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94 · Mar 2021
Poem for Nick Drake
John Bartholomew Mar 2021
You make me smile in your ever lost misery
And sleep as sound as a dry riverbed once purred
Words that reveal
That heal
And just make the final seal for my prayers
As I look to the God's as I kneel
I'm gay
I'm straight
I'm as bent as the next partner I feel
I am what I am
Hence, goodbye

And sigh......

JJB
Nothing ever really makes any sense. Does it?
93 · Sep 2019
Every Last Drop of Breath
John Bartholomew Sep 2019
Hold on to that last thought
It could be your best
Save yourself from falling
Gulping the air back from your chest
Every second of life
Is this all just a test
As were only here once so savior
Every last drop of breath

JJB
92 · Jun 2024
Rude in Richness
John Bartholomew Jun 2024
Money means no manners when it comes to lifetime matters
Cake slice, some tea, drank with a China Pennyroyal cup
Yet still finds the audacity to leave the toilet seat left up
Not even a lift of the finger when let go at a turn
Just screeches off, no cares in the world, as those Lamborghini tyres burn
A click of the finger to summon the passing waitress
Casually dressed at his father's wake, not even his Sunday best
The wife scurries around, a family day out, trying to keep order to their brood
As he just sits back, glass of wine in hand, wallowing in richness he doesn't even find rude...
Cheers! 🥂

JJB
92 · Mar 2021
Redeemed.
John Bartholomew Mar 2021
This album reminds me of another time
Before I committed the most selfish of personal crimes
Upsetting the odds and breaking up lifes timetable
To become paralysed and a whole less able
No words can explain my personal pain
To have left my loved ones in the hugest downpour of rain
Escaping on lifes support whilst oblivious in an induced coma
Such a selfish *******, yes I know
Please don't go there
For I love the people who stuck with me through each and every scene
Without you, Jeez, where would I now have been
As I now feel that one word that's sown up my loose seems,
Redeemed

JJB
Redemption is not perfection. The redeemed must realize their imperfections. - John Piper

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. - Audrey Hepburn
92 · Nov 2024
A.M. Thoughts
John Bartholomew Nov 2024
Erring on the edge of contemplation
Those deepest thoughts released from their station
Running astray without an end game
Released from their pit, now wild not tame
How can I sleep knowing these are now free
All forgotten when you awake,
tiredly stirring my tea

A.M. Thoughts

JJB
92 · May 2020
Lego Love
John Bartholomew May 2020
A fresh start
Pieces to build
I've found a new heart

What segment fits where
You look
It's love
Just don't stare

Excited
To build this fortress of love
Each block just falls into place
The odd bit missing but who is to care

Segmented
Dislocated
It fell apart all to easy
Blown with the wind on a day too breezy

A castle isn't made in just a day
We build
We love
We hang onto what they say

I feel I go in way to gungho
And that is why it always falls apart
These days I see life in a different light
Keep calm and relax
as,
Love is like Lego
(it always has a new start)

JJB

#italsobreakseasily
91 · Jun 2021
Together Alone
John Bartholomew Jun 2021
We used to walk
And revel on what we might be
We used to talk
About dreams of you and me
We used to laugh
Watching comedy on TV
But didn't see it coming
The devil and the deep blue sea
What divides us now
From the grass and the as yet grown trees
We just seemed to lose our touch
And sadly that's what broke,
you
and
me

JJB
91 · Jun 2020
Breathe
John Bartholomew Jun 2020
We all breathe
Yet sometimes heave
Let out a sigh
Followed with a cry
It makes us live from lungs to bellows
How God made man from the dice that he throws
Instinct with nature,
Something that we never have to remember

And,

Breathe

JJB
91 · May 2022
Dress Down Anyday
John Bartholomew May 2022
The wife says its Friday so work is dress down cool
But sat on the sofa everyday
Nobody wants this fool
I'm not annoyed so much as slightly bitter
Grades up until my eyeballs
Unfortunately you just don't fit here
Was it the interview and my calm, over rehearsed, relaxed speech
Or plainly just the wheelchair
Those heights I just cannot reach
So kneel down beside me to hear my lost crude witsome banter
You should try it on stage mate
What is it, a beer or just a Fanta?
As maybe I wasn't cut out for the suit and to dress everyday tall
This is what I am now,
Different, cut to size, and to some, a little bit special
I know I will never get used to being six feet five to WHAM,
Four foot and ******
But that is life
Some you miss, some you see,
and some times you were lucky to have just ducked.

JJB
91 · Apr 3
Blessed
Those gorgeous blue eyes
That smile I could never tire of
Already bossing me in my place
Chatting like a madam
Her words have no bounds
Saying what you see with no consequence
As honesty just comes from the heart
No finish line,
just a babbling uncontrollable start
A girl who already knows how to dress
No trousers, jumpers or leggings
I will choose what I want daddy,
now go just away,

Blessed

JJB
My Clodagh
91 · May 9
Nick Knowles
A mountain could not move this man
Whether building a house or catching a tan
Adventures that never seem to fail
From travelling the world,
or installing a school sign in braille
Brushing his hand through that ruffled brown hair
One objective in life, to love and to care
From Julia Kendall onto Billy Byrne
His laugh and his frolics
They all get their turn
But only one man could make me feel this whole
It's him,
The one
The only,
The God that is,
Nick Knowles

JJB

🔨🔧🪚🪛🔩

😉
90 · Jul 2023
Fuck Work
John Bartholomew Jul 2023
Sat staring at my computer screen
(The monotone)
Wondering if this really is all a bad dream
(Feels like a lobotomy)
Work so dull I just want to scream
(Someone please clobber me)
My thoughts so dusty and dry
(Bus ride home, some hellish geometry)
Blueberrys grow through the side of the fence
(Free food from our Gods own apple tree)
But somebody please put me into that long sleep,
And out of my own failed misery

JJB
90 · Apr 2024
Men Hurt Too
John Bartholomew Apr 2024
I have a complex history of destruction and rebuilding
A fragile take on man who often needs self healing
For I am not a castle that can take on any more wars
As many a battle I have had that needs no more scars
Alive with insults thrown at a skin that is close to breaking
Just a little love is all I need and a heart I would love to take in
For an age comes when you need no more ****** battles
A laugh, a drink with no time to think is a life on which I could settle
To watch the sun set without a thought and to live life on our pension
As time is to short to always comprimise, who needs a life sentance?

JJB
#peace #love #relax
90 · Dec 2024
(Now I'm), Old News
John Bartholomew Dec 2024
That day you become old news
Just a piece of the puzzle
A chain in their queue
That love that now has no requirement
Just a kiss on the cheek
Time to pull Eros out of retirement
For this isn't how it's supposed to be
From mad young lovers
To playing golf on the 18th tee
Discussing our best retirement plan,
just who to leave our money too,
Once we've kicked the can...

Don't waste time
You're only here once!

JJB
90 · Oct 2024
A Love of Letters
John Bartholomew Oct 2024
This is a poem to the woman of whom I spoke
My words often inspire her, but sometimes make her choke
As we leave on a sad day from Sandy Conservative Club
He was a one and only, her sibling, her Thom, her bruv
Most of the poems I write should be deleted or thrown into a hole
But some words of encouragement are gratefully greeted,
and for this, I thank you Doll.

A Love of Letters

JJB
90 · Feb 16
The Hitman and Her
One job
One chance
One hit
One love that he would never miss

Money is a currency that can rule the heart
Fluidity an exception from finish to a new start

A mask to cover any emotion once worn
This life I commit to a bond now sworn
Love an attachment to which I am torn
Sometimes I wonder to another life born

Occasionally a glimpse of a face vaguely similar
A heartbeat regretting a love to find familiar

As I retire from a life with times I'd rather forget
Still thinking of her smile, a warmth I now regret

The Hitman and Her

JJB
You had one job.
89 · Dec 2022
Little Fox
John Bartholomew Dec 2022
You already had me broke
With not a word had you ever spoke
That flash of cherry, not quite blond, had my heart in a bond
And a grin to just tick my box
So cunning
So sweet
So beautiful,
My adorable,
My daughter,
My Little Fox

JJB
88 · Mar 2020
Rations
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
Drinking coffee underwater,
It don't taste like it ought ta

Now running low on salt and pepper,
Not allowed out until someone lets her

Waiting for the lawman to fire that starting gun,
Locked inside to make our own fun

In 9 months we really could have a baby boom,
Locked together for 12 weeks, stuck in the same room

Nothing on the telly that can resemble a decent sport,
The kids at home now all being self taught

Lets get over this blip and laugh it off in due time,
As most of us will live, with just the unfortunate that die

People in the aisles all fighting over soap and bog rolls,
Who ever thought a dump would take its toll

But come on people, it's not hard to stay inside,
Batten down the hatches on a scale called nationwide

We'll all have stories to tell on how we survived,
Now let's all just get our heads down and stay alive!

JJB
86 · Dec 2020
Just Watch Me Die
John Bartholomew Dec 2020
I step out
Scan the crowd
This is still new to me
OK, some classics to break the ice
They grumble
A few mumbles
And then I stumble
That one topical joke that fell flat on its face
Wether it be running, religious or race
This one sunk without a trace
Stick to the day job, this isnt for you
Some like you in spades, but only the few
But in life you have to give everything a try
Maybe not stand-up comedy
The shudders
The snarles
The stares
Wow,
Just watch me die

JJB
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man. - Sam Kinison

Stand-up comedy is something that you have to strive to do, multiple times a night, every night, to be good. - Ali Wong

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer. - Dane Cook
85 · Feb 2024
We Are Life
John Bartholomew Feb 2024
From Adam and Eve
To Sharon and Steve
We are life
Amoebae that floats in water
To a fish who first swam for you
We are life
Flying with grace up from the ground
Then onto the dodo extictly found
We are life
Moving on through one hundred million years
Onto the pub and sipping some beers
We are life
Progression
Regression
Stagnation
Optimism
Someday we will travel the stars
And meet others a million miles afar,
as,

We Are Life

JJB
#havehope #wearenotalone
John Bartholomew Aug 2024
As a timepiece is under the auctioneers hammer
He repeats the words, going, going, gone, in his usual daily grammer
For we as people are not set in stone
The dinosaurs ruled but now all that is left is bone
If your drink is half empty or always half full
No matter what, no one can escape our final curtain call
And all those pills you take can only delay our inevitable ending
Go make those last apologies, to a life beyond now mending
But to end on a high, some of us really did live in our prime
Now to watch that clock tick down, we had a pretty good time
So if you think you've been low and often down trodden, fear not
You will always be a legend my son, and yes,
Gone,
But never forgotten

JJB
83 · Dec 2024
Drive Thru Love
John Bartholomew Dec 2024
Fell in love with the girl at the till
Queuing for food that's against my will
Order at first booth, I'm in for the ****
Not the 'whats your food baby', she doesnt fit the bill
Rolling up to the next to grab my fill
Acting cool, looking smart, I'm just pure chill
She looks me in the eye, I loose my practised drill
I ramble, I stutter, just noticing her name is Lil
Those words I blabbed, just came to nothing, think I lost this one nil
As I opened up the burger I'd just bought, stupidely ordering the dill

JJB
82 · Apr 2024
Acting Queer
John Bartholomew Apr 2024
Excuse me dear for acting queer
It was a fate I was triumphantly born with
Through shadows and lies I prefer his thighs
To those my mother bore birth did give
Some stubble
Man trouble
A daily not monthly cause of my mood
Rainbows shining
My love is not hiding
The chemists for Veet to rub me down smooth
I can still rub shoulders with the best of men
Down my local where they suspect I change gone ten
But I do love a cocktail after a few cheeky beers
It's just the way I am ***, all this, hiden show
Go let it out!

Acting Queer

JJB
81 · Nov 2024
Manscapping
John Bartholomew Nov 2024
Just when did this time come, when it seems so apparent
As we were never self taught, by our guardian or our parent
That at some point it may look a mess
And from what we now see online, it's a something to address
Even in shops, such as Superdrug and Boots
It's on the man shelf, to shave how it should suit
As now the wife is comparing, to what she has seen in ****
We have never been so careful, not even cutting the front lawn
And it's not a point I'd like to take up with my local barber
I think I'll keep it to myself, a secret I can easily harbour
As who's going to know if we keep a big old bush
I'll just keep it as it is, as I'm in no manscape rush

JJB
John Bartholomew Oct 2020
Don't touch me
Don't feel me
All these things I'd do for a fee
The red lights are down low
Those scenes I'd do with my so called step-bro
But China knows nothing of this pandemic, oh-no
Our moneys stopped flowing
Our flesh has stopped showing
It makes a nice change as its just balloons were now blowing
I could explain a bit more but I don't want to get rude
As it's a life where the majority is solely crude
And I won't name any names as I really don't want to be sued
But I'm afraid to say it will pick up again sometime soon
Where we don our fake smiles and ******* our boots
Because thats the life we live as,
The Pornstars and the Prostitutes

JJB
80 · Jun 2020
Seasons Reasons
John Bartholomew Jun 2020
Summer: Winter always rocks up when you least want it
Winter: And summers only stay until they turn toxic
Autumn: Then there's me rolling in like an unwanted smell from the gutter
Spring: But it's going to be OK kids, as I'll soon make it all feel like summer 🌞
Let's start again...
Adam and Eve onto all we can please
Extinguish these dominant powers
No religion, sexes and land
Not having to play the assertive hand
Wiping out this all empowering rule
Helping those in our time of need
Humanity, our enriching tool
Our well being not suffering in war
A neutral planet
Not goverened by federal law
Kindness is a trait now fading from our soul
And I am not sure how much more this world can take
As she surrenders to this burden,
we have taken on her earthly toll

JJB
79 · Mar 6
Miss La La
Aerobatic
Entertaining the aristocratic
Hanging from reinforced ropes
Living in danger
Not living in hope
Beige crimson and somewhat frilly lycra
Circus crowds a good place to hide, yeah
Running from that man who wants his revenge
New hair colour and a crop top fringe
But I will travel no matter how far
As I am now the utterly wonderful
The truly delectable,
Miss La La

JJB
78 · Jul 2024
Happy Alone
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
Happy alone in a world of my own
Not tuning into the everyday tones
Parents in the playground always with a groan
All cars cost too much, on lease hire or by loan 
Settled and mellow in these God given bones
Just turn the noise right down on your latest iPhone
Because, and I repeat,
I'm happy, and don't want to say it again,
thats just me,
I'm happy,
Happy Alone

#pleaseleavemealone

JJB
78 · Aug 2020
Lifeless
John Bartholomew Aug 2020
Sat still, no motion
People passing by, not even a notion
A fly lands, not once but now twice
I want to move it, but maybe it was its choice
Your everyday pigeon, just given up the ghost
I wonder what it thought, this is me at my most
I'd rather sit here and let be what may be
Than dying on the top of the branch, and land from the nearest tree

#whatdopigeonsthinkbeforedeath
78 · Jan 2024
Yesteryou
John Bartholomew Jan 2024
To think of how we were different
A trip down memory lane that merges with the current
Preference not knowing of what was to come
Not being frowned upon for a bit of fun
We were out to have a good time
Stick by the rules and have you home by nine
It was a time when people seemed a lot more true
Unlike that time you cheated in the ladies loo
That is why I prefered you back then
When you was the original, the honest,
Yesteryou

JJB
78 · Jul 2024
Love ❤️
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
Her eyes, iris blue
Instant love, how could this be true
Shining like a light, swimming in throws
Let love shine blossom, as rapid karma grows
My former misdemeanors now a thing of the past
As we lay here under moonshine, on this damp luscious grass
Memories of cruelty now all just forgotten
The me of old is history, a man to the core just rotton
Because I have changed and this is all down to you
As love at first sight is a thing of tales,
but really,
can be true.

❤️

JJB
#iloveyou
77 · May 2020
This New Life
John Bartholomew May 2020
In lockdown with no friend's
This is sadly our new trend
Making good as of this **** virus
Listening to music you'd not heard in ages,
Guns & Roses, Kylie Minogue but still a big no to Miley Cyrus
Conjuring up recipes with what's left in the cupboard
Coriander to Cumin, it still tasted wretched
To speaking to your neighbour on a Thursday night
And probably never again in a years time
It has brought us all together in a funny way of speaking
Even some celebs seem more normal from what they have been Tweeting
The live chats from inside their home on the news
Then comparing who earns the most from the size of their kitchen, its hard to choose
And then cutting our hair in the surroundings of our own homes
Then watching how its done from YouTube on our mobile phones
This is bound to cause some trouble and strife
But don't worry people, it won't last forever
It'll be over soon enough,

This New Life

JJB
77 · Jan 2020
I'm not OK
John Bartholomew Jan 2020
I don't know how to keep disguising the fact,
That when someone asks me how I am,
I don't like to say,
But,
OKAY,
I'm not OK

JJB
77 · Jun 2024
Roadie
John Bartholomew Jun 2024
Living out of bags thrown on the floor
Different numbered doors on every tour
Rolling up my baccy to release the stress
These band days are over, oh what a mess
Loading amps from Orange onto a Marshall 
Setting up the phone, the singer a two-timing rascal
Soon to hit the papers, from The Sun and onto the Fleet
Pregnancy is something you just can't keep discreet 
The rows will soon tear this love apart 
Now kipping on the bus where the guy's belch and often ****
These days will soon be over, give me my kids and a day in the park 
As life on the road could soon be a non-start
Just one more tour
A quick line to secretly score
As years of carrying this load really has left me quite sore

Roadie

JJB
76 · May 2020
Furloughed
John Bartholomew May 2020
A word that is new to me,
Crept up like a bug over the China seas,
Where a chunk of the land have now been put on this epidemic called furlough,
You'll soon get your job back, in this temporary new low
So the Government has promised to pay us eighty percent
Yeah, thanks Mr Johnson, that still just about covers my rent
And back to work with a tax increase so large to pay for this mess
Its coming people, mark my words, don't believe a word that politician says
76 · Sep 2020
Nine
John Bartholomew Sep 2020
A number
Just too short for a double
Back on the wing at White Hart Lane
To sort out any imposing trouble
Lucky for some
Depending on what and why
The time for weekend breakfast
How'd you like your eggs, scrambled, poached or fried?
It doesnt just fit on anyones new shirt
A Welsh genuis on the ball, he'll leave you in a blizzard
All hale our returning son
Lets just say we have him home, our little pocket wizzard
Feeds the ball to Kane and Son
Every pass is on a plate
Takes the ball from the sky
Like a fish devouring it's bait
He runs like the wind passed attacking foe
Knowing he's got it nailed
For he is the one,
The only,
Yes,
He is,

Gareth Bale

#No.9

JJB
76 · May 2020
Mr Goody 2 Shoes
John Bartholomew May 2020
Not a step out of line
Your dance, your prance, your swagger
Perfection based upon your moves
This made me want to pull that trigger

Your tune
They fall to the floor from that tick
Tock-tick, tock tick
Man you make me sick

Walking past me like I don't exist
Just giving me the blues
Of course it's always you they choose
So I blew you away
Bye-bye
Over and out

Mr Goody 2 Shoes
(ha!)

JJB
76 · Aug 2020
Desperado
John Bartholomew Aug 2020
No skills, just a passion for notability
They'd hang you from the nearest tree,
just to make a pretty penny
Lovable, but off in a flash
Could talk the knickers off the tightest of gowns
Sorry, was that my call, must dash
You know this fellow as they often once appear
A charmer, a lover, a chancer
And always leaves the girl in tears
76 · Apr 14
Toxic
A girl without a name
It makes no odds
When they all act the same
Some cruel desire to manifest your life
Sweet on the surface and to the face
So **** hot but ready to twist
Stab, puncture, that unseen knife
A quick fix of ******* lust
Hell, you're only here once
To dip into this toxic life

JJB
76 · Sep 2024
Reflective/Possesive
John Bartholomew Sep 2024
Avoiding all mirrors
A calorie sinner
Dreaming every night
To wake up a little thinner

One time visit to the local gym
Membership cancelled, straight in the bin
I just to live my life in sin

Something to grab,
They're called love handles I'd brag
Now lets get upstairs for some lovin', its called a quick....

Being judged on TV by Hopkins and Feltz
As I lay in bed watching, listing to the heavy rain pelt
With clothes that just fit me, another notch on my expanding belt

But why be unhappy trying please the chosen few
Please yourself and not the judgemental crew
Were on here once my friend, so,
Let you just be you

JJB
75 · Jun 2024
Hunter
John Bartholomew Jun 2024
Hunting like a velociraptor
Easy prey to bed and capture
Decent of man in the realm of a no good
Devouring the weak like a ***** given free food
Snarling like a lion on the bones of his carcass
The weak lay still,
out talked by this circus
This kind of man kills all will and promised light
To the bewildered and weak,
who have given up on they're daily fight

JJB
John Bartholomew Dec 2019
Arriving like a flash of pure light,
A buzz,
A whiff,
A, look at me, I'm not here just as a gift

Momentous,
Crucial,
Pivotal,
Names I have plundered, on a Sunday morning call

Historical,
Far-reaching,
Consequential,
Fateful, all in a book, no author may dare claim

Evidenceless,
Timeless,
But always on trend
Oh Lord, how can it already be the end?

JJB
“Disbelief held me down inside my footsteps, making my body heavy but my heart wild.”― Markus Zusak
74 · Feb 7
One Last Breath
As I lay here thinking
Blinking
Rapidly sinking
Before I say goodbye
I tried
With a teardrop I cried
Not to wake from this sleep
Those demons creep
In thoughts, now, so deep
As I struggle for air
To do is to dare
Like anybody cared
To leave this life unto our certain death
I just wondered why,
with that,
One
Last
Breath

JJB
73 · Mar 2020
Memories of Youth
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
We kissed in the playground,
I remember your blonde hair
Being boldly eight and we were just the same,
Now I don't remember your name

Asking old friends of a time since lost,
Memories I'd love to have back now, at any cost
Innocence was a sanctity now craved by most elders,
Of a time long gone, where nobody told us

I pushed you in the park, to the floor then on the swing
We laughed about our larks, not caring of such things
Our parents said we had to be home by six,
Oh to have those days back, that stumbled into teenage kicks

For we don't see what we had in the palm of our hands,
A light smack on the *** for filling her wellies with sand
Such purity of mind that is now long in the tooth
To have those days back, yes,
Memories of Youth

JJB
“Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”― Franz Kafka

“Youth is wasted on the young.”― George Bernard Shaw

“What a weary time those years were -- to have the desire and the need to live but not the ability.”― Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye
73 · Apr 26
The Older That I Get
The older that I get
The more I **** regret
Decisions I have made
The price that I have paid
Some words I may have said
Drunken nights waking in another bed
For these are the songs that we sing
And we can never change a thing
As this was the chosen bet
And there is nothing that I regret
The older that I get

JJB
72 · Aug 2024
Lost Cause
John Bartholomew Aug 2024
When i wake up, I don't know where I'm at
Alone, confused, gargled and rinsed, then swished and openly spat
No job, no life, my head a complete mess
Is life trying to test me, and conquer my personal stress
As I look at those mistakes I made,
and wish I could just press pause
For I am a useless being,
Living a life as a lost cause

#helpmeplease

JJB
72 · Feb 2020
Unleash
John Bartholomew Feb 2020
The power within,
Embroiling my sins,
Holding back what can't be released,

A scream with no sound,
Digging for what can't be found,
All I need is a realm of my inner peace

To take over my world,
A power that can tame when unfurled,
On you that I need to unleash

JJB
72 · Dec 2020
Broken
John Bartholomew Dec 2020
When your heart is black and broken
And its weeks since we have spoken
I'm hoping it's not been sixteen years wasted in time
When there have been others waiting in line
For love is a one off thing
Not bound by words and a settlement ring
But by hope and a life we could be doing
Instead sat at the window,wondering,with a piece of gum
Just endlessly chewing

JJB
71 · Dec 2020
The View From Another Me
John Bartholomew Dec 2020
Watching
Waiting
Slowly avoiding the mistakes I often made
A chess piece with no alternative control
Unmaneuverable actions that always took it's toll
From walking to now his wheelchair must roll
Paralyzed but that won't stop his determined soul
If I could tell him one thing it would probably be wrong
He took it upon himself to be a part of his own song
And that's just how his life now will sadly go on.

JJB
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