No reaction, just a ripple of shudder
Nearly 30 years, could of done less for ******
Maybe paper, a pen and then just write to her
As a guy once said, its now dead in the water

Remember those days when I finally caught her
Hearing old songs as Waterloo Sunset and Paperback Writer
Now worlds apart with no connection to light here
As I dwell with thoughts just sipping my can of cold beer

Time is an unseen evil in disguise
Falling in love then can't wait for goodbyes
I honestly thought she was the one and I'd finally caught her
But, in the end, she trickles away
Just like punching water.

JJB

Taking your money doesn't give me anxiety
I'll keep scrounging from this inept society
The more I can get that just keeps fuelling me
And the drugs I get, oh, the varieties!

My kids don't even know I exist
Mostly a one-night stand out on the ****
Just mates of my dealer and ones of my sis
It starts with a sniff and then onto a kiss

Yet we breed them
We need them
To harbour our woes

We feed them
We house them
Just to keep us on our toes

We curse them
We nurse them
Not every good deed shows

And then we cloth them
Rarely dethrone them
As politicians, they hate to be exposed

That scrounger
On his sun lounger
Slurping Pina colada
In the sun where no one can harm you
Away from Kerry and the sniveling Garda
And Donal who wrongly barred you

The fingers I show you are now two
As I laugh at the times you said I'd never pull it through
Watching the locals just dancing in their tutu's
San Migual please Pedro and, of course, one for you!

Paddy Scrounger

JJB

What to wear on that specific day;
Smart
Skinny
Super Skinny
Bootleg
Oh what the heck
Should they be trousers, jeans, combats or chinos
What if the crowd are all smart come casual
My Converse boots or my polished Italian Tino's
I don't want to stand out like a sore thumb
A shirt and blazer is how I think I should come
The tail end of a wedding can be a confusing matter
As you don't want to be seen as the talking point of their chatter
These tartan cotton threads can be worn on any occasion
Dark yet understated, I'm not one for too brazen

JJB

The C30
The C60
The C90
Depends how much thought you have
If it was just to get them into bed or real true love
The songs had to mean something in one way or another
If just to say sorry or to get them under your covers
A lyric
A phrase
A night that got you in a daze
Times of deleting and re-recording
A song not to long that could sound a bit boring
Something that had a beat, a pulse, to stop them from snoring
The tape
The CD
The download
For what was mixed will now never be remembered
It sits in the lost drawer with photos our schoolmates did lend us
Nothing to play it on as it won't mix with iTunes
A 90's tradition now lost in our bedrooms,

Mixtape Memories

JJB

I saw a tiredness in her face
Years of gossip
Some snide remarks
But a laugh I could not replace
What goes on
What went on
Is a tale she'll always know
If not subject to social smear
Just ask her (for) blow by blow
But don't get me wrong as she is a light not to diminish
She'd buy you a drink
Shot by shot
Under the table til the craic is all but finished
Not to leave a story unaccounted and two ends left unturned
She'd make something up on the spot
Even if future scorns and leaves her slightly burnt
For the word on the street is her everlong racing beat
What happened and where was her everyday scare
And for bones that unwrapped and to be laid bare
Had taken its toll on her face that now shows its tears

Tired

JJB

THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL WAITING ON PLATFORM 3. YOUR TRAIN IS CURRENTLY RUNNING 30 MINUTES LATE. WE APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.

Oh great.
And this to make up for always being late.
Maybe its fate.
A love that was never meant to be.
Something that only the Gods of time can see.
A text.
What can I do but maybe make-up ***
A text
A wait
Now a reply of hate
Flowers in the bin and I won't bother
She'd be better with a more reliable lover
A girl with no watch and an absence of time
If available then join the back of the line
Time to defect and walk back down those stations steps
Always another girl so what the heck
There in the back ground whilst kicking some stones
The noise of an announcement far away from the stations tones....

WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE FOR THE RECENT MISCOMMUNICATION ANNOUNCED REGARDING PLATFORM 3. THAT TRAIN IS NOW PULLING IN AND IS ON TIME. AGAIN, WE APOLOGISE FOR THIS ERROR.

**** it.

JJB

I look, we all do, how much are you worth?
No really, how much?
That car, finance?
That house, inherited?
That holiday, a friends villa?
That flight, Ryanair?
I'll carry on judging until I am corrected
And it is what it is as I rightly suspected
Your as rich as me, it's just a smoke screen and a false front
No wonder they say what they say as you really are a ####
I'm happy with what I've got and not living like the encore
As I can get on with this life and live with being poor

JJB

An animal that we learnt to trust
Its cunning, its planning, a must
A lot of mammals are not a fan
But look at the potential after building that dam
The river now flows to a part of ruin
Let's celebrate this genius on the wood that they've been chewing
To build a habitat for this beast of some distinction
Who has made life for others without bragging on completion
Oh, and its also what men call their wife's nunny
Strange how words switch to mean something funny!

******

JJB

Our only planet and look what we have done
Litter, from such critters, known as us
How dare we ruin our one and only home
Caked in plastic, detergent and animals so rare we only have bones
What have we become
This can only be summed up in one
People are one thing and one thing only
Savages
Utter savages
I will state it again
How dare we,

People are savages

JJB

From buying my first guitar
To watching strippers in the corner bar
So much can happen
In a street not that well known
A name change now The Broadway
Even this cannot change its sodden ways
Rileys now a place to lose weight
Some games I had when I'd lost my stake
The dive bars now a place to skin up
A Caribean twist with a Guinness to sup
Installing the refit to the Clipso hairdressers
To having a row with the fella who worked there
As to most it will always be the Harlequin cut through
But to us kids in the 90s it was a place of scandel and curfew

JJB

I think the title is a little less than needed
For you live a life begging from daddy,
For more I've always pleaded
Grow up stupid girl as your balance is always red listed
As you flick through those sites so fast on things you can't afford
Your fingers now have blisters
Dreaming of a life fulfilled, good food and well bred horses
Now stuck in a house in the middle of nowhere, teaching her kids the same of a times that she endorses
For her car is a Range Rover with a spate battery in the footwell
Advertised on Exchange and Mart as a car that

Draining away without a thought in the world
Sat on Standby in a constant power surge swirl
Without it our devices would all unfurl
Back to their start date and the way they were first made
Flashing the time reset before hieroglyphics in our caves
Imagine this everyday and the time we now save
But that unthought power reliance still costs us a few quid
A yearly debit sometimes close to the lid
But let’s be realistic, it’s a need we cannot rid
For a warming cable at night keeps every house right
Until the alarm goes a bing, and the bedroom light is bright
It’s a cost we will devour as it’s not worth the penny pinch fight
But if you want to have the will and the energy to lower
Then you my friend live in a state I cannot devour
For I will let them **** and slurp overnight on my lazy need,
As they are the phantoms suckers of our power.

JJB

Bowels of every life are made in this department
Think about it
The movement, the progression, the here after
From humans to dogs, trains on a track then the newt to the frog
This region is overlooked, so much can happen here
Its what makes us move, thrive on and even shed the odd tear
A ******, from some you don't trust, a night of lust
Needed by some, just a bit of fun, a kid hits you like a ton
For it is not just us who move on from this region
The engine, the hair pin, every corner a story
Keep the vehicle on track, life's journey does not lack
Those moments of grandeur that sometimes bore me
We rally on, just keep on moving, this machine always accelerating
Legs are running, if still not working, the brain always thinking
The depths of mortality, the human psyche, keeps on breeding
Even our mode of transport, the way we move, all has its engine
A beast that roars, if between our legs to a plane that can soar
Pipes that can fuel, carry this source to the brain that controls
Stephenson's the Rocket to the phone in our pocket
Machines that roll paper for the game that end up as our ticket
All have a base, a frame, what is known as the building blocks of life,
As we all stem from what is our essentially known as,

Undercarriage

JJB

200 million years since the last lot were here
AD,BC, not applicable
No religeon to now fear
For Earth has been through its toughest of showers
From the cosmos to the ice frosts
It slowly rebuilds its supernatural powers
As life as we once knew it
Steadily grows again from the ground
A third phenomenon now raises its heartbeaten head
To see what planet is left to be compound
What God of universal proportion could make this reoccur
Are they bored in their place of work
Twiddling their thumbs
Calculating their sums
Prodding with a fork, ideas of whats next, but mainly smalltalk
But something is now slowly growing
A breed to outdo the previous they had sewing
Life as they know it has a fresh new face
Something truly phenominal
To inherit this Earth and put life back in its place
Until that day
We continue to **** this planet of everything it has
Down to its very last natural fibre
From its oil and its wind and down to the sea
A home of now I could not, unfortunately, describe her

JJB

I've been hit
All of us have but in different ways
Depends on how you recover
Waking up and that feeling of utter dread
Where do I look, are the answers in some book
The wife may know or do I ask my lover
A turning point where all is seen in a brand new way
The justice, the injustice, the must have must haves
I'm only here once
A front bigger than Brighton, always on the blag

Maybe I deserved that thump of unfair life
As been a naughty boy and relished in the past
God has his ways, I'll catch you one day you *******

But the hill has a summit as for which I now climb
I toppled, I lent to far, I took my eyes from the prize and crashed that ******* car
But these matters are just a hiccup, a step in the wrong direction
Strive on young man,
Having eliminated those who now do not care
Throw at you what they want, spread your tales online,
For social media is there for us all to bear

But no,
Hold that light of what really still can come
As you ignore those mutters from the downtrodden and those on the everyday rat-run
The horizon has a future yet to be discovered now feeling almost new born
Hold your head up high, banish the clutter that really doesn't matter as you carry on,

Through the Storm

JJB

I don't think I have ever been 'normal'
One that ticks every box
Ever so pleasant and formal
But who does walk this never trodden line?
One so boring it'll never be remembered in time
As I like the path that ridicules and perceives
That man they always talk about,
A legend like Jimmy Greaves
Don't tow the line to just fit in like the rest
Be extravagant
Be that jealous talent
Be the ****** best

JJB

It's a day we never know coming
Could be anything
ANYTHING
An accident
A car crash
A mafia whack
And you just think you'll go on forever
Well listen up
Today is Tuesday
It could be any day
But it is today
I won't say how
I won't say why
But it's going to be a today
Tuesday.
Who knew?

JJB

Chasm
That's the space you want to fill
Looking out of the window whilst serving on the till
People buying those tickets for a load they only dream
Lotteries around the world letting off that mystic steam

Waiting
Maybe they'll pick you up that unknown multi millionaire
Living a life now in a dream without a single care
Your thoughts of a dramatic career basically now a flop
So why would that man of influence be shopping in co-op?

Dreaming
Looking at the Cava thinking its only cheap Champagne
What should I wear to Sharon's party as that top is now stained
Who's going to be there I suppose the usual bunch of boys
Then he pulled up in front of my door, a Silver Rolls Royce

Hello
Older but not by much he stumbles through, such a panic
Do you have anything to get this stain away from such fabric
Hot water, a good scrub as he ripped it off down to his tum
I took it, soap and then some, you'd be the kind of girl to meet my mum

Someday
Dried under the blower in the ladies toilet
I'm sure if I got with him he'd have my life summed up
So thankful he threw it on and told me I was his hero
I blushed, felt good for a while but then back down to zero

Again,

Someday

JJB

I ain't no looker but I'll always give it a go
Had the odd ****** with some they'd call a ***
Been dealt the ugly stick with my face blow by blow
I'll leave the ugly ones alone and not stoop so low
Talking at a pub, a bistro, a bar
I'd try the poshest, the fittest, the ra-ra-ra
The ones who'd say no just waiting for a ya-ya-ya
For the honeys with the money and the Eva Herzigova Wonderbra
But I'd scan the room and those numbers I'd be crunching
As the morning comes and a breakfast I'd be munching
No complaints as the taxi they'd be funding
As I always went above my weight in a fight I'd always be punching
Now I'm not saying this to be 100% true
A bit like Rita, Sue and Bob too
But I would always see the job right through
As once I even ended up with not one but two
Now as the world seems to live on a hotbed of lies
The majority just laughed and said their goodbyes
When some just gave in with a yes and a sigh
Because Lord only knows he loves a man who does try,

Punching
👊🏼

JJB

They come, they go, they order what they know
Some dressed in hi-vis, pin stripe,
even those in miniskirts, hi heels with their toes on show
A hard night's graft, taken in from the draft
Five minutes they'll never remember
From the morning rush
Some late without a brush
A breakfast forgotten in the depths of hangover
Old biddies sit and chatter
The price of life now their natter
And their tea now costing a small fortune
But to socialise and talk
To just sit and then a walk
Is the highpoint to some people's day 😉

The Cafe

JJB

Back in my teens I'd laugh at anyone for the craic
I didnt see that humour divides and lead down certain tracks
From get goers on The Word to Chris Evan's mate on TFI Friday
Even EuroTrash to Julian Clary's ever so camp and gay,
any humour hit the spot for me.

But life has changed.

Times have changed.

Humour has drastically changed.

This modern selection just finds me searching for more
The list is demographic, edgeless, toothless, even analytical to its core
You can't laugh at that as it may upset someone with less money
Give me Joan River's who didn't give two *****, honey
I miss the ruthlessness of Billy Connely, and that once of Frankie Boyle
Who seems to have quivered into the PC, just sunk into the modern soil

And the crowd that dominate just blend into oblivion
From Romesh Ranganathan to Ross Noble, Alex Brooker to Josh Widdecombe
TV programmes such as Citizen Khan onto the utterly humourless show called Mum
At least Blackadder had us in stitches and was a bit of fun!

Or maybe it's just me and I havent adapted to this modern world
Perhaps I'm stuck in the past and caught in a slightly off centre right wing whirl
Whatever it is I do still love some comics on the circuit that don't tire,
Jimmy Carr to Mickey Flanagan, old clips of Bill Hicks and the always brilliant Michael McIntyre

And my favourites such as Frank Skinner and onto Lee Mack
The others,
please,
somebody give them the sack.

JJB

That shining light we both once had
It trickles to a dim flicker and into a fad
I would try and make these words loving and long
But like my love for you a hapless worry
Now unconvincing and just gone
Its so true and yes, Christ yes,
I'm sorry

JJB

That first step
A launch into the unknown
Who knows where it could lead
Life's predicaments all in your montage
Dreams of a dream we all had that once
It's a journey of an utter unknown
Could last for years or be over in the snap of a bone
So why do you predict a happy and fruitful life
I just want the best of whilst living as sharp as a knife
Smiling like a fruit-fly who is just here to have some fun
Watch me burn, watch me fly,
But most of all honey,
Show me how you run!!!

In this world we all have a double
It's you with a growth of designer stubble
Only 2 foot shorter like Barney Rubble
Strutting the scene with a jive and a walk
But unlike you they've got the talk
And being a sworn religeon they wouldnt eat no pork
Do they have the same luck in life like me, I've had none
Or did they take a different path and become a priest or a nun
Maybe they might have robbed a bank and are still on the run
Who knows what we might have done in a time of another
A new life as an imposter acting as twin sister or twin brother
Or always acting as a fraud as life is just a cover
Your double could be the kindest soul but of that we'll never know
Just the luck of the dice in life we throw I suppose
Yet they could just be the rhyming reverse off this,
Not like you,
your double, trouble

JJB

They say you should always wear sun cream
They say you should always follow your dreams
They say you shouldn't drive to fast
They say you shouldn't swear but then I cannot be arsed

They reckon that times goes faster the older you get
They reckon that No.1 is always a safe bet
They reckon that we landed on the moon
They reckon that he didn't meet Mr Spoon

They are 'the they' but who the devil are they
They are the guiding light in whatever they ever say
They are the ones who told us there was some kind of God
They are the ones with wisdom but I would rather believe my dog

They say wise things but not always right
They say we cant live forever but I will always shine like a light
They say so much within the rules that we all live by
But I'm sick of what they always say as I walk on with a sigh,

Believe your own truth

JJB

A cupboard full of cups all of which are assorted
Some you like
Some you loathe
Some should just be aborted
Now I can't throw that away as it's not mine to drink
A present, a holiday place when at the time you didnt think
That football you team you despise but your partner just loves
Or their unicorn standing tall releasing turtle doves (come on)
But you frown and leave them to be
Pushed to the back so that no one can actually see
You pick the same 4 mugs on a daily basis
One for tea, one for lunch and your favourite, your secret
Its a sad state of affairs when you have your priorities
Which is best for a cup-a-soup over your mug of tea
But I think this is what makes us a total breed apart
We stop
We think
We look in the sink
As a cup of tea is the only way to start.

JJB

Well it's easy
This is what you do
Tell no one
Nobody
Nothing
Its your idea
Yeah, it's been rattling around up there for years, but it's yours
Write it down
Lock it away
Whack a copyright on it
And when the time is right...
Unveil your life change for this world to see,
And that my friend can answer your question of,

So you want to be a millionaire?

JJB

Today I was told we all sin in our lifetime
This from a priest at a funeral for a friend of mine
Of course we all have that insane illegal thought
But good parenting knows not to proactive what bad TV has taught
And then sometimes it clicks, that nasty, inner unknown switch
That unleashes some hidden stowaway evil gaddamn itch
Scratch scratch
Twitch twitch
Come on now and unleash that heady, now monstrous *****!

JJB

There is me
The Copper/The Nurse/The Firefighter/The man in black who drives that humble hurse
There is also me
The Mother/The Father/The Sister/The Brother/The off the clock non-decision maker
I'm paid to care
I'm afraid to even dare
You love me when I'm working
You see me hiding if not lurking
Always up the craic when on the beat
Always hiding away and crossing the street
For I am as two faced as you can get
So don't put your life in my hands or its something you might regret.

JJB

The noise, the harshness, as course as steel off-cuts
To berate, just one word, will have one man scared
From Dundee to Inverness and Clyde,
Just a sentence from a Glaswegian will make you hide
A friendly hello can sometimes sound like a fight
A nod of the cap, I won't upset you,
Let me just keep out of your sight
A pint in the pub with no eye contact at all
Hello, how are ye, what was all the worry
To be scared of such friendly people I have been a fool
The craic is mighty with the pub next to an aging brothel
Best mates now with the few I was so wary
As like most men drunk it all come out as Scottish waffle

JJB

Guys! You have ten minutes. Ten Minutes!
A clatter as a pan hits the ground
The presenter looks with a smile but not a sound
A raised brow and a flurry of panic
The fear in their eyes all trying to cook organic

You won't believe it but Courtney was just necking Craig by the pool
Shut up! No way!
Seriously
After just telling us all he's gonna propose to Abbey when he gets out
And Abbey's watching this?
Uh huh
What a ****
You know that
A complete ****
It's gonna cause a spat
Unbelievable

I was told by my teacher that I had a voice
But working the tills at ASDA was my only choice
Then this lady heard me humming as I scanned through her Spam
She dragged me to her agent as we rode the Manchester tram
I sang
She cried
I'd never sang with such pride
And hear I stand with Ant and Dec
Cameras on with nowhere to hide

Guys! You have two minutes. two minutes!
Etc. Etc. Etc.............And Repeat

JJB

I could speak to you tomorrow for an hour or two
See you next week and wouldn't know it was you
Any distinctions go right over my head
From a great big nose to something you said
You could stand out in the crowd
With a rainbow telling the world you are proud
But to me you are just another forgotten face
No recollection of time nor place
You could be the nicest of guys or a bit of a ****
No matter what, we should all wear a name tag

#IthinkIhaveaproblem

JJB

A thousand thoughts
I don't know where to begin
Let's simplify this conundrum
Stop
Think
Kettle on
Breathe
A cup of tea
Always the best beginning
Simplicity itself
Tea.
OK,
Lets begin...

JJB

Any food to suit your taste
So always wear an elasticated waist
The calories pile as you seal your own fate
Christ I love it on a Sunday
The all you can eat extravaganza
Curry for breakfast followed by scones and tea
It says it in writing, eat all you can see
Leaving so full that will do you for the day
I'll be back same time next week,
at the all you can eat buffet

JJB

If coffee is your pick me up
Some toast, brush your teeth and then a sup
of course, from your favourite cup
A little toing and throwing
Once that storms been brewing
Then stick the telly on for the daily stewing
JV with his band of ever ready journalists
Some too gobby, some too shy, the odd one taking the, ahem
All settled down by that voice from the Scottish mist
Men seem to sway to the sound of her calming charm
The women mainly agree after the wake up of their alarm
Still sat on the sofa in your quilt, just to keep warm
A pick me up for your everyday commit
Two hours of fun, frolics, politics and while you just sit
And think about how to keep going and just to keep fit

A Storm is Brewing

JJB