hi dudes




i am enjoying watching neighbours at the moment because it teaches that people don’t trust

anyone who ever messes with kids, yeah, i dealt with it, i didn’t know it at the time but i dealt with it

at the time i thought they were rich ****** but i have to be careful as i can’t seem to get past this

i am just in the same boat as steph, you see she was worried about losing her son, and me, i wanted

to be with the cool kids down the mall, now, dudes, i haven’t caused many problems lately and i am ready

for and nonsense teasingt, i think that neighbours is being thorough in showing how people who hassles

children get treated, once a man looked at me weird just for sitting next to his daughter and he said mate

kids are innocent and then said i know all about ya, it taught i will never be a father or family man and people

tell me to stop looking at their babies, with the words, get ya fucken eyes off my baby, when i ain’t looking at their

fucken baby, young teenagers tell me to stop staring, but they just don’t want me staring, i don’t think they knew me

but steph is being tortured in her mind by situations that make her crazy, especially when you can’t change the past

and steph, as well as me, should be left alone to get better, you see what these people who tease you don’t realise

is, steph as well as me are dealing with, finding it hard to get past their past, especially when i was being teased like

being given wee, nobody wanted to party in nightclubs with me, or a goofy friend with anger management issues,

you see i am never going to have kids

nobody wants me because i am ugly and they can’t trust me

it’s worst for steph cause her issues with kids were close to her

you see i got grabbed outside the charnwood inn and i ran through civic saying FUCKEN STOP HASSLING ME

steph is feeling the same way, but she hears green sleeves, over and over and dudes, she is getting teased by a ****

yeah you heard me right, A BIG RICH ****, she got a phone call saying it was charlie, but it appears not, and then

another woman who is also is a BIG RICH ****, had a son Charlie, and she said she wanted the extra and then

she came back and said she never asked for it, and there was no Charlie, and yes, she was a BIG RICH ****, don’t ever

think that kind of teasing is cool, because it ain’t, remember what hannah montana said, everybody makes mistakes

everybody has those days, and NOBODY’S PERFECT,   you see i would like to see steph do a bit of buddhist positive suffering

to show the world, how many problems the mentally ill deal with each today, if she loses her job, who cares, it teaches the crowd that

mentally ill people are just getting treated like hobos, you see, ya know, no matter what i did, people do many worst  things than me

like armed robberies, and some people **** kids, me or steph never killed them, you see if we saw steph suffer a bit on the show

it teaches the world how awful people who have a mental problem and a past have to deal with it, you see my writing is good

still mentally ill, my art is talented, still mentally ill, i get reviews i don’t like i a man said i was ******* but i think my shows are cool

and i have a very chronic mental illness, perhaps i have to wait till my next life to get jobs or have fun with kids, oh well,

but i am grateful to channel 10 are using steph to show how mentally ill people suffer

i know what i did, but i am doing art and theatre go to poetry slams do shows on youtube

go to the christmas carols watching parades on youtube, and i helped mentally ill people have a meal when the BIG RICH *****

have forgotten about or teasing, you see the country we live in don’t give a flying **** about the mentally ill, the teasers start the problems

of the person by doing a harmless little tease, only to BIG FAT RICH *****, steph from neighbours is the mentally ill’s skate goat

my advice to you, don’t go to people’s homes  all it might send your voices going haywire, i am happy that channel 10 is using steph

to show the world what mentally ill people are going through, and instead of seeing steph go back to the psych ward, how about

the world gives her a case manager and loads of activites like bowling and golf, they do it on the family sitcoms, i just am so tired of

channell 10 are so blind when it comes to mental illness, the mentally ill need community care on the show neighbours, ok

you see i fear the hooligans of this town are doing to me like i did to dad

you see i hated what i did as a child, because everyone was nice except

the bullies who bullied me to get posers out of my television guide

even if it ruined my guide, I don’t want people bullying me in that way

you see young dudes watch TV and adults out for walks

well young dudes go fro walks occasionally and i am in young dude heaven

you see people are trying to pump my body up to make me fight them

I don’t believe in violence and i don’t believe in mucking with cowards who want to fight

you see dudes, i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

you see i hate being told to stop looking at someones baby

especially when i ain’t really looking, and i hate being forced to fight the hooligans

who pick you on the the street and start bullying you for no apparent reason

you see dudes i am a reformed man now, I hated what the men used to do to me

I would hate to be treaed  like my mate because he is such a loser and he is so negative

and he probably brought it all on himself but i don’t want to be treated like him

especially when i am a nice person and i don’t want people to bully me

i had too much of that bullying in school and at the LETS course

and i remember being bullied at fyshwich TAFE, i just want people to leave me alone

whether i can fight or not, I don’t want to fight, so stop trying to fight me

you see last night i heard dad coming into my dream trying to explain exactly what he was doing

but i said, dad work on Betty, because i was just trying to be a normal kid

who was suffering through bullying all my childhood years

well, i might not have showed it, but i hated giving up my posters and i hated being with Lyle

you see he had anger management issues and i hated giving up all my money to Paula

mind you i like helping the poor, but i don’t want to be forced to, only when i have enough money

I hate when the poor drunken louts of this town treating me like a man to bully

if i don’t pay attention, and i hated being tread like a hooligan who has to be an on looker

i prefer if people would stop trying to pulley me, i don’t believe in bullying or kidnapping

I feel people are trying to keep me with the losers and if i don’t go near the losers

like the poster boy and Paula the lady asking for money

I hate being asked for money, I wish i had money, so i can be famous

I hate when people laugh at me, i have been laughed at all my life

I don’t want people to treat me like a little shy boy, or a target to tees

you see they are little wooseys for life, you see i love life

I love life more that any of these mates, ever did, and if i wanted to **** myself i would have done it now, I am not shy

i just don’t want the people at the mall to keep fighting so close to me, fighting is for the hooligans and i am not a hooligan

I was a nice boy at school and i didn’t believe in violence or bullying in anyway

If i could have that time all back, I would say NO, because i hate when people treat me like a ****** push over

i am no push over, and i wish people would leave me alone and stop treating me like a man to a fight

fighting is for the pits,and i don’t believe in violence in anyway

i prefer to be in young dude heaven which is with people who would treat me like a normal person

the truth of the past with my thoughts


i remember when i was getting drunk with beer

and my mate lyle was saying my beard doesn’t suit me

but what he really meant was drinking beer doesn’t suit me

because i get too drunk

so he bullied me all the way to the train

he did mean that beer doesn’t look good on me

but he said my beard doesn’t suit me cause he ain’t my daddy

then a man in melbourne said just because you have a beard doesn’t make you a man

but he meant just because you drink beer doesn’t make you a man

young dudes used to call me woosey but they wanted me to stand up to them

so i could get bullied all my life, well, i don’t want to get bullied because only school kids bully

you see i stopped drinking beer but i kept my beard because a beard helps me be a sophisticated writer and artist

and i look good at the poetry slam with a beard, yeah lyle was right, beer isn’t the right drink for me

i prefer cocacola, i know it rots your teeth but it tastes ****** great, dude

beer isn’t a good look for me

my beard suits me down to the ground

just because you drink beer doesn’t make you a man, i could be a cool person who drinks coke, i love my beard

beard = the bushy thing on my chin, it suits me to a tee

jingle splat, christmas song



jingle splat jingle splat

splatting all the day

falling on a nice cream pie

cheering all the way

jingle splat jingle splat

cheering for the mob

oh yeah, the big party dude

splatting all day long

you see on christmas eve

2 fat people have a dance

lifting up their body yeah

just to go splat on the floor

then they got right up

after 5 minutes on the ground

and then some cruel teasers said

they were the fattest people in town

ya see we go jiggle splat jingle splat

all over the dance floor, yeah

ya see we wanted to be thin my friend

but the forces of evilly made us fat

a day or 2 ago

we drank 2 bottles of egg nog oh yeah

and we got as drunk as skunks

and boy, our bellies were growing a lot

and we could hardly  see our toes

as we ate the christmas cake

and then 2 ladies walked right past them

and they were as skinny as a rake

we go jingle splat jingle splat

all over the ****** floor

but we were so ****** fat

we could hardly fit through the door

jingle splat jingle splat

christmas day is near

this is the day, we splat around ya know

eating fatty food all the day

i was going to watch the cavalry on youtube but the stream was awful, dude

so  i tried and tried to get it right, but i know it was my father saying be like us man

i eventually got sick of it, so i turned the whole stream off

and put a really cool band on called the scorpions yeah

you see in those days rock music rules supreme, better than the army ever ****** could

and the young ones was the best show as they were making fun of right wing *****

now i left a message on the message bank saying that the bandwidth was cool

hoping that sometime into the night i will be able to view the end of the baseball

i am seeing my old school mates being little cool kids to my dead dad

they are saying it’s not music brian it’s sport but i like music as well as sport

i know my mum is currently at church, worshipping her false idol

but that’s alright because, cool dude, i like christmas too

you see the scorpions are the best band to rule the earth

better than malcolm turn bull, the stupid ****** ****

my dad wants to squeeze me into his little world

because i tiold him i believe in the cosmos

you see dude i am fighting my way through this world

to get what i want in the next life

i don’t like the voices i am getting

with robbers killing me with my mother

i want to live a long life in this life,  to find out what the bother

i drink coca  cola to improve my next life, yeah

i am a heavy metal poet, to ever go to a poetry slam

bad slam no biscuit, bad slam no biscuit bad slam no biscuit

i don’t care if i am hanging around with oldies

i want to watch the cavalry but if the stream is bad, i don’t want to be like nanny

mind you nanny is john robert rimel, now, but she, oops he is still creative though

but i can guarantee that he doesn’t watch crap like days of our lives

please save me from this moment i am having a creative life

and whatever i will be tomorrow depends on what buddha wants for me, cronus, yeah

so i will party on, i will party on like tomorrow will  never come

live for today and let your future life heal to make tomorrow very radically awesome, heh

briano alliano performs on venus party trap




oh yeah, bow bow come on and party on, oh yeah

get down and party and listen to everyone saying hey dudes lets party on

move on toward the next day, partying is so much fun

we get out the methane smoothies and spray it all over the dead up here

you see if you are sitting in the bedroom feeling like a hooligan

just go to bed and join me in the venus party trap and sing

we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas from everyone here

you see the videos on youtube a crackling up, but it sometimes shows a good effect

like it keeps pausing and you see the picture looking fantastic, oh yeah bow bow

you see people drinking alcohol very slowly, oh yeah, dude

you see i am a family person who loves to party, party party won’t stardy

move me, oh yeah won’t you move me

i watch all sorts of shows on youtube like entertaining christmas tree lighting ceremonies

and i try and watch stop start halloween parades on youtube, it’s got a good effect

and that is the methane dripping down on brian allan’s computer

you see i feel like someone is trying to keep with the young dudes

despite me liking what i had when i was a kid

i liked when young dudes would show me a picture, and slow it up and blow it up

and that is the reason why computers break up, but it looks cool

and then a voice comes up and says your just as messed up as the rest of us brian allan


and now here is another song titled let it shine, a copy of the christmas song let it snow

the weather outside is wonderful and the sun is so cool, yeah

and i don’t know which way oh yeah, let it shine let it shine let it shine

the bbq is slowly dying and the firemen says we have a fire ban

yeah we could blame the sun, instead we go let it shine let it shine let it shine

santa swimming in the beach enjoying his life yeah, oh yeah he hates leaving the sea yeah

the kids are enjoying santa swimming in the surf but they want santa to deliver his presents everywhere

and the men lift their beers and say, let it shine let it shine let it shine

we finally entered the pub, you see santa was there saying it’s too hot to go out in the sun

and then some drinkers came up to him and said, you must go out cause the kids are waiting for you

so santa finally left the pub and went out to every computer in the land delivering presents to everyone

and one family in kalgoorlie decided to leave santa a nice cream bun

and as santa did his run, he said let it shine let it shine let it shine

you see he flew all over Australia dude saying ** ** ** to you and as the sun was going

the sun was gone and despite us wanting it to shine, dudes, it wouldn’t and afterwards he delivered his presents

saying GOODBYE AUSTRALIA, i enjoyed swimming in your pools, oh yeah

ok, dudes and now here is another song titled i was a hooligan but not anymore

you see i went out and destroyed the earth and touched up people yeah i was bad

i want to get reformed, but i hear voices from people saying they don’t want me to get reformed

i know my old mates say my beard doesn’t suit me, but it does suit me

it makes me look like a writer and artist and it makes me enjoy my life oh yeseree

you see i love the idea of drinking and i love the idea of destroying lives of old conservos, kick ‘em up the ***

i want these voices to go, but instead i get ***** trying to get rid of the parties next door

i said, you idiot, i want my voices that only i can hear out of my head, yeah i am schizophrenia

i want to hear parties next door, to drown out the voices in my head

but there is another way, i need to relax and take my medication

and sing away in a manger no crib for a bed the little lord buddha lays down his sweet head

the stars in the bright sky look down where he lays, the little lord buddha asleep on the hay

and that means buddha is a reincarnation of jesus

and then we sing silent night holy night all is calm and all is bright

round yon ****** mother and child, holy infant tender and mild

sleep in nirvanly peace man, sleep in nirvanly peace

and after my medication gets rid of all angry thoughts and angry feelings

yeah maybe showing me the little girl that the boys were protecting me from

mainly because i am not a little girl, i am a man, but i don’t want to be an angry man

a ray of hope glitters into the light and a glimse of buddha shining into the night

and that is when  a child is born

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh

jingle bells bat man smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got away

you see people think i hated my life in the 80s, i HATED THE TEASING I HATE HOW PEOPLE THINK I PREFER TO DO NOTHING

I LIKE DOING STUFF, i hate how people thought i never liked being creative, i love it

ok dudes, now it’s time to go, goooooodbye

Briano Alliano performing at jupiter moon



hi dudes and welcome to Jupiter Moon and today christmas has come early

with a whole lot of funny christmas carols that i have wrote and the first one

joy to the world


joy to the world

christmas is great

a bumper holiday, i say, mate

you see we have roast dinners

and pavlova and fruit punch

and a mighty tasty super slush

tasty for the mouth, tasty for the mouth

tasty tasty, tasty for the mouth

i rule the world with my magic wand

i wave it when i feel great

hills and plains and rocks and streams to sit and have a look

at the wonderful water, at the wonderful water at the at the

wonderful water, oh yeah, you can almost taste that wine that

jesus turned it into

joy to the earth, oh jesus birth

thanks to the might of cronus

you see as his arrival into the world made everyone happy yeah

we sing the beautiful carols we sing the beautiful carols

we sing we sing we sing the beautiful carols

with all our pride,

ok dudes, that was a great song and here is my version of christmas bells are ringing

marshmallows and flavoured milk

oh what a wonderful sight you see

opening christmas presents

underneath the christmas tree

there are gifts for uncle Tom and uncle Jay

and each kid gave each present a little play

they sang carols like deck the halls

and away in a manger, silent night and joy to the world

and then out came the fruit punch we all can share

we go

ding a ling ding a ling christmas bells are ringing

oh yeah let’s party on christmas day is coming

the party is on for young and old

then mrs ratcombe came out

we thought ‘what a mole’

ding a ling oh yeah let it ring

the christmas bells are ringing

ding a ling, oh yeah it will ring

every single day

yeah santa came through your computer screen tonight saying ** ** ** to you

and he left many presents for mark and tom and little baby foo

you see they fed their faces on  turkey and lollies and more food

and each kid told santa that they were very good

ding a ling ding a ling

christmas bells are ringing

santa coming through your computer screen

to leave your presents there

and at each house he will have marshmallow slice and beer and coke

and *** ***** and white christmas, oh yeah

oh yeah oh yeah ding a ling

the christmas bells are ringing

merry christmas dudes

hi dudes and wasn’t that a great song and now here is sitting at the mall, because there is nothing i like better

is sitting at the mall especially as the christmas tree is up, here it goes

sitting at the mall

and man, i eat too much junk food

it makes me slow

it makes me weary

you see i want to positive so let’s party from now to christmas, fine

i will go to my family’s house and listen to the carols play

you see this brings on a perfect life

i like singing christmas carols

around the table on christmas day

i want to see the christmas parade in adelaide and a few weeks later in perth

and video them for youtube, so i can push up my views

every kid and big strong adult would say merry christmas

and have a wonderful day

and i go about my life filled with junk food saying

hi di hi di **, the big fat elephant is so slow

and i see the kids playing with their christmas gifts oh yeah

they consume lolly after lolly and they will get really fat

they will look liken santa, how about that

so i can feel fit and be a cool entertainer singing

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

oh what fun it is to play

on santa’s one horse open sleigh

and i am dreaming of a white christmas down here

well stop, cause in Australia it’s too **** hot

thanks dudes and now as it is coming on

a bit of summer weather


You see it's the summer weather
The barbecues are being cooked so well yeah
And the swimmers at the beach
are swimming between flags avoiding the sharks
And those crazy surfers as they surf with Santa
they drop off at the night club
to order a pina calada, yeah, that sure keeps us cool
You see it's summer weather
And you sun bake on the beach yeah
put on heaps of suncream, so cancer don’t strike, yeah yeah yeah
You see it's the summer weather
My poppy came out with a nice beer
And my two kids bobby and Toby had a coke
and they enjoyed that a lot
You see it takes away the hot, especially in ice
And it is great in the summer weather
Cause our drinks keeps us cool
You see it's the summer weather
The cricket and baseball is a playing
You see the players take about 5 hours to move oh yeah
And we see these players stand around forever
And in late of summer is the summer of tennis
watching the best players from around the world
and afterwards they go to the pub and celebrate
we say it's the summer weather cause those drinks keeps us cool
it’s the summer weather, the end of another year yeah
we lay the fireworks on the beach
so the lightshow, will be great
as midnight approaches we yell HAPPY NEW YEAR and then we say
what great summer weather, out champagne sure, keeps us cool

and now here is the song summer wonderland


The beer is chilling in the esky
Abc the BBQ is nice and hot yeah
And the kids are playing with their presents oh yeah that sounds real rad
And the swimming pool is being cleaned by your father and you can't swim in it cause the pool claurine
Can **** you well
You see we are running around
Up up and down
In a summer wonderland
You see Johnny Butthead and
Micheal Kenny and Robbie roe
And Kenny gee gee
And the superman of the heavens
Brings us nice weather and that makes us feel great yeah
Walking around singing a song
Walking in a summer wonderlsnd
On the beach we all made a sand castle and buried uncle Robbie
In the sand and then as he called
Out come on ya bludgers
Give us adults a ****** hand
You see when Robbie got out of that
He jumped around the beach
I was buried in sand
And yeah mate yeah I understand
Walking along singing a song
Living in a summer wonderland

ok dudes, that was a great song, and now dudes here is a song about santa claus new journey

you see santa claus came through the computer through the computer through the computer

santa claus cam through my computer, to give the gifts oh yeah

every time he came through the computer rolling around in cyber space

every time he came through the computer, he went up and then went down

you see tommy was a little boy trying to be good and susie was a little girl

who wanted santa to come, oh yeah

but susie was raised with santa going down the chimney yeah

and she went in and asked her dad, how can santa come here

and dad got out his apple Mac and said santa claus comes through this computer

through this computer through this computer

santa claus comes through this computer

to zap your presents there

you every christmas he comes through your computer

rolling around in cyber space

you see you can see every christmas eve you can see in your computer

a vision of santa coming through

santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

santa comes through your computers

santa will still eat lollies and cakes and a nice cold can of beer

so don’t be shy to leave them out as santa will be happy oh yeah

you see christmas day is a good day for santa to drop by

but for those families who have no chimney they will wonder how

you see santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

santa claus comes through your computer, ready to zap presents to you

here he is going through your computer, rolling around in cyber space

you see here santa is dropping from your apple Mac with a very loud thump

santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

you see santa is dropping through your computer, oh yeah let’s party on


and now here is stop dreaming of a white christmas, cause it’s too **** hot, pretty cool dude

You see I believe the North Pole is
Great and has a lot of penazz oh yeah
And Robbie roe decided to host his
Own Christmas bash with a BBQ and beer oh yeah come on
And then Martin pence bought
100 cases of the most expensive
Wine money can buy
And his 12 year old son
Said what about the coke dad oh yeah
You see it"s ****** hot and you have for a drink so what about us
Kids we need coke, oh yeah
And Martin prince said to his son
That we will have enough coke
Oh yeah cute cause it's hot
And we need to cool ourselves down
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it!'s too **** hot
And on the day of Christmas Eve it hit 37 degees and we didn't feel like doing much let alone the preparation of the party so what we did is have a
5 hour dip in the swimming pool oh yeah carn Christmas spirit right out of me, oh yeah come on dudes
And the kids kept on jumping on us
Leaving us sore but at least we were having a nice dip in the pool to cool ourselves down do we can get ready for the party oh yeah mate yeah
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot you see you see with pretty great
Mountains  and candy cane fountains  so stop dreaming of a white Christmas csuse it's too **** hot for that too **** stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot for that
The kids are playing backyard cricket yeah and the men came out
To have a hit and the ladies are in
There swearing as they cook the bird
But the ladies have an agreement
That the kids and men all do the cleaning up and talk about the sports whilst doing that
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause dudes
It's too **** hot too **** hot
Too **** hot for that
No white Christmases in Australia pal

and now it’s time to go, goodbye jupiter moon

hi dudes

last year i had to do, my dad died and i had to share my brieving oh yeah

last year i had to do, you see my previous life cronus, had to reincarnate my dad to betty

you see i was running and walking and i lost energy

because i was really hyped up, i ain’t into fetes at schools

but i had to do that because i was trying to remember dad and grieve

you see dad was throwing down memories

and i was the belconnen santa meeting the tuggeranong santa

you see i had to say, i was the christmas man

i did a lot of youtube videos and i don’t do as much now

because i am getting tired, maybe it’s my body reforming to make sure i don’t back to the psych ward

as i said i had to do that last year because i want to take all the hype out of my brain

so i can totally relax when i am with company

i remember taking a girl to a few concerts at stage ’88 and a tent over near parliament house, ya know john farnham

and sitting near parliament house watching the carols, and i like the lighting of the christmas tree

and i wanted dad and mum to see what canberra has to offer, and

i got hyped up, as my childhood desire of me, wanting to be famous, so i went on the internet

to see what i am good at, and yes, i am good at art, art colony, yes i am good at writing hello poetry

yes i can put a show on, youtube, and i am into a lot of what youtube has to offer, on my Facebook page

you see, i know i said, i will never go on Facebook but i had to, i am famous on the computer

and last year, dads spirit was getting into my body, and most of my videos were created by dad

and dad isn’t around, he’s betty, actually what is really happening, i am having fun, but i am getting tired

from entertaining, you see i had a few good ideas from youtube, like the carols by computer screen

i will be doing that again this year, and i am bringing bing crosby back to life as him and frank sinatra

were getting their spirits into my body, to let people know what christmas shows used to be, dad helped

you see dad taught us how computers can relive the past, youtube has dads spirit all through, but in a way

the people on youtube do things that dad wouldn’t approve of, even me, but everybody is different

you see preaching discipline is wrong, because you go to the youtube page, to learn what different people

are doing, you see when i was young i was sort of the black sheep of the family, in a way, i just disappeared

like what happened in 2013, and dad told us about his cat who used to turn the radio channel to the smokey dawson show

you see he lived his childhood from radio, but we were one of the only families who had a computer back in the 80s

well, we weren’t really, i am sure many more families had computers in the 80s, but not as much as now

dad looked like an old fogie, and i was teasing him, but that doesn’t mean i hated computers, and it doesn’t mean i hated dad

because in those days, only old fogies had the best computers, and in those days, you had to have money to be famous

you had to be good also, you see last year in 2014, i was having problems with the death of my dad, i was writing all this crap

and i couldn’t get  the anger out of my body and it was hard, but i finally got it out, but dad took a while to bring me back

because i like heavy metal, and i like the idea of bringing the carols by computer screen to life, i might seem like an old fogie at the moment

but that is better than being too woosey to be a computer nerd, you see dad is helping me be able to read my poems at the poetry

slam on the 3rd wednesday of each month, you see back in the 90s, i couldn’t read poems like this, and i got teased for that, but

i ain’t living in the past, well if i did, i will live in the year 0f 2002, when i started writing stories and poems, you see writing is better

than sitting on the sideline, when i have a talented family, and i am inheriting some of that talent, but i still like being lazy though

so i sit on my couch doing my tapestry like a cool adult ya see, you see, i find bing crosby and frank sinatra are the best christmas

entertainers, and i have written a few christmas carols like my version of white christmas, i am dreaming of a white christmas well stop

cause it’s too **** hot for that, and summer weather instead of winter weather and the good old winter wonderland, i have a carol summer wonderland

on the beach we can build a sandcastle, and bury uncle robbie in the sand, and my father came out saying carn ya bludgers, give your ****** mum

a ****** hand, you see i remembered dad said, i shouldn’t use ******, but i am taking the mickey out of the aussie language

but i stuck at my guns, determined to bring my carols by computer screen to life, being hyped up, but despite last year

getting a lot of fans, i still was hyped up, like, i want to host the raiders show properly but i need to relax, and at the end of this year

i will dressing up as a bird at the belconnen arts centre doing the cha cha and doing movements to the costume makers story of the bird

i am looking forward to that, and i promise i will be the best bird there, dads spirit is there trying to make people understand that this is

something i like, because this year has been a bit slow for me, but the bird piece will see if i could do movement well, which will bring me

to broadway in my next life, and maybe it might get canberra away from the group status, because i don’t give a toss about canberra

i am still enjoying my life, i have a lot of confidence in myself to be a good actor, mind you, who cares if there might be a few hiccups this year

i still got through it, i will be continuing to do carols by computer screen, this year i am spending christmas eve, with my mum, watching

the muppet family christmas and the carols by candlelight in melbourne and we will have lucky dips, buying thins $3.00 and less

and we are going to the stage ’88 christmas carols together, bringing a picnic dinner, and sing waving candles  to and fro

you see i am determined to keep bing crosby’s spirit still on earth over the computer,

hi dudes

i had a blood test and it showed i have high cholesterol and the doctor put me on

rosuvastatin, 20 mg, it might be because i am fat, but i listen to doctors cause they know best

and i know athena is working to make look at me eating healthy food and go for walks even

if i look like i am ready to bed, yes i don’t show much energy, and i can be lazy at times

but taking 1 tablet at night on top of my mental illness medication seroquel and serenade

a lot of people call them quacks, but all i want is to live longer and inspire others to do the same

because doctors took an oathe to help you, and athena is working up in outer space to keep me relaxed

at night, not like other people who stress about exercise trying to copy me, well, ya know what i hate

well i hate the police officer who bashed that little girl for texting, i know he is a police officer but in that

situation he was a basher, i went for a walk around my suburb at 3.15 pm today, despite people saying i should

sleep, but i want to get better, and yes, i know i will go to another life anyway, i still prefer to be a human in my next life

so i can get on television, and be really famous, this weekend is halloween and i will do a show, whether i do it on photo booth

and transfer it over to youtube later on, as i have been having problems with youtube lately, but i want the show done

because then i can entertain people, you see i had a tooth extraction and it fucken hurts as i chew, but i take a panadol

to try and ease it, the dentist said, be patient, for it will go away, yes today i was going for a denture fitting

i have a vision of my best mates from school trying to get me to do what i used to do, because i was a tad weird

and i need seroquel and serenade and hosuvastatin, for my cholesterol and athena operating on me when i sleep, i will

hopefully might start to get better, you see high cholesterol is dangerous and i love life too much to die yet, and there

are many things i need to do, before i move to my next life like

1 totally clean my brain from evil thoughts

2  do shows on youtube and photo booth, to hopefully make my next life cool

3  lose me excitement that others are sick

4  eat as healthy as you can

5  keep saying to your angry voices, i am a happy dude, you seem to be an angry dude, a very very very angry dude

6  i want to be a part of many theatre performances and keep doing poetry slams

7  lose that voice, you are like mummy brian, from dads voice and the cool kids

8  i had fun being like the big mens kids back when i was young, but i want the voices to understand, i am grown up

9  keep taking my medication , so athena can help heal my hurts

you see if i do all this, my next life will be cool and famous

i am famous in a way, of being an artist a writer and a youtube partner, i want more

but if i follow all this, my next life will be popular, but i am looking after myself in a sort of a way

i feel popular now

bye dudes

i don’t want to be a hooligan, i used to get get yelled at at the pokies, I HATED THAT

i used to be pushed to being a shy person a shy old dogie,  I HATED THAT

i used to get yelled at in the towns centre tavern  I HATED THAT

people used to say i am shy,  I HATE BEING SHY

young dudes used to hide bullying me so mum and dad don’t find out  I HATED THAT

i hate people treating me like their mob, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

you see the guy who nicked my lunch was an iditio, I WILL NEVER GO NEAR HIM

I WILL NEVER TOUCH ANOTHER POKER MACHINE, WASTE OF FUCKEN MONEY

i feel people are trying to take my fun away I HATE THEM

PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME A WOOSEY, I HATE THEM ALSO

peop[le are treating me like a ******, I HATE THEM

i was getting teased at work, ya see i was told i was getting a job at tuggers ACTEW

and without explaining to me, they gave the job to someone else, I HATE THEM, ***** THEM

people want me to behave like a mature adult, I HATE THAT

i am expressing myself, i want a break, PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK

support workers tease at work and when i tease, ya know just a small tease i get in trouble  I HATE THAT

a man was telling me i forgot to clean the hubcaps, when he could do it himself, I HATE THAT

I hear voices that people are truing to get me to do what i used to do, in every stretch of the imagination, I HATE THEM

i hear voices of people trying to get me to be an itchy hooligan, I HATE THAT

every time i hear a car or motorcycle i hype up by blowing my legs up, I HATE THAT

i hear my voices saying, your not a family person brian, or your still a shy person brian yer mate, I HATE THAT

i don’t want to get itchy feelings, I HATE THEM

the reason why i am not treating lyle like a mate, because he was crazy enough to put me in domestic violence, I HATE HIM

he had anger management issues  HE’S AN IDIOT

someone called me a great big ugly snout, I HATED HIM

you see i hate being involved in domestic violence, I HATE THAT

I HATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

I HATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

I DON’T WANT TO BE A YOUNG DUDE WHO LIKES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CAUSE I DON’T LIKE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

so in hindsight, i prefer to be a little young dude as opposed to someone who likes domestic violence

i hate violence in any way, i think i would know

don’t tell me to shut up, cause i won’t, got it, good

i just heard some awesome news

that makes me feel very cool

you see this years credit union christmas parade

will be LIVE all over Australia on GEM

i am looking forward to it, as i have only been to two

i want to watch it, it’ll be rad, thank you Adelaide for listening to my emails

i know i can be annoying, but you listened to me, oh yeah

watching the parade LIVE in canberra,

while we don’t have any here

we only have parades for babies, and a parade for the whole family on GEM will be radically awesome

because this parade is the best parade in Australia, better than canberra anyway

all we have in Canberra is people hanging around the mall teasing like children

but on november 14 my mate, i will be in my house watching the credit union christmas parade live on channel GEM

i love life, i love being alive because Adelaide are listening to me

adelaide adelaide adelaide rah rah rah

adelaide adelaide adelaide the best christmas parade by far

adelaide adelaide adelaide LIVE on channell GEM

it’s better oh so better than missing out this year because you have no money

adelaide adelaide adelaide we are the best

the christmas pageant on from 11 to 1 on 14 november on channel GEM

we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas

and a joyous new year and a very joyous new year oh yeah

I am dreaming of a white Christmas
I say stop, cause it's too **** hot for that
You see instead of skiing and skating on ice
We are having barbecues and swimming in the pool
And instead of Santa coming down the chimney he goes through the computer screen and uncle robbie and jim bob
And Jacob lying on the beach getting a tan and if they are dreaming of a white Christmas well stop cause in Australia
It's too **** hot for that
You see kids are riding their surfboards
On Bondi beach and santa will join us
Everyone is having fun
And robbie pulls out six pack
And said lets get out backpacks
And hike through the kangaroo island bushland
If you dream of a white Christmas
Well stop cause in Australia it's too
**** hot
You see we go off the Queensland and sere the big pineapple and then go down to Coffs Harbour to see the big banana and mum is sweating in the kitchen cooking the Christmas bird
And we go to jamberoo to slide down the waterslide
And uncle Freddie said ** ** ** look at me go
I am dreaming of a white  Christmas
I should stop cause in Australia it's too **** too ****
Too **** hot

I don’t want to i don’t want to i don’t want to go to jail for taking photographs

why would you why would you why would you go to jail for taking photographs

I know i don’t want to take photos of children, It’s not worth it, man

and when i do go to family events, I have to be careful of who is around me

you see i don’t want to get locked up in a cell for taking photographs

especially when kids are always getting in the shot

I always check my video wisely before you tubing the video

no close ups of children, I get it, but i am not prepared to go to jail for photographs

I find it’s sick to touch children up, i find it hard to get out of this trap

i want to be famous, and boy I do want to be famous

and i i have to be careful because i don’t want to go to jail for taking photos

please kids, don’t get in my way, but i can’t avoid it too much

i should stay away from the school fetes and school carols evenings

because i don’t want to go to jail for taking photos

i don’t collect images of kids, anything that looks weird i delete it

i want to share my day out with people with my fans or friends

and i am not sharing illegal activity,

please i am scared to take close ups of kids because I know its wrong

i have an itchy stomach because i accidently take some photos

but whether i have the right to do that, i feel worried that i might go to jail

for taking a few photos

please dudes, I want to enjoy the candle festival this Saturday

and get a few great pictures of the adult acts and the candle garden

and i will try some of the food they have

I don’t want to i don’t want to i don’t want to

ever go to jail ever, especially something like taking photos

The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end

the cyber bully said sorry to cover up, so does the weird kid


you see there was this man named Robert Delneath who was really bad, and he liked to

pick on vulnerable people, like taking their lunch money to try and prove a point with the

families of the world that he means business, and he has this phoney sorry which always follows

first of all, Robert picked on Harry jacobs by bullying him and making him really sad that

nobody likes him and then he bullied Ben Mather who was really scared of him and said how

about we make a truce, i give you my lunch now and you never hassle me again but Robert

was confused because that is not how it works, you see he said he was the king and deserves everything

and if you don’t give me your lunch, I will punch you, got it, and Ben was really scared and said leave me alone

i am a family person, the only people i like in my life are people who are nice to my family and Robert said **** your

stupid family, ok, you give me your lunch right now, ok and Ben ran away from him but the problems will never go away

cause Robert has friends in high places and track Ben down any tick of the clock and after that he said, Ben, no your not

a family person, I am not leaving you alone till you understand that you are a hooligan, ya know a no hoper like me but Ben

said no, i am not a no hoper, i am one stretch of the canvas a better person than you.

Robert said ok go home, but i will hassle you again, and don’t forget Mather, I never get caught, so you have to co operate

and then there was Mark Kenneth who hardly went out much and his brother was a real adventure lover and because of that

Robert was enrolled himself himself in the same school as Mark, decided to pick on him by taking his lunch, saying you are

a stupid little ******* circus monkey and Mark said my family are really nice to me and they will protect me, but none of that

came out, actually Mark was too scared to say anything and kept looking at Robert and Robert and his mated said what are you looking at, Turk

and picked on him for a long time, you see Mark wanted this man to leave him alone but didn’t have the heart to say anything to him

because Robert tried to tell him to shut up, and Mark was about to say, Nobody tells Mark Kenneth to shut up, but none of that came out

and he remained looking at Robert, making him feel very uncomfortable, but Mark just sat there watching him trying to think that he really thought

Robert was cool and he didn’t want cool people bullying him so instead of saying that either, he said nothing remaining lookling at him

in a queer sort of a way and then when Mark went home he told his parents and the next day Mr Kenneth became the the big man and actually

said, LEAVE MY SON ALONE,  and Robert said i am trying to but he is looking at us in a queer way, we need him to understand that kids are cool

and Mr  kenneth  was worried about his families safety so he got a job offer in Wisconsin and moved there and when he arrived there Mark started going out

and was trying to think about a way to protect himself better because what Robert posted on Face book that there is a queer starer coming to the USA

and what was happening was a hole lot of situations like a kid saying your like us man, i want o fight you, and another group of thugs locked Mark up in the

the store room in his class, and some kids ****** into a fruit box bottle and gave to Mark to drink which really upset Marks father and also some poor kids

kept on ribbing him for money, by throwing his wallet all over the classroom and when he thought his peers were finally going to leave him alone,

then the voices started happening in Marks head, Kidnap kids take a kid and lock him in the cage, which forced a situation with a portable toilet which was

there for the workmen, of the putting together of gas in the street and Mark wanted to lock every kid in this toilet, one by one, and then the kidnap voices

really drove him crazy, but he tried to play basketball and bowling as well as go to see the Green Bay Packers play, yeah this was realy radically awesome

for him but then he went to the Wisconsin local fruit market and ******* a boy to the toilet, and that was where, Mark had to settle down, getting kids back makes you

the bully and Robert must be dead or sitting in his house laughing at the crazy Mark Kenneth and then Mark thought drinking was his solace but he started really fighting

his dad t stick up to him, but it turned out that Mr Kenneth was really scared of his son Mark, he was really scared for his safety because of the way the young dudes

teased him because Mark was staring at them, never wanted to accept his apology because he thought he wanted the teasing to come back, and Mark was mugged outside the

Green Bay Packers football club after watching cake perform, and lost his house keys and his wallet and some ******* bashed him but let him go after Mark was appearing to tough for him

and after all that Robert said I am Robert Delneath world famous cyber bully, I NEVER LOSE, ****** Mark, you see Robert planed the voice in his head, saying he wasn’t a nerdy character

just try and beat us, I have the world at my fingertips, heh heh heh

The kidnapping of Brian Allan


You see Brian Allan decided to stay out all night because to his eyes his family were too boring and he went out and teased all the conservative men and yeah they were upset from what Brian was saying about them, they decided they don't wanna be conservative anymore and planned to kidnap Brian and lock him in the basement of a school, and then these men decided to take a few other kids with him, and every hour on the hour, the kidnapper would
Come down and push Brian and the kids down. Right to the ground
And then the kidnapper would say
You kids are going to suffer like ******* and Brian managed to get free and tried to dig his way out but fat chance, cause it became an
Impossible feat as the kidnapper came back in three him in the panel van and said you are going to die tonight. You will never see anybody
That you liked ever again and Brian
Was scared but he knew he believed
In previous lives but he really didn't want to die from this kidnapping and
He said let me go, why don 't give me back to the kids, they were having fun teasing me, but the kidnapper said. No mate your not
Getting teased you are my kidnap
Victim and I will make you suffer like hell, cause you are from the old fogie family and buddy you are still like us
And while you think that we are adults to kids when we don't need to be, you will stay with the kids till you
Learn the error of your ****** ways
And before Brian Allan could scream very loud, the gag was put tightly around his mouth and Brian and those kids were held captive there for years and years as they went by
And Brian was trying to say, I thought you were treating me like a little cool kid, to keep me away from
Adult worries and the kidnapper who
Claims he can only read Brian Allan's
Mind and said I am not ya fucken daddy buddy and then the kidnapper said, I have kidnapped Brian Allan away from being a different kind of kid, you see you are too shy Brian to be a actually family person, just hang around being kidnapped with the kids in this dungeon and mate you are way cooler than your family, they ain't getting kidnapped but you are
Yeah I have Brian Allan with the kids
Never ever ever to be an adult and
Brian Allan and the kids were struggling to get out and this forced the kidnapper to come in with his rifle and ready aim fire but Brian managed to get free and said. Would
You please let me and the kids go from your clutches buddy and the kidnapper yelled with a loud voice
Neh you kids are with me forever
You will never ever be good enough to be one of the young dudes and the kidnapper said I am one of the young dudes, you see kids I have kidnaped you guys to make me one of the young dudes and then as Brian Allan tried to get out the kidnapper put a Hand around Brian Allan's mouth saying you are no longer like us, man, I am anyway ok
And then after 6 hours from then, Brian Allan got free and untied the kids and they carried sticks to bash the kidnapper if he destroyed this little escape plan and they managed to get out of the cave and ran to the nearest bus stop and caught the bus home and the kidnapper tried to look for the kids one of the kids fdther, who was a hunter gunned the kidnapper down and killed him and
This fdther was let off with a suspended sentence because he was protecting his son
And Brian Allan wanted to change his life from that day and then after
4 weeks that kidnappers son who was worst than his father kidnapped
Brian Allan and kept him locked
Up in a cage at the local zoo, with the ferocious lions and Brian Allan couldn't escape, actually Brian Allan found it hard to get out and the duct tape was put really right around his
Mouth and Brian Allan was thinking this kidnapper was going to let him die and the kidnapper said, no Brian
I ain't going to **** ya, the ferorious
Lion is going to eat ya up while you
Are tied to this stake and then the kidnapper said heh heh heh heh heh
I have Brian Allan snatched forever

halloween kids



I am a man who loves halloween yes i think it’s cool

you trick or treat through the streets, oh yeah

asking for lollies and bobbing for apples

yeah that sounds so rad to me

you see you sing songs like monster mash

and flying purple people eater and you eat people everywhere

and you hate when dr frankenstein says you are doomed sunshine

and then you played the jaws theme to scare away the dudes

party party party oh yeah, this will be pretty cool

you see hearing the sounds of the ghosts of halloween and

the big fierce dracula

and the monsters do their dash, yeah that sounds so cool

and each adult gives sweets to each kid, yeah mate ****** yeah

you see on the eve of halloween, dr micheals comes around

to say, you are a **** and a monster, yeah, you need a nice cold budweiser beer

then in the middle of the day your kids come in the bar

and show you all the candy they have found

yeah there was a lot

you see good old dracula said back to me

yeah, these kids are devious and cunning

and the great dr frankenstein said kids, we have to party with them

kids, you see we have tom and george and simon and Ben

kids we can’t have this holiday without them oh no we can’t

kids kids kids kids

kids, the party is on for young and old

you see these kids have heard every story ewer told

kids need more, but they don’t except it no

kids kids kids

kids are the reason why we celebrate this day

you see people dress up in consumes all over the USA

kids aren’t happy when the night ends oh no

they just keep the parents being tired and weary oh yeah oh no

kids the day is great for them

kids  the adults are trying to break every record that is meant

kids need to explain to these blokes that they are uncool

kids kids kids

you see kids, i see the devil with his fork

kids i see blackbeard the pirate in the body of a dork

kids the wicked witch is the biggest problem child

kids kids kids

kids can the adults steel the kids candy

kids can the adults steal is while singing yankee doodle dandy

kids is it possible  that the candy is theres oh yeah

kids kids kids

happy halloween dudes and dudelttes

i am a muck around from 9 am to 11.50 pm kind of guy


you see there are few things i hate in life

but one thing is falling asleep in the middle of the day

and staying up at night, i hate that, i hate that all so very much

you see i prefer to do my tapestry, even if i look lazy

i still prefer to do my tapestry during the day

because it’s much easier to sleep after midnight

so what if people are laughing at my old mates theory

if you go to bed early you can turn into a pumpkin

mind you i don’t want to be forced, by the force to go to bed

but as long as i get my creativity done, i don’t really care

you see staying up past midnight is so kids stuff

i want my medication to make sure i don’t do that

for me, if i stay up after midnight, i would be a hooligan

and i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

sometimes i sleep on the bed

sometimes i sleep on my chair

but i sleep better after midnight

i had fun being with my mates as a kid

i just want this whole forcing me to sleep, or stay awake to stop

i am a 46 year old man now, i need my beauty sleep

and despite that i like to muck with the young dudes

i am 46, i have spurs in my feet, and fungal affected toes

i want to forget about the bad stuff i did and take it out through creativity

i don’t want to take old lady nanna naps or be an old drunk in the club

i am an artist and a writer and a youtube entertainer

and i want to move on with my life

i still like heavy metal, but i don’t like the trouble that surrounds it

i still like sport, but i ain’t into playing that either

i am hearing my old mates voice trying to get me to stat up all night with him

that is one thing i don’t want to do, in life you need your sleep

i find youtube is better than foxtel, i watch it from 9.00 am to 11.50 pm

then i go to bed, after i do my youtube party show, if it is the weekend

so stop the force telling me to sleep all day and stay up all night

i don’t do that anymore, i am reformed to being a family person

a real christmas man, i love carols nights and christmas tree lightings

i do enough, stop trying to keep me up all night, i am reformed now

never to stray away from family life a gain

for each and every day of the year

i celebrate the day that changed the world

the day that mary rode in on a donkey

and when jesus christ was born, thanks to cronus

this all took place, oh yeah it did

in the town of bethlehem

and i jumped up and said these words saying

i am the christmas man the christmas man

always talking about christmas even if it’s late May or early Jan

i have my elves make gifts to keep the kids amused

from george mc, lory to billy bob hughes

i am the christmas man the christmas man

i watch the adelaide christmas pageant every year

as well as the disney parade shocks the world each year

i watch the lighting of the canberra tree

and gather at stage ’88 for the great carols sing, can’t ya see

i watch the TV for the carols in the domain, and occasionally i head out there

and nothing beats christmas eve like sitting with family watching the carols by candlelight on channel 9

and i watch movies like deck the halls and polar express and the santa claus too

i listen to carols on the christmas radio stations on tune in radio

i am the christmas man the christmas man

i celebrate christmas differently to others, cause i am the almighty christmas man

i go to school carols nights, and i enjoy them a lot

seeing all the kids sing the carols that everybody knows and loves

i used to play santa claus at a local op shop ya see

and at the end of each year, i went home to celebrate christmas with family

ya see i am the christmas man the christmas man

i celebrate christmas all year round, because it’s fun

and i buy presents are a pair of hoppalong boots and a pistol that shoots

is the wish for janice and jen and dan

robots that can talk and go for a walk is what freddie and ben want

and mum and dad can hardly wait for school to start again

you see as you give that pistol that shoots my love my pal my sweet

make sure it’s a water pistol, to squirt water all over your bext mates new jacket

i am the christmas man the christmas man

all year i am the christmas man

i dress up in my red and white suit and say

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

FROM CANBERRA’S VERY OWN CHRISTMAS MAN

merry christmas dudes

i prefer to be a freak than a cool kid to a tease, cause i ain’t stupid

you see i wanna be a loving freak who loves to muck with family and friends

i don’t want to be a cool kid, for the simple reason i ain’t a kid anymore

i ain’t stupid, i ain’t really much of a freak either

i want to be loved by all, i ain’t into being called a freak in voices

if freaks are nice to each other, i am a nice freak

but i ain’t stupid

i want to be a man going to the mall to do my stuff

you see i want to be a freak, if this is what they do

my mate says, yeah but

i go ribbit ribbit

what do ya think i say

ribbit ribbit

what do ya think i say

i’m a freak and i am a ******

i sort of act like a spazzo

i am weird to your point of view

but weird isn’t in my vocabulary

i just want to live my life to the full

you go yeah but

i go  ribbit ribbit what are you going to do

ribbit ribbit what are you going to say

i don’t fancy getting teased for the rest of my life

just because i was a freak getting into plenty of strife

you go yeah but

i go ribbit ribbit what do ya think i know

ribbit ribbit when are you quitting the show

you go yeah but

i go ribbit, like the little green frog swimming in the water

the argument of the universe, ends the life of youtube sensation, caleb



in the great saturn club rings on thursday october 1 2015m peter sargent and ted bundy

had a very strong argument which really was beginning to turn nasty, first ted ******* paul berenyi

and snatched greame thorne and adam walsh, making their earth bodies really shook up

you see greame thorne is me, brian allan from canberra and adam walsh is some young man who was

killed by the parramatta terrorist and peter sargent came up to ted bundy, and said, stop this, i mean

you should stop this, and ted said, i am slowing the earth down, so you will be good to mind your own business

but peter said, neh, i don’t want to let you win, you see my earth body is a cool boy, never to be killed, you

will never get us ted bundy, ted bundy grabbed peter by the arm saying, watch what you say, buddy, but peter

really wanted to slow down teds reign, because this is weird what the world has been going through since you died

first you made brian allan a crazy person by making him tie himself up in a toilet in mitchell, and can’t you see he is suffering

too much from that stupid mistake your ghost made him do and it was awful to push his next door neighbour brendan down as well,

brian really liked him, and me, you made me **** myself when i was having problems that you caused, and ted said, but you are

enjoying being a cool boy now, don’t jeopardise it, dude, but peter kept on yelling blaming him for all the suicides that happened like

anthony, the mentally ill christian, and barry loughton as well as mark jones, and i know these deaths were normal, but you are the reason why

they are dead, ted, and i hate what you are doing to brian allan from canberra lately, he likes watching his grandmas next life annie be with slim dusty

who is hayley, and me who is caleb, but you are trying to **** him, by making his old school chin patrick enright, in his mind, tease him in his mind

treating him like his family, by making him lose interest in things, and peter told ted, he hates what you are putting in brian’s mind, by killing off all the

old fogies one by one, you see brian’s aunty pam developed a cancer of the lung, giving her no energy, she never smokes, and peter told ted that

he hates dads dellusional ghost trying to make brian write and think evil things about his father, and peter said, you will never get my current earth body

he plays baseball and really enjoys being a youtube sensation, peter said to ted bundy, you see what you are doing is destroying the world, including

my beloved canberra, where i met brian and chris allan, who played cricket with me, and i hate how you are making brian tease his dad with the poor people

i know he doesn’t want to be a rich ****, but some of the situations were very dodgy, and i want you to let brian allan be a man, ya know, i know he still likes

cricket despite of what he tells people, and ted bundy, at about 7 on the 1st october, struck caleb from bratayley down, by grabbing his cool kid, and tying him up

on the sun with paul berenyi and adam walsh and greame thorne, and the way he did this, was grab peter sargent by the arm and say, you are no longer a youtube sensation

by grabbing you, i **** off your youtube sensation life caleb, and burn your cool kid in the sun, you see peter, there is no heaven, and there is no hell, you see if you are a

nice kid, i will, put you on the sun, ready to suffer in your next life, you’ll never know, peter, i might bring you back to hole in the wall canberra, in a poor neighbourhood

you see peter, i am destroying the life of crocus’s current earth body, by giving him sore feet, and keeping the cool kids away from him, like brattayley, i know that brian’s

grandmother on his mothers side is there as annie, and slim dusty is hayley, and if they return after the funeral of caleb, i have powers to take the cool kid off

these kids, ted bundy said, because, what i was doing on earth, was turning people off, showing the world their fresh legs, peter said, let us go, ted bundy, please let us go

i will never lose my reign, and your next life will certainly know it, peter sargent, peter said, i will make sure, you suffer, and ted said, think about it, brian allan wants to be famous and living in adelaide

but money is keeping him here in canberra ok, so you will never get what you want, while you have to understand, even the rich people who are seldom getting what they want

in theory, are being bashed or murdered, or maybe even both, this world isn’t good, and that is because of me, ted bundy said and caleb is suffering, as he doesn’t want to be *******

to the sun, he wants to be with bratayley, to live to be old, and ted bundy said heh heh heh heh we will make4 brian allan suffer as he wants to give greame thorne is wish of being famous

trying to beat ted bundy forcing his old mate patrick’s teasing voice out of his head forever, but what is happening ted is saying, let’s make brian’s school friends watch the professionals

and laugh at brian, yeah this sounds radically awesome said ted, granny is with slim dusty through annie and hayley, but because of caleb being snatched from there to be tied to the sun

will bratayley return, or will ted bundy get what he wants, no technology for young people, and this is a hard battle, but we all must stop the ghost of ted bundy, by doing what we want to do

as long as it is good, and realise if we do things that is bad, it’s ted bundy that is enforcing it

Hi dudes

I am on the murrays bus heading for Batemans bay and there is only 1 hour
And a half left and I am looking forward to being close to the ocean
You see it's going to be great eating fish
And chips at the boathouse
You see I am having memories of when I went here with my mate Daniel and this
Is my first trip since I stopped ringing him up and I am staying in Mariners on the waterfront and I hope the room is ready when I get there
I have to rehearse my play lines as well
I woke up at 5 am in the morning at my mother's house and I remember walking with Daniel and the bus dropped water on us because it was raining But today iss lovely sunny day and now we have arrived at Braidwood to pick up a box and we are off again
We are entering the windey roads
Of the Clyde mountain and as I look
Out there are roadworks and lovely black cows, cows are beautiful creatures and yes we will be passing
Poo bears corner and dudes there is
Blue sky for miles, and I hope my room
Had fox footy so I can watch the parade I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave monday  but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave Monday but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final And after walking home from the club
after watching the parade, I got $50 out
And went back to the hotel and presto
The TV was in better working order but
I don't have fox footy, so I am glad I went to the club and currently I am just
Relaxing in front of the box doing my art
And I saw the end of the rugby league
Grand final show and I am doing my hAlloween tapestryAnd now I am watching alive and cooking waiting for the 3 o'clock news
Bulletin to start and tonight I am going to have fish and chips as well as buying a few supplies to veg out with tonight
In front of the box, the view of the river
Is radically awesome dude and I am looking forward to my fish and chips
Down the coast
I just had fish and chips at the voatshed and yes mr seagull decided to Payne a visit
And you shoul have Heard the racket when I gave up one or two or three
And the fish was so fresh and for drinks I had pub squash and another seagull jumps up to say hello to Me and I said hell mister seagull and after I finished with my dinner I went to woollies to buy some supplied to satisfy my hunger tonight
And as I was walking home  a man said I was shaky he like a jelly on a plate and I said yeah I am a cool writer and artist
And then I went into my room to watch Becker then the news and I am going to spend a relaxing night on the night before west coast hopefully beat hawthorn and will I get fat tonight
Of course I am not going to eat it all tonight
I will concentrate on my creativityYou see I lying on my bed moving
My hand as I do each stitch watching
Neighbours and everybody loves Raymond and then watched the gardeners on better homes and gardens
And whe I was watching that some really cool party people were laughing and having a good time all I'm readiness
For the afl grand final tomorrow
As the song goes
We are the Eagles the west coast Eagles
We're the team to show you how
We are the better birds than the team of hawthorn we are the mighty west coast team but if hawthorn win tomorrow
I will ****** scream and now there is another talk show
Have you been paying attention
Which is a radically awesome show
But I Have turns it over to superman
On channrlll goI got up at 7 am this morning after having a nightmare of James Pederson
Getting his revenge on me after I teased him a bit and then I got up to go to the toilet and took my medication and went back to bed for 2 more hours and after that I had a shower and then breakfast
And got the room ready for the housekeepers to clean and then went on a walk to beautiful batehaven and as I walked down the road, there was this lovely sesbreeze and it was a beautiful
Hot day and I passed the fish and chip shop and the shell museum and bird land animal park and I saw families swimming in the pool and when I reached batehaven I bought myself a coke and say there watching isthe water and there is this water skier having a wow of a time and there was this man taking his dog down to the water and there are heaps of families taking their kids to the water on this nice hot day  
It is wonderful sitting by the beach and onr man is resting his dog
It is a nice day for the beach
And I am enjoying myself relaxing in the shade of this really hot day at the beach
And soon I must go to get some lunch and watch west coast beat hawthirn
Go the EaglesI entered the soldiers club and went straight to the bistro to have a hamburger with egg and bacon and chips and it was superb and then I went to the TV to watch the pre game show
And Elle Goulding and Bryan Adams
Were the entertainers and mike Brady sang up there Cazaly and even if they weren't there felt like singing up there goes Sydney and I chose the TV with a view of the Clyde river and I am still tipping west coast go the Eagles
The Hawks broke away with a lead at quarter time and half time and west coast are in for a record if they can get back from 57-26 down and the Kangaroos runner won the sprint giving money to youth homelessness
And the beach is a cool backdrop for the mighty MCG and I am still going for the eagkes but it will be hard
Go the eagles for what it's worth
Well we are the happy team at hawthorn
Showing the Eagles which birds the best, we fight them off from start to finish
Go the Hawks for the 2015 premiership
And it is a good reason to party on
Saturday night which is party night
Yes the Hawks are superior in this grand final and I am sitting in the batemans bay soldiers club watching the match and I am waiting for the presentation and if the motel has a band tonight
I am going party through frustrations by watching the band
I will probably get a pizza for dinner on the wharf
But the Hawks were the big birds the kings of the big game
Go the Hawks for victorycan hear you laughing. Go
You see you are laughing oh so hard mc cracking jokes celebrating the Cowboys win it was a wonderful win
I am glad the Broncos lost
You see I like people who party
They are my type of people
You see people laugh at each other
And they say go cowboys go
Then around Christmas time
They dress up as Santa and let out
A loud ** ** **
You see they say it very loud
It is like they lost thrift ** ** **
Where can it go go go
Doing the hanky pdnky with your mates
In the gay bar in downtown Sydney
Then we will celebrate a win
Cowboys Cowboys rah rah rah
Got he mighty Cowboys from now till the end of hhf day
Everyone has stopped laughing
Time for bed
Go the Cowboys

the killing to make our revenge noted



you see these poor people heard my mates words

and now, i haven’t heard of my mate since

you see i think that people have taken out their revenge

and sent them through to hell or heaven

i don’t know it for sure

but i can surely guarantee that my mate has been killed and bloodened to death

just because he expressed an opinion

i haven’t seen him since one day

and i haven’t seen the homeless man either

i don’t want to be turned off helping the homeless find homes, no way, no fear

you see the other day, a crazy man tried to walk me to the shops

i implied that i didn’t want to do this, so i ended it with have a nice day

you see have a nice day is better to say than *******

i know people get fucken annoyed with that, but still it’s better

i would prefer if the hawker shops allow him to be there

they will keep him under wraps

but i haven’t seen my mate for ages, and if he is dead, i know to think

that keeping your mouth from saying bad stuff is the best solution

you see it’s nearly halloween, and i aqm getting visions of all my old school mates

being killed for voicing their opinions

i don’t want to suffer with the poor, but i don’t want to agree with the rich either

i certainly don’t want to sit on the fence, that is what losers do

i have my opinions, i should have a voice, and i should be heard

if i believe i was kidnapped in my last 2 previous lives that is my answer

if i believe that mentally ill people smell funny because they can’t be bothered washing themselves

well, it maybe isn’t really their fault

i miss this bloke, who i used to talk to around hawker, has he been killed

because i really voiced his opinion a lot, and that could get him in trouble

i hate being treated like a bad smell, i am a 46 year old young dude

i’m a happy dude, and i hear angry dudes in my head

which really drives me crazy crazy crazy

i watch the muppet show, i don’t want my past coming back to me

i don’t want to get robbed again, i don’t want to nearly run over by idiotic people

i know this bloke who i don’t see much now, yeah he hates certain people, and i don’t hate anyone

that could turn a few heads

i hope paul isn’t dead, i hope we just haven’t gone out at the same time

because there are too many crazy people hanging around since he hasn’t been there

i know he ain’t my daddy, but i just think, it’s queerly strange

i hear this voice, paul, don’t go out when your friend goes out

we want to trick him

but then again, i am not out as much as i was, he is though, keep a good thought

Brian the cool vinnies bloke


you see brian allan was looking for something to do, to get him from being street trash

and a very nice lady named rowena said why don’t you work for vinnies, and brian said why not

and the next day, he was given an interview with helen, who was the boss at vinnies, and

she thought it would be great to have someone to do the bins and vacuum the floor before the start

and after 4 weeks of being there, brian thought he would like to be santa claus, and had to make uo

a proper reason for doing it, so brian said, i like the idea of giving the kids, who hate shopping with parents

a treat and helen thought she will make gingerbread men, to tickle the childs taste buds a lot,but helen was

in a bind, because i haven’t got a beard and she suggested i spray paint my real beard, but my parents were against that

because it would go against everything that santa stood for, but brian got angry with his parents and told them

that if they spray painted his beard, there will be no smart alek of a kid to pull his beard off, and as brian said that

his father yelled out, THAT’S ENOUGH, thinking i cared nothing about the kids of this city but that offended brian a lot

and made him hit his father, and this got brian really hyped up on being the best santa claus in canberra, and then

when brian explained to helen that it was causing a stir with the family to spray paint the beard, helen decided to

get a fake beard for me to use, and on the first day i played santa, i offered some of the adults gingerbread men

and they said, save them for the kids, and one little girl, who had the same resemblance to my eldest niece, said

i was a fake santa, and the santa at the mall was more real than i was, and some of the vinnies ladies brought their

own grandchildren in to get their gift from santa and i did my first year of santa, despite some smart a lek of a kid

attemptng to pull my beard off, but i was too smart for him, and after christmas was over packed my santa suit away for the first time

and then i met david who did the shoes, and i found him very good to talk too, you see i said when he dies he will be the

shoe shine man in heaven, but he sounded like he hated the idea, and he liked to joke around with stephen and mable and

i vacuumed the floor and then went outside to empty the clothing bin, and i did this all the time, ya know every day, and i had ken and brian

to help me, but brian thought it would be cool to bang on the clothing bin, while i was still in it and i told helen and she said

you should speak up for yourself, because i seem to let people walk all over me, and really i can’t be bullied by this so called brian

character, and then i started something new, you see i thought, it would be nice to to cook lunches 3 days a week at the new mental health

building, called the rainbow and i learnt how to do creative writing as well as meeting the messiah and a man named barry, who was a

really cool poet, sort of reminded me of my father, mainly because of his poem sounding like banjo patterson and henry lawson, and barry

was a lover of fitzroy, and supported the brisbane lions afl club, and i went to the club i do the bbq for, to watch the game with him and

he left before the end of the match and, i continued to go about my merry way, cooking meals at the rainbow and going on trips with the rainbow

having sing-a=longs and one man, warwick, swam 45 km at once and helen got a fire engine and i sat in it, and a star canberra raiders star

came to vinnies and signed a ball for me and my second year of santa claus went well also, i wrote fly burgers also that year, which was

funny and when i read it out, everyone was laughing along with it and they clapped it, and i read out the fact i missed scott macdonald also

and i went to queensland that year also, and when i got in my santa suit, i was visioning i will tell the kids i am an australian santa and instead of

living on the north pole, i lived right here in canberra but my parents who were strict on keeping kids imaginations flowing, hated me disillusioning

the kids minds, you see here is a poem about the aussie santa

ya see g’day mate i am the real santa

i don’t live at the north pole

i live in canberra australia, ya know the hot place, around christmas day

ya see ya know christmas is great as i do my gigs at vinnies

and as a treat i give out gingerbread men and lollies

you see christmas is fun for all ages dudes, yeah it’s fun oh yeah that’s right mate

i hope you don’t do ya santa gig way to ****** late


you see i thought i was given this gig, to bring the cool into santa

and one year i was doing my gig with an orange soda

who loves orange soda, i love orange soda

is it true, oh yeah it’s true ooh ooh ooh oh yeah

and in the following year, i was feeling fine, and my psychiatrist reduced my medication and that pushed me straight to the psych ward, where i thought

i died, and the psych ward was the gate to heaven and that ended the cool vinnies kid reign but i came back and i was more interested talking with david

and doing santa claus and that year i was checking tapes, but that only lasted 5 months, because there were getting more tapes coming in, i couldn’t keep it up

and santa was the thing, and because i was a good worker, suddenly everyone wanted me, but that was because of my manly charm, and helen left and glenn

came in and he had this little jingle, brian brian brian everything is fine, brian brian brian he’s a friend of mine brian brian brian makes the carpet shine?

you see his name is brian brian brian, and glenn sang that song to me every time i did the vacuuming at the shop and then after a few more santa gigs, glenn left and

paul s came in after vinnies had no boss, but i was still santa claus there and paul s was the official photographer for my santa claus gig, and that made me feel cool

and now, i am not santa anymore, but i really enjoyed the attention.

Halloween oh Halloween


Dashing through the streets
On the last day of October yeah
Are all the kiddies playing trick or treat and the rougher kids eggs an old battalax's house
And then when this old geezer comes out, the rough kids are as quite as a mouse
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's a great day yeseree
You see people dress up as vampires and witch's and ghosts
And for blood they use cherry cheer
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's a great day to scare everyone
You see you can pretend you head is cut off
The old fogies are going for a walk
And some trick or treaters are coming down dressed up as 1 ghost
2 witch's and a very ****** clown oh yeah and as they passed the olds
They said how's it going cobbler
And then the ****** clown said
I will tease ya if ya don't give me a dollar
Halloween yeah Halloween
These scary kids are having so much fun yeah it.'a fun scaring old fogies yeah for money oh yeah it's fun
Halloween yeah Halloween
Celebrate it now
Celebrate the day that likes the idea
Of dressing up as scary monsters yeah Halloween is cool
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's on for young and old
You see dressing up as ghosts and witch.'a really makes us glad
Halloween yeah Halloween
Come on everyone
We give each kid a wonderful treat
To share and share a like
Happy Halloween dudes


Sent from my iPhone

Summer weather

You see it's the summer weather
The barbecues are being cooked so well yeah
And the swimmers at the beach
are swimming between flags avoiding the sharks
And those crazy surfers as they surf with Santa
they drop off at the night club
to order a pina calada, yeah, that sure keeps us cool
You see it's summer weather
And you sun bake on the beach yeah
put on heaps of suncream, so cancer don’t strike, yeah yeah yeah
You see it's the summer weather
My poppy came out with a nice beer
And my two kids bobby and Toby had a coke
and they enjoyed that a lot
You see it takes away the hot, especially in ice
And it is great in the summer weather
Cause our drinks keeps us cool
You see it's the summer weather
The cricket and baseball is a playing
You see the players take about 5 hours to move oh yeah
And we see these players stand around forever
And in late of summer is the summer of tennis
watching the best players from around the world
and afterwards they go to the pub and celebrate
we say it's the summer weather cause those drinks keeps us cool
it’s the summer weather, the end of another year yeah
we lay the fireworks on the beach
so the lightshow, will be great
as midnight approaches we yell HAPPY NEW YEAR and then we say
what great summer weather, out champagne sure, keeps us cool

Sent from my iPhone

i am buddha and i am ok, you see i am the coolest dude oh yeah any day

you see my hooligan is trying to catch me yeah

but i am too cool for that, my friend

you see dudes, i party right up here

showing the after life how to party, yeah

it’s good to see tony abbott lost his battle

you see he is such a two faced old ****

working hard to make a living, putting shelter over our heads

i have found a way to party in ****** bed

everyone is living in the past with my actions, yeah mate yeah

like they judge me from when i was scared running up to my nanna

my brother stayed down there, i was a scared little ****

but i am still a good you tuber and writer and artist

and i will be the best i can fucken be

i look at the palm of my hand, and it says i have a long life line

and i have got big things happening for me mate, yeah that’ll be so cool

i am flying ,around outer space trying to catch the villain

the evil hooligan who i causing all the crime on earth

you see for i am cronus, i am saving the world

every idiot at a time

i have a triangle on my palm which means love life no matter what pressure your under

and the fact the triangle is on both palms

means i really love life, despite my schizophrenic brain saying i hate it

you see i know i am not a hooligan, but i was one in the past

but if i had my time again i would undo all the hooligan out

you see my hooligan is the itchy rashy fungus coming into my body

i don’t want it, but i have got it,and unless i try and relax, i will have to live with it

you see i really loved foxtel back then, showing all my mates some shows that are on

and i felt so normal, because people were wanting to come over to watch pay TV

because they were too poor, and i had a technology family and i was fine showing people all the good things about foxtel

you see i had my problems way back in 2004, when the ghosts kidnapped me away from foxtel

and took me to the psych ward to meet the people who are suffering, yeah

you see i liked to drink with my workmates after work ya see

cause i was a party animal, you see right now i am leaving my nasty man up here

while my nice man comes back to earth

i remember steven gasparic came to my house after getting ****** with me

we watched the footy all weekend, he left on sunday afternoon

this was back in 1997, the year the crows won the title against the saints

i said, come on sainters come on sainters you must win today

on that saturday night ya see, the broncos beat the sharks in super league

super league was ok, but the NRL is better

you see we get drunk, as we drink our hooligans away

yeah we feel so cool

You see I am by all means a Buddhist
In a Christian church
I believe in reincarnation and I also like
The atmosphere of a Christian church
You see there are more opportunities to
Help when needs be in the Christian church and by all means I am a Buddhist in a Christian church
You see it happens a lot in the English speaking world because the Buddhist
Temple can be quite boring because there is nothing cool to celebrate
So u will go to the Christian church
To worship their God and celebrate the day Cronus was born because he helped Jesus come to life
And by all means I have to remain
A Buddhist in a Christian church
I like c3 it is so radically awesome
You see I will find it hard but I am not changing from being a Buddhist in a Christian church oh yeah
mind you buddhism has beautiful candle ceremonies, yeah that is so sweet

I'm a boy, I'm a boy


You see I like to listen to heavy metal, really, really loud
And I will play my air guitar to an imaginary crowd
Everyone cheers for our local team with me, and football games
And I will be locked in a room with my friend in iron chains
You see I love partying and I live life every minute
Thinking about the girl's I kissed and all the near misses
And I will go and watch some special event
And I talk to all my chums,and after that I take my bestie out
To get drunk and be dumb
Cause you see, I'm a boy. I'm a boy, but the girl I know doesn't admit it
I' m a boy and I'm a boy, if you want to f..n doubt me, then forget it
You see, I will take you down to Happy days
To play space invaders, but you won't sit and watch me
Cause you prefer Ben 10, and I love to drink so many beers
And maybe if I'm sick of that, I will have a wine
All I need to do that, is to pick then from a vine
I muck around with people I hate, just to be so cool
And yes my dear, I have no enemies, because baby, this is why
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but my girl won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, if you want to f..n doubt me, then forget it
I go to the gym to flex my muscles so I can be strong
And if some **** tried to pick on me, I will tell him to get f..d
And I will also run around the lake with my little bro
We will stop half way, so he can catch his breath
And we just had a good talk, we said things like
Drinking is dumb, only women get a kick from that
And we said, let's do drugs, only women do that too
We said, how about listening to guys music and eating corn ships and salsa
Yes, that's cool, now after that we'll go home Ane talk to Aunty Alsia
You see I'm a boy I'm a boy, but my girl won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, if you want to f..b doubt me then forget it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, please bad man don't take me
I' m a boy I' m a boy, I am cooler than you anyway, man
Oh yeah I am a boy and you are spastic


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My defensive carer named Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo



You see my nice regular carer, Andrew Williams was sick and didn't want go to work
Which put spanner in the works in the office, and they were wondering who will replace him
So they decided to ask Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo a call, and were happy when he said yes
And they forgot to tell his first client, who can be very confusing in conversation
But they forgot to tell that client and Alfreido turned up at his door
And this was the day that Andrew was going to take him for a walk through the domain
Where the Christmas carols, and Alfreido was happy to take him
And they had a cool time, till the client told him about his old carer who was names Reimo
And Aldreido snapped at him, and his client thought that he doesn't understand happiness
And this made him happier, and he started laughing and trying to joke around with Alfreido
And Alfreido did joke with him, and really they started to hit off
And then, so his client mentioned his old carer Reimo and how much of a **** he was
And Alfreido got defensive, in fact he got so angry he nearly hit his client
And this made his client too shy to say anything else
On the risk that Alfriedo was going to do it again
And he even was afraid to speak his mind, in the risk he'll snap at him
And his client were unhappy about how this carer treated him
Especially when they were leaving the domain and there were some teenagers teasing him
And this made his client think that Alfreido was teasing him with the kids
I know he had issues for what he said, but, he though this was very wrongs the way
His carer was behaving, and every time he mentioned Reimo, in hoping that he would
Joke around with you, he will snap, as if you were trying to rob you or something
So at the end when Alfriedo left, he didn 't know what to do
So he rang up the carers organization and told them why Alfreido came instead of Andrew
And they told him they had no choice, it was either Alfreido or no one
And this client said, ok in the future, I will prefer no one, especially if you send him again
Because he is too defensive, when I mention the name of my old carer
And despite telling him why he snapped, he still felt very unsafe
And said, I want you to send no one, or send no one
Because I felt I am offending this carer with anything I say
And I don't know what I really said, and the organisation said, fine
And Alfreido never saw him again,
And the next time Andrew came, and he was very relieved
And told him that the bad carer has gone, and will never return
And Andrew said, yes, mate, I will make sure they don't ever send him again


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To cut the devil out of Brian Allan

Two born again Christians. David, and Andrew decided to drive over to Brian Allan's house, and enter his house, and go into his room, get their bag out, and shove Brian Allan in it, and suddenly Brian Allan was tied to David's sick bed, do Andrew and David can force tbe exercism, on Brian, Brian was screaming, wanting them to unite him, but David said, this is our wish to see the devil out of your body, we're doing this for your own good, you see Andrew wanted you converted over to Christian life, and seriously you aren't a cool person, so Brian Allan, you will be in here forever, or at least till this exercism is over, Brian pleaded for them to free him, thinking it's freedom of speech saying he's a Buddhist, and Andrew said, mate no, Buddhism doesn't exist, and if you can't get that, we have to perform this exercism, and we'll do it now.
Brian was pushing the rope slowly to make it leave his body, but David made sure the rope never left his body, and Brian Allan was screaming, saying, I am a guy, and Andrew said
SILENCE, and them put Brian Allan inside the coffin, where he plans to bury him after the exercism, and then Andrew said, David, we're pulling this off, we need to get rid of this imagination of Brian Allan, so Brian, do you want to be killed and then those child like legs and your younger looking body, look nice dead in a coffin, and Brian said you can never **** me into your little game, fella.
Then Brian shook so fiercely, knowing that, Andrew is a very evil Christian who want to convert people who choose other religion, and also, another thing, David wanted to see Brian suffer for constant arguments with him, this was going to be fun thought David and told Andrew to pick up the knife ready to make the cut, this boy might love life, but he is just about to love death, cause nobody survives exercisms, nobody.
Brian Allan was struggling as Andrew stood over him saying a prayer stating that Andrew plans to rip Btian's body apart, and personally remove all traces of the devil which is lurking around in his body, first he made a cut in his legs, which unlike all men, looked like a child's leg, and he tried to put the knife right in the back of the knee, which the victim, Brian Allan calls the ships, and on the other side, the front side, was the moo cows, and as Brian was lying there, it looked like he was ****** doomed.
Then after he finished that, Brian was suffering, but it was David's turn, and he drove it through Brian's heart, and Brian Allan died and Andrew and David, continued the kidnapping, and buried Brian with the symbol of peace, so the devil can't harm him anymore.
Brian floated around the after life, and he was safe,but he did wonder what life would be like, if he wasn't so naive.


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The aliens are coming to put weight on your feet





You see I haven't got any social skills, and I haven't got a decent job
But still people like preaching to me, and they will relax so annoyingly
As if they are really sick of you, or something similar like that
It's alright to be normal adults, and do normal Things
But it's when you preach, and you seem to have even my folks
As cooler people than me, they aren't cool, they don't want to do anything good
The only reason they went on a cruise is because I thought of it
I am cool, and i have fun everywhere, and I party and relax
And take lots of great pictures, yes, that's so cool
I seem to have an adult relationship with other people
But to my family, I am just a little kid, but I ain't a kid
And I feel the aliens are around trying to make my feet feel very tired
I see the aliens are biting my feet, and taking the tips of my feet
For a little spin, yes I am sitting in my living room
Being chewed alive by flesh eating aliens, yes they have abducted me
When I go anywhere with my parents, all the cool people talk to my parents
As if they are cool, and you can say, they're not, I am cool
I don't want people to bash me, or something
They think I ain't normal, and I say that's true, I ain't normal
I am abnormal, especially when normal is drinking beer
And eating more junk food, than you can poke a stick at
And also I think normal also to everyone is  being stupid
And I think that sounds cool as long as it is clean stupid
And not going out robbing banks and stealing cars
The types of things that aliens force you to be
The aliens were getting caught in my body making
Me say that I was 323 years old, and I was born on Christmas day
And the aliens made me say that 23 times in one day
To shop assistants and people down the pub as well as over the web
I even said it to close friends, and they got sick of me, yeah
Then I said the reason I said it, is if you add my ages together
I will be 323 years old, which I didn't say straight away
And it confused him a ****** lot, he kept saying
Stop saying you're 323 years old


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We are the boys who go out and party, and get into trouble, oh yeah we're bad


You see I went to the club to watch a really cool band
For starters it took a while to start and when it did
I was the only one dancing, you see I was the only cool one there
And I went to the Brumbies and I yelled when they dropped the ball
Saying we stink we stink we stink
Then after that we went to an old house in Wanniassa
And I knocked on the door and this lady answered and said
How are you little cool dude, I am the evil white witch of Canberra
Who are you, you fine gentlemen, who are you
I said I am Brian Allan, and I am the head cool boy here in Canberra
The evil white witch said, not for long, I have Mark Marlor and Brendan Schultz
Both captured in my den in the backyard, yes it looks like a chicken coop
And I want you too, because mate, you are a little brat who hangs around witch's houses
I tried to escape, but the witch before my eyes, zapped me in chains in the den
With Mark and Brendan, and this was going to be doom for us
The white witch wanted to feed us, because he wanted us to fatten up
For the big feast, which was in about 2 weeks from now
And these three Canberra kids are the Canberra kids who will bring peace to the city
For the centenary, yes the white witch was sitting in her chair saying I have the cool kids
Mark, Brendan and Brian were saying, we are the boys who go out and party
And get into trouble. Oh yeah we're bad, cause we end up being chained in an evil white witch's backyard den, and we are by all means doomed
The witch came down to the den and said, have you boys gained fat yet
You 3 can no longer be muscle boys, cause you are my prisoners
I have you forever, kiddies
The white witch made sure that Brendan,Mark and Brian were securely chained in so tightly, and then went on a little walk around Canberra trying to find more Canberra crowd kids to catch, and he walked past the Duffy shops and the white witch saw Luke Salvorg who was. Under 12 for Weston Creek and he was riding his bike down tbe road, and yes, like all sports boy, he thought he was never going to be kidnapped, because he was too loud and too fit, but the white witch waved her arms and suddenly Luke found himself in the witch's den chained up, he was scared and Mark Marlor, who knew him, said, we must eat, because we are going to be the food at a dinner party, you see we all are kidnapped by an evil white witch, and don't worry she only wants boys, because boys are tough
You see, we are the boys who go out to party and get into trouble, oh yeah, we're bad, cause we end up being chained in an evil white witch's backyard den, Luke said please mummy rescue me, please, and I want you to do it now



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A dis abled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing



You see disabled man just bludgers, and if any pretty young
Lady starts working to help them, they play with their hair
And quite often really annoys them, and it is not just because
They are playing with their hair, no they don't know squat
About how to get out there and actually work
Well, they will work, but in small lots and also
They will take days off to go to see parades
And then look at all the workers, saying
You stupid little ******, little fool
You are trying too ****** hard to teach us how to work
And you are making us laugh so hard
Of course whether he would say that, no one knows
Cause he is disabled, he doesn't really know any better
He thinks he is being cool with us
The best thing to do is have a lot of fun
And not get in the bosses way, at any time
Especially if the boss yells at them, or gets sick of them
Instead of keeping around them like them like a bad smell
Like the disabled man usually does, and let me tell you
He can display signs of anger and it often interferes with
Their work, and after that the disabled man
Will crack himself laughing if anybody was getting yelled at by the boss
Like he is in primary school, you know the way kids act when
You get in trouble with the teacher
The disabled man does work, but you know
Often they show limitations and also they are too disabled
To know why things happen, and I start to think, that
The reason why liberals hate disabled people
Is they can be angry little *****
When they ****** think they're right
The dis abled man will work but they still will act
Like a kid, when they are either told to clean up
Or go over the job again, because they are trying to tease
Yes,  dis abled men have no work ethics, still like school atmosphere, and
A disabled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing


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hi dudes


when i first moved into my new flat, i remembered seeing adults relaxing in the bed, i can’t help looking in

i was walking up the stairs, and i saw this fat lady relaxing in her bed waiting for her shift at the hospital

and i was cleaning my house so i can make it like a hotel/motel, so i can make myself love life more with

my truthful but negative friend, and i was eating dinner at 5.00 and after that i had two chocolates

and when i started running, sure, i felt great, but walking is better for me.

you see i was saying to myself i love my beautiful mummy about 100 times, and canberra are probably calling

me a freak or saying shut up disable or something like that, you see i like the bed how i want, i just moved my

bed near the dining room and i was battling voices from carers and family saying, it will look horrible near the kitchen

but i feel the  motel atmosphere , where i can enjoy life, and my head is really slowing my body down,

but i will try and write a great story, you see since 2004, i became a writer, to get the delusions out of my head

you see i kept a lot of stories on my computer till i felt good enough to send these stories and i am popular, you see

i feel the itch on my fingers and i have cracked feet and i want a pill to get  rid of my cracked feet, i don’t like thugs

treating me like a loser, because, you see i said every day, i love my beautiful mummy and my big heavy body, **** it’s hard

work carting this big body around, but i’ll manage and i know i am very lazy, where i sit down and there is always something on the floor

and when i try and clean my house, my voices are controlling my body, making housework a daunting task, i still am messy

because every time i clean my house i get more crazy voices of old mates treating me like a cool kid, saying, i will sit here watching you, while you

while you hear these vioices every day till you die, and we are having fun teasing brian, but i write my problems out of me

and i am showing you in my pictures how shades of partying, halloween and canberra cavalry and the hometime party

and as i said, i sponsor a kid with world vision, i feel great about doing this, i remember arguing with mum a lot

and that was because i was having problems, i didn’t want to hurt her, i love my mum,  there is an itch in my stomach, which goes

‘we are treating you like a cool kid,’to my old mates, you see my voices are created by the simpsons, and i am  bart simpson, but

i am not wanting the TV to take over my voices, and i use my buddhist beliefs to stop it, and my uncle Ray pocock now lives in nicoragua

his next life is luis exequiel gonzales cruz and he is my current kid i am sponsoring through and i, who was put on this earth to save the world,

well, i am trying to brighten up his world, and ray will be trying to rebuild his new life, while his last life’s nephew brian allan is his sponsor

you see buddha brought luis to brian allan, so ray pocock gets his wish being helped by his old family, i used to say before ray died, i love my beautiful mummy

and i love life so much, to make uncle ray pocock’s next life luis gonzales cruz, i will help you

i remember eating hot cross buns at easter and also easter eggs and had heaps of fun at our christmas eve with ray’s sister in law

guess what!, i just found out that john f kennedy died in 1963

and i offer my condolences to you and guess what!

martin luther king died in 1968, i don’t understand but they both died

guess what! mrs baker died and i have no idea who died in the civil war

do you know, know what, who died in the civil war

no, but i can tell you, many people died in the civil war

my reincarnation died in the civil war, learn buddhism

because they will have the answers you will need

guess what!  paul berenyi died, that is a shame

i learnt it off the paper back in 1995

guess what!  elizabeth montgomery died, and so did agnes moorehead

two TV witches dead, but agnes moorehead became sabrina the teenage witch, ya know melissa joan hart

guess what!  richie benaud died, and he is waiting for his next life

you see i have heard about these negative deaths, and i wish you will stop

death isn’t uplifting, it’s negative, ever so negative

i believe in spreading positivity around this world

and talking about these deaths don’t help

we need to keep positive in us, ok, and then he said, guess what

frank sinatra died, but that is a negative thing to say

but i like talking about death, but it’s very negative, ya see, then he said

guess what!  robert palmer died, ya know the guy who thought he was simply irreistable into being addicted to love

sure makes your day doesn’t it, she said, no it doesn’t, talking about death is negative, i tell ya

and if you don’t stop talking about death, i will make you next

but guess what! news flash, i like talking about death, i have an uplifting version of death

you see when people die, they come back to life

cause guess what! billy thorpe died, he has been dead for ages, mate, quit talking negative

you need to be positive ya know, you see i will do a giant **** in my living room, i feel lousy

drop the **** in the toilet, feeling much better, you see i can tell you who dies

guess what! trevor barker died, he has been dead for ages, you are a very negative person

guess what! scott mcdonald died, well, you just love being negative

guess what!, christians are kidnappers after your fucken soul, well you are showing me

what happens on youth group, well, i don’t want to know, cause it’s negative, i believe in being a peaceful positive buddhist

people die, they come back to life, people die, they come back to life

you see i go to the phoenix, for the poetry slam, i try and bring back graham kennedy

because guess what! graham kennedy died, i said, mate, he’s been dead for ages

and you mate are being ever so negative, he said, no, death is uplifting, it is uplifting

how you die and then come back to life

guess what! smoky dawson died, but he has been dead for a while

but i saw him at the anzac day march, so television is right yet again

guess what! guess what!  guess what! 1 person dies 1 person gets reborn

the circle of life, don’t ya think

you see last night i went to some mattes house and he told me of all the bad

stuff i did, especially the day ii tied people up, and about the time i teased everyone at the mall

and he sat in his house saying to me, wanna can of beer, sand then he said, go to bed, buddy, there

is nothing for you here and i said, i am reformed now, all that is in the past

and he said, it’s alright for you to say it’s in  the past, you did it, meanwhiles we suffer from P T S D

and you \take your medication like a good little boy, while we suffer

and then i said, i have schizophrenia, a form of mental illness, and he said

you mean you are a mental head and i said yes, i am a mental head and

all the bad stuff that i done is all due to that and then he started teasing me something fierce

because me being mental seemed to make him happy,and i said i want you to understand

that i am suffering just like you, and he said, no you are having a good time

and me calling you mental is the best thing i can ever do to stop you, you see i want you

to go to floriade and i want people to give you P T S D and then i want canberra never to have

a christmas parade and i want the excuse is, we haven’t got any money to fund it, actually the

only parades i want in canberra are little kids easter bonnet parades where you get into trouble

for taking photographs, and i said, mate, don’t you want fun, here, and he said, yeah i want fun

the fun i have when i am teasing you, and i said, please forgive me, and except i have a mental illess

because, maybe i am the reason for your P T S D and i have excepted that, you need to except that i

did all that because i am mentally ill, i said i don’t deserve being teased like that, i have a voice, i need to

BE HEARD and he said, what crap, the only voice you have are your mentally ill voices and then he said

if you really want to be heard, you could’ve done that when you were young and like us, now after you

gave us P T S D, it’s mighty hard to forgive you, and then i said, i am suffering too, i have a mental illness

and then he said, i don’t want to hear your problems with your mentally ill brain and then he said you should never

tell anyone that you have a mental illness particurily if you are the reason why you are suffering, and then he said

i dopn’t care what athena is doing up there with your teeth, or whatever became of the drug ice and why don’t they use

methane anymore, then he told me, i am a criminal instead of being mental, so never say your mentally ill, you are just a *******

bleeding criminal, you lost your gnomes you painted at floriade, because i want you to suffer like a criminal does

never tell us your mental, just except our punishment for a criminal like you, i yelled SHUT UP, AND LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE

he said, neh, and went off to a party i wasn’t invited to because of my mental illness causing their P T S D.

briano alliano performing on jupiter




i wish people would treat me normal

like a cool family person should be treated

i wish they would stop trying to bug me, no mate no, i hate it

i don’t like people poking me, it drives me up the wall

you see i am a family person, i don’t like people poking me at all

i know people love to poke me, because they think it is kinda fun

but i can say oh pretty one, it’s not fun for me

i don’t want people to get me back for what i do to them

cause, ya see, that is how hooligans get treated

and i am not a hooligan

ya see god, is a made up being, what is wrong with believing in buddha

i never liked people poking me, just leave me alone

you see their constant poking made me feel like a hooligan oh yeah

how they tried to get me off the seat, saying your not like your father, no

but i have the right, to do what i want, i am a family person, anyway

i hate being called a woos, i wish people would understand that

i like computers as well

computers are totally radical dude, in every sort of way

i don’t want people to tease me, cause they were called pat me grind and i was called brains

you can’t change the past ya see, it’s not my fault that you were pat me grind

i know, people are stupid when they do that stupid poking about

poking is what you give a hooligan when they are too shy to muck with the family

but i am a family person who has paranormal visions

i can’t help that i can muck around with the dead

i can’t help that i can workout previous life patterns

i think people are crazy, if they try and reform beliefs

because these are my beliefs, these are my beliefs

reincarnation can make death up-lifting

point to the sky to see what you can find

whether you can see jupiter or saturn

and at the night you will see the moon, yeah that sounds mighty fine to me

i don’t want to be treated like a little shy boy, i ain’t shy at all

though i don’t want to fight, but i want to PARTY

yeah that sounds so very cool

picture in your mind what you see

the rightful serving of the lord

i hate these devil worshipping reading minds freaks who think they can really dampen my spirits, on noseree

you see i love life too much to let that worry me

i don’t want to be a shy koomarri who just cleans his house, BORING, mind you i do clean my house sonny Jim

i feel hooligans trying to poke all over my body, to take the family person out of me

please leave me alone, for i am now a real family person can’t ya see

here is my next song

you see hooligans trying to poke the family person out of me

because my stories of previous lives is boring them, poor babies

they are little kids, and they are as ******* as ****

i am a cool koomaerri oh yeseree

you see these poems are computer power yeah

though i understand what can happen with social media, i still am rather famous oh yeseree

on the top of the world looking down on creation and on every planet i can find

any dream will do, my mate and open a can of methane my mate, i will see you at the top of the world

and there is nothing wrong with an adult partying, just don’t poke me

you see i am hearing myself with a mate named james

you see i used to tease james while he was trying to type, and i need people to understand i am reformed

i am top of the world looking down on jupiter and i wish you can stop poking me

because i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, you see james pederson was a total ****

and he sai hoy hoy hoy don’t tease me, he was easy to flaming tease

and i carried it a bit far at the football, when i teased him again, and i knocked him over

and i felt on top of the world looking down on that baby, you see he is ******* as a fucken ****

i know i don’t do that anymore, please don’t get me back for it

because while on medication i feel on top of the world

you see i never really helped anyone as a child, but i tried to make up for that as an adult

because i am a family person anyway, i8 teased all the kids at school, making them feel uncomfortable

now, i am on medication and i feel on top of the world

when i was young i looked as being mental as stupid

and we used to make jokes about teasing people at kenmore

but when i found out i am mental too, the shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it

i felt on top of the world looking over crazy people, never knowing i will be one of them

all i want is to be treated like a internet ****** and let bygons be bygons

as i am a reformed man anyway

just meet me at the top of the world, dudes

last night at the poetry slam i felt like my youth was coming back to me

you see one young bloke went up to me and said don’t forget to cheer

on my mate, it’s his first time, and he keeps his poems to his heart

and i don’t think i am an old timer, because of my love of social media

you see i like the poetry slam because it helps an middle-aged dude like me

to find my mojo, and there are a lot of people who ain’t game enough to read

their stuff because of the heckling, but this young bloke last night really stole the show

i wasn’t clapping to be nice, i think he had a lot of talent and here is a song

you see it’s a great trip to the poetry slam, on his first night ever

you see he stole the night away, and might i add he won oh yeah

you see he had a whole lot of fun

and also dude, he blew everybody off their seat

you see i like poetry slams, because they are so much fun

you see it’s hard for a poor guy like me, to get anywhere on the buses yeah

you see the canberra bus service, dude, is so stupid yeah

the canberra government only care about the rich

they don’t give a **** about the poor

the poetry slam is a way i can really show everyone what i have

i don’t want to be one of those oldies who is too shy to go out

i don’t want to be one of those oldies who worries about family members

i don’t want to be treated like a bad smell, just because of my cracked feet

i don’t want to be treated like a shy person all my life

i am into computers in a big way, so deal with it, big fat rich ****** of this world

i don’t want to be shy at the mall, i like the mall, but not to sit there all day and night

i have a life to lead, i want to be famous, well, people, i am already famous on youtube

and Facebook, even if people film me on the street, when i am dancing, that doesn’t bother me

if you want to film me just to laugh at me, go right ahead, as long as that is all you do

i probably am on Facebook in a famous way, because i have been attracting attention to other people

in the last 8 years, i don’t want people to treat me like an old fogie because i really really extremely love life

i clean my house, and i know how to look after myself, i prefer to catch buses as opposed to getting lifts with strangers

don’t forget i am a person, i don’t care if you wanna tease, but i hate horrible teasing, for i am a real family person

you see mate, last night i really enjoyed myself, and if you want to catch me on bad slam search badslamnobiscuit on yioutube or Facebook

and watch the whole 2 hour show, because i did my own tribute to the great graham kennedy

you see i don’t want to be treated like a hooligan, i liked that man in the july poetry slam at the phoenix

you see he really lifted my spirits high and i liked the young dudes last night, yeah he was rad

when i got home, i watched june’s poetry slam on youtube, and dude, i sounded great

because i don’t believe in horrible teasers treating me like an old fogie, trying to get me to look worried

i don’t **** people off, but i am aware of my age, but i go to poetry slams to have fun

i go on youtuibe to have fun, i write stories to have fun, FUN, i tell you, i go to the christmas carols to have fun

i don’t want voices trying to get me to **** myself, i love my life for that

i know when i was young, i was a tad different to the other kids, but i wasn’t shy, i played basketball i played bowling

i went down the waterside at jamison and i wasn’t scared and i went to the movies

i went to the raiders every weekend, and mate i was a real teaser, and i know i am getting older, but i am ready

to make the poetry slam really work for me, you see i remember when paul berenyi asked me to look at these dogs

and he stuck a drawing pin on my ***, i felt, what fucken give dude, and i wrestled with micheal wright on the green grass

i know i am old now, and i can’t expect young udders to like me, like they used to, but i had a great conversation with

this man named rodney about things that make the poetry slam great

you see my voices are in the past, i ain’t living in the past, i really like my life at the moment

i don’t care if i look like my dad when i am on my computer, but i love computers, i always loved computers

i am constantly told in my head, my poems ****, but i can’t expect everyone to like them, but they should keep their opinions to themselves

because nothing anyone will say to me, will jeopardise my performances at the poetry slam, because it’s so much fun

i must admit, i get inspired my kids on youtube and television

i know i was a koomarri to muck around with, and i still believe in mucking around with my old school friends

i just don’t like these odd movements i get from my medication, i want to lift all my bad fiucked up thoughts up

but that is all, no more, i believe in having a lot of fun, reading writing and watching youtube

i only went to the mall all the time when i was living in mum and dads backyard, to show my independence

and now, i don’t need to be there 24 hours a day, be cause i have my own flat now, i am independent

i really hate when people are trying take my cool credits away just because i ain’t doing what they say

you see i am planning to go on a holiday on the first weekend of october to bate mans bay

and i am off to the carols in the domain on the 19th december

and i might not have very much money, but i can still plan holidays, i want to go Perth one day

i hate when the ghost of my father is trying to make me clean my house the way i used to

cause ya know what used to did, he just used to, my house is clean, occasionally i like to fall asleep on the couch

and do my tapestry, you see dad is being a dad, as he is trying to make me remember my past

i ain’t living or dwelling in the past, i believe in being nice to the youth of today

because they are the future, and i wish online stalkers will leave the young dudes alone

because social media is fun for people of all ages

you see, i want to show the world, how much i support the youth of today

the intellectually disabled and the mentally ill, of today

because my voices are judging me because of my past, and i hate that

saying, don’t muck with brian, because he kidnapped a kid

the truth is i never kidnapped a kid, i just was a crazy person back then, and i don’t want to dwell in that, alright

and i want to enjoy doing badslamnobiscuit, despite my voices saying i am not young

i don’t want people treating me like a cool kid to a tease, ok, i know my stuff can really entertain for this and future generations, dude

so, let’s have fun, dude

am at the rainbow and to my surprise the cooking group has been cancelled
Oh what a shame dear god desr fella
You see it's enough to drive you completely bonkers because I am having thoughts of when I cooked at the rainbow and it gone all crazy
You see I am a bit crazy thinking it is a job and all but I want to rid all the horrible teasing from my brain and the cooking group would have been a good thing to do today because it would have given me the thoughts that I had in 2003 when I was well and another's thing too
I would have felt better in the process
It is not my cup of tea to be like these people here because they are crazy abd stupid and I want a chance to be the best of my ability
I know this looks weird but I just enjoy sitting in the nice peaceful room
You see I wavt to open or work at a homeless shelter where I can help the homeless get a hot meal and I want to start up pool competitions between the poor people of this community
You see they are suffering every day
And some of the workers don't give a rats *** about what happens to the poor all because they are very lazy
But I think they need to be given a break because they have problems
Abd as long as are looked after they will
Be alright

You will make Ma feel like I was your best friend that I have ever had
Playing around in the park
You see I wanna feel happy about being alive in this building and boy would you love to see how many chicken **** dudes are walking around trying to find
Out where their next meal is coming from and my best friend that I have ever had is climbing over mountain after mountain and as I reached the top I said
Cowabunga dude and I partied right from start to finish, you see I miss my father, so I watch his next life because
Dad is unleashing his spirit onto her very tiny body and I am sitting here thinking seeing my dead grandfathers spirit walking around and everyone is sleeping and falling to drop off into outer space

i am not a rich ****, i am a home body

i don’t want to be a street kid, cause i am a homebody

i don’t want to be a bigger anything, i am a homebody

i ain’t an old fogie, i am a homebody

i don’t want to get teased, just because i like staying home, because i am a homebody

i don’t want to get killed on the street, cause i am a homebody

i don’t want to get evicted from my flat, because i am a homebody

i don’t want to be treated like a homeless person, cause i am a homebody

i still want to help homeless people get a good life, cause i am a nice home body

i don’t want to holiday in the YWCA, i prefer a 5 star hotel, like a homebody

i don’t want to carry my belongings to the sports events

i leave it at the hotel like a homebody

i am not a hooligan, i am a homebody

i don’t want to be treated like a christian, because i say am a homebody

i am a buddhist homebody, i really likes to PARTY

i want to respect my neighbours, though, cause i am a homebody

i still want to go to the poetry slam and have fun, but i am a homebody

i want to go to the carols by candlelight, just like a homebody does

taking a picnic lunch, just like a homebody does

i am planning my holidays, like a homebody

it’s hard, but it doesn’t bother me, cause i need money, like a homebody does

i do my art and be creative, like a homebody

i write my stories, like a homebody

homebody home body 1 2 3

i am a homebody can’t you see

i don’t believe in being horrible to the homeless

cause i am a nice home body, can’t you see

i am a homebody, and proud of it, i am a cool homebody

in the years between 1100 and 1167 there were two doctors who lived in peking in china

who were looking after the townsfolk, they didn’t have the technology they have today, just coca cola

and methane and yetta, which is now currently known as ICE and they had mould, which helped in

the process of deep cuts and ebrasions, one doctor was harry darker and with him was his wife franceska

darker, and they changed the feel of china, saving people’s lives, you see back then, anger was the most

desirable thing, which meant, if you got angry, you have to wait even longer, harry darker was the ICE king

and loved to experiment with it to one day end the world of suffering, and also harry gave methane to kids

when they had chest colds, but methane wasn’t the best thing for it, but there was nothing else, so they

had to make do with methane, franceska specialised aliens, you see let me explain that further, you see

people are aliens and every day we have to understand that aliens are dead earthlings and what people heal’

themselves up there with, should heal well, down here on earth, you see franceska used to go around on foot with methane

and ICE in her backpack ready to heal the wounded chinese travellers who are going about their journeys, and

franceska was so good at her job, she was asked to be the doctor aboard the boat to england to help make people better,

unfortunately harry wasn’t allowed to leave china because he didn’t have a 1100s passport, which was a medicine license

you see harry just knew what he was doing, and nobody knew what he was doing, but then he met franceska, who was a

licensed doctor, but of all the things franceska did to help harry, giving him a license wasn’t at the top of her list, and besides

which franceska knew that there wasn’t a hope in hell for the authorities to find out the truth, so they just turned the other cheek

and then franceska boarded the boat and was ready for a voyage of a lifetime to visit London in england, on the way there, 13 paople

saw franeska, complaining about back aches, which franceska gave them some ICE, and a few people worried that their minds

were starting to go crazy and franceska gave them methane, which today wouldn’t be trusted, but franceska, also helped a few of

the ships children, by giving them ICE, to calm them down, and then, franceska went down to the kitchen to have her lunch getting

lots of good replies as she passes and days and days went by, as franceska was seeing patients and then they entered the united kingdom

where they dropped off the chinese immigrants and picked up the british immigrants going to china, and franceska sat down at the british port

hoping that, she can finish this journey as she missed harry, and on the way back to china, some of the british went to franceska for medical help

but the british were too proud to let her help them, because for the simple reason, they didn’t believe in this kind of medicine despite it is this medicine

or death and then henry the 5th came in to visit franceska complaining about stomach cramps, and franceska gave him methane and mould from cheese

to rub on the stomach 3 times a day, and this might sound crazy, but this plan was smart enough to work and henry the 5th did the wrong thing, you see he

overdosed on methane and ate the mould, which wasn’t a great idea and franceska said to henry that wasn’t your smartest decision, wasn’t it and henry said

i am sorry, i just have got a decease of when i have something in my room, i will eat it, and franceska said, ok i will give you some ICE, but you mustn’t overdose

because this drug can be fatal and this made henry scared to overdose and took the ICE and went to his room and this time he didn’t overdose on it, but

the methane was beginning to make him feel sick, after him overdosing on it, and then david greatless came in to see franceska complaining about really bad

stomach cramps, maybe from the poison from the fish they had at dinner and Franceska gave him ICE, to settle his stomach down and after 2 days of taking

the ICE his stomach stopped aching and when they arrived back in china, franceska went to harry and they went about their normal practice, and people were injured

left right and centre and franceska in about 4 weeks, was asked to be on the boat to the USA and, this was a very bad journey as franceska had her hands full

with a flu epidemic and everyone got the flu, especially the ship’s crew, and then the boat stopped because nobody was fit enough to steer it, with the only well

person being franceska, who didn’t know how to steer a boat, but she did try and the boat ran out of gas and franceska fell off the boat into the ocean and despite

her losing the methane and ICE overboard, franceska swam with all her might, to hopefully find land and then after she almost gave up hope, she arrived on

this island which is now known as Australia, on the port of adelaide, and despite franceska being a helper of all, she arrived at port adelaide really cold and hungry

and had no memory of why she was in the ocean, franceska went under the name of terri halter and lived in a rundown farm near where the adelaide cbd is now

and while she was there she drew these lovely pictures which made the townsfolk very happy and in about 3 more weeks franceska died and if you are worried about the boat

someone noticed them and they were saved, but that was franceska’s last ship as a doctor, and that ship became one of her art works, in her next life, franceska was betty robson

who lived in a place which is currently california, and she loved that family

i am franceska butler and i looked over harry in china, for 5 years before harry sadly passed away

as i said, i am franceska

you see i am a family person

i don’t want to have cyber bullying get the better of me

you see i ain’t calling for it, i don’t want it, i just want to get respected

i don’t want crazy people cyber bullying me

like today, i saw this crazy person following me

i tell him to *******, you see crazy people walk strangely and stop every 5 minutes

i know i have to be careful, but i want these people to get away from me

i am a guy, who needs a break, please leave me alone

for i am a family person who needs a break from life

i hate the army, i hate being shy, i hate hooliganism

so why don’t you leave me the duck alone

when i feel my body, there is an itch, which is the cool kid i used to be

and if i ignore that, i get treated like a shy person

in which i can’t stand, you see i want to be treated like i am a person

who is a tad different to the other people

you see when people get an itch, it’s simply an itch

but for me, it’s my cool kid coming back, or it’s my shy person

i want these visions to stop, i don’t know why i get these visions, i could be different, but i won’t admit it

i class myself as the same as everyone else

i think it’s an awful thing to call me a shy person

because i ain’t shy, i can talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles

you see i don’t want to be a victim opt cyber bullying because it can be dangerous

i feel my childhood cool kid coming back into my foot, but i will find it hard because nobody understands what kind of cool kid i mean

you see cyber crime is awful, nd in hindsight it’s not what i am about, but i still find my poems great, greater than anyone else’s

my artwork is great too, and if i make a selling, it’ll mean i am part of the world, in a big way

mind you i felt part of the world when my youtuibe videos were getting good views, it made me happy

i am not saying i am better than the world, but i know i don’t want to be treated like a shy person or like i am too woosey for life

i am watching neighbours and what happened to ben kirk is wrong, because he doesn’t want it

and a lot of social media, is that nobody wants to be put all over it

the only hooligan i am, is if family people bully on social media, i prefer to be a hooligan

you see i put my writing and art and my youtube interests on Facebook and nothing more

because i don’t want to be a crazy person who gets bullied on social media

i hear voices from people who say, shut up ****, your still.like us

i am too old for the hype of facebook, i prefer to be left alone to enjoy life

my feet are bringing my cool kid back to me, and leave my shy person to go down greener pastures

you see one person goes, no, no, no, let me tease you

you are a hooligan, and we wanna tease you

no no no, we want your money, we want your money

give me your money, give me your money

you see you are still a young dude, your not like your father

no no no, don’t do what you used to do

no no no, you are so easy to tease

i tod them, i am not easy to tease, i am a nice family person

i don’t believe in being horrible, so leave me alone, i am a person

no no no, your not like me, you are still getting teased, buddy

no no no, you are still getting teased

you see your mate is like us brian, your not like us, cause your easy to tease

no no no, your not like us, don’t do tapestries, because your still a young dude

young dudes don’t do tapestries, and you are still a young dude, buddy

i said, i like doing art and if that doesn’t make me a young dude, well i am not a young dude

be4cause i want to be an artist, i am an artist

i don’t want to be treated like a hooligan, or my brother

i am a family person

no no no, your not a family person, no no no your not a family person

then he grabbed some tucker from his fridge and ate it, saying brian is still a family person

and then said no, don’t be like us, no don’t, be like us, buddy

because you are still a young dude, buddy, and you are not like us, buddy

i said, leave me al;one, i am a family person, and i don’t want to constantly be treated like a young dude to a tease

no no no, don;t do what you used to do, no don’t, do what you used to do brian

actually, brian that is what you are meant to do, ya know woosey

no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t

i said i don’t want to be treated like a little young dude to a tease anymore

please leave me alone, and then he said, no no no, no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t

and every time i moved around, he would say that i was a fucken ******, and then said no don’t do what you used to do

cause your easy to tease, briany, your so easy to tease, no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t, buddy

your easy easy, easier to teazse, i said i am not easy to tease, leave me alone

and then he said, don’t say leave me alone, no don’t

i am a family person, not a target to tease, so leave me alone, ****

no no no, don’t speak up for yourself, be like us, no don’t do what ya used to do either, no don’t

i am not a hooligan and they say, yes you are your still a hooligan brian, be like us

i said, no, i want to be a family person, and he said, no don’t do what you used to do

this is going on forever in my mind, please let me get peace

When weak people tease


You see as people go about every day life, they push people around a lot and also another thing they do as well, you see mate is try and tease in a way to make people jitter and even if they might not look like they don't know how to tease, they are teasing they are trying to bring all their friends together and tease them, and they are trying to tease the little shy boy, even if that they are little shy boys anyway, because at least I have a life and I want to be rich and famous, while people are trying to tease in so many ways, like one way they are prepared to say shut up **** every time he says something and when he goes on the computer, he can hear his dad saying be a little teasie, because his dad said that he us shy and some young hooligans said we'll kidnap him to tease him, even if they are trying to make him jitter, even if they are as weak as ****** ****, you see people should do volunteer work and do are had write poems and be cool, while my dad is saying your still either a kid or a lady and my new mate is teasing me with his friends, first he invites me over, so he can be helped by me and then he invitesj some other mentally ill people over and started to tease me with his friends because he is saying that your still a little shy boy, and he will say that he ain't shy to complain about work and remain poor, just as
Long as he has his fun teasing, and he says that that you are still a defensive little **** and you know you need to realise that I ain't shy to tease you buddy, I will drink alcohol over you and then I will go to pub and have a few alcoholic beverages avd say that you are still getting teased even if it makes him look like a ****** geek, and only geeks tease like that anyway, because they try to tease in so many ways and even if they are little geeky kids, they try and avoid being treated like a geek by saying that they are a teasing but the thing is whether they are teasing or not, they are still a pack of geeks and they will all die long and painfull deaths, and they aren't really cool but they will say that they are teasing to avoid getting teased themselves, they are all a pack of shy ***** who really aren't coping with life very well, so they try and tesse, and that is the end of another instalment

computers are fun but can be frustrating

you see you may call it challenging

]but a tad frustrating

but i am battling my voices of being called a woosey

but i am not a woos, i am a poet, a fantastic poet

woosey woosey woosey says my old school mates

as i don’t want to be called a woos all my life

i don’t think i am new and improved, i am a writer

i don’t believe in violence, i don’t believe in guns

ik want to keep my conservative friends right up the ***

you see i am not a hooligan, i am not a woos

please leave me alone you big *******

i don’t want to be treated like a baby young dude, so leave me alone

my school mates don’t understand that i really liked computers

look what i done, i fooled everyone

because i never ever wanted to be treated like a hooligan, NEVER

i want to be jolly, oh ****** jolly

the happiest man in the whole world

you see i hate yelling on the street

because i see people i know turn off me

you see i am a jolly happy soul, i believe in having fun

i likeb to boot conservos, out on their bums

i want to work in a toy factory, making toys for boys and girls

you see i am a family morals man, chuck your morals in the dunny

i want to help the kids of today, be happy little kids indeed

i am jolly, like santa claus, ** ** **, merry christmas

i am a family person, who loves to do art

i wrote a christmas carol titled silent ****

i wrote summer weather and summer wonderland too

as well stop dreaming of a white christmas

you see people want to fight me, i don’t know why

for i am a nice person, from the earth to the sky

i am not a little kid, i am a cool man, oh yeah

i drink heaps and heaps of soft drink as a replacement for a nice can of beer

i don’t preach to other people, man

so i expect nobody to preach to me

i am a buddhist artist, who is struggling, and i love to party hardy won’t ****** sturdy

i want to work, but i ain’t ready for LEAD yet

because i am a bit upset that 2xx hasn’t called me, for me to read my stories

i am not shy, but i believe i ain’t a hooligan

you see i was a hooligan this afternoon thinking i was teasing the little young dudes

but i don’t want to be a rich arrogant ****

i rang up lifeline today, because i felt my voices were becoming too much

one mate i really liked, was pat because he showed me how to cut loose and party

and i know he ain’t my daddy, but he was a very good friend

so i rang up lifeline, to calm down these voices

i don’t want to get teased by my brother and patrick, you see they will say

what’s that your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

it drives me crazy, AAAAAAAAAH!

cause i am a jolly old should and a jolly old soul am i

i don’t want these schizophrenic voices

because i am smart enough to realise they ain’t true

i am a family person who loves art, and that is whist i do

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting