Whose to blame for the homebodies being trapped by street people, Ted of course, he is



You see I had a great life being a homebody making fun of people on the street, but to those street kids, the homebodies are known as shy boys, and Ted every day when the homebodies got to their houses, heh heh heh heh, you homebodies are trapped, we aren't going to ever set them free, because the street kids wanted to take the homebodies to the underpass, and not necessary **** them, just change the homebodies from being homebodies to shy people, because these homebodies didn't really want to play on the street, and when the street kids came over and teased them, the homebodies ran inside saying, you can't get us fella, Ted had fun at this moment, making sure that these homebodies act too shy to be homebodies, and one went away saying that they will never catch him, and despite Ted trying, even to this day to get him, he had never been caught, while Ted has his friend have a few problems like getting teased in the way he did as a kid, because they wanted to stop him from being a homebody, and it was easy to stop him, because Ted has him right where he wants him, and every time he goes home,  they tease him to try to make him go out and get drunk and make trouble for the families, and he got drunk every day, causing trouble every day, and people on the street said, that he wasn't a cool homebody anymore, and if he tries to do what he likes to do at home, the old street kids said they will try and abduct him and put him in a drain pipe, where if the water became high, he would be washed away.
And he yelled, HELP, about 13 times, hoping that a passer by would notice him, stuck in there, and hopefully they will rescue him, from in there, but when no one came to rescue him, he tried to figure out how to free himself, before things got worst.
His other homebody friend saw him stuck in there, and when he called his name, he sat there playing cool for the street kid, that he thought I was becoming, and then he just left his old mate their to die.
When this homebody, turned street kid got free, he got on the phone to one of his ****** mates, to go into his old homebody's house and blast his head off, and he said yes, to start but when he said he couldn't go through with it, he was mad and started to yell at this ****** untill he eventually got sick of him and said, go back to your homebody mate, your not like us, never, will never am.
Then after 3 months of not talking to him, he ended up being shoved in the back of a 4 wheel drive and driven to the edge of a cliff, where this homebody  escaped from, and never saw his friend again, but he didn't care either, because he was stopping him from moving on with his life, while Ted was laughing saying, he's suffering, and this homebody heard him laugh and slowly found his way back to the top, and told Ted, you won't ever get me, cause your a loser, and Ted got angry, and tried to capture him, but he found solace in creativity which worked very well, but Ted still was there, but he was a homebody again, never to ever be grabbed.


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You see I like being young, but I am pushed to being old



You see when I was 11 years old
I was a happy little kid, who loved
To play around and muck with other kid's
Then I moved to my new house
And there was this man up the road
Who grabbed kid's murdered them
Which made me very scared
But, you see he liked me, yes he liked me so much
He liked me so much in fact,he never wanted to harm me
He wanted me to be his friend
And try to keep him from doing evil
And he played cool for me with all the cool kids
Just because he treated me like an adult
You see he liked how I was too mature when I stood up for myself
And he liked how I believed real men's kids watch footy
And sit like adults, while their bros are getting mugged
But that wasn't his fault, he stayed with me saying
Your not a kid, no way your not, you are getting kidnapped
If you say your a kid, so say your an adult and we will treat you like one
But I told him, listen mate you see
I like being young, but I am pushed to being old, by you
So he got up and told me, that I ain't so tough
He said I will be dead, if I tried to be a kid
I said, listen mate, you can't **** or kidnap me fella
And I love to see you fucken try
You are a weakling and I hate you
I told him, ok I will be an adult
But he just left, saying your time is up
And the next night when I went to see the Choirboys
I spent the remainder of the night bribe kidnapped with shy people in a
Kidnappers house, and he demanded my parents to pay a ransom
For me to return, but I am looking like dying
Because, my kidnapper said, I have you
No kid will be kidnapped, because dude I have you
You see you like being young, heh heh heh heh
Yes, I am making you old, see ya later, shy boy heh heh heh



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I want to work at the baseball


Hi everyone, it's me again, and I am telling you this
You see, mate I want to work in the USA at a MLB game
I don't care what match, oh no, whether it's dodgers, or Marlins
Or even the New York Mets or Yankees
I just want to work at the baseball, man
And if I don't, I will get a little cranky
I want to help out at the front gate and check tickets, yeah that's good
And after the game starts, oh yeah, I want to sell ice creams
Yeah that sounds so divine, and everyone will like me
As I sit here waiting to sell them, oh yeah
I will sell to little Timmy, and Fiona, Nicole and little baby Clare
I walk up and down the grandstands saying these simple little words
Ice creams, ice creams, anyone for ice creams, only $2 for 1
Kids were running all over the place, trying to buy one off me
And suddenly this became very busy, I can hardly breathe
After that rush I told someone, that when I die
I will bring baseball to the afterlife, and any nut can play it
Cause up there, we don't need food, water or worry about being fit
Leave that for our earth, bodies to worry about
We can fly around, from planet to planet
Playing 5 hour games, and we can score very high scores
And strike out a lot as well
You see when Ronald Reagan died, he played baseball for Mercury
And he scored 1 home run and then he was struck out ever since
I also saw a baseball star, and he was ****** good
He got three home runs, and then after that he struck out
Their best batter they had, and after he finished doing that
He went into the tent, and he arrived there
When I started working there as a volunteer barman
Where I will sell the beer and spirits
I did that for the rest of the night
Right to the stroke of midnight, and I felt so good about that, oh yeah
And then our very first president, George Washington said, let me batter up, and while George was on Saturn playing baseball against Jupiter and playing well indeed, his earth body was playing at this baseball match I worked at, and Buddha made us meet, you George scored 4 home runs, and this batter scored 4 home runs, and this was the most exciting moment in my entire life
And I will always say to myself
I want to work at the baseball, where I can feel I can really become involved with a sport as good as this, oh yeah


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Anthony and Mark reading a poem on Saturn



You see fellas we are both out of the problem planet earth
And I can tell you, that I am glad and so is my mate Mark
As soon as Mark died he went straight to Saturn
And said hi Anthony, how's it going
I said the medications got you to
Well, mate now you are safe away from people who can harm you
They will never get you again
I will make sure your safe, and you will feel safe
If not now, but in the future, I love you Mark
And I watched those people on earth
Refusing to Cuddle you, with the problems you had
Anyway, I live in this place in Saturn
And my neighbour is great cricketer Don Bradman
Every night, I sing to him
Our Don Bradman, we're just like you,,safe away from pressures that Earth has
Our Don Bradman, as an earthiling you were very good
But Don Bradman, you can succeed more because you are so great
You can average 100 here, and no one will stop you if your any good
Then I told Mark, I know you like cricket, and you love music
And I have the great Micheal Hutchence play for me once a week
Yes, Mark, you don't want to come back to earth
You can stay with me, up here on Saturn
Where we can have a great time, enjoying every day life
And Mark I also have a St kilda player giving me Aussie rules pointers
And I can tell you, that Trevor Barker opened my eyes
I can play Aussie rules, so Mark , I will sing to you
Our Trev Barksr, you showed how to play Aussie rules
Our Trev Barker, as a footy star, you know how the match is played
Our Trev Barker, yes, we'll win it so ****** easily
Mark went up to Trev Barker saying Marks my name
And me and Mark are travelling all over the solar system
Having a lot of fun, cause really the only way you can get here
Is if you really study the bible back to front
So let's have fun, Mark, and really show Saturn how to party
Mark said, yes, the voices have stopped, I am saved
And so is Anthony, both are happy


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Everett street, Wooveburra


One day in the Mython town of Wooveburra, there was a working class street in the suburb of Kensworth, called Everett Street, where their lived former Mython prime minister, Jack Norridge, who was the most right wing politian around, and he only is living in the street because his rich wife took her and his money to make a better life for herself and her children in Sydney Australia and Jack was left penniless and had to apply for the age pension, and mind you he had nothing in common with any of the folk anywhere on this street, you see in one house is a family who can barely feed themselves nevertheless the luxuries they give to their kids, like paying for school camps, and Jack told them, on his day he had his second job at her and her husbands age, and yes, they tore strips of him, but them, they were doing better, which suited them fine, and there were no way they will help him through what he's going through, and in another house is Fred Gordon who was the librarian, and when he came face to face with Jack, and bare in mind when Jack was prime minister, he needed to fund his new freeway, so he nearly had the library shut, and now he's got nothing, he was in no way showing any sympathy for the man,,telling him endlessly, things like welcome to my world ****, and your not so big now, Jacky, you will be killed within 3 months, mate.
There was a young couple, what about 16 and 17 who have 2 kids and when he walked passed,,the young couple always wanted to chat to him, and they chatted about why the **** did they cut their grandmas pension, she had to stop giving us gifts, and then they called Jack a two faced slimey old cow, and Jack said, sometimes we have to cut back, then he said have a look at me, and then the couple said to him, your problems are ******* self-inflicted, our problems are just us finding a mojo that you ***** won't let us have, and then Jack was getting very nervous, and went into the pub and when he got in, it looked good, and people Said hello and when Jack asked for gin and tonic,everyone looked at him, and also one ,man said to Jack, hey are you former prime minister Jack Nortodge, and when he said yes, he laughed and he laughed at him and then punched him square on the gut,
And Jack said, I will get my lawyer onto you all partiers, in my day we all did an honest days work, none of this few drinker happy hours like you guys get, and then one drinker said, well in your day when everyone did a honest days work, does that make you different to the world, cause you haven't done an honest days work ever, so ******* right wing fascioust, and Jack left to go home seeing people throwing thier fists at him, as well as sticking their fingers at him, and then Jack said, I am going nowhere, so get used to me Everett Street, I am here to stay, and every resident yelled out, but our towns heritage won't be, you'll turn this street into Las Vegas, if we give you half the ****** chance, and then Jack went inside and all the residents went to the pub and tell of all things that Jack has done wrong for the country of Myth, and everyone hated him with a passion,,and that's what happened on Everett street this week, I hope you enjoyed it.


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My old friends want my mind to be filthy


My old friends want my mind to be filthy, you know ******* girls and making them cry and then having make up ***,
Then you go back to talk with them, they say don't be shy or a freak mate, just go up to a girl and make a move, I told then what about the aids virus, and I got no money for a ****** and instead of giving me a ******, he just said, mate, sometimes you have to live dangerously, it doesn't matter if you die, ya know, don't be scared, oh no, you can guarantee you'll be in a better place, than this ****** hell-hole, I told him I want to be liked and I want to be healthy as well, Maybe I will go to a better place, pal, but I ain't ready to leave, no mate I ain't going nowhere, and you can't make my mind filthy, I want to be more to a girl than a *** toy, so ******* mate, and let me be the way I want
So if your friends want your mind to be filthy
Just befriend them and find a new friend in
Creativity
No filthy mind for me, pal


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Trev is a young dude and he needs to be liked by all




Trev is having a hard time getting teased by his little bro Markie, who was a real little cool kid, and when I say cool kid, I mean he does all the popular things, and all the rough cool kids loved my his brother Markie a lot, and Trev, is just a regular joe who likes to just go down the shop and have drinks, sitting down talking about fathers who were fairly strict, mind you Trev had all respect for his father, but that doesn't stop him from ratting him off to friends over a nice cold can of coke.
You see Trev had a main best mate named Heath, who was a real friend, well at least Trev thought that as Heath always seemed to listen to him, but Heath wanted really to be a cool kid, while Trev just wanted to talk about the things he watched on the TV, and he said a lot about that new music show named Later with Jools and Trev said that Jools Holland was a real hero for music fans to see their favourite music, and I know that sounds like what cool kids talk about, Trev, who, yes I haven't told you, as autism, and he gets obsessed with music, and every conversation was about music and being cool calm and collected.
Heath, didn't want to upset Trev but really he didn't want to listen to every conversation about music, you see it drove him nuts, and Heath didn't have it in his heart to tell Trev, because it could hurt his feelings, but really Trev could throw a tantrum, and Heath cared too much for that.
So Heath became Trevs only friend and came over to his house every weekend to play with him, but when Trev bought out the toys and started to talk about baby talk, you know he was only 8, but Heath didn't speak like that, and even Trevs younger brother Markie who still was using his mothers pet name as his name at 6, he was more grown up, and Heath often tried to tease Trev with his brother, and yes they teased Trev, and Trev was getting very angry, but he kept on trying to talk to his friend, he said ' who do you want to win today in the first round of the AFL, and Markie said how about we choose the team you aren't going for, and then Trev told Heath to come to the shop to buy a drink, and talk about problems with our families, cause Trev was thinking that just because your family has enough money to support you, it still can be a nightmare trying to grow up in a family like that, and Heath, who was getting sick of Trev winging and whining, just said to him that he liked him, and despite of what he says to his brother, it is just a joke, but of course Heath is a kid, and he was a poor kid, so instead of saying what I just said he said, that is what he meant, he actually said, you know , yo, man, wots, happning, ya fams orye qui comply, which you know Trev thought was complete jibberish, and started to think that Heath didn't care about him and sort of gave him the cold shoulder treatment, and Heath sort of noticed the chemistry trying to actually understand, and said his jibberish, which was yo man wots up,
Yo dude, ya nid ta liten up, and Trev was tired of this language and started to wonder why a friend of his was talking like this, this talking isn't proper talking, it'total jibberish, sure he is nice to me, but he speaks this real spastic jibberish, it drives Trev nuts, but really, he has no friends, at school, but he was honest, in that he couldn't figure out what language he spoke, and his brother Markie who heard him wonder what these words were in his mind on his bed, Markie started to teaee his brother saying, you are so ****** *******, you don't know anything that cool kids know, you stupid old ****, he is being cool, you see, ******, he say, yo, ya doin nuttin rye, ya stipid and yo a fu-en ritarded, spaz and Trev really was hurt, mainly because of the way he said it, because really those words meanr nothing, you see they are just words to suggest that kids can tease people who are disabled, so they can't figure out their goings on.
This kind of teasing was going on for days and days, and Markie was a real cool kid, everyone liked him, yes, like all kids want, Markie was popular and then Trev and Markies father noticed that Trev was starting to feel low, and really he tried it make Trev feel better, and yes Trev was normal enough, but his autism kept him from expressing how he feels about Markie and his friends teasing him, and his father and mother sort of were starting to figure things out and when Markie got home, their parents told Markie to behave himself and stop teasing his brother, and then Markie jumped up and said yo da, u
No tes ma bro, u spikin I tun, and then their dad said, maybe, but he ain't like the other kids, he has autism, and you know he needs to feel like people care about him, and Markie  moved around saying I ain hippin he, and then their dad said, if you don't I will ground you for weeks, and Markie promised to make an effort to be nicer to Trev, and Trev really was excited, so excited, be started treating his brother Markie like Heath, and then he thought he was a cool kid, and yes, Trev wanted to treat Markie like a ******, but unknown to Trev, their dad told Markie to go easy on him, but Trev got hypo over the fact that he was a cool kid, kids even said he was like us, man, but still Trev was still too disabled to know young words, but it didn't worry him, because the time his new cool friends noticed it, they were getting too old to tease people that way, even Markie moved on in the adult way, yes maybe This is the time for Trev to be an adult and not worry about being told he's stupid, because only losers tease like Markie used to, because that is just childish, and everybody lived happy through their lives, even Trev, the end


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The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end


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A dis abled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing



You see disabled man just bludgers, and if any pretty young
Lady starts working to help them, they play with their hair
And quite often really annoys them, and it is not just because
They are playing with their hair, no they don't know squat
About how to get out there and actually work
Well, they will work, but in small lots and also
They will take days off to go to see parades
And then look at all the workers, saying
You stupid little ******, little fool
You are trying too ****** hard to teach us how to work
And you are making us laugh so hard
Of course whether he would say that, no one knows
Cause he is disabled, he doesn't really know any better
He thinks he is being cool with us
The best thing to do is have a lot of fun
And not get in the bosses way, at any time
Especially if the boss yells at them, or gets sick of them
Instead of keeping around them like them like a bad smell
Like the disabled man usually does, and let me tell you
He can display signs of anger and it often interferes with
Their work, and after that the disabled man
Will crack himself laughing if anybody was getting yelled at by the boss
Like he is in primary school, you know the way kids act when
You get in trouble with the teacher
The disabled man does work, but you know
Often they show limitations and also they are too disabled
To know why things happen, and I start to think, that
The reason why liberals hate disabled people
Is they can be angry little *****
When they ****** think they're right
The dis abled man will work but they still will act
Like a kid, when they are either told to clean up
Or go over the job again, because they are trying to tease
Yes,  dis abled men have no work ethics, still like school atmosphere, and
A disabled man doesn't do a good job because they are teasing


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Come on mate, get out of bed, I wanna muck with you, your cool now





You see Simon Catchwell went to bed, and tried to get some sleep
And his friend was trying to keep him up, because he tried to keep him up
Because his friend didn't want Simon to hang with him
And also his friend didn't want Simon to go to bed with the family
Because he said, that real men, stay up all night and relax
And enjoy himself and get kicked out of his apartment
But Simon said, no I want to sleep and get plenty of rest
For doing my stuff tomorrow, but his friend said to him
Be an old fogie, and I want to never see you again
Cause dudes, I am cool, yes, I think it's so grand
Simon told his father, ******* and go to bed with your wife
And then Simon called him a great big ugly snout
And said he ain't like one of the cool kids anymore
And I want some kind sir to rob Simon and
Then after that, keep him ******* in the basement
And never oh never will he escape, and, yes, he will be dead forever
His friends said come on mate, get out of bed, I wanna muck with you, your cool now
I don't want to tease you while your sleeping, you aren't like us, dudes
Because you guys aren't like us anymore



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You see I am a drunken *****


You see I am a drunken *****
I get drunk every day
And all my friends treated my house
Like a night club anyway
You see we'll drink one and then another and drink more and more oh yeah, you see when I get drunk
I have a lot of fun, teasing my folks to make them understand I wanna be cool
You see I am a drunken *****, I get drunk every day, and I really really party, yeah,man I had such fun
And now I go to the local mall and offload all my problems, they actually say to me, tell someone who fucken cares, then after I leave there, I head straight for the CBD, and wait for the pub to open, so I can start off getting drunk, you see mate, I was having fun teasing my dad, and I never killed him no, cause I just having fun, and he tried to take it out of me, you see I am a drunken *****, I get drunk every day, and I have so many beers, yeah I enjoy it so very much, yeah, boy am I so cool
Then the next weekend I went to the Raiders match and I saw the Raiders win and that made me happy, yeah
And after the game, I went to the pub and partied with all the guys and we sang old drinking songs, man we were having so much fun, and I drank beer after beer and another beer to follow, yeah I feel so cool, and all my friends think I am a loser, but that doesn't bother me, because I am a drunken *****, and I get drunk every day, I sink one down my gullet and after that, I through another down, I feel so cool, I am a drunken *****
And beer is the medicine oh yeah


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I love getting drunk at the pub on a Saturday night





You see I want to go out and have a good time
But I am too ****** creative, and I want
To enjoy myself at the local sports hall
Playing basketball, soccer, and aussie rules
And then we head off to the local sports bar
And I will drink a local *****, with a few extra beers
Then after that we go on a fishing trip
Where I catch the biggest trout I have ever seen
You see I catch the trout and I eat it too
Then I head off to the garden party
And as we go to the garden party
We'll celebrate with a nice rich bottle of scotch
And we'll sit up drinking and drinking and really having a ball
And then when we go to the local park
We say to each other, I am partying so ****** hard
And after thar, I say,come on dudes
This is what I want to do, this is whet I do
Everyone who enjoys being in the rich brigade
Says,,being rich is not the right answer for the right question
Let's get down and let our hair down
With a few more bottles of scotch
Come on mate, let's go out and get a few drinks down ya
You see I am not a yeah mate yeah kid
I want to be creative and be a real cool person
And after that, I say come on dude
And then after that, I see I have a few great chocolate bars
To ease my fucken pain, you see every time
I see the whole chicken legs looking so cool
And everyone says to me, why are you looking so hot, lady
Then I go to the garden party and have a few top beers
And then get topsy and turvy, fitting me with plenty of shame
Come on dudes, I love you so,,I think you are from
The land of the living and the land of the strong
So dudes please come on and watch me swim
My future is looking so very very dim
Yes, I am cool, I am very very cool, I take a few tablets
And I enjoy it and enjoy it, it's so ****** radical, dude
I ride my bikes around the streets, saying to everyone
Come on, let's party, let's party, party all the time
Come on, I want to see how many dudes you say that go like this
How many dudes you know you go like this
Not many, Aunt Psnny, not many Aunt Penny
How many dudes, you know you go like this
And then walked off to the trees and started to have a word
You see people say that everyone is watching me
And making me feel so uptight, and constantly saying to me
What, are you trying to be a young dudes are ya
Trying to be a young dude, are you
Trying to be young dude, are ya
Cause, mate ya still an adult, ya still an adult
You have no fucken guts, to be in this world
Really,really,all of you, I do what I want
Ya great big lug, and mate, you are a stupid stupid baby
And as I leave the old fogies on their own
The women are waiting for me at the local pub
Ready to dance with me, as well as have a few drinks with me
And we'll all have a lot of *****
And toast to the evenings and mornings of the night
Get down, dudes, I am really going to party,, party I say
Yes, I get drunk and I get drunk really bad
Then some man treats me like cool person
And says, be a cool person I talk no fucken crap
He tells me to be an adult, and I say, neh
And he tells me to be a family person, I say neh
I am a cool person who loves to have a party with a few bottles of wine
And I think, that I am the messiah of madness, let's get drunk
And we'll show you off to the crowd


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The day we got a discusting cat



You see when my grandmother lost her two cats
Named mitsy and Trudy, she was so devastated as can be
So my cousins Mark and David found a cat on the side of the road
And decided to give it to my grandmother
And mind you, it seemed a good idea
Yeah at first the cat looked very cute
But after a while it was horrible little thing
You see my brother picked it up
And it **** all over him and I was thinking serves you right for picking him up, mate
And then my brother put it down and went to the bathroom
And washed the smell out of his hands
And the cat tried to jump on me, but I said to the cat *******
You are a timid little beast, you deserve to be taken to the bush
And sent to greener pastures,
And yes, we'll sing born free to him
Or ding **** the cat is dead, you see
I **** on people and he scratched and bite
Yeah he was a horrible nasty, very discusting cat
And the moment we got rid of the cat, the family were saved
Thanks for small mercy's


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Ivy and Jean's visit at two moons on Jupiter



You see ivy and Jean went out in the after life trying to find somewhere to
Party, and Graham Thorne whose earth life is me, all drunk beer together,
You see graham Thorne. Was in the bar drinking and chatting up Chrissie Amphlett and
While Jean Allan is building a new mini mall, which is located at top of the Jupiter, you
See, with her creative touch, she designed each stair well, as well as the special food court,,and she helped build the Great new Jupiter department store.You see Jean Allan is working very hard, trying to keep Brian looking cool and functioning well, so Jean brought Brian's previous life Graham Thorne over to the mall construction site, to dig the first blade of grass, you see, Jean had waited for this moment since she left the earth in 1997, her current earth body, who works for the Belconnen Magpies now as a runner, but he hasn't got much of role, because Jean was busy working to build the mini mall,,and  this made her earth life very sure of himself, and Ivy, who was the head of the Jupiter town hall, said to Jean that she needs to put some marble into the cracks, making a beautiful formation. And then Graham Thorne poured the lacquer all over it, making it firm to touch,



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The end of another instalment of this little battle of teasing dad


I am trying to tell everyone I am cool and dad says you see still getting teased, even if you if you say that
You can handle people ditching me, but the natural fact I ditched him in a way, you see I wanted to make new friends and the friend I came in with just nicked off home leaving me to party all night at the firehouse, cause I thought doing that was cool, I realise that when you drink alcohol you sometimes feel a little shy as you listen to the music that sounds a bit sad but you bounce back up when they play a fast song like La Bamba gets played you start getting down and party down really hard and even if you down real hard, and I also think they treat me like a real cool dude and some men said I was a great ugly snout and I decided to say it too dad, but that was just the start of the little instalment of teasing dad, because he sort of concentrates on trying to keep his family safe, which is cool, and I love him for it, but I want him to realise that I did it to be closer with people my own age so I could avoid being treated like real old fogie when they pass away, cause I want my brother to have a good life and I want him to sort of not be shy to be a man., even if or goes against everything he believes in because we aren't invincible and I don't want him to be treated like me really, or try and do what he wanted to mainly because you can't change the past but I want his daughters to love him for the person he is, and I know that they are saying I am not a young dude for the way I used to act but I don't want the family to say to Chris that they finally got rid of hue yeah mate yeah kid, cause sometimes in life you have to do things you don't wanna do to gain respect, I got teased but I still enjoyed myself
But this another instalment of teasing dad, I want Chris to leave the old fogies on their own big, but I am doing that anyway, but that is another chapter in the saga, I don't want to be like dad to a tease but I ain't shy because I was really cool when I was young


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The fun I had at my new school




You see as I entered my new school, I was given the red carpet
By a friend who grabbed me by the neck and gave me tickle torture
And some of the older girls were saying keep away from me Brian Allan
And just muck with the boys, and then after that I listened to the 70s and 80s
Music on the boom box and I really wanted to hear it, he played songs from
AC/DC, and also from the red hot chilli peppers, and even the best from Billy
Ray Cyrus, and then some of the other boys spoke to me about going bowling
And others spoke to me about getting playboys, and also after that the girls
Were teasing me because I went to bed early, but I wanted to function
Well, so I can feel good and also some of the other families picked on me
Just because I was playing outside with my brother, especially when I was having fun
Playing football, you see back in my previous life, I played in the SANFL and
I don't have to worry about not playing footy in this life and I hear everybody treating
Me like an old fucken fogie, just because I want to go to bed abd get ready for work,
You see my friends are saying to me, through houses, things like, imagine what I would say
If I,,,, and he was so determined to treat me like a koomarri man,,even if I am still cool
And I know if he is still trying to tease me like that, he is living in 1987, where he is looking like a total ****** fucken ******, even if he ain't really saying it, but if he is, it just goes to show, that he is still living back in 1987, where he was actually very hip, but as a natural
Fact, dudes, I don't ever see him out, so I don't want to worry about lasers like him anymore, because, really, yes we had fun times, but, I mean, I have to move on, and if I don't see him again, well, dudes, so be it, he was fun, but I ain't jittering for him, no fucken way, I see visions of him trying to contact my brother through houses, and saying the kinds of things he said to me, he said, mate, don't be like Brian lately, I don't want to teaee Brian really, it just that he is unaware of the kind of old fogie, we treated him like, and also, I ain't a yeah mate yeah kid either, cause if he doesn't answer the phone, which I won't, it's his choice, you see, sometimes when he was young, he was too shy, and I wouldn't mind him hanging with me, but, he seemed to enjoy the family life better, but I never realised he didn't like Lyle, but, no, I don't think he is like Lyle, I want him to go to bed, because, if he works, he needs to sleep, to get rid of any sign of tiredness to face the day at work, you see, sometimes I hear my father and mother teasing me, because I am obsessed with evercise, and also I am obsessed with arty things, and I know dad isn't into art, but also Pat wasn't into art either, but I only want to muck with adults with an interest in art and not the rich ones, I am very interested in having art exhibitions showing off al, my art, and also I know what all my art is about, and a lot if it, is the fun times I had with my friends at school, I love art and I love to put on an art exhibition, and I want people to understand me for the artist I am now, and not the ****** I was in the past. I am aware that people are teasing me, but you can teaee me all you like, but who gives a flying ****, oh yeah, dudes, get ******, mate, get ****** mate yeah man, as you go down the dunny can, and that girl says, we're not mucking with you Brian Allan, no Brian Allan, we're not mucking with you, and the Canberra crowd says, your still like the kids, man,,don't try and be like us, I don't wanna do that again, neh, your still like us, ya ****** buddy, Bri,  urn, so sit there Bri,    Urn and do your stories, you see mate, your still not like us, mate, you are still an old fogie, cause you keep leaving me on my lonesome , and I will say, come on, you poor little baby, I am leaving you on your own, what's wrong little Patty, are you worried that I am not mucking with you, I went to pubs and danced with the chicks, I am still a ******, dude but I don't care, come on Patty, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, and then Pat says, I might kidnap him in a minute, but It was only Pats voice, in fact, it was Steven Bradley, who
Noticed my last life, Graham Thorne, jittering for his sister like a boy, and Steven Bradley has kept me in, so I wouldn't be a young dude, you see he went, trying to be a young dude, trying to be a young dude,,trying to be a young dude, cause you are still a ****** man,
So sit there, Bri.   Urn and don't move a muscle, you ain't a young dude anymore, so u don't want to tease you Bri. Urn, I just want you to lighten up a bit, because, get ****** buddy, yeah yer mate, your like us, but I might yell out get ****** Brian every time he jitters from now on, especially at work, but he is allowed to have music on, but, you know, mate, we ain't really teasing him, and  don't want to tease him, by ringing him up, cause I have a hunch that he gathers it might have been me, who rang him up, but, mate he wasn't like Lyle then,,but I was treating him like a mummys boy, because he is too shy to leave him home, but I heard that he might've moved out when I rang him up,,  I the hell would I know, we don't see much of each other much, you see, jt's nice to live on our own, but you should still go to bed when your tired, and you should make new friends,, and yes, you should talk about cooler things than just about people, but really, we just don't really want you to tell us your life story, but if you a creative keep it up, we're adults now, your cool


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The fun I hear in my head



You see I hear my friends enjoying themselves with a lot of beer and also I hear them getting ****** every day and it can appear they are mucking with me through houses, you know Patrick was a real mans kid who was nice to sveryone, and even to me, even if I was to shy to express myself back then, but still he was cool with me, I still hear him being cool, ya know I am a bit of a **** at the moment, and I hear him saying to me that I am still getting teased, but really he is probably just mucking with his brothers and cousins and probably listening to man heavy metal and head banging their heads together, like they are very very cool.  You see I know it might be hard for me at first because my way at present to be cool, is different to his, and I know he might not want to do tapestries, cause to him he might feel like a little girl, you see I know Patrick prefers to be a man, no he is not dumb, I tease him at work because I like him, but I don't wanna tell him that, because I don't wanna preach to him, no Patrick should just enjoy himself, and not worry about me, you see I am 44 and I want to exercise so I can live longer, I know how I used to act, and anyone can plainly see, that the only way to  get through it all, is through creativity and I am so ****** cool


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The kidnapping of Brian and Mark. Yeah they're both with the great gullet dude




You see one day at the Belconnen bowl, Brian Allan and Mark Marlor, were talking to each other, you see Brian Allan was 32 and Mark Marlor was 11, mark really liked Brian because he didn't want to hassle the kids, he wsnted to be their friend.
So after both Brian and Mark finished bowling, they went into the cafe and there was this strange man who was looking at Mark Marlor's shiny 11 year old kid legs and he noticed Brian Allan hardly any hairs on his legs, and Brian was a man, but because looked like a kid, the man wanted to grab him as well, so when Brian and Mark left the bowling alley, the man got out two bags, and into one bag he put Brian Allan, and the other was for Mark, the kidnapper said, I finally have, Brian Allan, yeah I have wanted that for months, and yeah, I really want Mark Marlor, yeah, Mark you ain't a fucken kid, then the kidnapper said to Steve, who was Mark's father, yeah, I will never give this kid to you, ever and ever again,
And he went to the Allan family and said, Brian, is now with and like us, you see he is now like Mark Marlor, no he isn't like Chris, so suffer, Brian Allan, man, you are not like usses
Anymore, Mark, you are with him, cause you put tape on your mouth, yeah, you are now with me, forever, and you ain't a family person anymore.
Mark and Brian, in the back of the truck, were yelling out, help, let us out, we are too cool little kids, but the kidnapper said, no, everyone else are kids, and Brian Allan and Mark Marlor. Are kidnap victims, and you 2 will never be free, and I will make both Brian and Mark, little young dudes to a kidnap, and I will fucken make sure, that they will never be family people ever again.
Mark was yelling through the duct tape. Stuck on his face, you can keep Brian Allan, because he is a hooligan, but let me go back to bowling, I want to say, that Brian's over, but the kidnapper said back to Mark, yeah heh heh heh heh, his funs over, but so is yours, yeah Mark Marlor, you are not a family cool kid anymore, you are a little cool kid to a kidnap, just like Brian Allan, yeah I have you both.
So the kidnapper was driving on the road with both Brian Allan and Mark Marlor ******* tightly in the trunk, and despite them wriggling and wriggling, oh yeah they were, the kidnapper didn't care, oh no.
And as the kidnapper drove on Cohen Street, in Belconnen about 3 in the afternoon, he noticed young 17 year old Brendan riding his roller blades down the Cohen Street hill, and then as he passed the kidnapper's car, Brendan fell off his roller blades, and the kidnapper got out to pretend he was a good Samaritan, but instead of that, he got an empty bag, and put Brendan into it and them he threw Brendan into the bag, and then the kidnapper went, yes, I have kidnapped Brian Allan, Brendan Schultz, and Mark Marlor, these kids will never escape, yeah I have them, oh ****** yeah.
Then the kidnapper went to his house in Mcgregor, and then he put Brian, Brendan and Mark into his room,and locked the door and said, heh heh heh heh, you dudes will never escape, you see, you three are happy kids, well, now you will fucken ****** die.
Noe Brian, Brendan and Mark, were yelling out, help let us go, please we are fucken being held for ransom, and we are three poor kids, but the kidnapper is threatening to **** these 3 kids, and them hold us all for ransom oh yeah, but then the parents of the3 victims, came to save them, you see they saved Brian and Brendan, and they were allowed to go, and told to never come into their area, but he killed Mark Marlor, right in front of Steve and said your kid is evil, so suffer Steve, and Steve said. Mate. I am glad you killed my son Mark, cause he is a little family kid, who is annoyingly happy, yeah, thanks mister kidnapper you did the Marlor family a favor, so from that day, Brian and Brendan tied themselves up to avoid that again and from that day they were trapped in there, and never to be adults again, the kidnapper was put on the firing squad.
The end


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Y, and a b for *******, the two little idiots



Y stands for YMCA
The ****** Christian *****
And every day they go around
And support each other,,oh yeah
Yes, it's so cool to see these people show off
You see the big boss from the YMCA
And the b for ******* which hang around at the club
And they drink their VB, as well as the Carlton draught
And also a tooheys blue ad well
And also have a nice cold XXXX
Watching the skateboards of the tele
Then after that, they head to the pub
And go crazy on all that beer

Captured in the psych ward
The crazy father figure


Today was a weird day for Ron
As he entered the coffee shop ******* about the short sleep
Night he had after the police brought in a crazy father figure in mate at the bendigo police station and at 11 pm
At night Ron was awoken to get in his car to drive out to bendigo and pick him up and take him to the HDU
And put him into the solitary cell untill morning and Ron then said
We have to spend all day trying
To find out his story and then after
Ron finished his cake and coffee
He went back to the HDU and started to hear his story, so he can be put on the right medication
And be healed and he started off saying he was Robert jones and
He had this pact to daddy one if his school friends who was a bit unstable, but mainly because he wanted to bully him and then Ron asked why did you do that bad Robert said well, I hated what other people were doing to him, so I wanted to get him out of this weird situation and keep him with us heavy metal young dudes and Ron said
Are you sure he likes heavy metal,
Not everyone likes heavy metal ya know, and Robert said, he likes heavy metal, and another thing too
He never felt hostile when we listened to it, but then Ron said, ok
Did he show you he liked sports
And Robert said yes, but he drifted away from that and I hated how he was treated at school, I wanted him to have a cool life and Ron said ok
Why did your mate make this so called (quotey fingers ) complaint
And Robert said yeah but he is dellisional cause as my name suggests I am like a daddy to him
You see he lost his father when he was 12 and I felt sorry for him and
Another thing too I became a good mate, like taking him to footy and taking him to concerts and getting in trouble with the security at night clubs and also joining in on his family  picnics , you see Ron there is nothing wrong with me and then Ron said why did the police choose your friends word over yours, there must be an actual reason and Robert said
He is a fucken back stabber, that us what he is, a fucken back stabber
And then as Ron was trying to figure out that Robert should go on largactil and haliperidol and see what it does and then day after say Robert told of all the bad stuff that this mate did to him like tying up a young girl
And punching his brother Tom in the gut and breaking his entire guns and roses collection and then Robert said he is the fucken one who should be in this HDU, not me and Ron gave him the medication and went home watched TV and ordered a pizza and fell asleep in front of the TV as usual and the next day he went back to the HDU to talk to Robert some more and made him more angrier when Ron said that they have to keep him there for a while but Robert was no snitch and
Said I am no experiment you see
So just medicate me and then let me go but Ron said ok and at the end of the day, Ron went to the coffee shop and spoke to the owner for hours about not really listening to his problems because his hands are tied and Ron was puzzled saying I gave him the medication and I am letting him explain his problems and now
I say my hands are tied and then Ron went home and got on the Internet to find out what illness he has, but he fell asleep looking and then watched a man with similar problems on YouTube and yes, I think this might be the answer to his problem and then he fell asleep on the couch and went to work the next day determined to beat Roberts problems and he will


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Captured in the psych ward
The crazy father figure


Today was a weird day for Ron
As he entered the coffee shop ******* about the short sleep
Night he had after the police brought in a crazy father figure in mate at the bendigo police station and at 11 pm
At night Ron was awoken to get in his car to drive out to bendigo and pick him up and take him to the HDU
And put him into the solitary cell untill morning and Ron then said
We have to spend all day trying
To find out his story and then after
Ron finished his cake and coffee
He went back to the HDU and started to hear his story, so he can be put on the right medication
And be healed and he started off saying he was Robert jones and
He had this pact to daddy one if his school friends who was a bit unstable, but mainly because he wanted to bully him and then Ron asked why did you do that bad Robert said well, I hated what other people were doing to him, so I wanted to get him out of this weird situation and keep him with us heavy metal young dudes and Ron said
Are you sure he likes heavy metal,
Not everyone likes heavy metal ya know, and Robert said, he likes heavy metal, and another thing too
He never felt hostile when we listened to it, but then Ron said, ok
Did he show you he liked sports
And Robert said yes, but he drifted away from that and I hated how he was treated at school, I wanted him to have a cool life and Ron said ok
Why did your mate make this so called (quotey fingers ) complaint
And Robert said yeah but he is dellisional cause as my name suggests I am like a daddy to him
You see he lost his father when he was 12 and I felt sorry for him and
Another thing too I became a good mate, like taking him to footy and taking him to concerts and getting in trouble with the security at night clubs and also joining in on his family  picnics , you see Ron there is nothing wrong with me and then Ron said why did the police choose your friends word over yours, there must be an actual reason and Robert said
He is a fucken back stabber, that us what he is, a fucken back stabber
And then as Ron was trying to figure out that Robert should go on largactil and haliperidol and see what it does and then day after say Robert told of all the bad stuff that this mate did to him like tying up a young girl
And punching his brother Tom in the gut and breaking his entire guns and roses collection and then Robert said he is the fucken one who should be in this HDU, not me and Ron gave him the medication and went home watched TV and ordered a pizza and fell asleep in front of the TV as usual and the next day he went back to the HDU to talk to Robert some more and made him more angrier when Ron said that they have to keep him there for a while but Robert was no snitch and
Said I am no experiment you see
So just medicate me and then let me go but Ron said ok and at the end of the day, Ron went to the coffee shop and spoke to the owner for hours about not really listening to his problems because his hands are tied and Ron was puzzled saying I gave him the medication and I am letting him explain his problems and now
I say my hands are tied and then Ron went home and got on the Internet to find out what illness he has, but he fell asleep looking and then watched a man with similar problems on YouTube and yes, I think this might be the answer to his problem and then he fell asleep on the couch and went to work the next day determined to beat Roberts problems and he will


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I am a cool punks kid


I am a cool punks kid
Who loves to party all day and night
You see I listen to heavy metal music
As well as stand up to what I believe in
You see having *** is really not my thing
Either is mucking around with the men
No I am a real punks kid yeah I will blast the music so loud
I am a cool punks kid who hates the dead people teasing him
He would prefer to live life to the absolute full
I like going to communty events and show them how to party oh yeah
I am a cool punks kid
I party all day I party all night
I party and I don't wanna fight
I want people to not mess with me
Cause I am a cool punks kid can't ya see
I am a cool little punks kid
Yeah mate yeah I am rad
I like listening to loud music and
Watching the footy and then I party properly
Like you get a can of beer and slam it down my gullet with people saying
Skull skull skull skull
I am a cool punks kid
I have loads of parties
And I get drunk oh yeah
Party party party like a punks kid does oh yeah


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The chocolate party
You see all the dear children are gathering around at the chocolate party, you see young bobby Brady
And his brother Peter were ******* in the closet and gagged
You see old mike couldn't understand my dear why this man
Would do such a bad crime
But little bobby Brady who was 27 years old and a really wild party dude and Peter Brady and his mate
Oliver clothes off and Peter yelled
Please free us young party loving boys who were born in a large Corny family but as long as they like partying that is fine
Partying with alcohol and sugar
Yeah let's party to the sound of the flute and party with the sound of poems read by some of the city's finest poets that you've ever seen
And bobby and Peter struggled their way through the rope and gag
Yeah this is so dangerous as
As mr Thomas carbuncle who was
The Brady's hair dresser since Peter Brady was a young attractive sensitive new age guy
Yeah sensitive sensitive sensitive
New age guy for my love oh yeah
And Greg untied Peter and bobby
As they let out a really big smile
And that smile was just stopped by a filthy man's grotty hand and Peter said I am ******* near a pretty girl
Ya know hand cuffed so to speak
And every hour of the five Peter was *******, it made his body feel really weak really really weak as, dudes
And when Peter was let go dudes
They all went to the ******* to really party hardy won't ****** stardy dudes


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If you party right
Into the night
You could get into a very big fight
That is not called for
We must stop it now
So young dudes stop fighting or
I will get my whip
Because violence doesn't solve anything no ****** fear
You see we are individuals
Who control your life
Whether you get in fights with siblings or maybe your wife
Ya see it is the tight time to make your own mind up
Ya see we like to party
All through the day
With bourbon and scotch and a
Bottle of port yeah that sounds so right and Little Peter Brady
Ya know he is a puny little kid
You see he always makes great comments to get kidnappers kidnapping him
And this sounds like great fun
To kidnap Peter
And exerminate his mind and
People say I am like my brother
Because I am big enough for them
You see it is better than being a Little sewing off a hem and I know they are treating me like my brother
Because I am a cool kid man


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Easter party on Saturn


Hi dudes, Briano Alliano at the Saturn club rings and today we have
A few Easter numbers for the cosmic
Sleepers and dead from earth
The first song is Easter is a festival for all

You see we have clowns and bunnies and chickens and
A big Easter egg to crack
You see as we crack it
The chocolate goes everywhere
And the smarties come right out
Saying party over Easter
Party over Easter it's ever do fun
To party over Easter
The Easter bunny, is coming a running over to the Easter party now
So you dudes up here can share Easter till the kind folk find a way
To contact you, so we can party all night
And now here is our next Easter song
Ok it's Easter and you know it celebrate
It's Easter and you know it celebrate
You see Easter is a time to celebrate
With hot cross buns and eggs with colour
It's Easter and you know it
Celebrate
You see it's Easter and you know it
We'll party on
It's Easter and you know it
We'll party on
You see the fabulous Easter bunny , man
Brings the Easter eggs to celebrate
With his clan
It's Easter and you know it
We 'll party on
And now, dudes here is our next song called here comes Peter cottontail
Here comes Peter cottontail
Running down the bunny trail
Picking up the eggs from everywhere
You see he has a powder puff tail
And he enjoys eating snails
From the garden of the queen of hearts every single day
Here comes Peter cotton tail
Up and down the bunny trail
Yeah this is the best Easter that we ever had
Hopping down the Easter trail dropping eggs in each basket oh yeah
Peter Peter little baby Peter
Mighty Peter cottontail skips
Down the trail saying happy Easter
Happy Easter.to us all

And now here is our next Easter song Easter is living living is loving
And a loving family sharing a meal

Celebration a time to party With coloured eggs and chocolate bunnies and a hot cross bin to share
Over a cup of coffee or a dessert for a lovely meal down the club with people you know and love
And then we celebrate a day
For the families who had a rabbit in their house last night or the day
Jesus rose from the dead
Out of his bed, it felt like more of a sleep than death but the bible stayed it as death but Jesus reincarnated on Easter into a few of the farms animals and some people at the dinner table agree with that and some don't agree and it starts an
Easter religion feud ending with
A big happy Easter happy Easter
Happy Easter. And a happy Easter
To all and to all a great night
Then grandmother tells out to the kiddies I think I saw the Easter bunny leave out house this morning
And then asked did he leave you kids anything and then suddenly the
Dinner table had Easter eggs all over it but noone cared for it was Easter dudes happy happy happy hsppy Easter a time to celebrate
And it is a happy Easter from me as well
Happy Easter
And my encore is Easter eggs are tasty
You see we go to the shopping centre and we celebrate oh yeah
The Easter party is for young and old
Yeah this sounds so rad
The eggs are coloured in yellow and blue oh yeah oh yeah
The Easter eggs are tasty


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The jellybean kid

When jelly beans was the things
All those years ago
I was Patrick Dunbar
Who was no chest oh no
You see he was the jelly bean kid
And he ate a lot of them
Yeah taste yeah taste
Yeah jelly beans are so sweet
The jelly bean kid the jelly bean kid
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
His colours are red and white and blue yeah he is the jelly bean kid
You see he would attend the 4th of July parade and mate he was really
Popular there and Halloween, he played a disgruntled hansel year
He wishes he could get away
And at thanksgiving he brought his outfit to the front oh yeah and then
At Christmas he led Santa's sleigh
Out to go ** ** **
All dressed up as
The jelly bean kid the jelly bean kid  
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
He will party like there is no tomorrow
Yeah he's the jelly bean kid
You see Patrick was walking down
Waving to the crowd saying howdy folks
And when he past the drinking crowd he will tip his hat oh yeah
Then will do a little dance and say
How cool he is
You see Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid and said I am way cooler than him, who is the giant frog that is
And he sang
The jelly bean kid oh the jelly bean kid
Patrick Dunbar is the jelly bean kid
Walking on the street in the parade
Saying hello to the drinking folk
And doing a dance for the entertained mob yeah he is oh he is
He is the jelly bean kid oh yeah


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Captured in the psych ward, Jesse Jameson' entry



Today Ron went into his usual cafe to buy a coffee and cake and

While he was in there he met Jesse Jameson who was in the store

Hiding from the police after robbing the local bank, and Jesse proved

That he was a nice gut, ya know too nice for prison and as soon as

Ron heard about the bank robber being Jesse Jameson, he tried to

Convince the magistrate that Jesse needs to be put in the psych ward

Instead of prison, and when Ron did the medication rounds, he gave Charlie

His, and Charlie said, I heard on the news that we might be getting a bank robber

In this psych ward, and Ron said, well, yeah, we could be, it is up yo the magistrate,

And you do know that you have to behave yourself if he does, because he could turn

Nasty, and as Jesse was in the holding cell, he was feeling the hooligan in his feet

In the form of an itch and Ron came in to say hello, and talk about,what the lawyers

Have planned for you, you see, what you need is, you need to be on your best behaviour

You don't commit any crimes between now and next Monday and, there will no problem

Of you going to the psych ward, you see I am bending over backwards and Jesse sat there

Scratching his toes, and Ron asked have you got tinnea or dermatitus in your feet, and

Jesse said no, it is the fact I am in here, instead of the psych ward, you see I didn't mean

To rob that bank and I can tell you why I did it, and Ron said, well, why did you, and Jesse

Said, well, I was hearing voices that I couldn't control, and before you say it, I am not

mentally ill, you see I am just a man who needed a few dollars to feed my family and Ron

Said, well, yeah, we have to get a psychiatric examination anyhow, because you broke the

Law, Jesse, you had a gun, you could have killed someone, you are risking jail time, and if

You pass the psych test, you could go to the psych ward, for as long as it takes for the

Medication to work and Jesse said, ok, so, if I pass the psych ward I get off in a psych ward

Instead of jail, what about my reputation with my mates, we used to laugh at the mentally ill

And Ron said, yeah, so I will come 2 hours before the court case, to give you a psych

Evaluation and then we'll see whether you pass to come here, but Jesse, I am sorry, you

Ain't fit for society, the psych ward is the safest place, for you, so psych test is your best bet

Buddy, and then Ron went home and ordered a pizza and fell asleep in front of the box

And woke up, and had to miss his cup of coffee, to go to the police holding cell to give

Jesse his psych test and after he did that, he gave the test results to the lawyer and went to

Cafe to have his cup of coffee and vanilla slice and said, ya know, that guy who was here

Yesterday, the big day has arrived, and hopefully we will get our wish of having him in the

Psych ward, but, I glanced at his psych test, it looked normal, and I said, this guy was

Hearing voices, and as soon as he had his food he went to the court to find out whether

Jesse will be sentenced into his care and Ron arrived at the holding cell, to pick him up

And drive him to court, hoping that he will get the chance for Jesse to join his HDU and

After 3 hours of being in the court, hearing god knows what, and when the magistrate

Came back, he closed the case, and said, I sentence Jesse Jameson to the care of Ron

Coopers HDU, suffering from schitzophrenia and Jesse thanked Ron, and for the first 2

Weeks Jesse, was isolated from the others till they have his medication right, but Jesse had

A TV in the room and he lied on his bed and watched TV and then Ron brought around the

Night time medications and that was including Jesse's and then Ron clocked off and

Went home to make spaghetti bolognaise and watched TV and then fell asleep on the couch

And Jesse was making noise all night, so much in fact the nurses need to give him ******

To settle him down and the next morning Ron got a phone call saying that Jesse needed to

Settle down, so we gave him a ****** and Ron went straight to the HDU and gave Jesse his

Morning medication, and said, you need to relax at night, and Ron left after Jesse said

I will try, try ******* you


Sent from my iPhone

I hate being a hooligan
So ****** much
Don't treat me like a hooligan
Because really u find that hard
I don.'t want hooligans mucking
With me because they are losers
Ya see so won't ya leave me alone
Ya fucken hooligan
I am not a hooligan I am a writer
And artist and YouTube entertained
And in that I have a heap of fun
Please leave me alone ya fucken hooligan
I prefer to be around happy family chatter rather than being around
People who punch the seat if people
**** him off
You see I am not a hooligan cause I don't **** people off, I am reformed
From all that nonsense of the past
Please don't treat me like a hooligan
I am a family person
Always have been always will be
A family person everyone likes
Dad would say to Patrick
Look he's eating junk food treating me like a normal person


Sent from my iPhone

Good things



You see Christmas is good, yeah the kids love it oh yeah

Getting presents of all shapes and sizes

And Easter is the time where you get hot cross buns and Easter eggs

Yeah, they are very nice

You see as you go to the footy, you get loads of good things as souvenirs

Like blow up balloons and little cards on who sponsors this event

And when you go to the shopping centre there are loads of good shops yeah

Like the taco bar and the aldi store and the fish and chip shop as well

There is a great donut shop, where there are loads of good things to eat

Like long johns with jam and cream and flavoured and cinnamon donuts, take your pick

Loads of good things to eat

You see the coffee shop has a range of nice treats

Yeah the treats are as tasty, oh yeah

You see they have vanilla slices and passion fruit slices

Yeah there are more, too much to mention

You see, the only problem is, which one to choose

Yeah, which one could attract our attention

There are loads of good things around you see

Good for you and good for me

Like the fine young cannibals sang the good thing back in the '80s ya know

And you here Santa going ** ** **

And mother says to the kids no no no

Because, they are only good things for 2 days,a problem to the parents pay


Sent from my iPhone

I hate when

I hate when the people of Canberra
Treat me like a hooligan when I am a family person
I have some great ideas to make this city great like Easter parades with
Really cool floats and XMAS parades
With really cool floats and prolly understanding that taking photos isn't harmful to the kids
You see we don't have anything cool
In Canberra apart what conservative
People would enjoy
Like boring fun day in the park for Easter
When they should ****** well allow photographs
I am not using the photos for ****
I am using it to document the occasion so Canberra's future can be great and I am very skilled
In so many ways
I can so something like have a Easter bunny parade and have cool
Photos to take
But Canberra wouldn't do that
They are so square
Off to bed get up the next morning
I hate bring treated like a little shy boy, just because I didn't show much enthuasiasm as a kid
I wish dad  would get out of my life
I wasn't a hooligan in Woodberry
Dad was, I am sick of Canberra
Trying to push me down into being a hooligan, cause I am not a hooligan
I am a real life family person
People treat me like I am a real
Public nuisance or something
And I saw my old mate pat frowning
At me through the stupid powers of dad's ghost and I can't understand
Why can't Canberra get exciting
Stuff at Easter except for boring fucken ****** rug of war and sack races, so lame, why can't you bring the Easter bunny in for a bumper Easter parade through the streets of Canberra city, anyway I am a writer
Not a phedaphile I am a photographer not a phedaphile
I haven't got what I want in life because people have to make the  big boys with big bank accounts happy
Watch aaa YouTube TV
I can entertain I am no loser buddy
Why don't you try me on Television
I am no phedaphile I am not like the bad guys I am one of the good guys
I wish dad would stop living in any part of my past, I am sick of being treated like a bad guy when I am a good guy
The people running the Easter at eddisom Re total *****
Ya know rich ******
They should be lined up against a wall and shot
Because they are like the YMCA's liz
She was a big rich arrogant *******
They should fucken trust me
And hold big events at Easter and XMAS so I don't go into little events
Rich arrogant *******


Sent from my iPhone

briano alliano performing on the moon



hi dudes and welcome to this show on the moon, and people ask me, how do i perform for you up here

and i said, i am trying to rid the hooligan from my body, my first song is titled, it’s my hooligan

you see it’s my hooligan, and it looks like i have to live with it

you see i had a puff on a ciggy and a spell with alcohol

you see i was an alcoholic dude, but i was looking at it as partying

because that is what a cool young dude does, yeah

you see i bought a bunch of cigars, but they were very strong, oh yeah mate yeah

you can’t enjoy a party with cigars in your mouth

you could get mouth cancer, if you don’t breathe it in man

you see people treat me like an adult oh yeah

they want me to do what they say, i said why should i

i have beliefs of floating up to the moon

while you losers are on earth, probably up here, but not knowing it

i am performing in every club tipping methane on everyone

i want to get respect from everyone on earth my dear

you see my body is so itchy, but that is the hooligan

of my past about 300 years, i remember blackbeard, i wrote my own story

i believe i am him , ****** oath

despite people saying i am not, i know i was greame thorne and patrick dunbar

but they say that, to stop me from living in the past

i believe i am greame thorne, and patrick dunbar, because i used to tie myself up something fierce

i was a football hero, from south australia, named the great albert waldron, **** he’s cool

and i was a great footballer back then, despite in this life, i never strapped on a boot

because of that i was treated like a hooligan, as opposed to an old fogie

and i said to myself, i am a young dude sure mate, but that didn’t take much convincing oh no mate no

ok dudes here is a great song

ya know it’s 3 6 9, the goose drank wine

i chewed tobacco up here on the moon

my dad said, you will die if you smoke

and we all are up in nirvana sipping methane

you see graham kennedy said to me

you are the pride of the afterlife can’t ya see

you come up here and perform like you do

and then you get a hanky and go ahh! choo

and we go 3 6 9 the goose drank wine

lyle called me a goose and that is fine

because back when i was young, i was a hooligan

you looked at his white shiny legs

and when a person came up to me

and made fun of me saying i have shiny legs

i told him that my legs show that

i am flat footed, and lazy to boot

3 6 9 the goose drank wine

i am a hooligan, who teases the olds

people are trying to treat me like

a shyperson or an old fogies kid, I HATE THAT

and now dudes, here is duncan

i would love to have a beer with duncan

i would love to have a beer with dunc

we drink in moderation

and never ever ever get rolling drunk

we drink in every planet, in outer space, oh yeah

i would love to have a beer with duncan cause he is no square

i would love to have a beer with patrick

i would love to have a beer with pat

we drink every drink under the table

and i tipped methane all over his hair, he said, THAT IS THAT

you see we drink in the town and country

to soak up the atmosphere, so great

i would love to have a beer with patrick, cause he’s a great mate

i would love to have a beer with baz-boy

i would love to have a beer with baz

you see we drink each drink under the table

and he will say this, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY, DON’T CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR ME, NO

we drink in the moon and saturn and jupiter and more

i would love to have a beer with baz boy

cause he is learning how not to be square

ok dudes, i am telling you now, that, people want to treat me like an adult who is scared of life

i hate being treated like an adult who hates life

i want to be treated like an adult everyone likes

because, i love life, i live it to the full

i know i used to touch people inappropriate

i shouldn’t have done that

i say i put stuff on youtube, and a girl says, i have no right to do that

she is very very old, she will grow old gracefully

i have every right to put things on youtube

but not according to this girl, but she isn’t the queen

you see i don’t want to be a shy person, i am an adult oh yeah

i want to watch business meetings on TV when it suits

you see i hate being treated like a hooligan and a shy person, oh yeah

ok dudes, that is it that’s all and now i tip methane all over dad

so betty can be a normal kid, ok dude

hi dudes

because of my previous two lives as greame thorne and patrick dunbar being brutally murdered and kidnapped

i have been treated like a little yeah mate yeah kid, you see what i was really saying was please dad let me be like your mob

but i was fighting him like a hooligan, you see the previous lives kidnapping turned me into a little shy boy to the world

you see i wanted to be famous, i ended up in the psych ward

i wanted to be like the cool kids, i ended up grabbing all the cool kids

you see i have been having problems ya see, like last year i was good in my play but this year i am having reincarnation hooligan itchiness in my feet

and i am still watching instead of doing, but i am still doing my art, which this picture is, of me reaching out for my proud fathers love

when he likes the discipline from the army and now i feel he stole the methane smoothie off me, to still treat me like a little yeah mate yeah kid

i want to have views on aaron clayton and aaa youtube tv and i want to have people think i am an interesting writer

i like watching the shaytards and bratayley, i know they are families, but they are cool families, and besides which, ivy gimbert, my gran is annie

from bratayley and my old school mate scott mcdonald who came back as my cat lucky is the youngest son on the shaytards

and i enjoy watching it, i am not trying to get down their pants, i just think they are cool families, but because of my last 2 human lives

i feel i will be begging all my life, and at least i can watch these youtube shows to bring back peace

i feel my dad is at peace now, since i saw his next and current life betty campbell was near jimmy barnes

and this picture is when betty wore a denim shirt and a pink ribbon on her hair

you see i shouldn’t have committed that crime back in 1990, because i could be judged what i watch on youtube

and i don’t want that, i am watching it for artistic purposes, and writing as well

and a lot of it could be religious, you see i can’t read minds, i ain’t doing that

i like famous people and with my gran and nan and dad and uncle ray all in their next lives, i feel they are at peace

and canberra residents say my father in his next life is still like them, and i am still a little yeah mate yeah kid

and this picture shows how much pressure i am under trying to reach out, and now, i am losing my cool streak because

i am going to tribunal hearings instead of photo shoots and acting spots, i am on a psychiatric order instead of a spot on ellen’s show

i want to be famous not be a hardened criminal

and the itchiness shows my laziness like a little yeah mate yeah kid

please read the words and examine the picture

athena is taking my hooligan out of me, bit by bit

the day when my uncle ray became sunday rose kidman urban




you see when my uncle ray pocock died in 2006, buddha was having a hard time trying to put him in

another family, and then uncle ray asked cronus to force keith urban to have *** with niciole kidman

to create a new life, and ray has been trying to search for a way to enter nicole’s body, it was like a

blessing for my uncle ray, you see my grandma who died in 2004, 2 years before ray, decided to

hold a sunday roast when her family went to bed, you see they had methane plants and chicken

and potatoes, and uncle ray decided to die and enjoy this sunday roast of the cosmos, ya know like help make it

and my grandma said, ray, how about when you reenter this world, your earth bodies name will be sunday rose

but you will force barry to hate the name, trying to explain that it sounds like sunday roast, which is cooked by me

and then my grandma invited cronus and buddha and athena to the sunday roast, so that uncle ray can be reincarnated

into nicole’s ******, with the help of keith and when they did the initial bit, it was a good wait, and then in 2008, sunday rose

was born, and it was ray pocock, and ray brought on the roast in her name, sure ray is a girl in his current life, but whether

he is a she or vice versa, it doesn’t matter, you see from the day that sunday was born and then named, this was going to

be a bumpy ride, seeing that ray pocock was a reverend, and died to be apart of the celebrity life, you see from that day ray and

my grandma has been hosting a big nightie conference with the whole family, to reform violence in the family unit, and ray brought

barry allan up there to get him to change the way he talks to brian, and also ray would invite nicole and keith in to meet his

previous life’s family, you see as nicole and keith are preparing to be good parents to their two kids sunday and faith, and ray

was given a job as our family’s joining, so he can make sure we are alright, and that is why sunday rose, is just walking around with keith and

nicole instead of being big youtube junkies, you see they were famous, but they wanted to be there for sunday and faith, for every turn

of their lives, ray was brought toward nicole in a party on jupiter and they bonded, just like mother and daughter, and ray went to buddha

and said, i want to be nicole kid man’s daughter, i want to learn how a famous person goes about living their lives, i like to bring barry allan

closer to liking the famous way of life, and i want to be named sunday roast, and force barry to get puzzled, so the name was not very long away

as the name was sunday rose and then ray was given the new life and buddha and cronus said i now pronounce nicole and keith’s new daughter

as sunday rose kidman urban and in the rose, r meaning ray and o as the second letter of pocock, but nicole and keith has a better meaning to the word

rose, and now sunday rose is 7 years of age, and ray pocock is considering himself the new GOD, flying around keeping all the families together, but the

problem is, families aren’t perfect as we are still having kids being kidnapped and people being stabbed or murdered, and ray has a lot to do

and another thing ray wants to do, is reform brian allan, by getting into his mind and telling people what is going on, even if it destroys other families

but if it destroys the family, ray explains to brian to write with a messed up brain, so you don’t reveal much about what cronus is doing, but if it makes

you as messed up as a hooligan, you must tell, and expect people not to like it, and then ray said, he is the NEW GOD, he is trying to keep domestic violence

and aggression out of his old family, now every time a picture of sunday rose goes on the internet, you can feel that ray pocock is at peace, you see sunday

is enjoying her life on earth, and i suggest to nicole and keith, that they have a little angel amongst them, and this was the sort of angel to lure brian away from

his old mate, because he was too negative, and from that moment  brian’s mate was getting panic attacks, and ray and ivy forced brian not to help him, as

he was a little negative ****, and he needed to stand on his own two feet, as ray got another mate to tease him and getting another mate to make ******* comments

driving him mad, and ray knew this was a hard job, so he made brian rave on about sunday rose and forced a conversation about when celebrities have babies

and then ray teased my mate, by making him think he controlled the world, to, i don’t know, lure him away from brian, because brian was trying to keep positiveness

with his mate, and then as it was hard to get his new mate out of his life, ray pocock forced an old friend to tease brian in his mind, treating brian like a little negative ****

to get rid of his negative friend, so that ray, can enjoy life as sunday rose and ivy can enjoy life as annie from brattayley and lucky can be baby **** and barry can enjoy life

as betty campbell, and not worry about, brian’s stupid mate unleashing his negativity onto brian, because what ray was thinking, brian would be positive without his mate

constantly around sprouting negativity in his head, and hopefully find out what brian really wants to do to keep positive, and one thing brian likes to do, is write out his hooligan

and cronus is a hooligan, because he is old, and brian needs to tell us all what is going on with cronus, to clear his mind, and one thing is, to never have brian and his mate dan

walk past and ray pocock is watching over his old family as well as watching over his new earth body sunday rose

Giants of StarTrack



Johnny'.  Hi dudes and welcome to StarTrack oval which is going to be a great match
Between the gws Giants and Geelong cats, the Giants are undefeated here with wins over
Gold Coast and Melbourne and this is promising to be a great encounter, and now here
Is Brendan with his little jingle

Go the Giants go the Giants we are the team that brings afl back to the nations capital
We will never never ever fail
You see we will make sure the Geelong cats score fewer like a little baby snail
Go the Giants of StarTrack yeah
Cool your hearts with a nice cold beer
And make sure the mighty Giants

Johnny'.  Yeah Brendan they was a great jingle and now here is Peter

Giants to win Giants to win, yeah they will win this game
Come on Giants you must play well
Yeah the Giants for victory
Giants to win here at star track yeah, go the mighty Giants

Johnny'.    Thanks Peter and here is another jingle from sue longways

Giants are better than any team, yeah we will have a nice cold beer
And maybe this could mean finals for us
But we must win today to find out where
I am sue longways here to cheer for the Giants
We will never ever get into anymore fights
We want a nice clean game
Yeah we will get the price of game
Me, sue longways supports the Giants baby
And we are in the jungle baby supporting the Giants to beat the cats
I am sue longways, I support the team right till the end
Go the gws Giants

Johnny'.  Ok that is enough for now i will be back at quarter time see ya


Quarter time

Johnny'.  Hi dudes welcome to quarter time fun and our Giants are 1-1-7 and the cats
Are 3-6-24 and what a match unfortunately not in our favour, here is tim with his jingle

We are Geelong the greatest team of all
Oh yeah Geelong we are certainly on the ball
We have got a hold on the Giants early
Yeah the mighty cats for victory oh yes e ree

Johnny'.   Now here is olly

Go the Giants go the Giants we must win this game
You see we must keep our performance up
Put the cats to sleep
Yeah go the Giants go the Giants
We are the team of 2015, well hopefully we will win today
And give our Canberra crowd members a win

Johnny'.  Ok I will be back at half time go the Giants


Johnny'.   Hi dudes and the cats has us on toast about 40  -  15, 25 points up
But I think the Giants have still hope, they should be further in front, well the Giants
Need to play well in the 2 nd half and now here is Robert

The cats are in front
At the half time break,
It's great to see them leading
And the cats are looking like winning
But the Giants could get closer
Go the mighty cats, I can't bare you to lose
johnny'.  Ok dudes and what a great match, as we draw the $1-000-000 prize now
So let's see what number it is, number 1235, and it is Harry burnseide and he has a winning
Jingle for us
Yeah I have won a million bucks oh yeah oh yeah
From this day I am a millionaire oh yeah oh yeah
You see today the cats are up against the Giants
And if you meet me at the bar I will shout you a beer
All the crowd yell out, saying give me a shout

Johnny'.  Ok congratulations to Harry and let's hope that gws can be undefeated on the Giants
Of StarTrack and yeah this is going to be radical and now here is a jingle from the Auskicker of the week

Go Giants go Giants we will win it we will win it
If we lose, please be up front so I can cheer you on cheer you on
The lights are on, the cats are in front
The drinks are on ice and so is God
Yeah come on the mighty Giants mate, kick some fucken ***

Johnny'.  Thanks to the Auskicker of the week and now here is John Barnes with his jingle

Go the Giants the mighty Giants
Will we win this game
We are down by 25, but there should still be hope
We must beat the cats
We are the greater Western Sydney Giants
The team who plays 3 in Canberra, go the mighty Giants

Johnny'.  We will be back at 3 quarter time, go Giants

Johnny'.    Welcome to 3 quarter time and the cats are still leading but the Giants are closing
IN on them and here is Harry with his jingle

go the Giants go the Giants
The might of the Giants are mightier
Come on the western Sydney Giants
Yeah we will rule the roost
We are the best at StarTrack yeah
Give us a nice cold beer for a nice cold day
Nothing hot about today, dude
johnny'.  Ok here is kenny with his jingle

We are the Giants the greatest team of all
Ready to put it to Geelong and force them to drop the ball
We will play this last quarter like it's our own
Like king Solomon on his thrown
The cats are going to get beaten because the Giants are looking pretty slick
The Giants for victory


Johnny thank you kenny and now back to the match
See you full time, go Giants

Johnny'.    Welcome back and the cats won 59-42 over the Giants and now we are on the ground for kick to kick and first we have a jingle by yetta

Go Geelong the greatest team of all
Go the cats we are always on the ball
We played the game so brilliantly yessiree
Today we played away
Go the mighty cats we are the prince of victory
Live from StarTrack oval

Johnny'. Ok here is deadly dean

The Giants should have won this game hoorah hoorah
We are the best in the league hoorah
My friend said what happened we lost this match
I say we would have won it if we got those goals
And deadly dean says he is the champion of the StarTrack oval crowd

Johnny'.  Thank you deadly dean and now Peter

The cats are the best by far
Hoorah hoorah
They are better than the Giants by far
Hoorah hoorah
The cats are the best by far
They were too good for the Giants oh yeah
Go the mighty cats, better by flaming far oh far
Coming in from the top

Johnny'.   Ok thanks Peter and now here is tommy Marcardle

Crack open the beer and cheer for the cats
And send those Giants to kingdom come
And if the Giants ask us for a bit of biff
We say we are too cool for fights
You see the cats were too strong today
And Giants sank into the ground
Yeah mate yeah, go the mighty cats, oh yeah
Send west Sydney to seventh heaven, dude

Johnny'.   Yeah, you sent those Giants to seventh heaven, real bad
Tommy'.   Yeah, top game and I will boost this ball right to the commentary box
Johnny'.   Ok, try it, but no you were no where near it and now here is Keith with his
Jingle


And now we draw the final curtain
Yeah the cats are the best by far
The Giants were never in it
Yeah the cats are fighting fit
We are oh we are oh we are fighting fit oh yessiree
You see the Giants were kicking horribly
I don't understand why they played well last week
But lost this week, then jimmy Bartel said,
That is because the cats were too good, oh yessiree

Johnny'.  Ok before we go, here is sue longways with her final jingle

And now we draw the final curtain
The Giants lost, oh yeah
I don't know what went wrong mate
But the cats were too good
You see, Giants fans will swing on the curtain
And drop to the bottom like they do
Go the mighty cats said our mate Keith
Hopefully the Giants will bounce back
And win the remaining matches ooh yeah

Johnny'.  Ok dudes, that is it for day, we will be back next year on the Giants of StarTrack
See you, dudes


Sent from my iPad

standing on the inside looking out, the psych ward story




standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter

i liked when patrick jumped in the pool by climbing on the stairs then falling

like a cool boy does, dad never liked that, dad isn’t a cool boy, he is a boring man

who wants to keep his sons in line, i liked teasing dad by drinking my beer

and by copying patrick in the pool, i never really liked my parents way

hated when dad looked at me to try and get patrick to stop cause he is wrecking the pool

i was thinking, neh, i ain’t an old fogie like my dad is

i told dad i was a hooligan because i was teasing his ****** discipline that he showed us

you see i hated when mum splashed me with the hose, just for copying patrick

i was missing patrick, and i wanted to jump in the pool, like a cool boy does

like i was teasing dad like a cool boy does to an old fogie like him

i can’t say i agreed with dad and mums discipline, cause i don’t

they were treating me like a hooligan, so i told dad, i was a hooligan

i don’t want to **** people off, but dad was a crazy old digger

you see all my life i wanted to be on dads side, i thought by fighting him

he would respect me even more, but i liked patrick better

like jumping in the pool about 12 times, making dad jitter, i liked that

i can’t say to you, i liked dads discipline, because that’ll be a lie

i just hope that through death, dad would be able to calm his spirit through betty campbell

no person wants to hear their dad saying, your like me and mummy mate

and that is why i really gave dad a mighty hard time

dad wanted to fight the young dudes with me, i never wanted to fight the young dudes

i liked the young dudes, you see dad told me to respect him, why can’t he fucken respect me

respect that i didn’t want him looking at me when young dudes played around

patrick was a good mate to me, better than lyle, and way better than dad

i am sorry i am harsh, but dad never really looked as if he cared

he just wanted to be this great big old fogie

you see i was never trying to be a old digger, i liked the idea of being a young dude

i liked teasing dad, i had fun teasing dad, and i hated how dad treated me like an adult, nobody wants to be

you see patrick was having fun jumping in and out of the pool

and brian nash doesn’t have a pool of his own, so i let him swim in mine, much to the dismay of dad, the great big old fogie

and i liked having that dude bring in the sound system to play his loud music in my lounge room

much to the dismay of dad and the crazy adults, thank christ they are all dead, i can do what i want

but i don’t believe in killing anyone though, it’s just that dad never understood i wanted to be a young dude, well it’s too late now

dad is now betty campbell, and i hope she suffers like i did under dad

i thought dad was seeing my way, when i invited him over, but dad was just being fatherly

which was alright, but i would’ve preferred if he was willing to change a little

because to me, he was an old stick in the mud

dad wasn’t a family person, but i was a family person, i don’t want to get fought

but dad really needed to understand his kids a lot more

i don’t want dads voice dead or alive in my head when i make a decision on how i live my life

saying, i will never make it big, i hated lyle doing it, and i hate dad doing it

my brother and patrick helped me get through my young days

dad tried, but dad kept living in the past of my outburst, he never learnt about the reason of the outbursts

because i liked the young dudes saying stay up all night

i was a nice kid, dad never understood that

am not a ****

i am a cool person

i helped **** fanning get out of danger from that shark attack

by using my powers of cronus

you see, i check the world when i sleep

to make sure people are safe

and of all the shark attacks which slip through the cracks

this one worked very well

i saved **** fanning from this shark, despite it being ****** hard

like i made sure this boy would be alrighj who was lost in the bush

you see i am cronus, and if cronus has a messed up head, it’s because

he hasn’t told of his ordeals

i saved **** fanning, i saved that little boy

i saved everyone, oh yeah

ya see i am not a ****, i am cronus, the one who saves you all

hi dudes


i wanted to be a hooligan, or was it a young dude who wants to party

you see i would go out at night, and be a real smart, you see my mates

would say, i was like their mob, but i hated my father saying, he hated to

be like my mob, so i called him a great big old fogie ,because that is what

he seemed to be, you see i don’t think dad can understand why his own flesh

and blood could tease him like this, i never really wanted to be an adult to him

no, please don’t make me, you see at present people are saying i am still a young dude

i am still an old fogie, because they wanna get me back, i hated being treated like

a yeah mate yeah kid, ya see, i would prefer to be treated right, you see i know my dad

is saying i am a fool, but my mates liked the way i used to tease my dad, so they joined right in

but i wanted to tell them that i wanted to tease dad all by myself, and when someone called dad

a great big old fogie in the club, i looked at him and said quietly to myself, way to go buddy

you see people are trying to get me to do what i used to do, like if i go into an expensive hotel

they will say, shut up, your still a young dude, buddy, and i said, yeah the young dude that enjoys

5 star hotels, yeah, and dad would try and get rid of my man and take him for a wander, and

some people are taking my cool kid for a bit of a wander, you see, i feel like i am being kidnapped

by the men saying as they tease someone, and then they say i might tease him in a minute

but he is still a hooligan or a friend to the poor, you see i also hear my friends try and be a street kid

so i can get teased by the families, and i don’t want to get teased by the families, and every time i be a

cool young dude, i see my old mates treating me like a shy person, as i am watching the very brave

**** fanning, about to do a press conference, **** he is brave, you see my mates are trying to reach in

to me and play with my itchy skin, you see maybe i was trying to be a street kid back then, so i don’t get teased

and maybe i was trying to be a poor person so i don’t get teased, but i don’t want to go back to the psych ward

you see i wanted to be a hooligan in 1989, and my mate called me dude, and i got voices in my head saying

hang on yeah little cool dude, and my mate said, yeah enjoy yourself man, and i tried to be like his brothers

he went yeah man enjoy yourself, and i ran off, you see i hear voices of people treating me like a little young dude

because when i was young i used to stay up till 11.30 pm on weekends and i used to watch the young ones and

the fast lane, and i watched neighbours and beavis and butted and e street and i remember my mates saying

i think brian doesn’t want to do this, but i want to be a cool kid to the TV, and i would say, you talk to me, i watch the TV

and my mates turning out to be the adults who want to go out and experience life, my version of loving life is watching TV

and teasing my dad, saying he is a great big old fogie and i feel like people are treating me like a roughneck young dude

trying to take my little cool kid to the family credits away, but i don’t want to be a little cool kid to the family, i prefer to be a big young

dude who enjoys calling dad a great big old fogie because dad always said, i don’t know who he is, i said **** malone is going well

dad said, who is **** malone, i said i watched good times last night, and i saw jj and dad said, who is jj, what a ****, i thought

everyone knows about jj, he said, oh dyna—— mite, maybe i was treating dad like me, ya know treating him like a **** of a man

but that was because i thought jj was popular and so was **** malone, i got in a lot of arguments with dad about his ******* comments

ya see now i fall asleep on the couch as i go up to space to try and reform my young dude, because i still want to stay up, i hate going

to bed early, i am not doing what i did in wood berry for anyone, you see i will drink my soft drink and say a bottle of soft drink knocks you out

and i wasn’t a woosey, i was a basketball star, i was a cool kid to the basketball people, yeah i made mistakes i grabbed kids on the mouths

as occasionally i was trying to trap myself, but i was a sports kid, ya know very good at sports, and i want dad to treat me like a man, because

dad can’t protect me from up there, so i want to be treated like a man who enjoys the finer things in life, like eating pizza and drinking coke

and anything that makes me into a real party dude, i don’t want to be a shy person, mind you, i like the idea, of teasing dad from down here

looking at dads next life’s latest pictures on the computer and dad is now in jimmy barnes’s family as betty campbell, but dad is at peace in that family

but he died with everyone thinking he doesn’t want to be cool, and betty campbell is going to be cooler than her last life, baz boy allan

you see i remember when my brother treated me like a little spaz boy, like saying my brain was chopped off and i am totally spastic, yeah like a

little spaz boy, like mum called dad baz boy, my brother called me little spaz boy and i felt very weird because i wanted to be like the TV people

like ***** hogan and ricky stratton or even bart simpson, forcing my brother to be lisa simpson, you see i take my medication to make me feel

better because back then i felt like a koomarri man, and i heard voices of people saying, your still a young dude brian, and i said i am a young dude

ya know, i stay up till late listening to music talking to my brother about his favourite music and favourite TV shows, it was really cool

and when i was young i said i wasn’t a cool kid, i am a big man’s kid or a big young dude who listens to cool poison and twisted sister, **** i love that video

and i got on very well with my family, including the great big old fogie in dad

hey donald trump, why are you thinking people w2ho get wounded in battle aren’t heroes

cause if you think your a hero, your a hero of nothing

because **** fanning battled a shark, mate, and he deserves a reward  

but you donald trump deserve nothing, nothing nothing

i have fought tooth and nail to prove that poor people have rights

and i ain’t into the army, but i know they are brave now here is we’re not going to take crap from trump anymore

ya know, when i first heard of him, i8 thought of professor plum or professor plunket

and you will never win my vote, if i was an American, no way hoi zei

i think i might spew, i think i might spew, i think i might spew on you trump, yeah

i disagree with your comment trump, nothing against you, just your comment

you sound so right wing, only allowing rich people honours

i ain’t into john mcCain either, but that is his views, and i hate your views even more

it makes people think you are crazy, a real crazy *******

people fight for the good of the nation , what do you do

i am designing homeless shelters, would you do that trumpet

i will party with all the poor people while rich snobs like trump wrecks the world with his selfish opinions

hi dudes


there is a big snowstorm in australia, and even if queensland, and kids

missed school to play in the snow, i even saw a man chuck a big snowball

at his son, i am going to throw a snowball at you, and i am mucking with the

australians, because everyone is playing in the snow together, a snowstorm

created by my dad, who is now betty campbell, so robin williams next life

can be in a country with plenty of snow, you see snow is awesome, dude

more awesome than just ya know rain, because, just think about it, the snow

is making waves in queensland, and **** fanning, the surfer got attacked by a shark,

and he won and i am mucking with all the cool young dudes, who are playing in the snow

the snow is a falling, a falling a falling the snow is a falling in queensland oh yeah

come on happy dudes, show these real angry dudes, the right way to party, oh yeseree

the snow is icy cold icy cold icy cold

i am not a negative ****, i am positive today

i feel i am getting my way, into becoming cool don’t ya say

the past is trying to catch up with me, like a crazy person does

greame thorne is my last life and is keeping the guy who nicked my lunch in my head, in a negative way

so i can understand that kidnapping is wrong, i say i am greame thorne, the coolest kid in the 50s yeah

dad is trying to be nice to me, saying your like him and mummy, because he is saying your still a family person brian

and everyone says i am not a cool kid, i know, i am a nice adult who does my art in a positive way

you see patrick dunbar who is my previous life before greame thorne is trying to get me to do what i used to do

because to the world i look like a negative ****, but i fooled them, i am positive

when someone yells at me, i go, i am a happy dude, you are an angry dude

you see my dad is screaming from the afterlife saying, be like me and patrick brian

but that is because he is in a family of cool now, and he doesn’t wanna be cool, i do

but i am cool anyway, you see they are cooking organic food in terragon

cause jimmy barnes picked up my father’s next life and said, i love you, my dear little granddaughter

you see you are no longer apart of the allan clan, we will protect you from your teasing

so betty campbell, that is your name now, dad, barry allan is now dead

sing a song of sixpence sing a song of being positive, like your old son brian is trying to be

i know he sounds so negative, but brian allan is positive, as he lifts his fist up

Briano Alliano performing at Saturn cub rings


Hi dudes and welcome to Saturn club rings and this is where
You go and really party, my first song is, from the poor man to the ****

Gabba Gabba Gabba gab from the poor man to the ****
You see I want your money, baby from the poor man to the ****
Gabba Gabba Gabba gab I want to rob you dry
Cause your got money and opportunities and I have got nothing oh no
I wish I wish I wish wish I had money from a well-paid job
Because I am poor I am stuck trying to struggle to find my path in life
I don't really like  disability work they treat you like such ****
Sitting in their big jobs not giving a **** of what I need to say
Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba gab says the poor man to the ****
I want Heaps of your money says the poor man to the ****
Please gimme all of your cash, said the poor man to the ****
And if you try and be a young dude, the other young dudes call you a Woosey or a ****
I want the ****** rich ***** to fucken gimme a go
Instead of just using me as a target to a tease
I don't want to be yelled at just because I am from a rich family
I prefer to be left alone to do my art in peace
Gabba Gabba Gabba Gabba says the poor man to the ****
I wish you would give your loot, says the poor man to the ****
You see as I watched the footy last night, they told me Sydney were the worst
But at least they won in 2005 and 2012, they are best team in the land
Go the mighty Sydney swans said the poor man to the ****
So, the mighty team, they lost last night, fro, the poor man to the ****

Ok dudes I have told you, how much I want to help the poor, I am a cool dude
Who wants to party, here is a song called, hey mr cocky man

Hey mr cocky man what are you going to give me today
I can tell you I would like $1-000-000, yeah that will make me glad
I have more good ideas of helping the poor than you will ever had
Because I know what they want, because I look past the Yelling
Thinking there must be a reason why they are getting cranky, dude
Because I want to help them, and not get fought by them
So I will offer them a little bit of my cash, and then
Say, I will give them a homeless man's hotel
Where they can round the clock care and room service, mate
And a bar to get ****** in,and before you ask me,do they deserve it
I will say,yeah they do, they deserve it more than the rich
Because the rich go to the hotels every weekend
And poor young dudes like me have only got to do that once or twice
You see, I don't wanna be Called a ****, I am not a kid
I am a man who has reasons to help the poor, because they are really suffering, man
They feel need to yell at people who Are here to help them oh yeah
Because the big fat rich ***** doesn't fucken well give a toss
So, hey mr cocky,man, when are you going to give us money
You see if I was in that same situation I would give it to them
I would give them a million, if I had a million to spare that is
That Tony Abbott doesn't care no way
You see, I am an adult who loves to give the poor people a go
Better than those rich conservative stock market junkies
I know, it's good to invest in money, but there are too many poor people around
Suffering like they shall, nobody understands how
Except for me the Poor people are under a spell to the rich

Hi and now we have a song called I would love to give money to Duncan

I would love to give money to Duncan
I would love to give money to Dunc
I would make sure he has what he wants
Like clothes and food, yeah maybe a beer to get drunk
You see poor people really suffer
So what we need to do is this
Is giving money to to Duncan
Cause he is our friend
I would love to give money to Patrick
I would love to give money to him
If I had a million to spare, but if he was suffering
I would drop a $2 coin in the tin
Yeah that'll make him happy
And everyone will be happy yeah
I would love to give money to Patrick cause he wants a beer
I would love to give money to Harry
Yeah he needs it yessiree
You see I feel very sorry for him
Because day in and day out, he is suffering
We really need to help Harry
To make the atmosphere so great
We need to give money to Harry
Cause he is a good mate

Ok dudes, now we will tip methane on everyone who doesn't give a rats ***


Sent from my iPad

BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMS AT JUPITER MOON


hi dudes and welcome to jupiter moon where i will chuck a methane smoothie all over dad

so he can stop treating me like him at home, you see last night dad used the old young dudes

tp say i am not like my mate pat anymore, no, don’t want to be a cool kid to my dad, but i can

clean my house to what i like, and nothing more, buddy, so if you treat me like dad, you must

except i want to be a poor man, because dads way will never work, he should work on betty campbell

here is cruising round with red bull


I see some sorry old soul walking around the town, with a leather jacket on and a red bull in his hand, you see he looks kind if ***** and ****** up in the head he also looks so droopy, too, he should be home in bed, he'll go into JB hifi, if they'll let him in, that is and then he'll notice his red bull can is empty, he didn't know what to do, and everyone is staring at him, he yells out really loud WHAT ARE YA LOOKIN' AT YA ******, and nearly gets into a fight, and he was going completely crazy, yes he was weird, so ran through the mall, saying, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, it's a f..n matter of life and death, if I don't get a red bull now, I swear I'll **** someone, waddaya think of that, everyone was saying as he passed thinking this man is cool, I think he's a loser cruising around with his red bull
When he got his second can open it up and it squirted everywhere, and unknown to him that half the can was lost in that squirt, so he cruised around with his can saying howdy to the chicks and saying hi dudes to the chaps, and, man he felt so cool, as he went over to JB hifi, yes his red bull can was empty again, and he yelled out ****, this time he was really ****** violent, he knocked over an old lady going to the bank and punched a yeah mate yeah kid,  (nerd) in the gut, and he was like that all the way to the red bull shop, when he got their the red bull was sold out and the store clerk said we have red eye, mother or V, and he said I don't want those, they are woosey drinks, I only drink red bull, because about 1 hour the man was taken by the police, as he was cruising it gives me wings, as I left he saw a kid who bought the last red bull, and he offered him $50 for it, and the kid said, money comes and money goes, but this red bull stays with me forever, and he got violent threatening to **** him as such and the kid said, ok dude, keep ya shirt on, give me $50 for this can and I will give it to you, they exchanged what they had and the kid went to the police station to fill in a statement saying he was threatened by a crazy red bull ******, and in around with the kids red bull, the police took him away the kid identified him as the guy, whi would convert to violence, to be cruising around, oh yeah, yes, man cruising around with his red bull, what a loser

and now here is my next song, called go to bed little shy boy, because i feel like a hooligan with my itchy feet, and i feel like i am getting kidnapped on earth because i am a tad messy, cause dad will never help me, when i do work, i feel like a lady, well, ****** oath i am a
lady to a tease, but i don’t want to get teased though, so i am a man
You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes
yeah, i don’t wanna be a cool kid to tease so i say to you, shut up cockbreath, here is my next song


I am a man and other men are teasing me with the kids
This is driving me crazy, I told them that I am a man
And I don't stand for this kind of juvenile behaviour
You see the kids didn't listen to that, they just laughed
And for a while each man kept on trying to be mature adults
Which we all know they're not, said for the kids to leave me alone
And then said, he isn't a target for teasing
But then after 3 days, the men said, what the flaming ****
We are going to tease this ****** yuppie
Yes, we'll tease them with the kids
The kids would teaee and when you go to the men
The men will teaee them too. They will act like all other Australians
And tease you as well, yes and they will ****** find it ****** fun
You are suffering cause you haven't got many friends

And the kids are laughing, while the ******* men say
You are a fucken big old softie,and you are now with no friends
Then you get a knife and try to stab him
And after that you punch him in the back
And then you draw out your knife and threaten to slit his throat
If he doesn't stop fucken teasing him
But they go, I am teasing you, and that's the only way I am being



You see when I go out of my bedroom after having a night of ***
The kids ate teasing me, left right and centre
And I try to handle it, but it's so ****** hard for me to do
Because they are saying things like, I am going to bash you up
And giving me a pineapple drink which was ****** wee
close to you
So if the kiddies are teasing you, and you turn to me, to get me to muck with you
I will say, I ain't mucking with you, mate, neh
I am just teas---ase---ing you with the kiddies, you aren't like us, cause when we tease you
Mate, you can't handle it, and then you say, you are spastic, and dumb as well. And I will punch you with this metal part of my leather glove, to show you who can't fucken handle teasing, you **** of the earth, fucken man
Then you go to your room, and they don't talk to you anymore
Because they are treating you like a target to tease
And that drives me crazy. And i yelled out
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE MAN WHO IS GETTI NG TEASED BY MEN AND THE KIDS,  LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE
And they did, I am now a free spirit, no one can successfully taste me, never


yeah, i don’t wanna get teased by the men and kids, so i will be a hooligan oops, i am a cool person

you see, i am a polite man, hey, what did you say, you are protecting me with your hey, so i want dad to fly off, ok

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

ya see i hear voices of people saying i have no real problems, but i wanna be famous, and i want to move to adelaide, but i don’t get positive feedback

so i feel like getting drunk and vomiting like this song

You see I love to have a few beers, or chocolate, and chips, oh yeah
This was what I really enjoy when I go to a pub at night
You see I live next door to this nightclub, called the hungry ****** horse
And I ain't cursing because I want to, man, that s what it's called
I met a man named Roger Killbert, who I had *** with and having a few
But the beers weren't doing good for Roger, they made him really sick
You see he was getting drunk and vomiting, yes, he was really sick
I don't share children with him, so why did I stay with him
You see he lost his family in the recent fires, and this is the first time he went out
And Roger was getting a sickly taste in his mouth, oh yeah
And it made him *****, he was sick,
You see it was just vomiting, so I didn't bother to take him to hospital
But I changed my mind, when te blood came out, it was really bad
So I took him to the hospital, and the hospital said he fine
But I know in my fucken ****** heart, that he was sick
Then he vomited blood, and the nurse said
To Roger to go to the waiting room
Because this isn't too important, but we do know that it was
And I said, why don't you get your *** in gear
And help my fucken friend, and from that moment
They labelled me a stubborn girl, yes I hated that a lot
And I said, yes, I'm stubborn, but I care for him, and have you got
Someone you care about, you hear about doctors like you
And I am more than just a stubborn woman
If you don't look after my friend, or at least try
I will soo your pants right off
He fucken had the nerve to say on what grounds
I am trying, to be my job, follow work protocol
Yes, I am doing fine, I earn a lot of money
And I deserve every cent, then I said you deserve squat
But I don't really care, when we left, yes I sooed his pants off
And since that ****** day, this doctor never learnt his lesson
We were moved to another hospital
You see he is getting drunk and vomiting, and he was very sick
And we are enjoying spending his money we got out of the doctor
Yes I feel ****** good

you can get your earth bodies to look at aaron clayton or aaa youtube TV, to hear everything performed by me

here is my next song


now, i will tell you where my cool kid is, at the mall mucking around
you see I go to the mall, being with young people
And I have so much fun, making young people mistakes
Like drinking all night and passing by McDonald's
For a McFeast and fries and coke
I will look like a junk food hooligan
And yes I will look so cool to the young
But I wish it was as simple as that
I want to have some fun
So I saw my two friends Eddie and Daniel
And we mucked around having fun
But it wasn't really what I wanted, man
So I told them both to *******
For 3 years after they purposely ran into me
And call me Woosey, and um, they will put the smoke in their ear
And eat McDonalds while I will try to be an adult
And every adult decision I make, they said Woosey, Woosey, Woosey
And then I got up and said you kids make me sick
But I couldn't say that, and they called me Woosey, because I was
Too Woosey to be a man, that opens up to his problems
But I felt like trying my hand trying to intimidate them
And make them leave me alone, it drives me crazy
All I want to be is a normal young dude, you know
Playing around making mistakes as well as being cool
But I have **** like you two teasing me as if your friendship is a fucken lie
You look like greedy pigs when you eat your McDonald's
And you are a ******* when you bang your head against the tapes
Yeah, dude, you look like a Woosey to me, mate
I am just doing the kind of things that Patrick did
Because what he likes to do, is similar to what I like to do
I like hard rock music, but I ain't a little young dude
Who is to scared to escape the tease
You guys are two little Wooseys, and I will say you are Wooseys
Mainly because you eat little young food like maccas
And you stick the cigarette in your hair, like a ******
I am a cool young dude, cool young dudes do art, and don't look lost
I'm not lost, I am so radical dudes, let's party
I am now on the healing process, because Daniel is the only Woosey
And that's the truth, you see


you see, how many of you guys have been called a woosey, you see i believe in loving life and here is my next song

i still wanna be young, what is wrong with that
Yes, mate, I am happy and I feel cool
I feel my body is getting younger and I want to break the adult rule
Mind you, there is nothing wrong with growing up, and being wise, so to speak
But really that's too formal, man, doing that will just send you weak
You need to do things that are exciting
Like go on an aero plane, like to Thailand or Vietnam, or even the mighty USA
You should go on long rail journeys too, yes that's a bit of a buzz
You can either choose having a sleeper, living the lap of luxury
Or roughing it up on the single ride seat
You can also grab a hot meal on the train
And you can eat it in the dining car
And you can eat it up, real fast, so you aren't away from the seat too long
I also like a bus trip, like to Batemans bay or beyond
And a trip to Sydney. Melbourne, Brisbane, Hervey bay, gold coast, and fantastic Adelaide
I go into a club and if I hear music I will either tap my foot or dance to it
Depending on the mood of the place
I also like to stay in a Hotel, and watch a bit of ****** Rupertvision
Some shows are good, and thouroughly entertained me so much
But not enough to make me give to that rich *****
I sometimes like a good trip in the country, where I climb mountains
Or just look at the views from lookouts and even the wild life
And mind you, you can have a ball in the country, cause you have no main worries
No worries at all, sonny Jim
Then you can spend the weekend in Sydney for the Carols in the domain
Where you get in early, pick a great spot, and take in the Christmas spirit
Mind you, you have to wait in line at the toilets, but it's all in good fun
And mate, if you happen to lose, dad, or even your mum
Just go to the stage, and tell them that you are a lost boy
With no directional skills, and how do I find mummy again
Of course they will help find them, but you really just wanted to get on the idiot box
And mate, just wait for the hiding you get off mum or dad
For wasting important television viewing time
There are so many things you can do, but, mate
You need to get a job, oh yeah, don't make your mum and dad pay
That can make you uncool
You see, I am a 43 year old young dude, yeah
And I will be there, till the day I join the afterlife, oh yeah
i hear voices of people saying, i ain’t going to help you little cool ki, ****** oath i am cool kid



Hi little kid, you can't find your mummy, you are a baby
Cause this is a family event, and it's quite ****** safe
Just ask a fellow kid, sure you are safe little kid
But then another kid will come, and trick me into
Looking like a phedaphile, and I won't be able to get out of it
So little kid, keep looking around for your mummy
And, yes you will see her, and I ain't helping you
Cause I am not the kids teasing Buddy
You see I want kids to let me be a true grown up
Who wants to be cool, and have a lot of fun
With other grown ups, and if kids can think of Judy being with each other
The city will look after their needs a lot better
You see, I dressed up as Santa, but I ain't helping you kid
So *******, or I will put you in the toilet
Do you want that, I don't fucken think so
I can tell you, I ain't no kid, I am an adult
Who wants to have fun and enjoy life
I don't want you kids to come up to me
And ask me to do something inappripiate
Even if it looks innocent, it ain't, I aren't that type of guy
You kids are a pack of fucken losers
And just keep yourselfs in your family groups
Cause that will suit me just fine, because
I ain't gonna he

briano alliano performs on venus party trap




you see welcome to the trap and i had a great night at the poetry slam

where i met this man who said m6y poem was great, well, he liked it

in fact when i didn’t win it, he wanted to heckle the organisers, well, it was

fun, but i like the organisers too, but this man realiy believed in me, ya know

especially when i told him i am putting art in an exhibition

here is my first song, the poem i read at the poetry slam ,here goes

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

and presents to make us happy

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

party on till next week, man

yeah, celebrate christmas in july

dashing thru the cold canberra winters day

you see i think my reindeers are in hibernation today

because the air is very cold, and it’s a great day to say

merry christmas my good friends in the month of july

jingle bells oh buddy it’s jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

bring out the warm eggnog

and put up the christmas tree, and have santa on a stick

then you get those lollypops, and give ‘em an almighty lick

and give ‘em an almighty lick, my mate

ya see last night at the poetry slam, this bloke said i really sang the last bit with a lot of guts

and determination, and now as i left last night i saw a fight taking place, and i knew if i don’t stare

everything will be alright, and now here is my next song

i am tired, but i can’t sleep, i need to have a siesta, yeah mate yeah

i need to relax and enjoy my life, and have a soft drink yeah mate yeah

carn the swans carn the raiders carn the packers, like that man last night spoke to me for

yeah mate yeah, and now time for, here is my next song, loving friends and loving family


You see when I was young and I always was trying to be cool
I had a family who tried to stop myself from being cool, and I was
So fristrated with that, I said, no I am cool, but I wssn't cool, I wanted
To laugh at everybody and I laughed so loud that my psrents were telling me
To quiten down and this made me angry, you see I got violent and I started to rant
And rave and it took me over a long time to understand that they were treating me
Like a cool kid, but I was young and stupid and it seems like they were teasing me
And giving me a hard time, and i also said that I wanted to be cool and always go out having a good time and getting ****** as a parrot, you see, my voices were putting those thoughts
Right in my head, giving me a lot of problems, making me very very sick of being in this crazy situation, and I am glad I have this amazing loving family and good friends, to help me through any kind of situation.
You see when I try and muck with my father like a mans kid, my brother would say, don't muck with him, he's not like us, don't much with him, no he is not a young dude. Be like us, and be a young dude and be a little shy boy, you try and be oool every day, and you try and give stay up all night while everybody else is going to bed, so you can go, hey to him, but the thing about it is, that it is the fact that he is living in the past.
So then my loving family and loving friends made me feel better about how much I wanted to
Move on and live life to the fullest, you see he will laugh like a man should and then say, heh heh heh heh , i am a cool boy, I am not a little shy boy, I sit up all night, I don't go to bed, you see I am superior, but my mates call me a complete loser.
Because this man is a total and absolute ******, and it makes me absolutely crazy, and this drives me crazy, you know very crazy, but I always call it a loving family and loving friends, I don't need these friends who only like me because I sit underneath them.



here is my next song, titled mashed potato finger nail at the skate park, here goes

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
here is my next song, titled as much fun as it sounds, here at the trap

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
as much fun as it sounds to heckle, i still remember the american dude, but this man last night was a cool dude, buddy, cool man sam


and have you ever been a cool kid to your dad, and had people laugh at you, i felt that last night when i didn’t join in the heckle, but that man

was nice to me, saying he admires me, but i am not gay, i am bradley simmons

Bradley lived in Cowra with his mum and dad and brother Kenneth, and Kenneth was a real mans kid who plays with his friends in the street and then he goes home to watch Disneyland with his dad, and he mainly liked to watch westerns, while Bradley was certain that there is something going on in the air, and went to church with his mum.
You see this wasn't really tbe best family unit, especially when families go out to fun family events, but Bradley and Kenneth's dad was a director at kids town, which is a Buddhist drop in centre, who looke after the daily needs of under fortunate kids, and Bradley and Kenneth were told to come into these centers, when their dad organised some games to brighten their spirits, one game was spin the Buddha, where you get a spinning buddha statue and the kids get a lolly pop if the Buddha spun towards them, and even though they thought it was lame, well you can see it in their faces, Bradley thought it was cool and then said to his dad how about I plan games for them to play, like soccer out in the paddock, or even cricket, or tennis, and one of the homeless Boyd sadism I am too poor to get into Auskick, so can we play Aussie rules, and if I whip your ***, I know I can play for Richmond, and Kenneth who tried to be the cool kid there said, well if you make Richmond, it won't mean you are good, it means you play for Richmond, and Bradley told Kenneth to be nice to him, he obviously likes Richmond, and Kenneth said to Brad, why don't you shut up you stupid old ******* ****, and Bradley said, I am cool, I can turn these kids away from you.
Then Bradley said ok it's time to play a board game and little Ryan said, well what does board games have to do with helping us get houses, and Bradley said, oh no I ain't that powerful, I am just a kid, I can't give you a home, no,,I am here to make you feel that people actually care for you, because I think it would be tough for you having no home to go to and the kids listened to Bradley like he was one of the adults and being a typical jealous little brother started to get very jealous especially when e tried to make a joke, and they told him to get lost, because your brother is boosting our self esteem.
At the end of the day, Kenneth said to Bradley, you are a stupid ******* old *******, playing board games doesn't make them really feel better, what makes them feel better is taking them for walks around, but you are too stupid for that aren't you Bradley, you are too fucken shy to be like those kids friends, you see they all like me better, they just tolerate you, so go back to your bedroom and go and do some underage *******, no you aren't one of us boys, *******.
Bradley was upset with what Kenneth said and went to his bedroom and cried for hours and since then he didn't have inspiration to go back to his dads work to help the kids there, but his dad said, your brother is just jealous, and you should do this if it makes you feel happy, and his dad said, and if you find that Kenneth is proved right, just ignore them, and you can start off by ignoring Kenneth, because really, I wish every kid could have the inspiration that you bring to kids town, don't let teasing stop you for reaching your full potential, Bradley, Bradley decided his dad was right, and he kept on going to kid's town to make a difference in these children's lives, playing games and talking to one another, this was so cool the kids thought, Bradley thought he was growing up, and Kenneth who decided to come in, because he thought kids need to be kids, yes, his dad was doing a good job, but really Kenneth had what the kids really wanted, like he bought his computer and showed him the virtual world, and Bradley said no kids playing board games are fun, and computer games can wreck your eyesight, but the kids decided that Kenneth needed to be heard too, after all he is the other son of the kid's town leader, so they listened to him for a while and instead of trying to play along, Bradley felt hurt and said, ******* all, and went to his room to cry, and all the tough boys said, 'what a cry baby' and then he said his brother isn't an monster, we still like him, but Kenneth wanted to make Bradley jitter, so he now decided to play around laughing very loudly, like he was like us, man or something and Brad was in his room, crying and their dad decided that Brad needed to share his friends and said that he prefers the way Kenneth did things, Brad got really angry and started to be totally mental, by punching Kenneth like a ******, as well as threatening to **** the father that gave him a perfect life as a kid, of course he didn't **** him, but he was an angry *******, you see he was the board games king, while his brother was a computer **** kid, and Kenneth tried to not hurt Brad's feelings, even though, being a kid, he found it hard to not teaee the ****** and Bradley was put in a special school where he made a few new friends, but they weren't into playing board games or anything else with him, they wanted to teaee him, with teachers joining in, because Bradley needed to learn about how to control is temper, and someone tried to bully him, and Bradley stood up to him, and another guy was determined to tease Bradley also, but as he tried to punch Bradley put his hands on his **** and squeezed his ***** real tight, and since then everyone liked Bradley, but not to his dads liking the little cool kid to his dad was suddenly Kenneth,,and Bradley felt he was trying to tease Kenneth the same way, and see how he likes it, but all his friends like Kenneth better, and Bradley punched Kenneth in the gut and his friends thought Bradley was a **** and left the house and another girl at school was making fun of Brads parents and Brad tried to stand up to her,but she said, they never helped me,**** kids town and ******* early to bed and early to rise baby, and Bradley got really upset and from that moment the only young ones who like him were the rougher ones, who hassled Bradley for money,and Bradey became to shy to say no. Which made him a little young dude with no friends, he had family trying to contact him, but he was determined to make their lives a misery.
Bradley was an idiot, with his drinking and teasing and punching people, yes dude, he needs anger management, and he needs it now, but you must want to go, but Bradley made a pact, that he won't get help till Kenneth found a girl and got married and has kids,,so his thought of being teased all through his adult years, wasn't going to happen, and Kenneth married Bridgett Kingsley and they had Toni and Ros, yes, Bradley's little nieces, and he loved them dearly, and the bonding of Bradley and Kenneth grew fondly, while their parents had the old Brad back, he ain't married but he's happy, and that's what Counts in life.


******* that look a lot of wind singing this to you at the venus party trap and when i got home i was told to sit there little shy boy and let your school mates play air guitar, i was happy too, because of sam

at the poetry slam, thinking i had guts tom read a poem and not win, who cares, it’s a fun night out dudes

You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes

see you soon, venus party trap, and t

i am a partying in the street ya know

i have got my chips and coca cola that is radical

i want to be happy don’t you ******* know

steve and bill and doff and jill went up the hill

to try to catch a party spirit and really party on

i liked thew mates i had when i was young

they are pretty cool, but i am moving on

and so should they

yeah that is the way of the world

i hate tony abbott that is my opinion, please don’t lock me away

he is just a loser can’t ya see

everyone is partying in the clubs ya see

so mr conservo, get out iof this place

for i am the man to boot you out on your *** mr abbott

everyone says party party party and forget about the little smarty

who come in your life, ***** with your wife

yeah partying is more fun than that yeah,

i wanna rock and roll all night, and drink every day, a bottle of coke

and don’t you doff it down for you to choke

party party party get down and ****** party dudes

let’s get on with the show, even if it shows

partying is fun for people of all ages, yeah mate yeah

christmas power



i am talking about greame thorne’s only TV performance, you see it was show

called christmas power at elizabeth bay and it was hosted by john bradley, you see john brought

10 young performers in to sing christmas carols to celebrate the reason for this day

and it was set out to be an annual TV event every christmas event, but it never made

it to the 2nd year, so here we go

john’  welcome to christmas power, a show to celebrate the magic of christmas and

i will bring in 10 performers to each sing their favourite christmas carols

first up here is kenny butler aged 11 singing silver bells

he sang it well and said at the end, how about that

john’  thanks kenny and let’s see how mrs santa claus is going, here is therse berlin with mrs santa claus

and therese sang that song with absolute grace and beauty and then john introduced, greame thorne (me)

and tim mcgrath, and they will sing silent night, and they blew away the crowd so beautifully and then

after that, the next singer was bert somers with i am sending a letter to santa claus, and every note was

played so great, and then john bradley sang jingle bells and rudolph the red nosed reindeer as santa came

out to say hello to everyone on tv australia’s first christmas show, and as santa left the stage, john brought

greg harrison out to sing hi ** silver lining and he sang that so great, he was asked by church groups to

do future shows and then john bradley brought daryl simmons comes on stage to sing away in a manger

and drove the crowd completely wild and got a standing ovation and then john bradley brought out harry stone

aged 12 and he sang we wish you a merry christmas and greame thorne(me) came out to sing good tidings we

bring to you and your king, and harry got audience participation as well as a standing ovation

john brought out the 8 th singer madelline rupert, aged 5, with white christmas, and yeah mate yeah

this was the greatest version ever, and maddeline was amazed with all the crowd really cheering her performance

and now john bradley brought out the 9th singer 10 year old jacob stone, brother of harry, and he sang

jolly old st nicholas, and everyone joined in singing and gave him a standing ovation, and then john

introduced molly ringwould to sing the christmas list, and this was a very moving performance and blew the

crowd away and at the end she got a standing ovation, and now, it was time to announce the christmas power award winner

and they rolled the drums, and therese berlin won the award, and they gave her a plaque and $500, and

this was the end of the first and last version of christmas power and there is no real proof of this show as the

tape was stolen and thrown out to sea, pretty much what happened to greame thorne (me), so there isn’t proof

but i remember this was an excellent previous life memory i have, and

john porker was a friendly man who was being tortured by voices of his youth

like his mates would say, trying to be a young dude, when he was trying to live his life

and his father was a very strict person who wanted him to be an adult at the age of 8

john hated it, but the young dudes also wanted john to be an adult as well, and if he doesn’t

they will come and bash him up, john said, you just try and bash me up, if you do, you’ll be fucken toast

tomorrow morning, the young dudes said ok, but be careful or we’ll bash you.

this made the porters very angry, which made them want to wrap john up in cotton wool, which john hated

john went through his life going through stage after stage, which forced him to break the cotton wool and

attempt to argue with or bash his parents, saying he can look after himself and his father said, we are doing

this cause we love you, john, john threw his fist at his parents saying i can look after myself, really i can

and then told his dad we better stay away from you, for you are an aids carrier and this made mrs parker

very very concerned for her family’s well being, saying oh no, our special little guy is having a few problems

we must help him, and his father said, let him help himself, he thinks we hate him, and john said leave me alone

i really do hate you protecting me because i can look after myself, mr parker said, you are a fool john, you really are such a fool

and john told mr parker to *******, mr parker slapped john across his face saying, john, you are a flaming fool

and then john got up and brought his father to the garage and banged the door on his fathers head, and his father said

be careful, you realty hurt your daddy, john ran up to his room and slammed the door very hard and his father followed

him and when he got to the door, he knocked on the door very hard, but john said, go away you great big old fogie

and mr parker went for a walk to escape this whole mess john is putting on him, and all the outside hooligans said to john

your father is like us, now man, you’re not, so stay in your room, you see mr parker got home in 1 hour and john started

up again, and was sent to his room, what are the parkers going to do with john, dunno mate!, these fights happened every

time mr parker tried to discipline him, it’s hard to medicate him, because john is very violent, he said to his dad, i want to

stab you in the back, but the big question is, where’s the knife.

don’t be shy, mate, just party and be cool and don’t forget break no golden rule

don’t be shy to explain to your parents you like to party, despite them worrying

don’t be ashamed of the past mate, just party on till the day is long

don’t be shy if you ain’t strong, just enjoy life anyway,

don’t be shy if you ain’t mucking with your school friends no more, you should still be cool

look at me mate, i go to the poetry slam, i am having fun there, i am not shy

don’t be shy mate, if your mates taught you something that is daddyish take the i am not ya daddy like a man

don’t be shy mate, if people call you a woosey if you don’t like fighting, just ignore them

don’t be shy mate, if you have voices from your parents saying your still like us, remember

if you are doing what you like within reason, just have fun

don’t be shy mate, if you lost a relative and you hear them speaking from nirvana

don’t be shy, in everything you do

don’t be shy, mate, if you have problems talking you see, and people call you a woosey

just relax and take up writing for expression

don’t be shy mate, if people want to fight you, don’t be shy to back away, if you find that hard, just be cool

don’t be shy, to just relax, because remember you ain’t immortal and you ain’t perfect

so you give lousy advice and you give good advice, like in this little poem, i am not shy how it sounds

don’t be shy if you are battling voices, just use the negative voices to make a positive outlook

don’t be shy mate, if you felt like an animal, because you displayed no hunan qualities, you can still be human, ok don’t be shy

as long as you say, violence doesn’t solve anything don’t be shy to believe in that, ok

just be yourself like me, now, i ain’t living in the past, either should you, don’t be shy

if you want to be just like your daddy, NO, just be yourself because daddy’s give advice, they shouldn’t push you to be like them, ok

don’t be shy, be yourself

briano alliano performs at neptune pub


hi dudes

welcome to my show and the first song is patrick the brave man

you see as i do my youtube show, and, man i enjoy it a lot

an old mate patrick will sit up being a man saying your cool

like he was protecting me or something

and he can be brave, he can be bold, even if he is growing old

you see as he sits up on his chair, in my head protecting me

from doing harm to other you see, because do i need it, well, i don’t care

as i look at him, saying, please stop please stop, my lordy lord

he said, there is no such thing as jesus and kept in my head being a big man

and then he wanted to be there forever and ever

like the bird and his feather, come on patrick, come on get out of my head

you need to understand, i ain’t ashamed as i used to be

i perform at badslamnobiscuit poetry slam, every third wednesday of each month

and tomorrow i will play a christmas in july carol, which is cool which is cool

you see, he is saying, brian, you are cool, don’t be ashamed to perform, you are cool

i said, tip methane all over patrick the big protector and sing this

take me out to the ball game

take me home to the crowd

buy me some peanuts and ******* jack

they don’t know if we ever get back

so it’s root root root for the home team

if they don’t win it’s a shame

it’s 1 2 3 strikes your out

at the old ball game

patrick jumps up and says, i still want to show you my man in your head, because you need to understand

i liked you back then, and that’s the truth

our next song is methane over duncan

i would love to tip methane over duncan

i would love to tip methane over him

it’ll improve the quality of his life

and make his future far from dim

you see he will look like a fucken zombie

but it’s up here, that’s fine

i would love to tip methane over duncan

cause he is a nice guy

i would love to tip methane over patrick

yeah it’ll be fun to tip methane over pat

you see, i would love to show him, i can look after myself well

despite the house looking like a bomb hit it again

i will pick up the methane keg and as pat entered the room

i will tip methane over patrick, and say prepare to meet your doom

i would l;ove to tip methane over christopher

i would love to tip methane over him

you see he lives up in the gold coast, man

with his wife and kids, well, methane is the king

it will improve his life, man

whether he believes it or not

i would love to tip methane over christopher

cause, as a brother he’s a good sport

i would love to tip methane over bas boy

i would love to tip methane over him

you see, i want bas boy to work on his next life betty

and allow me to get on with mine

please allow me to do this, it’ll be really so much fun, oh yeah

i would love to tip methane over bas boy, cause it stick better than beer

ok, dudes and now here is another song called simply irresistible

how can it be permissible

to compromise my principle

the methane is passable

and it’s anything but typical

you see it’s a party moment, which can turn off a lot

you used to look so good to me, the methane is simply irresistible

see you soon neptune

hi dudes



you see with my past, of grabbing kids and letting them go, i have found

a way to get rid of the thoughts

1   to stop looking altogether

2  if i do look, i heard my mates voice in my head saying, leave the kids alone *******, and that works

through the power of head messing voices

3   if i accidentally film a kid, i want the woman’s voice saying, youtube no no, my7 daughter said so

4   i am working on keeping my hands busy on tapestries, so hopefully i don’t need the voices, a bit daddyish don’t ya think

5   if it gets in my mind too much, i will write it out of me, in a story

all in all, i will try to make this work, i don’t want to grab kids or be a phedaphile, i like kids, i am a nice person

hi dudes

this is my latest tapestry about a girl doing gymnastics named anne gymnasium and

bralyoda and billyoda with nanboy the great with his guitar

you see anne gymnasium is a great gymnast, and every day entertains cronus in his living room

no matter what the connection is, and bralyoda and billyoda are also keeping cronus updated

with their goings on, mind you, bralyoda and billyoda are too devious and cunning twins

who love life and being happy, and bralyoda handed a orange soda to billyoda and then

billyoda handed it to nanboy the great, guitarist of the internet, and ellen degenerous

knows that nanboy the great can really go places with his music

here is a song by all of them

anne’   you see as jump on my beam, ignore all the signs

that i will be ever be a loser

you see people can see me upside down, man

and that makes me feel so great

i am anne the gymnast, the coolest in the land

bralyoda’  i am the greatest alien

i will come up and say happy birthday

and then i will say to my mate, billyoda

hows it hanging he will say

billyoda’  i don’t know, but let’s get on with the show

and nanboy sang

nanboy the great’    go the mighty nanboy, man

i am the coolest person

i sing great music to my family as well as ellen too

yeah we’ll party right, as i do my covers, yeah i feel so radical

i am the greatest person called nanboy the great, the greatest in the land

and the greatest on the internet too

ok, dudes