Don't let the
Third dimension
Get you

Down

Who stole my loving?
Who removed my joy?
Surgical instruments
Sterilized silver knives
Who's winning the fight
When neither side is right?
Impending disaster areas
Coated in radioactive slime
I think it's time
I think it's time
This is the time

Bombs sail coolly overhead
Warm sunlight directs the flight
Circular motions around our head
Before everything goes white

I looked down at my boots as I kicked my feet gently through the zero gravity atmosphere.
I smiled but you wouldn't know it for the thick helmet encasing my skull with the shiny, dense glass fixated over my face could cover up a ******.
I gazed back at the ship hovering weightlessly in a sea of blackness.
I felt no pain.
I felt no loneliness.
And I felt no fright.

My eyes drifted down again at the cord coming from the rear of the ship and attached to my oxygen supply pack and I thought of you.
I knew you were with me.
And you would never leave.
You are my oxygen.
My time.
My space.
My life.
And my love.

When your breathing quickens
And your mind sways
Things just don't seem okay

When you're doomed to your bed
Your body glued to the sheets
You know life is something you can't cheat

Sometimes I think getting sick
Is the Universe's way of making sure
You know you can't run with your *** up, you're a *****

Up on a grassy hill
Electricity through my brain
Sky lights up
The crash is deafening

In a valley
Down low, lower
Than I knew I could go
The crash is deafening
The sight is blinding

hang me from the highest cross
next to the oak adorned in green moss
let me feel the knife as you push it into me
I won't flinch once as I cease to be
with a smile on my smug face
confident as I slowly leave this place

so give me everything you've got
my skin turns cold while the sun beats hot
one thing you can never ****
is the ghost of my heart even as I lie still

sounding like some lonely teenage poetry
spewing from my head, so ordinarily
typical people with the same ideas
laughing as they clink glasses, cheers
all the while I look on, my smile never fades
wondering what comes next as the music plays

Turn off your mind
Listen to the spaces
Between the sentences
Between the words
That your brain plants in you
To invade your comfort
Moving in and out and in again
Like the waves that crash ashore
That you love so much

Be one with your surroundings
Blend in and become the matter
That makes up everything around you
It is all the same
Everything alike
The only difference being
You are expected to go about
Happily
Knowing nothing
Of the true nature
Of the actuality of reality
Of how and why
You, me, him, her, them and us
Exist

The secret though
Is to do just that
Turn off your thoughts
Become an objective observer
Take in the sights and sounds
Let them consume you
And simply
Exist

I'm over here
Watching you kiss her
I've never feared
Being alone, alone
But now time is passing
And more time has gone
Nothing is lasting
When it is the way it is, it's hard to have fun

I get those nagging brain twitches
When I'm alone at night and in my bed
They eat at me from the undermost part of me
I just can never seem to get this wrapped around my head
Things aren't turning out, no they never have
And now I'm stuck here trying to figure it out
Oh it's so hard for me to forget it and just laugh
But this is the way, yeah, I think this is the way it has to be

Please
Read no further if you don't like
Who I am
And who I am
Is constantly
Changing
I shift with the tide on the blackest nights
I move with the waters
Sway like the branches
Blow like the wind
And I never know
Never ever
If I'm coming or
Leaving

So hear me now
And listen close
Put on your spectacles
If you need to
But what I'm saying here
Is change
Change
Shift
Transformation
It's been said a million times before
And it'll be said a million times after this
But when are we going to change?
Not just me
and not just you
And not just your family
and your neighbors and
your teachers
and cousins and
grandparents
I mean us
As a whole
As a complete and full circle
When are we going to break the cycle
Of what we think works
And realize it just
Isn't
And implement a new process
A new line of thought
An "experimental" approach, say?
Now people don't like that word
Because people are scared of change
And they don't believe in taking chances or risks or putting their own ***** on the line but come on!
When are we going to realize that living the same old way
In the same old house
Thinking the same old thoughts
With the same old brains
Is getting us nowhere?

Keep calm and keep up
Going and going until
You are a dust cloud

She comes around
When the sun goes down
She only shows herself
When Heaven goes to Hell

The moon glows bright
As you clamp your fist tight
Your anxieties don't deceive
She wants you to leave

And if you ignore the signal
Or forget the words to your hymnal
Do not dare to look back
For behind you will stand The Woman... In Black

There is a place
Deep in the woods on the
Outskirts of town
So deep, in fact
Not even many hunters
Go that far
When searching
For their next ****
It's simply too far in to go
If you don't plan on spending the night there
Because once you arrive
The air is usually thicker
And the Sun is usually set
The Moon already looming over you

But legend has it
That if you do dare
To go that far
What you find may be of
Great importance
To you
Or to someone you know
It will
Without a doubt change your life
Your world
And how you perceive it
Supposedly

The nature of what exactly
It is
Is up for debate
Some say its a well
And the water inside of it
If you're brave enough to scale the walls
All the way down
And drink some of the water
It may have a certain Fountain of Youth effect
If you will
On you or anyone who does this

Still, others say
To get to this well
You have to get there in one piece
Still breathing
You can't already be dead and then go looking for a **** Fountain of Youth, can you?
No, that pretty much excludes you from the whole effect
Anyway, it's a supposedly dangerous path
The trees might suddenly start closing in
As the volume of shrubbery gets thicker and thicker
The branches may take on a life of their own
And direct all their attention to you
Clawing and scratching
Until your bleeding all over
But that's not the least of it

Once a drop of blood is spilt
Just one tiny drop is all it takes
That's when she picks up on you
She lives in a house
The house in which the well is located
In the basement
But when she senses you're near
You're pretty much ******
She waits
And waits
And waits
Nostrils flaring
For you to either turn around and leave
Or to continue on
Towards her home

She has black eyes
Like her pupils have dilated to the point
That they overrides any color that was once there
If there ever was any color
She has black hair
That extends probably to around her waist
And mostly obscures her ****** features
There's no real way of telling
If she's an old woman
Or a young lady
Her hair scraggly
But that's probably due to a lack of bathing
Not age
And she's supposedly not such an ugly woman
When she chooses not to be
Her motives make her features morph
Her hair seems to grow
Her eyes intensify
The darkness within seeming to spill into the air around you

I don't know
I don't know if I believe it
I mean, it sounds like a bunch of ******* to me
Whoever made this up must've had a ton if time on their hands
But people believe this crap
They actually think a woman lives in the woods
With trees that seemingly come alive if you go too deep
And with a well in the basement of her house
That will magically have you live in forever

I don't know about you
But I think I want to try to hike there
Soon
If there even is a "there"
If only to prove all these lunatics wrong
Wish me luck

Things come, things go,
sometimes with nothing to show.
They float here and back,
whether the sky is blue or black.
Here's to what's coming and
all the things that passed.

You're feeling kind of worn out
Things, they never turn out
Like you saw them
In your dreams
Things, they're kind of hazy
Things have gotten crazy
A convoluted mish-mash of what once was
Things are never what they once were

So on this rainy night, baby
Just hold me tight
Take me through the wind
Next to you in the storm
Things you never win
May turn out pretty nice
You've just got to hold out your hand
For things that just may happen
You can't let your delusions
Stray you from the truth

Okay
So just do me this one favor
Please
Just sit down
If you're already seated, great
Stay there

Now
Relax
Close your eyes
For a while
Listen to your thoughts

Listening?
If you listen hard enough
You may just be able to make out
The
Spaces
Between each
And every
Thought
Try it

Do you recognize the spaces?
It might be so easy
At first
But once you
Relax
And keep trying
It should become
Pretty
Easy

This is a form of meditation
I try to do it every day
When a situation becomes
Overly stressful
Or things seem to be getting
Out of hand
Up there in my
Brain
Nothing works better
When you just want
To
Slow
Down

After all
If there were no
Spaces
Between
These
Words
You could read them
Sure
But try
Readingeverythinglikethisforanextremelyextendedperiodoftimean­dkeepdoingitandkeepdoingitandjustkeepgoingkeepreadingihopeyourest­illreadingthisbecauseifyourenotthenyouregoingtomissthepointofthis­wholeexercisesoihopeyoureadthewholethingforthesakeofyoureowninteg­rityohandyouhavenoideahowharditistofightmyurgetohitthespacebarrig­htnowitsprettyridiculousbutanywayifyoumanagedtoreadthisentirestri­ngofnonsenseithankyoueversodearly

If that made any sense
And it probably
Didn't
Then you probably have
A clearer picture
Of what I'm getting at
Or not

swim deep
never creep
let them know
it's you
find it
take a little bit
you are only
good for what
you need

turn tables
switch sides
the Clark Gable
do it for the ride
eyes wide
mouth open
wind whipping
don't need a bullpen

I find solace
In that thoughts are imaginary
Fever dreams
Nothing much to them
Until you act

That line that exists
Between your mind's tellings
And your mouth's doings
Is a beautiful thing
It's what I hang my hat on each day

And then there's that thing

Life
It's a weird one
An old, odd friend
Who you don't know whether to kiss
Or to lure into a back alley
Intent on cutting their belly open
To see what falls out

Sitting in the back of a stretch limo
Guilt runs rings around my skull
My head hung down so low
All that comes to mind is your echo

Things come together and fall apart
Bitter routine runs the world
Everyone smiles and grits the pain
But no one escapes the slow scars

And in the back of my mind
Thoughts swirl and mix
Producing iridescent jumble
Voluntarily hold the bucket still and kick

it's hard to explaint the way it feels
it's like that feeling she just loves to steal
nothing's wrong on the highway, behind the wheel
our shadows grow taller and eventually disappear
so hold my hand and don't let your heart succumb to fear
just take off your shoes and jump in the water so clear

drops coming from the sky split and splash
everything going fast is bound to crash
lightning and thunder at night while i'm in my bed
like that time you got dressed and crashed through my head

She said
Why don't you go to bed
With me?
It'll be
Like nothing
You've ever been
So I said back
You give me heart attacks
I just can't
Can't put myself through that

No, I won't subject myself
To you
I can't do it anymore

I tripped over
To her apartment
That night
Against my better judgment
Came through
Knocked on her door
What could I do?
I knew I shouldn't anymore
So when she said
That her nights been crazy
Her heads a mess
Barely balanced on her shoulders
I realized
That enough was enough
Told her
It would all be alright
It'll all be alright
Don't worry
I'm not in a hurry
As I walked out
It was all a lie
**I let slip happily through my teeth

Shimmy on down to the floor
The space between my eyes and your body
Never really becomes all that far
Waltz on closer, babe, it's time for a run
Down the block, keep your locks locked
Because we're gonna have some fun

They said you were fast but whoa
I never expected this
Like a bolt of lightning, honey you're so frightening
All I wanted was a kiss
No, I never, I never expected this

I got the feeling that you
You were an idealist
By just the way your hips move
You could make the Dean's List
With that mouth of yours, you can do wonders
Nobody talks like you, they just dribble out words
Compared to the way your tongue thunders

Lying in a
                  Hole.
         Running through
                         Burning hoops.
Not sure what to do
        But I've got to be
              Quick.

Faster
           Stronger
                          More versatile
           Than the rest.

                      A chameleon
With the strength
         Of a lion
And the speed
          Of a jet.

I've got to make myself
        Inhuman
                        To feel
      Up to this test.

But building up
        Only gets you so far.

                After you hit that beautiful plateau
                          You're gonna find yourself on the floor.

His beard is sharp
Styled and clean
She played the harp
In his mind, I mean
They went out
And up in flames
They weren't allowed
To love a love, the same

Down the road
And up the river
Kicking rocks
You feel a shiver
But I'll be around, oh I be there
Just tell me where you're to be found

one night to prove to you
not everything is blue
one day to pave the way
i need a reason to stay

calling on higher powers
to ease my mind
can't wait for the time it takes
to walk this thin line

so many colors around
all the greens and grays
our ears pick up the sound
we lean, we lay

we won't be here forever
this i know
in front of us, our lives are tethered
this i know

Eliminate this pain
And heal my afflictions
It just ain't the same
Your affection is itching
I'm crawling from head to toe
I'm dying from inside out now
I'm lying with every word
I'm liable for more hurt now

Throw me away
Like yesterdays trash
Take me from my home
And inject in me, the rash
Take advantage of my foolishness
Tell me everything'll be alright
Exacerbate your selfishness
When the moon shines at night
And keep on doing what you're doing
**** me with everything you have
Keep moving like your moving
And dance into the darkness tonight

You're shakin' in your shoes
I'm shakin' from the agony
I'm losing all control
As you're increasingly meaning nothing to me
I just don't care
To hear you whine
And I can't bear
To even be in your presence
When you're all black and blued
So I'm gonna walk this way
While you attempt to follow
I'm hiding it all away
Until I hit the grace of tomorrow

Tomorrow we all die
Tomorrow we all feel the pain
Tomorrow you cry
Tomorrow we all go insane

"All walk the path of life,
But only fools attempt to walk alone"
My thoughts echoed as I sat
In my head a little light shone

It grew until it was blinding
And then I realized I was a fool
More so than I previously accused myself of
I was on the right track to lose

Up until now I thought only the weak
Needed others to use like crutches
But the older I grow, the more it is known
It is nice to have someone over for brunches

Not just a friend or a confidant
But someone with which to share a deeper comfort
That slick combination of chemistry and attraction
It's always two more than one that life is fun for

To share and to care and to be there
For each other when the darkness rears it's head again
And for when the light decides to show it's face
I've said it before and I'll say it again
Won't you stay here, with me, in this ever-changing state of place?

When everyone feels
Entitled
To
Everything
In the end
Nobody
Gets
Anything

Wake up
Take a deep breath
And tell yourself
What you're worth
Is just the same
As the person
Next to you

At the end of the day
Everyone
Is the third wheel
No one
Deserves
The world
While people
Look on
With nothing
In their mouths
But their own
Withering
Tongue

She's so sweet
She makes my teeth hurt
Open cavity

To the lost and the
Broken and the hopeless to
The end of the ends.

Touch me
And sift
Through layers
Road rough and silky smooth
Feel the intricacies
Of love,
Hate & fear
That reside deep
Inside entwined
With biological
Messes
Through blood
Sweat & tears
Who's main function
Is the hormonal
Rush
That one is
Impressed on
With each
Word
And
Thought
And
Touch

The best karma is being born
Into a good family

Those aren't my words, rather
They're Duncan Trussell's
Who happens to be my favorite comedian/philosopher/human I've never met

And he's right
Tons of truth live in that statement
I've seen it first hand
And I'm sure you have too

I've always been a rather melancholy person
Prone to frequent depressive episodes
That usually culminate in contemplating
My own death
Whether or not it is ethical to end it
By my own hand
Or getting someone else to
Get their hands *****
By doing it for me

I've thought about disappearing
Just up and leaving without a trace
Into the wild
Like Christopher McCandless
But I know that my grief and guilt and never-ending disdain for myself
Would shadow me
Everywhere and anywhere I went

But I'm digressing
I want to talk about the origin
Of all that lurks inside me
Drenching my soul in darkness
And feeding off of me
And getting fat
With its unrestricted and mindless consumption
Of my energy

I want to start with my maternal great-grandmother
All I know of her is what my mother has told me
From what her father told her
Which wasn't much since she died when he only three years old
The main point I want to make is that she died in the care of
Shrinks, head-doctors, psychiatrists
Whatever you want to call them
In 1948
She was an alcoholic
Who would sing and sing
Without a single **** given
On the bus to and from work
People were obviously freaked out
By her unwillingness to conform to "normalcy"
Sitting quietly and ignoring everyone else on the bus
Like everyone else on the bus
So her brothers had her committed to an institution in Manhattan
One that is known to have had ****** conditions
And filled with doctors who treated patients like dirt
Flowers grow out of dirt, right?
If there was no soil on Earth, we wouldn't exist, no?
That's another digression (and maybe a pointless one at that)
Anyway
They said she died of liver complications
Which would make sense given her history of alcohol abuse
And then it was over
For her
Her sadness had ended
Albeit in quite a sad way
In a sad place
Filled with sad people
But she escaped
In the end
Leaving her memory
And, dare I say it,
Her sadness
To permeate down the line gallantly
On strong horses equipped with expensive leather saddles
Who now live within me
And I am certain
Will live on long after I am gone

The train
Rolls in
But not
With a
Toot-toot
Like in
Those old
Childhood songs
And shows
More like
A terrifying
Whoosh and
An alarming
Crash-bang

I boarded
And looked
Around, left
Right, up
Down, around
But nowhere
Could someone
Find proper
Seating so
I stood
My hand
Glued to
A metal
Pole

The train
Departed station
And I
Minded myself
And nothing
Else and
Nobody else

Just drifting
Looking down
And listening
To sounds
Of people
Whispering, turning
Pages and
Yearning

after work, every night
when i get high
i feel like the bottom of the barrel
every night, try as i might
when i get high
i feel like the only one

i don't get enough sleep
break the promises i said i'd keep
i broke out and i ran away
ended up in the same place
can't seem to keep this head on straight
too much work and too much play

so when i go crazy will you hold me?
by the looks of it, i'll be there soon
wonder why it was that you chose me
what you say at midnight doesn't match with noon
but the way your dark hair looks under the moon
it'll keep me coming, i'll be back soon

The war took many things
Many things from many people
Possessions, money, life and love
In descending order.

I was unaffected
For I had nothing to begin with.
No family, no friends, no money, nothing.
And I wouldn't have minded if I was a casualty.

I suppose my nothingness
Could have been taken from me.
If I had lost my life, I might have had something.
But even today, no one knows what happens after your body gives out.

My squadron would be sent on menial missions.
To destroy the last remaining churches, temples, synagogues, mosques.
Only to ***** out the centers for those who still clung to hope.
They were "menial" because there weren't many of those people left.

With the Earth scorched and hope all but a wistful memory
I wondered why, for the first time, I hadn't taken my own life.
It seems unbelievable to live hopeless for so long and never consider it.
But now I fantasized about setting myself on fire, instead of that church.

Days came and days went and nights were spent dreaming of flames.
My throat would hurt from screaming so loud and I liked that.
I would wake up in a blissful daze, the dream replaying in my head.
Then I'd fall asleep again and wake up dreading the tasks before me.

One day, not long after my flame fantasies had begun
The Captain sent our Android unit ahead of us as usual.
Their main use was to scout the area and **** whoever was in our way.
But that day, that day was one I'd never forget.

The Androids hustled ahead and explosions were heard soon after.
The Captain radioed to them but received no answer.
Worry grew wildly on his face as he looked to us.
"ULB-5256... See what the trouble is. This is your prime directive."

I had a feeling I would the one chosen.
The Captain knew I no longer valued my life.
I had never spoken out loud about it.
But the Captain had a way of just knowing things.

I jumped up, eager and excited as ever.
If I ran ahead and got blown to bits, that would be okay.
If I ran ahead and shot everyone else to bits, that would be fine too.
But I had to see what went down because this was my Prime Directive.

The sky opens up and all I see is you
From dusk til dawn, baby
My feelings are always true
I feel it in my gut
My stomach growls for a bigger piece
Was stuck in a rut for so long
But you give me hope to keep on
Keep on moving
My feet keep going
One after the other
You're always on my brain
Some might say I'm insane
But if they did
Then they never met you
So intoxicating
Girl, you're the only one as far I'm concerned
So scintillating
I'm forced to squint
Like the burning sun
Can't stare at you directly
For fear of blindness
With that angelic white light
Your aura, your way
Makes me wanna fight
Anyone who might try to squeeze their way between us
Forget them
They may cause a fuss
But they can never affect us

the lines on your face tell a story i've never heard
nor seen, blown to smithereens, you're a broken bird
with your wings growing back crookedly
the first time you saw will be the last time you see
i've seen this fifteen times before
the sixteenth won't mean much more
you're awfully late to the game you started yourself

your eyes once looked my way
floating in ***** water, unbathed
thinking i'm headed for a watery grave
because, to your eyes, i'm a slave
getting better at your favorite game

feed the beast and straighten the sheets.
feel the beat and wipe the blood with your sleeve.
time drips while you're taking slow sips.
you've got me comfortably sick. no buts, ands or ifs.

my life is flashing on the far wall.
i see all the times i'd get up after i'd fall.
you're still there, but you don't say anything.
i get scared, because i don't know anything.

i wanna do you
might wanna own you
see right through you
i see the one, lone you

in the end we'll both be unhappy
because our childhoods were ******
we can blame and go on for days
but we'll still listen to what our mothers say
can't ever seem to get a grip
we should take a long trip

and when we finally go
it'll be like all those tv shows
happy, happy, sad, happy
i want you to trap me
you're the only one to me
think we can set eachother free

They found his head in a ditch by the highway
The rest of him had vanished into thin air
His eyeballs had been gouged, his teeth knocked out
He had no known family to plunge into ****** despair

The way you call my name
With that tongue
Singeing my eardrums
Like the Devil's poker
After he takes it from the flame
I don't know if you're right
Or if this was all just meaningless
And your legs lied to me
As did your eyes
Your stare could deceive a judge
With the precision of a scalpel
While I'm on the operating table
Just staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting for some sort of feeling
To whisk me away

Oh sweet girl don't you see
That Heaven awaits you upon leave
You've got nothing to worry
Nothing to be a little bit sorry
About but you still talk to me
Like what we have is something

You're the weight behind the breeze
And when it shines, you are the sun beams
You're smile can change the mood
Of a room full of crude fools
And I am just one

When my eyes first rested
On you I was sure  I was being tested
By the forces that surround me
By all the powers that will eventually be
But then you opened your mouth
And you told me all about how
You've been (and asked me the same)

Sunrise.

Another fretful and sudden surprise.
Caught me on my bruised black blindside.
Never thought I'd see the day or this kind
Of feeling falling on the horizon of my mind.

Sunset.

Down again and overwhelmed by upset.
Turned around, and before I knew it, I let
Myself lose. Forever on the **** end of a bad bet.
Lets just see how much worse this can get.

Take your life
Turn it upside down
You've gotta fight
Flip the switch on that frown
I know it's rough
But it's just your perspective
I know you're tough
Someday you love gotta learn to live

When Everything's black & white
Nothing makes sense
Get the **** out and burn yourself with light
It doesn't even matter
As long as you're outta that self imposed ditch

Images flashing
Flashing
With
Recognizing
Eyes
And
Registering
Brain

Played over
Over
Through
Passageways
By way
Of
Electromagnetic
Impulse
And
Firing
Neurons

Within
Within those
Is a
Deeper understanding
As
Cerebral
Cortex
Takes hold
And forms
Within
Profoundness
Insidiousness
Forever

Wake up
Dread
Work
Too tired
Sleep

Wake up
Hope
Dread
Work
Too tired
Sleep

Wake up
Hope
To not dread
Dread
Work
Too tired
Sleep

Wake up
Hope
Wish
Dream
Dread
Work
Too tired
Sleep

Wake up
Work on not dreading
Hope
Dream
Dread
Work
Too tired
Sleep

Now, I don't know about you
But I know why they play love songs on the radio
Now, I don't know if it's true
But when you're riding down the highway
With the windows down
The air hits your face like water
Waking you up

I've built walls all around me
To protect me from the world
I don't know exactly why they do
Or why people want to hurl
Words and actions and things
That make me want to throw up

I carry this place on my back
People see but don't ask why
It's about time for a heart attack
But I'm still so young
I don't know why these things
Seems to be so attracted to me
But these unbreakable rings
Just love to surround me

When you speak
Like broken glass
Makes me weak
Cuts me deep
When you creep
Up on me
Acting like you're lonely

Don't come to me
Crying all the time
You're so pretty
With your waterfall eyes
But I want none of it
I did at one time but
I just can't handle this ****
So if you'd be so kind
As to step back
Take the tape and rewind
To the way it was
Before we were we
Before the love buzz

So just please
Do me this
Move with ease
Up on out
I don't want
Your hopeless pout
I just need
You to let go

Watch her lips
The way the words float from her mouth
Through the air
They seem to flutter
And then dissipate
Just like that

Watch her legs
The way they bend at the knee
Like an animal
Ready to pounce
With each and every step
Without effort

And last but not least
Keep your eyes
On her eyes
Two flickering, batting
Mysterious doors of light
That slam shut
Just as you reach the doorstep

What a performance

What happened to class?
And Frank Sinatra?
What happened to respect?
And being soft spoken?
What happened to being reserved?
And being quiet for just a second?