
There are stupid dudes
Out there posing as the Australian government to tell people
They have got a tax refund
But they are just scammers after your money because all you really
Need to do, dudes is
Check your financial papers (mine is mygov)
To see if you have a tax refund due
If you don’t, oh well you know it’s a scam
Don’t fall for it, dudes
There is maybe no tax refund
From these people
They just want your bank details
So they can scam you out of
Lots of cash
Don’t fall for it
Money isn’t easy to get your hands on
Nothing is free
There is no such thing as a free lunch
Ok well I am saying
Don’t get scammed

You can’t please everyone
So you have to please yourself
As you do your work
It is weird you have to
Try to please every folk of this town and one is happy and the other is angry with what you did
And you sit there trying to please these people
But it is better to please yourself
As Ricky Nelson told you
That you can’t please everyone
So you have to please yourself
But it is hard to please everyone in this land because everyone is different the best thing to do is
Try and eat right and do your exercise and not try and please people it is impossible to please everyone, dude and then you get teased by the big young dudes, no just please yourself as it is almost nirvana in West Virginia and the buddhists who are supposed to respect each other are going home along the country road and you will find
It is mighty hard to please everyone, so please yourself dude

If you want to live man
Just do one thing man
And that is
Don’t smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Because if you do you’ll get cancer
Or something worst
Or emphasima or something fucken worst
If you keep smoking that cigarette
You see smoking stunts your growth
Smoking can slow your body down
It can make you lose your life man
If you keep smoking that cigarette
So if you wanna live man
Just do one thing man
And that is
Don’t smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
It tastes like dried ashes anyway
It gives you bad cancer and other things too
And if you smoke you might as well eat poison
I am glad they are cutting out smoking at the sport
And I am glad you can’t smoke on outside tables
If you wanna smoke mate
******* ******* ******* with that cigarette
Don’t smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
The old movie stars who like smoking
Died early oh yeah
And the ones that didn’t die
Gave up early man
Yes it is great they quit quit quit that cigarette
I used to smoke a pack of 50 a day
And the taste was bad I was losing my cool
Because smoking is bad
Don’t smoke that cigarette
Just quit like me
You will be happy as you know it
And we can clap our hands
After we stopped smoking that cigarette

You see in the days of the virus
It is ****** too hard to bare
We are missing a lot of things
Like footy and other sports oh yeah
But one thing we can’t go on
Unless you want to stay on it
Every night and day
Not doing anything but counting
How far we go
Oh yeah don’t take me on a sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
There is no chance to go on a sea cruise
If you do break the rules
You have to stay at sea
You feel like captain cook
Or even ****** well worst yeah
There is no entertainment
Just cooped up in your cabin
And if you go for a walk on the ship
You have to wear a mask
To stop Corona from spreading
Please don’t go on a sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
There is no chance to go on a sea cruise
Why does god do this to us
Cruises can be fun
With fun for all ages and
Lots of great food as well
But now we decided to enjoy
A lovely trip on the waves
But the biggest thrill now is if you
Cut yourself while you shave
They don’t have local tv
So you can’t watch the news
Unless you had internet
But still people break the rules
They leave the boat spread Corona
All over the fucken place
At the moment it isn’t the best thing
Is to go on a great sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
No more getting on a sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Yes it is best not to board a sea cruise just go home and party on
To YouTube music vids
And think about other people
And stay home if you are sick
Don’t go near the ruby princess
Because it is contaminated of Corona
People being told not to leave their cabins so the virus doesn’t spread
Just ****** well keep away from this sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Please keep away from our sea cruise
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Corona oh baby baby
Yes indeed don’t go on a sea cruise
PLEASE

Don’t try and change me
Every part of my life
Don’t try and make my poems better
Don’t try and stop me from enjoying family vlogs cause they are fun
Don’t try and change my chain of thought
I am a positive person who loves life
I hate people trying to change me
Trying to say my voices are true
Even the mental health dillusions
Please don’t try and change me
I am not you, I can’t be perfect
That is impossible to be perfect
I am trying as hard as I could to
Exercise right, I don’t want anyone
Who thinks they know me better
Than I know myself to dominate or change me
I might not want to do anything you want me too
Don’t try and change me
Sometimes in life you have to speak your mind
And I don’t want to make excuses
I just don’t want anyone to change me
Never never never my friend
I will say I am not you
I am me I am me
I have the answers about myself
Not you
So, mate don’t try and change me
Please stop trying to change me
If I get lightheaded it is what I say
Bit what you think
I know my body better than you
I know you don’t like bullying
But changing people is a form of bullying and I don’t approve
I have a mental illness
And I do believe I can get work one day
I do believe I can achieve me goals
And not the goals you give me and
Say they should be my goals
Please mate I don’t like people trying to change me
Just because I don’t look like I have good goals doesn’t mean my mind is muddled
I am not different in a queer way
I am different in a way that everyone
Is different in their own way
So don’t try and change me
I love life I care for people
Don’t try and be a part of everything I do because you worry about my lifestyle
That is changing people that is bullying
I hate that it drives me nuts
Don’t try and change me
PLEASE leave me alone

f you worry about how you used to act do your art
If you worry about how many people you ******* just do your art
If you worry you will be like ****** nanny
If you worry about how many people you ******* don'T dwell just relax and do your art
If you are stitching your problems out of you just do your art
Even if you makes me an old ****
If you worry about you ******* people off don't Dwell and just have fun
Doing your art

Hi Brian
Hi Don
How are you going
What have you been up to
You see I have 5 hours before my next bus driving shift, so I decided to visit you
Were there any trouble makers on the bud
****** oathe there was
What are you watching
Raiders on the iPad and border security
On the television
I think border security should keep you in this country forever
It looks like I have to wait for my next life anyway
Yes you need to
But I am thinking of joining the police academy
Lock you in the psych ward and cuff him
Your not a cool kid
I am not a kid I am a man
Well, that is a matter of wrong or right
Did you hear black caviar died
I bet on him so many times
And won a tonne of money
Yes it is sad eh
Very sad
I am taking a few people to the Melbourne cup
This year and unless I am told otherwise I am going to play some of black caviars wins on the radio or I might hook a tv on the bus
It will be a great thing to do eh
Yes people will enjoy it
Raiders down 12-0 against cowboys
They should have won it in 2019
Well that is a matter for the umpires to decide
I have to go now
See ya
See you don

Dos and don’t about life
Don’t get into any strife
Don’t fight with your wife
Be good be great be grand
Don’t listen to losers on the street
Don’t listen to hypoactive personal trainers
Never listen to the liberals
Never never never
Getting drunk on beer

It's a hard life for Dr Brife from the Buddhist temple



Dr Brife has just left Taibet to start up his own practice in Carlton in Melbourne, but the only problem is, that this hospital has just been reopened since the Coopers owned it back in 1991, and it has been given a facelift since that tragic bomb back then.
Dr Brife arrived there but amongst other things he decided not to say he was a Buddhist because most of the population is Christian and he feels that if he mentions his faith, he mightn't have a job very long, but, yes he was peaceful to everyone, no matter who walked through the door, on his first day he had a man who has alcoholic poisoning with not many days to live, and he asked Dr Brive if he can drink beer, becaus if he can't be saved, what 's the point of trying, at least he wanted to go out of this world having fun, and mind you when he says he wants to have fun, he is likely to have so many affairs, his wife and kids add them to the affairs about his will, saying which child will get which wife, none of them wanted these wives, but the eldest son wanted Teri Berger, because she was hot, but that just blew up in his face, and his next patient was Rob Parkin who was a retired doctor, and despite years of preaching to other people, he was so stubborn about his diabetes from too many candy bars, and Dr Brive told him that he must give them up or he will die, and the doctor told him to F off and then left without signing the piece of paper and Dr Brive said send out the bill, and his next patient was 11 year old Harry who at the age of 9 was diagnosed with cancer and he has been going to camp quality, a lot, and he has fun there, but today he was doing his kemotherapy and Dr Brive can't seem to find the cancer, and asked his old doctor for another opinion, because they did see the cancer before and Harry waited as they did tests and Harry was getting excited but Dr Brive said, don't get too excited, yet, because I haven't spoke to your doctor yet, and he knows more than me.
Harry waited for half an hour and then both doctors came in and Dr Brive showed his old doctor the chart and then showing him that there doesn't seem to be any cancer there.
Them Dr Brive asked where was his cancer located, and he said,,it was brain cancer, and yes, I can't seem to find it but I must check it a bit further, just to make sure it isn't going to find his way back, and then he checked and said, you haven't got cancer at the moment, but be careful, don't forget, your cancer looked to be hard to treat, so it could come back, I want you to visit Dr Brive once a week, just to make sure that it stays away, do you think you can do it.
Harry was so excited that his cancer has gone, from that day he wanted to have fun, meanwhile Dr Brive's next patient was Rita Hollingworth, and she has obesity, and she doesn't like doctors, even when they say that she is eating herself to an early grave, but Dr Brive didn't do that, in fact he was nice, and said the first step to losing weight is being treated like an adult, you see it keeps the peace and makes the big person feel grown up and motivated, and every day Rita would complain how downgrading the biggest loser is.
But Dr Brive said, just hang in there and remember to try to stop eating things you love instead of healthy food.
Dr Brive's next patient was also suffering from obesity but this lady also suffers from acute schitzophrenia and the medication that she was on made her fat, and she has no self esteem, and Dr Brive decided that really no one should be put on a un healthy medication and Dr Brive put hsr on another drug abs says we are slowly taking you off those awful hunger drugs and put you on Seroquel, and take 1 400 before you go to bed, and with everything going well, you should be feeling good again soon, and that was the end of Dr Brive's first day and when he finished he went to the Buddhist shelter and meditated for 1 hour, and after that went home to play Buddhist music in his garage, and the whole street liked him and wanted to hear his music as if it brought everyone closer to their Buddhist soul, which is the soul that travels between lives.

Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink all his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the vb
Sink it down for me me
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink all his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the Carlton
Get drunk on it and sink it
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of the tooheys
Oh man I feel like a tooheys
Get totally ****** you see see
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of XXXX
Get totally ****** while having ***
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
Dr drinkerbocker drinkerbocker
Number nine
He will drink his beers in time
Let's get the rhythm of Hahn lite
We must drink it down like we can fight
Wobble waddle drop drop drop
You see dr drinkerbocker will drink all this just to get drunk

Performing on Saturn

Hi dudes and dudettes
Welcome to Saturn club rings and today we are playing poems and songs that will make you feel really cool
The first song is the west coast eagles victory song
We are the eagles
The west coast eagles
We are the ones who won that game
You see we have the power
To win the big game
Go the eagles who are one win away
You see with the eagles
The west coast eagles
Yes we are powerful
End tonight we will be in the club
To sink down a few cleansing ales

Yes that was a cool song and now here is our second song which is called hey dude what are you on about
You see when I was a partying
In the cold of this city
I see people trying to get me in
To their little gang oh yeah
I told them I didn’t wanna be in their gang but they said you are joining us oh yeah
I tried to wriggle out of it
It isn’t what I am into, no
Because I am into partying in a different way
Then these thugs came up to me
And said these little words
Hey dude, what are you on about
Then I went to the football club
To watch the very important match yes that makes me feel so divine
And my dad said yes your majesty when I told him what to do is was as if I didn’t know what to do
You see back then when I was a hooligan a ***** rotten hooligan
I found it hard to think what the **** was going on
Then these dudes said to me
Hey dude what is going on
Partying in the club is cool
And they really break no flaming rule you see god isn’t up there anymore because the bible was absolute ******* when they tell you everything that is in it
Hey dude what is going on

Thank you and that was a great song and our next song is yes your majesty
You see when I was young I told my family to say what I wanted them to say
Like you say heavy metal is cool
You say Martin Luther king had a dream
You say who is going to win the footy
You say you say you say
Dad goes yes your majesty in a very posh way
Yes your majesty after I say you say
Yes it is cool in many ways
Dad goes yes your majesty
Every fucken day
After I say you say
I told him, no I am not the queen
And I am no king either
I just want you to say
That I am the best
Just say west coast are the best well, dad just said yes your majesty yes you flaming majesty after I say you say
Yes your majesty every single day

That was a good song and now it is time to party with me
We drink taquila and bourbon yeah
We drink beer and wine for you
We get high on mariguana as well as *******
Yes it is time to party oh yeah we say
You say party time is here
Yes your majesty
You say get down and boogie
Yes your majesty
You see you can see me in my party clothes
Yes and my nanna is having a doze
Drinking beer to past time
I say fun you say cool
Yes your majesty I say what I want
I am a tool and a ****
Who loved life every day
Party party party mate
Party with a how’s it going mate
Get down with a bit of methane
Yeah mate yeah time to play

What a song and now here is winning the final

It is mighty hard to win a final
Especially when both teams want to be there
And the crowd yell out forever
Yeah mate yeah
When I get up this morning.
I will watch the Canberra afl grand final
Who the ******* will win
Well it will be close and it will be fun
How many people will turn up
It will be hard for both teams
Cause winning this grand final
Is what each team wants to do
Gets out there to score a goal
Goal goal a pretty good goal
And west coast are one win away of a grand final after coming back on Collingwood
With the McGuire family cheering on the pies but when west coast won yippee I ay
It was a shame that the swans are no more this year but Sydney still has a representative
There let’s hope they win
Go the demons beat the hawks
Don’t move don’t you dare squawk it will be hard oh hard to win that match so just get your ticket yes mate, clear the pickets welcome to Australia Britain or France going to this party in just my underpants
And you feel pretty cool as your favourite team wins the all important final oh yeah

Goodbye, time to go must get up to watch the Canberra afl
Go ainslie

i got up, after a dream of distraction


ya see i was having fun throwing methane smoothies on dad

trying to get rid of his old man look, so his next life can be superb

you see, as i was up there, i heard paul berenyi, say

i wanna beer with brian, i wanna have a beer with him

because we have chucked too much methane on my dad

his past living, will be dead ya see

then up came the mafia, and took me aside

and said to me, stop protecting ya daddy

or we’ll never protect you

you see i poured more methane on dad, yeah

i found that sort of rad, and other people said i was crazy

and i hate that word oh no

i would love to have a beer with brian

cause i think he’ll be rolling in dough

then the mafia said, ok, let’s take brian allan to the guest home, that’s cool

drinking with brian is cool yeah, and it breaks no rules

i am a family person, but people like me better as a hooligan oh yeah

because i wash my hands clean od all that nonsense of the past

but if ya want me to bring it back, your a flaming fool

asi tipped methane on top of dad and said go home, ya old fogie

the mafia went up to me and tipped a gallon of methane on me

to **** me telling the streets my previous life story

so they can plan or attack each person at random

i am not surprised i have come second class

i was stuck in a HOTEL singing i just haven’t met you yet

ya see everyone says, you must get up and say, gett the world

and leave brian, and anyone who has become his mate

mind you this causes an uproar with all the people who went to

the woden special school in the 80s, who met brian, and teased brian, badly

and each mate went up to brian, and said brian we just teased you

brian said i am not a freak, i don’t appreciate being called a freak briand said

and his mates said, how does it feel being called something you hate, brian

brian said, when i was young i was trying to be a little cool kid, to all my matea

so stop calling me a freak, looking like me, to scare me, ya ****

and they said, mate, we hate you brian, cause you used to **** ya pants

even though kids are inexperienced and i don’t **** my dacks as an adult

so leave me alone, i am a queer person, but the fungus on feet, isn’t that bad

it’s only the young dudes, who don’t want to catch diseases, they should get a life

that is what kids said in my generation

my feet are alright, ok, i don’t think it’s bad fungi

but i really can’t sit down for long enough to bathe my feet

what with my tapestries, and writing, and my mind races

i would want athena to rid it from up there

you see athena has fixed my mouth, so i don’t need to see a dentist

so brian, save the last dance for me, yeah, i am your best dream

julia clarke, i never liked ya at school, because you were with the nerds

i need athena, to rid my fungi and make me feel great by room to move

i still don’t think i am old enough for feet bathing athena

how would ya feel if you had ya old fogie squirted like ya dad

LEAVE YA DAD ALONE, OK, HE’S BETTY CAMPBELL

Y, and a b for *******, the two little idiots



Y stands for YMCA
The ****** Christian *****
And every day they go around
And support each other,,oh yeah
Yes, it's so cool to see these people show off
You see the big boss from the YMCA
And the b for ******* which hang around at the club
And they drink their VB, as well as the Carlton draught
And also a tooheys blue ad well
And also have a nice cold XXXX
Watching the skateboards of the tele
Then after that, they head to the pub
And go crazy on all that beer

I want to have a drink with the bulldogs because of their great premiership win
You see they never gave in against the swans and I guarantee that at the party they will get rolling drunk
And say to Sydney go and suckeggs
I know I go for Sydney but the bulldogs deserved that win oh yeah
I will love to have a drink the bulldogs because they deserved their win
I will love to have a drink with Vance joy as he opens up the party with some very good singing and everyone in the crowd are partying with him
All over the flaming MCG
You see the bulldogs are the champions of the year 2016
Now let's see how good they can defend their mighty premiership in the next year
I would live for a drink with the bulldogs and party with them oh yeah and I wanna say to them bulldogs fight and bulldogs roar let's do our very best to party all night on October 1 with the team of the mighty west
You see my late father really loved to see the underdogs win
And at the end of the night he would love to have a methane smoothie with them after the Saturday party is over
You see I would love to have a beer with the bulldogs
Because they are the underdogs
You see let's congratulate the team from the bulldog breed
The team from the mighty west
Get drunk buddy

You see where did I get the inspiration to play the coopers
And play livestock
Avoid doctors and vets
Well there could be many reasons but if you look at my previous life story you will see
I was doctor and surgeon John
Hawker English who was born in 1788 and died in 1840 and in that time I won awards as well as saving lives of all the people who passed through the hospital doors and every October the hospital ran it's very own chess tournament and John hawker English won 5 years of the tournament and
Also John was a mad religious freak who every Sunday went to church to meet up with the congregation and listen to the sermons, his biggest job was the postman who came off his bicycle in 1806 and without all the modern technology of today John had to work on saving the postmans life and it took him about 3 days and 2 operations and by all means it nearly killed him but he survived it and in 1812 there was this drinking ***** being brought in with a heart attack
And needed a quick bypass
But this was going to be hard and then in 1801 there was a
Accident with a horse and Cart
With school kids on it crashed into the English Channel and John was having a hard time saving all the kids and he saved 80% of the kids with 4 little girls was washed out to sea and died
And John was being yelled at by the 4 children's families
There were more emergencies
And the town had mix reactions
About john's way he handles the operations but on John's death bed John hawker English said people die and sometimes you can save them unfortunately you can't save everyone and then he died

you see just because you suffer from bad teeth and need to see dentists a lot of your time, it still can just mean you are reforming your body, like i have an infection in my mouth which is totally powerful and i am taking cephalexin every 12 hours till the capsules will run out, and if you pay attention to that, you can live longer, and i am not
saying in one life, like you need to drink coca cola to improve your cosmic energy
you need to eat junk food, because it helps you understand how healthy you are
you need to understand buddhism, right, so if you look after yourself right, without
worrying about your past health issues, you can have a healthy future life pattern
and improve the quality of your life, you see the world will be better if people didn't obsess about weight loss, and when they get an ache they say, why is god hassling me
no, the only way for people being turned into robots, is for people to understand each
other, we still have a long way to go, my dad's next life is a girl, but i reckon she is healthy because dad was healthy cosmically, you are not healthy if you think boys are better than girls but it's good to have a joke about it, that is healthy
i am on seroquel and serenace as well as this new drug, i believe in taking prescribed drugs because it helps with the future cosmically, and force me to be very fit
they said i might need to go to hospital if i have drowsy eyes, but he has to say that, because it is his job, i find out, if i take this medication by the right dose, it'll run smoothly, and athena is the god of love and war, the war on people suffering health problems and love being the idea of helping in this field of expertise

On a nice winters day Brian allan went to a vinnies reunion in the blue mountains and Brian bought 3 24 packs of beer which he planned to hide and drink himself, and when Brian got there he sat next to Iris who talked about how good the right wing parties are and Brian said if I wanted help it wouldn’t be from those right wing people and David came up to Brian and said remember don’t be crude
You don’t say root, you say ******, it is a much better word and David said, my best part about life is watching the brumbies play and Brian agreed with him and opened a can of beer and skulled it down real fast, and then opened a 2nd can and Brian’s dad said listen Briany don’t drink too many and Brian got really cranky and told his dad to drop dead and Elizabeth came up to Brian and said Coca Cola and lollies are no good for you, and either is beer, and another thing too we aren’t allowed to have beer at this party and Brian cracked a phat at Elizabeth and opened another beer, but still Brian kept it hidden and Joan told Brian if you keep drinking beer you will be kicked out and Brian went over to the band and danced to the music in a wild way and dad said, he has a mental illness and he really thinks it is cool to get drunk and then Clare came up to Brian to say to stop drinking and Brian said ‘leave me alone’ and pulled 6 beers out of the stash and drink them near the trampoline saying right wing people don’t like drinking and they don’t really think I am cool and I will make a mess of this blue mountains village and really curse at each person who gets in my way, Patricia k said to me give up beer and I said get a life and cursed and cursed and really cursed, and David said, you were such a nice boy, I want you to give up drinking the forbidden beer and after those beers he secretly got more beers but Brian couldn’t handle the beers and lashed out at everybody and Iris said we need to say goodbye to Brian, he is too drunk and when they told Brian to leave he cursed really loudly at all of his friends and Clare and David picked Brian up and threw him out and then locked the door and Brian cursed loudly wanting the rest of his beers but they pretended not to listen to him and Brian was walking drunk right to the nearest bus stop to the city and there were a bunch of kids picking on Brian said loudly leave me alone, I was kicked out of a party I was invited to and I really liked those people and the kids said you are too drunk ‘loser’ and the bus came and Brian and the kids got on and Brian was thinking when he got to the city he needs to go to a hotel to recuperate before he went home and when they got to the city the kids got off at the same stop as Brian and stole all of his money and tied Brian up in the drain pipe near the subway and Brian didn’t notice it at first but when he woke up he found himself tied to the drainpipe and a young 14 year old boy saved Brian and helped Brian get home but Brian needed a hangover cure and the 14 year old said just drink 6 up and gos and it worked, Brian felt much better and suddenly Brian felt better and the 14 year old bought Brian his ticket and Brian said thanks and went home, everything was great till 3 weeks later when the 14 year old came to Brian’s house to get his money back and Patricia b gave Brian the money to pay him back and Patricia b said, no more drinking it isn’t right for you
And they lived happily ever after till Brian had another drink 4 years away hopefully

Different Strokes reunion at the love planet, formerly Pluto


Gary, Conrad and Dana
You see our world has moved
From earth to flying around in space
For it might sound alright with you
But us dudes, didn't want to die
And now we are dead. There is nothing we can do
We can't be seen on earth you know
Because our lives down there are gone
You see we have different strokes, and you know
Different homes, yes, oh dude, different strokes to rule outer space
You see we're flying around, and we are invisible
We're flying without a care in the world
And those people who want us back on earth, we we belong
We just say, we are dead now, and that is not good at all
You see, we have different strokes you know
And different folks too, different strokes to rule, yes we'll rule
Different strokes to rule outer space
Dana'.  Yes it's great to perform on the love planet, it's so comfortable, don't you think Gary
Gary'.  Yes, it's cool and one other thing, what are you talking about Dana
Conrad'.   Hang on you two, we have reunited with one another, and Todd Bridges is the only one alive on earth, and we need to keep him away from harm, so let's sing another song
Dana, Gary and Conrad'.   You see when Willis Jackson real self was on drugs
I was so upset, oh yeah I was
Because we thought he was killing himself
And we would miss him so much
He can't hear us now, but we can stop him from doing this kind of harm to himself
And that's keeping Todd in the loop, about who loves him
You see he has his family, but we are family too
So whaddaya are ya talking about Todd Bridges
When you go back to drugs, ok see you all next time


Sent from my iPhone

I need a hand dude
Do you boo
Boo his go away
You see you need to get a life
Stop fighting with your wife
But overall you need to have fun
You need a hand dude
Do you boo
Everyone thinks I am cool
I break no rule
You seem to have a lot of fun
Yes kicking people up the ***
I need a hand dude
Don’t you boo
I could be saying don’t chew
Because I used to chew my shirt
I took a while to stop pooing my pants
But I am cool I break no rule
I need a hand dude
I break no rule
Do you boo
Boo his you are dumb
You see everyone likes us
We have fun
You need a hand dude
Do you boo
God exists any old how
Even if you feel he doesn’t
It is just religion mate
A very touchy subject
So do you need a hand
To go out with your mate
Hey how’s it going
Duuuuuuuude
Don’t be rude
Be nice have fun
Don’t say you are a lost cause
Just have fun
Oh yeah bow bow kick up the ***
You see this time next year
I would like to lose my boring me
And look like I am having fun
Doing what I wanna do
Because I lost 80 kg
And I got my hand dude
I am not rude
I could be sometimes in the ****
I definitely need a big hand dude
No more being rude
No more being called boo
None of this your like me and mummy crap
You see that makes me feel
Like a very big sap
My name isn’t boo
I am not the angry chant
When something goes wrong
I try not to pong
I need a hand dude
No more boo
No more being rude
No more being in the ****
Yes I feel cool
This time next year
I want to lose my boring me
And look exciting

you are so dumb indeed

you want the chance to be free

everyone in the cosmos cheers for me and mummy

to beat this world indefemtly

god is just a cause to worry

mainly brought out by the fear of your parents

you see i can say shut up dummy

and you will listen unless you are square, yeah

dummy dummy you are a little dummy

you have no brains unless it is in your tiny toe

i am a man who loves life, i am not a dummy, mate

i want to liver life to the full

but instead you put me in front of that bull

and say sit there dummy, let the bull attack

i say no, don’t let him leave the rack

i am a technology ****

and i just vomited **** in the toilet, discussing, hey

hey hey hey is in the paddock where the horses are

but it might be in your mouth when you are trying to be a conservative ****

i hear dad say, shut up dummy, but i prefer to be a cool cat

yeah, dudes, lets party on

in every club in this god forsaken town

you say shut up dummy as much as you like

you know way back in the olden days when i wanted my mates to call me spike

i will get on the poetry slam stage and grab the mike

and read the poem with shut up dummy in my head

i don’t want it, i don’t want it, leave me alone

neh, he will say, as he wants to sit there saying yeah mate continuously teasing all night

i know you are saying shut up dummy oh yeah

but you must remember i am a person oh yeah

i don’t want you to go yeah mate continuously mate, and i don’t want to get callas dummy

but i still hear the words shut up dummy and yeah mate

i have no idea why it’s in my head, i just think it’s because i am a techno ****

shut up dummy stop teasing me, man

causa i am the coolest dude in the land

easter dancers

we are the easter dancers, the mighty easter dancers

we will dance for you, and give you eggs as well

we love the easter eggs we give, they make people wanna really live

let’s celebrate the resurrection with some of our famous easter eggs

i got a little chocolate rabbit, and a footy size easter egg

and some creamy easter eggs for fun, yeah

that sounds so ****** sweet

happy easter to you and to you and to you

happy easter to you and to you and to you

gather round at the easter egg hunt

searching for eggs your father had laid

and grab some chickens and chocolate rabbits too

ya see as i pinched the bunnies tail, oh wow mama, i go

and she said back to me

happy easter to you and to you and to you

happy easter to you and to you and to you

easter bunny, oh yeah easter bunny

leaves your easter eggs at the door

for rob and barry and mike and simon

and most fabulous mate paul

easter bunny oh yeah easter bunny

the easter train is coming, yeah

all aboard the easter train

the hot cross buns for morning tea, at half past 10