Artistic imitation will get you everywhere in life

The door is open
You don't need to worry about sticking a foot in

We're here for you
but right now we've taken leaves of absence
We're here for you
but soon we'll be gone

But I can see you now
You don't have to talk to anyone about it
You don't need permission

You have my unconditional attention after all

Entrapment
Infringement

Produce it like they would in a sweatshop
Cut you knuckles open and rub them in salt

Stand up
and watch it take hold

How does it feel to have reality dismantled
Even if it is subjective
It hurts

My emotions are flat
My head is open now more than ever

I love you so ******* much

This is what you asked for
I will tell you what you want

Scars as gateways into my plastic heart
worn and beating out of time

When will you realize that you are out of time?

Can you not see
Could you not tell

I could use some good medicine
For my headaches
For me to take before I call my therapist
For me to pretend I'm not sick

My relationship with you is what carrion is to a vulture
I am hungry and I am cold but I can never sleep
It seems that everything programmed to defeat me has fallen through this time

I want to search your cavities
I want to wash you free of your sins

I want to deconstruct you
I want to break you down
so let me inside of you

we control our daily medicine
we dose ourselves

we open windows
only to jump out of
but never to look back

the storm has taken the pain away
but the storm will not last long enough

all of it is a lie
stop suffering for it

all of me is besides the point
all of me is dwindling
slow, ****** agony

I remember drowning and that's it
Time runs backwards
Nonsense is produced

My bones scare me more than the concrete that shatters them
Am I here forever?
Because I've forgotten all of it

empty hull
emptied corridors
empty nicotine stomach
coughing up animal fat

I am dead
inside of my head
when I'm the only one left
this is the only thing I think I know

but I can't take it anymore

that's what was said
that's what I thought

I was wrong
so wrong

It is difficult to operate machines on an empty stomach
Something about their piercing glare is so
Appetizing

I live for my next meal
That is to say I think I can afford it

When I'm gone, I don't want much to happen, as that would have been how it was regardless
I ask for one last glance towards the horizon over the water
I feel as if that's all I need

Every time we went to the pool
You mocked the lifeguards
For their hair and the way they applied their sunscreen

I bet you thought that was funny
Until you drowned

Dear you,

My heart aches for you. But, there's only so much I can do, or there's never enough that I can do. One of those, I don't know which. I wrote this because I hurt too, we all do. I like to subdue pain, only because I don't know how to end it.

I'm sorry

The breadwinner was hot railing at last
We have dismantled the illusion

Persecution according to prosecution
If only to feign partiality

Give up once you can feel it
Go to sleep when it cries for you

Sometimes it is better not to worry
Sometimes it is better not to own guns
But, what can I say

Tell me who I am
Before I figure it out myself

Take my hands and bring me back to the high chairs and the birthday candles and pretend I was okay for just a little bit longer if not only to make me smile

I will almost never forget that

I wish you would raise me like the daughter you've always wanted
Don't lie to me
I wish instead of broadcasting my name without my permission
You would listen to me for once instead
and have patience
and have faith

Suicide is the ultimate failure
My bones are crafted out of fear
My tendons are ripped out of anxiety

The moon laughed along with me although it was dim
Flash flood warnings are both of our favorite things
The storm clouds controlled by me and the moon

This is not the worst option
but by far the most precarious

Why did they leave me here?
Fragments of reality pierce my brain
It looks like you aren't sure who you are anymore

Higher planes
Blood is boiling

Cities made of chalkboard scratchings
with mock airplane pilots and people sipping coffee
leaking with black ink

Dress me in my best suit
and lower me
put me underneath

Dress me in my best suit
and bury me
drown me in apathy
and breathe my last breath for me

If someone loves you
They love you

Gag me
and tell me to breathe easy
Cut me
and ask me to bleed neatly

Nonentity is of no consequence
If you are aiming to please

Well, actually, or rather potentially
nothing
dead and gone

All of my dignity got stuck in an electric fence
My pride mangles itself, trying to unfold on chicken-wire
I am taken by the throat

It is okay to bite your nails
It is okay to talk to me
It is okay

All of it is an advertisement for your death

Lately I've been glancing through the haze
to ensure your last of days was that and only that

I need a new disease
this one has escaped me

I need a new disaster to harness
I need a new cacophony to conquer
I need a new archetype to emulate

We deloused it
so we could stare at it
we vaccinated her to
remove potential pregnancies

the only reason to participate is ultimately to remain calm, and in sight

this is one I might have been meaning to get off my chest for a while
but I have allowed my body to abandon me
to leave me cold and vulnerable

the way they beat you must feel nice
you think I'm cool?
you're wrong

it is funny until it makes the headlines
it is funny, to you
I bet, or at least I hope or else
why did I write this?

Well, I don't know and
that's the most I can say

My heart doesn't work
but I still have machines
to help "me" survive

hunger pains make little boys flinch at night
convulsing their way through nightmares
and shooting up in their bedrooms

I stole myself from someone else
and I'm not here now

all I know is how to take my pills and how to be alone

the table is set
but no one is home
this is why our Christmas decorations have been around for so long
we're all gone

will whatever is in me
blossom and bear fruit?

or will I be left to rot and
wilt
like the rest of the flowers
a bouquet for you that is now gone because you are not there

Whatever your favorite currency is
I will burn it

I never meant to hurt you
but I did

a loser should have no intuition
but I do

The doctors
told me
I'd have
a year
with no teeth

zero teeth
a hero lies in grief
with everything beneath

As it grew
As it were
As it falls

zero teeth
hero obsolete
forget what lies beneath

if only to make it brief
rinse and repeat
chew but don't swallow

smile, smile, smile

Lead but always follow
Making sure is just the burden of my borrow

comfort in quicksand
a labyrinth of off-colors
conclusions with a knife

I put an ad in the paper for someone to carve me to the bone
To whittle my bones into shivs
To gently strangle me with cellophane from the cupboard right where you knew it was

You knew it

I can sense you from miles away
I can feel your touch in passing tides
I can see you in my dreams but I don't want you there

I wish you'd have asked first
I wish you'd have hung the phone up and gone to bed

life is never fair
that's why people invented games

I'm telling you that what you did to me is not and will never be right

ripping out my teeth
for the sake of inorganics

carve your head like an
ice sculpture
and present you to your family

"he ran like a ******* gazelle" he jumped out of a window and ran down the street

which didn't stop me from running him over with my car

looking for a part of myself to call alive
in the face of this

for multiple partitions of my youth I was exclusively accompanied by a black crow
it followed me everywhere, it perched strategically outside of my window and called to me all throughout the night and through each painful day I called upon my will to smash the crow but it would not let me frantically I ran to the garage and got some gas a rag and threw it at my house in hopes of scaring the bird but it was gone

carrion, forever
immortality crushed
red tastes and broken glass everywhere

look at the mess I have made of my life

rudiments of a former dwelling
silt from the river
to cover fragments and bone

to color the walls of my being
to deduce me to dust

God is dead