i prefer to be a freak than a cool kid to a tease, cause i ain’t stupid

you see i wanna be a loving freak who loves to muck with family and friends

i don’t want to be a cool kid, for the simple reason i ain’t a kid anymore

i ain’t stupid, i ain’t really much of a freak either

i want to be loved by all, i ain’t into being called a freak in voices

if freaks are nice to each other, i am a nice freak

but i ain’t stupid

i want to be a man going to the mall to do my stuff

you see i want to be a freak, if this is what they do

my mate says, yeah but

i go ribbit ribbit

what do ya think i say

ribbit ribbit

what do ya think i say

i’m a freak and i am a ******

i sort of act like a spazzo

i am weird to your point of view

but weird isn’t in my vocabulary

i just want to live my life to the full

you go yeah but

i go  ribbit ribbit what are you going to do

ribbit ribbit what are you going to say

i don’t fancy getting teased for the rest of my life

just because i was a freak getting into plenty of strife

you go yeah but

i go ribbit ribbit what do ya think i know

ribbit ribbit when are you quitting the show

you go yeah but

i go ribbit, like the little green frog swimming in the water

the argument of the universe, ends the life of youtube sensation, caleb



in the great saturn club rings on thursday october 1 2015m peter sargent and ted bundy

had a very strong argument which really was beginning to turn nasty, first ted ******* paul berenyi

and snatched greame thorne and adam walsh, making their earth bodies really shook up

you see greame thorne is me, brian allan from canberra and adam walsh is some young man who was

killed by the parramatta terrorist and peter sargent came up to ted bundy, and said, stop this, i mean

you should stop this, and ted said, i am slowing the earth down, so you will be good to mind your own business

but peter said, neh, i don’t want to let you win, you see my earth body is a cool boy, never to be killed, you

will never get us ted bundy, ted bundy grabbed peter by the arm saying, watch what you say, buddy, but peter

really wanted to slow down teds reign, because this is weird what the world has been going through since you died

first you made brian allan a crazy person by making him tie himself up in a toilet in mitchell, and can’t you see he is suffering

too much from that stupid mistake your ghost made him do and it was awful to push his next door neighbour brendan down as well,

brian really liked him, and me, you made me **** myself when i was having problems that you caused, and ted said, but you are

enjoying being a cool boy now, don’t jeopardise it, dude, but peter kept on yelling blaming him for all the suicides that happened like

anthony, the mentally ill christian, and barry loughton as well as mark jones, and i know these deaths were normal, but you are the reason why

they are dead, ted, and i hate what you are doing to brian allan from canberra lately, he likes watching his grandmas next life annie be with slim dusty

who is hayley, and me who is caleb, but you are trying to **** him, by making his old school chin patrick enright, in his mind, tease him in his mind

treating him like his family, by making him lose interest in things, and peter told ted, he hates what you are putting in brian’s mind, by killing off all the

old fogies one by one, you see brian’s aunty pam developed a cancer of the lung, giving her no energy, she never smokes, and peter told ted that

he hates dads dellusional ghost trying to make brian write and think evil things about his father, and peter said, you will never get my current earth body

he plays baseball and really enjoys being a youtube sensation, peter said to ted bundy, you see what you are doing is destroying the world, including

my beloved canberra, where i met brian and chris allan, who played cricket with me, and i hate how you are making brian tease his dad with the poor people

i know he doesn’t want to be a rich ****, but some of the situations were very dodgy, and i want you to let brian allan be a man, ya know, i know he still likes

cricket despite of what he tells people, and ted bundy, at about 7 on the 1st october, struck caleb from bratayley down, by grabbing his cool kid, and tying him up

on the sun with paul berenyi and adam walsh and greame thorne, and the way he did this, was grab peter sargent by the arm and say, you are no longer a youtube sensation

by grabbing you, i **** off your youtube sensation life caleb, and burn your cool kid in the sun, you see peter, there is no heaven, and there is no hell, you see if you are a

nice kid, i will, put you on the sun, ready to suffer in your next life, you’ll never know, peter, i might bring you back to hole in the wall canberra, in a poor neighbourhood

you see peter, i am destroying the life of crocus’s current earth body, by giving him sore feet, and keeping the cool kids away from him, like brattayley, i know that brian’s

grandmother on his mothers side is there as annie, and slim dusty is hayley, and if they return after the funeral of caleb, i have powers to take the cool kid off

these kids, ted bundy said, because, what i was doing on earth, was turning people off, showing the world their fresh legs, peter said, let us go, ted bundy, please let us go

i will never lose my reign, and your next life will certainly know it, peter sargent, peter said, i will make sure, you suffer, and ted said, think about it, brian allan wants to be famous and living in adelaide

but money is keeping him here in canberra ok, so you will never get what you want, while you have to understand, even the rich people who are seldom getting what they want

in theory, are being bashed or murdered, or maybe even both, this world isn’t good, and that is because of me, ted bundy said and caleb is suffering, as he doesn’t want to be *******

to the sun, he wants to be with bratayley, to live to be old, and ted bundy said heh heh heh heh we will make4 brian allan suffer as he wants to give greame thorne is wish of being famous

trying to beat ted bundy forcing his old mate patrick’s teasing voice out of his head forever, but what is happening ted is saying, let’s make brian’s school friends watch the professionals

and laugh at brian, yeah this sounds radically awesome said ted, granny is with slim dusty through annie and hayley, but because of caleb being snatched from there to be tied to the sun

will bratayley return, or will ted bundy get what he wants, no technology for young people, and this is a hard battle, but we all must stop the ghost of ted bundy, by doing what we want to do

as long as it is good, and realise if we do things that is bad, it’s ted bundy that is enforcing it

Hi dudes

I am on the murrays bus heading for Batemans bay and there is only 1 hour
And a half left and I am looking forward to being close to the ocean
You see it's going to be great eating fish
And chips at the boathouse
You see I am having memories of when I went here with my mate Daniel and this
Is my first trip since I stopped ringing him up and I am staying in Mariners on the waterfront and I hope the room is ready when I get there
I have to rehearse my play lines as well
I woke up at 5 am in the morning at my mother's house and I remember walking with Daniel and the bus dropped water on us because it was raining But today iss lovely sunny day and now we have arrived at Braidwood to pick up a box and we are off again
We are entering the windey roads
Of the Clyde mountain and as I look
Out there are roadworks and lovely black cows, cows are beautiful creatures and yes we will be passing
Poo bears corner and dudes there is
Blue sky for miles, and I hope my room
Had fox footy so I can watch the parade I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave monday  but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final I have just arrived in Batemans bay
And I arrived too early for the room at Mariners, so I left my baggage there and
Headed for the take away for an egg and bacon roll with BBQ sauce and hopefully people will be out of the room
When I return to the hotel And the egg and bacon roll was very tasty and after I left chixandstix I headed toward k mart
To buy a coke and wait for the time to tick away so I could enter my room
There are millions of Kids running around and I saw one guy running on
The road, yeah this is going to be a great grand final weekend on the south coast and I hope I get into the room
By 12 so I can see if they have the fox footy channel for the parade
But they didn't But it is a wonderful room with a nice view of the Clyde river
And I wish there was a fox footy but oh well we can't have everything but it is a beautiful view though
The next minute I walked down to the Batemans bay soldiers club and paid them $10 to become a member and I am
Going to
Watch the parade in air conditioned comfort I know I leave Monday but I find it is worth it
I am watching hawthorn and west coast go down the streets either he sun shining nicely in this great spring day and I am sinking coke by coke enjoying the grand final And after walking home from the club
after watching the parade, I got $50 out
And went back to the hotel and presto
The TV was in better working order but
I don't have fox footy, so I am glad I went to the club and currently I am just
Relaxing in front of the box doing my art
And I saw the end of the rugby league
Grand final show and I am doing my hAlloween tapestryAnd now I am watching alive and cooking waiting for the 3 o'clock news
Bulletin to start and tonight I am going to have fish and chips as well as buying a few supplies to veg out with tonight
In front of the box, the view of the river
Is radically awesome dude and I am looking forward to my fish and chips
Down the coast
I just had fish and chips at the voatshed and yes mr seagull decided to Payne a visit
And you shoul have Heard the racket when I gave up one or two or three
And the fish was so fresh and for drinks I had pub squash and another seagull jumps up to say hello to Me and I said hell mister seagull and after I finished with my dinner I went to woollies to buy some supplied to satisfy my hunger tonight
And as I was walking home  a man said I was shaky he like a jelly on a plate and I said yeah I am a cool writer and artist
And then I went into my room to watch Becker then the news and I am going to spend a relaxing night on the night before west coast hopefully beat hawthorn and will I get fat tonight
Of course I am not going to eat it all tonight
I will concentrate on my creativityYou see I lying on my bed moving
My hand as I do each stitch watching
Neighbours and everybody loves Raymond and then watched the gardeners on better homes and gardens
And whe I was watching that some really cool party people were laughing and having a good time all I'm readiness
For the afl grand final tomorrow
As the song goes
We are the Eagles the west coast Eagles
We're the team to show you how
We are the better birds than the team of hawthorn we are the mighty west coast team but if hawthorn win tomorrow
I will ****** scream and now there is another talk show
Have you been paying attention
Which is a radically awesome show
But I Have turns it over to superman
On channrlll goI got up at 7 am this morning after having a nightmare of James Pederson
Getting his revenge on me after I teased him a bit and then I got up to go to the toilet and took my medication and went back to bed for 2 more hours and after that I had a shower and then breakfast
And got the room ready for the housekeepers to clean and then went on a walk to beautiful batehaven and as I walked down the road, there was this lovely sesbreeze and it was a beautiful
Hot day and I passed the fish and chip shop and the shell museum and bird land animal park and I saw families swimming in the pool and when I reached batehaven I bought myself a coke and say there watching isthe water and there is this water skier having a wow of a time and there was this man taking his dog down to the water and there are heaps of families taking their kids to the water on this nice hot day  
It is wonderful sitting by the beach and onr man is resting his dog
It is a nice day for the beach
And I am enjoying myself relaxing in the shade of this really hot day at the beach
And soon I must go to get some lunch and watch west coast beat hawthirn
Go the EaglesI entered the soldiers club and went straight to the bistro to have a hamburger with egg and bacon and chips and it was superb and then I went to the TV to watch the pre game show
And Elle Goulding and Bryan Adams
Were the entertainers and mike Brady sang up there Cazaly and even if they weren't there felt like singing up there goes Sydney and I chose the TV with a view of the Clyde river and I am still tipping west coast go the Eagles
The Hawks broke away with a lead at quarter time and half time and west coast are in for a record if they can get back from 57-26 down and the Kangaroos runner won the sprint giving money to youth homelessness
And the beach is a cool backdrop for the mighty MCG and I am still going for the eagkes but it will be hard
Go the eagles for what it's worth
Well we are the happy team at hawthorn
Showing the Eagles which birds the best, we fight them off from start to finish
Go the Hawks for the 2015 premiership
And it is a good reason to party on
Saturday night which is party night
Yes the Hawks are superior in this grand final and I am sitting in the batemans bay soldiers club watching the match and I am waiting for the presentation and if the motel has a band tonight
I am going party through frustrations by watching the band
I will probably get a pizza for dinner on the wharf
But the Hawks were the big birds the kings of the big game
Go the Hawks for victorycan hear you laughing. Go
You see you are laughing oh so hard mc cracking jokes celebrating the Cowboys win it was a wonderful win
I am glad the Broncos lost
You see I like people who party
They are my type of people
You see people laugh at each other
And they say go cowboys go
Then around Christmas time
They dress up as Santa and let out
A loud ** ** **
You see they say it very loud
It is like they lost thrift ** ** **
Where can it go go go
Doing the hanky pdnky with your mates
In the gay bar in downtown Sydney
Then we will celebrate a win
Cowboys Cowboys rah rah rah
Got he mighty Cowboys from now till the end of hhf day
Everyone has stopped laughing
Time for bed
Go the Cowboys

the killing to make our revenge noted



you see these poor people heard my mates words

and now, i haven’t heard of my mate since

you see i think that people have taken out their revenge

and sent them through to hell or heaven

i don’t know it for sure

but i can surely guarantee that my mate has been killed and bloodened to death

just because he expressed an opinion

i haven’t seen him since one day

and i haven’t seen the homeless man either

i don’t want to be turned off helping the homeless find homes, no way, no fear

you see the other day, a crazy man tried to walk me to the shops

i implied that i didn’t want to do this, so i ended it with have a nice day

you see have a nice day is better to say than *******

i know people get fucken annoyed with that, but still it’s better

i would prefer if the hawker shops allow him to be there

they will keep him under wraps

but i haven’t seen my mate for ages, and if he is dead, i know to think

that keeping your mouth from saying bad stuff is the best solution

you see it’s nearly halloween, and i aqm getting visions of all my old school mates

being killed for voicing their opinions

i don’t want to suffer with the poor, but i don’t want to agree with the rich either

i certainly don’t want to sit on the fence, that is what losers do

i have my opinions, i should have a voice, and i should be heard

if i believe i was kidnapped in my last 2 previous lives that is my answer

if i believe that mentally ill people smell funny because they can’t be bothered washing themselves

well, it maybe isn’t really their fault

i miss this bloke, who i used to talk to around hawker, has he been killed

because i really voiced his opinion a lot, and that could get him in trouble

i hate being treated like a bad smell, i am a 46 year old young dude

i’m a happy dude, and i hear angry dudes in my head

which really drives me crazy crazy crazy

i watch the muppet show, i don’t want my past coming back to me

i don’t want to get robbed again, i don’t want to nearly run over by idiotic people

i know this bloke who i don’t see much now, yeah he hates certain people, and i don’t hate anyone

that could turn a few heads

i hope paul isn’t dead, i hope we just haven’t gone out at the same time

because there are too many crazy people hanging around since he hasn’t been there

i know he ain’t my daddy, but i just think, it’s queerly strange

i hear this voice, paul, don’t go out when your friend goes out

we want to trick him

but then again, i am not out as much as i was, he is though, keep a good thought

Brian the cool vinnies bloke


you see brian allan was looking for something to do, to get him from being street trash

and a very nice lady named rowena said why don’t you work for vinnies, and brian said why not

and the next day, he was given an interview with helen, who was the boss at vinnies, and

she thought it would be great to have someone to do the bins and vacuum the floor before the start

and after 4 weeks of being there, brian thought he would like to be santa claus, and had to make uo

a proper reason for doing it, so brian said, i like the idea of giving the kids, who hate shopping with parents

a treat and helen thought she will make gingerbread men, to tickle the childs taste buds a lot,but helen was

in a bind, because i haven’t got a beard and she suggested i spray paint my real beard, but my parents were against that

because it would go against everything that santa stood for, but brian got angry with his parents and told them

that if they spray painted his beard, there will be no smart alek of a kid to pull his beard off, and as brian said that

his father yelled out, THAT’S ENOUGH, thinking i cared nothing about the kids of this city but that offended brian a lot

and made him hit his father, and this got brian really hyped up on being the best santa claus in canberra, and then

when brian explained to helen that it was causing a stir with the family to spray paint the beard, helen decided to

get a fake beard for me to use, and on the first day i played santa, i offered some of the adults gingerbread men

and they said, save them for the kids, and one little girl, who had the same resemblance to my eldest niece, said

i was a fake santa, and the santa at the mall was more real than i was, and some of the vinnies ladies brought their

own grandchildren in to get their gift from santa and i did my first year of santa, despite some smart a lek of a kid

attemptng to pull my beard off, but i was too smart for him, and after christmas was over packed my santa suit away for the first time

and then i met david who did the shoes, and i found him very good to talk too, you see i said when he dies he will be the

shoe shine man in heaven, but he sounded like he hated the idea, and he liked to joke around with stephen and mable and

i vacuumed the floor and then went outside to empty the clothing bin, and i did this all the time, ya know every day, and i had ken and brian

to help me, but brian thought it would be cool to bang on the clothing bin, while i was still in it and i told helen and she said

you should speak up for yourself, because i seem to let people walk all over me, and really i can’t be bullied by this so called brian

character, and then i started something new, you see i thought, it would be nice to to cook lunches 3 days a week at the new mental health

building, called the rainbow and i learnt how to do creative writing as well as meeting the messiah and a man named barry, who was a

really cool poet, sort of reminded me of my father, mainly because of his poem sounding like banjo patterson and henry lawson, and barry

was a lover of fitzroy, and supported the brisbane lions afl club, and i went to the club i do the bbq for, to watch the game with him and

he left before the end of the match and, i continued to go about my merry way, cooking meals at the rainbow and going on trips with the rainbow

having sing-a=longs and one man, warwick, swam 45 km at once and helen got a fire engine and i sat in it, and a star canberra raiders star

came to vinnies and signed a ball for me and my second year of santa claus went well also, i wrote fly burgers also that year, which was

funny and when i read it out, everyone was laughing along with it and they clapped it, and i read out the fact i missed scott macdonald also

and i went to queensland that year also, and when i got in my santa suit, i was visioning i will tell the kids i am an australian santa and instead of

living on the north pole, i lived right here in canberra but my parents who were strict on keeping kids imaginations flowing, hated me disillusioning

the kids minds, you see here is a poem about the aussie santa

ya see g’day mate i am the real santa

i don’t live at the north pole

i live in canberra australia, ya know the hot place, around christmas day

ya see ya know christmas is great as i do my gigs at vinnies

and as a treat i give out gingerbread men and lollies

you see christmas is fun for all ages dudes, yeah it’s fun oh yeah that’s right mate

i hope you don’t do ya santa gig way to ****** late


you see i thought i was given this gig, to bring the cool into santa

and one year i was doing my gig with an orange soda

who loves orange soda, i love orange soda

is it true, oh yeah it’s true ooh ooh ooh oh yeah

and in the following year, i was feeling fine, and my psychiatrist reduced my medication and that pushed me straight to the psych ward, where i thought

i died, and the psych ward was the gate to heaven and that ended the cool vinnies kid reign but i came back and i was more interested talking with david

and doing santa claus and that year i was checking tapes, but that only lasted 5 months, because there were getting more tapes coming in, i couldn’t keep it up

and santa was the thing, and because i was a good worker, suddenly everyone wanted me, but that was because of my manly charm, and helen left and glenn

came in and he had this little jingle, brian brian brian everything is fine, brian brian brian he’s a friend of mine brian brian brian makes the carpet shine?

you see his name is brian brian brian, and glenn sang that song to me every time i did the vacuuming at the shop and then after a few more santa gigs, glenn left and

paul s came in after vinnies had no boss, but i was still santa claus there and paul s was the official photographer for my santa claus gig, and that made me feel cool

and now, i am not santa anymore, but i really enjoyed the attention.

Halloween oh Halloween


Dashing through the streets
On the last day of October yeah
Are all the kiddies playing trick or treat and the rougher kids eggs an old battalax's house
And then when this old geezer comes out, the rough kids are as quite as a mouse
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's a great day yeseree
You see people dress up as vampires and witch's and ghosts
And for blood they use cherry cheer
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's a great day to scare everyone
You see you can pretend you head is cut off
The old fogies are going for a walk
And some trick or treaters are coming down dressed up as 1 ghost
2 witch's and a very ****** clown oh yeah and as they passed the olds
They said how's it going cobbler
And then the ****** clown said
I will tease ya if ya don't give me a dollar
Halloween yeah Halloween
These scary kids are having so much fun yeah it.'a fun scaring old fogies yeah for money oh yeah it's fun
Halloween yeah Halloween
Celebrate it now
Celebrate the day that likes the idea
Of dressing up as scary monsters yeah Halloween is cool
Halloween yeah Halloween
It's on for young and old
You see dressing up as ghosts and witch.'a really makes us glad
Halloween yeah Halloween
Come on everyone
We give each kid a wonderful treat
To share and share a like
Happy Halloween dudes


Sent from my iPhone

Summer weather

You see it's the summer weather
The barbecues are being cooked so well yeah
And the swimmers at the beach
are swimming between flags avoiding the sharks
And those crazy surfers as they surf with Santa
they drop off at the night club
to order a pina calada, yeah, that sure keeps us cool
You see it's summer weather
And you sun bake on the beach yeah
put on heaps of suncream, so cancer don’t strike, yeah yeah yeah
You see it's the summer weather
My poppy came out with a nice beer
And my two kids bobby and Toby had a coke
and they enjoyed that a lot
You see it takes away the hot, especially in ice
And it is great in the summer weather
Cause our drinks keeps us cool
You see it's the summer weather
The cricket and baseball is a playing
You see the players take about 5 hours to move oh yeah
And we see these players stand around forever
And in late of summer is the summer of tennis
watching the best players from around the world
and afterwards they go to the pub and celebrate
we say it's the summer weather cause those drinks keeps us cool
it’s the summer weather, the end of another year yeah
we lay the fireworks on the beach
so the lightshow, will be great
as midnight approaches we yell HAPPY NEW YEAR and then we say
what great summer weather, out champagne sure, keeps us cool

Sent from my iPhone

i am buddha and i am ok, you see i am the coolest dude oh yeah any day

you see my hooligan is trying to catch me yeah

but i am too cool for that, my friend

you see dudes, i party right up here

showing the after life how to party, yeah

it’s good to see tony abbott lost his battle

you see he is such a two faced old ****

working hard to make a living, putting shelter over our heads

i have found a way to party in ****** bed

everyone is living in the past with my actions, yeah mate yeah

like they judge me from when i was scared running up to my nanna

my brother stayed down there, i was a scared little ****

but i am still a good you tuber and writer and artist

and i will be the best i can fucken be

i look at the palm of my hand, and it says i have a long life line

and i have got big things happening for me mate, yeah that’ll be so cool

i am flying ,around outer space trying to catch the villain

the evil hooligan who i causing all the crime on earth

you see for i am cronus, i am saving the world

every idiot at a time

i have a triangle on my palm which means love life no matter what pressure your under

and the fact the triangle is on both palms

means i really love life, despite my schizophrenic brain saying i hate it

you see i know i am not a hooligan, but i was one in the past

but if i had my time again i would undo all the hooligan out

you see my hooligan is the itchy rashy fungus coming into my body

i don’t want it, but i have got it,and unless i try and relax, i will have to live with it

you see i really loved foxtel back then, showing all my mates some shows that are on

and i felt so normal, because people were wanting to come over to watch pay TV

because they were too poor, and i had a technology family and i was fine showing people all the good things about foxtel

you see i had my problems way back in 2004, when the ghosts kidnapped me away from foxtel

and took me to the psych ward to meet the people who are suffering, yeah

you see i liked to drink with my workmates after work ya see

cause i was a party animal, you see right now i am leaving my nasty man up here

while my nice man comes back to earth

i remember steven gasparic came to my house after getting ****** with me

we watched the footy all weekend, he left on sunday afternoon

this was back in 1997, the year the crows won the title against the saints

i said, come on sainters come on sainters you must win today

on that saturday night ya see, the broncos beat the sharks in super league

super league was ok, but the NRL is better

you see we get drunk, as we drink our hooligans away

yeah we feel so cool

You see I am by all means a Buddhist
In a Christian church
I believe in reincarnation and I also like
The atmosphere of a Christian church
You see there are more opportunities to
Help when needs be in the Christian church and by all means I am a Buddhist in a Christian church
You see it happens a lot in the English speaking world because the Buddhist
Temple can be quite boring because there is nothing cool to celebrate
So u will go to the Christian church
To worship their God and celebrate the day Cronus was born because he helped Jesus come to life
And by all means I have to remain
A Buddhist in a Christian church
I like c3 it is so radically awesome
You see I will find it hard but I am not changing from being a Buddhist in a Christian church oh yeah
mind you buddhism has beautiful candle ceremonies, yeah that is so sweet

I'm a boy, I'm a boy


You see I like to listen to heavy metal, really, really loud
And I will play my air guitar to an imaginary crowd
Everyone cheers for our local team with me, and football games
And I will be locked in a room with my friend in iron chains
You see I love partying and I live life every minute
Thinking about the girl's I kissed and all the near misses
And I will go and watch some special event
And I talk to all my chums,and after that I take my bestie out
To get drunk and be dumb
Cause you see, I'm a boy. I'm a boy, but the girl I know doesn't admit it
I' m a boy and I'm a boy, if you want to f..n doubt me, then forget it
You see, I will take you down to Happy days
To play space invaders, but you won't sit and watch me
Cause you prefer Ben 10, and I love to drink so many beers
And maybe if I'm sick of that, I will have a wine
All I need to do that, is to pick then from a vine
I muck around with people I hate, just to be so cool
And yes my dear, I have no enemies, because baby, this is why
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, but my girl won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, if you want to f..n doubt me, then forget it
I go to the gym to flex my muscles so I can be strong
And if some **** tried to pick on me, I will tell him to get f..d
And I will also run around the lake with my little bro
We will stop half way, so he can catch his breath
And we just had a good talk, we said things like
Drinking is dumb, only women get a kick from that
And we said, let's do drugs, only women do that too
We said, how about listening to guys music and eating corn ships and salsa
Yes, that's cool, now after that we'll go home Ane talk to Aunty Alsia
You see I'm a boy I'm a boy, but my girl won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, if you want to f..b doubt me then forget it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, please bad man don't take me
I' m a boy I' m a boy, I am cooler than you anyway, man
Oh yeah I am a boy and you are spastic


Sent from my iPhone

My defensive carer named Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo



You see my nice regular carer, Andrew Williams was sick and didn't want go to work
Which put spanner in the works in the office, and they were wondering who will replace him
So they decided to ask Alfreido Dimpitt Reemo a call, and were happy when he said yes
And they forgot to tell his first client, who can be very confusing in conversation
But they forgot to tell that client and Alfreido turned up at his door
And this was the day that Andrew was going to take him for a walk through the domain
Where the Christmas carols, and Alfreido was happy to take him
And they had a cool time, till the client told him about his old carer who was names Reimo
And Aldreido snapped at him, and his client thought that he doesn't understand happiness
And this made him happier, and he started laughing and trying to joke around with Alfreido
And Alfreido did joke with him, and really they started to hit off
And then, so his client mentioned his old carer Reimo and how much of a **** he was
And Alfreido got defensive, in fact he got so angry he nearly hit his client
And this made his client too shy to say anything else
On the risk that Alfriedo was going to do it again
And he even was afraid to speak his mind, in the risk he'll snap at him
And his client were unhappy about how this carer treated him
Especially when they were leaving the domain and there were some teenagers teasing him
And this made his client think that Alfreido was teasing him with the kids
I know he had issues for what he said, but, he though this was very wrongs the way
His carer was behaving, and every time he mentioned Reimo, in hoping that he would
Joke around with you, he will snap, as if you were trying to rob you or something
So at the end when Alfriedo left, he didn 't know what to do
So he rang up the carers organization and told them why Alfreido came instead of Andrew
And they told him they had no choice, it was either Alfreido or no one
And this client said, ok in the future, I will prefer no one, especially if you send him again
Because he is too defensive, when I mention the name of my old carer
And despite telling him why he snapped, he still felt very unsafe
And said, I want you to send no one, or send no one
Because I felt I am offending this carer with anything I say
And I don't know what I really said, and the organisation said, fine
And Alfreido never saw him again,
And the next time Andrew came, and he was very relieved
And told him that the bad carer has gone, and will never return
And Andrew said, yes, mate, I will make sure they don't ever send him again


Sent from my iPhone

To cut the devil out of Brian Allan

Two born again Christians. David, and Andrew decided to drive over to Brian Allan's house, and enter his house, and go into his room, get their bag out, and shove Brian Allan in it, and suddenly Brian Allan was tied to David's sick bed, do Andrew and David can force tbe exercism, on Brian, Brian was screaming, wanting them to unite him, but David said, this is our wish to see the devil out of your body, we're doing this for your own good, you see Andrew wanted you converted over to Christian life, and seriously you aren't a cool person, so Brian Allan, you will be in here forever, or at least till this exercism is over, Brian pleaded for them to free him, thinking it's freedom of speech saying he's a Buddhist, and Andrew said, mate no, Buddhism doesn't exist, and if you can't get that, we have to perform this exercism, and we'll do it now.
Brian was pushing the rope slowly to make it leave his body, but David made sure the rope never left his body, and Brian Allan was screaming, saying, I am a guy, and Andrew said
SILENCE, and them put Brian Allan inside the coffin, where he plans to bury him after the exercism, and then Andrew said, David, we're pulling this off, we need to get rid of this imagination of Brian Allan, so Brian, do you want to be killed and then those child like legs and your younger looking body, look nice dead in a coffin, and Brian said you can never **** me into your little game, fella.
Then Brian shook so fiercely, knowing that, Andrew is a very evil Christian who want to convert people who choose other religion, and also, another thing, David wanted to see Brian suffer for constant arguments with him, this was going to be fun thought David and told Andrew to pick up the knife ready to make the cut, this boy might love life, but he is just about to love death, cause nobody survives exercisms, nobody.
Brian Allan was struggling as Andrew stood over him saying a prayer stating that Andrew plans to rip Btian's body apart, and personally remove all traces of the devil which is lurking around in his body, first he made a cut in his legs, which unlike all men, looked like a child's leg, and he tried to put the knife right in the back of the knee, which the victim, Brian Allan calls the ships, and on the other side, the front side, was the moo cows, and as Brian was lying there, it looked like he was ****** doomed.
Then after he finished that, Brian was suffering, but it was David's turn, and he drove it through Brian's heart, and Brian Allan died and Andrew and David, continued the kidnapping, and buried Brian with the symbol of peace, so the devil can't harm him anymore.
Brian floated around the after life, and he was safe,but he did wonder what life would be like, if he wasn't so naive.


Sent from my iPhone

The aliens are coming to put weight on your feet





You see I haven't got any social skills, and I haven't got a decent job
But still people like preaching to me, and they will relax so annoyingly
As if they are really sick of you, or something similar like that
It's alright to be normal adults, and do normal Things
But it's when you preach, and you seem to have even my folks
As cooler people than me, they aren't cool, they don't want to do anything good
The only reason they went on a cruise is because I thought of it
I am cool, and i have fun everywhere, and I party and relax
And take lots of great pictures, yes, that's so cool
I seem to have an adult relationship with other people
But to my family, I am just a little kid, but I ain't a kid
And I feel the aliens are around trying to make my feet feel very tired
I see the aliens are biting my feet, and taking the tips of my feet
For a little spin, yes I am sitting in my living room
Being chewed alive by flesh eating aliens, yes they have abducted me
When I go anywhere with my parents, all the cool people talk to my parents
As if they are cool, and you can say, they're not, I am cool
I don't want people to bash me, or something
They think I ain't normal, and I say that's true, I ain't normal
I am abnormal, especially when normal is drinking beer
And eating more junk food, than you can poke a stick at
And also I think normal also to everyone is  being stupid
And I think that sounds cool as long as it is clean stupid
And not going out robbing banks and stealing cars
The types of things that aliens force you to be
The aliens were getting caught in my body making
Me say that I was 323 years old, and I was born on Christmas day
And the aliens made me say that 23 times in one day
To shop assistants and people down the pub as well as over the web
I even said it to close friends, and they got sick of me, yeah
Then I said the reason I said it, is if you add my ages together
I will be 323 years old, which I didn't say straight away
And it confused him a ****** lot, he kept saying
Stop saying you're 323 years old


Sent from my iPhone

We are the boys who go out and party, and get into trouble, oh yeah we're bad


You see I went to the club to watch a really cool band
For starters it took a while to start and when it did
I was the only one dancing, you see I was the only cool one there
And I went to the Brumbies and I yelled when they dropped the ball
Saying we stink we stink we stink
Then after that we went to an old house in Wanniassa
And I knocked on the door and this lady answered and said
How are you little cool dude, I am the evil white witch of Canberra
Who are you, you fine gentlemen, who are you
I said I am Brian Allan, and I am the head cool boy here in Canberra
The evil white witch said, not for long, I have Mark Marlor and Brendan Schultz
Both captured in my den in the backyard, yes it looks like a chicken coop
And I want you too, because mate, you are a little brat who hangs around witch's houses
I tried to escape, but the witch before my eyes, zapped me in chains in the den
With Mark and Brendan, and this was going to be doom for us
The white witch wanted to feed us, because he wanted us to fatten up
For the big feast, which was in about 2 weeks from now
And these three Canberra kids are the Canberra kids who will bring peace to the city
For the centenary, yes the white witch was sitting in her chair saying I have the cool kids
Mark, Brendan and Brian were saying, we are the boys who go out and party
And get into trouble. Oh yeah we're bad, cause we end up being chained in an evil white witch's backyard den, and we are by all means doomed
The witch came down to the den and said, have you boys gained fat yet
You 3 can no longer be muscle boys, cause you are my prisoners
I have you forever, kiddies
The white witch made sure that Brendan,Mark and Brian were securely chained in so tightly, and then went on a little walk around Canberra trying to find more Canberra crowd kids to catch, and he walked past the Duffy shops and the white witch saw Luke Salvorg who was. Under 12 for Weston Creek and he was riding his bike down tbe road, and yes, like all sports boy, he thought he was never going to be kidnapped, because he was too loud and too fit, but the white witch waved her arms and suddenly Luke found himself in the witch's den chained up, he was scared and Mark Marlor, who knew him, said, we must eat, because we are going to be the food at a dinner party, you see we all are kidnapped by an evil white witch, and don't worry she only wants boys, because boys are tough
You see, we are the boys who go out to party and get into trouble, oh yeah, we're bad, cause we end up being chained in an evil white witch's backyard den, Luke said please mummy rescue me, please, and I want you to do it now



Sent from my iPhone

A dis abled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing



You see disabled man just bludgers, and if any pretty young
Lady starts working to help them, they play with their hair
And quite often really annoys them, and it is not just because
They are playing with their hair, no they don't know squat
About how to get out there and actually work
Well, they will work, but in small lots and also
They will take days off to go to see parades
And then look at all the workers, saying
You stupid little ******, little fool
You are trying too ****** hard to teach us how to work
And you are making us laugh so hard
Of course whether he would say that, no one knows
Cause he is disabled, he doesn't really know any better
He thinks he is being cool with us
The best thing to do is have a lot of fun
And not get in the bosses way, at any time
Especially if the boss yells at them, or gets sick of them
Instead of keeping around them like them like a bad smell
Like the disabled man usually does, and let me tell you
He can display signs of anger and it often interferes with
Their work, and after that the disabled man
Will crack himself laughing if anybody was getting yelled at by the boss
Like he is in primary school, you know the way kids act when
You get in trouble with the teacher
The disabled man does work, but you know
Often they show limitations and also they are too disabled
To know why things happen, and I start to think, that
The reason why liberals hate disabled people
Is they can be angry little *****
When they ****** think they're right
The dis abled man will work but they still will act
Like a kid, when they are either told to clean up
Or go over the job again, because they are trying to tease
Yes,  dis abled men have no work ethics, still like school atmosphere, and
A disabled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing


Sent from my iPhone

hi dudes


when i first moved into my new flat, i remembered seeing adults relaxing in the bed, i can’t help looking in

i was walking up the stairs, and i saw this fat lady relaxing in her bed waiting for her shift at the hospital

and i was cleaning my house so i can make it like a hotel/motel, so i can make myself love life more with

my truthful but negative friend, and i was eating dinner at 5.00 and after that i had two chocolates

and when i started running, sure, i felt great, but walking is better for me.

you see i was saying to myself i love my beautiful mummy about 100 times, and canberra are probably calling

me a freak or saying shut up disable or something like that, you see i like the bed how i want, i just moved my

bed near the dining room and i was battling voices from carers and family saying, it will look horrible near the kitchen

but i feel the  motel atmosphere , where i can enjoy life, and my head is really slowing my body down,

but i will try and write a great story, you see since 2004, i became a writer, to get the delusions out of my head

you see i kept a lot of stories on my computer till i felt good enough to send these stories and i am popular, you see

i feel the itch on my fingers and i have cracked feet and i want a pill to get  rid of my cracked feet, i don’t like thugs

treating me like a loser, because, you see i said every day, i love my beautiful mummy and my big heavy body, **** it’s hard

work carting this big body around, but i’ll manage and i know i am very lazy, where i sit down and there is always something on the floor

and when i try and clean my house, my voices are controlling my body, making housework a daunting task, i still am messy

because every time i clean my house i get more crazy voices of old mates treating me like a cool kid, saying, i will sit here watching you, while you

while you hear these vioices every day till you die, and we are having fun teasing brian, but i write my problems out of me

and i am showing you in my pictures how shades of partying, halloween and canberra cavalry and the hometime party

and as i said, i sponsor a kid with world vision, i feel great about doing this, i remember arguing with mum a lot

and that was because i was having problems, i didn’t want to hurt her, i love my mum,  there is an itch in my stomach, which goes

‘we are treating you like a cool kid,’to my old mates, you see my voices are created by the simpsons, and i am  bart simpson, but

i am not wanting the TV to take over my voices, and i use my buddhist beliefs to stop it, and my uncle Ray pocock now lives in nicoragua

his next life is luis exequiel gonzales cruz and he is my current kid i am sponsoring through and i, who was put on this earth to save the world,

well, i am trying to brighten up his world, and ray will be trying to rebuild his new life, while his last life’s nephew brian allan is his sponsor

you see buddha brought luis to brian allan, so ray pocock gets his wish being helped by his old family, i used to say before ray died, i love my beautiful mummy

and i love life so much, to make uncle ray pocock’s next life luis gonzales cruz, i will help you

i remember eating hot cross buns at easter and also easter eggs and had heaps of fun at our christmas eve with ray’s sister in law

guess what!, i just found out that john f kennedy died in 1963

and i offer my condolences to you and guess what!

martin luther king died in 1968, i don’t understand but they both died

guess what! mrs baker died and i have no idea who died in the civil war

do you know, know what, who died in the civil war

no, but i can tell you, many people died in the civil war

my reincarnation died in the civil war, learn buddhism

because they will have the answers you will need

guess what!  paul berenyi died, that is a shame

i learnt it off the paper back in 1995

guess what!  elizabeth montgomery died, and so did agnes moorehead

two TV witches dead, but agnes moorehead became sabrina the teenage witch, ya know melissa joan hart

guess what!  richie benaud died, and he is waiting for his next life

you see i have heard about these negative deaths, and i wish you will stop

death isn’t uplifting, it’s negative, ever so negative

i believe in spreading positivity around this world

and talking about these deaths don’t help

we need to keep positive in us, ok, and then he said, guess what

frank sinatra died, but that is a negative thing to say

but i like talking about death, but it’s very negative, ya see, then he said

guess what!  robert palmer died, ya know the guy who thought he was simply irreistable into being addicted to love

sure makes your day doesn’t it, she said, no it doesn’t, talking about death is negative, i tell ya

and if you don’t stop talking about death, i will make you next

but guess what! news flash, i like talking about death, i have an uplifting version of death

you see when people die, they come back to life

cause guess what! billy thorpe died, he has been dead for ages, mate, quit talking negative

you need to be positive ya know, you see i will do a giant **** in my living room, i feel lousy

drop the **** in the toilet, feeling much better, you see i can tell you who dies

guess what! trevor barker died, he has been dead for ages, you are a very negative person

guess what! scott mcdonald died, well, you just love being negative

guess what!, christians are kidnappers after your fucken soul, well you are showing me

what happens on youth group, well, i don’t want to know, cause it’s negative, i believe in being a peaceful positive buddhist

people die, they come back to life, people die, they come back to life

you see i go to the phoenix, for the poetry slam, i try and bring back graham kennedy

because guess what! graham kennedy died, i said, mate, he’s been dead for ages

and you mate are being ever so negative, he said, no, death is uplifting, it is uplifting

how you die and then come back to life

guess what! smoky dawson died, but he has been dead for a while

but i saw him at the anzac day march, so television is right yet again

guess what! guess what!  guess what! 1 person dies 1 person gets reborn

the circle of life, don’t ya think

you see last night i went to some mattes house and he told me of all the bad

stuff i did, especially the day ii tied people up, and about the time i teased everyone at the mall

and he sat in his house saying to me, wanna can of beer, sand then he said, go to bed, buddy, there

is nothing for you here and i said, i am reformed now, all that is in the past

and he said, it’s alright for you to say it’s in  the past, you did it, meanwhiles we suffer from P T S D

and you \take your medication like a good little boy, while we suffer

and then i said, i have schizophrenia, a form of mental illness, and he said

you mean you are a mental head and i said yes, i am a mental head and

all the bad stuff that i done is all due to that and then he started teasing me something fierce

because me being mental seemed to make him happy,and i said i want you to understand

that i am suffering just like you, and he said, no you are having a good time

and me calling you mental is the best thing i can ever do to stop you, you see i want you

to go to floriade and i want people to give you P T S D and then i want canberra never to have

a christmas parade and i want the excuse is, we haven’t got any money to fund it, actually the

only parades i want in canberra are little kids easter bonnet parades where you get into trouble

for taking photographs, and i said, mate, don’t you want fun, here, and he said, yeah i want fun

the fun i have when i am teasing you, and i said, please forgive me, and except i have a mental illess

because, maybe i am the reason for your P T S D and i have excepted that, you need to except that i

did all that because i am mentally ill, i said i don’t deserve being teased like that, i have a voice, i need to

BE HEARD and he said, what crap, the only voice you have are your mentally ill voices and then he said

if you really want to be heard, you could’ve done that when you were young and like us, now after you

gave us P T S D, it’s mighty hard to forgive you, and then i said, i am suffering too, i have a mental illness

and then he said, i don’t want to hear your problems with your mentally ill brain and then he said you should never

tell anyone that you have a mental illness particurily if you are the reason why you are suffering, and then he said

i dopn’t care what athena is doing up there with your teeth, or whatever became of the drug ice and why don’t they use

methane anymore, then he told me, i am a criminal instead of being mental, so never say your mentally ill, you are just a *******

bleeding criminal, you lost your gnomes you painted at floriade, because i want you to suffer like a criminal does

never tell us your mental, just except our punishment for a criminal like you, i yelled SHUT UP, AND LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE

he said, neh, and went off to a party i wasn’t invited to because of my mental illness causing their P T S D.

briano alliano performing on jupiter




i wish people would treat me normal

like a cool family person should be treated

i wish they would stop trying to bug me, no mate no, i hate it

i don’t like people poking me, it drives me up the wall

you see i am a family person, i don’t like people poking me at all

i know people love to poke me, because they think it is kinda fun

but i can say oh pretty one, it’s not fun for me

i don’t want people to get me back for what i do to them

cause, ya see, that is how hooligans get treated

and i am not a hooligan

ya see god, is a made up being, what is wrong with believing in buddha

i never liked people poking me, just leave me alone

you see their constant poking made me feel like a hooligan oh yeah

how they tried to get me off the seat, saying your not like your father, no

but i have the right, to do what i want, i am a family person, anyway

i hate being called a woos, i wish people would understand that

i like computers as well

computers are totally radical dude, in every sort of way

i don’t want people to tease me, cause they were called pat me grind and i was called brains

you can’t change the past ya see, it’s not my fault that you were pat me grind

i know, people are stupid when they do that stupid poking about

poking is what you give a hooligan when they are too shy to muck with the family

but i am a family person who has paranormal visions

i can’t help that i can muck around with the dead

i can’t help that i can workout previous life patterns

i think people are crazy, if they try and reform beliefs

because these are my beliefs, these are my beliefs

reincarnation can make death up-lifting

point to the sky to see what you can find

whether you can see jupiter or saturn

and at the night you will see the moon, yeah that sounds mighty fine to me

i don’t want to be treated like a little shy boy, i ain’t shy at all

though i don’t want to fight, but i want to PARTY

yeah that sounds so very cool

picture in your mind what you see

the rightful serving of the lord

i hate these devil worshipping reading minds freaks who think they can really dampen my spirits, on noseree

you see i love life too much to let that worry me

i don’t want to be a shy koomarri who just cleans his house, BORING, mind you i do clean my house sonny Jim

i feel hooligans trying to poke all over my body, to take the family person out of me

please leave me alone, for i am now a real family person can’t ya see

here is my next song

you see hooligans trying to poke the family person out of me

because my stories of previous lives is boring them, poor babies

they are little kids, and they are as ******* as ****

i am a cool koomaerri oh yeseree

you see these poems are computer power yeah

though i understand what can happen with social media, i still am rather famous oh yeseree

on the top of the world looking down on creation and on every planet i can find

any dream will do, my mate and open a can of methane my mate, i will see you at the top of the world

and there is nothing wrong with an adult partying, just don’t poke me

you see i am hearing myself with a mate named james

you see i used to tease james while he was trying to type, and i need people to understand i am reformed

i am top of the world looking down on jupiter and i wish you can stop poking me

because i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, you see james pederson was a total ****

and he sai hoy hoy hoy don’t tease me, he was easy to flaming tease

and i carried it a bit far at the football, when i teased him again, and i knocked him over

and i felt on top of the world looking down on that baby, you see he is ******* as a fucken ****

i know i don’t do that anymore, please don’t get me back for it

because while on medication i feel on top of the world

you see i never really helped anyone as a child, but i tried to make up for that as an adult

because i am a family person anyway, i8 teased all the kids at school, making them feel uncomfortable

now, i am on medication and i feel on top of the world

when i was young i looked as being mental as stupid

and we used to make jokes about teasing people at kenmore

but when i found out i am mental too, the shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it

i felt on top of the world looking over crazy people, never knowing i will be one of them

all i want is to be treated like a internet ****** and let bygons be bygons

as i am a reformed man anyway

just meet me at the top of the world, dudes

last night at the poetry slam i felt like my youth was coming back to me

you see one young bloke went up to me and said don’t forget to cheer

on my mate, it’s his first time, and he keeps his poems to his heart

and i don’t think i am an old timer, because of my love of social media

you see i like the poetry slam because it helps an middle-aged dude like me

to find my mojo, and there are a lot of people who ain’t game enough to read

their stuff because of the heckling, but this young bloke last night really stole the show

i wasn’t clapping to be nice, i think he had a lot of talent and here is a song

you see it’s a great trip to the poetry slam, on his first night ever

you see he stole the night away, and might i add he won oh yeah

you see he had a whole lot of fun

and also dude, he blew everybody off their seat

you see i like poetry slams, because they are so much fun

you see it’s hard for a poor guy like me, to get anywhere on the buses yeah

you see the canberra bus service, dude, is so stupid yeah

the canberra government only care about the rich

they don’t give a **** about the poor

the poetry slam is a way i can really show everyone what i have

i don’t want to be one of those oldies who is too shy to go out

i don’t want to be one of those oldies who worries about family members

i don’t want to be treated like a bad smell, just because of my cracked feet

i don’t want to be treated like a shy person all my life

i am into computers in a big way, so deal with it, big fat rich ****** of this world

i don’t want to be shy at the mall, i like the mall, but not to sit there all day and night

i have a life to lead, i want to be famous, well, people, i am already famous on youtube

and Facebook, even if people film me on the street, when i am dancing, that doesn’t bother me

if you want to film me just to laugh at me, go right ahead, as long as that is all you do

i probably am on Facebook in a famous way, because i have been attracting attention to other people

in the last 8 years, i don’t want people to treat me like an old fogie because i really really extremely love life

i clean my house, and i know how to look after myself, i prefer to catch buses as opposed to getting lifts with strangers

don’t forget i am a person, i don’t care if you wanna tease, but i hate horrible teasing, for i am a real family person

you see mate, last night i really enjoyed myself, and if you want to catch me on bad slam search badslamnobiscuit on yioutube or Facebook

and watch the whole 2 hour show, because i did my own tribute to the great graham kennedy

you see i don’t want to be treated like a hooligan, i liked that man in the july poetry slam at the phoenix

you see he really lifted my spirits high and i liked the young dudes last night, yeah he was rad

when i got home, i watched june’s poetry slam on youtube, and dude, i sounded great

because i don’t believe in horrible teasers treating me like an old fogie, trying to get me to look worried

i don’t **** people off, but i am aware of my age, but i go to poetry slams to have fun

i go on youtuibe to have fun, i write stories to have fun, FUN, i tell you, i go to the christmas carols to have fun

i don’t want voices trying to get me to **** myself, i love my life for that

i know when i was young, i was a tad different to the other kids, but i wasn’t shy, i played basketball i played bowling

i went down the waterside at jamison and i wasn’t scared and i went to the movies

i went to the raiders every weekend, and mate i was a real teaser, and i know i am getting older, but i am ready

to make the poetry slam really work for me, you see i remember when paul berenyi asked me to look at these dogs

and he stuck a drawing pin on my ***, i felt, what fucken give dude, and i wrestled with micheal wright on the green grass

i know i am old now, and i can’t expect young udders to like me, like they used to, but i had a great conversation with

this man named rodney about things that make the poetry slam great

you see my voices are in the past, i ain’t living in the past, i really like my life at the moment

i don’t care if i look like my dad when i am on my computer, but i love computers, i always loved computers

i am constantly told in my head, my poems ****, but i can’t expect everyone to like them, but they should keep their opinions to themselves

because nothing anyone will say to me, will jeopardise my performances at the poetry slam, because it’s so much fun

i must admit, i get inspired my kids on youtube and television

i know i was a koomarri to muck around with, and i still believe in mucking around with my old school friends

i just don’t like these odd movements i get from my medication, i want to lift all my bad fiucked up thoughts up

but that is all, no more, i believe in having a lot of fun, reading writing and watching youtube

i only went to the mall all the time when i was living in mum and dads backyard, to show my independence

and now, i don’t need to be there 24 hours a day, be cause i have my own flat now, i am independent

i really hate when people are trying take my cool credits away just because i ain’t doing what they say

you see i am planning to go on a holiday on the first weekend of october to bate mans bay

and i am off to the carols in the domain on the 19th december

and i might not have very much money, but i can still plan holidays, i want to go Perth one day

i hate when the ghost of my father is trying to make me clean my house the way i used to

cause ya know what used to did, he just used to, my house is clean, occasionally i like to fall asleep on the couch

and do my tapestry, you see dad is being a dad, as he is trying to make me remember my past

i ain’t living or dwelling in the past, i believe in being nice to the youth of today

because they are the future, and i wish online stalkers will leave the young dudes alone

because social media is fun for people of all ages

you see, i want to show the world, how much i support the youth of today

the intellectually disabled and the mentally ill, of today

because my voices are judging me because of my past, and i hate that

saying, don’t muck with brian, because he kidnapped a kid

the truth is i never kidnapped a kid, i just was a crazy person back then, and i don’t want to dwell in that, alright

and i want to enjoy doing badslamnobiscuit, despite my voices saying i am not young

i don’t want people treating me like a cool kid to a tease, ok, i know my stuff can really entertain for this and future generations, dude

so, let’s have fun, dude

am at the rainbow and to my surprise the cooking group has been cancelled
Oh what a shame dear god desr fella
You see it's enough to drive you completely bonkers because I am having thoughts of when I cooked at the rainbow and it gone all crazy
You see I am a bit crazy thinking it is a job and all but I want to rid all the horrible teasing from my brain and the cooking group would have been a good thing to do today because it would have given me the thoughts that I had in 2003 when I was well and another's thing too
I would have felt better in the process
It is not my cup of tea to be like these people here because they are crazy abd stupid and I want a chance to be the best of my ability
I know this looks weird but I just enjoy sitting in the nice peaceful room
You see I wavt to open or work at a homeless shelter where I can help the homeless get a hot meal and I want to start up pool competitions between the poor people of this community
You see they are suffering every day
And some of the workers don't give a rats *** about what happens to the poor all because they are very lazy
But I think they need to be given a break because they have problems
Abd as long as are looked after they will
Be alright

You will make Ma feel like I was your best friend that I have ever had
Playing around in the park
You see I wanna feel happy about being alive in this building and boy would you love to see how many chicken **** dudes are walking around trying to find
Out where their next meal is coming from and my best friend that I have ever had is climbing over mountain after mountain and as I reached the top I said
Cowabunga dude and I partied right from start to finish, you see I miss my father, so I watch his next life because
Dad is unleashing his spirit onto her very tiny body and I am sitting here thinking seeing my dead grandfathers spirit walking around and everyone is sleeping and falling to drop off into outer space

i am not a rich ****, i am a home body

i don’t want to be a street kid, cause i am a homebody

i don’t want to be a bigger anything, i am a homebody

i ain’t an old fogie, i am a homebody

i don’t want to get teased, just because i like staying home, because i am a homebody

i don’t want to get killed on the street, cause i am a homebody

i don’t want to get evicted from my flat, because i am a homebody

i don’t want to be treated like a homeless person, cause i am a homebody

i still want to help homeless people get a good life, cause i am a nice home body

i don’t want to holiday in the YWCA, i prefer a 5 star hotel, like a homebody

i don’t want to carry my belongings to the sports events

i leave it at the hotel like a homebody

i am not a hooligan, i am a homebody

i don’t want to be treated like a christian, because i say am a homebody

i am a buddhist homebody, i really likes to PARTY

i want to respect my neighbours, though, cause i am a homebody

i still want to go to the poetry slam and have fun, but i am a homebody

i want to go to the carols by candlelight, just like a homebody does

taking a picnic lunch, just like a homebody does

i am planning my holidays, like a homebody

it’s hard, but it doesn’t bother me, cause i need money, like a homebody does

i do my art and be creative, like a homebody

i write my stories, like a homebody

homebody home body 1 2 3

i am a homebody can’t you see

i don’t believe in being horrible to the homeless

cause i am a nice home body, can’t you see

i am a homebody, and proud of it, i am a cool homebody

in the years between 1100 and 1167 there were two doctors who lived in peking in china

who were looking after the townsfolk, they didn’t have the technology they have today, just coca cola

and methane and yetta, which is now currently known as ICE and they had mould, which helped in

the process of deep cuts and ebrasions, one doctor was harry darker and with him was his wife franceska

darker, and they changed the feel of china, saving people’s lives, you see back then, anger was the most

desirable thing, which meant, if you got angry, you have to wait even longer, harry darker was the ICE king

and loved to experiment with it to one day end the world of suffering, and also harry gave methane to kids

when they had chest colds, but methane wasn’t the best thing for it, but there was nothing else, so they

had to make do with methane, franceska specialised aliens, you see let me explain that further, you see

people are aliens and every day we have to understand that aliens are dead earthlings and what people heal’

themselves up there with, should heal well, down here on earth, you see franceska used to go around on foot with methane

and ICE in her backpack ready to heal the wounded chinese travellers who are going about their journeys, and

franceska was so good at her job, she was asked to be the doctor aboard the boat to england to help make people better,

unfortunately harry wasn’t allowed to leave china because he didn’t have a 1100s passport, which was a medicine license

you see harry just knew what he was doing, and nobody knew what he was doing, but then he met franceska, who was a

licensed doctor, but of all the things franceska did to help harry, giving him a license wasn’t at the top of her list, and besides

which franceska knew that there wasn’t a hope in hell for the authorities to find out the truth, so they just turned the other cheek

and then franceska boarded the boat and was ready for a voyage of a lifetime to visit London in england, on the way there, 13 paople

saw franeska, complaining about back aches, which franceska gave them some ICE, and a few people worried that their minds

were starting to go crazy and franceska gave them methane, which today wouldn’t be trusted, but franceska, also helped a few of

the ships children, by giving them ICE, to calm them down, and then, franceska went down to the kitchen to have her lunch getting

lots of good replies as she passes and days and days went by, as franceska was seeing patients and then they entered the united kingdom

where they dropped off the chinese immigrants and picked up the british immigrants going to china, and franceska sat down at the british port

hoping that, she can finish this journey as she missed harry, and on the way back to china, some of the british went to franceska for medical help

but the british were too proud to let her help them, because for the simple reason, they didn’t believe in this kind of medicine despite it is this medicine

or death and then henry the 5th came in to visit franceska complaining about stomach cramps, and franceska gave him methane and mould from cheese

to rub on the stomach 3 times a day, and this might sound crazy, but this plan was smart enough to work and henry the 5th did the wrong thing, you see he

overdosed on methane and ate the mould, which wasn’t a great idea and franceska said to henry that wasn’t your smartest decision, wasn’t it and henry said

i am sorry, i just have got a decease of when i have something in my room, i will eat it, and franceska said, ok i will give you some ICE, but you mustn’t overdose

because this drug can be fatal and this made henry scared to overdose and took the ICE and went to his room and this time he didn’t overdose on it, but

the methane was beginning to make him feel sick, after him overdosing on it, and then david greatless came in to see franceska complaining about really bad

stomach cramps, maybe from the poison from the fish they had at dinner and Franceska gave him ICE, to settle his stomach down and after 2 days of taking

the ICE his stomach stopped aching and when they arrived back in china, franceska went to harry and they went about their normal practice, and people were injured

left right and centre and franceska in about 4 weeks, was asked to be on the boat to the USA and, this was a very bad journey as franceska had her hands full

with a flu epidemic and everyone got the flu, especially the ship’s crew, and then the boat stopped because nobody was fit enough to steer it, with the only well

person being franceska, who didn’t know how to steer a boat, but she did try and the boat ran out of gas and franceska fell off the boat into the ocean and despite

her losing the methane and ICE overboard, franceska swam with all her might, to hopefully find land and then after she almost gave up hope, she arrived on

this island which is now known as Australia, on the port of adelaide, and despite franceska being a helper of all, she arrived at port adelaide really cold and hungry

and had no memory of why she was in the ocean, franceska went under the name of terri halter and lived in a rundown farm near where the adelaide cbd is now

and while she was there she drew these lovely pictures which made the townsfolk very happy and in about 3 more weeks franceska died and if you are worried about the boat

someone noticed them and they were saved, but that was franceska’s last ship as a doctor, and that ship became one of her art works, in her next life, franceska was betty robson

who lived in a place which is currently california, and she loved that family

i am franceska butler and i looked over harry in china, for 5 years before harry sadly passed away

as i said, i am franceska

you see i am a family person

i don’t want to have cyber bullying get the better of me

you see i ain’t calling for it, i don’t want it, i just want to get respected

i don’t want crazy people cyber bullying me

like today, i saw this crazy person following me

i tell him to *******, you see crazy people walk strangely and stop every 5 minutes

i know i have to be careful, but i want these people to get away from me

i am a guy, who needs a break, please leave me alone

for i am a family person who needs a break from life

i hate the army, i hate being shy, i hate hooliganism

so why don’t you leave me the duck alone

when i feel my body, there is an itch, which is the cool kid i used to be

and if i ignore that, i get treated like a shy person

in which i can’t stand, you see i want to be treated like i am a person

who is a tad different to the other people

you see when people get an itch, it’s simply an itch

but for me, it’s my cool kid coming back, or it’s my shy person

i want these visions to stop, i don’t know why i get these visions, i could be different, but i won’t admit it

i class myself as the same as everyone else

i think it’s an awful thing to call me a shy person

because i ain’t shy, i can talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles

you see i don’t want to be a victim opt cyber bullying because it can be dangerous

i feel my childhood cool kid coming back into my foot, but i will find it hard because nobody understands what kind of cool kid i mean

you see cyber crime is awful, nd in hindsight it’s not what i am about, but i still find my poems great, greater than anyone else’s

my artwork is great too, and if i make a selling, it’ll mean i am part of the world, in a big way

mind you i felt part of the world when my youtuibe videos were getting good views, it made me happy

i am not saying i am better than the world, but i know i don’t want to be treated like a shy person or like i am too woosey for life

i am watching neighbours and what happened to ben kirk is wrong, because he doesn’t want it

and a lot of social media, is that nobody wants to be put all over it

the only hooligan i am, is if family people bully on social media, i prefer to be a hooligan

you see i put my writing and art and my youtube interests on Facebook and nothing more

because i don’t want to be a crazy person who gets bullied on social media

i hear voices from people who say, shut up ****, your still.like us

i am too old for the hype of facebook, i prefer to be left alone to enjoy life

my feet are bringing my cool kid back to me, and leave my shy person to go down greener pastures

you see one person goes, no, no, no, let me tease you

you are a hooligan, and we wanna tease you

no no no, we want your money, we want your money

give me your money, give me your money

you see you are still a young dude, your not like your father

no no no, don’t do what you used to do

no no no, you are so easy to tease

i tod them, i am not easy to tease, i am a nice family person

i don’t believe in being horrible, so leave me alone, i am a person

no no no, your not like me, you are still getting teased, buddy

no no no, you are still getting teased

you see your mate is like us brian, your not like us, cause your easy to tease

no no no, your not like us, don’t do tapestries, because your still a young dude

young dudes don’t do tapestries, and you are still a young dude, buddy

i said, i like doing art and if that doesn’t make me a young dude, well i am not a young dude

be4cause i want to be an artist, i am an artist

i don’t want to be treated like a hooligan, or my brother

i am a family person

no no no, your not a family person, no no no your not a family person

then he grabbed some tucker from his fridge and ate it, saying brian is still a family person

and then said no, don’t be like us, no don’t, be like us, buddy

because you are still a young dude, buddy, and you are not like us, buddy

i said, leave me al;one, i am a family person, and i don’t want to constantly be treated like a young dude to a tease

no no no, don;t do what you used to do, no don’t, do what you used to do brian

actually, brian that is what you are meant to do, ya know woosey

no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t

i said i don’t want to be treated like a little young dude to a tease anymore

please leave me alone, and then he said, no no no, no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t

and every time i moved around, he would say that i was a fucken ******, and then said no don’t do what you used to do

cause your easy to tease, briany, your so easy to tease, no don’t do what you used to do, no don’t, buddy

your easy easy, easier to teazse, i said i am not easy to tease, leave me alone

and then he said, don’t say leave me alone, no don’t

i am a family person, not a target to tease, so leave me alone, ****

no no no, don’t speak up for yourself, be like us, no don’t do what ya used to do either, no don’t

i am not a hooligan and they say, yes you are your still a hooligan brian, be like us

i said, no, i want to be a family person, and he said, no don’t do what you used to do

this is going on forever in my mind, please let me get peace

When weak people tease


You see as people go about every day life, they push people around a lot and also another thing they do as well, you see mate is try and tease in a way to make people jitter and even if they might not look like they don't know how to tease, they are teasing they are trying to bring all their friends together and tease them, and they are trying to tease the little shy boy, even if that they are little shy boys anyway, because at least I have a life and I want to be rich and famous, while people are trying to tease in so many ways, like one way they are prepared to say shut up **** every time he says something and when he goes on the computer, he can hear his dad saying be a little teasie, because his dad said that he us shy and some young hooligans said we'll kidnap him to tease him, even if they are trying to make him jitter, even if they are as weak as ****** ****, you see people should do volunteer work and do are had write poems and be cool, while my dad is saying your still either a kid or a lady and my new mate is teasing me with his friends, first he invites me over, so he can be helped by me and then he invitesj some other mentally ill people over and started to tease me with his friends because he is saying that your still a little shy boy, and he will say that he ain't shy to complain about work and remain poor, just as
Long as he has his fun teasing, and he says that that you are still a defensive little **** and you know you need to realise that I ain't shy to tease you buddy, I will drink alcohol over you and then I will go to pub and have a few alcoholic beverages avd say that you are still getting teased even if it makes him look like a ****** geek, and only geeks tease like that anyway, because they try to tease in so many ways and even if they are little geeky kids, they try and avoid being treated like a geek by saying that they are a teasing but the thing is whether they are teasing or not, they are still a pack of geeks and they will all die long and painfull deaths, and they aren't really cool but they will say that they are teasing to avoid getting teased themselves, they are all a pack of shy ***** who really aren't coping with life very well, so they try and tesse, and that is the end of another instalment

computers are fun but can be frustrating

you see you may call it challenging

]but a tad frustrating

but i am battling my voices of being called a woosey

but i am not a woos, i am a poet, a fantastic poet

woosey woosey woosey says my old school mates

as i don’t want to be called a woos all my life

i don’t think i am new and improved, i am a writer

i don’t believe in violence, i don’t believe in guns

ik want to keep my conservative friends right up the ***

you see i am not a hooligan, i am not a woos

please leave me alone you big *******

i don’t want to be treated like a baby young dude, so leave me alone

my school mates don’t understand that i really liked computers

look what i done, i fooled everyone

because i never ever wanted to be treated like a hooligan, NEVER

i want to be jolly, oh ****** jolly

the happiest man in the whole world

you see i hate yelling on the street

because i see people i know turn off me

you see i am a jolly happy soul, i believe in having fun

i likeb to boot conservos, out on their bums

i want to work in a toy factory, making toys for boys and girls

you see i am a family morals man, chuck your morals in the dunny

i want to help the kids of today, be happy little kids indeed

i am jolly, like santa claus, ** ** **, merry christmas

i am a family person, who loves to do art

i wrote a christmas carol titled silent ****

i wrote summer weather and summer wonderland too

as well stop dreaming of a white christmas

you see people want to fight me, i don’t know why

for i am a nice person, from the earth to the sky

i am not a little kid, i am a cool man, oh yeah

i drink heaps and heaps of soft drink as a replacement for a nice can of beer

i don’t preach to other people, man

so i expect nobody to preach to me

i am a buddhist artist, who is struggling, and i love to party hardy won’t ****** sturdy

i want to work, but i ain’t ready for LEAD yet

because i am a bit upset that 2xx hasn’t called me, for me to read my stories

i am not shy, but i believe i ain’t a hooligan

you see i was a hooligan this afternoon thinking i was teasing the little young dudes

but i don’t want to be a rich arrogant ****

i rang up lifeline today, because i felt my voices were becoming too much

one mate i really liked, was pat because he showed me how to cut loose and party

and i know he ain’t my daddy, but he was a very good friend

so i rang up lifeline, to calm down these voices

i don’t want to get teased by my brother and patrick, you see they will say

what’s that your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

it drives me crazy, AAAAAAAAAH!

cause i am a jolly old should and a jolly old soul am i

i don’t want these schizophrenic voices

because i am smart enough to realise they ain’t true

i am a family person who loves art, and that is whist i do

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting

you know what i want to do with my life

is read my poems on radio

and leave more designs on how i can improve the homeless people’s situation

i want to move on from LEAD, unless they help in giving me work on radio

i want to get my art out there, in art galleries

i want to not do work that is pointless to me

i want to be noticed by ellen degenerous

i know i feel like yelling at my head when paranormal voices are forcing me back to LEAD

why doesn’t 2xx let me read on radio, i really want that more than working on some football oval

i am good at that, but i wouldn’t mind talking to people in hospital, like reading my poems

or stories or showing them my art

i want to do volunteer work, in jobs that make the poor people happy

i want my imagination back so i can give ideas of how to improveness homelessness

i am an artisrt a writer, and i can entertain on youtube

i feel better now i am an household name

more people know about the coopers now

and more people know about my life captured in the psych ward

because they are stories i wrote, i want to put my art in exhibitions

as well as find a way to make it in to Hollywood

i want to get paid to host a christmas concert, as long as i have a piece of paper with the headline acts on it, i can do it

i want to have *** with a supermodel, if i can figure out how to do it

i want more out of youtube, like get noticed by someone BIG

one day i want to get paid for going on youtube

i want to be feature act on poetry slam one day, reading selected poems, that’ll be cool

i don’t want to work for LEAD, much, because i can’t understand why they act like kids

i want people to NOTICE ME, i have great ideas

which are

start a mental health TV station

start a arts TV station for free to air TV

A hotel atmosphere for the homeless, in a small run down hotel

giving money to the struggling on the street

please, i am explaining that i help more getting what i want

this is what i want

motorbike motorbikes on the waves

it’s fun to ride motorbikes on the waves

riding can be fun, and riding is so cool

motorbikes motorbikes on the waves

you see he is like evil kanieval

he is like dale buggins

he is like any cool dude, who has walked on the earth

motorbike motorbike on the waves

what a cool motorbike on the waves

riding motorbikes on the waves can be cool

yeah mate yeah he breaks alkl the rules, and that is cool

you see robbie maddison rides on top of an ocean in tahiti yeah

yeah, and i was there in the end with my nice old beer

motorbike motorbike, on the waves, in tahiti, what a rave

motorbike motorbike, on the waves, it’s time to not have a shave

carn the motorbikes, bring on fun

give conserves a boot up the ***

motorbikes motorbikes, yeah we’ll have fun

yeah, up with surfers, having some fun

motorbikes motorbikes, having a lot of fun, ooh yeah

uncanny xmen said it right when he said he doesn’t want to work

because a lot of the bosses are big fat rich ******

they don’t care what the needs are nor do they care for they want to do

you everyone wants to work, i will do my art

everyone wants to work, i will do my art

art can be a job, oh yes it can

you see you can meet real famous people, if you concentrate on art

you see only rich ****** do what your bosses do

especially when your work isn’t up to scratch

everyone wants to work, i will do my art

you see everyone wants to work, i will do my art

i help the poor because the rich don’t give a ****

i want to give conserves one almighty hit

you see brian man nix said it right, when he said life is too good to work

doing art is much more fun, and if you do it right, it can save the future too

everyone wants to work, i will do my art

vic buckley, is a real australian big fat rich *****

everyone wants to work i will do my art

CAUSE ART IS MY JOB, GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT

check my art on art colony under brian allan yeah

you see doing unnecessary jobs is not brian allan’s stuff

i want to help the homeless every chance i get

even if i have to stop and say

everyone wants to work, i will do my art

and that makes me happy, i am an artist

a friend to the homeless a friend to the poor a friend to the young

in a way that suits me

everyone wants to work, i will do my art

i like ellen degenerous cause she is a cool party dude

she dances at the start of her show

and gives prizes especially for the poor

she introduces a lot of young performers

giving them their first big break

her show is entertaining oh yeah it is

ellen is a lesbian, but who cares, she is entertaining

i am not a homophobe, i believe in watching shows

instead of judging opeople on these shows

ellen degenerous is a cool dudette

her sow is packed with entertainment

and she dances like nothing else

she gives away a lot of prizes

yeah she is rad she is rad

she helps the poor

she shelps the young

if anyone is cool, it’s because of her

if i had a show on TV, it’ll be just like hers

ellen degenerous for PM, of coolville

it’s amazing how i could transfer myself into a girl


you see i have this problem of seeing on the floor

so i do the girl thing, and sit down on the toilet to do a wee

it works, because ire’s embarrassing to be a guy

so i sit down on the toilet an d wee, and nothing goes on the floor

i don’t care if i look like a girl, it’s better than seeing my pants

and it’s better than being treated like a little yeah mate yeah kid

because if you have problems with seeing on the floor

you sit down and be a girl, and wee sitting down

i know it seems weird, but i am a girl

i have problems seeing on the floor, so i will be a girl

i don’t want to be an embarrassment to the guys or any other member of the human

i know i am getting help with my housework, by home help

but at least i am trying to better myself, so i will be a girl, to stop me seeing on the floor

because the guy life doesn’t work for me, so i will be a girl

do my art and sit down on the toilet, so nothing goes on the floor

i get fungus on my feet, because i am grotty, but i am no little baby kid

i am dealing with my problems ok, and if that means i have to be a girl, so be it

you see i hear voices of mates saying, shut up baby shut up baby

because i am too babyish to be a bloke, because the little girl life is better for me

i am no koomarri man, i don’t know how to be as perfect as my dad was

so i be a little girl and sit down on the toilet

i am a man who sees like a girl, cause the man life don’t work for me

i am a man who sees like a girl, cause i can’t help it if i stand ***, i wee on the seat and floor

so i sit down and wee like a little girl, better than the yobbos, hey

i am now a little girl, i wee in the toilet better if i sit down

cause i am not a messy little kid, no way hoizei

you see i have problems with cleanliness as well, so i am getting help

so i sit on the toilet to avoid seeing on the floor

i am not shy to be a little girl, aren’t i

hi dudes


i was just watching neighbours and i think paul robinson is going soft

because he is being really nice to his latest daughter and her son

and ya know what i think, i think that my dead dads spirit is helping in the

process of reforming paul robinson, i don’t know how long it’ll last

but it’s good to know that people can change, i am actually enjoying neighbours

lately, because paul robinson is actually trying to be closer to family and not

worrying about money, you see my dad gave me an iPad and a apple MAC

i know dad can be a tad cranky, but he does it over love, and i think it’s cool

to see this, i referred to paul robinson as a real big rich ****, but i think dads spirit

is trying to make paul robinmson a real family man, i hear horrible voices saying

dads not around anymore, but i can say, i believe in the paranormal, and anyone who

hates the paranormal isn’t the right people for me, i think it’s good paul robinson from neighbours

is connecting with his grandson jimmy and he is trying to connect with amy as well, i am sure

this could change, it’s just that i really am enjoying neighbours

you see dad taught me a lot about being safe on social media and i know paul robinson isn’t like dad

no everyone has different qualities, i said dad was like becker, as well, but that was when we were growing up

i don’t have to say i am artist, because i am artist

i don’t have to say i am a writer, cause i am a writer

i don’t have to say i am a youtube entertainer, cause i am a youtube entertainer

i don’t have to say anything, just do my writing and art and not worry about what the cool kids a doing

because i can’t understand why people want me to do what i used to do

all i can say is dads spirit is flying over paul robinson trying to take the rich ***** out of him

i believe in the paranormal, anyone who doesn’t, ain’t the people for me

f you worry about how you used to act do your art
If you worry about how many people you ******* just do your art
If you worry you will be like ****** nanny
If you worry about how many people you ******* don'T dwell just relax and do your art
If you are stitching your problems out of you just do your art
Even if you makes me an old ****
If you worry about you ******* people off don't Dwell and just have fun
Doing your art

am watching wasp sitting up all night
I plan to sleep when I am dead
and I live while I am alive
Watching wasp on TV
Pretty cool heh
I  don't care if dad not around
I still party on a Saturday night
Which is party night
Everyone is getting down as I blast
Heavy metal to the whole street  
And get kidnapped by evil conservative ****
But I can avoid that because I am a party dude

You see the shaytards are way better than dad because dad didn't want his kids to be cool and shAytRds do want kids to be cool
You see dad only used his positive attitude against me to make me feel stupid and ****** oathe I am like those heavy metallistsa and I said I was a hooligan to tease my father and make him feel guilty about not taking us overseas that would have been fun for us but dad is not as cool as the shaytards father because he lacks cool
Dad lacks proper positive attitude
And I have always been cooler than cool
You see my mate Patrick showed me how to have a good time but he ain't my father but he seemed a better father figure than daD and u respect pat as a friend you see if I slobbed my food dad would say eat nicely abs I an geEung dD say that now, why don't you leave me alone you great big old fogie because I like cool people dad is like John Becker always fucken being angry never being cool positive
Hmu believe his words were I don! T want to be cool
Well I don!'t want to show I believe in discipline and that is why I don't have  kids, but I will be a good father
Dad **** of dad out if my life and learn about being cool because cool is the way of the world
See us ya great big old dogie work on  Betty

they are treating goodes like ****, just because he speaks up for himself

you see people tell him off or call him monkey or anything else like that

and he is copping that much flack,

why does anyone do something like that to a great player like him

he is better than any player that has ever strapped on a boot

and it would be a shame to have him leave the game like this

i know they are just using biff, and they think it’s alright

but Goodes is the best player that has ever played for the mighty swans

i love the swans like it’s my life, and i love life

you see i will party with no man who hates Adam Goodes

the fiucken racist ****** they are, i don’t want to get fought over that

because i like people being nice to one another

cheer cheer Adam Goodes is the best

he can put the other teams right to the test

he will lift up his ****** banner high

right to the centre of the sky

what are the odds of Goodes getting treated right

by those stupid Melbourne ites

lift up your banner so high

and shake down the thunder from the sky


sydney sydney sydney

goodesy goodesy goodesy

why are people racist *****

i haven’t any idea, no why get ******

please treat Goodes with respect

because his origin founded this land

and let his loyal hand stand high

onward to victory

We cannot have the new kid getting teased

You see Johnny Hapleton wants to go down the mall
Mainly because he is tired of his little brother teasing him, oh woh
And his family moved into this business mans house
And every day his brother would tease him all day
And make Johnny scared to do as his parents wanted
And yes at night his brother would be quiet
Johnny was sick of it, and said to his brother
Do you value your life, cause if you don't stop teasing me
Just for because I like to e cool, I will come to you
In your sleep, and before you know it, your killed
And the very next day, Johnny went to the mall
And a kid who lived on the popular end of town
Went out the same time as him, and he made a habit if it every time
Johnny went to the mall, he said to Johnny, your like us, man
And Johnny said, I am the new kid, and the kid said your like us, man
Johnny felt like saying, I was a loser in my old town
But instead he said, I am a man, and the kid, ****** oathe your a man
Your like us, man, and Johnny kept on saying I am a man
And the kid said your like us, man we like you, yes we do
We like you the best out of your family
No one in your family is cooler than you
Your like us, man
Then Johnny said, but I am a man
The kid said, yes ****** oathe your a man like us
And since then, Johnny's moral was lifted so high
And when Johnny left the mall, not just at the start
But every time, Johnny would say I am a man, I am a man
And the kid would say, ****** oathe your a man your like us
And we like you more that your family and then the kid
Left saying yes, he's a fool, he fell for it, he ain't like us
And what Johnny heard was be a man, your like us
And really this kid was teasing Johnny, implying that
He is still getting teased, and he is nota cool kid to it
He should just sit there and jitter, but the kid noticed he jittered
Saying your getting tested , oh yeah, yeah yeah
Get ****** mate, and his friend said yeah man oiss off
And it took 33 years for Johnny to realise that
These kids hated him, but maybe they wouldn't have
If he behaved himself, yes that sounds so cool
Oh yeah, get ******, yeah man go
Doing his little kiddie dance to it, making him say
Get ****** mate yeah man moving his feet like he is
Jittering to a tease, so Johnny actually does get teased
But no one really is teasing Johnny
Johnny is in his own little world
But he knows that all now, but doesn't want revenge on them
Cause he's nice


Sent from my iPhone

The aliens are coming to turn young into old



If you are a reasonably young person and you want to have some fun
Make sure the aliens don't capture you and attempt to eat you up
They will start at your feet, after you have a walk
And then he'll put his slimey hand to your mouth, when you start to talk
No matter how many times you relax
You can't get rid of them
Because they seem to want to push down on you, driving you f..n mad
Every time you get off your chair
Your legs are so very tired
And seeing that your under 50, there is something weird going on
You could say you are aging quicker before the rest
But I put it to laziness, you just think that it is aging
And you are ****** fine with that
But now we say, oh yeah for sure
It's the aliens that are doing the trick
They push on your feet, and put pressure on your head
And making your hands move around like crazy
And after a while your brain goes weak and you feel so hazy
You need to tell someone, yes you do, cause you have to beat them, oh yeah
Every time you think about life, you hear voices you remember
And some you want to forget and then the aliens come
And be these friends flying through the air
Leaving you with memories of being teased heavily
Then you tell then to get ******, they say na
Because these aliens are wanting to tease you
And they will do it, and then make you f..n cry
So, the aliens would
Start nibbling on your feet
And then up your leg
Pass the knee
Up toward the thigh
In the waist, and the abs as well
Toward the chest, and now up to the neck
Then after the head he has eaten you up
And then he'll spit out the hair
Because he hates that, oh yeah he does
And now he has you in his trap
You will experience aches and pains when your old
And any thought of thinking young, will leave your brain
So dudes, don't let those aliens win, be careful
You don't get too tired, just relax and beat those aliens
The aliens aren't coming no more, they're leaving
Too bad, boo hoo to you


Sent from my iPhone

Different Strokes reunion at the love planet, formerly Pluto


Gary, Conrad and Dana
You see our world has moved
From earth to flying around in space
For it might sound alright with you
But us dudes, didn't want to die
And now we are dead. There is nothing we can do
We can't be seen on earth you know
Because our lives down there are gone
You see we have different strokes, and you know
Different homes, yes, oh dude, different strokes to rule outer space
You see we're flying around, and we are invisible
We're flying without a care in the world
And those people who want us back on earth, we we belong
We just say, we are dead now, and that is not good at all
You see, we have different strokes you know
And different folks too, different strokes to rule, yes we'll rule
Different strokes to rule outer space
Dana'.  Yes it's great to perform on the love planet, it's so comfortable, don't you think Gary
Gary'.  Yes, it's cool and one other thing, what are you talking about Dana
Conrad'.   Hang on you two, we have reunited with one another, and Todd Bridges is the only one alive on earth, and we need to keep him away from harm, so let's sing another song
Dana, Gary and Conrad'.   You see when Willis Jackson real self was on drugs
I was so upset, oh yeah I was
Because we thought he was killing himself
And we would miss him so much
He can't hear us now, but we can stop him from doing this kind of harm to himself
And that's keeping Todd in the loop, about who loves him
You see he has his family, but we are family too
So whaddaya are ya talking about Todd Bridges
When you go back to drugs, ok see you all next time


Sent from my iPhone

Smoky Dawson sings up in the afterlife having fun
                                   At rings of Saturn


I am sitting up here enjoying the night
Having so much fun
You ser every day I float around
Thinking about how to enjoy the day
You see down on earth, I walked around
Doing my every day things, and
In hindsight, man I really enjoyed that
Yes, I was so cool, I had my very own show
Which everyone like so much
And before I left, I marched on Anzac day
In the city of Sydney
But now nothing can happen
I can't suffer from a heart attack
Or stroke, or get robbed by baddies
You see, any robber that comes up here
We just blast then back,
You don't have to listen to protocol here
No, you don't at all
When you want to play cricket
And can't find the ball
You don't need to look further, cause
You just zap it in your hand
You see this club I am in right now
The club called Rings of Saturn
I come here every time I want and
Everyone claps me, oh yeah
I love my cricket and I bought that to Saturn
And it was very fun, yes, oh yeah
Now there is cricket every Sunday night
And sometimes Tuesday as well
So when the cricket is over, yes we all went
To Rings of Saturn or Jupiter Moon
And we'll celebrate like crazy, man
We will have so much fun
See you later, I am Smoky Dawson
You've been wonderful
Bye



Sent from my iPhone

I party with a bottle of coke
And I party hardy won't starty

Ya see as it hers closer to Christmas ya/ see
You see it's the time to get down and  really party
With corn chips and salsa
And a beautiful wine
And then head off to the pub to
Drink the painters turpentine
Yeah that is poison
Oh yeah ok yeah
Partying is the fun we have
Oh yeah mate oh yeah
I am family person who has a lot
Of fun yeah and I will throw a snowball at you
And you will say ahhh ****** choo
Oh yeah the party is on
It is on for young and old
And I am not old no fear no way
I am a young dude
Cause I like bring young
Young and having a lot if fun
Eating a lot of egg feel young
To make my hormones jump up on edge yeah the party is oh so
Stop treating me like a nerd
I know there is nothing wrong
With my kind of fun
So if you can't except it
Bite ya ***
Cause I party on with my coke
And I get really hyped up and I say
Party party party
You see everyone parties
And that is fine with me
O dance a jig
And I will be a grotty pig
Cause I love partying with my ice cold can of coke
I like partying and being creative
Except me ****
For I am nice


Sent from my iPhone

The story of the year 235
The year of Kris Kringle the
Right wing Santa Claus


You see in the old town of Dublin
Back in the 200s there lived the Kringle family who were the crankiest family of all, with father
Donald and mother trish and
Two boys Lionel and kris
And Kris Kringle was the one who really wanted his father to respect his views and Donald told kris
That he had bogus views that only
Rich people would like, like at the age of 4 Kris Kringle was trying to plant money in the garden hoping
A money tree would grow and Donald trish and Lionel all laughed
At him saying you are a total loser
And you will never get what you want and years and years went by
And at the ripe age of 16, Kris Kringle wanted to leave his left leaning family and decided to squat
On the lawns of the country club
Saying this is where I will end up
Saying that I can get away from those poor bank robbers and
Enjoy country club life, and this country club has big Christmas concerts and chess tournaments
Boxing bouts and Kris Kringle
Was the winner of 56 tournaments
In that country club, they also
Brought bands from all walks if life
Kris Kringle was on cloud 9, thinking
That people who don't want to go to this country club are idiots
And Kris Kringle after several roles
Of playing Santa at Christmas concerts, he had these visions of
Throwing lollies and chocolate bars
Into the audience and the country
Club crowd were very happy and
Kris Kringle had other ways of making fun at Christmas like
Giving a big cake and have pretty women come out of it and kris
Kringle was on cloud 9 but at the age of 26 when Kris Kringle was moving into the villas in the country
Club a gang of train robbers were on their way to rob one of Ireland's famous old time trains and abducted Kris Kringle and made him a hand in
Robbing this train and Kris Kringle was in no right mind to tell these robbers off, so he just kept his big mouth flaming shut and when they arrived at the old 200 century train
Station Kris Kringle was forced to look as he is the ring leader and
Thru robbed the train and then
5 days later Kris Kringle was a arrested and sentenced for 35 years
In Australia which used to be a convict colony and Kris Kringle
Decided to spread Christmas cheer
For everyone on the island and
He parked himself a home in
What we now know as Adelaide
And his house is where Rundle mall
Is currently sitting and Kris Kringle
Got a stage coach every Christmas
And with 3 brumbies puliing on the reign delivering presents to everyone
On the island and it took 7& hours
To deliver these presents and when
Kris Kringle returned he dropped off at the beach we now know as glenelg beach and was there for the official opening of the glenelg surf club and Kris Kringle did this each year for his 35 year sentence and
The people on the terra Australis island didn't want Kris Kringle to go back to Ireland so they killed him
By hiring a truck and running kris
Kringle down saying we are keeping your spirit with us kris and
Every Christmas that Kris Kringle
Was delivering presents ya know
34 years he delivered presents to
People on this island, Kris Kringle's body was buried where Rundle mall
Is today and his spirit really makes
Adelaide come alive in the credit union Christmas pageant
Kris Kringle lives forever
I was Kris Kringle


Sent from my iPhone

Home improvement randy leaves in a black kidnappers van



You see it was a usual Christmas at the Taylor's and randy who was 15
Was busy at the homeless shelter, each day, but one poor man, who was
Getting ****** around by right wing governments decided to talk to randy
And yes randy, being the helpful soul that he is, spoke and joked around
With him, and this man said, how about we meet down the mall, ya see
I really am doing it tough, buddy, and it would mean a lot for me, if you would
Meet me there, and randy, said well, yeah alright see ya there, and went home
And when he told tim and Jill, well they were worried, but they were looking
Out for him and brad said, dude, it's suspicious, I will come with you and
Randy said, no buddy, I think this means nothing and randy went to bed
Already to meet his new found homeless friend and the next day, his homeless
Friend hot-wired this black van and then randy left his house to meet him
And on the way to the mall, the man jumped out of the van and grabbed randy
And randy found himself bound and gagged in the back, and randy struggled
And yelled our, HELP let me out, let me out, but this man drove randy to a very
Dark looking cave, and inside this dave were Indian drawings and randy who is
Unaware of the dangers he is in, was fascinated by these drawings and then
The man drew a picture explaining the things randy is going to suffer from
In here but despite taking a while to catch on, he finally figured out that this
Man, was bad news, and randy now realises his life is in danger and this
Made him very scared, the man looked at randy and said, buddy, you are dead
In 3 days and this made randy so scared, he struggled to get out, and the man
Rang up tim and Jill saying he has their son, blah blah blah, and there is nothing
They can do, to save him, from this trauma, randy was scared, but he was smart
Enough to understand that this could be the end of his life, and he struggled
And struggled to get through but these ropes were on so tight it gave him rope burns
And tim and Jill said, I will withdraw $20-000-000 out and you can give randy back
And then tim though, I knew that this man was up to no good, but the man won't
Budge, he didn't want the money, well he did, but having randy was more important
That any crazy dollar bill, ever could help, randy was still struggling and it made him
Feel like he was suffocating and randy screamed, HELP, I need to get out of here,
I am captured by this homeless kidnapper, well that is whet he was saying, but
The gag was tightly round his mouth, so all that he was letting out was wool lobby
Weeeeeretrtyes, well carp like this, and the kidnapper was really having a field day
With tim and Jill, saying your son is with me, you will never ever get your son back
Cause he tried to be a hotshot cool kid, and randy is not like us, his elder brother brad
Is like us, and young brother mark is a ******, but little teaser randy, is mine, I have
This kid where I want him, right now, he will never escape, no way hoisei, and
Tim and Jill got really worried, as they tried to alert the police but the police had no leads
But they told tim and Jill that they will do their best and tim and Jill gave them a
Photo of randy, and told them that there was this homeless man, who randy was
Befriending and they are pretty sure it is him who has kidnapped randy, and then after
Tim and Jill explained what happened, well, yeah, but if randy wanted it, it ain't kidnapping
But there are more fierce charges that we can put him on if he has your son and if he has harmed your son in an way, like grevious ****** harm, it's still wrong what he is doing
And tim and Jill left and the police did their best, and then a call came in saying a man
Came back to the carpark to find his tools all broken and over the road, and the police went
Down to check it out, and the police said, well we have to alert the Taylor's cause there could be a connection between this van robbery and randy's kidnapping and as soon
As tim heard, he demanded that the police do a city search, which they did, stopping at
Every gas station and ice cream shop, asking if they saw the car and whether they saw
Randy or this man, now nobody can help, cause this kidnapping is so closed off from
The rest of the world and randy was struggling with the kidnapper singing the song,
We're not going to take it, no we are never going to take it, no we ain't going to take it, anymore, and I am not taking any **** from you dude, and as randy heard that, he was
Really scared, and screamed right into the heavens, **** and the kidnapper put the duct tape back on his mouth saying shut up, *******, you are not like us, no more, you
Are like an old biddy's kid, buddy, and the police were still searching and searching
And just as they were about to give up, they saw a van matching the missing cars description near the old fashioned caves, and went down to take peak and this man
Looking suspicious, who was the kidnapper, was trying to flee the scene, but the police
Were too quick and the other policeman searched the cave and noticed randy hanging
By his neck in the cave, but the police got their in the nick of time and they saved randy
And randy was returned to the Taylor's and randy had to have counselling and the kidnapper
Was sentenced to life imprisonment but if he was good after 40 years, he will be could get free, but the homeless man said thank you, I only did it to get a home and all the rich ******
Have to pay for my rent in their taxes, *******, rich conservative *****, and randy
Was having mojo issues from the ordeal, brad and mark helped him get through this


Sent from my iPhone

The crowning of queen Avril


Just the other say Avril Fuller died who gAve Cronus a new face into helping the next generator learn about Brian Allan. And as soon as Avril got up to Saturn last night there was a party, Indian theme done in her honour. There is plenty of fun for everyone, like Bollywood dancers and great Indian food, and methane rtippex all over it, this was a fun way to welcome Avril fuller to outer space and here is slim dusty, with his song for Avril, you've done us proud miss fuller
You see young dame Avril fuller
You have done us proud
You lightened up the world with
Your beauty when people feel sad
Whether we are naughty or when we are bad. Oh Avril fuller old lady yeah
You have done us really proud
You see mrs fuller you are my dame
I really love you oh yeah pretty woman your family will miss you yeah. Earth will miss you so very much, but when you are reborn we will see more life, that would be great.  You see pretty Avril fuller you done is real proud and now my second song, I would lio have a green tea Roth Avril I would love to have a green tea with Av, you see she likes to keep her body healthy but still it didn't stop her from dying which says one thing to me. Don't say you will live forever. Cause that is not on, I would love to have a coke with her family, yeah the Fullers are do great, they make sure everyone is looked after, and then it's time for themselves you see we drink in the time of war. Mate as well In the time of peace, you see I would love to have a coke with their family cause to me they're good mates
And now we bring out our mistress of ceremonies to be crowned queen of Saturn. And Avril said, thanks everyone this has been great, I really really liked being welcomed up here. And I guarantee there will loads of stuff to do up here for everyone to party, ya know Bollywood style
It will be so much fun and I give Tony and Judith a big kiss, then Avril decided to grab Tony by the hand and did a little Bollywood, that was a great dance session for them and then Judith joined in and boy did they have a wow of a time, it was ****** cool, everyone was really happy and Tony and Judith were happy that Avril had found her home on saturn, ready to enter her next life in 9 months, it just sounds so cool mate


Sent from my iPhone

The kidnapping of Brian Allan and Ryan Clark


You see this masked bandit was roaming around the streets of Sydney trying to catch Ryan Clark cause he had this obsession sign he surfer dude, Sam Marahall, and he pulled up on Bondi beach and grabbed Ryan Clark and tied him up and put him in the back bad then decided to go to Canberra to catch Brian Allan who tried to be like Sam in the sports boy bit, ya see Brian Allan started the phantom league and as he left this masked bandit put his hand around Brian Allan's mouth and pulled him in his can and for Brian it felt like being in the back with his brother but now he is with Ryan Clark and this masked bandit has it in his mind to lock these two boys in his bedroom as he goes our avid gets more little cool kids, so he can get rid of thst nonsense of the streets, and get the days back to the dinosaurs years, you see Ryan Clark was very scared and for the first time in his life, he showed his big muscly legs and they were ****** white and Brian Allan showed his muscle legs too and the bandit wanted to chop both these sportswatchers heads off
And he will do it now, and then Mark Marlor went past him and said, your a ******* mate, and he grabbed Mark and threw him in the bedroom as well, yes Brian and Ryan and Mark were trapped forever and ever,
And you all will never escape


Sent from my iPhone